If I give you a if I made a giant bat of Tito's vodka, would you move back?
That's very convincing. Yes. I might
Good day best
What a dude. Oh
Just hanging out. I finally poured a drink
Geez, I started way early
Yeah, I had a lot of shit to do. I finally packed. I'm going to Maui tomorrow. They confirmed me
Whoa
Whoa, you know what? Yes
That that's gonna do until into our topics today
Yeah
Really quick. What are you drinking? I am actually okay
So I went to the fucking liquor store and they have these little taste tester people, right? Oh, okay
Yeah, and I'm drinking Western Sun and it's not Sun like the Sun in the sky
It's like hey son. What's up? Like what what is it? It's a vodka
So that's the that's the brand name. Yeah Western Sun. Okay. Yeah, and then she's like I
I'm putting it from like that from a tart because it's flavored vodka
Okay, bring it from a tartness to a sweetness
So I was like, you know what? I like me some watermelon moonshine
So what you want to give me the watermelon?
Tasted it. I was like
Yeah, it's too sweet. I don't know what the fuck and then so what flavor is it? It's watermelon. No, I got lime
I got lime and it's like fucking 40%
Proof yeah, oh
That's not bad. No, no, no, no 40% ALC
70% proof
Okay, so yeah, it looks pretty fancy
Schmancy fucking drinking that shit fucking woke up and I said good morning vodka
Wait, so you you mixed it with your watermelon moonshine or you're drinking it by itself? Oh, no, no, no
I fucking mix it with some Pellegrino. Oh, okay. I got confused because you said the moonshine. I'm like that
She makes it with the moonshine. Yeah. No, I'm all I'm all fucked up. I'm in the sticks girl. You know that
You have all this alcohol that I've never heard of so is Western Sun I guess from Oregon. Yes
Mm-hmm. That's so cool. Yeah, I'm not the shippy son. I
guess
Click link I clink clink I poured me
Bombay sapphire yes, ma'am
That's my girlfriend and I'm double-fisting so you know and I'm so glad I picked up more vodka yesterday
I just
With crystal light fruit punch and then I I filled up my three ounce TSA approved a little bottle
Or travel size bottle for my plane ride tomorrow
Fuck are you leaving tomorrow? I'm leaving tomorrow the shuttles picking me up at 420 a.m.
Fuck yeah
Yeah, so um, I don't know so when I booked remember when I came up to see you
I booked a private like a private shuttle driver, right and it was round trip
I think it was
$160 that's great. So I try and do that again with the same company or any other company
They now want 229. I'm like what the fuck happened. I'm like
Yes, because even em she's coming home from San Francisco today
And she's like they never offered the rate that you were talking about and I'm like I guess cuz I booked so early
I don't know what's going on, but I'm like what the fuck
229 before tip hell no, so I'm doing I guess the group shuttle for
130 round trip whatever so the shuttle takes you to the
Yeah, they'll pick me up from home
But then they're gonna stop like two two other stops for two other people and then we all go to the LAX together
Are you solo? Yeah, I'm going solo
I should have fucking I should I I just saw my time card the other day. I'm like I got vacation
I guess I've been there for fucking 90 days now. So I have vacation. I'm like fuck wait
Well, we'll have to book something together soon then for Vegas, you know Vegas
Um, you know how you said you wanted to go to Vegas and I'm like, oh, they were about to go on strike all the fucking service workers
Because of the Union I guess the Union wanted new
Yeah, you know proud to have a job they diverted or diverted I guess or they came to agreement
So, um, I guess there's the fucking not the grand slam. What's it called the grand prix is in Vegas this week?
I want to oh, okay. Yeah, because I keep seeing on my Instagram
So like the the what's it called the fountain of the Bellagio that's been taken out or they drained it and now there's bleachers everywhere
Are you kidding me? I'm not I will send you the links. It's so where to see that
I'm like, what the fuck this is so stupid. You know, Medusa. I live under a rock. I don't fucking know what's going on
Like what? Uh, I don't know. I'll send it to you
I didn't know was going on either till it hit my Instagram feed
And I'm like you would take all the water out of the fucking fountains just so you can put fucking bleachers there
And I guess people are showing up because for the grand prix
Yeah, that's I'm like I want to say the Instagram feed that I saw it on it was 80 million dollars
Just to get everything set up. I'm like, well, I hope people show up to recover that times
Well, I guess it will because you know, they're all gonna be gambling and shit
But 80 million dollars just to fucking have it all set up
fucking bullshit
I know Bellagio and that's like that's my spot. Okay, I've never been there
You know what they have the best lemon drops. Oh good to know
Good to know. Yeah
So, okay, oh go ahead. I'm sorry. Oh, yeah, I don't know. I just wanted to let you know
I'm kind of excited. I woke up this morning and
Bored myself a drink right
Right, um, I wanted to just take a little bit of time because I I don't want to be too sloshed on the show
but
and
I'm super excited to tell you
felt the fucking
Bullshit I've been doing for the past fucking couple days do tell do tell okay, so
basically, I am like talking in code to people and
And they don't fucking understand and when I say talking in code, I'm talking about I'm just like
Saying lyrics. I'm spitting lyrics
from knowledge. Yeah
Like pistol grip pump on my lap at all. That's how I fucking get through the day and they're just like wow come on a bullets
That's amazing. You are so like
philosophical and um
Yeah, so it all started when I had somebody come up to me here in Oregon it
Fucking rains here in our again. We all know that and I had somebody come up to me and say it's raining so bad today
and I was like well
No, bamboo rain I gotta have some patience and
Boom
Yeah, okay
and then
And then and then my son tells me well, how was your day today?
