Cocksock.
Fucking cuck.
I can't even fucking say that right.
The Krusty sock.
The ooh.
Yeah, ooh.
Smelly sock.
It smells like bleach from this bitch.
Welcome to our podcast.
Brand new.
Good evening, bitch.
Good evening, Bestie.
Oh, it's been a minute.
So I haven't had any alcohol since our last episode, which was like two Sundays ago.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So I just poured a double or maybe a double and a half vodka in my crystal light fruit
punch.
So it might be interesting tonight.
I don't know.
Nice.
I am so glad I have the next, I guess, four days off.
I know you have to work Friday.
I hope you have Saturday off.
Oh, no, I work Saturday too.
But I have Sunday off.
Okay.
But you're back to your regular schedule though, right?
Yeah.
Oh, thank God.
I know.
It's just been a nightmare.
And I'm assuming your company has Black Friday specials going on all day.
God, yes.
Okay.
I don't understand.
It's been like, I have the Walmart app and it keeps like updating me with new Black Friday
specials.
I'm like, bitch, you've been doing this for the last two weeks.
I'm like, tomorrow's, not even tomorrow's Black Friday.
Stop texting me.
I'm not going to your store.
No, there's over it.
There's some stores over here that they've been fucking doing Black Friday since Tuesday.
Well, that's better than down here.
They've been doing it for like the last two and a half weeks.
Like I swear after Halloween, it started up with Black Friday already.
I'm like, what the actual fuck?
Oh my God.
So question with Christmas shopping.
If you buy your Christmas presents early to give out, that's what I always do.
Do you give them out right away or do you actually wait till Christmas time?
I wait.
Oh God, you're so great.
I already sent yours out so open it.
It's supposed to arrive on Friday.
The size small is for G unit.
The other stuff is for you.
Oh shit.
And I gave em hers and then I gave my coworkers theirs that are like, what the fuck?
I'm like, I'm not this hyper first.
I'm like, who gives a fuck about Christmas?
I'm like, here, Merry Christmas a month early, whatever.
Need the shit out of my car.
God damn it.
Oh no.
Well, that's good though.
Just getting it over with.
Yes.
So yours arrives by, it's in an Amazon box, but it arrives via USPS.
So it says it's Friday.
No, sweet.
Just so you're aware.
You'll be like, what did I order from Amazon?
It's not from Amazon, it's from me.
You're a Merry Mother fucking Christmas.
Right.
And I was too lazy to write anything or put a fucking card in there.
So whatever.
I'm telling you now, Merry Christmas bitch.
Well, thank you.
You're welcome.
I do the same shit with my kids though.
If I buy Amazon shit for them for Christmas, I don't even take them out of the box.
I fucking wrap it.
It looks all like symmetrical and shit under the tree.
It's all Amazon boxes.
Right.
I'm the type of person that I don't even wrap it.
Like if it comes in the Amazon box, I just hand the box over.
I'm like, here, happy birthday.
I'm like, what, I don't understand the thing about wrapping, which is cool, but I mean,
the wrapping paper goes in the trash, so what's the fucking point?
And I'm wasting my time and I suck at wrapping.
So God, yeah, right?
It's such a fucking mess after two.
Yeah.
And like the kids don't, they don't throw that shit away.
They just leave all the wrapping paper on the floor and it's just another job that we
have to clean up.
Yeah, exactly.
Now thank you.
God damn.
I know.
Shit.
So, you know, my fucking neighbor, right?
Oh, is he putting Santa Claus hats on the Halloween decor?
Yes.
Yeah.
You know how he's decorating this stupid Halloween shit?
I don't know.
I fucking knew that he was not going to take down the fucking skeleton, that large ass
skeleton that I showed you a picture of.
Yes.
He, of course, he didn't take it down.
And I come home from work the other day and the fucking skeleton has a bag, like a Santa
type bag.
Oh, God.
And a Santa hat on.
And, okay.
I was like, okay, yeah, this, this fucking skeleton is not coming down.
Well, hopefully it'll be really windy, like to wear it like gets blown away.
Like to the next town over, not to your yard.
I know.
I swear.
So fucking.
Oh, it just pisses me off.
Yeah.
It's, I would totally be with you on that.
I'm just like, what the fuck?
Oh, such a fucking asshole.
I never thought I would be one of those people that have like a fucked up neighbor.
Yeah.
Right.
And then you can't do anything about it.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like, geez.
So stupid.
Yeah.
And then like I said, like, and then on the other side, my other neighbor, everybody has
like all their fucking Christmas lights on.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
I'm just like, oh my gosh, my son goes outside of the trash.
He's like, mom, I hear Christmas music playing from the, oh God.
It's like, can we just fucking have Thanksgiving first?
Right.
Oh, such a, I'm such like a bomb, but I don't fucking know.
I'm not feeling it this year.
Actually, I never, I, I'm not.
Do you do with a Christmas tree and all that or?
