1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,060 What's up guys? Hey Baroque Medusa here. My book, Only Fans Funds, is officially on 2 00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:12,800 Amazon for Paperback and Kindle. In a time where social media can be the sole 3 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:17,660 source of income, ride shotgun on a content creator's journey to fame and 4 00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:23,700 freedom. Witness how Alexandrite retires her angelic halo in order to give into 5 00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:28,900 her carnal need for self-pleasure. Experience the world of an only fans 6 00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:35,560 creator through their eyes in erotic graphic detail. For the Amazon link, you 7 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:40,480 will hit the show description notes and it'll be there for you to click on. And 8 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:44,200 now let's get started. 9 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:56,480 Welcome to our podcast Top Shelf Hygienics. You are Pomona Bullets and I am Baroque 10 00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:06,480 Medusa and we are here to clink clink and drink drink. Let us begin. 11 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:20,160 Good day bitch. Good day bitch. Happy fucking Sunday. Yeah Sunday, 12 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:27,600 fun day and laundry day as always. Same. I mop the floor before I fucking log 13 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:33,840 on. That's all I'm gonna say. I don't know the kitchen floor here just likes to 14 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:40,760 attract all the fucking dirt. Same. You know I don't have my floors are all 15 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:46,400 tile and then I have well I do have carpet but I would say it's 50 50 carpet 16 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:53,160 wood and tile. It's just just get out of here. I'm done. You know how many 17 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:57,760 swifters I have to fucking use to actually clean? I'm like yeah I always use 18 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:01,120 those little swiffer things. I'm like this is great but I have to use like a 19 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:05,440 whole fucking box of those motherfuckers. Right? I was just like I feel like I'm 20 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:09,320 either always sweeping the goddamn kitchen floor washing dishes or doing 21 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:16,920 laundry but you know whatever first world problems I guess. Yeah I know my my ex 22 00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:21,720 husband used to say he would come home from work and he would tell me what are 23 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:26,480 you doing? I go I've been doing laundry all day. He's like you weren't doing laundry 24 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:34,720 the watch your machine was. You know what? That's a throat punch bitch. Yeah I was 25 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:40,000 like yeah if he wasn't a fucking marine I would just like yeah but he could probably. 26 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:50,720 Okay I'll take a bow out. That's hilarious. Fuck you. You're doing shit. The laundry machine has okay? Yeah I was like bullshit. 27 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:56,960 Well I'm putting the tide pods in there. I'm making sure. 28 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:02,400 I'm getting dirt from lifting and putting the tide pods in the goddamn washing machine. 29 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:06,520 I had to make sure that I put the fabric softener in there when it was on 30 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:13,160 rent cycle. I don't I used to use fabric softener I stopped using that. I haven't 31 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:17,160 used that in years. Do you and I haven't used bleach but most of my clothes are 32 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,840 like colored anyways. I don't even wear white socks. I use black socks. Yeah 33 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:29,600 same. I just I just have like I have a few white towels which I think I stole a 34 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:40,320 collection from hotels here and there or me the gym. Yeah. I was bleaching that and 35 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:47,800 then like my wife feeders throw those in there. I think I might have three pair of 36 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:54,600 the ankle white socks that came with like a variety color pack. Okay so that's by 37 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:59,760 default you had to get those. Yeah I was like okay but I don't I don't have 38 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:09,360 anything else white. Fuck that. I'm a messy eater. I'm a messy person. Why it just doesn't really go with me. 39 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:13,680 Right. It looks better on tan skin and since I haven't been tanning and I know 40 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:19,040 you don't tan since it's Oregon it doesn't look good on normal pasty people. 41 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:25,120 Fuck no. And then when you smile you just realize like oh shit. You know what I said. 42 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:30,520 Tea. I don't drink that much coffee. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't know what's going on. 43 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:38,920 Let's get a drink. Okay really quick. I'm drinking of course Don Julio 70 and I 44 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:44,400 changed it up. I picked up Crystal Light Fruit Punch and boy is it a game changer 45 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:50,800 besides the cherry so fruit punch Crystal Light with vodka. Yeah that sounds good. 46 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:55,920 So a game changer meaning it stepped it up a notch. I normally just like when I 47 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,240 go to the store I'm like oh I just fucking cherry but I was just like I am 48 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:05,720 over cherry. I need a new flavor so I went back to fruit fruit punch. I got hooked 49 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,640 on I don't know if you ever did Crystal Light and vodka but they have like I 50 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,320 want to say blueberry lemonade or rad and raspberry lemonade. I fucking overdosed 51 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:21,080 on both of those. I can't do either one of those anymore. So I don't know. Oh fuck. 52 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:26,640 Well every time I go to the liquor store I mean their moonshine shit I guess it's 53 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:32,000 just maybe my town or just my liquor store in town. I don't know but I decided 54 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,960 because I was like I'm gonna hydrate still so I got a bunch of coconut water 55 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:40,200 and I got that moonshine again but you know there's so many different flavors 56 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,560 that they have. I was just gonna ask do you always get the same flavor or you get 57 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:49,040 a different flavor. This one I got watermelon. Watermelon moonshine with some coconut water 58 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:56,560 and it's oh this is gonna be lethal. I don't know. But it's pretty tasty. I just have to 59 00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:01,880 watch this one. What's the brand name? You know what I don't it's just like a local 60 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:06,120 place and it just says moonshine made in Oregon and it's like I don't know if it's 61 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:12,160 somebody's backyard or what. Okay I was wondering because I'm like I'll check it out and see 62 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:16,400 if they have it down here but it's probably yeah like you said locals on. Well good for 63 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:22,440 you. Well I'm gonna have to send you some. Can you even send liquids? Probably not. You 64 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:27,840 can just fucking lie and say there's no liquids in the god damn. Yeah. I don't know it's just 65 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:34,360 real heavy and it sounds squishy but you know it's no liquids. Put a bunch of pledges. Right. 66 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:46,360 There. So how are you enjoying your one day off this week so far? So far so good. Yeah. 67 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:56,520 I oh this is how bad. I don't understand because I typically I'm not like a gym rat by all 68 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:05,280 means no way. I do not do yoga every day. I don't I just kind of keep it for my age range. 69 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:12,240 I'm like that should that's enough three days a week of yoga. Right. Two days at the gym 70 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:21,920 or just doing whatever and so fuck. I was doing sun gods and like just different little 71 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:28,560 things while I was watching fucking Netflix and my whole body hurts. Well that's what 72 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,920 the moon shines for girl. I was just like what the fuck you know the other day I was 73 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:41,040 playing darts. Why do my fucking arms hurt so bad. I played two games of darts darts. 74 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:45,480 Okay I think you really need to start like weightlifting and I mean not by any means 75 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:50,760 like hard shit just like pick up some 10 pound dumbbells and get the fucking. Okay well pick 76 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:56,480 a lot more because you shouldn't be hurting from the darts. I was just like what the fuck 77 00:07:56,480 --> 00:08:01,840 is this. Is it just your it's both shoulders or your right shoulder because no it's just 78 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:07,080 okay it's like a little chicken wing like you like when you keep I don't know if you 79 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:12,200 play darts or if you ever have but you put your elbow up almost to like your nose. Oh 80 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:16,760 yeah yeah yeah so just holding it and then releasing the dart it was just like that little 81 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:21,160 chicken wing right under I'm like fuck I mean it doesn't hurt to the point like ow I can't 82 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:27,800 do anything it's just ow it's just like what the fuck did I do. Oh yeah moon shine the 83 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:36,440 moon shine will help with the muscles get. Oh yeah for sure for sure but yeah nothing 84 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:43,360 that might my Sunday's doing is it's coming along. Well that's good and you guys I don't 85 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:50,280 remember who you guys played today. Do you guys play today. We do the Bears. Oh this is 86 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:59,040 the file clock. In LA or Chicago. Chicago. Oh is it Sunday night football. Yep. Oh okay 87 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:06,200 we play tomorrow night we play um we're in Detroit. We'll probably lose. I hope so. I 88 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:14,320 hope I can get my second. It's like a fucking KC. Oh I have to say that fucking meme you 89 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:21,320 sent me. I am dying. I am dying. I'm looking exactly like Darlene from what's oh from Rose 90 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:29,640 Ann I'm like I cannot unsee that. I'm dying. I'm dying because I was like oh okay now I 91 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:37,400 can like I can absolutely see the split. Darlene Connor. Darlene Connor in my home. 92 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:42,320 