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What up Baroque Medusa here. Just a reminder my new book Only Fans Funds got picked up

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by independent publisher Alien Budapest and it's available in paperback and on Kindle.

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Amazon link is in the show notes so click on it and get to reading.

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Okay I understood the strategy about hot scotch but the little fucking rock that people would

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throw and shit like I didn't know what that fucking meant. So maybe if the the

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maybe if the fucking rock was um alcohol maybe both of us would understand the

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entire fucking game all together welcome to our podcast.

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Good day. Best day was so best day right rock star fucking fucking change right. I just took my first sip and I'm like you know what I told you this morning when I talked to or I guess when I texted you that I wanted to start drinking already but I'm like let me get my shit done because once we start podcasting I swear to God I got when we start getting tips in like I just need to edit the podcast.

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And chill the fuck out for the rest of the day.

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I know when you texted me and I read that I was like oh what I would do for a drink while I'm doing these fucking dishes.

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So what happened to what happened to the dishwasher it just doesn't power on or what.

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I have no fucking clue. One this dishwasher is brand well it's about a year and a half not even two years old.

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Okay. And I don't know I it was working fine everything was cool and then all of a sudden my son and I we load up the dishwasher for the evening and going to hit start and it sounds funny and then all of a sudden we get this error message and it says F. T. D.

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I was like what the fuck is this and so I open it up I make sure everything's like I don't know what I fucking close it again put it start and it's all F. T. D. be be be be my son T. D. stands for fuck the dishes.

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Yeah.

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That's the error code. Fuck it. Paper plates. It stands for failure to drain and I realized that it's not. Oh water's not even coming into the dishwasher anymore. I don't fucking well as long as it didn't flood your fucking kitchen.

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No that my refrigerator did that so. Oh dear God. I know. And you see my shit. It's not like all old and it's brand new. Fuck and fuck. Well I think this was my fault though because it kept saying I needed to change the filter and I bought those filters that come with it and it's supposed to be like every six months or three months if you're good and you're on top of shit but three to six months you change this shit.

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What's the. So I never know. Diswashers have filters. No this was for the fridge that flooded my kitchen. Oh OK. So and I'm assuming that's for the ice maker that which doesn't work and why change it. Yeah. Well but I do use the water.

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So OK. I'm like all right. Change this shit. The fucking little filter light keeps blinking. I have filters. I change it. OK. My bad for maybe not really reading the directions or whatnot. I didn't know you had to fucking pull out the refrigerator. Turn off the fucking water.

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To change the filter. Girl. Yes. Oh fuck that shit. For the picture moving forward. Yeah. I was like this is so fucking ridiculous. So I changed the filter. I pulled a little fuck her out. It's like a missile.

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I'm just like putting another one in and I just hear. I was like maybe I didn't put it in right. So I'm like hitting it and turning it. And then all of a sudden it's like mom the kitchen flooded. What. We had to get a bunch of fucking towels. Yeah.

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I guess I had to turn off the water. I just yeah. I was like F. M. L. Fuck my life. Yeah. But I'm just like you know I'm trying to call fucking plumbers and handyman whoever they're like we that sounds weird your dishwasher.

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I was like yeah it says failure to train. I at least Google that error code. Right. Like I have no idea. And I go but fucking home cheapo had a contractor fucking this put this installed a fucking thing. And it did seem a little fishy when I'm underneath the sink.

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It's like why the fuck do I have three feet of plastic tubing that goes from the yeah it's like you can you wouldn't think doll it probably you would think they would cut it just hey she only needs like maybe a foot if that not this coiled as shit and maybe it's all clogged or I don't

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know. Or maybe he didn't install that fucking tube. Yeah I'm just like oh my gosh no I have a fucking plumber coming in on Tuesday. Lo's doesn't have a contractor to check shit out. Yeah but I bought it from Home Cheapo so.

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Oh okay they're not really trying to help me they're like bitch we don't give a shit if you work for us like you bought it from the competitor.

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Oh fuck yeah and my son just thinks it's the worst thing ever. Wash dishes by hand now. Oh god I did. I haven't had a dishwasher since I moved back home and let me tell you it's a pain in the ass.

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There's always fucking dishes and they're always fucking like. Yeah it's kind of like I don't fucking care. I thought I came up with a grandmaster plan I'm like fuck this I'm only going to have 14 forks.

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That means two forks one fork a day for the week me and my son and fuck that like you have to wash them that way dishes won't pile up. Well that didn't fucking work that didn't fucking work at all. It was the worst fucking idea.

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I'm still having to wash shit I fucking hate it. I hate dishes and it makes it it puts a damper on my life because I want to cook.

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But then I think about I'm like but I don't want to wash dishes that sounds good but I don't want to fucking wash all those dishes exactly washing dishes is fine but it just takes up too much time especially when you're cooking which takes up a lot of my fucking time and meal prepping to just fucking takes up all my fucking time but I'm like I don't like fucking

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half of the takeout shit and then just whatever fuck my life. Okay really quick what are you drinking because I totally bypass that shit.

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I'm getting loose on the goose today.

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So great goose and some, I know cranberry juice and my son's like do you have a UTI.

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They said no. No. Why mom is drinking that second whatever drink there is on the market now I saw on TV. Because we all right. Yeah, but that's what I'm doing I'm doing some some goose.

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Okay. Well guess what I'm no longer a punk bitch I'm like if I'm a rock star I should drink like a rock star so I just had my first shot of I guess I shouldn't call it a shot. My first serving of Bombay sapphire on the rocks because I'm not a pussy anymore.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, I'm feeling good smells like yeah but you know whatever and then of course I have my my hydration which is vodka crystallite fruit punch is the flavor once we got.

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Fuck yeah you double fisting. That's right big shit I got like three shots left of Don Julio 70 and I'm like you know what I need and then I looked at my you always asked me like what how is that sapphire not gone yet I think I have like four shots left of that so I was just like

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okay I'll order from Sam's the Don Julio 70 once I'm done with the fucking sapphire.

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Yeah, I really want some sapphire now I'm going to put a in my.

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It tastes really good.

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It tastes really fucking good I'm like you know what I'm back on it now I don't give a fuck.

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Yes, I'm going to put some break.

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Some sapphire shots and some Tito shots in my council in my car from my lunch breaks.

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Oh my god let's talk about Friday because I was running late and I fucking look at the clock it's 558 I'm like god damn it I have to leave because you know I start work at six and I'm like I don't have time to make my fucking drink I get to work the meeting is canceled that I host because everybody's off except for me and like a couple people and I'm like.

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Good damn it I left my steno pad at home I was I was a hot mess Friday took forever to get over with but you know what it finally got over and I was just really mad I'm like I need to start carrying vodka in my console like pomegranate balls.

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Yeah girl fucking life savers man town you hide it under my beanie.

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Well because I don't want to throw them away until like I get home but then I keep thinking to myself well fuck if I got pulled over technically it's an open.

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Right open empty container at my lunch it's five o'clock leave me alone.

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And then you just hear clink clink clink clink clink clink so it's like my beanie in there.

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I can solve that problem real quick and then you're the clink clink on your head you're like no it's just my loose marbles.

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I'm like what the fuck Medusa are you here clink clink.

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Kill four people.

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Kill four people I swear.

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That's right.

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That's right.

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So speaking of vodka.

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I didn't realize you love feel Vaughn that comedian so I hope you start listen I just realized he has a podcast I should have realized that a long time ago I sent it to my brother and he's like yeah I've been listening to his podcast for like a long fucking time where the fuck you been I'm like, well maybe he should have shared it with me.

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I don't know.

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Well do you watch his stand up.

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I've been listening to his podcast.

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Yeah his stand up is fucking hilarious.

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He's so he's so funny.

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I fucking love him he's a he should be a national treasure right next to beast mode, Marcia on.

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Yeah, oh Theo he I was actually listening to one of his podcast he had who Bobby Lee.

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Oh yeah yeah yeah.

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Yeah, he's talking about Bobby Lisa.

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I went on these dating apps or whatever. He's like, I was getting so many hits, he's like, I was excited he was it till I would talk to a few of these gals that would hit him up, and they're just like, can you hook us up with Theo.

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That is fucking hilarious.

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I would have been fucking Bobby if I would have known you were on the dating site I would have hit you up to just for Theo.

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I've fucking I only listened to one episode and that's with Nick's worst and I fucking love Nick's worst and so I told you and I told my brother because my brother already listened to but I'm like, I guess he was stranded I don't know where the fuck you stranded during

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the day, but was that a resort he had a resort, because I guess a lock down and feels like how much money did you end up spending over there like a million dollars he was like, maybe half of that because he was stranded, but I was just like, fuck.

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I just, what's it called. Sorry, I'm already like tipsy.

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I guess Nick's worst and was at the bar all day one day. I texted you this, the waiters or the waitress or the waiters just like hey I just want to let you know you went through an entire bottle of great goose and he's like cool.

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Can I have one more drink, please.

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And I'm like, this is my boy if he asked me to marry him, I would be like yes let's go.

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Yes, I fucking love Nick's worst and he's so fucking hilarious.

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I was like his fucking stand up like somebody farted or something.

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Okay, that's my favorite stand up and it's no I guess it was a comedy central stand up because it's no you can't find it anywhere to like buy so you can stream it online.

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Like, yeah, that's my favorite stand up by him because I'm a fucking immature 12 year old tomboy forever.

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And then him in when he was in grandma's boy.

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I still love him in a freaking Reno 911 he's a little scary Terry the roller skating.

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Yes, that's where I first fell in love with her.

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And that fucking TV show period is just fucking.

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That should be I guess, I don't know, put in history I don't know what the proper term is but I fucking love Reno 911.

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Who's your favorite character on Reno 911. You know what I like the. Oh gosh, what's her name. It's, it's the girl that the.

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What's her name.

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Yes. Okay, true. Yes, my favorite one with the short hair that has a crush on them, the main guy or that, I guess with the little short shorts.

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Yeah, and I'm like, I'm always gay, but you know, he's so just fucking ridiculously stupid.

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Oh, she's my babe. I think she's mine too. I love that whole fucking just show is so hilarious and I started watching it so I'm like, because pops is a cop and right.

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I'm like, this is what you guys do. Remember when I don't know if you saw the episode where there was a bunch of girls going on a scavenger hunt and they needed to take a picture with a cop and a donut.

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Oh yeah.

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What about when they had to, I guess practice or I don't know what it's not called practice but like practice like a hazardous situation or like, or like they're training.

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And treaties in a fucking hazmat suit and just they fucking hold her down.

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Do you have a Roku TV.

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I do not. Okay, because Roku there's a Roku. I didn't realize Roku TV. I know it's a Roku TV but I'm like, oh Roku actually has a TV channel on their Roku TV.

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Anyways, they picked up. There's one there's two. I want to say there's two seasons brand new of Reno 911. That's exclusively just a Roku.

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Oh, yeah, and I want it's ridiculous as always but I don't remember. I don't think Nick is on there much.

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The role of Terry but I watched it was like the regular or that you know the normal cast so yeah. God that show and the fucking movie did you ever watch the movie. Oh yeah, of course.

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Of course.

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Yeah.

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Oh, fucking. This is fucking great great that's. Yes.

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Okay, so you know we're in the month of November right.

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Thank God Halloween's over.

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Right. Thank you. You know what there's I have to ask us people still and I fucking love Halloween I love fucking horror movies.

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But can you take the decorations down from your fucking house.

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Oh my god, bitch.

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The neighbor neighbor yeah I was just gonna ask.

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I don't know if a little fucker is going to have that shit up all year long probably, but then caddy to the other side of me. That neighbor already has Christmas motherfucking lights up and I'm thinking about fucking what am I going to do for Thanksgiving and what's

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like I keep getting black Friday emails from like retailers and I'm like bitch what the fuck calm down who still shops for fucking Christmas I fucking hate Christmas simply because I was born on Jan 5 my birthday is always overshadowed because of the fucking Christmas because of Jesus and because of New Year's so you know what kindly fuck off or both those two holidays it's

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my birthday. Absolutely that should be a national holiday right there. That's right.

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Fuck that.

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I'm just glad I'm down to one kiddo so it's like alright dude just put whatever the fuck you want in the Amazon cart and I will just get it delivered and I'm going to wrap up the fucking boxes I'm not even going to fucking take out nothing just whatever.

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That's what my brother did one year we were over at his house.

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I was it was two.

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Maybe three years ago my dad was still alive. And he's like hey I have Amazon up what do you want for Christmas I'm like.

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Okay and he's like just put it in the car I'm done.

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Yeah, see smart minds think alike.

