What's up guys? Hey Baroque Medusa here. My book, Only Fans Funds, is officially on
Amazon for Paperback and Kindle. In a time where social media can be the sole
source of income, ride shotgun on a content creator's journey to fame and
freedom. Witness how Alexandrite retires her angelic halo in order to give into
her carnal need for self-pleasure. Experience the world of an only fans
creator through their eyes in erotic graphic detail. For the Amazon link, you
will hit the show description notes and it'll be there for you to click on. And
now let's get started.
Welcome to our podcast Top Shelf Hygienics. You are Pomona Bullets and I am Baroque
Medusa and we are here to clink clink and drink drink. Let us begin.
Good day bitch. Good day bitch. Happy fucking Sunday. Yeah Sunday,
fun day and laundry day as always. Same. I mop the floor before I fucking log
on. That's all I'm gonna say. I don't know the kitchen floor here just likes to
attract all the fucking dirt. Same. You know I don't have my floors are all
tile and then I have well I do have carpet but I would say it's 50 50 carpet
wood and tile. It's just just get out of here. I'm done. You know how many
swifters I have to fucking use to actually clean? I'm like yeah I always use
those little swiffer things. I'm like this is great but I have to use like a
whole fucking box of those motherfuckers. Right? I was just like I feel like I'm
either always sweeping the goddamn kitchen floor washing dishes or doing
laundry but you know whatever first world problems I guess. Yeah I know my my ex
husband used to say he would come home from work and he would tell me what are
you doing? I go I've been doing laundry all day. He's like you weren't doing laundry
the watch your machine was. You know what? That's a throat punch bitch. Yeah I was
like yeah if he wasn't a fucking marine I would just like yeah but he could probably.
Okay I'll take a bow out. That's hilarious. Fuck you. You're doing shit. The laundry machine has okay? Yeah I was like bullshit.
Well I'm putting the tide pods in there. I'm making sure.
I'm getting dirt from lifting and putting the tide pods in the goddamn washing machine.
I had to make sure that I put the fabric softener in there when it was on
rent cycle. I don't I used to use fabric softener I stopped using that. I haven't
used that in years. Do you and I haven't used bleach but most of my clothes are
like colored anyways. I don't even wear white socks. I use black socks. Yeah
same. I just I just have like I have a few white towels which I think I stole a
collection from hotels here and there or me the gym. Yeah. I was bleaching that and
then like my wife feeders throw those in there. I think I might have three pair of
the ankle white socks that came with like a variety color pack. Okay so that's by
default you had to get those. Yeah I was like okay but I don't I don't have
anything else white. Fuck that. I'm a messy eater. I'm a messy person. Why it just doesn't really go with me.
Right. It looks better on tan skin and since I haven't been tanning and I know
you don't tan since it's Oregon it doesn't look good on normal pasty people.
Fuck no. And then when you smile you just realize like oh shit. You know what I said.
Tea. I don't drink that much coffee. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't know what's going on.
Let's get a drink. Okay really quick. I'm drinking of course Don Julio 70 and I
changed it up. I picked up Crystal Light Fruit Punch and boy is it a game changer
besides the cherry so fruit punch Crystal Light with vodka. Yeah that sounds good.
So a game changer meaning it stepped it up a notch. I normally just like when I
go to the store I'm like oh I just fucking cherry but I was just like I am
over cherry. I need a new flavor so I went back to fruit fruit punch. I got hooked
on I don't know if you ever did Crystal Light and vodka but they have like I
want to say blueberry lemonade or rad and raspberry lemonade. I fucking overdosed
on both of those. I can't do either one of those anymore. So I don't know. Oh fuck.
Well every time I go to the liquor store I mean their moonshine shit I guess it's
just maybe my town or just my liquor store in town. I don't know but I decided
because I was like I'm gonna hydrate still so I got a bunch of coconut water
and I got that moonshine again but you know there's so many different flavors
that they have. I was just gonna ask do you always get the same flavor or you get
a different flavor. This one I got watermelon. Watermelon moonshine with some coconut water
and it's oh this is gonna be lethal. I don't know. But it's pretty tasty. I just have to
watch this one. What's the brand name? You know what I don't it's just like a local
place and it just says moonshine made in Oregon and it's like I don't know if it's
somebody's backyard or what. Okay I was wondering because I'm like I'll check it out and see
if they have it down here but it's probably yeah like you said locals on. Well good for
you. Well I'm gonna have to send you some. Can you even send liquids? Probably not. You
can just fucking lie and say there's no liquids in the god damn. Yeah. I don't know it's just
real heavy and it sounds squishy but you know it's no liquids. Put a bunch of pledges. Right.
There. So how are you enjoying your one day off this week so far? So far so good. Yeah.
I oh this is how bad. I don't understand because I typically I'm not like a gym rat by all
means no way. I do not do yoga every day. I don't I just kind of keep it for my age range.
I'm like that should that's enough three days a week of yoga. Right. Two days at the gym
or just doing whatever and so fuck. I was doing sun gods and like just different little
things while I was watching fucking Netflix and my whole body hurts. Well that's what
the moon shines for girl. I was just like what the fuck you know the other day I was
playing darts. Why do my fucking arms hurt so bad. I played two games of darts darts.