Okay so for those who are listening there was a meme on Twitter or I call it Twitter 93 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:47,280 I don't call it fucking X because fuck Elon Musk. So on Twitter or no I'm sorry it was 94 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:53,000 on Instagram. So Instagram had a meme and it said it had Patrick Mahone's the quarterback 95 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:59,320 from Kansas City and then next to it or the the next whatever the side by side picture 96 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:07,080 is it Darlene Connor from um the TV show Rose Ann and it says that um what did it say it 97 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:12,920 said Patrick Mahone's is Darlene Connor and I'm like I cannot ever unsee that they look 98 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:23,000 exactly the same. Shit so I had to send it to my bestie Pomona Bullets because I knew 99 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:30,360 she was going to get a good laugh. Yeah I was staring at that fucking side by side again 100 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:44,040 but I'm like holy fuck too much. Accurates as fuck. Yes. Accurate AF. That's right. Oh 101 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:50,280 so I'm driving to work the other day and I hear on I don't know I guess it's like a radio 102 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:59,520 station whatever little DJs whatever VJs what not VJs DJs because VJ is like dumb video 103 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:05,200 brown. Yeah. So they're talking and they're saying that uh Shugnait has a podcast and 104 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:09,440 I was like of course everybody has a podcast. I like we have a podcast. He's in a fucking 105 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:14,200 prison. How does he have a podcast? He's in prison. Thank you. Thank you. So I did my 106 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:20,600 homework and I said this this can't be true. How the fuck is Shugnait who's incarcerated. 107 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:27,720 Yeah. I'm in the podcast and it's true he has a podcast called collect calls with Shugnait. 108 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:35,240 Oh my fucking god. Yeah. Well if I ever get locked up I guess I'm gonna have to go that 109 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:40,560 route but that's never gonna happen. So what the fuck. It's just like how the fuck did 110 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:50,680 you get a podcast and I mean wow. Shit. Personally I'm so bad so right now. Hopefully all the 111 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:56,680 money he's making off of that goes and gets put on his books so he can get like great 112 00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:05,480 food and fucking prison. Yeah. Just like the good fellas. Right. And the smokes. Yeah. 113 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:12,600 And the gets in the cheese. What the fuck. Now I'm gonna have to look that up. Yeah. 114 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:18,920 I was just like I didn't listen. I don't even know but I just I actually went to I heart 115 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:26,160 and it was on there. I just put collect calls. He showed up. I was like oh fuck it's true. 116 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:31,160 Wow. I don't know who keystered the phone but he got. 117 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:37,480 I guess a podcast. Wait. So how long is the podcast isn't like collect calls for prisons 118 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:46,080 like maybe 10 minutes of that or I would wow. I'm just assuming somebody keystered a cell 119 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:51,480 phone or something for him because oh I didn't even think about that or or who knows. I don't 120 00:12:51,480 --> 00:13:00,440 know. I'm not real big in the prison. Right. I don't know. So glad. So glad. Not me. I 121 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:08,560 was a bee. Now I want to be like free and just like no. I don't know. It was insane off 122 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:15,680 the radar. Yeah. Off the fucking radar radar radar. Are you guys or does your son do anything 123 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:21,840 for Halloween or he just doesn't care. He's older now. Yeah. I try to ask him because 124 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:28,920 I wanted him to kind of go and get candy. I do like candy and I always that was the 125 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:35,640 joy of like just going to treating was right back or they would just get all the candy 126 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:40,280 that they wanted and then just give me the rest and I was like fuck yeah I'll totally 127 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:44,920 eat the paydays that they didn't want. I'll totally eat like all those were the best. 128 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:51,280 I fucking love paydays all the salt and the caramel. Yeah. I know. And because I like 129 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:59,800 you know. So I used to get all the Snickers the paydays the peanut M&M's G unit hated 130 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:07,480 chocolate go figure. So I would get all the Kit Kat and the 100 grand bars and I don't 131 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:14,000 like Milky Way's. I actually like them but there's a lot of chewing going involved. There's 132 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:18,640 just way too much caramel caramel caramel caramel I don't know how to pronounce that bullshit 133 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:27,600 or no three musketeers. Yeah. That's the most boring candy bar ever to exist. It's just 134 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:37,160 yeah just all the air. Yeah. My next to our Hershey bar just mm-hmm. I love me some Reese's 135 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:40,880 peanut butter cups. I haven't bought regular candy in a while but Reese's peanut butter 136 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:48,120 cups are my