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I'm like oh that's really smart I normally just give you cards or whatever. Yeah, and then you don't have to get that awkward fucking whatever a vase or something like how the fuck am I going to wrap this like no it comes in a fucking box and it looks all pretty.

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A big handle of fucking vodka or don Julio 70 call it a day. Oh my gosh my dad one year bought me a membership to like Bev mo.

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Yes and what's the membership give you or whatever.

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I would get well I'm not really a wine drinker but fuck it if there's alcohol in it I'll take it but I would get five bottles of wine every month every month.

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Oh like one of the month club or whatever. Yeah but you got five of them you get a re sling of fucking red wine a pin I don't don't quote me on how I'm saying.

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Yeah, that was crap for it. And I'm like okay got all that shit, and I would get fucking 50% off of my purchase over $50 so you got to.

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Oh wow. Yeah for the fucking year and I was like, what you daddy.

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This is fucking the best gift ever fucking best gift ever but I don't think we have a Bev mo here and Oregon and I don't know if they.

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I don't I used to like frequent Bev mo when I lived in Huntington Beach. Um, but I don't remember that that was.

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It was like a Bev mo Christmas fucking wonderful goddamn gift ever and I feel bad because my dad's birthday is on Christmas.

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Oh, that's right. Yeah, and I'm always just like he's always very Christmas and giving me gives him like that is just so shitty because it's your birthday dude, like gosh, so I always go like out.

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I'll get him nice last.

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Okay, so he still drinks. Oh, my dad, my dad says, I would come down I would love to meet your dad.

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No, are you sure. I'm totally fucking sure.

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And speaking of meeting people remember because I picked up my fucking frame my, my custom framed Baroque Medusa thing on whatever day was Friday.

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I passed by Chili's I and then I have a flashback of the time that I was already at Chili's and then you showed up with a guy.

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Julian. Yeah, your friend or your boyfriend or I know that's my but that's my buddy.

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He was actually my roommate at the time. Oh, okay.

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Got it because I'm like, I remember her showing up with a guy one time and they were cool but I'm like, I don't know if their boy if that was your guy or what we were just all hanging out fucking getting drunk.

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Yeah, and he like picked up our tab and I was like, thank you bud.

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Like, no, yeah, I was like, hey, you can always come he's like you girls are a little too much.

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Really were not.

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No, I will.

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I'll go ahead.

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I was like, take a selfie of us and you're calling the bartender moobs.

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And then we were like, you were just in yet.

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I think I grabbed his moobs.

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Yeah, you're just like show us your moves and like, he kept telling us we need to simmer down and we were just not going to simmer down. I don't know.

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Yeah.

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And then we made him take a bunch of selfies of us or not selfies take pictures of us because back then I don't think we had selfie sticks or anything that no was it an actual camera or the phone.

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I shows up when you text or call me I have that picture still.

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Oh, you never show that to me when I saw. Okay, you have to show that to me again when are you have to show it to me when I we hook up again because I don't remember.

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You told me that but I'm like, I don't remember seeing. I don't remember that night at all.

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Oh my gosh, we looked.

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We were so young.

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We were so young and I still wore hoops.

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Oh my God, you still you still wore what hoop the earrings.

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Oh, I used to wear hoops all the time I haven't worn hoops I stopped wearing hoops because I have my head, those giant princess like headphones when I go to work.

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I have them permanently attached to my, my fucking head or my ear so I'm like I can't wear hoops because they get in the way so I actually now that you say do you wear earrings when you go to work.

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I do I wear.

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Okay, not the hoops that I wear on the weekend hoops.

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The door knockers bracelets.

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I don't wear the door knockers anymore but I really need to I hope my fucking holes didn't close up shit.

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But it does suck because if I'm on the phone and shit it's like, it gets in the way so I was just like I need and plus my hair is short so like I don't like to wear it because my hair short but normally if my hair is long like yours I'll tie it up or whatever.

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Yeah.

165
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:40,040
Oh yeah, did I ever tell you um so I don't think I dress black, but my boy my boy Blaine when I used to work at Long Beach.

166
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So I always have my hair tied up like in a knot. Do you know what they are one girl work called me top not when I used to work for the city of Long Beach because it was a high, a high bun and then yeah hoops.

167
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And then I guess just the way I dress or whatever with the AJ ones and shit. So fucking blame.

168
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Blaine is like, I'm like, oh yeah, I was telling him I'm like oh yeah I'm half Austrian and half Filipino.

169
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He's like, you ain't mixed with blood.

170
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And I'm like, no.

171
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He's like, what?

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He's like, I thought you were a light skinned black girl and I'm like, no.

173
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I'm like, I think you need to get your and this is before I actually knew Blaine right because I was telling my boy Marquise I'm like, look, I was going to tell him I've had black in me but I don't have like in me.

174
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Because you know my daughter is 25% black right.

175
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And I'm like but now that I know Blaine the way I know Blaine I was just like, whatever boy.

176
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But I'm like, no I think you need to go the optometrist he's like I thought you were a light skinned black girl.

177
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You need to go to the doctor.

178
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You need glasses.

179
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Girl I got that my whole life because my Islander hair.

180
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Or if guys would.

181
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I would hook up with a dude and we're in a relationship and I would take a shower and don't do shit to my hair until the morning.

182
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Whoa.

183
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Like whoa and then there is a point in life, my life where I was a little chubby and the weight just goes in a certain area.

184
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Like, I mean, it would be nice.

185
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My arms would just kind of pan out but no.

186
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It doesn't just go straight to a butt and it's like what the fuck so that's where it's supposed to go.

187
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I guess you know pays my stomach is just goes to the booty that's fine and I will never forget I constantly living in so Cal.

188
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I would go to liquor store and I remember there's like a good looking black dude and he's just like, suck girl.

189
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Hey, so you got black in you and I didn't have my hair straight at that.

190
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I was just like I go to the store.

191
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So I was like, no, and I fell right into it.

192
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So do you want some?

193
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,040
I was like, oh, dude, that's a good one.

194
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Gotta give it to you.

195
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That's a good one.

196
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But no, thank you.

197
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:23,040
You know what's crazy is so my daughter is Austrian Filipino black and Hawaiian and she has the thinnest fucking lips.

198
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And then there's me who's half Filipino and I look like my fucking dad Austrian but I have the fullest fucking lips and somebody was like, see, somebody told me that like those are white girl lips and I'm like, well, I'm not fucking white, but well, I guess Austrian is white.

199
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But I'm just like, I don't know.

200
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I'm like, I don't know how my daughter did not get full lips with being like 25% Filipino Hawaiian and fucking black.

201
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Girl, I got hair lips to every fucking doing that Mexican thing where I just draw over the.

202
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Oh, go ahead.

203
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I'm sorry.

204
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No, I'm just saying like fuck how the fuck do I have these little fucking hair lips.

205
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And then my daughter's born and then she's like boom, like she got like a like Botox or just like boom just like these cute little fucking lips.

206
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I'm like, damn, got some luscious lips like shit.

207
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The fuck happened here.

208
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And now that we're talking about I guess genetics or whatever so my daughter doesn't have full lips.

209
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But she got my dad's green eyes.

210
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Oh my God, or I guess my dad had blue my dad had blue eyes but obviously if my daughter is black Hawaiian, Austrian Filipino, her eyes are green.

211
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And I'm just like you got that from pop out I'm like I'm so fucking jealous like I have fucking brown eyes like I have the shit brown eyes right but yeah, like well at least my daughter panned out good.

212
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I'm telling you, I know my mother has like these hazel green eyes and shit and I get the brown fucking shit eyes and my dad's like it's because you're full of shit.

213
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That's why your eyes.

214
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I said all right well to say agreed.

215
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Thanks pop. Yeah. Yeah, I get your shitty brown eyes then because you're full of shit too.

216
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Right. Full of shitter. Yeah.

217
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I was gonna go with November before I forget because you know I'm already fucking lit the fuck up. Okay, so it's the month of November and I'm looking on my Google calendar because that's where I schedule all my shit I don't know if you use Google the Google calendar or if you have appointments or whatever.

218
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I got the fucking outlook calendar that's my only calendar is work.

219
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So I use I use Google for my calendar right I'm like, Oh, okay so it's the month of November that's great. You know Thanksgiving is this month right.

220
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Yes, right. But as of November 1 November month the entire month of November is Native American month and I'm like, how rude is that it's Native American month but where it celebrate celebrating Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving is what when the right hand comes over and fucking says guess what I'm going to eat your corn.

221
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I'm going to cornhole you and now your land is mine to the Native American. How fucked up is that.

222
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I know.

223
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I know.

224
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Miracle.

225
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I'm just fucking rude I'm like, can you pick another month for Native Americans.

226
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You know, yeah, I can you stop keeping their whole town in cages.

227
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Oh, guess what, really, I do have a casino.

228
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Oh yeah, fucking that's.

229
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Fuck, fuck that.

230
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So I don't know, but yeah, I don't I don't honestly I just play along with the whole, and it's mostly for my kids sake I guess because I don't want them to be weirdos and like oh you know Jehovah witness like we don't celebrate, but I kind of.

231
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,040
Yeah, like what the fuck we're not eating turkey.

232
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I'm fucking over turkey but I was I saw a commercial today because my mom fucking wants to make turkey and I'm like it's always dried out.

233
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And I'm gonna stuff the turkey with stuffing to order she make it separate.

234
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,040
Or does she make stuff.

235
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,040
Does she does make stuffing does she put it inside the.

236
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:28,040
I don't know I'm fucking over I'm like I don't even want to be here for Thanksgiving.

237
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I was watching them live TV because you know my brother subscribes to yeah or is it yeah no I'm sorry you to TV for the fucking NFL season. Okay, but Popeyes has, I guess.

238
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Asian Turkey. Yeah, and I saw that commercial commercial this morning when I'm watching ESPN I'm like, if we're.

239
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I just, I don't know, are you doing Thanksgiving I can't, I love my family but I can't do my family for things. Well the good thing is is that I don't fucking have family up here, except my sister and my niece but they're going out of town so okay and.

240
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The G unit was her birthday is coming up and I was like well okay I don't know is either Thanksgiving.

241
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I can do both no. But yeah, do you have to work on black writing.

242
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:42,040
Yeah I guess it's retail thing it's like a carnal sin if you don't work I don't know they that's what I thought. And I was like I'm not even on the floor I'm not even selling but well that's good.

243
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I'm gonna have to just fucking correct everybody's fucking time cards.

244
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This next coming week is this your last week, I guess for do I guess to cover for the person that's on vacation. Yes, yeah.

245
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I know then every other weekend I'll have off. Yeah.

246
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:13,040
Yes, thanks to heavens. Oh my gosh but yeah, June it's like, um, I'm totally coming over for Thanksgiving I said well then fuck.

247
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,040
I'm gonna make a.

248
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:24,040
You know, I'm thinking I was like maybe I'll just get one of those turkey breasts like I saw a little turkey breath I'm like I was just a fucking breath like.

249
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:38,040
We don't need no whole turkey I don't need it. I hate the whole get taking those gizzards out and all that shit I used to like it when I was happy and love, but now I'm just like fuck off everybody.

250
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,040
Nobody helps me clean the dishes.

251
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:53,040
Nobody cares like right and I don't have family here so it's like, but yeah I'm gonna do a small dinner it's just going to be turkey stuffing mashed potatoes.

252
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:57,040
Frickin green bean casserole.

253
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Some mac and cheese.

254
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Okay.

255
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,040
And that's about it.

256
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:07,040
I don't know what I'm going to do but I'm going to just try and little Wayne is.

257
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:22,040
I'm watching it's so undisputed on I guess ff Fox sports one little Wayne little Wayne that's that's okay so my guilty pleasure because I don't like this kind of wrap or whatever I like old school hip hop or whatever but the only one that I will listen to.

258
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:32,040
Well he's been around for at least 20 years as little Wayne but he's on under or I guess he's on undisputed on Fox sports one now, according to what I'm watching and I'm like,

259
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:37,040
we know what fucking Green Bay last week.

260
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:43,040
He bought it I thought he bought into like little Wayne is like the new Jay Z like Jay Z bought.

261
00:32:43,040 --> 00:33:01,040
Oh, whatever. Yes. Yeah, maybe that's why he ran out of the tunnel Green Bay last week and I'm like what the fuck is going on. Yeah, like he's like a fourth, like a quarter of an owner, like it's not like he didn't just buy the fucking team but he bought into it so he owns a chunk.

262
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:11,040
So speaking of NFL, you know they finally fired Josh McDaniels and the GM for my Raiders it's a brand new era week nine.

263
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:17,040
Nice. Nice. Who's who's up for grabs now. Who's who's gonna.

