Clank, clank, drink, drink, bank, bank.
I'm Pomona Bullets, you are.
Pomona.
Oh, god damn it.
OK, so I'm Barug Medusa, you are.
Pomona Bullets.
This is Top Show.
Hi, Jinx.
Welcome to our podcast.
Welcome.
Good day, Bestie.
There.
What up, Bestie?
The volume is actually working on my fucking phone now.
I don't know what the fuck happened.
It's all these stupid fucking updates.
I'm so sick of them.
You know what?
Yeah, let's just start.
Let's start in the rant.
I fucking hate the iPhone Apple updates.
They are just a pain in my ass.
They were never a pain in my ass when I was on Android.
Yeah.
There.
Yeah, that is totally my rant.
I try to go as long as I can without fucking updating.
And then it finally just says, guess what, bitch?
You're going to fucking update tonight.
Right.
And I hate when it says update tonight.
So I'm like, what time is that?
Because you know I wake up early.
So just update it now because I don't
need you interrupting my sleep cycle or my alarm clock not
going off when it's supposed to.
Right.
And then it's like a whole new platform.
I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?
This old ass bitch just got used to the old platform.
Now I got to figure out, where the fuck do I send a gift?
Right.
And you know what?
I'm tired of all the tips that keep popping up.
Here's a learn a new tip.
I'm like, bitch, why don't you just keep everything the way
it was?
I just finally started to get used to being on an iPhone.
And now you're going to change it up again.
And then it's like you just agree and you
sign your life away to the fucking seat in hell.
And you're just like, well, fuck, did I just agree to?
I should have fucking read the shit before I
clicked a little button.
I agree.
But if you don't agree, guess what?
Your shit out of luck.
Right.
They're going to update it anyways.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Fucking crazy.
I need one of those Junebug old people phone.
I just buy contacts and the buttons are like the size
of a fucking place.
Matt.
Got the flip phone action going on with that little antenna
as well.
Exactly.
I'm like, you can pay your bill at Walmart.
Fuck, man.
What's it called?
The the money gram or whatever.
Yeah.
Western Union speaking of Walmart, my mom asked my
daughter to go to Walmart for her today.
And I'm like, I'm like, I actually have to go to Walmart
too.
So my daughter's like, well, let's just go together.
But I looked at the time it was 9 15.
I'm like, it's too fucking late to go to Walmart.
She's like, I'm sorry.
Already out.
Thank you.
She's like, I'm like, and it's a Sunday and it's Christmas.
So we're totally fucked.
She's like, I'll just order everything from Amazon.
I'm like, bless you.
Fuck Walmart during Christmas and fuck Walmart
after the first hour they're opened.
Like I refused to go there after the first hour
that they were open.
You know what's even worse?
Do you guys have the 24 hour Walmart?
No, I don't think so.
Shit.
Well, when I was down there, there used to be a 24 hour.
And I'm like, you know what?
OK, so all bad things happen after midnight.
Like I'm probably not going to go after midnight.
Especially to a Walmart.
Yeah, to a fucking Walmart.
You're just shopping with the zombies and their PJs.
And I mean, I don't know.
It's God.
It's great people watching, I guess.
But I mean, you have to be careful.
Park under a fucking light and park in the park.
Right.
Shit.
Oh, Walmart.
Good old Walmart.
It seems like I haven't talked to you in forever.
I know.
We really haven't.
Right.
And the last time we podcasted, I think,
was it on Thanksgiving?
I think we were aiming for Thanksgiving.
I don't know.
It wasn't on a Sunday because I know my mom had
to take my mom to urgent care.
So that was on a Sunday.
I don't even know what Sunday that was.
I don't know.
Well, at least we're back to our regular schedule.
Yes.
And I hope everybody missed us because I miss talking to you
and I missed Rantin and Raving.
All the time.
So I just have little tidbits for today.
I don't have any actual topics.
I don't know if you have any topics.
Not necessarily.
I just kind of have my life.
Right?
Well, I'll let you go first then.
Because my stuff isn't really substantial or, I guess,
meaningful.
Well, shit.
I'm not either.
I am going to still rant.
I did get my hair done.
And yay.
Yeah, you would think because that's the one thing
that I look forward to as far as pampering myself.
Right.
Got to get the hair done.
And the gal, she wasn't my typical gal.
But I was OK with that because, one, my typical gal was like,
you're limited on when you can come in.
And I'm like, yeah.
So it's like every other Thursday I have off from work.
So I try to schedule it on that Thursday.
Right?
So she's like, here's this gal.
She's really good.
And of course, she's going to highly recommend her.
And nice gal, nice gal.
She was like, whatever.
And you know, you have that conversation like,
so how long have you been doing hair?
And also, I have to say, even though I'm fucking half Caucasian,
I have that eyeliner hair.
And not, you need a specialist who knows how to deal with the hair.
But OK, whatever.
I'm just getting my roots touched up.
This guy's my roots darker than I am.
Like, why?
Why?
I am trying.
I have for over a year now, I have been trying to go lighter.
So to blend in this fucking gray.
Why the hell would you dye my fucking roots so dark?
So your old hairstylist, she didn't go over what she normally does
with your hair to the new girl?
You would think so.
It's like, isn't that in the book?
Like, yeah.
Like, we mix this color with that or whatever the fuck?
I don't know.
I'm not a hairstylist.
But yeah.
I mean, it doesn't look bad, but I'm like, oh, fuck.
Three weeks.
I'm doomed.