Okay I think you really need to start like weightlifting and I mean not by any means
like hard shit just like pick up some 10 pound dumbbells and get the fucking. Okay well pick
a lot more because you shouldn't be hurting from the darts. I was just like what the fuck
is this. Is it just your it's both shoulders or your right shoulder because no it's just
okay it's like a little chicken wing like you like when you keep I don't know if you
play darts or if you ever have but you put your elbow up almost to like your nose. Oh
yeah yeah yeah so just holding it and then releasing the dart it was just like that little
chicken wing right under I'm like fuck I mean it doesn't hurt to the point like ow I can't
do anything it's just ow it's just like what the fuck did I do. Oh yeah moon shine the
moon shine will help with the muscles get. Oh yeah for sure for sure but yeah nothing
that might my Sunday's doing is it's coming along. Well that's good and you guys I don't
remember who you guys played today. Do you guys play today. We do the Bears. Oh this is
the file clock. In LA or Chicago. Chicago. Oh is it Sunday night football. Yep. Oh okay
we play tomorrow night we play um we're in Detroit. We'll probably lose. I hope so. I
hope I can get my second. It's like a fucking KC. Oh I have to say that fucking meme you
sent me. I am dying. I am dying. I'm looking exactly like Darlene from what's oh from Rose
Ann I'm like I cannot unsee that. I'm dying. I'm dying because I was like oh okay now I
can like I can absolutely see the split. Darlene Connor. Darlene Connor in my home.
Okay so for those who are listening there was a meme on Twitter or I call it Twitter
I don't call it fucking X because fuck Elon Musk. So on Twitter or no I'm sorry it was
on Instagram. So Instagram had a meme and it said it had Patrick Mahone's the quarterback
from Kansas City and then next to it or the the next whatever the side by side picture
is it Darlene Connor from um the TV show Rose Ann and it says that um what did it say it
said Patrick Mahone's is Darlene Connor and I'm like I cannot ever unsee that they look
exactly the same. Shit so I had to send it to my bestie Pomona Bullets because I knew
she was going to get a good laugh. Yeah I was staring at that fucking side by side again
but I'm like holy fuck too much. Accurates as fuck. Yes. Accurate AF. That's right. Oh
so I'm driving to work the other day and I hear on I don't know I guess it's like a radio
station whatever little DJs whatever VJs what not VJs DJs because VJ is like dumb video
brown. Yeah. So they're talking and they're saying that uh Shugnait has a podcast and
I was like of course everybody has a podcast. I like we have a podcast. He's in a fucking
prison. How does he have a podcast? He's in prison. Thank you. Thank you. So I did my
homework and I said this this can't be true. How the fuck is Shugnait who's incarcerated.
Yeah. I'm in the podcast and it's true he has a podcast called collect calls with Shugnait.
Oh my fucking god. Yeah. Well if I ever get locked up I guess I'm gonna have to go that
route but that's never gonna happen. So what the fuck. It's just like how the fuck did
you get a podcast and I mean wow. Shit. Personally I'm so bad so right now. Hopefully all the
money he's making off of that goes and gets put on his books so he can get like great
food and fucking prison. Yeah. Just like the good fellas. Right. And the smokes. Yeah.
And the gets in the cheese. What the fuck. Now I'm gonna have to look that up. Yeah.
I was just like I didn't listen. I don't even know but I just I actually went to I heart
and it was on there. I just put collect calls. He showed up. I was like oh fuck it's true.
Wow. I don't know who keystered the phone but he got.
I guess a podcast. Wait. So how long is the podcast isn't like collect calls for prisons
like maybe 10 minutes of that or I would wow. I'm just assuming somebody keystered a cell
phone or something for him because oh I didn't even think about that or or who knows. I don't
know. I'm not real big in the prison. Right. I don't know. So glad. So glad. Not me. I
was a bee. Now I want to be like free and just like no. I don't know. It was insane off
the radar. Yeah. Off the fucking radar radar radar. Are you guys or does your son do anything
for Halloween or he just doesn't care. He's older now. Yeah. I try to ask him because
I wanted him to kind of go and get candy. I do like candy and I always that was the
joy of like just going to treating was right back or they would just get all the candy
that they wanted and then just give me the rest and I was like fuck yeah I'll totally
eat the paydays that they didn't want. I'll totally eat like all those were the best.
I fucking love paydays all the salt and the caramel. Yeah. I know. And because I like
you know. So I used to get all the Snickers the paydays the peanut M&M's G unit hated
chocolate go figure. So I would get all the Kit Kat and the 100 grand bars and I don't
like Milky Way's. I actually like them but there's a lot of chewing going involved. There's
just way too much caramel caramel caramel caramel I don't know how to pronounce that bullshit
or no three musketeers. Yeah. That's the most boring candy bar ever to exist. It's just
yeah just all the air. Yeah. My next to our Hershey bar just mm-hmm. I love me some Reese's
peanut butter cups. I haven't bought regular candy in a while but Reese's peanut butter
cups are my fucking thing. Oh my gosh. When I went camping here in Oregon and I wasn't
a big camper coming from SoCal. Uh-huh. Maybe glamping was more my thing like yeah I'll
rent a cabin. Oh that was glamping means I always wonder what glamping means. So it's
renting a cabin. Well it just means you're you're gonna or if you're gonna pitch a tent
you'll bring an air mattress. Oh well I would totally be the glamper. Yeah. Yeah. My camping
in SoCal was glamping. No I was not gonna lay on the fucking ground with a sleeping bag.