fucking thing. Oh my gosh. When I went camping here in Oregon and I wasn't 137 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:54,760 a big camper coming from SoCal. Uh-huh. Maybe glamping was more my thing like yeah I'll 138 00:14:54,760 --> 00:15:01,120 rent a cabin. Oh that was glamping means I always wonder what glamping means. So it's 139 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:06,360 renting a cabin. Well it just means you're you're gonna or if you're gonna pitch a tent 140 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:14,880 you'll bring an air mattress. Oh well I would totally be the glamper. Yeah. Yeah. My camping 141 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:22,800 in SoCal was glamping. No I was not gonna lay on the fucking ground with a sleeping bag. 142 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:32,280 No. No. I'm not a camper per I guess a camping type of person either. I equate that to being 143 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:37,520 one step above being homeless and I don't like to pretend to be homeless. So yeah put 144 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:43,760 me in a hotel or in a fucking motor home. Let's go. Yeah. Exactly. A trailer motor home 145 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:53,120 a cabin where I can just step out into it. It's fine but I am not a big camper and I 146 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:59,480 was just like thinking to myself everyone's like well you have to you should go camping. 147 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:05,080 Let's go camping. Let's go camp. Like there's so many. No. No. I don't I don't like. No 148 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:13,320 thank you. I'm not a big fan of fans. I like it. No we just need a hotel. Yeah. Or I'll 149 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:19,680 sleep in my car. Right. I'm really good at doing that. Yeah I do that every day for 150 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:32,000 lunch. So exactly. So crazy. And so just kind of going off of that everybody was asking 151 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:37,440 about like GPS because here in Oregon you have we're in the mountains we're in the hills 152 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:43,360 you get spotty reception. It doesn't matter if you have AT&T or Verizon or T-Mobile and 153 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:49,640 none of that fucking matters. None of it. If you put in a location you're trying to go 154 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:56,960 from point A to point B. Your phone will say yes this is the locations you push directions 155 00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:03,080 it starts sending you and then you can fall off the map. You get spotty reception it's 156 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:11,720 rerouting you. No signal. There's nothing and I was just thinking if there was really 157 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:17,560 no GPS I do use GPS because I became lazy. I have became lazy and the fucking information 158 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:26,600 is right here at my fingertips and I we all use it. Could you get anywhere. Could you 159 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:35,600 go like a week without GPS. If I just have to work three miles away yes but to get to 160 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:40,920 get to where I'm not normally going then no and don't ask me to break out the Thomas guide 161 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:49,400 okay. That's not happening. You think you would be pretty much like lost. Yeah I'll 162 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,760 just like I'll wait until my signal comes back up next week and then I'll come back 163 00:17:52,760 --> 00:18:04,400 and see you then. If they gave you let's just say a hundred mile radius and that was it. 164 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:09,120 No GPS but they were going to give you different some just somebody gives you different locations 165 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:12,880 meet me here and meet me here and meet me there. Do you think you would have a hard 166 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:19,320 time without your GPS. I mean if it was for fun for a scavenger hunt and I had nothing 167 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:23,600 else better to do then I'm like yeah let's go let's get like on the 605 and you tell 168 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,120 me where to meet I guess whatever like for instance Seal Beach and I'm like well I know 169 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:31,360 how to get to Seal Beach but to get to the exact location you're telling me in Seal Beach 170 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:37,640 no so I guess I could stop and ask people for directions once I get down there. Yeah 171 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:42,360 there you go remember we used to do that shit back in the day. Yes or go to the gas station 172 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:49,920 and ask the gas or the gas station attendant. Yeah they had to be fluid right and I was 173 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:57,360 thinking so I didn't realize that half the people didn't know this but if a highway goes 174 00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:06,400 north and south it would be something like the 57 so it'd be odd numbers and I'm doing 175 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:12,360 so count 57 right but if it's east and west then the highway is an even number like the 176 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:21,240 210 the 60 yeah I knew I knew that and so I just everybody else doesn't like know that 177 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:28,760 exactly. I had the majority at least I know even when I'm looking for a street address 178 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:34,800 I know the odd numbers on one side of the street and the other side but there's a lot of people 179 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:43,480 I just don't know that. You know what speaking of not knowing shit excuse me remember we 180 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:48,080 talked about this like on a podcast before