And then, OK, so did you tell her to go lighter next time?
Oh, yeah.
And I was asking her, at first, when I left the salon,
it was, you know how they just blow dry your hair?
They do whatever.
And they're just like, you like it?
And I'm not the one that goes up close to the mirror.
And I'm just kind of like, wait a second.
This is a little too dark.
I just want the one.
But I should be the one.
Well, you are going to be like, I'm that way with two.
But I finally found the right hair person.
So make sure you speak up next time because it's one thing
to waste your money.
But when you get your time wasted, oh, my God,
I had a nightmare with my hair before my first or before my hair
guy right now.
But yeah, it's just fucking, you know how the process is.
It's four fucking hours for me.
Yep.
It's probably longer for you because your hair is thick
and kinky.
Fuck yeah.
It's fucking horrible.
Like I'm just there and I'm just sitting for like four fucking
hours.
That's a quick hair appointment for me.
When I'm getting the foil and all the other shit.
That's at least seven.
Yep.
Yeah.
I mean, everybody knows my whole life story and shit.
I'm just talking, trying to stay awake.
I don't fucking know.
Like fucking playing Candy Crush on my phone.
No.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe that game is still going strong.
It's crazy how long that game has been going.
I know.
It's so weird.
But it's like my little go to where I'm just like, fuck it.
I did start playing this one game because I guess Candy Crush
now allows you to, if you run out of moves,
it's like you want to watch a video, like a commercial or what
night.
Oh, you're that advanced.
And I was like, oh, yeah, I'll get five more moves
and keep my stars or whatever.
I don't know.
So I'm watching these little videos.
And it's commercials or promotions for other games.
And I saw this game and it's like find out who the killer is.
And this is like, oh.
And I was like, wow, that's awesome.
And it shows video footage.
Kind of like if somebody's at an ATM,
you know that one video where you can see people at the ATM
or whatnot.
Right.
And crap like that.
So they try to make it real life type.
And then you have this little agent that's just like, oh,
you got to do this.
I was like, fuck yeah.
I'm going to find all the killers.
I'm going to find all the thieves.
I'm going to fucking tell this shit.
And I'm fucking rocking at it.
I'll tell you that.
I should have been a homicide detective.
The homicide detective lineage is strong.
Yeah.
It's in my DNA.
I should have done it.
So speaking of find a killer, do you know who Keith Morrison is?
He's the Dateline NBC guy who does all the true crime shows
and podcasts.
Yes.
Did you know that he is the stepfather to Matthew Perry?
Shut the front door.
That's what I said.
I didn't.
I read that last.
I think it was last week when it showed up on my newsfeed.
I'm like, why is he paying tribute to Matthew Perry?
I mean, obviously he's paying tribute.
But I was just like, and I read the article and I'm like,
that's his stepdad?
I didn't.
I never knew that.
Oh, snap.
I didn't know that either.
Yeah.
So I was just like, man, if anybody could speak on,
I guess, death and all that stuff,
it would be Keith Morrison.
Yeah.
Like, you better do a fucking special on this one,
because I don't think he just drowned.
Right.
He was playing pickleball earlier that day.
Speaking of pickleball, let's segue into this.
So on my newsfeed, what's her name?
Michelle Pfeiffer got a black eye from playing pickleball.
No.
Instagram.
Yes.
It's on her fucking Instagram.
I forgot her name on fucking Scarface.
But I'm like, homegirl from Scarface,
has a goddamn black eye.
From pickleball?
I've never played.
Have you?
No, I have not.
What is it?
It's kind of like a, it's on a tennis court,
but I guess it's not like the full measurements.
I don't know.
Ping pong type, like on a tarot.
I guess.
I don't know.
It's not badminton.
I like badminton.
That was pretty good at that.
That's what the shuttlecock.
Oh, my gosh.
I, yeah, there's just some, I don't know.
I do need to stay active.
I know.
I do know that, but pickleball, I just hear so much about it.
But, you know, I would make a drinking game out of it,
and I would just be sitting on the bleachers,
watching people do pickleball, I guess.
Yeah.
I would just put a whistle around my neck and just blow the whistle.
And then you can wrap that song.
Blow the whistle.
By two short.
I fell.
There's no fouls in pickleball.
Oh, okay.
Touchdown.
Score.
I fucking know.
Are you watching the Chargers game or is it up there?
Oh, so for some, okay, another rant.
Here we go.
I purchased the stupid fucking NFL game day.
And they said, you can watch any game and you just pick your team
and we're going to do it for a hundred bucks.
And I'm like, sold.
And every time I go onto the fucking app,
because I'm like, okay, it's not airing here where I live.
So let me see.
And they're like off market.
I can listen to it.
Oh, God.
Fucking listen.
It's not a podcast bitch.
Yeah, like fuck that.
Well, it can't listen.
There's less than two minutes left in the fourth and the Chargers
are up six zero, but they just had a commercial with Charles Woodson.
Charles Woodson has always been handsome.
He looks so, he's just so fucking handsome.
I, him and Howie, I still, you know,
how long is very fucking handsome too.
He is. And I'm like, dude,
I don't care how much gray you have.
You are like sharp.
Like, I just love you.
Howie saying,
fucking nice.
Like, God damn.
But I have my pops and he's like texting me.
He's like, oh shit.
So you don't get the Chargers game.
This and that.
He's like, oh, and my dad is so fucking hilarious.
I love him.
I still need to meet him.
So you need to fly down here and then we can all hang out.
Oh hell yeah.