I do, but now that like Junits gone and right, I mean, I guess I should still do it for my
son, but I don't know.
But you're, um, the dog doesn't knock it down because you have a big dog.
Nope.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
She's scared of it.
You know how she's.
Oh.
She's the dumbest dog ever.
Oh, she's a cutie.
Don't I know.
Gina, it's dog.
I was telling you that I'm like, I'm getting rid of her.
She's like, you can't watch me.
Right.
It's like, nobody's taking care of her anymore since you're not here.
Exactly.
I'm like, I'm not picking up dog shit.
Yeah.
I can imagine.
Oh God, because your dog is big.
So that's like big poop.
Yeah.
Like you literally have to use a shovel.
Right.
Yeah.
So I'm like, oh, hard pass.
Yep.
For sure.
Okay.
So, um, we do a podcast, but I've been listening to the Thiel Vaughn podcast, which I know
you've been listening or I guess I'm late on the Thiel Vaughn, this past weekend's podcast.
Did you listen to the one where, um, last week he had Dana White on there?
No.
Okay.
And I'm like, I can't, I'm the, I don't know.
I'm not really a fan of Dana White.
She's a big douchebag or whatever, but he finally got his shit together.
I guess I don't know.
He lost some weight.
I don't know what's going on, but I guess I have a new self-respect for him because I
just thought he was a total dickbag.
He doesn't pay the women UFC fighters the way they should be paid as opposed to the men
fighters, you know?
Yeah.
And then he holds the contracts over the fucking Diaz brothers.
That type of shit pisses me off.
Yeah.
But he was on the Thiel Vaughn podcast and I guess Thiel Vaughn had Robert Kennedy, Robert
F. Kennedy Jr. who's running for presidency, I guess whenever, I think it's next year.
Oh shit.
So he had him on the podcast prior to, and so Theo is telling Dana White that, um, so
I guess they aired the podcast and one of the sponsors for Thiel Vaughn is, um, Peloton.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So the Peloton, um, the Peloton podcast, the Peloton CEO calls up Thiel Vaughn, or I don't
know if he called him up personally, but his people and says, you need to take that Robert
Kennedy podcast down.
We do not stand for that or we don't align with him or whatever or, um, we will pull our
sponsorship.
So Theo Vaughn is telling Dana White this and Dana White's like, wait, who?
Who is the CEO of fucking Peloton?
So they pull it up.
They fuck that douchebag.
So he goes on this fucking tirade.
It's fucking hilarious, but I'm, I love how Dana White just doesn't give a fuck and like
he'll do whatever the fuck he wants regardless.
If you're, if you're going to pull sponsorship or whatever from the UFC, fucking pull it,
right?
Yeah.
So, um, that's how he is.
So he fucking calls up all the, all right, one of the UFC people, I guess the main gym
and he's like, Hey, do we have Peloton bikes in our fucking gym?
He's like, yeah, he's like, take them all out.
He went on a fucking tirade.
So I'm like, I wonder, I haven't looked, but I'm like, I'm assuming Peloton stock took
a hit.
Yeah, for sure.
And I'm assuming, um, I haven't listened to any more Theo, Theo Vaughn podcast since
last week, but, um, I'm assuming he kept, he just kept the, um, um, the Robert Kennedy
Jr. podcast up because I mean, he fucking recorded it.
Yeah.
So I'm like, why would you pull it down for a fucking sponsor?
Like, you know, Theo Vaughn makes more money than what, whatever, right?
It's not like he's like brand new, but I thought that was hilarious.
I can't fucking hear that one.
I haven't heard it yet.
Okay.
I'll send you the link or whatever.
I'm sure it's on YouTube, YouTube, just like the, the part where Dana White is fucking
going off and calling out this guy and he's like, pull him up.
I want to see what he actually looks like.
Yeah.
Fucking nails this guy to a cross.
Oh shit.
Fuck, go Dana.
Yeah.
And then the other podcast I listened to last week was fucking, um, Joe Rogan had the rock
on and I fucking love Joe Rogan.
I love the rock, but it was the most boring fucking interview, I guess podcast ever.
No.
Love.
Really?
Yes.
I guess, you know how the, um, after the Maui fires, the rock and Oprah, I guess, banded
up together.
I don't know, they were running a charity, um, for people to donate money for Maui and
then everybody like just fucking like back or not backstab them.
Everybody just like, I want to say canceled culture.
I don't know what the proper term is, but every, all the like the regular people like
me and you got angry at Oprah and fucking Dwayne the rock Johnson.
Like how much money do you fucking make?
Hey, like you're asking me to fucking donate.
Like you fucking donate.
Yeah.
I'm like, you guys are fucking dumb.
So I don't know.
I guess I don't know if it was because of that, but the answers that came out of his mouth
were like, yeah, okay, like it was typical bullshit.
I'm like, why are you leaving on the fucking podcast?
No, you're just going to be like all like laying over and shit.
He did talk about, um, I guess his upbringing, uh, guess with his dad as the wrestler, but
everything else.