And I was like today was a good a good day. I go no parking from the dog. No smong, you know
Right and he's like, oh, yeah, he's like, okay mom. I'm cool. I'm glad it was a good day. Yeah
and then I
Had somebody come up to me and they're like does that make sense? I'm like
If it doesn't make dollars
So for the listeners the first one is November rain by guns and roses the second one is I had a good day or whatever
By ice cube also known as Oshay Jackson
Yeah, the last one is dollars and cents by DJ quick because that's how me and Pomona bullets roll
Right. I would know where you're going with all this. Yeah. Well, you would fucking call me out. You like bitch stop
Time to karaoke and all these little millennials are just like wow
Yeah, and I was like, you know
This is what you got to do
What was I supposed to do and they're giving me this little?
No, this is what's happening. I was like, well, just don't stand there bus to move
Well, at least you're having fun at work this week. Oh girl, I was I was I was fucking I was I was co I was
Quoteen excuse me Kanye. I was like
I was like money isn't everything but not having it is like
Again, what you said what having money isn't everything but not having it is I mean you can't oh
Like you know, you know, and then they're like hey
Come on a bullet. So will you go get us coffee? And I was like, do you have five on it?
I'm like, yeah, they're just like what the fuck is going on. There's just like yeah, I do I do it
I'm grabbing five dollar bills from motherfuckers. I'm like
You still carry cash, what the fuck oh my gosh, and they're like, what do you think I am?
I can't do this anymore. I'm like you're just another brick in the wall
Oh
Shit you win with that one
Yeah, I I've been fucking oh my gosh
I've been just talking in lyrics
All week and everyone's just like wow Sophia. You're like a little back in
You're just like a poet
Like yeah, you know well if I were to talk in lyrics all week
It would be with my former or with my fellow Jan 5 Capricorn Marilyn Manson and people would think I'm batshit crazy
But he spit some real fucking knowledge
I'm saying they're like do you understand?
Does that make sense? I'm all here is something you can't understand
How I can just kill them
Fucking love you
Fuck
They real yeah
Realness
Okay, so speaking of you being already sauce up. I kind of found you a so Cal side piece
I haven't really checked them out, but
Let me tell you this I was on my morning walk yesterday right before I had to start my fucking day
and so by my by my
By up here where my mom lives, you know, it's the river path that you can take I guess by Santa Fe damn
You can take the river path all the way down to the beach. Yeah. Yeah, okay, right?
So there's always all these bikers like my bikers. I don't mean sunset anarchy. I mean the 10 speeders. Oh
Shit, yeah, well 10 speeders and they they take the fucking
Bike trail all the way down right and come back up. Well, I'm walking yesterday
And they're getting ready to get on the trail and this one guy he's like I
Drank half a bottle of Jameson last night and I fucking showed up for this 35 mile ride
One way so I'm ready to go. I don't know about y'all and I'm like, you know, I didn't even look at him
But I'm like come on a bulls bit like yeah, let's go
Yeah, those little fucking 10 speeders. They have fucking nice butts like I
I was just like this 10 speeder fucking polish off have a bottle of Jameson and he's ready to bike down to the beach
You do yeah
Guy I knew it. I was just like come on a bull to be like yes, please
Yes
Yeah, I mean, I'm not
So big on fucking I do yoga arm strong. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not big on Lance Armstrong type of people
Yeah, I mean if you thought he was gonna have like a Harley-Davidson or some shit. No, I know the other bikers
All right, I guess the cyclist I guess the proper term is cyclist. I don't know
well as long as if he would entertain a
Bitch that does yoga poses like the corpse, right?