We would have a heyday.
You would love my dad.
I know I would.
That's why I need to fucking meet him.
Fucking awesome.
I'm just like, I'm just so proud to say I'm his offspring.
Like, I love you dad.
That's the kind of daughter that everybody needs to have in their life.
Right.
But it does cause a little friction when I'm trying to date.
And they're just like, daddy's girl.
I'm like, yeah, but that's right.
That's how I am.
I don't give a shit.
I love my dad.
And I expect my dad to one like you.
And if he doesn't, that's kind of like a deal breaker.
Call me what you want.
It's, it's, it's going to be.
You know, it's a double standard because when I meet a mommy's boy.
I'm like, get the fuck out of my face. Like, yeah, you're an earth sign
like me. So that doesn't go well.
I'm like, I'm just over that shit.
Yeah.
But my mom.
I have to call her every Sunday.
Like fuck off the fuck.
Grosome.
I don't speak.
No.
Speaking of babies.
I don't know.
Speaking of babies.
So my mom, I had to pick her up.
She wasn't feeling well this week.
She had a cold.
So I picked, she wanted a happy meal.
So I picked her up a happy meal.
Now I know you have two kids.
How much.
You picked them up for your kids.
Happy meals.
Honestly.
I used to.
At least once a week.
Right.
When they were, when they were younger, younger.
They were like, I don't know.
I don't know.
But it was just like, hey, this is McDonald's is
McDamage.
And I need to be a better parent.
And like, we're not doing this.
So now I would say that I might get.
My son.
He likes those motherfucking more gallon chicken nuggets.
I'll pick it up for him.
Maybe.
Maybe twice a month.
No, but I mean, when they were younger, when you would pick them
up for your kids, they would be like, oh, I'm going to get
a burger.
I'm going to get a burger.
Do you remember how much they costed?
Oh yeah.
They cost.
Yeah.
They were like fucking like.
Okay.
So when my daughter was growing up because obviously she's way
older than your kids.
It was one 99.
Two 99 for you.
I picked up my mom.
A happy meal.
A hamburger.
Happy meal.
Just a hamburger.
Not cheeseburger.
Regular soda.
And I guess.
I don't know what came in it.
Carl's Jr.
$5 and 39 cents.
Well, I guess I was like, this is a double happy meal.
And they were like, okay, I'm only over an hour.
And then when I got there,
I just, I just got a hundred and thirty one.
So I'm like, I guess that's, I mean, that sounds about right.
But that was just crazy.
That.
A fucking happy meal that would probably not even fill me up.
Right.
I was just like.
And then they made like the big kid Happy Meal.
Or some shit.
Yeah.
And so McDonald's has an adult Happy Meal coming out.
And I guess a guy who, I don't know his name,
but he designed sneakers.
He designed all I guess the half.
but there's like six of them and I'm like, oh, that's pretty cool.
I'm not going to buy them or buy it, but I guess I didn't realize that McDonald's does that.
So I was just like, OK, well, that's cool.
I'm sure they fucking make bank on that goddamn shit, though.
If they get like a sneaker designer to fucking do the toys.
Yeah, you know, it's so funny.
Somebody sent me a meme of the adult happy meals, and I thought it was fake.
I was like, McDonald's is not coming out with an adult happy meal.
But I am.
It was a meme and the prize was a bag of soda.
Well, you know, my happy meal would be Don Julio, 70 and
so like put a Cheeto shot in there for my fucking shit.
The little bottles that you pick up at the liquor store.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
That's just right there.
That's like a pinata.
I'll knock it down real fucking quick.
Yeah, I'll hit it gently, too.
So that's right.
And plus it won't hit me on the head and make my head hurt.
No, or just bash the shit out of it and just
skid under and open your mouth like rain.
Fuck, you know what?
That's right. Make it rain, bitch.
Make it rain.
Oh, God, yeah.
That's as a matter of fact, I went to fucking.
What was it?
Carl's junior.
And you know what?
I was like, I'm going to just fuck the meal.
I don't give a shit about your shitty ass fries.
I do like their crisp cut fries, but their fries are.
Yeah, you know what?
Their fries are so just mediocre for Carl's.
Yeah, just sucks.
And then especially if you get the cold ones, right?
Even McDonald's cold fries, you're just like.
But it's right.
Exactly.
And you can't fucking Carl's junior.
Cold, they're all fucking.
Yeah, they're just fucking gross.
And it's like two dollars extra to get the crisp cut.
And then they tell you to go and park in that little waiting section
because no bitch, you wanted the extra.
So now you.
Yeah. So now now we'll come and bring you your fucking crisp cut fries.
And then you still get some of those soggy ass fries in there.
I'm like, wait a minute, get these soggy bitches out of here.
Right.
But I went and I asked for I was like, I just think a bacon Western
cheeseburger sounds good right about now.
Um, why the fuck was it eight dollars?
They used to taste so good when I was growing up.
They taste like shit now.
Like even when I drive by Carl's junior, it fucking it doesn't even smell right.
And I know my my.
That worked.
And she was like, a nut.
When you get on your way home, can you pick up in and out?
And I'm like, no, no.
Well, you just want a fucking hamburger.
I am not going to fucking in and out for one fucking hamburger bitch.
I'm so sorry.
I'm like, I'm going to grow a three outlet.
I need to pick up chicken breasts.
I will pick you up.
Carl's junior.
And you're going to like $30 later.
Right.
Like what the fuck?
And it's just garbage.
So speaking of fast food, come on about.