264
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:20,040
Antonio Pierce I want to say.

265
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:30,040
Oh, you know, okay so it's Antonio Pierce and he held a great press conference. They keep replaying it before the first 10 o'clock game this morning.

266
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,040
We're all about Raider pride.

267
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:40,040
Blah blah blah when we walk out of that tunnel. It's all about game time and swag and I'm like, bitch, we back.

268
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,040
Oh, no.

269
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,040
Oh, no.

270
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:57,040
And I guess Mark Davis supposedly apologized the entire fucking organization or whatever last week if I'm saying this correctly that he allowed this to go on for so long. I'm just like, okay whatever like

271
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:19,040
and Tom Brady if I'm saying this correctly Tom Brady wanted to buy in or be part owner with the I guess for the Raiders and I'm like, you know what even though I'm against Tom Brady, Mark Davis just say yes because you're doing a shitty fucking job because at the end of the day if your players are not performing correctly it's all about leadership and it falls on leadership even though

272
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,040
for sure.

273
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,040
Exactly right.

274
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,040
Yeah.

275
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,040
Yeah.

276
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:36,040
You don't want to put your all in it. You like the money. Yeah, but then when you have a fucked up leader you're like listen dude I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want to do and then it just gets all discombobulated nobody's in connection.

277
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:40,040
Nobody has communication. And then that's where all the loses come from.

278
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:45,040
You got to blame it on leadership not the player on the field they're only doing what they told.

279
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:52,040
Yeah, and that applies to work that applies to your fucking life.

280
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,040
And everything else.

281
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,040
Be responsible.

282
00:34:56,040 --> 00:35:00,040
Fucking man up.

283
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:05,040
Oh, shit. Oh, okay. I really want to just cover something.

284
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,040
Sure.

285
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,040
Because it just happened to me.

286
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:21,040
Oh, and well, it's happened previously. And I don't like to really talk about it. But it's like this catch catch. Like, I don't know.

287
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:36,040
When, let's just say when's the last time I'm going to ask you when is the last time you like you tripped or fell in public or like people fucking saw you and shit when's the last time that has happened or has it ever happened.

288
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:43,040
Um, you know what that used to happen all the fucking time, but I don't really go out anymore.

289
00:35:43,040 --> 00:36:00,040
I don't want to shut down and just be like, uh, uh, uh, okay, so, okay, I'm going to tough off that when you see somebody, a coworker or just whatever just just a rando in public and they tripping fall.

290
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:05,040
Do you offer help? Like, Oh, are you okay?

291
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:14,040
Do you offer them help or do you just kind of like, Oh, try to hold in the laugh because it's always funny when somebody fucking falls.

292
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:27,040
Like, what do you do when somebody like right in front of you where boom, you could either offer to help them or just like, do you just try to ignore it because, you know, they're probably embarrassed.

293
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:29,040
Or what do you do?

294
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:39,040
Okay, well, hey, I have the best story for you as an example and be I'm an asshole. So just remember I'm an asshole.

295
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:47,040
And that's how it will always outshine being a good person. So that I give you the story.

296
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:59,040
So I was in derive, derive college from 1997 and 1999. I want to summer around there, right? So my college best friend Tina, you've met her.

297
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:10,040
Yes, lover. We had, um, we had to dress up. God, I can't believe I dressed up today. We had to dress up and give speeches or reports, whatever the fuck and present or fucking bullshit.

298
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:19,040
We're walking down a flight of stairs. Why is Tina in her fucking pumps and her sports? What's it called? Like her pants suit?

299
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:29,040
Okay, so I'm walking behind her and she fucking slips going down the stairs and lands on her ass on the floor, like at the bottom, right?

300
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:34,040
Everybody rushes to her fucking aid.

301
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:44,040
Don't tell me. And here's Medusa at the top of the stairs laughing and pointing at her like, bitch, you fucking dumb.

302
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:50,040
I'm laughing the entire time and I'm like, are you okay? Because everybody's fucking helping her. Of course I would help her.

303
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:58,040
But if everybody's helping you, like, why do I need to help you if there's four fucking guys helping you? Or maybe there's three guys.

304
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:07,040
It was just like our normal posse. It was like four guys. It was Dennis, Tony, probably Tori.

305
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:14,040
And okay, so three guys, I want to say, and then it was me and her and I'm just, I'm like, I'm just a total fucking asshole.

306
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:26,040
So I laugh. Yeah, you know what? I'll help you, but I'm going to laugh the entire time, but there was three guys. So I'm just going to stay at the top of the stairs and laugh at you.

307
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:39,040
All right, Nina. And I will, I'm an asshole. I swear to God, I am so sorry to anybody who knows me. I'm an asshole. I own up to it. I don't know what to tell you.

308
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:40,040
Yeah.

309
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:49,040
It's all good. What about you? We know we're getting, we know we're getting. Well, I do the same. I'm a fucking bitch asshole. Like big time.

310
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:59,040
I love you. I will, I will watch you fall. Watch you kind of, you know, turtle.

311
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:15,040
You just don't know what happened. But I, I try not to, I try the asshole part of me tries not to laugh, but I hold it in so bad, my face turns red.

312
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:25,040
Are you okay? But I'm fucking dying and I have tears coming down and I'm trying so hard not to. But let's just say this.

313
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:37,040
When it happens to me, I'm just like, what the fuck? Like I, I get, I'm so, because I know karma exists.

314
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:46,040
It really does. I just do, I just try to bounce back like oops, oops, and just dust myself off or just like, I got it. Nobody worry about me. I got it.

315
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:57,040
Or what the fuck do I do? And it's so embarrassing. So one, when it happens to me, I'm like, fuck who saw, and I try to hurry up and glance.

316
00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:11,040
Just like, who the fuck saw this shit? Do I just ask like it didn't happen or just bounce back? What the fuck? I fucking hate it. Nobody, nobody ever comes to like, hey, are you okay? Oh shit, are you all right?

317
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,040
Nobody. Everybody's just like, fuck it.

318
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:24,040
That's because we're assholes and never get aided. So that's, and that's, and that, you know what, it's called karma. So I totally understand why nobody would ask, hey, Medusa, are you okay?

319
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:29,040
They would never ask me that because I would never help you. Yeah.

320
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,040
They're just like this bitch karma.

321
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:39,040
Yeah. I'm like, okay, it's funny. It's funny. It's funny. And I'll laugh too until it starts hurting. I'm like, ah, fuck.

322
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:42,040
I'm like, I'm really ankle.

323
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:55,040
I was speaking up. I have a story for you because I know what you mean when you're just, I call it lap it up like lap it up muscle lips. So this was like, I was still living at home before I moved to Huntington Beach, and my brother was like, hey, do you want to,

324
00:40:55,040 --> 00:41:14,040
um, my, or my sister-in-law, his wife will pick you up and we'll go to Tokyo, Waco, Waco, whatever the fuck for not for Christmas for dinner. I'm like, okay, that's cool. I get so lit up. Pomona bullets. When they drop me off back at home, I'm doing cartwheels in the fucking

325
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:29,040
front line. Now, do I know how to do cartwheels? Of course not. Of course not. So apparently, because I'm blacked out, I fucking fall. I wake up the next morning and I'm like, where the fuck are my sunglasses at?

326
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:46,040
And I text my brother, I'm like, did I leave them at the restaurant? He's like, bitch, go out on the lawn. They're all the fucking lawn, you dumb bitch. I was doing cartwheels and I'm like, I was doing cartwheels. I go out there and my glasses are broken into three pieces. He's like, yeah, he's like, you need to like, let

327
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:47,040
lay up.

328
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:53,040
You'll never, never, ever, ever, ever.

329
00:41:53,040 --> 00:42:08,040
I fucking, I fucking fell flat on my face and my fucking glasses actually broke and they fucking dabbed and I got the clap on my nose.

330
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:13,040
I was like, fuck, they're like $300 glasses. Not anymore.

331
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:23,040
Yeah. And do you think anybody helped me and said in here's your glasses? No, fuck no, because I'm an asshole. I don't expect anything fucking more from anybody.

332
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:41,040
There was a time where, oh gosh, okay, so we're gonna like just roll it back. I was working at Mrs. Fields Cookies, and my mother refused to drive me to work. And it was like, okay, I'm just gonna walk to work, which was about maybe a mile

333
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:55,040
away. So I'm, I, it was at the Moncler Plaza. Okay. Okay. All right. And so I had to cross mountain and it's one of those streets. Oh, that's a busy fucking street bitch. Fuck yeah, you're like talking about four lanes.

334
00:42:55,040 --> 00:43:10,040
And then there was that island where if you can't make it across where it says walk, you stay in the little island and you keep pushing so you can walk again. Yeah. And yeah, so I'm walking and I have this funky little fucking

335
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:29,040
farm. It's khakis and a red fucking pillow. Did you have your apron on? Yeah, no, I had my apron over my shoulder. Yeah, I had my yes. Yep. And my little visor. Yeah, I had it off. And I'm fucking walking and everybody's at a red light.

336
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:49,040
And it's just it's a busy street. I fucking fall I fall and I fucking eat it like I just fucking fall. Yes. Yes. And to the point where my little stupid khakis ripped, and I had little fucking pieces of concrete or whatever.

337
00:43:49,040 --> 00:44:02,040
And I'm like, I don't know how long it felt like I was laying there for like two minutes, but I know it wasn't. But it felt like it. And I just was like, what the fuck.

338
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:21,040
Yeah, I'm like getting my stupid little visor my stupid fucking apron that flew out of my hands and shit. And people I get up and I look at the cars and they're just laughing. And a couple people honk to like, this is so funny.

339
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:40,040
And I was like, out in my fucking khakis are full of blood because my knees. Yeah. And I just like, I just don't know. I don't want I have now I have this big words like, I ain't crossing the goddamn street like no, no, I'm going to Uber.

340
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:52,040
I'm going to, I don't know. No, no. But yeah, it was, it was horrible. It was motherfucking horrible. It was horrible and I go to work and I just have blood.

341
00:44:52,040 --> 00:45:03,040
Fucking blood. Yeah, I'm just like, I don't fucking know like I don't even know what to do like this is and I had to pull out little pieces of like street.

342
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:14,040
Yeah, it was fucking horrible. That was like my first incident where I fell in public and like, nobody knew me. Well, maybe they did they're like there goes that bitch going.

343
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:23,040
Like, bitch. Yeah, that bitch just fucking fall in it and it was embarrassing. It was so embarrassing.

344
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:41,040
And so recently, I'm decorating the training room at work and there's all these fucking cords like the extension cords and we have all these lights and we're doing this mad hatter thing party, whatever the fuck.

345
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:54,040
And I come into my my office and I have to go through the training room and then I had the little cell block little office. There's so many fucking cords and shit. And I fucking trip.

346
00:45:54,040 --> 00:46:10,040
And I fall on this fake ass grass that we laid down and shit and I'm just like, yeah, and there's people on the computers doing like their training and they just kind of turn their chairs around they're like, and they just turned back.

347
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:16,040
So I just bounced up and I like that fix my time card guess what I'm not gonna fucking help.

348
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:26,040
But I fucking ate it and again it was like road rash on my fucking knees. I'm like, no way. I'm gonna need me surgery for the next 10 years.

349
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:42,040
I'm fucking falling and shit and I was like, okay, good because this is like game on game on and then I'm such a poor sport to so it's like all those attributes that I have. I'm like, fuck off. I can't wait to you guys fall I can't wait.

350
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:53,040
And so I remove a fucking slippery when what fucking sign and fucking fucking eat it bitch like.

351
00:46:53,040 --> 00:47:05,040
And then I'm gonna laugh like I always do. But the funny thing is that like they must be so scared, like they won't laugh. Well they won't laugh out loud while I'm down.

352
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:08,040
But they'll laugh online like did you see that.

353
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:15,040
They're probably they're probably fucking turned around took a little fucking pick and put it on the second Instagram or some shit I don't know.

354
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:31,040
But I'm just like, damn dude, I can't keep. What the fuck I can't fall anymore but I fall. I fall the time I fall a lot and you know what the only time I would fall or like when you were talking about tripping earlier.

355
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:48,040
I would, it's not one of like maybe 10 years ago 10 to 20 years ago when I when I was heavy on alcohol. I would never. When I was sober was when I would trip and like, like fall and catch myself but it was never when I was drunk.

356
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:53,040
It was so weird. And I'm like maybe I should just be in a full time fucking trigger.

357
00:47:53,040 --> 00:48:01,040
Yeah, or when I do fall when I'm drunk. I'm like, I don't remember. I'm just like where's this booze bruise comes from.