but you know how like your kids don't know 181 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:54,160 how to write cursive or it's no longer mandatory in schools. Right. Yes well the governor of 182 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:59,800 California Gruesome Newsom signed a law saying it's going to be back in back in schools I 183 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:06,480 guess starting next year. Exactly I'm just like bro you're doing the wrong fucking thing 184 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:13,000 I'm like I fucking hated cursive I fucking hate that and what do you whatever I don't 185 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,800 know it's supposed to happen again first people in school and I'm like well all these fucking 186 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:22,560 new teachers that are I don't even know if the teachers that are the younger generations 187 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:29,920 do they were they even thought fucking cursive they probably weren't probably not. I'm like 188 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:37,160 this one bro. Well maybe they're trying to bring back signatures. Well yeah whatever 189 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:45,680 it's called fingerprints and eye prints or eye scan really. I don't know but yeah so 190 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:56,280 Thomas guides and cursive need to like be gone for good. Okay so now Oregon they passed 191 00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:01,840 the law that we can pump our own gas now which I thought was ridiculous because I was catered 192 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:08,560 to just pulling up to a gas station and conditioned to not step out of my car and just roll down 193 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:16,400 my window and say I fill her up that's why I'm here bitch yeah just fill her up so I 194 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:23,080 go to the gas station the other day and I go into one of the little stalls whatever and 195 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,800 I'm sitting there for a while I'm on my lunch break I'm like come on where the fuck is the 196 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:38,040 attendant nobody comes to my rescue so I was like oh fuck maybe I have to pump my own gas 197 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:46,480 no biggie I come from Southern California I pumped my gas all day long I go to try to 198 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:54,480 pump the gas I don't fucking know what I'm doing why do I not know what I'm doing and 199 00:21:54,480 --> 00:22:00,080 I put my debit card in there and then it's all your pen and then I started thinking oh 200 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:05,440 shit Baroque Medusa said she doesn't pay at the pump because of all these scams and shit 201 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:11,800 and I'm like oh my goodness I don't even know I thought you just put the card in and then 202 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:17,200 you start filling up your tank and then you stop where you stop now it's like you push 203 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:22,560 enter two times and then you push the zero and you do the like what I'm so fucking lost 204 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:30,040 like I have Oregon has made Pomona look like lazy I guess our forgetful but you know you 205 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,760 know what when I used to work for the city of Long Beach when we moved into the new city 206 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:40,120 hall the weird thing with the elevators is that you would have to press like you have 207 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:45,800 like it had you have to scan your car or whatever right that's for everybody but you press your 208 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:51,800 fucking button number for the floor on the outside before you walk in I want to say if 209 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:56,160 I remember this correctly so once you get into the elevator it takes you automatically up 210 00:22:56,160 --> 00:23:02,760 you no longer press buttons you're done oh no up or down no no up or down yeah so when 211 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:07,480 you when I go to like fucking regular buildings it's still instilled in my head like where 212 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:11,360 I go into just an old school elevator I'll be in there and the door closes and I'm like 213 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:15,080 why the fuck am I not moving like I need to get to the third floor or whatever floor and 214 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:20,040 I'm just like oh god damn the fucking city of Long Beach I have to press the button that's 215 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:28,360 on the fucking panel if I want to get to my colleague shit god damn fucking technology 216 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:39,200 has made me dumb yes yes and I was like I don't know I do a lot of that instacart stuff 217 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:47,000 and I know it's it's pricier whatever but right you can have the people in the store 218 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:51,800 get all your groceries and then you pick them up you just go and you just pick them up you 219 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:55,800 don't have to step foot in the fucking grocery store oh yeah that's what I do with Sam's 220 00:23:55,800 --> 00:24:00,760 like 99% of the time and like I fucking hate going into Sam's I don't know if you like 221 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:07,560 going into Costco that's just a fucking nightmare it is and then when you do have to end up 222 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:13,640 going inside you're like where the fuck is the milk exactly because you're not you normally 223 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:18,920 not in there so I don't know about I don't know about Costco but for Sam's you can scan 224 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:23,840 and go so like I can throw shit in my cart and I can scan it as I