I got hooked on little Caesars and I know little Caesars pizza is just like
mediocre or whatever, right?
But they have pretzel crust pizza girl.
I know.
And instead of marinara, they put the pretzel.
Not sure.
Yeah, they put that they put the nacho cheese and I'm like, I'm like,
oh, that's my new copain.
I fucking.
After this podcast, I am going to order one.
And here's the thing.
Here's that's the rave for for Baroque Medusa.
But the rant is.
There's pizzas by my house and neither one of them fucking makes them.
I have to drive to Azusa to pick it up.
Yeah, I thought it was like all of them because they're all franchise,
but I'm like, no, I have to go to fucking Azusa, which are.
And by Azusa, I mean the border of Glendora.
So basically, I have to drive to my brother's house to pick up this fucking pizza.
That is my new cocaine. I I love that fucking pizza.
I and but it's like, why?
So little scissors, man, I'm not going to say too much TMI, but.
Yeah, the five dollar pizza or whatever.
That's decent.
I like their thin crust pizza.
They make it actually.
And I do like their deep dish.
Oh, I can't do deep dish.
It's too greasy for me.
It's just like it gives me it gives me bubble guts.
But you know what?
It's the way it smells like when you go to the restroom next.
So you're just like, you know, you ate little scissors.
Just like when you eat Tommy's.
Yeah, it's like, you know, you know, or if you eat a cup of noodle, you see that fucking shit.
You're just like, I know I ate a cup of noodle.
God, it just sucks.
But yeah, I I always regret it.
With the bubble gut, but yeah, I can't do pizza and like fried chicken,
like maybe once a year because after that is bubble gut city.
Oh, I can't.
I have to make my own fried chicken, but it just it's a lot of work.
I totally understand.
And I'm just like, gosh, dang it.
It's it's like the equivalent to the Hispanics making
tamales for Christmas. I'm like, I'm making fried chicken.
I haven't found once a year.
I haven't found any Hispanic ladies at work and there's a bunch of Hispanic guys there.
They're like, no, they don't make them.
I was just like, what the fuck is this world coming to?
I know.
When are they on strike?
I guess.
So whatever.
I'm fucking sad.
I'll ship you some tamales.
I'm an I'm an Islander, but I can still make some fucking solid tamales.
Just sucks because it's like there's no assembly line.
It's just me and I'm like, fuck this.
You're fucking so stupid.
Like, you know, this work for like a dozen.
I wish there was an assembly line when I meal prep to the shit just fucking sucks.
And I just.
I just couldn't.
I just couldn't cook up, too.
That shit just fucking sucks.
And I fucking I'm like, I.
I still have to cook up two pounds of ground beef for my.
So I can have my ground sirloin for the week and I got to mix it with the
fucking mixed or the McCormick's taco seasoning.
It's just a pain.
It is a pain.
And I tell my son.
Like, can you be my soup chef?
Right.
I was gonna be in my life.
Shit. How are you doing with
Karate? He's doing amazing. He
was supposed to be going for his
blue belt all right. Yeah. But
um but that was gonna be
December 9th and I was kind of
bummed out because I work that
day and hey you know somebody
has to pay the bills so I don't
Who could help or who could take him?
And then my son comes out of karate class the other day
and he tells me mom,
Sensei said to skip this tournament.
And I said, skip the tournament.
And I'm thinking to myself, like, what did you say?
My mom's broke?
And I can't, like, we can't.
And I told him we couldn't buy bagels the other day
at the fucking The Grocery Store.
And I said, oh, that's what I fucking want.
That ain't a need.
We don't need blueberry bagels and fucking cream cheese.
I will place an order for that and have it shipped to you guys.
Don't worry about it.
And I was like, oh shit.
But no, the Sensei actually was like Blue Belt.
It's a little bit, because now he's in the adult classes.
Oh, look at him.
Yeah.
And Blue Belt, it's not just kind of like,
hey, you just got to move and you advance.
This is you really have to know your combos.
You really have to know some things.
And he thinks that my son probably would do better,
just practicing a little more.
Oh.
Yeah, so he can pass.
And then he's with the adults now.
Yeah.
OK, well good.
So that gives him time to practice.
Now I'm going to march.
Yeah, because it's not like he comes home and practices.
Like, I have no idea.
I'm just, I'll play like a fucking Jet Lee movie for him.
And just be like, copy that.
Oh my god, I fucking love you, Bid.
Just replicate this.
You'll pass.
Yeah, you'll pass.
Just do that.
Not a mistake.
I don't fucking know.
But yeah, but he's doing good.
He's hanging in there.
Yay.
I'm glad.
Yeah.
Is he, wait, is he in high school right now?
Or he's still in junior high?
He will be in high school after this year.
Oh, so he's in.
He's last year of junior high.
OK.
Or middle school, whatever the fuck.
Yeah.
He's, and he's so good.
And he's actually taking college prep courses already.
And he's going to be a mechanical engineer.
And I'm like, I fucking love you, son.
Did I, I don't know.
I feel like Rod Stewart.
Like, have I told you lately that I fucking love you?
I was like, I fucking love you.
Speaking of Rod Stewart, you know his daughter, Kimberly
Stewart?
Yes.
OK, she's not really great looking.
I know that's rude to say, but she's not really great looking.
She's not too easy on the eyes.
You know she fucking has a kid.
Yeah, exactly.
She's not easy on the eyes at all.
She has a fucking kid with Benicio del Toro.
What the fuck?