358
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:16,040
I have one on my fucking thigh right now and I don't know where I got it from. I'm just like this shit needs to go I keep massaging it like you know if you massage a fucking bruise or whatever like it gets really it's yellow and brown shit but I'm like it leaves faster if you massage it.

359
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:24,040
So I'm just like this is this is so fucking ugly it looks like somebody just fucking I don't know what they fucking like your battered wife. Yeah.

360
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:40,040
Fuck yeah I do that all the time like oh it hurts and I just massage and I'm like deep muscle and then I look after I get out of the shower and I'm putting lotion on and I'm like oh shit it's a big ass.

361
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:46,040
I thought I was just like a sore muscle. But no, no.

362
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:59,040
There was a time where my dad was helping me move into an apartment in upland from the Kingsley house and I was going to an apartment, the three bedroom was nice downtown upland whatever.

363
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:18,040
And we were bringing up a fact I was on the top floor so it was two stories I was on top and they had those old school stairs where it's just like, I don't know if they're fucking just painted cement or some shit like I don't know but it was there.

364
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:29,040
They were rough. And we're trying to bring up a refrigerator my dad has a dolly and we strapped it and stuff and my dad tells me he's going to pull it up.

365
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:41,040
And I just need to push from from from the bottom or whatever. And we're doing that like one step at a time one step at a time one step at a time, and my dad sneezes and he's like fuck.

366
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:52,040
And he like let's go. And I'm trying to hold it he runs back down and were you at the bottom of the.

367
00:49:52,040 --> 00:50:02,040
Are you were you. Yeah, I was at the bottom. And he's at the top to pulling it. And then he let's go. And then it goes.

368
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:12,040
And then he runs and he grabs it to save me but it's too late. It's too late. I fucking my knees fall and I just slide down like backwards.

369
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:17,040
And my chin like boom boom boom on the fucking stairs.

370
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:33,040
And my dad's all God damn it you fucking idiot.

371
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:48,040
Remember when you told me or when you told me a few episodes ago like when you boogie board and like you got our guests.

372
00:50:48,040 --> 00:51:03,040
And I'm just like God damn it dude like you fucking idiot you fucking idiot and I was like how my idiot when I just went down eight stairs hit my chin on each mother fucking one.

373
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:08,040
I know like everybody's like you had a parent yes I fucking did.

374
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:26,040
You know what there will never be another fucking generation that like generation X that's all I'm gonna say. I'm telling you. I'm like, man, I'm making myself another drink so nice with all the extra noise because I'm already out.

375
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:35,040
Shit I'm waiting for the fucking liquor store to open goddamn time change I'm like what you know my body is telling me it's open.

376
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:38,040
I know I pick my myself clock.

377
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:42,040
So how far is your Costco from where you live.

378
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:53,040
Shit, it's like fucking I got to drive like 35 minutes just to get there, why that's when I figured because I'm like you should just stock up or, um, stock up.

379
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:56,640
I think my little liquor store in town is in business like

380
00:51:57,240 --> 00:52:01,840
strictly 50% because of me, but and they and they always tell me when I go

381
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:05,240
They're like, are you podcasting this Sunday?

382
00:52:05,240 --> 00:52:08,400
And I guess you need to listen to the list any of this

383
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:14,560
Great like shit, but they're just more of like oh

384
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:20,060
You know, I want to keep it light. I'm not gonna say it, but there are more just like hey

385
00:52:20,060 --> 00:52:23,020
Hey, we can talk about guns too, but

386
00:52:23,740 --> 00:52:29,860
Like basically that's not really our our goal or that's not one of our main topics, but yeah

387
00:52:42,900 --> 00:52:44,900
His collect call

388
00:52:44,900 --> 00:52:49,260
Motherfucker he would know about guns and they're like we're making all these

389
00:52:50,220 --> 00:52:52,940
12 and then then we're gonna go to the

390
00:52:53,780 --> 00:52:59,460
Yeah, that's fucking awesome because like I'm fucking and our a all thought way like let's do this

391
00:52:59,460 --> 00:53:03,180
But shit and they're like well what when shit go down

392
00:53:03,380 --> 00:53:08,660
We won't be on top of the roof and we're gonna be like you want to come or you want to fucking be one damn

393
00:53:08,660 --> 00:53:16,300
I was like, yeah, I'll fucking be one of you like like legit. I got MRE's like you need me on your team

394
00:53:17,180 --> 00:53:19,660
JRE Joe Rogan experience. That's me

395
00:53:20,300 --> 00:53:22,980
Yeah, I'm like fuck it. You're gonna need me

396
00:53:23,580 --> 00:53:26,820
Plus I'm cute. I could distract the fucking enemy

397
00:53:28,460 --> 00:53:30,700
Bend over bitch. Yeah, boom

398
00:53:30,700 --> 00:53:35,700
I'm just speaking up when shit goes down. You better be ready. So last week on Instagram

399
00:53:35,700 --> 00:53:37,420
I you're always busy at work

400
00:53:37,420 --> 00:53:40,060
So I don't like to like send you because you're not on Instagram

401
00:53:40,060 --> 00:53:42,260
So I don't like to send you the links because I know you're busy

402
00:53:42,260 --> 00:53:48,900
But Nate Diaz was hanging out with fucking Cypress Hill and I'm and they do yeah, Nate did Nate put, you know

403
00:53:48,900 --> 00:53:54,900
There he's both our husband. So when Nate puts he was walking out wherever the fuck he was walking out with

404
00:53:55,620 --> 00:53:58,660
Be real he's like when she was walking out with

405
00:53:58,660 --> 00:54:03,220
Be real he's like when shit goes down be ready. I'm like, that's right bitch

406
00:54:03,860 --> 00:54:05,860
That's right

407
00:54:07,060 --> 00:54:10,780
Sometimes I've watched these like apocalyptic movies and I'm like yes

408
00:54:11,220 --> 00:54:15,700
Because we're gonna fucking just be like oh, yeah fucking roll up on Nick Diaz

409
00:54:16,540 --> 00:54:22,980
Fucking camp. I love Nate Diaz. You know him and you know him and Nick his brother

410
00:54:22,980 --> 00:54:27,420
They swam from Alcatraz to fucking mainland. I guess. Oh, yeah

411
00:54:27,420 --> 00:54:32,460
I was at two or three times and I remember when I worked at the city of Long Beach, um

412
00:54:33,300 --> 00:54:38,420
There was one guy who was still in the old City Hall and I don't remember what guy was talking about

413
00:54:38,420 --> 00:54:41,660
He's like, yeah, nobody's ever survived. I don't like what you're talking about

414
00:54:41,660 --> 00:54:46,820
I'm like the brothers fucking did it like twice or three times and he's like, what are you talking about like the

415
00:54:46,820 --> 00:54:50,140
and I forgot their names at the time because like like you baited me

416
00:54:50,140 --> 00:54:55,780
I'm like the stock just slaps brothers and I had a fucking goal. Yeah, the fucking Diaz brothers

417
00:54:55,780 --> 00:54:58,740
They did it at least twice because they don't fucking care

418
00:54:59,380 --> 00:55:01,380
Yeah, they don't fuck around

419
00:55:02,100 --> 00:55:05,420
Fucking there. They're the true definition of a man

420
00:55:06,780 --> 00:55:08,780
Yes, I

421
00:55:14,180 --> 00:55:22,020
Hung out with or I guess I met up for all you can eat Korean barbecue yesterday with two my Long Beach co-workers and

422
00:55:22,660 --> 00:55:24,500
I

423
00:55:24,500 --> 00:55:27,340
Was talking to Ernesto and I don't remember what we were talking about

424
00:55:27,540 --> 00:55:33,580
We're talking about Nate obviously and I'm just like I love Nate Nate Diaz and all his fucking scar tissue on his face

425
00:55:34,860 --> 00:55:40,260
No, I won't kiss all that scar tissue and call it a fucking day. I fucking love Nate

426
00:55:41,340 --> 00:55:44,820
I'm on I like when it looks like spider webs. I hate spiders

427
00:55:45,580 --> 00:55:47,580
spider webs on your skin

428
00:55:47,580 --> 00:55:53,380
And please and you know, I gotta appreciate that his ears are not all fucked up cauliflower like the rest of the

429
00:55:53,380 --> 00:55:56,140
anime fucking bandwagon people

430
00:55:57,180 --> 00:55:59,180
Yeah, oh

431
00:56:02,460 --> 00:56:07,660
My god, but yeah, so I yeah

432
00:56:11,620 --> 00:56:14,700
I'm just like, oh my gosh, oh so

433
00:56:16,700 --> 00:56:20,580
Just I've been watching like ridiculousness and I

434
00:56:20,580 --> 00:56:22,580
I

435
00:56:23,940 --> 00:56:28,220
Like I'm gonna that's on who is on hulu because I don't have regular TV

436
00:56:28,500 --> 00:56:33,980
Well, it's on MTV. So if they dream it on who I gotta look it up

437
00:56:36,140 --> 00:56:37,740
So

438
00:56:37,740 --> 00:56:44,180
There was just like this one little like blurt that he was doing where he's just like hey, you know when

439
00:56:45,180 --> 00:56:48,020
screaming and and it was like all the girls are just like

440
00:56:48,020 --> 00:56:52,620
And it's just because they're gonna get proposed to and they're like

441
00:56:55,820 --> 00:57:01,660
They do that type of shit and they I don't know that kind of sounds like a streak but not a scream right

442
00:57:02,420 --> 00:57:06,260
Like oh god, I don't like those fucking bitches, but I'm

443
00:57:07,660 --> 00:57:15,580
But the last time you scream do you even recall like whether it's because somebody fucking

444
00:57:15,580 --> 00:57:25,500
Like you were scared in a haunted house you were on a roller coaster ride or maybe you fucking fell and you thought you broke your leg

445
00:57:25,820 --> 00:57:33,140
Like maybe you're giving birth like what's last time you scream like maybe three months ago when I saw a giant fucking

446
00:57:33,140 --> 00:57:36,460
Roach in the street and that fucking Roach was like almost

447
00:57:37,100 --> 00:57:41,740
I'm well, I'm exaggerating. It's not the size of Fenway, but it was at least like

448
00:57:41,740 --> 00:57:47,540
I'm looking at my finger now. So it's probably about two and a half inches long

449
00:57:49,660 --> 00:57:51,660
And I just

450
00:57:56,300 --> 00:58:00,220
You bro, it was so big I called it bro

451
00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:05,500
I

452
00:58:05,980 --> 00:58:06,940
Yeah

453
00:58:06,940 --> 00:58:14,220
That and then like getting like I guess getting startled when I get startled or somebody scares me or whatever like if I'm not expecting

454
00:58:14,300 --> 00:58:20,100
You to be there or whatever and I get startled. I fucking scream or I guess it's not a shriek. I scream

455
00:58:20,660 --> 00:58:22,020
What about you?

456
00:58:22,020 --> 00:58:24,020
Yeah, like when I

457
00:58:27,500 --> 00:58:30,380
Last time I really screamed because I hate

458
00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:35,060
Spiders I can deal with spiders that are smaller than a quarter

459
00:58:35,060 --> 00:58:41,260
Or what but the spiders here when one of those motherfuckers was in my car

460
00:58:41,260 --> 00:58:48,060
And it just came down my rear view mirror and I'm fucking going like 70 and the rain and I'm

461
00:58:48,580 --> 00:58:50,580
mad everybody in the spider just

462
00:58:51,700 --> 00:58:56,140
Screamed I screamed I think that was last time I fucking screamed

463
00:58:57,780 --> 00:59:00,300
But I hate spiders I just fuck

464
00:59:00,300 --> 00:59:05,500
Oh, so speaking of Oregon. So when I hung out I I met up with

465
00:59:06,380 --> 00:59:12,140
My co-workers from Long Beach. I'm Ernesto and Fabian yesterday and I'm like so I went to Oregon

466
00:59:12,140 --> 00:59:15,620
He they're like, okay, and I'm like, have you ever heard of Nutria?