I'm like, this is fucking boring.
Oh, not the backbone dude.
I guess I don't know if he's trying to just like be nice because everybody was pissed
off at him and Oprah.
Yeah.
Watch what he says or actually not even say anything.
Yeah.
That's what is basically was just like agreeing to, um, whatever I guess Joe Rogan said.
So I'm like, okay.
Yeah.
What a pussy.
I would have never thought that from the rock, but yeah, he's a fucking pussy.
Shit.
He's getting old.
Yeah.
I guess right.
He has mouth to feed.
He's like, I don't want to lose any of my sponsors.
Right.
God damn.
Okay.
So I guess back to black Friday.
I'm curious.
Is your place already crazy?
Uh, no, actually you guys run pre black Friday specials like Walmart's been doing.
I don't believe so.
I know that's yeah.
Friday it's going to be big.
Like we have a bunch of appliances on fucking sale and shit.
Oh, do you have to get there super early?
Yeah.
They want me there at five and I'm like, what the fuck would I have to be there at five?
But what time do you open on black Friday or normal?
I think we opened the doors at eight.
Oh, okay.
Good.
God.
Okay.
Well, um, I guess you have to work overtime or are you just like leaving early?
No, they're five to three.
But um, okay.
And I work in my office and I do like payroll, but they said that I was going to be out on
the floor.
He was like, oh, fuck doing what?
To help the customer.
I guess so.
And I guess like we're serving like hot cocoa and shit like that.
And I guess I got to like fucking assist with that.
Oh, well, hopefully that's the only thing you got to do that.
Yeah, I sure hope so because I don't you want cocoa bitch?
Yeah.
I don't know.
If somebody asked me like, excuse me, where's the fucking appliance department?
I'm like, I don't fucking know.
Right.
I don't know.
Just look, just keep walking down the aisles till you see it listed on the placard.
I don't know.
I just work here.
Shit.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
I thought I was going to have to buy a dishwasher too.
So I was like, I'm going to wait.
Oh, yeah, what happened to your dishwasher?
They fixed it.
Okay.
But like apparently because my kids are that's their tour.
Dishes is their tour.
Like I don't.
Right.
I don't do the dishes.
I mean, I might if it's like my coffee cup or some shit like that, but I don't do the
dishes.
That's their tour.
And apparently my kids must think, have you ever seen?
I think it's like, what a dish soap is.
It's like a detergent for the dishwasher.
And they act like you could put a whole cake in the fucking dishwasher and like the cake's
gone and the pan is like all fucking clean.
Right.
Okay.
Well, I think my kids fucking honestly believe that shit and they just put dishes full of
fucking food.
So apparently it just like fucking clogged up the.
Oh, that's why.
Oh, so they just had to clear the clear the clog.
Yeah, exactly.
185 fucking dollars later.
Okay.
Well, at least it wasn't I guess anything major because I was thinking it was like you'd
have to get a pipe replaced.
Oh, so did I.
I mean, I was expecting the fucking worse, but right.
Thank goodness.
It was just that name's like, I'm so glad right before fucking things came in and got
fixed because I was not going to cook if that bitch wasn't right.
Oh, so you're cooking.
Yeah.
What are you cooking?
Oh shit.
I'm cooking like for an army, a turkey, a ham, stuff.
Yeah.
I know what I know.
But the thing is I was actually just going to cook a little ham that I bought like a
little spiral ham.
Right.
And I was like, oh, just make like some stuffing, maybe some mashed potatoes and like green
beans, whatever.
And I go to the fucking counter at the grocery store or the checkout line and they tell me
my total and the ladies like, are you going to want your free turkey?
And I said, free turkey.
She said, yeah, have you spent over a hundred dollars to get a free fucking turkey?
And I was like, well, fuck yeah, I'm going to fucking get a turkey.
It's free.
Right.
So, uh, G unit and I rent to the frozen turkeys because it has to be a frozen one and we're
okay in the frozen bin and G units like what size do I go something fucking small like
which maybe or else or something like, I don't know.
It's just like small turkey I can find is 16 pounds.
I was like, holy bitch.
Yes.
No, we have 16 fucking pound turkey.
I'm like, okay, I guess it's fucking turkey for the rest of the fucking year.
Bring that shit to your work on and then serve it with hot cocoa.
I got something to dip that hot cocoa in.
Yeah.
Damn.
Okay.
Yeah.
I don't even know how to make a turkey.
I mean, I know you have to put it in the fucking oven.
You have to, my mom always threw the thermos or that thermometer that you, you know, I'm
talking about that.
I don't know.
I call it, it's not the baster, but she obviously have to go by the internal temperature.
It's just right.
Yes.
Well, I always go off that little button like that little like that, you know, a little
button that's in the turkeys and it pops out when it's done.
Oh, I, yeah, I've seen that.
Okay.
I just, okay.
And it always comes out normal.
Yeah.
It's good or not burnt or not burnt, but dry or whatever.