No. No. I'm not a camper per I guess a camping type of person either. I equate that to being
one step above being homeless and I don't like to pretend to be homeless. So yeah put
me in a hotel or in a fucking motor home. Let's go. Yeah. Exactly. A trailer motor home
a cabin where I can just step out into it. It's fine but I am not a big camper and I
was just like thinking to myself everyone's like well you have to you should go camping.
Let's go camping. Let's go camp. Like there's so many. No. No. I don't I don't like. No
thank you. I'm not a big fan of fans. I like it. No we just need a hotel. Yeah. Or I'll
sleep in my car. Right. I'm really good at doing that. Yeah I do that every day for
lunch. So exactly. So crazy. And so just kind of going off of that everybody was asking
about like GPS because here in Oregon you have we're in the mountains we're in the hills
you get spotty reception. It doesn't matter if you have AT&T or Verizon or T-Mobile and
none of that fucking matters. None of it. If you put in a location you're trying to go
from point A to point B. Your phone will say yes this is the locations you push directions
it starts sending you and then you can fall off the map. You get spotty reception it's
rerouting you. No signal. There's nothing and I was just thinking if there was really
no GPS I do use GPS because I became lazy. I have became lazy and the fucking information
is right here at my fingertips and I we all use it. Could you get anywhere. Could you
go like a week without GPS. If I just have to work three miles away yes but to get to
get to where I'm not normally going then no and don't ask me to break out the Thomas guide
okay. That's not happening. You think you would be pretty much like lost. Yeah I'll
just like I'll wait until my signal comes back up next week and then I'll come back
and see you then. If they gave you let's just say a hundred mile radius and that was it.
No GPS but they were going to give you different some just somebody gives you different locations
meet me here and meet me here and meet me there. Do you think you would have a hard
time without your GPS. I mean if it was for fun for a scavenger hunt and I had nothing
else better to do then I'm like yeah let's go let's get like on the 605 and you tell
me where to meet I guess whatever like for instance Seal Beach and I'm like well I know
how to get to Seal Beach but to get to the exact location you're telling me in Seal Beach
no so I guess I could stop and ask people for directions once I get down there. Yeah
there you go remember we used to do that shit back in the day. Yes or go to the gas station
and ask the gas or the gas station attendant. Yeah they had to be fluid right and I was
thinking so I didn't realize that half the people didn't know this but if a highway goes
north and south it would be something like the 57 so it'd be odd numbers and I'm doing
so count 57 right but if it's east and west then the highway is an even number like the
210 the 60 yeah I knew I knew that and so I just everybody else doesn't like know that
exactly. I had the majority at least I know even when I'm looking for a street address
I know the odd numbers on one side of the street and the other side but there's a lot of people
I just don't know that. You know what speaking of not knowing shit excuse me remember we
talked about this like on a podcast before but you know how like your kids don't know
how to write cursive or it's no longer mandatory in schools. Right. Yes well the governor of
California Gruesome Newsom signed a law saying it's going to be back in back in schools I
guess starting next year. Exactly I'm just like bro you're doing the wrong fucking thing
I'm like I fucking hated cursive I fucking hate that and what do you whatever I don't
know it's supposed to happen again first people in school and I'm like well all these fucking
new teachers that are I don't even know if the teachers that are the younger generations
do they were they even thought fucking cursive they probably weren't probably not. I'm like
this one bro. Well maybe they're trying to bring back signatures. Well yeah whatever
it's called fingerprints and eye prints or eye scan really. I don't know but yeah so
Thomas guides and cursive need to like be gone for good. Okay so now Oregon they passed
the law that we can pump our own gas now which I thought was ridiculous because I was catered
to just pulling up to a gas station and conditioned to not step out of my car and just roll down
my window and say I fill her up that's why I'm here bitch yeah just fill her up so I
go to the gas station the other day and I go into one of the little stalls whatever and
I'm sitting there for a while I'm on my lunch break I'm like come on where the fuck is the
attendant nobody comes to my rescue so I was like oh fuck maybe I have to pump my own gas
no biggie I come from Southern California I pumped my gas all day long I go to try to
pump the gas I don't fucking know what I'm doing why do I not know what I'm doing and
I put my debit card in there and then it's all your pen and then I started thinking oh
shit Baroque Medusa said she doesn't pay at the pump because of all these scams and shit
and I'm like oh my goodness I don't even know I thought you just put the card in and then
you start filling up your tank and then you stop where you stop now it's like you push
enter two times and then you push the zero and you do the like what I'm so fucking lost
like I have Oregon has made Pomona look like lazy I guess our forgetful but you know you
know what when I used to work for the city of Long Beach when we moved into the new city
hall the weird thing with the elevators is that you would have to press like you have
like it had you have to scan your car or whatever right that's for everybody but you press your
fucking button number for the floor on the outside before you walk in I want to say if
I remember this correctly so once you get into the elevator it takes you automatically up
you no longer press buttons you're done oh no up or down no no up or down yeah so when
you when I go to like fucking regular buildings it's still instilled in my head like where