Then all right
I'm good. Let's do this
There you go
So what's been happening with you? Um, I
Am not liking this time change. I don't know about you
I used to not matter to me, but now that I work six to two thirty
It just is fucked. It's fucking me up big time
You know, they're like do we gain an hour to be losing our fall back bitches fall back. Yeah
Fucking dumbasses like you need to fucking just go um
Yeah, uh, I
Enjoy it for the first two days when we fall back
Okay
Because I just wake up my early morning. I'm just like, oh shit
I'm up about hour early before my fucking alarm went off
That's okay. Yeah, and I'm like, oh, wow, I'm fucking energized. I feel energized then I'm just like fuck this shit
You know, we need to adopt like I I'm really really really looking forward to like maybe moving to
Arizona where they don't fuck with the time Hawaii. Okay, boom to Hawaii because that's where I'm from
But come on now. We don't fuck with time either. So
right, but that's one fucking thing I'm I
was just
contemplating was
If they don't fuck with their time
Then what does it make them like are they three hours away or difference? No, it's I guess for them
So Hawaii doesn't um observe I guess daylight savings time. No, okay
So like for instance, I guess I didn't realize that I thought it was just Arizona and like Indiana
I want to say but okay cool. So um
They're not or so they're always on regular time then I'm assuming so it's three hours. I guess now behind or
Yeah, they're behind us Hawaii's behind us
So I would say it was three hours and then when we go on daylight savings time, they're four they would be four
Yeah, and this is so
Trying to call my brother and shit. I'm like, hey, bro. What's up brah
How's it and he's like I
Not even a week yet. Like yeah, it's so weird because I didn't realize when I booked my flight
So I leave at nine o'clock tomorrow and it's five hours. So nine plus five is
1400 yes, 1400s, but mine is three hours. So I arrive at 11 a.m. That's fine coming home
I was just like, oh I get home at 10 o'clock at night. I'm just like, oh
Whatever my flight better be on time and guess what this there's gonna be another fucking monsoon fucking storm this week in California
For me, I don't know. I guess now it's rainy season or whatever, but oh my god, but the last time this happened was when I came to see you
And I don't even travel a lot. Yeah, you're like in a hurricane or something. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, there better not be a fucking hurricane
Because I had a plant stay on the rain
They called it right they called it like apocalyptic rain or some bullshit like that. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, exactly
Oh, geez
Oh my gosh, I'm like who the fuck is fucking with like
I mean, we're all gods. I guess I'm just thinking I'm like, okay. We're all gods. I mean we all manifest our own fucking whatever
Like why are we fucking with the time?
Right. This is so fucking weird. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate it and don't fast forward it
Please don't we had I want I don't vote but the I want to say last year
I vote in my mind
You vote in your mind. Okay. Well, at least you do that. I don't vote. Um, the californ
I want to say last year's um voting or whatever the fuck you call it or election thing
They had it on the ballot if the time should change and of course it didn't pass
But I'm like, do you know how much drama that would be to actually pass to pass it and then have everybody switch?
And that's why they probably just said that it didn't pass with the ballots. I'm like, don't put it on the ballot
It's not going to ever fucking change
You know, or you're doing the same shit and I'm like, yes, please
Everybody needs to fucking vote. I'm like that little advocate. I'm like when we rewind the time
Let's just stick with that. Let's never change it again
Let's vote to never change the work and wherever it is
It just needs to fucking stay is what I'm saying because I'm like this it's it's only one hour
But I'm like it's ridiculous and speaking of organ
I I went to the dentist yesterday. Um to get my teeth cleaned and um the dental assistant
Yeah, I'm all I'm all good. My grill looks good. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Good girl
Good girl. Good girl. Um, so the dental assistant, um, she's like, I just want to let you know
I haven't told dr. Chow yet, but um, I won't see you ever again because I'm moving back
I'm moving to Oregon and I'm like
and I looked at her and I
I did a long pause. It was the longest 10 seconds ever from on of all its I'm like, I fucking hate organ
And she was like, well, she's like really I'm like, yeah
I went up there to visit my friend and I'm like my best friend. I'm like, I will fucking hate that state
She's like, well, I was born there. I'm like, well
Okay
I fucking hate it. I'm like, why are you moving back?
And she's like, well, my dad said he's moving back and I thought it was just a change of pace
I'm like, well, at least we'll have a job up there as a dental assistant
I well, I don't even think fucking most are gonians
Well, I live in the sticks, but
Oh, I fucking hate your sticks
Fuck man. Fuck. I'm like the next time I come up there. You will need to meet me in portland and we will party there
I'm like, I cannot fucking do
I
Know where are you again?