Yeah.
It comes out pretty good.
I mean, I inject it with a shit ton of butter.
Of course.
Well, girl, butter is my best fucking friend.
We don't do margarine in this fucking house or spread country crock or, or whatever, imperial
margarine.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I need full, I need that butter stick.
Oh yeah.
For sure.
And it makes the best gravy when you put all the real truth, truth, truth.
I know.
I really, I'm trying to, I'm trying to like lose a couple pounds though.
So I don't know.
I don't, I'm going to send you a bunch of fucking food out to the dorm.
Yeah.
I was under home with a bunch of food like here you go.
How's she liking the, I haven't talked to her obviously, which is good, I guess, because
you're the mom, but she's doing good, I guess, in school.
And then I guess she's well adjusted now with the dorm life and.
Oh yeah.
Like, I, okay, that's good.
I hardly hear from her, but.
Or excuse the unit.
I'm just like, okay, but they can't, I guess the college kids are instructed to leave the
dorms during the holidays.
I was wondering if they all are sent them home or whatever.
Yeah, they do, but you can stay if you really have to, but they charge you.
Oh my God.
Yeah, they fucking charge you.
What the fuck?
I mean, you might as well go stay at a fucking hotel.
I don't know.
It's probably cheaper.
Yeah.
So it's like, and I told you, I'm like, why the fuck do they charge you?
You're already paying tuition and all that shit.
And she's like, oh, because the, the faculty is not going to be there.
Like nobody's going to be there.
Like the kitchens are closed, like everything.
So I go to like charge you, but.
And I still got to make my own food and you're not going to give me food.
Okay, got it.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Exactly.
I was like, that's why I never went to fucking college.
Okay, so she's just on Thanksgiving break until Sunday, right?
It's not like, okay, well, that's good.
Yeah, that's good.
Yup.
So I have her till Sunday.
Okay.
Well, that's good.
And I'm sure Janie's probably happy the pup.
Oh, oh yeah.
Yeah.
She's not even leaving her side.
I was like, good, because Janie's like so needy.
She's now, she's out of my hair.
So good.
Good.
Okay.
So I have a question.
So I went to Hawaii last week or Maui, as you know.
Yes.
So I, when you lived there because it brought back memories because there was cocks everywhere.
I'm like, I told my, I told my daughter, I'm like, I'm surrounded by cocks.
She's like, what are you talking about?
And I sent her the pictures.
Like there's just cocks.
There's roosters walking around there.
And I didn't realize they crowed all night long.
They do.
Yes.
Which is great.
Whatever.
I got used to it.
I'm like, this is actually peaceful.
So, um, I know you lived in Hawaii, um, when you were younger, I went to the Philippines.
My first time in the Philippines was when I was four years old.
It was the same setup, like right with the roosters and the chickens, like fucking everywhere.
Yeah.
I remember, um, and I wasn't really traumatized, but I remember I thought it was, I didn't
think it was cool, but I was just like, Oh, okay.
My, uh, my, my Lolo, my grandpa, um, he beheaded a chicken because we were going to have chicken
that night.
So he beheaded a chicken and like, I just watched like the bloodscorched everywhere.
And then the chicken was like, obviously running around without its head on.
And I thought it was the craziest fucking thing ever.
So I'm just like, okay, I didn't gross out.
I didn't cry or whatever, but I'm like, I didn't remember that until I was in Maui last
week.
So I'm like, I'm like, I need to ask Sophia.
I'm like, I need to ask Pomona bullets.
Did, did they do that when you were growing up?
Oh yeah.
Okay.
That's what I thought because you're like, I know you're younger than me, but not by that
much.
I want to say by six or seven years.
So I mean, that's, I just, just thought I was just like, Oh, I'm like, why are they fucking
doing that now?
But I'm like, just like, okay, well that's cool.
But I just, I thought it was the coolest thing that I'm like, I guess we're having fresh
chicken tonight.
Yeah.
Yeah, they, they, they did that.
Okay.
Yep.
Even with pigs too.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Same with my fuck.
So I went to the Philippines when I was four and then the second time was when my grandparents,
that was their 50th anniversary.
So I was in junior high and the junior high was when my brother and my cousin Joey, they,
they were in the inhumane way, but they just had to keep stabbing a pig until it fucking
died so that they could roast it for the, for the anniversary meal.
Yeah.
I was just like, Oh my God, it was sad, but that's what they do in the Philippines.
So they did the same thing in Hawaii.
Okay.
Well, good to know.
Yeah.
Except they don't keep stabbing it.
They get like the big ass fucking knife and undo it.
They lift up the head and then you just do the throat and then they collect like the
blood.
Yeah.
Why, why did they do that?
Because my grandpa did that with the chicken and then I was just like, what the fuck is
going on?
Yeah.
Cause like they cook with this.
Like, yes, that wasn't a big pot.
Yeah.
And they would steer it.
I'm like, are we fucking eating this?
Cause I'm not fucking eating it.