I go into just an old school elevator I'll be in there and the door closes and I'm like
why the fuck am I not moving like I need to get to the third floor or whatever floor and
I'm just like oh god damn the fucking city of Long Beach I have to press the button that's
on the fucking panel if I want to get to my colleague shit god damn fucking technology
has made me dumb yes yes and I was like I don't know I do a lot of that instacart stuff
and I know it's it's pricier whatever but right you can have the people in the store
get all your groceries and then you pick them up you just go and you just pick them up you
don't have to step foot in the fucking grocery store oh yeah that's what I do with Sam's
like 99% of the time and like I fucking hate going into Sam's I don't know if you like
going into Costco that's just a fucking nightmare it is and then when you do have to end up
going inside you're like where the fuck is the milk exactly because you're not you normally
not in there so I don't know about I don't know about Costco but for Sam's you can scan
and go so like I can throw shit in my cart and I can scan it as I throw it into my cart
so when I actually leave I don't have to stand at the register I can just fucking like check
or like leave and they check my receipt you know how they always check your receipt at
the end whatever so I bypass the line but it's still a fucking nightmare because it's
a god damn warehouse you're walking through no Costco and I love the stores I love Sam's
Club I love Costco yes but I think I'm just the world has made me lazy and I allowed it
to happen same I totally agree and this week I normally just go once a month to Sam's to
stock up on all my shit and then like this month I went Friday after work because I placed
my order on my app and I was just like I don't even want to fucking go there to pick it up
I'm like and then they have it like they offer delivery but I'm just like they're they're
delivery free is delivery fee is totally ridiculous oh my gosh okay I'll just go and wait in parking
or in the parking lot and they can drop it off I ordered a shit ton of Gatorade water
bottles just and it was for an event for one of the kids schools and I did it from Costco
and they said we could deliver it and there's like maybe they should deliver it because
I'm gonna put my seats down in the Jeep and I'm gonna have to just whatever 300 fucking
dollar delivery fee you know what I was just gonna say okay so Sam's is weird they you
can do the in-store app pickup or whatever right like you curbside pickup I guess and
then they have a delivery fee if you want them to actually deliver to you and then they
have a shipping they have a shipping option like so if I like I'm I didn't realize we
only have run our last roll of what's it called not toilet paper paper towels and I was just
there the other day so I was just like fuck but I can I can order it on I can order it
for shipping it'll be free shipping because of my I guess my whatever level I'm on oh
yeah but the delivery if I want to deliver to me from the Sam it's like $15 minimum and
I'm just like I don't know you guys have way too many fucking options yeah exactly and
my stupid ass I'm just like $300 it is like I'm not getting up right I'm not going and
plus you're fucking live out on the stick so that's why they charge so much they're
like we're gonna have to find somebody with a dually or a truck for all these goddamn
fucking data rates yeah like well it's so pricey being a parent well I'm just right
shit my gosh and then then my phone go up can I tell you that my phone I'm doing I'm
talking to all the CEOs and stuff at work and and all of a sudden every single but
everybody's phone I'm sorry every single buddy what the fuck everybody's phone goes off at
the same time and it's like that it's one of those presidential alerts or some bullshit
and I said why the fuck is my phone going off I opted out of these motherfuckers I know
this makes me sound like a horrible person but I was like Amber alerts like no I'm the
same way I fucking I don't need that shit I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry little kid got
kidnapped like I I I don't know I I'm not that bad of a person but I just opt out of
any unnecessary right I mean you can believe me a text message but because my phone's always
on silent but I yeah I do the same thing that do not disturb for the presidential alerts
and Amber yeah whatever I call any of the alerts I don't give a fuck if there's gonna
be a fucking tsunami like I opt out like take me Jesus I need to leave now Jesus take the
wheel I rather be like just surprised like oh shit there's a big fucking way coming this
way um I don't know but I have been reamed by other people that find this out about me
well you know what I'm not reaming you and you tell them Baruch Medusa does the same
fucking thing so you can kindly fuck off kindly fuck off there's gonna be a hurricane
you don't think I'm gonna fucking know when I'm throwing out the trash that something's
fucking weird and going on they just kind of windy yeah is that the Santa Ana winds
yeah why is the fucking rain coming from the fucking west the east and freaking stinging
and why is the fucking clouds fucking green like I fucking I could figure it out you know
what then I don't it's so funny that you say that because I don't know if I I've told you
this before I don't know who I was telling maybe I fucking told you already but like
obviously you pay attention like I pay attention right I don't know that's the way I was raised
so it's me my mom and my daughter that live here now right so this fucking helicopter
is fucking hovering forever it's and it's not like we don't live in the bad area but
it was hovering and we go away and come back and I'm just like alright where's the fucking
fire at and my daughter like what are you talking about I'm like do you not fucking hear the
fucking helicopter like we don't live in the bad area there's a fucking fire like right
close by of course I walk out and it's like two mountains like our two streets over and
I'm like you need to start paying attention like it just irritates me yeah I don't think
I pay attention they don't nobody pays attention nobody pays attention you you see the videos