Oh, you don't want to tell you the city never mind
Andy
Yeah
Fucking behind a tractor for an hour and a half. Yeah, god damn. Fuck that shit
But the funny thing is is that I have like my sisters and everybody and they're saying oh my kid is like
Like, you know doing this shit that we did because we're so Cal
You're you're sneaking out of the house
You're sneaking boys in
You're doing, you know 18 like here
Little fake ideas shit like that like it's just so crazy like the city life
I honestly thought like if I fucking move to
Oregon
into a stick city
uh
Yeah, you know, why don't you go and fucking like
Bump cows. I don't know what they
There's some cow tipping. Yes
Do that do that. I'd rather have you do that
And just and and you don't have any cousins here. So you're not gonna be in sass. I'm like, I don't fucking know
Like I I don't fucking know
Um, it it could start doing whippets. Yeah
Remember the skip it
Oh god damn my um, m had one of those and that thing is fucking dumb as fuck. You just skip it
I skip it and you put it on your fucking ankle and you fucking
Oh, it's tether ball. It's tether ball for your fucking leg. Yeah, exactly
But you'd be fucking awesome when you're fucking doing double dutch if you just fucking practice
I was never um, I'm not that coordinated to do double dutch. I fucking love whoever can do double dutch
kudos to you
Yeah, I'm jealous for those people because they are just way too coordinated. I just like fast jump rope
Yeah
Girl, I'm telling you Medusa. I can't fucking do that shit too
Where I see those girls gonna go in the double-dutch fucking ropes and they're just like going forward and back and forward and back
And they do a whole shit and I'm just like god damn
And then their fucking feet just move so fast. I'm like fuck
And you know what? I can do regular jump rope. I guess like when you jump or like the two jump ropes
You know what I'm talking about. Yes, but not yeah, okay
So you I can do that
But um, the one where it gets me and I try to even like do a youtube tutorial or watch a youtube tutorial
I was like, you know how like all the boxers and the fighters they do that. Um, they do that little dance
Oh, and they fucking switch it
But yeah back and forth and shit and fucking keep going. I'm like damn
Yeah, and they do it really quick
But there's it's like it's a rhythm to it and I'm like I watched like two different tutorial videos on youtube
I'm just like fuck this shit. I will stick to regular fast jump rope. Yeah
I'm I'm like I'm like fucking walking over the fucking rope when I'm like oops
Okay, and I just keep like I just do regular jump rope. I I
I'm I'm a fucking I'm a fucking loser
Like seriously
I'm just like what the fuck dude
I I can't fucking do this shit
Fucking crazy
how's everybody but
I don't know
I I tried to do that little cross
Yeah, I don't got rid of I used to be able to do the cross or I know what you're talking about. Um
When you do jump rope by yourself, right? Yeah. Yeah. I was able to do that. Um, I haven't done that lately
but um, yeah, I just I really would love to um
Be like a fighter and do do that type of jump roping on my own
That's why I was like I was thinking
When I was in kickboxing and shit and then I had my trainer tell me
Oh, guess what we're gonna go to San Diego and you're gonna
Uh, and I told you this I think yes, um, yeah, your nose broke. Yeah
The bitch kicked the shit out of me
Okay, yeah, I was like well, maybe if I wouldn't learned how to jump rope
Shit like I don't fucking know
Damn it
My nose still hurts to this day
Oh
Fuck
Um, I got I don't have much on my list for today, but I got a lot about food
Okay
So the first thing is remember the last episode I we
We're talking about Thanksgiving and I'm like, hey Popeyes has the cage in turkey
Yes, that's the deep fry turkey girl. I fucking called them. Do you know how much they want for that fucking turkey?
Fuck 50 bucks
Um, let's start with um, they add said it feeds eight to 12
Okay, which is a fucking lie. Yeah
In my world that means three to four people and then in baroque madusa's world because I'm all about protein
That means it feeds one person
For two fucking meals girl. They want a hundred dollars
Shut the front door
No, I told em because em's like I'm gonna place an order for whatever food because we don't want my mom cooking her fucking turkey
And I'm like, you know what? Let me um call Popeyes. I want the turkey and I'm she's like cool
I'll put you down for turkey because she's writing the list down and I'm like, oh they want a hundred dollars
I'm like, oh hell no. I will figure out something else
Fuck for a fuck and it says feeds eight to twelve people. Um, no
I don't know. I just pop like fucking fucking anorexia people like I'm like is that a 15 pound turkey like no
I'm sure it's a fucking like a 10 pound turkey and that don't feed people
three pound turkeys don't feed people so um
If you were thinking about buying the Cajun turkey don't
I was thinking of
I always my go-to is honey big ham. I'm just like hey, dude. Just give me well. You used to work there and you know what I
know I overdosed on that like 15 years ago because I want that every fucking year and I'm like I cannot eat that ever again
Well, that's when I was like Jessica elbow. Fuck you
No and fuck her mom. Yeah, I fuck your own mama and you need a ticket
By the way, I can still sell you oregano in a dime bag
You're gonna make me spit up my fucking fucking girl stop. Sorry
I'm
Yeah, I'm just like fuck. Maybe I just get a little turkey breast
That's that's what I'm doing these days
Oh, it's okay. So speaking of food. So, um, since I'm leaving I only I'm meal prepping chicken breast for fenway for the entire fucking week
So my daughter can feed her
So yesterday I was just like I'm not gonna cook all this fucking chicken because I'm only here for one more day
So anyways, I go to dickies barbecue. Oh, have you? Do you have dickies barbecue up there?
No, but when I was in so Cal I was always down center. Was it mountain central? I don't know. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah right there
Okay, they have it there. Um, where was I going with dickies barbecue?
Oh, because I picked up first of all, I always pick up their fucking um
And I don't go there often. I used to go there all the time, but um, right
Yeah, they no they got really pricey, but that's okay. I guess hopefully as long as they're you're paying your employees
That's fine. I'm like, let me get a pound of um pulled pork
and that
Here's the thing I have a food skill at home and I I'm like, let me fucking
Measure this shit just because
But I'm like, let me get a pound of pulled pork that'll hold me for yesterday's meals and today's meals
Or four meals, right because it's four times four is 16. That's one pound
So I'm like, let me measure this shit girl. What and I'm like, they don't measure it
They just fucking do their thing and I throw it in the thing
They throw it in my uh in the box or whatever they put it in so I fucking measure this shit like literally the actual fucking meat
It's like short two ounces and I'm like, that's 10 grams of protein that I'm missing from my fucking meal
Well, anyways besides that so I'm like, hey, how big is the tray for the macaroni?