I was four years old, but I'm like, I'm not fucking touching that shit.
Like, isn't that Mongolian beef anyway?
Yeah.
Just like, what the fuck?
I'm like, are we having a sale?
Yeah.
Okay.
So same upbringing.
I'm like, I wonder if me and Sophia had the same upbringing.
So it's so cool that you, I guess got shipped to Hawaii.
Yeah.
But we have like similar.
Yeah.
Right.
We had similar upbringings, but it's so fucking crazy that, so here's my thing.
When I was in Maui, I was just like, there's fucking roosters fucking everywhere.
Right.
And I'm just like, they know not to be like on the fucking main street where they would
get run over.
You don't see like roadkill of roosters or chickens or little baby, baby, baby chicks.
Yeah.
I guess there's no roadkill.
But if this was in California or in fucking United States, there would be, cause there's
roadkill all the time and fucking over here.
There's fucking raccoons or skunks.
There is, there's no roadkill over there.
Which is so, I was just like, what the fuck?
And I'm just like, this is like the roosters and the hens.
They're the equivalent of the coyotes out here.
And obviously there's no coyotes or wolves.
Right.
Fucking in Maui or whatever, because there would be no fucking hens and roosters fucking
right.
It was just like night and day.
I was just like, God damn.
Yeah.
And that was the first time I was, I've been on Maui, right?
So I've only been to the main island, which is Oahu, I want to say, where Honolulu is.
And there was none of that where we stayed at.
And that was over 20 years ago when I took my M. But it was just like normal, like SoCal,
I want to say.
But there was no, I was just like, I was expecting to see ABC stores.
There was no ABC stores.
It was like definitely not touristy.
So I'm like, okay.
I'm good.
I'm like, like a local here, I guess not a local, I guess, as opposed to being on Oahu
where it's all just fucking like the main tourists and shit.
Yeah.
So I was just like, oh, okay, this is cool.
Nice.
I like it.
Yeah.
So I liked it a lot better than I guess the main island.
So I'm glad I didn't cancel.
Nice.
How was the weather?
Oh, God, it fucking rained every day until Thursday.
And then I don't know if I sent you the picture.
I think I'll send you the picture if I did, but I'm like, I put it on my Instagram.
I'm like, this is my, I'm like unedited for the first time.
It was just so, it was very, it was not Monsoonie, but it would be off and on raining Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday.
Yeah.
So then I came home on Friday and Friday was a nightmare.
I don't know.
I got, I landed at 930.
And then like my driver, he didn't get there till like 1130 because there was so much traffic.
I guess like people were leaving for Thanksgiving fucking already on Friday night the week before.
Shit.
Yeah.
So he, he's like the tunnel, I guess the tunnel coming into LAX.
It was all fucking backed up.
And I was so angry.
I was just so fucking tired.
I got angry and I complained.
I guess my daughter's like, you need to fucking complain.
I complained, but I didn't complain.
I was, and then when we went back, I saw the tunnel back up and I'm like, too, and I'm
so fucking sorry.
I didn't mean to.
But that's my thing is I'm like, can you just fucking call me?
You have my cell phone number.
I kept texting him and I guess, you know, he was, he doesn't want to text back or call
me because he's in traffic or driving, right?
Which is understandable.
So I had to call the main line.
But, and then I tip him and he's like, I don't want you to tip because I was late.
I'm like, just take my tip.
I am so sorry.
I complained.
I just like, just fucking keep me up to date.
Like, oh, I told you earlier, I'm like six o'clock, five 45, six o'clock, six 20.
I'll dial in for our fucking podcast.
Just give me a fucking status update.
Yeah.
Don't fucking go MIA.
Oh, shit.
And then if you know, fucking the trap, I mean, come on.
Doesn't get when you use like fucking your GPS, it fucking shows you that it's not fucking
jammed.
But I guess it didn't do that for, and then I was going to, I was going to like hit Uber
because Uber's just sitting there waiting for rides, right?
Like there's Uber people that just wait there.
Yeah.
Uber wanted $265 before tips to drive me home.
And I'm like, oh, I'm so glad I have a private shuttle that is taking me home for 80 fucking
dollars.
I'm like, who the fuck does that?
God damn.
So I was just like, I will wait for my ride.
I mean, I mean, if I was that fucking tired or whatever, I would have taken the Uber,
but whatever.
So.
But I'm so glad you were exposed to having chickens like, like properly slaughtered for
dinner.
Oh yeah.
Because people will do like, what the fuck are you doing?
I'm like, that's what we did.
I guess in the Philippines, that's how they fucking eat.
They don't go to the grocery store.
They have the fucking chickens running around and that's what they fucking do.
Yep.
And it's delicious.
Right.
And I'm so glad there was no mosquitoes out there.
Fuck with the weather.
So nice.
Oh yeah.
You did send me a picture of like a rainbow.
Yeah.
The rainbows were everywhere because it was raining all the fucking time.