467
00:59:16,020 --> 00:59:20,660
And they're like no and I'm like and I tell her I tell Ernesto

468
00:59:20,660 --> 00:59:26,300
I'm like new just sounds like it would be like a protein shake right like or like some kind of protein or whatever or supplement

469
00:59:26,300 --> 00:59:28,940
He's like, yeah, I'm like, no, no, it's not that at all

470
00:59:28,940 --> 00:59:30,940
Oh, I'm like, it's a beaver

471
00:59:31,100 --> 00:59:34,140
It's a cross between a beaver and a fucking rat

472
00:59:34,420 --> 00:59:39,820
So what I'm like when I tell Pomona bullets like when Mona bullets tells me this shit like it happens all the time

473
00:59:39,820 --> 00:59:42,480
I fucking look it up and I'm like sure enough. It's a cross

474
00:59:42,980 --> 00:59:47,980
Crossbreed. I'm like so I tell Ernesto like so did the rat fuck the fucking

475
00:59:48,500 --> 00:59:54,780
Beaver or the beaver fuck the rat to make this fucking happen. Like I don't understand Oregon at all

476
00:59:54,780 --> 00:59:55,900
I

477
00:59:55,900 --> 01:00:02,540
Would think it was like a little fucking rat that just I don't know the fucking beaver, but they're not little these rats are

478
01:00:02,740 --> 01:00:04,740
Like New York like New York

479
01:00:08,180 --> 01:00:10,180
Disgusting and

480
01:00:10,180 --> 01:00:14,340
Yeah, I just look up Nutria, bro. I'm like they exist and I swear to God

481
01:00:14,340 --> 01:00:18,100
I don't know who fucked who but there's a crossbreed going on in Oregon

482
01:00:18,100 --> 01:00:25,060
And they're gross and I fucking told you I was popping their asses like you should pop them and then fucking roast them

483
01:00:25,060 --> 01:00:27,060
And then sell them on the road

484
01:00:28,860 --> 01:00:30,860
We're like roll kill that's right

485
01:00:31,940 --> 01:00:33,940
Like no, it's not even road kill

486
01:00:34,620 --> 01:00:38,340
What's it called rat race remember on rat race we're talking about raspberry

487
01:00:38,340 --> 01:00:42,860
Oh, yeah, when she and Kathy Bates is selling that fucking shit on the side of the road

488
01:00:45,980 --> 01:00:49,620
God I need to find that movie or see if it's streaming because

489
01:00:49,620 --> 01:00:54,460
That's even what I think I last watched it on Netflix

490
01:00:55,660 --> 01:00:57,180
Or maybe it was on Prime

491
01:00:57,180 --> 01:01:02,500
I still need to go to T-Mobile because I have free Netflix for a year and it's been out like month four now

492
01:01:02,500 --> 01:01:07,780
I still it's not working on my phone. So I still need to get that fucking fixed before my year

493
01:01:09,060 --> 01:01:11,740
Yeah, you're like excuse me. All right

494
01:01:13,940 --> 01:01:15,940
You gotta give me some back pain

495
01:01:15,940 --> 01:01:19,340
Oh, are you watching football right now?

496
01:01:19,340 --> 01:01:25,620
I am I was watching it on my phone because the Germany game Casey and dolphins

497
01:01:25,620 --> 01:01:27,620
Oh, who won that game?

498
01:01:27,620 --> 01:01:32,140
Fucking the last that I checked Casey was like fucking 30

499
01:01:32,660 --> 01:01:36,340
points and dolphins had zero in his third quarter

500
01:01:36,340 --> 01:01:39,460
So, um, darling darling

501
01:01:41,460 --> 01:01:43,460
Oh

502
01:01:43,460 --> 01:01:49,940
From Roseanne fucking wins got it. Yeah, the two always wins. I guess like fuck

503
01:01:50,660 --> 01:01:52,660
She fucked up Becky

504
01:01:56,180 --> 01:01:59,100
No, darling, but Becky was the oldest that's right. Yeah

505
01:01:59,100 --> 01:02:10,100
Yeah, the little sister wins again. Oh god, geez I was trying to do my rants and my rays

506
01:02:10,100 --> 01:02:12,100
I have I

507
01:02:13,140 --> 01:02:15,140
Did I write my rant down?

508
01:02:15,660 --> 01:02:17,660
I had a rant. I

509
01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:19,540
Don't remember my fucking rant

510
01:02:19,540 --> 01:02:23,860
I'm looking at my notes and I rewrote my notes cuz the notes were all over the place

511
01:02:23,860 --> 01:02:30,820
I don't remember what my rant was. Oh, I I know I have a rant. Oh god damn it. So wait, come on bitch

512
01:02:31,260 --> 01:02:32,740
She tried to

513
01:02:32,740 --> 01:02:35,740
Jump up and she missed but now she's oh

514
01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:38,420
Okay, so I have a rant

515
01:02:38,580 --> 01:02:43,340
You go with yours first, of course. Well, my like my rant kind of just oh

516
01:02:44,100 --> 01:02:47,580
Okay, well, I mean I really run a rant like

517
01:02:47,580 --> 01:02:54,540
It's a surprise birthday parties. I fucking I have you ever had one at what birthday party a surprise

518
01:02:55,140 --> 01:02:57,140
Birthday party where you walk in there like

519
01:02:58,540 --> 01:03:01,540
No, no god would you want one?

520
01:03:03,060 --> 01:03:09,300
No, I would be an asshole and like you guys need to prepare better because I really don't fucking care. I don't know I

521
01:03:10,180 --> 01:03:14,980
Fucking hate surprise birthday parties. I don't want to be a part of it. I don't want to hide behind a couch

522
01:03:14,980 --> 01:03:19,580
I don't know I don't want one either if somebody

523
01:03:20,220 --> 01:03:26,940
Thought they were going to do justice and be a good friend and give me a surprise birthday party

524
01:03:26,940 --> 01:03:29,180
I will fucking choke you like no

525
01:03:29,860 --> 01:03:34,300
I don't fucking want to be surprised. I don't fucking care

526
01:03:34,300 --> 01:03:38,900
I don't like surprises as far as a surprise birthday party goes

527
01:03:38,900 --> 01:03:45,220
Please don't like let me in let me tell you what type of fucking food I would like for my birthday

528
01:03:45,220 --> 01:03:50,180
Let me tell you what type of gift I would like let me tell you where I would like the fucking

529
01:03:50,900 --> 01:03:55,460
Party to be do not you know what and surprise you're an earth sign like me

530
01:03:55,460 --> 01:04:03,860
So we would like to prepare our own birthday surprise birthday parties because it's all about organization and then like just having it

531
01:04:03,900 --> 01:04:06,420
Yeah, no, you're an earth sign like me

532
01:04:06,420 --> 01:04:12,140
So I totally get where you're going from I'm just like just don't do that because if it's my birthday

533
01:04:12,140 --> 01:04:16,940
And needs to be about me like I don't want to surprise wedding like fucking

534
01:04:17,820 --> 01:04:19,820
Bitch are getting married

535
01:04:20,820 --> 01:04:26,700
Fucking no, thank you. No, I didn't want this dress and I didn't want those heels or I know

536
01:04:29,740 --> 01:04:34,380
That's a prize that is not a surprise that is a bullshit surprise

537
01:04:34,380 --> 01:04:40,460
It's like I just I hate the fact because I have been invited like we're doing a surprise birthday party

538
01:04:40,460 --> 01:04:44,540
Fuck your surprise birthday party. Does that bitch even want the fucking surprise birthday party?

539
01:04:44,540 --> 01:04:48,260
I don't want to even fucking condone this type of fucking behavior like I

540
01:04:50,380 --> 01:04:52,380
Love you so much

541
01:04:52,980 --> 01:04:58,820
Love you too. That was my rant. It's like fuck the surprise birthday parties if you're fucking like I

542
01:04:58,820 --> 01:05:03,940
Actually did one for my son when he turned three years old

543
01:05:06,580 --> 01:05:10,020
A three-year-old would not know anything about a surprise party, okay?

544
01:05:10,020 --> 01:05:14,260
Nope, and I and I told him I was like you ain't getting shit like you're only three

545
01:05:14,580 --> 01:05:21,140
We did it big the last two years blah blah blah blah blah and he's like okay and but

546
01:05:22,180 --> 01:05:27,580
I did have my my sister's come over to my apartment and they decorated really quick and I took them out

547
01:05:27,580 --> 01:05:32,740
But the only thing you're gonna get is we're gonna go to Denny's and he's he loved any that three years old

548
01:05:32,740 --> 01:05:40,780
So, okay, we went to Denny's they decorated the house and everything and my nephews and my niece my sisters

549
01:05:40,780 --> 01:05:47,300
They like had the lights off and stuff and they said surprise and he was so fucking happy. He was just like

550
01:05:48,300 --> 01:05:53,220
Like he was happy. He's like everybody here behind the couch and they said surprise

551
01:05:54,020 --> 01:05:55,140
and

552
01:05:55,140 --> 01:06:01,180
Like yeah, okay, so I can see he liked it. I wouldn't I wouldn't right

553
01:06:02,060 --> 01:06:07,260
Fucking don't now don't catch me off guard. I'm gonna fucking end up pulling out my fucking

554
01:06:07,860 --> 01:06:09,860
1911 and like popping people

555
01:06:11,820 --> 01:06:13,820
There you go

556
01:06:14,580 --> 01:06:17,860
Like nah, not today. No, it's my

557
01:06:17,860 --> 01:06:25,220
I don't like surprise birthday parties and I don't want to be a part of one. I don't want to hide behind a couch

558
01:06:25,220 --> 01:06:27,220
And I don't know

559
01:06:27,980 --> 01:06:32,140
I don't know what the fuck that's all about. Maybe I'm just a grump, but no

560
01:06:33,300 --> 01:06:35,300
You're just fucking old like me like

561
01:06:35,620 --> 01:06:41,020
Just have my fucking drink call today. Can you imagine if we're like son wings that yeah

562
01:06:41,020 --> 01:06:48,340
Exactly just be like bitch guess what your birthday lands on fucking football like or whatever like yeah, fuck it

563
01:06:48,900 --> 01:06:54,860
Fucking let's invite who who we inviting yet not that one. Yeah, we can buy that one not that one

564
01:06:54,860 --> 01:07:00,860
I need control. Don't don't just surprise. That's not a motherfucking good surprise for me

565
01:07:00,860 --> 01:07:06,220
I don't even know what a good surprise would be if my fucking lotto numbers

566
01:07:06,220 --> 01:07:11,900
Who fucking showed up on the goddamn screen of the TV? That's a great surprise

567
01:07:12,460 --> 01:07:14,460
But I'm not like fuck that

568
01:07:18,820 --> 01:07:23,220
Surprise here's two gallons of fucking gin. Yes, that's that's

569
01:07:24,980 --> 01:07:26,980
Call that a present

570
01:07:28,060 --> 01:07:34,860
An unexpected present or if I call the spirit animal because I show up to work with a fucking hot by hot

571
01:07:34,860 --> 01:07:41,340
My hot tea with vodka in it and I'm typing away looking at blueprints. You're my spirit animal Baroque Medusa

572
01:07:41,340 --> 01:07:43,900
I know I should be everybody's spirit animal

573
01:07:45,420 --> 01:07:52,760
You should I'm telling you but what's the animal? What's the animal? Yeah, don Julio 70

574
01:07:52,760 --> 01:08:00,120
I'm like my spirit animal. Oh

575
01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:11,360
Sometimes I don't know if you had like a spirit animal or let's just say you the reincarnation exists

576
01:08:11,360 --> 01:08:16,240
Who knows but if you could come back as an animal

577
01:08:16,560 --> 01:08:21,440
What would you choose? Um, well since it's fucking I guess NFL Sunday

578
01:08:21,440 --> 01:08:23,440
I would be

579
01:08:25,040 --> 01:08:26,540
Beast mode

580
01:08:26,540 --> 01:08:31,800
Beast mode March on Lynch. I fucking love you bitch. Oh

581
01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:36,440
Man, he's gonna be like damn girl. You're gonna be stirring shit up

582
01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:39,040
You know, he's got a fucking blender out

583
01:08:40,640 --> 01:08:44,120
Instagram and I'm like and I'm like it's like $200 like bro

584
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:51,400
I can't do $200 like I have my nutra bullet and my nutra bullet's been I think it's like $100 and I bought it 10 years

585
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:56,120
That thing's still fucking worse. Yeah, Nutra bullet fucking worse than my ninja blender

586
01:08:56,120 --> 01:09:00,800
Oh, you know what? I really want a ninja. I've seen that they got like really

587
01:09:01,640 --> 01:09:04,960
High-end blades in that fucking there's fucking amazing

588
01:09:04,960 --> 01:09:11,800
And I'm like man you could throw like a whole produce department from Sprouts market in there and it would fucking cut it

589
01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:14,800
Yeah

590
01:09:15,040 --> 01:09:17,440
And there while you're at it and call mine as well

591
01:09:17,440 --> 01:09:21,520
And then you can put that shit in the dishwasher because it's dishwasher safe

592
01:09:21,520 --> 01:09:25,560
So it's like you don't gotta fucking rinse that shit out. I don't have a

593
01:09:26,200 --> 01:09:28,720
Here otherwise, I'd be like, yeah, let's go

594
01:09:29,360 --> 01:09:33,920
Do you use your bullet for those margaritas? You know how you could you take off?