And they show me the two different trays for Thanksgiving. They're like this one's 29. I'm like that don't even see like
Yeah, 20 or maybe it'll feed four people
$29 and they're like the big tray is 40
Of course because it's hot. Yeah
And then the I guess the big tray or like the have you ever seen like the big size? Um
What's it called? I'm stover's lasagna like you buy at cost. Oh, yeah, I buy that shit all day long. Yeah
Yeah, that that one's 42 and I'm like, oh, okay
And I'm like, you know what I have a crock pot and I have a myth
I have a recipe for actual like crock pot um macaroni and cheese
And I'm like, I will think that my daughter fucking loves mac and cheese
I don't know, so that was my sign. I'm like, who doesn't like mac and cheese? I'm like, that'll be the one day
I fucking eat fucking like whatever, but I was like, I'm gonna make mac and cheese and then I gotta figure out for fucking protein
I don't know whatever
I was really sad. I was really sad that I was missing out on two ounces of fucking pulled pork
I I would be fucking I would be pissed like I don't that's why I say I gotta piss
I'm gonna fucking kill somebody. You may not understand, but I'm gonna kill a fucking man like I know
And um, I have a very very good recipe. I'm gonna fucking send it to
um, my my son he loves
mac and cheese
And I had
an old gal
She was actually from Tennessee and I'm not fucking like I I love this lady. She was just amazing
And I used to um, I used to judge a book by its cover. I always judge a book by its cover. I always
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, whatever you down
If it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it's like a fucking duck and I'm I I'm I'm very bad, but I'm trying
But this lady I'm like, okay. Wow
All right, let's let's do this and she gave me the best
mother effin
Mac and cheese recipe and I do it all day long
It's great. I'm gonna I'm gonna text it to you. Do you make it like in the crock pot then or you make it?
No, I make it in one of those mother mother fucking little tins that you buy you put a turkey in or whatever
Oh, okay. Got it. Got it girl that shit away like oh, perfect
Please send that to me. So I don't have to clean my crock pot. Yeah, and it's fucking amazing because I'm like an egg
Okay
But it's fucking amazing. Just like okay, velveta
Oh, I don't like so with the crock pot. I actually it has the high-end cheese like fontina
You know what fontina? Okay. I don't do velveta. I don't do it either. So that's the thing I kind of
X-nay on the velveta a
Oh, you substitute it with something or just send me your recipe and I'll check it out. Yeah. Yeah, I just put fucking a
Shit ton of cheese
Like just whatever I do like you want to talk about a fucking seven cheese fucking macaroni. No. Yeah
Yeah, okay
An actual butter and not shed. Yep spread country crock. I fucking hate people who use that
I hate that shit. I get unsalted butter and
Yeah, everybody everybody's like, why would you buy unsalted? I'm like because you know, there's two versions
Yeah, I don't do the salted. I don't know you can add your own mother fucking salt if you fucking
Fill the need to add so add the fucking salt. I totally agree. Do you okay?
Let's just fucking
Let's dovetail off of that
When you ask somebody you're sitting at a fucking dinner table
and you say pass the salt
And somebody grabs the salt to pass it to you, but they fucking salt their own shit before they pass it
Is is that a pet peeve?
Um, no, I would call it multitasking like let me get this because you're not going to give it back to me
You're gonna pass it down the way why you you think opposite?
Yeah, I do. I'm like, listen motherfucker. You didn't even think about salt
When I asked to pass the mother fucking salt that all of a sudden you want to fucking salt your food
No, no, fuck that you pass the mother fucking salt. Let me salt my food and I'll fucking give it back
And then you can salt your food like I don't know. I'm just
Fucking I don't know. I'm a fucking grumpy bitch. I swear to god. No, you're not grumpy in fact
You know what we should do with Thanksgiving together and video it
We should
We mother fucking should I swear to god. I'm getting cranberries in a can
Oh, I fucking I'm not a I used to be like cranberries. Uh, what's it called? Is it cranberry dressing?
Oh, are you doing the like the dressing like the little
No, but you know like when I was growing up my mom would do like is it called cranberry dressing or I don't know
What's called just cranberries with turkey like who came up with that shit?
It was really good with the dressing and turkey and I'm just like I fucking hate all of that shit now
Okay, so let me um talk about my other I have two more things on food
So at my job, I take a walk on my first break or I don't
Well, I guess I take two breaks. I don't know whatever
I think my you take two 15s, right? Well, I take two or I used to take two thirties, but
And then it got hot because it goes 115 degrees up here, but anyways, so my first break um
Let the for the last two weeks. So I work in Azusa
And I work across the street from a uh, uh, willy wonka factory didn't realize that when I started working there
Okay, so it's I guess Christmas season, right? So for the last
Three weeks all the way up to Christmas it goes fucking crazy because they're making all this fucking chocolate and fucking candy
blood
Fuck up really?