That kid is like 11 or 12.
The kid is kind of cute.
And I was just like, oh, I don't know what happened that night
or how you hooked up with Benicio del Toro.
But OK.
Damn it.
It's like, where am I going wrong?
I know.
Fuck.
OK, well, sorry.
I didn't mean to break your spirit right there,
but it broke mine.
I was just like, what the fuck happened that night?
You guys have had a been doing coke, right?
Yeah, I had to.
Fucking had to.
I am not understanding what's going on.
She's like, what the?
Well, maybe because she got fucking cash flow.
I mean, I don't know.
Well, it's got the cash flow too, so I don't know.
She probably swallows.
I don't fucking know.
There you have it.
I'm too old and tired.
I'm like, no, I'm not good.
I flushed those motherfuckers down the toilet.
Like, I don't care.
Spit it down the sink.
Why don't we shit protein?
Get the fuck out of my fucking face.
Literally.
Yeah.
Yeah, my face.
Bokki.
I'm out of here.
Speaking of the hockey, when I used to work for this video
Long Beach, there was this one chick there.
Obviously, I'm not going to name her.
But she got on everybody's nerves for the department
I worked for.
And I told one of the guys there, I'm like, dude, if you
all would just run a train on her or fucking like just run
a train on her or Bukki, I swear to God, she would lighten
the fuck up.
So that's all I'm going to say.
I mean, I love you, bestie.
I'm a mean bitch, but I'm a dude, I guess, even though I'm
straight.
So I don't know what to fucking say, but I was just like,
you all just need to run a train on her or Bukki.
And they're like, what the fuck?
And I'm like, just take one for the team.
Come on.
Help me out.
That resting bitch face needs to go.
Right.
It wasn't even resting.
She was just straight up.
See you and tea.
Oh, see you next Tuesday.
That's right.
She was not serving cunt.
She was a straight up fucking cunt.
Jeez, they'll see you next Tuesday, bitches.
I'm like, hey, it's taco Tuesday.
See you next Tuesday.
Pink taco Tuesday, bitch.
Yeah, bitch.
Well, this one's south really fucking quick.
And that's why I fucking love you.
You're going to get some hate mail on that one.
You know, any kind of mail is great.
Yeah, I'm I'm I'm with it.
I need a laugh.
Everybody all uptight and shit.
OK, let's just go.
Let's kind of go there.
Oh, so I was just asked.
Recently about eyebrows and men, men and men doing their eyebrows.
They OK, you know, trimming them, whatever.
And I was asked for my opinion and I, of course, said my legit opinion.
I think that if you have a unibrow, it's all good to separate them.
But just own it.
Like if you have eyebrows, just kind of you can maybe trim them a little.
But don't pluck them and and do all that.
I'm I'm I don't that's not my like for today.
I don't I don't I don't care to like you.
To say if your eyebrows are better than mine,
like get the fuck out of here.
Like then you're not for me.
Like well, you move to Oregon, so that's not the case.
Yeah, they're like, oh, my God, that's so offensive.
Oh, I said you asked me for my fucking opinion.
Thank you very fucking much.
And I'm so tired of talking to some pansy fucks that.
Well, like what do you think?
What do you think?
Like, you know what I think?
I think you you want to know what I really think about a fucking Harry chest.
I think if you have one fucking own it, Austin Powers, like fucking do it.
Like, um, just don't shave it or wax it and act like you can't keep up with it
because all that little spikes is just like fucking legs.
Just chia pet.
I'm not.
Yeah, I'm not trying to put my fucking.
Oh, I'm going to go to sleep and just rest my fucking cheek and get fucking
like rug burn, like fucking.
No, no.
Yeah, it's all fucking.
No, no.
Then keep it up because I am I I shave my legs.
I mean, I will I will fully fucking warn you like, hey, don't cut yourself.
I didn't shave today.
Like, right.
But being under it, I think about that.
Your leg hair is probably like really thick too.
Yeah.
No, it's minimum.
It's what?
It's like minimum.
Like, you know how the other guys can.
Yeah, they can barely like they can barely grow a beard or whatever.
Yeah.
And it's just a little patchy.
OK, that's like with my legs.
I'm just like, like, I don't have to shave my whole leg.
I just shave the patches like this.
It's like, let me guess your sisters aren't like that, right?
Because they take after your mom.
Yeah, no, yeah, they're not.
I mean, maybe my younger sister.
Oh, OK. But not my older sister.
I think that's a little like, I mean, I can.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't want to say too much, but I just think that sometimes it may
like stick out of her like.
Socks or some shit like, I don't know.
OK.
I don't know.
But I mean, but she gets she gets keeps.
Like she gets dude, so doing something right.
I don't know.
Well, good for her. Yeah.
That's that's right. That's right.
OK, speaking of men, Mike Ness showed up on my Instagram feed.
I know you don't have Instagram, but Mike Ness, the singer of Social D.
I love Mike Ness.
No, we all do.
And I'm like, this motherfucker has not aged well.
So I know.
That's what I said, right?
And then I go into his Instagram feed.
This motherfucker is recovering from throat cancer.
That's what I said.
And I'm just like, oh, no wonder he doesn't look well.
He didn't look well in the picture that was on my feet.
And I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
But yeah, he's recovering from throat cancer.
And I was just really sad.
They had to cancel a show or they had to cancel some shows.
God damn it.
So I told him to stop smoking.
Right.
I don't know.
So I was just I was really sad.
I'm like, what the fuck?