595
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:40,560
You know what I'm like everybody would make fun of me like um, well, I guess not make fun of me

596
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:46,320
It's not the right word. They would look I'm like margarita. I don't like the margarita mix because it's so just fucking

597
01:09:46,320 --> 01:09:52,840
Stupid or whatever what I would do is um fresh mangoes and tequila and a little bit

598
01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:56,120
Yes, and they're like that's a fucking margarita

599
01:09:56,120 --> 01:10:01,000
I'm like to me it is because your fucking margarita is fucking bullshit with all your fake ingredients

600
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:06,360
Just throw a whole mango in them in the NutriBullet with lots of fucking I can taste the tequila

601
01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:08,360
I'm like, well, maybe you should fucking man up

602
01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:16,120
That's what I'm talking about. I don't use the fucking mix either. I'm like frozen berries

603
01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:23,960
Oh, yeah, and I'll put in the what is it the fucking white the tequila white

604
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:28,600
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm just like boom

605
01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:31,720
That's like that's all I need a fucking squeeze of lime. I don't give shit

606
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:35,280
So speaking of like how we're talking about mixing our own drinks or whatever

607
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:39,720
So remember last episode I was talking about mimosas in their fucking trash cuz oh, yeah

608
01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:40,800
I can't do that

609
01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:46,640
But um, I had a friend that was I was at their house and we were doing the mimosas and they were doing the mimosas

610
01:10:46,640 --> 01:10:49,400
I'm like this just doesn't sit right. I'm like, where's your vodka?

611
01:10:49,400 --> 01:10:53,280
I throw vodka in there or at least in my fucking cup, right?

612
01:10:53,280 --> 01:10:58,840
Cuz I'm like, okay now I can fucking do this mimosas or whatever the fuck you call it with a champagne

613
01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:02,280
I'm like, I just like I can't do champagne. I thought I could like

614
01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:07,680
My my BFF or Darce she fucking loves champagne and that's great

615
01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:11,320
And I fuck it just gives me the worst fucking hangover

616
01:11:11,320 --> 01:11:16,520
But like when I throw the vodka in there, it's it's not a lot just like maybe a little bit

617
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:19,080
Or maybe one two shots maybe three

618
01:11:19,560 --> 01:11:22,280
Well, here's a dumb question it

619
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:26,240
Is Cristal considered like a champagne?

620
01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:31,480
Not to Darce not to Darce the standards. I think it is a champagne. She's like Emma

621
01:11:31,480 --> 01:11:33,280
That's

622
01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:39,240
Like, you know how like when I said Don Julio in 1942 and I fucking drank that shit and that shit is fucking trash

623
01:11:39,240 --> 01:11:42,160
She's like that's the or that's the equivalent of Cristal

624
01:11:42,160 --> 01:11:46,560
She's like stop listening like I know she's like I know you love hip hop or whatever

625
01:11:46,560 --> 01:11:52,680
But like don't do their fucking standards when it comes to alcohol because it's just like no and I'm just like well

626
01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:55,180
I learned that after Don Julio in 1942

627
01:11:55,180 --> 01:12:01,380
I know I bought you a bottle and I was like don't drink it. I was like well, I can't waste it

628
01:12:01,380 --> 01:12:07,060
No, you bought the Blanco you bought the Blanco or whatever and I've never had that so you know what?

629
01:12:07,060 --> 01:12:08,900
I used to always be reposado girl

630
01:12:08,900 --> 01:12:13,740
But like now when I got on the course it's called Cristal or crystalline or whatever for

631
01:12:14,220 --> 01:12:20,740
When it comes to tequila when it's clear. Oh, yeah, but that don who the Blanco that you picked up was pretty good

632
01:12:21,340 --> 01:12:23,340
Yeah, isn't that bad? I was like, yeah

633
01:12:23,340 --> 01:12:26,900
Hmm. Okay, so here's my thing. Um, since they don't sell

634
01:12:27,580 --> 01:12:33,820
Don Julio 70 where you live. Maybe you should like sell your house or rent it out and move back to California. I

635
01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:38,060
Keep thinking I'm like damn

636
01:12:38,780 --> 01:12:42,500
California and then I'll move in with you and then we can are not moving

637
01:12:42,740 --> 01:12:48,460
Maybe if you need me to move in with you and we can fucking split rent. I just really miss you. I wish you were here in person

638
01:12:48,460 --> 01:12:50,940
I know I'm just thinking I'm like damn

639
01:12:50,940 --> 01:12:54,980
I have close to 300 and equity. I could just fucking bounce

640
01:12:55,900 --> 01:12:57,900
please do

641
01:12:59,900 --> 01:13:02,940
I don't know I think capital gains. I'm like god damn it

642
01:13:02,940 --> 01:13:09,100
I need to stop drinking so much because like I don't know anymore. I'm just like, yeah, I'm like, great. Yeah, I'm gonna do it

643
01:13:12,140 --> 01:13:17,900
Well, you need to school me school me on capital gains when I was working for the accountant when I moved back and

644
01:13:17,900 --> 01:13:20,860
When I moved back home after I quit city of Long Beach

645
01:13:20,860 --> 01:13:28,060
I worked for an account for two taxi or one. Yeah, two or I guess two taxis in one entire year

646
01:13:28,380 --> 01:13:33,620
But he's like, yeah capital gains. This is now. I'm just like I have no idea what you're fucking talking about

647
01:13:33,620 --> 01:13:40,180
Yeah, it just means that if you get too much what they consider free money, which isn't free fucking money

648
01:13:40,180 --> 01:13:42,460
if I bought this mucking house and

649
01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:50,660
I have equity because the house across the street is selling for 500,000 and I bought my house for three

650
01:13:51,340 --> 01:13:55,820
That 200,000 they're like, uh, yeah, you gotta pay taxes

651
01:13:57,460 --> 01:14:00,980
Yeah, that's capital gains in a nutshell. Oh

652
01:14:02,180 --> 01:14:04,060
No, yeah

653
01:14:04,060 --> 01:14:09,980
Yes, and that's all because it's the government and the government wants their fucking cut even though they get their

654
01:14:09,980 --> 01:14:15,260
Oh, even though I already pay my fucking property taxes on paying everything

655
01:14:15,260 --> 01:14:17,420
This is my motherfucking house and I don't give a shit

656
01:14:17,420 --> 01:14:23,260
Maybe I made the right decision to buy this fucking house at the right mother fucking time and now it's worth way more

657
01:14:23,980 --> 01:14:31,580
So now I can't get more than oh, I can't get my 200,000 when I sell without paying capital gains

658
01:14:32,140 --> 01:14:33,740
Fuck off

659
01:14:33,740 --> 01:14:38,500
That's what there's loopholes and I'll tell you how to do it. Damn. That just makes me angry

660
01:14:38,500 --> 01:14:40,500
I know

661
01:14:40,540 --> 01:14:44,620
That's like when I want the goddamn fucking lotto and I put the fucking money in there

662
01:14:44,620 --> 01:14:48,300
They're like, oh, well, you now have to pay taxes

663
01:14:51,540 --> 01:14:54,900
And then Wells Fargo was telling me, oh, well, you gotta pay

664
01:14:54,980 --> 01:15:01,620
We're taking this out because you put too much money. Oh, so I put too much money in maybe I had the wrong fucking

665
01:15:01,660 --> 01:15:04,940
Maybe well, it was a regular savings. Maybe I should have got a fucking

666
01:15:04,940 --> 01:15:12,340
I don't know how you motherfucker or whatever the fuck. Oh and then when you do your taxes at the end of the year

667
01:15:12,340 --> 01:15:16,780
You also have to claim tax or you have to claim that as income so you get fucked twice

668
01:15:17,180 --> 01:15:22,900
Yeah, they are going to fuck me and then I put it away and then they're gonna fuck me again. I'm like, oh

669
01:15:24,020 --> 01:15:25,780
Man

670
01:15:25,780 --> 01:15:30,740
This doesn't make sense. No, it's all about keeping control for the government and

671
01:15:31,580 --> 01:15:33,580
They always want to win so

672
01:15:33,580 --> 01:15:40,020
I'm just like you motherfuckers and I did come to realize that hey middle class

673
01:15:41,180 --> 01:15:47,640
Man, we're the ones that are just gonna be like the fucking little plugs for everybody else

674
01:15:48,140 --> 01:15:50,140
for the entire fucking

675
01:15:50,660 --> 01:15:52,660
lifetime of earth

676
01:15:53,460 --> 01:15:57,060
Fuck this shit if I make too much like you're on bracket

677
01:15:57,500 --> 01:16:02,860
See now. Yeah, so we're gonna take my money and we're gonna give it all to the

678
01:16:02,860 --> 01:16:07,420
But it's like, you know what no wonder why everybody wants to stay fucking poor and just be like fuck it

679
01:16:08,220 --> 01:16:13,260
Give me fucking free food stamps. I want $700 fucking free food

680
01:16:13,780 --> 01:16:15,780
But guess what?

681
01:16:16,020 --> 01:16:22,140
$700 in free food. I know I fucking went to the goddamn grocery store and I'm like three bags

682
01:16:23,180 --> 01:16:25,180
$125

683
01:16:25,260 --> 01:16:31,780
You know, it's fucking crazy is like I buy all my fucking food for the week, right? So I buy a tray of chicken breasts

684
01:16:31,780 --> 01:16:35,060
I buy three or four dozen eggs and then

685
01:16:35,580 --> 01:16:39,900
The most expensive thing because I'm so fucking lazy. I buy the salad kits, right?

686
01:16:39,900 --> 01:16:45,140
So it's already the pre-cut salad with a salad dressing and you just fucking mix it in my chicken or eggs

687
01:16:45,500 --> 01:16:50,820
Why does each fucking bag cost four dollars? I have to pick up girl between four and five of those

688
01:16:50,820 --> 01:16:52,700
So that's fucking $20 right there

689
01:16:52,700 --> 01:16:55,940
But yet the chicken for like seven or six pounds of chicken

690
01:16:55,940 --> 01:17:02,380
It's like $12 and then four dozen eggs at grocery outlet is like one

691
01:17:02,380 --> 01:17:10,500
It's like ten bucks and I'm like I'm set for the week and then I pick up my 93 seven of the ground sirloin from

692
01:17:11,340 --> 01:17:13,340
What's it called from Sam's?

693
01:17:14,380 --> 01:17:19,820
Three pounds is and it's obviously one pound each but it's 15 bucks

694
01:17:19,820 --> 01:17:26,540
I'm just like I'm fucking set for the week, but that fucking salad kid kills me and my mom was just like well

695
01:17:26,540 --> 01:17:30,220
Maybe you should just fucking buy a head of cabbage or whatever and fucking do I'm like now

696
01:17:30,220 --> 01:17:34,220
You know what I'm already wasting so much fucking time washing all my fucking dishes

697
01:17:35,060 --> 01:17:39,940
Right. There's no room for a dishwasher in the fucking house and just

698
01:17:40,260 --> 01:17:45,540
But whatever so but it's cheaper than still buying takeout and eating trash so for sure

699
01:17:45,540 --> 01:17:51,460
It's still good, but like I did the same motherfucking thing. I'm gonna make spaghetti for dinner

700
01:17:51,460 --> 01:17:52,860
And I was like, you know what I'm gonna do

701
01:17:52,860 --> 01:17:58,220
I'm gonna buy one of those little salad kits as well just I guess fucking love Taylor Farms. Oh

702
01:17:59,100 --> 01:18:03,060
Do you have Taylor Farms? I guess for a salad you do not. Oh, no

703
01:18:03,500 --> 01:18:07,900
Okay, so here I guess here's my rant and it wasn't even a rant, but now it is

704
01:18:09,100 --> 01:18:11,100
Taylor Farms if you're listening

705
01:18:12,020 --> 01:18:14,020
Why do you have?

706
01:18:14,020 --> 01:18:21,300
Like for the buffalo chicken salad kit if I pick it up from Sam's I have the croutons

707
01:18:21,300 --> 01:18:25,780
I don't do the shredded cheese. I throw that in the trash because it's fucking trash

708
01:18:26,300 --> 01:18:28,300
Yeah

709
01:18:28,540 --> 01:18:31,180
Yeah, and so I have the salad the buffalo

710
01:18:31,860 --> 01:18:37,500
The buffalo whatever salad dressing and then I also have the buffalo seasoning so in a separate packet

711
01:18:37,500 --> 01:18:42,320
So it comes in a packet and it smells like buffalo chickens. Yeah, whatever, right? Why?