Right just like they I'll send you their web link and I'm just like this shit is ridiculous. It's not Hershey's
But there's this the Hispanic lady shows up with in her fucking um
Um, station wagon. It's not a station wagon. So let me ask you this because you grew up in SoCal
Yes
so if you see
a Hispanic Mexican lady
Or two ladies and they have their hatchback or they have the back trunk open and they're sitting there
And they're just whatever not not a super a hatchback. Yeah, whatever hatchback whatever whatever car they have and they have the trunk open
And they're sitting there. What does that imply?
Tamales
Thank you tamales
Tamales, right, right all the fucking time. You don't have to have any fucking sign
You don't need a sign of life. Bitch. This this bitch has tamales. So by week two, which was this last week
I'm like, let me oh, she's she sits out there for four hours in front of the fucking factory
So I'm like, okay, so I walk up. I'm like, hey, so um,
Are you selling tamales?
and she's like
No, I have a different menu for every day of the week and I'm like, well, which day do you have tamales?
And she was like, I don't today's burrito ten dollars a burrito
And I'm like
I looked at her like she was fucking crazy. I'm like, bitch. What? I'm like, no, no, no, no
I can make myself a burrito
I need you to make me a tamale. I'm just like, oh, that's cool
So I tell my co-workers because they're all Hispanic everybody's Hispanic except like three of us because it's um
So cow so right it's so cow. No, but it's telecom construction. So everybody's Hispanic and they all speak Spanish all day long
So I'm like, there's a lady right there and she fucking hangs out and she has her hatchback open because they never leave outside of the building once we
For break they only go out for lunch. They're like really?
And I'm like, so I'm like, what does that imply because they're Hispanic? She's like girl. Are they showing tamale?
and I'm like
That's what I thought
I'm like, no today is burritos and you get a soda for ten dollars. It's like, what the fuck?
They're like, you know, uh
What is it guys?
Chris Sanchez
Is like, oh, you're dropping fucking first and last names. Okay. Let's do that. Yeah, but how many Chris Sanchez's are in fucking
Fucking a billion because I thank you. I do I do background checks on thank you all the Rodriguez's and the Sanchez's
It takes a long time exactly. So
the one of the one million Christopher Sanchez is that I work with
he's like
Do I need to tell her that it's like November or whatever the day is and then I'm like if she starts like fucking make her
Her tamales now start selling like making them
She could make bank by Christmas and I'm like, you know what I'm like, no
I love you, Medusa. You're fucking amazing
I was just like so Cal if there's a Hispanic lady with her hatchback or the trunk open
She has fucking tamales. That's all you need to know except in Azusa not this lady
Yeah, and you know what you got to look for the fucking uh, what's it called the little
the cooler
A cooler
Oh, she kept she keeps her car running for the entire time. She's there because it's connected
with
Yeah, that's all I was just like
Get the fuck out of here whatever and she wants to make our own burritos at the fucking Rosa Rita
Fucking beans in a can and
Yeah, exactly that way we want tamales
Thank you and she's like I take zeller cash and I'm like well you can get neither from me, bitch
I know people are just like so
So this is so Cal is so crazy and I'm like, okay, it's all good and I come from so Cal. I'm like born
raised
There yeah my lender and yes
I go to the islands
sometimes
and
You know these oh
Oh, actually I'm gonna fucking stop myself right there because I had a fucking
employee tell me
California people say, you know, you know what I mean
It's like
Like, you know
I was like, okay great then you speak my lingo
So
And get out of your Patagonia and your fucking um, what was the other thing I told you that they wear Patagonia
a fucking car hurt
Fucking whatever. It's not Eddie Bauer. I was thinking Eddie Bauer, but Patagonia god damn. I know Columbia
Oh, Columbia Patagonia and Columbia
Fuck those fuck off
But guess what though it really does make a difference. I'm fucking cold
I'm fucking cold when it's not fucking 50 degrees. I'm fucking freezing. I'm fucking cold and everyone's like, oh you so bougie
I don't care. I don't care and guess what pistol grip pump
Fuck you
That's right bitch
That's right. I'm just fucking drank those last my little
Yeah, same with me and you know what when I picked up that big ass handle of fucking vodka yesterday and I sent you that picture
It's in the garage
Girl, I'm walking the garage right now to fucking make pour me another drink. You know what I fucking have my travel size thing
I should just pour that and then like refill that
There you go. I'm a fucking I'm already stocking up my little fucking center council
In my car, that's what you need to do. Oh, yeah, well that's what I'm gonna do when I'm fucking living in the sticks
Okay, so really quick before we start talking or um before you start talking again, um
Are not talking again, but you bring up whatever you need to bring up. I have one more thing on food
Oh, yes
Instagram
I've never been to japan, but you told me you've been to japan. Yes, I have never been to japan
But I will tell you this. I don't know where in japan this is but katsu tanaka restaurant has and I know you like sweet
I really like the the name of that restaurant, but okay
They have deep fried kit cat candy bars
Yeah, so there's two versions the first one they have a deep fried kit cat obviously in batter
The second one is that deep fried
Kit Kat in batter and it has slices of deep fried banana
And I'm like, you know what I would do number two and I'm not even a sugar person
But I'm like with a deep fried banana. I think I would do that. I would love it
Is it like with panko?