I'm like, oh, maybe I should chase the rainbow and see if there's a pot of gold at the end.
Yeah, no shit.
God damn it.
What did you end up eating there?
It's like, oh my God.
Everybody was just like, so I stayed at a hostel.
I didn't stay at a hotel.
So I went to the local market, which was like 30 steps away from the hostel.
I picked up a, for breakfast, I would always cook my eggs in butter.
And this fucking place had their own, it was Takamia Market.
So Takamia Market is a family market.
They had their own fucking poke.
Oh my God, they're salted ahi poke.
I ate one pound on Monday when I got there.
And then Tuesday, I ate one pound again.
I talked to my CLB supervisor, City of Long Beach supervisor.
He's retired.
And I'm like, because he went to, is it Kauai?
Kauai.
Yeah, sorry.
He went to Kauai the week before and he's like, so how much poke have you eaten?
I'm like, I've eaten two pounds and I've seriously overdosed.
I'm only on day two.
He's like, ah, just let it pass.
He's like, just start eating it tomorrow night instead of tomorrow morning.
But the poke was fresh, this fucking family market, I have never had fresh fucking, do
you like chicharrones?
Yeah.
Oh my God, girl.
They had their own family.
I've never had fresh chicharrones.
I'm like, this fucking Frito Lay's bullshit that's out here in California.
Yeah, it's fucking trash.
It's like your fucking star foam or some shit.
Yeah.
They're fucking, I'm like, I could just eat that all day long.
So that was my most cherished thing next to poke.
Yum.
You didn't get no like a huli huli chicken.
No, no, chicken katsu.
That's what everybody's asking me.
And I was like, no, I can eat that here.
I mean, it's authentic over there, right?
But I would just rather have the fresh poke.
Yeah.
And then I didn't even get the sushi because I just want, I just want the fucking fish.
Yeah.
I'm the fucking pork rinds.
I'm like, dude, can I fucking order this and have it shipped?
You didn't get no shaved ice.
No, I didn't because that's not my thing.
And then for some reason, like, I, like you're like, when I talked to, I talked it, I talked
to you, I guess that one time you're, you're like, what the fuck?
I'm like, I'm not even drinking out here.
Yeah.
I was like, oh my God, are you okay?
Yeah.
And I was just like, no, I didn't want to drink.
I mean, I wanted to drink, but then I was just like, no, I'm not feeling it.
My TSA balls remained full of vodka.
So, um, and then I found a cigar lounge and I was going to go there, but I'm like, if
I do that, then my body's going to be out of whack.
I'd be better off drinking.
I just want to, I just enjoyed the fucking silence and the peace without being at home
with my, with everybody in my face.
And then it was really good.
Everybody was, I treated it was like it was locked down.
Like when we were in question.
So when there was, cause you're in Oregon and we, when we had that quarantine or the
lockdown because of fucking COVID, did you guys have two lockdowns or you only had one
lockdown because California had one and then they opened everything up for about a fucking
month and then we went back into lockdown.
Number two, um, we only had one.
Okay.
Yeah.
We had two here.
Oh, so, um, yeah.
So I treated it like it was locked down and I don't know about you, but, um, when, when
I had, or when I guess I was, when I had to be in these two lockdowns, that's when I had
the best time of my life because I didn't have to deal with people on my fucking face.
So that's how I treated my fucking, the only people I interacted with, interacted with in
Hawaii or Maui was, uh, at the coffee shop.
And by the way, I fucking understand island time, but you guys need to fucking open your
shit up like earlier than fucking eight AM.
Like I need coffee and eight AM now or a Maui time is 10 AM fucking California time.
So I was just like, I'm fucking dying.
I found one coffee shop was like seven or was like almost a mile away that I would walk
to just at six AM.
I'm just like, I need my fucking coffee now, but everything else opened up late and I'm
like, okay, I get it.
Whatever.
And then they would close by four and I'm like, how are you guys even making money?
You guys open like at eight and you close or I guess between eight and 10 that they open
and they close at four.
I'm like, okay, whatever.
Good for you guys.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
Yup.
For sure.
That's why for you when they, when they legit say I'm on Hawaiian time, like, exactly.
You just don't give a fuck.
Like, like time doesn't fucking exist.
It doesn't.
It's so crazy.
And then like every, I had three people ask me to like, did you do any tours?
Like, um, like, I guess to the volcano or do the hikes and the monobots.
I really wanted to do it, but like the timeframe, it said it was a 10 hour, like for the hike
or whatever or wherever you're going to go is for 10 hours.
And I'm like, 10 hours is a long fucking time when you're with people you don't know and
you're on the same fucking tour.
And I'm like, I came to Maui to be away from people.
So I did my own fucking thing.
Nice.
Yeah.
So I just Ubered everywhere, but, um, yeah.
Well, at least it got out, got away.
Thank God.
I needed a break.
So, but enough about me.
I'm sorry.
No, I wanted to hear about your trip.
We were saving it for the podcast anyways.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, there you have it.