throw it into my cart 225 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:28,760 so when I actually leave I don't have to stand at the register I can just fucking like check 226 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:33,120 or like leave and they check my receipt you know how they always check your receipt at 227 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:37,840 the end whatever so I bypass the line but it's still a fucking nightmare because it's 228 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:45,080 a god damn warehouse you're walking through no Costco and I love the stores I love Sam's 229 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:54,040 Club I love Costco yes but I think I'm just the world has made me lazy and I allowed it 230 00:24:54,040 --> 00:25:00,800 to happen same I totally agree and this week I normally just go once a month to Sam's to 231 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:06,640 stock up on all my shit and then like this month I went Friday after work because I placed 232 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:10,960 my order on my app and I was just like I don't even want to fucking go there to pick it up 233 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:15,240 I'm like and then they have it like they offer delivery but I'm just like they're they're 234 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:22,240 delivery free is delivery fee is totally ridiculous oh my gosh okay I'll just go and wait in parking 235 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:31,720 or in the parking lot and they can drop it off I ordered a shit ton of Gatorade water 236 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:37,720 bottles just and it was for an event for one of the kids schools and I did it from Costco 237 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:41,640 and they said we could deliver it and there's like maybe they should deliver it because 238 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:47,280 I'm gonna put my seats down in the Jeep and I'm gonna have to just whatever 300 fucking 239 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:54,520 dollar delivery fee you know what I was just gonna say okay so Sam's is weird they you 240 00:25:54,520 --> 00:26:00,080 can do the in-store app pickup or whatever right like you curbside pickup I guess and 241 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,680 then they have a delivery fee if you want them to actually deliver to you and then they 242 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:09,880 have a shipping they have a shipping option like so if I like I'm I didn't realize we 243 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:16,040 only have run our last roll of what's it called not toilet paper paper towels and I was just 244 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:21,520 there the other day so I was just like fuck but I can I can order it on I can order it 245 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:26,640 for shipping it'll be free shipping because of my I guess my whatever level I'm on oh 246 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:32,000 yeah but the delivery if I want to deliver to me from the Sam it's like $15 minimum and 247 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:37,640 I'm just like I don't know you guys have way too many fucking options yeah exactly and 248 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:45,320 my stupid ass I'm just like $300 it is like I'm not getting up right I'm not going and 249 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:50,840 plus you're fucking live out on the stick so that's why they charge so much they're 250 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:56,120 like we're gonna have to find somebody with a dually or a truck for all these goddamn 251 00:26:56,120 --> 00:27:05,520 fucking data rates yeah like well it's so pricey being a parent well I'm just right 252 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:14,760 shit my gosh and then then my phone go up can I tell you that my phone I'm doing I'm 253 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:20,520 talking to all the CEOs and stuff at work and and all of a sudden every single but 254 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:25,600 everybody's phone I'm sorry every single buddy what the fuck everybody's phone goes off at 255 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:31,840 the same time and it's like that it's one of those presidential alerts or some bullshit 256 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:36,440 and I said why the fuck is my phone going off I opted out of these motherfuckers I know 257 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:41,080 this makes me sound like a horrible person but I was like Amber alerts like no I'm the 258 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:45,400 same way I fucking I don't need that shit I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry little kid got 259 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:54,360 kidnapped like I I I don't know I I'm not that bad of a person but I just opt out of 260 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:59,600 any unnecessary right I mean you can believe me a text message but because my phone's always 261 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:05,560 on silent but I yeah I do the same thing that do not disturb for the presidential alerts 262 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:10,280 and Amber yeah whatever I call any of the alerts I don't give a fuck if there's gonna 263 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:18,840 be a fucking tsunami like I opt out like take me Jesus I need to leave now Jesus take the 264 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:24,480 wheel I rather be like just surprised like oh shit there's a big fucking way coming this 265 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:35,560 way um I don't know but I have been reamed by other people that find this out about me 266 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:42,000 well you know what I'm not reaming you and you tell them Baruch Medusa does the same 267 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:48,880 fucking thing so you can kindly fuck off kindly fuck off there's gonna be a hurricane 268 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,680 you don't think I'm gonna fucking know when I'm throwing out the trash that something's 269 00:28:52,680 --> 