I'm sure I don't know it didn't go into depth but it looked it looked tasty and I'm like
I'm gonna look it up if y'all over this shit
Oh
I was just like
Guess what I when I was in japan they gave this taco. They said it was taco salad
So
Be okay an american, you know
Whatevs
And I'm like taco salad. Yes, please
And it was no it wasn't taco salad my bad. It was taco rice
Oh, okay, so
I'm explain what taco rice is so taco rice in japan. They just put a bunch of jasmine rice
Okay, and then they would put um meat of your toys which was
They actually have meat over there. Oh, yeah dog
Well, I don't know they call it beef
Well, I guess they would have kobi beef over there. They would have to have it imported I guess
Yeah, it's just like okay, and then they just put like they think that oh here you go guys
Please here's some lettuce cheese
Oh god it like they just make this like this is like fucking taco bowl and I'm like oh this is amazing
But they put a shit ton of cheese and I'm like like what kind of cheese
um
Yeah, that was like
kobi jack
Huh, I know I would have not expected that in japan, but I guess they need to americanize it
Yeah, they're they're they're fucking they're fucking caring to us and shit. Yeah
I was like, uh, this is nice
It's a little fucking cheese that's fucking
Covered with wax. You know that little yeah
You know what's funny is my daughter told me um not to buy shredded cheese anymore because I stopped by I stopped
Or I got rid of the you know the cheese the greater
Yeah, because I'm just like whatever I would grate my cheese because it tastes better right it tastes better
If you buy the if you grate the cheese from a block as opposed to buying shredded fucking cheese
And then she tells me she's like you know shredded cheese is all this stuff
So it stays like in its fucking natural form or I guess how it looks shredded. I'm like oh that makes sense
I always stop buying or eating shredded cheese. Yeah. Yeah, you fucking straight get a block of cheese
Get a block or a glock. Yeah
I thought you said a glock
fucking
Let me get a glock and fucking shoot a block of cheese in this room
Fucking shoot all the cheese and the fucking the fucking universe
Confetti eggs. Yeah in the universe
Here you go, mother fuckers. We don't want to fucking grade their own fucking block of cheese
Here's the thing. Um, so my daughter she's like, um, yeah, don't buy. I'm shredded cheese whatever
So I stopped buying that and what does this bitch do?
buy
Yeah, exactly. So, um, there was on twitter like um twitter's somebody posted like you know, she um
twitter posted I'm sorry
um, you know how like you buy the the canned or I'm not saying you would because I know you're allergic to shellfish
But yes, the canned or the frozen um the crab meat that's already shredded. I'm so sad. Don't say that
No, no, no, no, listen, but um, there was a doc. I guess like it was a 90 minute spiel how it's fucking fake like how fake
Oh fake crab and all that shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and it's all just like whatever and it's all fucking minced together
So I send this to my daughter because she likes to make crab salad and that's what she buys and she's like
I'm like, oh, that's fine. I don't care. I don't have enough money for real crab anyways. I'm like
I'm like, I guess pick and choose right
fuck yeah
fucking stupid ass fake ass like
I I swear to you Medusa
I when they told me
I was on the hospital bed and they said guess what you're fucking allergic
It was like wow
Okay
What bottom feeders I'm like, what is bottom feeders? I don't even fucking know
I know that the mexicans do this ceviche and all this shit
Yeah
Fucking I don't know what ebbs and in hawaii
My family's like
You're such a fucking piece of shit
And I'm like I'm assuming that's on your mom's side then that you probably got the allergy. Yeah for sure
I mean it wasn't from the fucking islanders side
I'm the fucking
I'm the bullshit motherfucker. That's just like oh guess what I can't eat
Crap. I can't eat fucking certain fish. I can't eat tuna
Yeah
Yeah, that's about it. That's about it
fucking
OMG, I swear to you
When everyone's like I'm gonna go to the coast and I'm gonna get some crab and I'm gonna I'm like, yeah
Well, you know, hey have fun. Don't bring it back to me. Yeah
It's all good
I don't even know there's people at work
That tell me oh, I'm gonna drive to the coast today
And I'm gonna bring you back
Something I'm like, you know what? Hey, guess what just because I'm cute
Doesn't mean that you're gonna you're gonna kill me. You're gonna kill me. You're gonna bring me you're gonna bring me back a
Handle of Jameson. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that would be nice. That would be fucking really nice
Really nice. I'm just like what the fuck are you fucking talking about? I get so
Fucking mad and I don't understand
Why I get so mad, but I do I do I get so fucking mad, but I fucking smile
And then you just imagine throat punching them. Yeah, exactly. I got it. That sounds about right
Well, you know, that's what that's all we gotta do. I'm like motherfuckers. I don't know. I fucking look at fucking
I look I'm like if you fucking if somebody gave you a snickers bar
You hungry
angry, yeah
And I'm like, what what if you were allergic to chocolate?