I just really wish we could have roosters and chickens running around here all day long
in California, but we can't because we have all the other fucking vermin like coyotes
and bobcats in my area at least and rattlesnakes.
Oh, I wish we could.
Oh, well here in Oregon, there's, there's, you'll, you'll catch a chicken or a rooster.
A nutria.
Yeah.
The nutria will probably eat the fucking shit.
Damn.
Fucking nutrias.
But there's a fucking shit ton of deer.
God.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'm sure they have, yeah, they have deer season up there where you can go hunting
for them.
Yeah.
And you can go hunting for them, but you could only, you do have to get a permit.
Right.
And you can't shoot any female unless you get a doe tag, but that's like a random drawing.
Like you're lucky if you get picked.
So how do you know if the, if the doe or the deer or the male deer are off in the distance,
how can you tell the difference?
Or you probably wouldn't know.
They have antlers or whatever because the, the antlers are the male.
Oh, see, I didn't fucking know that.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
And the fucking, the law here changed like, cause so many fucking deer get hit by cars
and shit that you can now like pick up the carcass and like haul it home and eat.
Yeah, because that's the less work for the city.
Yeah.
I was like, but, but everyone's telling me, well, if you do that, the meat tastes gross
because like the muscles are like, oh, they get all tight.
Yeah.
Or like, I mean, from the impact.
So like it, I don't know, it doesn't taste the same or I don't know.
I'm not a real big like venison or whatever it's called.
Oh, okay.
I mean, I'll eat some if somebody makes it.
But it's not like I would go out of my way to go and find some.
When I was growing up, there was a neighbor that I guess they went, would always go to
I want to say Colorado to hunt and they would always give us the elk steaks.
I like the elk or I guess elk deer or whatever.
But I guess one time they like, they were doing lamb.
I've, have you had lamb?
I'm not a fan of lamb.
That's, I guess the proper term is gamey.
Oh, that was way too gamey for me.
Yeah, I've had lamb at this Indian restaurant.
It was okay.
But I mean, but it was mixed with like some type of rice.
Oh, okay.
I had mine with, I guess just without rice.
I guess I don't know how they served it, but I'm like, oh yeah, I can't do, I'll do
deer all day long.
I cannot do lamb.
Oh, is it not a fan?
Like a lamb chop or something?
Or what did you, I don't remember.
I don't remember what, what it was.
It was like maybe 30 years ago, but it was probably, yeah, maybe it was a lamb chop.
I don't remember.
It just like, I tasted it off somebody's plate cause I, it just, I knew I wasn't going to
like it and I was totally right.
Yeah.
I've had like, was it rack a lamb?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't care for it either.
I don't know if it was the way it was prepared or it's just like you said, it's just like
gamey.
Right.
I didn't like it.
The only lamb that I kind of could stomach was like I said at the Indian restaurant that
I went to and it was like, it was like ground lamb.
It's kind of like ground beef, but.
Oh, okay.
So it probably would taste better.
I guess with the seasoning.
Yeah.
I would suppose for lamb chop.
Yep.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Like, I don't know.
I don't like that fancy.
I don't.
Right.
Or caviar.
Fuck caviar.
I won't even eat caviar either.
Fuck that.
I've had caviar, so caviar is actually, I guess I got used to it.
So I liked it.
You get the lip like the, I guess you know how there's different caviar.
Yeah.
I don't, I've never had the high end one.
I'm sure that tastes really fucking good, but I've had like, I don't want to say low
end, but the whatever one that Darcy got is fucking good.
So I'm like, okay, I could eat this because it's just extra salty.
So I like, but you know, if you don't like salt, like some people like sweets or I'm
the type of person like salt.
So I mean, I like sardines.
You know what's so weird is I'm not a fan of sardines.
My mom fucking loves sardines.
I do too.
Like put on a fucking cracker.
You know what?
I should try that.
I've never tried that that way.
My mom eats it that way.
And I'm just like, but you know what?
You guys are both Islanders.
Yeah.
I get good.
Somebody, my hairstylist, when I are my hair guy, I'm when I was getting my roots done
last week.
And I told him, I went to Maui's like, so did you have spam as well?
I'm like, bitch, I'm fucking half Phillip.
Like, why would I fucking ask for spam as Sube?
I'm like, that's just fucking normal for me.
So yeah, I had that for breakfast.
Right.
And I'm like, fuck no.
I'm like, I'm over spam.
Spam is fucking expensive now.
I'm like, what happened?
It used to be, it used to be under fucking three dollars.
I want to say it's almost four dollars now when I went to Walmart.
I'm like, well, I'm glad I don't feel like buying spam or eating spam right now.
I'm like, what the fuck since when exactly?
I should.
I do like spam as Sube though.
I haven't had.
Oh, actually I'm lying.
I had that like two weeks ago.
It's just the use for you.
Yeah.
Oh, damn.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm so freaking exhausted.
And it's not, I'm just glad that we can both.