00:29:00,000 fucking weird and going on they just kind of windy yeah is that the Santa Ana winds 270 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:06,040 yeah why is the fucking rain coming from the fucking west the east and freaking stinging 271 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:14,720 and why is the fucking clouds fucking green like I fucking I could figure it out you know 272 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:19,600 what then I don't it's so funny that you say that because I don't know if I I've told you 273 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:24,280 this before I don't know who I was telling maybe I fucking told you already but like 274 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:28,200 obviously you pay attention like I pay attention right I don't know that's the way I was raised 275 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:33,200 so it's me my mom and my daughter that live here now right so this fucking helicopter 276 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:38,200 is fucking hovering forever it's and it's not like we don't live in the bad area but 277 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:42,000 it was hovering and we go away and come back and I'm just like alright where's the fucking 278 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,640 fire at and my daughter like what are you talking about I'm like do you not fucking hear the 279 00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:50,200 fucking helicopter like we don't live in the bad area there's a fucking fire like right 280 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:56,200 close by of course I walk out and it's like two mountains like our two streets over and 281 00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:01,440 I'm like you need to start paying attention like it just irritates me yeah I don't think 282 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:10,160 I pay attention they don't nobody pays attention nobody pays attention you you see the videos 283 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:16,800 all the time where somebody's just they're walking and they have their stupid little ear 284 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:25,280 buds in and they're on their walk into a pole or walk like fucking nobody paying attention 285 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:33,360 yeah I'm just I'm the same way did you not hear that do you not and you see that and 286 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:40,160 they're like what do you ever fucking look up ever ever do you look down do you look 287 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:46,480 at anything other than your phone like just what the fuck is going on I don't I know you've 288 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:51,160 never been to my mom's house but we live at the base of the mountain on our street dead 289 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:55,840 ends right so like it's we're we're at the we're actually at the foothills I guess that's 290 00:30:55,840 --> 00:31:01,160 what they fucking call it yeah another instance because we have really bad smog here since 291 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:07,000 the mountain fucking blocks everything in and then so that this that was just like this 292 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:12,120 past summer but last October because October wow I can't believe we haven't had any wild 293 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:17,680 fires because this is where we we just finished October it's it's always it's either rain season 294 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:23,920 or mudslide season or fire season for California yeah October for some reason is always bad 295 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:30,040 for Santana and wildfires hasn't happened yet this year anyway sorry last year around this 296 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:37,160 time there was a fire in a Zuzah and like the I guess the Ambers because it was windy obviously 297 00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:41,360 right fucking like it lit up it lit up on our street and I called 911 somebody they're 298 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:45,960 like we're already on it we're having we're sending I guess the choppers or whatever send 299 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:54,200 the chopper yeah but this shit was on the fucking mound that's right up that like on 300 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:59,640 my street like right there right so I'm telling Marissa and my mom well whatever I don't care 301 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:04,080 I'm telling Marissa and my mom and they're looking at me like I'm like I'm crazy and 302 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:08,640 I'm like look that they're sending the thing or they're sending the thing they're sending 303 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:14,200 the chopper they're sending the chopper but I'm like I'm packing up and I'm ready to fucking 304 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:18,320 go because this is way too close and they're like what are you talking about I'm like okay 305 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:23,520 well you know what if you don't want to be ready all I need is my laptop my fucking essentials 306 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:28,400 like I have a gun safe and everything in there that like my papers right to get in there because 307 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:33,640 it's fucking fireproof yeah fireproof waterproof all that good yeah so they're like well okay 308 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:37,800 and I'm like okay well if you guys aren't gonna pack up your essentials like I'm just gonna 309 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:44,520 fucking leave if they if they've what is it called evict yeah yeah yeah are they yeah so 310 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,920 I'm like if they evict us like I don't know what to tell you like you guys are gonna be 311 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:53,520 back way or yeah that's it I'm like it starts with an E so if they evac if they make us evacuate 312 00:32:53,520 --> 00:33:01,040 I'm like I'm ready I just need my laptop and I need my dog food and poop bags