So he was my rockabilly lover.
Same. I would go to the car shows.
I'm like, Mike.
Right.
And I don't follow him or Social D on Instagram.
I guess I should.
But Mommy's little monster is 40 years old.
I'm like, fuck, I feel old.
I was just like, I know they're I don't know how much older he is than me.
I'm going to be 50.
So I don't know.
But yeah, I think he's like 56, 57, maybe.
Yeah, I know they I want to say it's 40 years old.
Maybe it's 30 years old, but 40 years old.
I know they've been doing that.
They've been doing this fucking Social D for a long fucking time.
But I was just like, man, I fucking love Mommy's little monster.
Yes. Oh my gosh.
I remember one of my first little jobs in high school was I was a life card.
You were what?
A lifeguard. Where?
Raging waters.
Oh, that is cool.
I was at the Lazy River.
So I mean, honestly, it was like it's three feet.
You could stand up like you're not going to really drown.
But who knows?
But I would sit there and I would just hear Social D.
It was like just story of my life.
And I'm not fucking track.
That's right.
And balling chain.
And and I wasn't even looking for little kids like floating.
I don't know. Like that.
I was the worst.
Like, yeah, I was the worst.
I dare you.
Yeah. Like, oh, my gosh, don't make me get off of the fucking lifeguard tower
to walk into the Lazy River and put your kid back in the tube.
Fucking shit.
Yeah, that was it was a it was a fun job.
But I honestly, I don't know.
All I had to take was a CPR class and I was like right in my mouth on these fucking strangers.
That was before COVID.
Yeah, I was like, oh, yes.
But I wonder if CPR changed now thanks to COVID.
I bet it has.
Probably has.
But thank God, I don't have to think.
I don't know. But they told me, you know, once your CPR certified,
that you can get in trouble for not administering CPR to somebody in need.
And I was like, well, how would they even fucking know?
Right. But then you know what?
There's a new law or like when I took a CPR class, like two or three years ago,
I want to say you have to ask for permission now because I guess there was a
lot of if I'm saying this correctly, like you have to ask,
is it OK if I help you?
Because I guess there was a lawsuit.
If I'm saying this correctly, at least for California,
you have to ask for their fucking permission.
But.
Yeah, they think you know what they used to give me these little like plastic baggies
that you place over their mouth.
Yeah. And you're just like, yeah.
But like, I wasn't trying to save anybody.
I'm sorry, God.
Like. Well, you're a little you didn't have to.
If I if there was a car accident, I'm just fucking squeezing by.
I'm like, I don't care.
They probably are.
Bye. I I I'm late.
Got to get to work.
OK, so this is not I guess not off topic, but you said car accident.
So speaking of cars, my co-worker lives in a zooza.
And I guess it's the south end of a zooza, right?
So he was mentioning that ever since the the gold line, which is the metro,
not the not the metro link, but the metro now runs through a zooza.
And it's been running through a zooza for a while, right?
So ever since the metro started running through there, the crime rate is spiked up.
Anyway, so she's in that area.
So anyways, two weeks ago, her next door neighbor, they called Uber for food.
The Uber driver gets out of his fucking car, leaves his car running, obviously,
to put the food, drop the food on the fucking on the porch.
Yeah. And that fucking time, his car got jacked.
What exactly?
So there was a kid on a I guess it was a kid.
I don't know, there was a guy if I'm I'm assuming it's a guy.
I don't know what his gender was, but she said it was a guy.
He was on a skateboard.
He gets off the skateboard and drives off with the fucking car.
What? L.A.
County in a nutshell is fucked.
So that happened.
And then the following day, the next door neighbor had a new
brought home a new Camaro.
It wasn't a Corvette.
It was the Camaro.
That got jacked, like, within a week.
What they're fucking all getting hit up on that fucking street.
Oh, no. I was just like, OK.
Well, I mean, I like I think I said in one of our previous podcasts
where they're just like stealing, like fucking radiators or or no.
What is that? A converter.
Yeah. I mean, they're like five minutes.
Your shit's gone. Yeah.
And there was one here in L.A.
County where I guess she was taking a nap in our car like me and you do on our lunch.
Yes. But they they she didn't always going on.
So she was sleeping or napping.
They took her cattle.
They were trying to take her catalytic converter.
And I guess they woke her up.
So she ran them over.
I guess I don't think she realized what she was doing, but she ran them over.
Oh, that's fucking great.
Everybody needs to do that.
Fuck, yeah, I hope she didn't get in trouble for that.
I hope not either.
But L.A. County is really fucked up here.
Yeah. Oh, my goodness.
I I was taking a nap speaking of that.
You know how I take I take my naps in my car.
I don't give a shit. I do, too.
Um, I do have one of those little sun visors.
There's no sun, but it's just like I don't need.
I kind of just make it my little fortress like just.
Oh, you mean like the windshield? Yeah.
Yeah, I do that, too, because otherwise it's too bright in the car.
Yeah. And I'm just like, you know, hey, fuck it.
I don't care. And I'm in, you know, Oregon, so it's rainy.
It's cold. I don't give a shit.
But I still put that on because yes, whatever.
Don't look at me while I sleep.
So what's going on? Go ahead. No.
So question when you're in your car, do you have a pillow or do you just like?
How do you take a nap?
Do you do have a pillow?
I do have a pillow and I have two blankets now that it's getting cooler.
So when I work for Long Beach, my supervisor,
he would always take a nap in his car, too. And they're like, Emma,
your supervisor takes a nap in his car, too.