I'm, I gotta remember to turn my alarm off because I'm sure it's going to go off.
I have to look because I don't want my alarm clock to wake me up tomorrow.
Oh yeah.
Well, shit.
I probably should get up and put that fucking 16 pound turkey in the oven.
Who knows how long that's going to fucking take to cook.
That's going to take a while girl.
You might want to put that in before you go to bed.
That's what I'm talking about.
Right.
And then by the time you wake up, it'll probably be ready for like, if I can breakfast, thanks
game for breakfast.
Yeah, exactly.
Shit.
Yeah, that's going to take a long time.
How's the weather up there?
It hasn't, is it like, I know it's got to be cold already.
It's fucking cold.
Guys, but it's cold.
So how often I guess, I guess, I don't know, do you get a lot of snow?
Last year we got a shit ton.
So you got to like shovel, you got to shovel all that shit or you get Jay to do it.
Yeah, I get Jay to do it.
Like, fuck, oh god damn.
I know.
And then only, you know, how it's such a small ass town.
So they only plow the main streets so they don't come into the neighborhoods with the
Oh damn.
Yeah.
So it's just like, fuck.
It's crazy.
Well, I'm glad you have four wheel drive.
Yeah.
No shit.
We're fucking crazy.
I hate driving in the fucking snow.
Yeah, that would that is not fun at all.
And then just having to fucking shovel.
Shit.
I know.
That's the worst and then it's just like, I don't know.
I mean, I guess I rather drive in fucking snow than ice.
Fucking ice is worse.
We have like, we have freezing like, or it's called like black rain.
Black ice.
Yeah.
That shit fucking when that's scary.
Sure is.
Like, it doesn't even matter if you have four wheel drive, you're fucking your ass ain't
stopping.
Right.
Fucking ice skating down the fray.
Shit.
It's like it's crazy.
I'm not a big fucking cold person.
Like I I mean, don't get me wrong.
I would like go snowboarding.
But it's like, you know, two hours and I'm like, I'm going back home.
Right.
Where where there's no snow.
Yeah.
But here, fuck that.
It's like, there's no like, yeah, it's not like Kelly where you just drive like the
mountain goes snow.
Exactly.
And then the fucking power goes out and you told me that and that's just.
Wow.
Yeah.
And cold.
Yeah.
It was like 31 degrees this morning.
Okay.
Well, I like it at 40 is like the minimum.
So that's really cool.
Well, yeah, because then you have to like de-ice your windshield.
Right.
Yes.
Oh, God damn.
I know.
And I'm just thankful that my car can start like from the little kiosk thing that I had
like, yeah.
So you don't have to go out to start your fucking car.
Yeah.
Fuck that.
But it sucks when you're fucking windshields all frozen and right.
Yeah.
Like you got to ice off.
But I like the second thing where you put it over your your windshield.
I've seen that.
Yeah.
And then so that actually works then.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Thank God.
Or else like fuck that.
You're starting your car for like fucking hour.
Right.
Just praying for it to fucking defrost so you could see.
Yeah.
I don't know.
But they said we shouldn't be expecting like snow, snow probably until like this January
or in February.
Oh, good.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
I think we did have snow last Christmas.
Oh, it was it was a true it was a true white Christmas.
White Christmas.
Well, we don't need that that sure.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
See, that's the only time I miss Kelly.
And it's like when it fucking gets so cold here, I'm like, fuck this.
So speaking of Christmas break is June.
Christmas break a whole month then?
No, I think she only I think they only get a week.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think Jay gets two weeks or maybe a week and a half.
Well, I like how you have a normal school system up here or up there in like California.
So what you guys have two weeks off down there?
I want to say they have three weeks.
Holy shit.
Or maybe they have two weeks.
I don't know, but I know the colleges down here are like one month off.
Like they start, I don't know, they go back to school like after Martin Luther King.
I want to say.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
So that's I was just wondering how it is up there.
I could be wrong, but I want to say it's more than two weeks.
That's for sure.
Oh fuck.
How can they have that shit when I was in school down there?
Right.
Hate it.
Same.
I don't know.
You guys were supposed to be expecting rain though, right?
I know.
I think it's going to today was fucking 82 and I'm just like, where's we had like winter
like two weeks ago for like three days.
It's over.
Yeah.
I don't know.
But the nights are getting cooler, which is good.
So I like when I sleep with my window cracked, even though it's fucking cold, it's cooler,
but I just like that cold air on my face.
Yes.
And they just put an extra blanket on.
Exactly.
Shit.
Oh man.
Yeah.
Nothing fucking new or exciting has been happening in my life.
Right.
Same here.
Same old same old for me.
So and I don't have any rants or raves.
I don't know.
You want to wrap this up so we can get to doing our Thanksgiving prep.
Yes, I think we should.
So okay.
Happy Thanksgiving to all our listeners.
Yes.
Happy Thanksgiving to everybody and I guess eat up and drink up if you drink and stay safe.
Yes.
We will see you next week.
All right.