712
01:18:42,320 --> 01:18:49,080
That's great, but if I pick up the salad kit from grocery outlet because I don't want to go to fucking Sam's

713
01:18:49,080 --> 01:18:51,080
It doesn't fucking have that

714
01:18:51,400 --> 01:18:54,880
Like what the fuck is it exclusive for Sam's?

715
01:18:55,560 --> 01:18:58,940
I guess maybe maybe not. I don't know

716
01:19:00,320 --> 01:19:03,280
God damn it. I was just fucking

717
01:19:03,840 --> 01:19:10,840
Florida when I was like, okay, fuck this I used to buy a fucking little bag like a spring mix or whatever

718
01:19:10,840 --> 01:19:16,320
For two bucks maybe maybe and I'm like for fucking dollars

719
01:19:16,320 --> 01:19:20,040
And it looks all wilted and gross and there's like limited produce

720
01:19:20,560 --> 01:19:23,520
Fuck and I'm like, okay. I can just do a

721
01:19:24,160 --> 01:19:29,920
Caesar salad and oh well guess what it doesn't come with the chicken and

722
01:19:30,280 --> 01:19:35,600
It doesn't come with the croutons. It doesn't even come with the fucking dressing. I'm like, so I can just

723
01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:43,520
Know lettuce yeah, yeah, I can literally buy a fucking romaine motherfucker

724
01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:46,080
I just chop that shit up too much work

725
01:19:46,600 --> 01:19:50,560
Now I was like, yeah, I was like, I don't want to do that. I was like, but why am I gonna buy this bag?

726
01:19:51,320 --> 01:19:55,920
Fucking assholes and then it's got the iceberg fucking mix, which is shit

727
01:19:55,920 --> 01:19:57,920
I fucking yeah, no, yeah, I'm the same way

728
01:19:57,920 --> 01:20:03,120
But I'm more of a cabbage girl because the Taylor farms at least they put cabbage so it's I'm all about

729
01:20:03,120 --> 01:20:08,160
I guess it's crunchy for their fucking salad. So I guess I'll pay the four bucks or whatever but um

730
01:20:08,440 --> 01:20:14,080
The one salad kit it says it's three and half servings. It lasts me a day. So I have it for like I

731
01:20:14,600 --> 01:20:19,080
Know I don't think I've told you this I eat like four times a day. So like I eat chicken I eat

732
01:20:20,280 --> 01:20:24,080
One two I eat half a pound of chicken a day and then

733
01:20:24,680 --> 01:20:30,520
Four ounces or a quarter pound of fucking ground sirloin and then I have like six or seven eggs a day

734
01:20:30,520 --> 01:20:37,000
That's my nice. Yeah, but um that fucking salad kit like so one salad kits has three and a half servings

735
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:40,140
I eat one a day. So I'm like I have to buy it between four and five

736
01:20:41,680 --> 01:20:47,460
Yeah, and there's like I'm just like god damn this is expensive, but I was just like and even though it's four bucks

737
01:20:47,460 --> 01:20:49,080
everybody I

738
01:20:49,080 --> 01:20:52,280
Know what is better than fucking spending?

739
01:20:53,440 --> 01:20:55,520
On a fucking cheeseburger some

740
01:20:55,520 --> 01:21:02,960
Yeah, it's like yeah, I rather to spend four bucks and just eat the fuck of shit within the day in the day

741
01:21:02,960 --> 01:21:08,800
Yeah, I can toss that shit. I don't know but um, yeah, I'm fucking done

742
01:21:08,800 --> 01:21:15,760
I'm just like what the fuck no wonder why now I'm here in Oregon. Everybody just give me farm fresh eggs

743
01:21:15,760 --> 01:21:19,360
I'm like, fuck yeah, you know what now that you're talking about eggs

744
01:21:19,360 --> 01:21:23,520
So remember how you told me like a few episodes ago. You're like the difference between

745
01:21:23,520 --> 01:21:28,720
Or you said because I only hard-boiled my eggs because I hate my mom's kitchen

746
01:21:28,840 --> 01:21:33,280
So I hard-boiled the eggs and you told me you're like if the the shell doesn't

747
01:21:33,520 --> 01:21:38,580
Automatically peel off and it sticks on the fucking egg then it's fucking back throw it away

748
01:21:39,080 --> 01:21:45,560
Well, guess what so last week I had like two eggs that didn't automatically peel off

749
01:21:45,560 --> 01:21:46,760
So I had to like

750
01:21:46,760 --> 01:21:52,080
Like pry it off and I'm like well, let me see what she's fucking talking about is she fucking right?

751
01:21:52,080 --> 01:21:56,800
Oh my god, you can tell like the total fucking difference. It's just like so just like

752
01:21:57,440 --> 01:21:59,440
It doesn't taste like an egg

753
01:21:59,760 --> 01:22:01,760
Yeah, and I'm just like oh

754
01:22:02,480 --> 01:22:05,360
Did I eat it? Of course I did because it's all about protein

755
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:14,160
I'm like I didn't realize the difference I just thought I over I always thought I overcooked the egg or I

756
01:22:14,160 --> 01:22:21,800
Undercooked the egg and it's all about the freshness, but it's so weird that I don't know if I came from the same chicken because it was in the fucking carton

757
01:22:22,120 --> 01:22:26,240
But probably not no probably not so I was just like oh

758
01:22:26,880 --> 01:22:33,440
Like pomegranate bullets. Thank you very much. You're very welcome. I was living in a box in California

759
01:22:34,520 --> 01:22:36,520
No, I'm just like oh shit

760
01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:39,040
What you guys do over here? How?

761
01:22:39,040 --> 01:22:43,960
Really quick I'm looking at I'm watching NFL

762
01:22:43,960 --> 01:22:50,200
So yeah in the box has their fucking tacos, but their monster tacos have red shells now

763
01:22:50,200 --> 01:22:55,680
So are they actually like like doused in fucking L tapatio?

764
01:22:55,680 --> 01:22:57,180
Oh

765
01:22:57,180 --> 01:23:04,200
Might need to go there. What is that? It's probably that even a real taco because it's fucking jack in the box

766
01:23:04,200 --> 01:23:12,240
I'm like they have red shell tacos. It looks like they were fucking cooked in L tapatio. Well, what's in again like Taco Bell doing like the

767
01:23:12,920 --> 01:23:20,480
The ranch Doritos shells and shit like they probably were and so now they're probably doing like a

768
01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:30,840
What they had I went through a Taco Bell phase like maybe five before I left Huntington Beach, but

769
01:23:30,840 --> 01:23:34,700
They had like I want to say it's their chalupa like

770
01:23:35,160 --> 01:23:39,780
I'm like it's fucking trash, right, but it has the hard shell taco. Yes

771
01:23:41,880 --> 01:23:49,040
The case oh dip or it's like case. Oh is like not our spread on it and then the hard shell tacos like attached to it

772
01:23:49,720 --> 01:23:56,280
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, they did like I want to say it's a chalupa. I'm just like I fucking ate three or

773
01:23:57,160 --> 01:23:59,160
Did you get the right six of those?

774
01:23:59,160 --> 01:24:03,360
I ordered six and and didn't want them. I'm like, I'm gonna eat them all

775
01:24:04,360 --> 01:24:09,960
I fucking did that shit too. And then I was fucking driving home. I was like I should use a restroom for a day

776
01:24:09,960 --> 01:24:16,700
But no, I won't and I fucking like I was like oh I had bubble guts and I was like damn

777
01:24:17,320 --> 01:24:19,320
Damn damn

778
01:24:19,360 --> 01:24:22,880
Don't let me just fucking mess myself

779
01:24:22,880 --> 01:24:29,560
Like fuck and I'm like get the fuck out of my way tractor get the fuck out of my way people I gotta get home

780
01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:31,720
I text day and I'm like a

781
01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:34,400
duty to fuck it

782
01:24:35,120 --> 01:24:41,120
Yeah, unlock the door or else. I don't fucking know but it's the fucking storm is a brewing like

783
01:24:45,560 --> 01:24:49,280
No, I'm like, yeah, I don't know he's like, okay

784
01:24:49,280 --> 01:24:58,920
I fucking yeah, I just fucking I was like man. Fuck you Taco Bell. You're so delicious, but you're not I wish I was 20 again

785
01:24:58,920 --> 01:25:06,760
I know what fuck everything up. Just like fucking McDonald's fucking Taco Bell. What's the other one?

786
01:25:06,760 --> 01:25:09,820
Oh my god, Tommy's burgers. Oh

787
01:25:10,920 --> 01:25:17,400
My god, they're fucking chili cheese fries with onions and I would yeah extra cheese

788
01:25:17,400 --> 01:25:22,180
Oh god and the entire house would smell the next day because it just it just yeah

789
01:25:22,180 --> 01:25:28,320
It did that that smell just lingers and just like I would throw it out in the outside trash like the entire house

790
01:25:28,320 --> 01:25:31,160
I'm like, oh this shit is seeping through my pores

791
01:25:33,840 --> 01:25:39,200
They're fucking chili cheese fries, I'm like, I wish I could eat their chili cheese fries again. God damn it

792
01:25:39,840 --> 01:25:43,720
God, I was like a big-time winner sitch old motherfucking fan

793
01:25:43,720 --> 01:25:51,180
Oh my god, remember like on Sundays, it would be like yeah growing up like 10 cent or 15 cent or maybe a quarter

794
01:25:52,080 --> 01:25:54,360
Chili cheese dog days like after church

795
01:25:55,240 --> 01:25:58,080
Yep, and then you could get like two dollar chili cheese

796
01:26:00,760 --> 01:26:04,880
The good old days. Oh god, that's my body to take it

797
01:26:05,880 --> 01:26:07,800
And it was super cheap

798
01:26:07,800 --> 01:26:09,800
Yeah, it's fucking delicious

799
01:26:09,800 --> 01:26:16,300
You know you could buy fucking wiener sitch old chili. I don't know if it's there and Kelly but over here you can

800
01:26:17,120 --> 01:26:20,740
And I can I was like, oh shit. I'm gonna fucking ship you some

801
01:26:21,360 --> 01:26:23,360
No, please don't

802
01:26:25,480 --> 01:26:27,480
Put it in the food bank

803
01:26:28,160 --> 01:26:32,380
Down here. I want to say you right down here around 10 years ago

804
01:26:32,380 --> 01:26:37,920
I don't know if it still is happening, but Red Lobster had their remember their cheddar baked

805
01:26:37,920 --> 01:26:41,360
Oh, was it called their cheddar Bay biscuits? Oh, yeah

806
01:26:41,880 --> 01:26:48,800
They had like they had the like it would come in like um, you know how like antemima or whatever would come in a pancake mix

807
01:26:48,800 --> 01:26:53,480
And the cardboard box, but yeah, they had that for Red Lobster's

808
01:26:53,920 --> 01:26:55,920
Cheddar Bay biscuits now

809
01:26:57,600 --> 01:27:00,560
One on Thanksgiving because I was so fucking drunk

810
01:27:00,560 --> 01:27:03,520
I was at my brother's and I'm like, hey, let me make this real quick

811
01:27:03,520 --> 01:27:10,720
So I fucking made them and I just fucking like fucking drunk. I threw them on the wax paper and then we baked them because

812
01:27:10,880 --> 01:27:12,880
his wife

813
01:27:12,880 --> 01:27:15,880
He's like why does this look like fucking shit?