I'm like, yeah, because he's fucking smart.
But here's the thing.
He didn't he never had a pillow or a blanket.
So he tells me one day when he gets back from his nap,
he's like, I had the best nap ever. And I did.
And I tell him I did, too.
He's like, but it was kind of fucking cold in my car.
And I'm like, you don't you don't have a blanket or a pillow in your car.
He's like, no, I'm like, well, maybe you should.
Yeah, no. And then he's like, oh, you know what?
I brought a blanket and he's like, everything's good now.
I'm like, I've been doing this since 19 fucking 99.
So I come prepared like my car is my oasis.
It's my sanctuary away from people on my fucking lunch.
Like I need my me time.
I don't care if it's 15 minutes.
I just need silence and I need to be by myself with my eyes fucking shut.
Yeah, girl, I turn on my car and I put the the feet warmers on.
Get that shit. Oh, hot.
And then I just blast my fucking heater.
OK, like, you know, five minutes because I can't afford the gas.
OK, so speaking of like there's other people that at my old job
that they would not long beach, but another job in the summertime
because it's really hot out here, they would turn their air conditioner
on in the car and just like so they could like take their breaks.
But I guess I'm too cheap to do that.
I just roll all the windows down and I fucking knock out.
And when I wake up because I'm sweating my ass off, that's when I get up
and I and it's not the full 30 minutes.
So it might be 10 minutes, but I'm like, as long as I have 10 minutes
of closed eye with with silence, I'm fucking good.
Yeah, I just do like five minutes, whether it's hot outside or cold or cold.
Yeah, I was just like five minutes and just ask the fuck out of it.
And then I just leave the windows open or up open or closed.
Right. And I'm just and I'm done.
Then I just put my seat all the way back with my pillow.
Get a blanket, girl.
Yeah, I have a blanket. Oh, you do. OK, good.
Yeah. Yeah. And but that's that's the thing, too, because they hear an organ.
They're like, whoa, if it's like snowy and this and that, like, and you get stuck.
You're supposed to have like this emergency kit where.
Oh, that makes sense. Yeah.
You know, a blanket you should have like food. Yeah.
Water. Water. Yeah.
Baby wipes in case you take a shit.
Yeah. Or just find a fucking leaf.
Right. A frozen leaf.
And if you do math, a vial of math.
Yeah. Mine is well.
Yeah, and a syringe. Yeah, exactly.
Some boil. I don't know.
I don't even know what math or how you do math.
I think math is what the summer. No, that's crack.
Well, don't you need just like a dollar bill or something?
I don't know.
That's cocaine, I think.
Oh, can't you sniff meth?
Or do you have to smell?
No, I think meth you inject.
Don't you inject that shit?
I think that's an option.
The foil and the smoking is cocaine and then meth.
I think is injection.
Damn, I need to watch Breaking Bad again.
Yeah, no, I don't think so.
I think you can sniff that shit.
Oh, OK.
And I think you can smoke it.
What's what the fuck is that chasing the dragon
or hitting glass stick?
Isn't that meant?
No, that's cocaine.
I'm sorry. That's crack.
Oh, what the fuck?
I mean, that's I got a dust.
Dust myself off on my phone.
I got myself off on my fucking.
Clearly. Clearly.
I don't know.
We are not drug traffic.
No, yeah, fuck. Guilty.
Innocence. Yeah.
I have no idea.
There's this duct tape to my leg.
Like, I don't know.
Oh, oh, geez.
Oh, but yeah, I'm telling you, girl.
The other day, this is going to go off to another thing.
And I was like a little skeptical to say anything because.
One, I keep telling myself, if somebody approached me
and said this shit, I would fucking either a laugh and be.
Just to say, you crazy, stupid fucking bitch.
Or what not?
But legit, I was driving to work the other day
on the other day.
Probably like a week ago or whatnot.
And it was about five forty three a.m.
OK, and it's like a little two lane highway.
It's really cold, whatever.
But I see some shit in the sky.
And honestly, I just really thought, wow,
like an airplane. I don't fucking know.
I'm not one of those skylookers.
I'm not one of those people that just, oh, it's a meteor shower.
I do get excited if I see a falling star.
I'm like, oh, I should have made a wish.
But it was too late.
It was so fast.
And but this fucking thing that whatever it was in the sky.
It it didn't look like no spaceship or whatever.
I really thought it was a maybe an airplane.
I don't know, maybe some military missile testing.
I don't fucking know.
But when it flew over and it was just so bright.
My headlights turn off.
What? Yes.
And my radio is like, it starts scrambling.
And I see the car in front of me.
And I know there's a car in front of me, but it's it's a ways in front of me.
But I can see their tail lights and their lights are boom off.
And then I know there's a car behind me and they have headlights.
But it's not too close.
It's not like that three car space rule.
I'm there. They're they're behind me.
But I know they're behind me.
I see their headlights, their lights turn off.
My lights turn off.
This fucking thing is flying over the highway.
What the fuck?
Yeah, yeah.
And I was like, what the fuck?
I did get scared.
I mean, I can lie and I don't get scared that easily.
But I was like, holy shit.
Holy fuck, what is this?
The car, the lights turned back on, radio went back on.
It was probably the longest three seconds of my fucking life.
OK, I was just going to ask how long it lasted.
Yeah, it was it was probably about three seconds.
But again, I'm talking about like it was it was the longest three seconds
of my life because I just didn't know what the fuck was happening.
And I didn't know if I should just I mean, my lights are off.