all the time where somebody's just they're walking and they have their stupid little ear
buds in and they're on their walk into a pole or walk like fucking nobody paying attention
yeah I'm just I'm the same way did you not hear that do you not and you see that and
they're like what do you ever fucking look up ever ever do you look down do you look
at anything other than your phone like just what the fuck is going on I don't I know you've
never been to my mom's house but we live at the base of the mountain on our street dead
ends right so like it's we're we're at the we're actually at the foothills I guess that's
what they fucking call it yeah another instance because we have really bad smog here since
the mountain fucking blocks everything in and then so that this that was just like this
past summer but last October because October wow I can't believe we haven't had any wild
fires because this is where we we just finished October it's it's always it's either rain season
or mudslide season or fire season for California yeah October for some reason is always bad
for Santana and wildfires hasn't happened yet this year anyway sorry last year around this
time there was a fire in a Zuzah and like the I guess the Ambers because it was windy obviously
right fucking like it lit up it lit up on our street and I called 911 somebody they're
like we're already on it we're having we're sending I guess the choppers or whatever send
the chopper yeah but this shit was on the fucking mound that's right up that like on
my street like right there right so I'm telling Marissa and my mom well whatever I don't care
I'm telling Marissa and my mom and they're looking at me like I'm like I'm crazy and
I'm like look that they're sending the thing or they're sending the thing they're sending
the chopper they're sending the chopper but I'm like I'm packing up and I'm ready to fucking
go because this is way too close and they're like what are you talking about I'm like okay
well you know what if you don't want to be ready all I need is my laptop my fucking essentials
like I have a gun safe and everything in there that like my papers right to get in there because
it's fucking fireproof yeah fireproof waterproof all that good yeah so they're like well okay
and I'm like okay well if you guys aren't gonna pack up your essentials like I'm just gonna
fucking leave if they if they've what is it called evict yeah yeah yeah are they yeah so
I'm like if they evict us like I don't know what to tell you like you guys are gonna be
back way or yeah that's it I'm like it starts with an E so if they evac if they make us evacuate
I'm like I'm ready I just need my laptop and I need my dog food and poop bags yeah yeah
they think it's a fucking joke and I'm just like okay you know what I've had it like you
know anything I say falls on deaf ears with my family so I stopped talking to my family
it's just fucking just lame I'm gonna leave with Fenway yeah bye exactly bye baby bye
happy I was telling kids because I have this emergency okay so now that I live in Oregon
we have more floods than anything and I said if a fucking flood were to really happen I'm
going on the fucking roof and I have this raft it's like this military raft kind of
it's like a flare but it's big and you just and then it just kind of inflates itself right
and I said there's over three adults that's gonna be me and my dog you guys don't want
to go you know you need a hovercraft yeah whoever's like you're starting up to follow
me and other than that like oh mom you're just crazy I'm like well then you can just
do you know how to swim right I think so you remember how we had this conversation on a
previous podcast like um would you rather be lit on fire or drown yeah I would rather
drown like you know what if there was gonna be that type of flooding in my area I guess
I'd have been like you know I'm just gonna hang out in the water and like just hold not
hold my breath and inhale it and be like you know what I had a good run yeah fucking over
everything I'm gonna go bye put my dog on a raft and like somebody take Fenway I'd be
like Jack on the Titanic and just like oh man you're gonna be fighting over who's gonna
drown first I'm like no bitch same yourself we can die together like Del and Louise exactly
that was the best movie ever like like the movie was stupid until the end when they fucking
like fuck it let's go off the cliff I'm like you know that's the way it's supposed to be
yeah exactly just end it it's a quick clean gang goes out in this style clean clean shit
and they're like is she never ungripped her mug and her and pick the watch yeah they make
the watch is their mind shit it'd be up for auction oh shit for making me laugh it's
so such dark talk though I know okay so I have a question I don't really have anything
for today since I really don't um when it comes to I guess being romantic in public are you
the type of person that likes the affection or like gives it to oh god Fenway are you
okay Fenway has the hiccups um like do you like having I don't know PDA like public displays
of affection um to an extent okay to an extent I don't like the fucking clingy type like
you have to keep giving me a kiss or keep opening my fucking door or just hold my hand
but there's times I'm like yeah like fucking grab my hand like let's walk through this
crowded bar together or um a little peck on the cheek is okay but no I'm not I'm not gonna
put my tongue in your mouth and you're not gonna put your tongue in my fucking like
don't and I hate the whole I like the little sneaky like little tap on the ass when you're
walking but don't like just grab it while I'm like in front of you at the at the in
the store and we're waiting in line like you don't need to fondle me like that I don't
I don't find that appealing what about you um I guess I'm the same like every now and
then that'd be cool I guess if you're gonna fondle my non-existent yeah but it's like
a little secret little like boo like nobody saw like ha right so um where I'm going with
this is and I didn't send you the link but um there was like a video Nate Diaz you know
because we both love Nate yes Diaz and his wife was at I guess a UFC um match I want to