Yeah, you know what
Speaking of allergies. I have a in the last seven years. I have a food allergy to pineapple. Did I tell you that? No
And I never was allergic to pineapple before
Besties for a fucking apple
Right. Well, but like in the last seven years because I had a food allergy
I don't know if you ever had like the allergy test or whatever you go. I do
All right, so you they they prick your back with all this fucking. Yeah, all the fucking needles and shit
And so I'm allergic to yeah, I'm allergic to strawberries and pineapples and I'm like, that's fine. I fucking hate straw strawberries are trash
Yes, strawberries are trash. They're fucking like just stick them in the ground like beads. I don't understand people who do that shit
It's fucking trash to me
I'm sorry if I'm hurting you
Fuck yeah, it should be trash. I never ate strawberries before
I never ate strawberries before like even chocolate covered strawberries
I'm like, this is fucking gay and it's fucking dumb and it fucking tastes like trash to me. I'm sorry
Well, isn't it weird where it's kind of like you just don't really know what your allergies are
And then you just like your body is just kind of sane
Right. No, but I never but here's the thing. I never ate strawberries like purposely, right?
Like well strawberry jelly, but strawberry jelly has sugar and all this fucking preservatives
So I wouldn't be allergic to that but I kept breaking out on hives everywhere because I guess I was eating pineapple
But um, I didn't realize that
Um until I got the allergy test and I was never allergic to our I'm sorry to pineapples before that
So my thing is this I'm like, what is um the usda?
Yeah, the usda like what are they putting or what are they pumping into these fucking pineapples that I'm allergic to
Yeah
And I have not bought
um
What's it called organic pineapples just to test it because it's too much work to fucking like
Look, have you ever like you've chopped up a pineapple and got rid of everything?
It's a fucking pain in the ass. So I'm like, you know what? I'm killing pineapples all together
I'm going to Maui next week. Let's go Islander. I fucking I chop up pineapples fucking mangoes fucking everything
I fucking love mangoes. I am so glad I am not allergic to mangoes
I think I would die
Fuck
Dude, if you're a glitch just a pineapple, you know dole this is fucking rocking my fucking
island and
But here's the thing also I don't mean to cut you off
but so I I've been I picked up in the summertime because I'm like
Once a year, I'm like I want pineapples and I will just like deal with the fucking hives and fucking just um
Take the benadryl and I'm like, well, let me try this pineapple juice, right?
Because I I started I picked up a 14 pack of pineapple juice
And I'm like, I don't break out knives
Which is weird and I look at the ingredients it's it says it's pineapple juice and like two other ingredients
I'm like, oh the the other two ingredients. Um, I guess counteract whatever's in the pineapple juice
Or is this really pineapple juice by dole?
two questions
I don't break out in hives and I don't need to take benadryl and it's not a
Fucking shit show for my entire body
Yeah, I know. I don't know
horrible
Well, you know you and you
With your pineapple
And me and me
With my shellfish
Shellfish like seriously. I've been fucking my whole family or like you're not a fucking real islander
I
But I've lived on the island. I swear I swear I swam and I fucking had a fucking longboard
There you go because sure girl I had a longboard and a shortboard longboard
That's easy once you fucking learn it. The shortboard is a lot of fucking work
I finally got up on that thing once and then after that I'm like, I'm selling this on craigslist
Yeah, what was that fucking work? I was like
I'm trying to be fucking shortboard. I can fucking do this. I can fucking ride waves all day way too much work
Are you there?
I'm a little more fucking. I'm sorry. I was drinking. That's okay. I'm like, do you go clink clinking?
That's okay clink clink bitch
There you go. Um, I do you have rants or raves? I don't really have any
I don't I think we're kind of rants
We kind of faded out with that
We are like just like bad. I don't know
I have
Oh go ahead. I I don't
I don't have any rants
Well, I have well, I don't have any rants. I guess which is good. I have a rave. Oh
What is that?
It's well, you'll probably think it's funny. I don't know if anybody else will but at work
So I'm off next week, right? Obviously since I'm not gonna be there
And um, they're like, um, so it's me and this other girl that we cover for each other like AJ
Medusa's off at work next week. She's like, yeah, I already know that she's like
They're like, we're gonna need you to um step it up a notch and she's like, excuse me
And they're like, yeah, you're gonna have to step it up a notch when it comes to cursing because clearly
Medusa like is top rank and she's like, oh god damn you guys. I fucking got that covered. Okay?
So I'm like, okay
She's covering your
Fucking my my cursing and kicking the printer the mfd the multifunction device that never fucking prints or scans when it needs to
Boom
When someone's like, whoop whoop. I was like, whoop whoop
You fucking old ass motherfuckers whoop. That's right
Okay, so I guess we can end this
Yes, yeah, I guess but we have to like I thank everybody for listening to us
Yeah, you know what I thank you guys too and um my raiders play tonight and oh
Wait, wait, wait, wait before we end this we gotta understand that the chargers
one
We are second plan you guys are playing right now. Mm-hmm. I know that's why I'm gonna hang up
I love you so much. I love you too bestie and um, so we will end this and I will FaceTime you yep
Okay, but and by FaceTime. I mean give me 10 minutes. I need a point for sure, but I'm all right
All our listeners. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you and sue if you're listening. We love you the most
First show that's right sue. All right. We out. Bye. Bye