So it's not like I can just pull over and just put on emergency lights.
Like, please, nobody hit me or whatever.
I don't I don't know.
So the lights come back on.
OK. And I'm like, OK, well,
who knows what the fuck that is, but at least it's going to Kelly.
Oh, shit.
So did the car in front of you stop or I don't know because the lights were off.
And OK, they were.
Did you take your get your foot off the gas?
Yes. Oh, OK.
I took my foot off the gas.
I did not break.
And I just took my foot off the gas and it was just like what the fuck just happened.
And it happened so quick like it happened.
And then and then it was back to normal.
And then I saw the the tail lights of the car in front of me.
It was a little bit closer because you can also tell that that person
maybe took their foot off the gas.
And hence, we became a little bit closer in distance.
OK. And I saw their head or their tail lights turn back on
and and their headlights because they're kind of, you know, using their headlights.
And I'm using their headlights to just kind of see if ahead of me.
And then I see the headlights behind me turn back on.
And I get to work and I'm at work about 20 minutes before I have to actually clock in.
And so I'm just in the parking lot and I decide to just like was there like some type of media shower?
What? So did you Google it?
I know. Yeah, I tried to Google it.
And I couldn't find shit.
I couldn't find any. Did you ask it?
Your coworkers or did you tell your coworkers?
I thought that's the thing.
I was skeptical because I just didn't want people thinking.
You know, just like if somebody would say I was abducted or something.
It was like, well, you weren't abducted.
So. But like my lights turned off and there was something in the sky.
Wasn't an airplane. I don't think it was a comet.
I've never actually seen a comet.
So I wouldn't really know.
I mean, I've seen a shooting star, believe it or not.
Off the when I was driving on the 210 freeway, but I did see a shooting star once and that was cool.
Yeah, a shooting star.
I'm just like, oh, look at that little guy just fall out of the sky.
I'm like, yeah.
Right.
But and it kind of comes down like it's going to hit.
I don't know.
Or it's going to just.
What is it?
Like it's going to just burn out before it hits anything or I don't know.
Well, I guess something crazy.
And I was like, I don't know.
And I'm I'm really.
I'm really thinking like, no, I know what the fuck I saw and I know what the fuck happened.
Well, you're not crazy and that shit happens all the fucking time.
So I wish there was some kind of like, I guess,
I guess validation when you search for it online.
Yeah, I validate what you saw.
I'm kind of thinking like, and you know, I don't have Facebook or anything,
but there's a right.
So I did tell one friend who has the Facebook community and stuff
and she's like, girl, I don't see shit like nobody fucking.
Because nobody's awake at that.
Yeah, I was like, yeah, because nobody's fucking awake at fucking five
thirty in the morning driving to work.
Exactly.
And no, and if they are, they're not looking up and who knows?
I don't know.
But it's just like it's been bugging me out like, what the fuck?
What? I don't know.
I need to know. What did I say?
What was it?
I don't know.
I was hoping to wake up with like superpowers or something, you know?
Well, you would need an abduction to happen with you.
Well, if it mess with my car, I mean, maybe some type of like energy.
Oh, that's true.
I don't know.
Damn, well, I don't know.
Be like anybody's listening and you're in Oregon and it happened.
When did you say it happened?
It was about a week and a half ago.
OK, so I guess around things like after Thanksgiving.
Yeah, right after Thanksgiving. Yeah. OK, so actually it was the Friday
fucking after Thanksgiving. Black Friday.
Yep. Because I was so ready.
Going Friday in Independence, Oregon, if you're in that area and you saw
what Pomona Bullets saw around 545 in the morning,
please let us know and validate.
So validate Pomona Bullets because nobody, I guess, is posting about it online.
Nope. Nobody.
Boom. Boom. They're all scourred.
I guess.
Shit. Well, Pomona Bullets is here to speak up.
How about I am? I don't give a shit.
The men in what is it? Men in black.
Yeah, men and black. Men and tubes.
They're coming to me like you don't remember shit.
Boos here. Like you're right. I don't.
I kind of don't. I was actually tired.
Tired of work. Tired of being tired.
Shit.
Yeah. On that note, let's wrap this up.
Do you have any other meeting minutes to address Pomona Bullets?
I'm I'm OK.
But I do want to ask, are you doing Christmas trees or what are you doing?
Because I fucking hate Christmas.
I'm I know what Christmas.
My daughter is 31.
There's no reason to have a fucking Christmas and plus I just fucking over the shit.
I'm I'm over people this year.
So well, I think I'm over people period.
But your mom's not asking, like put up a tree or.
Well, my daughter put one up for her.
I'm not going to put.
Well, yeah, I'm not going to put one up.
I don't I don't want to put a fucking tree there.
No. And my my son told me he's like, mom,
why are you going to put up a tree if there's not going to be any gifts underneath?
Now, I was like, you're right.
Fucking love the way you think you smart little fuck like.
Cancel Christmas in a bit.
Yeah. Grinch mode.
Hashtag Grinch mode.
That's right.
And you know what?
There was the best meme or I guess Instagram post and it said and I'm like,
you know what? That's right.
The Grinch didn't hate Christmas. The Grinch hated people.
And I'm like, thank you very fucking much.
Yeah, I always tell people my heart is was it two inches too small?
Like.
I don't remember.
I'll remember the Grinch.
Yeah, I Grinch is my homie.
That's right.
All right, guys, we are out.
And we will see you next week.
Yes, we will.
All right. All right. Later.