say last week or the week before and they were singing singing they were sitting ringside
and like the camera zooms in on them and he throws his arm around his wife and kisses
her on the fucking forehead and I'm like and it says Nate Diaz being romantic romantic
and I'm like yeah see I can handle that yeah for sure that's cute I like that the first
time I that's the first time I saw his wife because I'm you know some people Google all
that shit I've never Google it Google it and I was just like okay those two together I
like those two together she can fucking take his fucking shit and I'm sure she can probably
probably throw a right hook really yeah yeah yeah I hate the fact I hate the PDA were it's
just like the clingy clingy just just I like it to be a little bit manly just kind of like
you don't really want to do it but then you're just doing at the right time I like that yeah
I would have to agree with you on that the world's go like that yeah I'm just like well
I was gonna say oh I have a question for you yes so if you know for a fact that somebody
is let's just say at least five years younger than you or your age and it's let's just go
female female okay if that person calls you sweetie pie or hun does that offend you or
hey princess but you know they're your age or at least five years younger no I guess
it wouldn't it's all about tone and inflection so it was a condescending or something it's
all about tone like people get mad like I can't believe you call that person a bitch I'm like
if you would listen to my tone and inflection you would understand it's like respect I'm
not fuck now if I call you a punk bitch or the if I'm pissed off when I'm talking you would
know yeah so I guess no that's it wouldn't offend me I guess unless it was like with
the tone and inflection if I can pick up on that then we can go from there would you call
somebody who's let's just say 55 plus sweetie oh I'm sorry sweetie do you need help with that
or would you would you do that if you knew somebody was older than you do you have that
like ounce of it's my elder or do you would you say oh I'm sorry hun I'm sorry sweetie
no the person's older than you would you do you do that do I you mean what I call them
sweetie yeah or hun when you know the lady older than you well I've done that before
but not because they're older I've done it with a tone and inflection like shut the fuck
up yeah like oh sweetie it's only you knew better like that you know what I'm saying so
if I were to use sweetie that's condescending if I call you a bitch then you're like yeah
that's my girl yeah but you wouldn't say um sweetie could you please go grab me a paper
towel no I'd have been like yo bitch yeah my paper towel hey oh lady right why what about
you um okay so I do not if I and I don't try to judge a book by it's covered but when I
pretty much know that you're older than me I just I don't talk to you like sweetie I do
say ma'am and I don't get offended when somebody younger than me says oh yes ma'am or I'm sorry
but you know what everybody gets offended with ma'am I've always loved being called ma'am
you do realize it's a shortened version of madame mozelle which is the long version the
shortened version is madame and then after that is ma'am so like people are like don't
call me ma'am I'm like that's madame mozelle yeah so I don't know I I love being called
ma'am please do yes yes ma'am like wow I finally deserve the title and my children will say
the same thing go did you hear what I just said yes ma'am like they don't say yes mom
they say yes ma'am exactly right I fucking love it I don't I don't get offended uh I did
get offended one time when I was in my 30s and I there was some I don't know one of my
kids friends was just ma'am it's like oh wow no no don't call me ma'am I'm only in my
30s but I don't mind I don't mind ma'am and I even I even use the sir yes I fucking use
sir all the fucking time and you know what was weird when I worked for the city along
beach nobody would do that and like the people who I would say sir to they're like why would
you say that I was just like oh my god you guys I don't know I've said this before working
in the public sector is not for me and those people are just fucking day god it's like
fucking cult yeah I would I've only ever worked with x military because I'm telecom so it's
always yes sir yes ma'am and just like everything is on I'm always I've always been on the um
the military time like the even on my yeah yeah I'm still I'm still on military time
even on my fucking phone to this day it was just how I am so I don't know I just I get
along better with military people nice nice they have some kind of discipline and they
don't fucking do the union bullshit it was like your former life yes sir shit and I know
since your dad's a retired homicide detective and you've had your ex husband as fucking
military you're pretty much the same oh yeah it's I'm always telling the kids we're gonna
get up at 0600 right they're like what we're gonna do it in the right way for the right
reasons now the one thing I did well this is not military though but the one thing I
do not in here too is the fucking meters and the goddamn fucking leaders give me a leader
cola that bullshit can fucking be hung up like give me ounces cups and I guess tablespoons
yeah well that's true too I used to hate when my dad would say really I know I'm I I'm dyslexic
a little like I'm working a little yeah a little I've been working on it and I've come
a long way but when my dad would say we only got three eighths of a tank of Petro three
eights what is three eighths of a tank like over less than half like are we close to empty
like you're like we're not overseas pop I don't know what is Petro and I don't I don't
get it well we're only at three quarters now younger I did it it was always so hard for
me just three quarters I don't know it's a half past 12 I had such a hard time reading
a manual clock because if it was three o'clock first my dyslexic mind would say oh it's like
15 like well I'm glad you you grew up grew that yeah it kind of do it sucks because okay
I'll give you an example of how it still affects me in some way is I have a co-worker and his