814
01:27:15,880 --> 01:27:19,840
And I'm just like I swear to God it looks like shit, but it will taste so good

815
01:27:22,840 --> 01:27:30,320
But don't try and cook when you're drunk on Thanksgiving. Oh, no, you end up with a bunch of burn scars too

816
01:27:31,120 --> 01:27:32,880
and booze bruises

817
01:27:32,880 --> 01:27:34,880
booze bruises and burn scars

818
01:27:36,160 --> 01:27:39,080
And you drop the deviled eggs all over the kitchen floor

819
01:27:39,080 --> 01:27:44,520
I love deviled eggs, but I don't have patience to make that shit in the time

820
01:27:44,640 --> 01:27:49,280
That's worse than what I would rather wash dishes for 12 hours than make deviled eggs

821
01:27:49,680 --> 01:27:53,240
That's why we're besties you can come wash my dishes and I'll just make the devil

822
01:27:53,240 --> 01:27:59,920
Oh, you know what? I'll take you up on that offer because I love deviled eggs

823
01:27:59,920 --> 01:28:04,600
because that's way too much work and too much craftism whatever the fuck

824
01:28:06,600 --> 01:28:11,880
I just get one of the kids sandwich bags and I just cut a little fucking thing and I put all the fucking

825
01:28:11,880 --> 01:28:16,280
There you go. I just go, I'll give a shit. It looks cute. Tastes good

826
01:28:16,720 --> 01:28:20,000
It tastes real fucking good. I just don't have time for that shit

827
01:28:20,000 --> 01:28:26,960
And then you just get bubbleguts? No, because it's fucking eggs and it's not fucking Taco Bell

828
01:28:27,520 --> 01:28:33,560
Right and I and I use best foods all day every day. So yeah, I don't use that

829
01:28:33,560 --> 01:28:37,280
I fucking love this foods because it has to be best food. I'm like best foods

830
01:28:37,280 --> 01:28:42,680
Why are you fucking seven dollars a fucking jar now because it's gonna pay it, you know, I'm gonna pay it

831
01:28:42,680 --> 01:28:49,640
But sorry mayonnaise mayonnaise, I believe is I'm gonna say is egg whites and then just like whatever the fuck it is

832
01:28:49,640 --> 01:28:54,520
Like if you buy like miracle whip remember when miracle what used to be a thing and I'm like this

833
01:28:54,520 --> 01:28:56,520
Oh, yeah trash. I'm like

834
01:28:56,840 --> 01:28:58,840
There's

835
01:28:59,840 --> 01:29:03,160
Fucking sweet, it's all fucking fake. I'm like at least

836
01:29:03,680 --> 01:29:06,840
Best foods was egg whites and I want to say oil

837
01:29:06,840 --> 01:29:11,960
Yeah, and then best foods makes one too with olive oil. Yeah, oh

838
01:29:12,520 --> 01:29:18,520
So good. I haven't had to buy mayonnaise in a long time, but if it is mayonnaise then I buy fucking

839
01:29:19,040 --> 01:29:24,360
Best foods best foods. That's that's Islander right there. That's where mom and

840
01:29:25,400 --> 01:29:30,120
Everybody teaches you like hey this max Ellen is gonna be max Ellen. This is best foods

841
01:29:30,120 --> 01:29:36,760
So speaking of Islander so next week is my last week at work and the week afterwards

842
01:29:36,760 --> 01:29:41,840
I still like I've had on my to-do list monobots for the last four weeks

843
01:29:43,000 --> 01:29:44,360
call

844
01:29:44,360 --> 01:29:48,000
Maui and like am I good to come over for the fucking weeks?

845
01:29:48,520 --> 01:29:50,520
Have I called?

846
01:29:50,920 --> 01:29:53,240
Oh my other ranch is

847
01:29:53,240 --> 01:30:02,600
Um Alaska Airlines has emailed me twice in the last 48 hours. Do you want to upgrade or and by upgrade to I guess?

848
01:30:03,400 --> 01:30:06,760
What's it called? So I'm supposed to go to Maui in two weeks, right?

849
01:30:07,160 --> 01:30:12,960
Right. Yeah, so fucking Alaska Airlines is like do you want to bid on first class? I'm like

850
01:30:13,800 --> 01:30:16,520
So people bid on first class now you just

851
01:30:16,520 --> 01:30:23,720
So I'm just like I I'm not gonna fucking bid and be I'm like I

852
01:30:24,440 --> 01:30:28,840
You know what this week? I will call and make sure I guess if it's okay to come

853
01:30:30,680 --> 01:30:33,800
Girl, I thought you did that a long time ago. I did I keep saying it

854
01:30:33,800 --> 01:30:38,440
I'm just like I'm just gonna keep waiting because I have travel insurance and I'm just like I know um

855
01:30:39,800 --> 01:30:45,960
So Maui reopened I want to say it was two or three weeks ago. So like me. I'll just fuck. I don't know whatever the fuck

856
01:30:45,960 --> 01:30:47,960
I don't know

857
01:30:48,280 --> 01:30:52,200
So we'll see what happens. I'll call this week to make sure but I haven't heard from the host

858
01:30:52,200 --> 01:30:57,000
I'm gonna stay at a hospital because I'm not really when I travel by myself. I don't know about you

859
01:30:57,240 --> 01:30:59,240
Have you ever stayed at a hospital?

860
01:30:59,400 --> 01:31:05,160
I have not. Okay. Everybody's just like everybody. It's like you're staying at a hostel. I don't like

861
01:31:05,640 --> 01:31:08,840
Uh, well, yeah, they're like, have you watched the movie hostile? I'm like

862
01:31:09,320 --> 01:31:14,920
Yes, I'm glad. Oh god. Yeah, exactly. So the people who have never stayed in a hostel and say have you watched the movie?

863
01:31:14,920 --> 01:31:18,360
Hostile well, maybe you should fucking stay in a hostel. It's not fucking like that

864
01:31:18,760 --> 01:31:22,680
But here's the thing. I don't do the hostel with like where I'm staying with

865
01:31:23,400 --> 01:31:30,920
Everybody I I did that before growing up. But um, so I did I guess whatever hostel I booked for

866
01:31:31,480 --> 01:31:33,480
I booked a private room

867
01:31:33,800 --> 01:31:39,080
But um, I don't have an actual bathroom. So I have to share it with everybody which is fucking fine

868
01:31:39,640 --> 01:31:43,000
But I was just like it's so much cheaper than staying in a goddamn hotel

869
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:46,280
If I'm by myself, so is it like a bed and breakfast type?

870
01:31:46,840 --> 01:31:51,960
Yeah, so I'm like if you're good, you can like um, at least when I did the hostels in san francisco

871
01:31:52,520 --> 01:31:57,160
And in boston you can bring your own food and you can write your name on it and you put in the fucking fridge

872
01:31:57,240 --> 01:32:00,200
But you have to wash your own dishes and all that. I'm like, I don't do that shit

873
01:32:00,760 --> 01:32:06,360
Um, if I bring food, I'm gonna leave it in my fucking room because I'm not putting it in the goddamn kitchen

874
01:32:06,440 --> 01:32:08,440
but they have like I guess

875
01:32:08,440 --> 01:32:13,640
Conan you know breakfast or whatever that shit, but it's just it's I don't know

876
01:32:13,720 --> 01:32:17,720
It's more of a commune and you talk to people. That's how I learned about um

877
01:32:18,200 --> 01:32:24,840
Or and that's how I fell in love with IPA beer was when I stayed at the hostels in san francisco with

878
01:32:25,000 --> 01:32:27,720
And I took in she's like we're staying on a hostile like yes, bitch

879
01:32:28,520 --> 01:32:31,640
but um, then she learned about hostels too, so

880
01:32:32,360 --> 01:32:34,520
I don't know. I like hostels everybody's different

881
01:32:34,520 --> 01:32:40,200
But I don't know if that's because my dad is austrian and he's only ever known hostels before he moved here

882
01:32:40,680 --> 01:32:43,880
Or he got migrated to the goddamn fucking united states

883
01:32:44,440 --> 01:32:46,760
Whatever the fuck. I mean, I I think I

884
01:32:47,800 --> 01:32:51,320
I guess you would if it's like a bed and breakfast type shit

885
01:32:51,400 --> 01:32:56,440
I there was like somebody who just legit had a house and I I did go to japan and

886
01:32:57,080 --> 01:33:01,960
I've never been to japan. When did you go to japan? Oh fuck. I don't know like 20 years ago

887
01:33:01,960 --> 01:33:04,120
Oh, I'll be for it before the baby is

888
01:33:04,760 --> 01:33:12,200
Yeah, okay, sure. Yeah, I mean my passport's expired. So I don't know fucking and I need to get that that that ID

889
01:33:12,760 --> 01:33:18,520
Just uh, that's that yeah, yeah, so down here. I think it's the real is it called the the real idea

890
01:33:18,520 --> 01:33:23,240
I've had mine for like two years. So do they have that in or again too then I guess yeah

891
01:33:23,800 --> 01:33:28,840
I think it's by next year october. I won't even be able to fly

892
01:33:28,840 --> 01:33:32,440
I don't know if I can fly or do anything within the country

893
01:33:33,000 --> 01:33:37,960
I couldn't even just fly to fucking kelly if I don't have this shit. So I don't know

894
01:33:38,200 --> 01:33:41,480
Well, here's my thing with the real ID now. I'm like, can I just like

895
01:33:41,960 --> 01:33:43,960
Board with my fucking liquid and not

896
01:33:44,840 --> 01:33:49,560
And it'd be over three fucking ounces because I'm like if I fly when I fly to fucking

897
01:33:49,960 --> 01:33:55,320
Maui my face is finally fucking clear is more clear. Thanks to retina or whatever the dirt

898
01:33:55,320 --> 01:34:01,480
Yes, and I'm on her fucking her fucking face wash, but the face wash is eight ounces and I'm like

899
01:34:02,440 --> 01:34:07,960
I guess I'm like I don't want to like I was just gonna buy like whatever face wash you can buy in the travel size

900
01:34:08,520 --> 01:34:10,200
uh, yeah

901
01:34:10,200 --> 01:34:15,560
I guess at the store because her thing it's like it's all fluffy or whatever you can't fucking

902
01:34:15,960 --> 01:34:20,760
I can't pump it into a god in a travel size goddamn tsa approved bottle

903
01:34:20,760 --> 01:34:27,000
Yeah, so I'm just like, uh, maybe I'm gonna check luggage. I don't want to fuck my face up my face is finally looking

904
01:34:27,560 --> 01:34:29,560
a lot better

905
01:34:30,120 --> 01:34:32,360
You gotta be careful with checking in and fucking lugging

906
01:34:32,440 --> 01:34:35,480
Exactly and I'm like if it didn't get lost or whatever it's like

907
01:34:35,560 --> 01:34:36,760
And you know what happened?

908
01:34:36,760 --> 01:34:38,760
It took Hawaii

909
01:34:39,240 --> 01:34:43,160
And you know what happens though the fucking altitude I did that shit

910
01:34:43,160 --> 01:34:50,200
I had this little cute Victoria's Secret little like makeup fucking plastic little zippy bag and I put all my

911
01:34:50,840 --> 01:34:56,520
Fucking makeup in there. Uh-huh my fucking lipglasses and shit just like exploded

912
01:34:57,560 --> 01:35:01,800
It was everywhere and I was like what the fuck when you were in the art

913
01:35:01,800 --> 01:35:05,240
So on your carry on or in your no it was on the

914
01:35:05,720 --> 01:35:07,720
Fucking like my check in

915
01:35:08,840 --> 01:35:12,040
I was like I'm not gonna do that much like makeup

916
01:35:12,040 --> 01:35:16,600
I'm just gonna do my basics because you know, I don't wear that much makeup right so I'm like, yeah

917
01:35:16,840 --> 01:35:19,400
No, no no these motherfuckers

918
01:35:19,960 --> 01:35:23,400
Everything I had a little liquid eyeliner busted. I mean it

919
01:35:25,240 --> 01:35:26,440
Oh

920
01:35:26,440 --> 01:35:31,800
All right, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Yeah. Well, I know if I'm gonna pack the face wash

921
01:35:31,880 --> 01:35:33,880
I'm putting it in a ziplock bag. So it doesn't

922
01:35:34,520 --> 01:35:38,040
If it accidentally leaks or whatever it's not gonna leak on my shit

923
01:35:38,040 --> 01:35:43,640
Yeah, it's just all fucked up and I was like, oh my gosh. What the fuck?

924
01:35:44,520 --> 01:35:46,520
the fuck happened

925
01:35:46,520 --> 01:35:47,560
Uh

926
01:35:47,560 --> 01:35:49,560
All right. Well, that's good to know

927
01:35:49,560 --> 01:35:52,840
All right, I think we need to wrap this up really quick. I just looked at the time

928
01:35:53,080 --> 01:35:56,760
I could talk to you all day because I know because we don't ever talk anymore

929
01:35:57,800 --> 01:36:02,840
Bitch, that's because you've been working nonstop. Thanks to your coworker being in Hawaii. Fuck that coworker

930
01:36:03,240 --> 01:36:06,280
I know I'm all fucked up and then it's a disney fucking

931
01:36:06,280 --> 01:36:08,520
And yeah, fuck you a lawni

932
01:36:11,080 --> 01:36:15,320
Fuck you mickey mouse. That's right and minnie and whoever else not

933
01:36:15,640 --> 01:36:20,280
Not a duck or goofy though. I fucking love goofy and I do like goofy goofy was my favorite. That's right

934
01:36:21,800 --> 01:36:24,840
All right. Well, I am Boreg Medusa and you are

935
01:36:25,400 --> 01:36:31,320
Pomona bullet that's right and together we cling-clink and you guys should cling-clink too. We are out. Goodbye

936
01:36:31,320 --> 01:36:36,120
Bye. Adios.