name is Sean Sean and I actually have a bunch of Sean's that work for the company but they're
spelled different so I have a sh a w n sh a u n and then I have a s e a n but they're all
on yeah and then I have Shane and so I keep mixing up the fucking Sean's with the shame
and I'm just like and every time I see s e a n I'm for some fucking reason I just want
to say Shane because I don't see the w or in my head it's just weird I just say seen
like like lean L E a n that's how I thought you pronounced it forever was like seen until
like somebody said I'm like oh it's actually Sean this is well obviously when I was younger
right but I was just like how did s e a n become Sean like yeah see like there's a probably
how did then like a German spelling s e h a u n that's probably the original and then
they shorten that to s h a u n and then somebody got lazy and fucking e a n I don't know I
still called it Sean I'm like where's the yeah I don't see the h in that fucking names spelling
so I just I don't know and what about colonel c o l o n i e l like colonel Sanders yeah fucking
kfc I'm like how is that colonel that's just colonial yeah I fucking I fucking hate English
I'm like how did I like I missed the fucking class or whatever on pronunciation because
that clearly is not colonel that's colonial yeah or theater like yeah the fuck it's theater
theater and what about iron I r o n I fucking say iron yeah that's how it's fucking spelled
I had a little speech impairment and I'm like on iron iron iron iron iron iron instead of
iPhone I don't know it's it's tough yeah and just imagine having to learn how to write
cursive and write fucking iron and curse oh my gosh I honestly as it as a child growing
up I liked cursive because it's like I guess I would like to your tattoo artist yeah but
when you learn cursive and the way they the proper way ugly as shit yes I don't like it
and so I made my own style or eat just yeah we all make our own style but it was like
I never have to pick up my pencil so it was like just easy just you can fall asleep yeah
because of all one flower one yeah one motion I guess or whatever yeah yeah I remember I
got my mom's checkbook one time out of her purse and I must have been like four years
old and I thought cursive was just up and down up and down up and down and like squiggles
he was writing all these checks it was just squiggles man I got in trouble for that but
I hey you didn't cash them so what she down and it was all different
it was high on Griffiths
nobody even writes checks anymore I think I'm the only person left now I have checks because
my mom doesn't like cash and I give her I write it and then she doesn't have zeal I don't
whatever I just fucking write her a check it's fucking easier it's so crazy I still use
checks here and there but when I get a check what do I do I deposit it with my phone and
take a picture very much because that's what you're supposed to fucking do why would I
want to go to the bank yeah I'm not gonna endorse this shit and put it like shit oh
my gosh yeah okay so speaking of tattoos do you know what I don't I'm assuming it's the
younger generation do you know what they're doing with you know how like last week we
talked about 3d printer printer tattoos yeah so there's people now that are getting tattoo
freckles on their fucking face freckles and I'm like well maybe if you guys would just
actually go outside of your house and step out in the sun like I did I get some fun I
have fucking freckles all over my face thanks to fucking the lockdown 2020 when everybody
was in the house I was fucking outside walking and just being outside because nobody was there
and I fucking I had sunblock on my face Pomona bullets but did I wear a hat no my face is
permanently damaged with fucking freckles everywhere do you think I like them of course not
why would you get freckles tattooed on your face why so are they doing like like orange freckles
or brown I don't know just google it like whatever I guess they're I'm just like that's worse than
eyebrow tattoos and you have eyebrow tattoos I do but you're still look good but I was just like
why would you get freckles on your fuck that's your fucking it's not just the eyebrow area
like they're getting it like on you know like under their eyes or you know like yeah and then
like on their nose and then like you know under the eyes to the cheekbone I guess I don't know
what area you want to call that but I was just like wow okay that's ridiculous well I don't know
I don't know what to say about that I was just like I was I'm so just so confused with shit today
well I remember there there was girls that would get that tattoo birthmark
to where just like above their lips look like uh Cindy Crawford or oh I forgot about that
yeah it's like what the fuck they want to look like Cindy Crawford or Marilyn Monroe and they
would get that birthmark wow I totally forgot yeah I remember there was people doing that I was just
like um okay at least it won't be cancerous yeah exactly you know what I don't like or I'm not a fan
of um is the girls or the guys that put the earrings as dimples or in their cheeks like the
little yeah I never understood that either that just looks so fucking painful yeah why would you do
that I don't know maybe I'm just old but I never I would never I was never a fan and then okay so
speaking of piercings remember when um the dick piercings were a thing I don't know yeah still are
so I was it was like the early 90s when aren't I'm sorry the late 90s when that was going on and
I'm like I'm explaining to my guy friends and I'm just like okay so they're like I would never
they're like oh that'd be cool whatever I'm like um you do realize your dick needs to be hard
in order to get that they're like what why would it be hard I'm like because it has to
fucking grow to its full potential so it the the four you know what I'm talking about yeah
it can go all the way through like you don't want it all jet fucking guys are dumb so they're like
what and then like on top of that the guy who's or your tattoo I guess your piercer has to hold
your dick while he's fucking piercing it so how gay is that yeah yeah I'm like I'm just trying to
put it into perspective for you so um I mean that's cool for the people who do do it but I was just
like yeah your dick has to be hard in order for it to get pierced you can't have it fucking soft
like oh like I was just like wow I don't want to say all guys didn't know that but I'm just like
the guys I was telling it was like three guys and of course it was at work they're like what the
fuck and I'm like you have to think this shit through guys come on oh yeah like are you just
gonna walk into a piercing shop I want my dick pierced okay well you're gonna have to get it hard
first yeah I get to hold it while I get to pierce it I don't know I'm just like I love that do it
they're like yeah it's supposed to be like it's supposed to take the intimacy to the next let I
don't know things now you know what if you have a fucking nail that needs to be filed your fingers
not even going near me you got that crusty ass shit away you're fucking with that or what if the
piercing gets like lost in your fucking yeah in your vagina and your vagine like what the fuck like
ew just gross yeah sorry I ain't kinky like that like I'm good yeah right or when they put like what
was it there was like a trend where they were putting like marbles and stuff in there did you
ever in there in their yeah and it would there no not the well not the women that the the dudes on
their penis they would put marbles so it would look like kind of like a reptilian little look
or put marbles inside their dickholes yes what yes and it oh you know how if you'll see that body
imaging like they'll sometime guys will put or girls will put marbles in underneath their skin so
like it projects out and it kind of looks like oh they have yeah but they're fucking dickhole yeah
well on like on top of it like it would just kind of I don't know yeah pass I don't know that's
some Caucasian shit I don't know any other race that would be like yeah let's do this yeah so
fucking gross I being in the dental school when I was at in college for to be a dentist um that's
when the tongue piercings were really coming out and in style and it was a trend and I can't count
how many kids that would attempt to do it on their own yeah on their own and and some that were
professionally done but it would just be so infected and the tongue is just purple and just
huge and we it it was horrible and if yeah that's it was like I was I signed up to clean teeth and
pull a tooth but not none of this shit you know um there's people I guess or I don't know the younger
generation whatever like now that they're getting their tongue like slit yes like like like like a
tongue I'm sorry like snakes and I'm just like what the fuck is wrong with you guys like who raised
you I don't know holy shit I'm like why would you do that I don't fucking get it I don't either
so crazy that's that just goes to show how old we were getting
like what the fuck is going on turning into my mom I know slowly but surely
all right I'm watching the Rams um at Dallas Cowboys and that powder puff pink that Aaron
Andrews is wearing for her fucking blazer is not working for her oh it's so lucky I'm just I'm
watching Jacksonville and Pittsburgh or Cowboys up yeah 9 30 um 33 to 9 and it's the third quarter
that just started yeah good grief okay yeah but that powder puff pink Aaron Andrews if you're
listening to our podcast huh that's not your fucking color bitch like get out of that color
real fucking quick yeah please and thank you and it was yeah but I'm already disgusted it's good yeah
yeah yes where's Pam Oliver at yeah on the screen she's probably on your screen Pam Oliver would
never wear baby pink on a fucking NFL Sunday yeah if we're gonna allow these women to be
on the sidelines man up drink some tequila while you're at it or some Jameson or some moonshine
yes man up all right I don't I don't have anything else I don't know how we don't yeah same so um
I do you have any rants uh no my only rant was whatever people call me uh sweetie and they're
like the same age as me I couldn't I couldn't even imagine like my daughter or her friend saying
thanks sweetie and you're like no it's Pomona bullets yeah dress me as such
but now and in my rings I do I am gonna rave on my white strips though my crest 3d white ships
you know okay so my thing is this I used to use those um I haven't used them in years because
I would eat up my gums but um if you take hydrogen like after you brush your teeth if you take hydrogen
peroxide and just swish it around in your mouth and spit it out that is like a lot cheaper I don't
know if it I don't know if those crest white strips fucking eat up your gums but I didn't like how the
all that fucking chemicals would just eat up my gums yeah they're pretty bad it says to do a whole
box of them and I'm like nah I just do like two yeah it's just like two a week you're fucking gums so I
don't know if you're if you want to try uh it just a suggestion you can um just like take a swig of um
don't drink it obviously right of hydrogen peroxide swish it around and spit it out after you done
brushing your teeth I'm gonna try that up my dad is like a big fan of hydrogen peroxide he's like
after I got a Vietnam if it was hydrogen peroxide I wouldn't have teeth I'm like oh okay
we were always told to just swish some hydrogen peroxide around you get one of those little cold
like not a cold sore what are those little tiny they look like little glitter yeah no but it kills
everything or even if you feel like you're coming down with a cold or oh I haven't done that I used
to do that when I would come down with a cold or like a sore throat and it would clear it up right
away but I haven't had that in a long time but that's probably because I'm eating better as well
yeah when you're younger and you yeah so or the the warm salt water yeah so
but yeah that's pretty much it I'm a boring bougie bitch today same
all right well we will call it a day thank you guys for listening and happy I guess NFL week eight
and happy uh uh harvest or Halloween whatever you whatever yeah if you do the Halloween thing well
yeah happy Halloween yeah happy happy spook have a spooktacular Halloween there you go all right
and we are out out