yeah yeah 313 00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:07,880 they think it's a fucking joke and I'm just like okay you know what I've had it like you 314 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:12,600 know anything I say falls on deaf ears with my family so I stopped talking to my family 315 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:26,000 it's just fucking just lame I'm gonna leave with Fenway yeah bye exactly bye baby bye 316 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:33,120 happy I was telling kids because I have this emergency okay so now that I live in Oregon 317 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:39,560 we have more floods than anything and I said if a fucking flood were to really happen I'm 318 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:44,760 going on the fucking roof and I have this raft it's like this military raft kind of 319 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:52,160 it's like a flare but it's big and you just and then it just kind of inflates itself right 320 00:33:52,160 --> 00:34:00,640 and I said there's over three adults that's gonna be me and my dog you guys don't want 321 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:05,760 to go you know you need a hovercraft yeah whoever's like you're starting up to follow 322 00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:10,840 me and other than that like oh mom you're just crazy I'm like well then you can just 323 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:17,400 do you know how to swim right I think so you remember how we had this conversation on a 324 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:23,760 previous podcast like um would you rather be lit on fire or drown yeah I would rather 325 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:28,080 drown like you know what if there was gonna be that type of flooding in my area I guess 326 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:31,000 I'd have been like you know I'm just gonna hang out in the water and like just hold not 327 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:36,080 hold my breath and inhale it and be like you know what I had a good run yeah fucking over 328 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:43,080 everything I'm gonna go bye put my dog on a raft and like somebody take Fenway I'd be 329 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:52,920 like Jack on the Titanic and just like oh man you're gonna be fighting over who's gonna 330 00:34:52,920 --> 00:35:09,920 drown first I'm like no bitch same yourself we can die together like Del and Louise exactly 331 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:14,200 that was the best movie ever like like the movie was stupid until the end when they fucking 332 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,200 like fuck it let's go off the cliff I'm like you know that's the way it's supposed to be 333 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:30,240 yeah exactly just end it it's a quick clean gang goes out in this style clean clean shit 334 00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:39,920 and they're like is she never ungripped her mug and her and pick the watch yeah they make 335 00:35:39,920 --> 00:36:01,000 the watch is their mind shit it'd be up for auction oh shit for making me laugh it's 336 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:14,040 so such dark talk though I know okay so I have a question I don't really have anything 337 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:21,520 for today since I really don't um when it comes to I guess being romantic in public are you 338 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:26,600 the type of person that likes the affection or like gives it to oh god Fenway are you 339 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:34,320 okay Fenway has the hiccups um like do you like having I don't know PDA like public displays 340 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:42,120 of affection um to an extent okay to an extent I don't like the fucking clingy type like 341 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:48,360 you have to keep giving me a kiss or keep opening my fucking door or just hold my hand 342 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:52,560 but there's times I'm like yeah like fucking grab my hand like let's walk through this 343 00:36:52,560 --> 00:37:00,920 crowded bar together or um a little peck on the cheek is okay but no I'm not I'm not gonna 344 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:05,920 put my tongue in your mouth and you're not gonna put your tongue in my fucking like 345 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:10,520 don't and I hate the whole I like the little sneaky like little tap on the ass when you're 346 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:15,520 walking but don't like just grab it while I'm like in front of you at the at the in 347 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:20,920 the store and we're waiting in line like you don't need to fondle me like that I don't 348 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:26,760 I don't find that appealing what about you um I guess I'm the same like every now and 349 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:30,960 then that'd be cool I guess if you're gonna fondle my non-existent yeah but it's like 350 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:38,040 a little secret little like boo like nobody saw like ha right so um where I'm going with 351 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:43,240 this is and I didn't send you the link but um there was like a video Nate Diaz you know 352 00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:49,040 because we both love Nate yes Diaz and his wife was at I guess a UFC um match I want to 353 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:54,320 say last week or the week before and they were singing singing they were sitting ringside 354 00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:58,440 and like the camera zooms in on them and he throws his arm around his wife and kisses 355 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:03,360 her on the fucking forehead and I'm like and it says Nate Diaz being romantic romantic 356 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:10,760 and I'm like yeah see I can handle that yeah for sure that's cute I like that the first 357 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:14,200 time I that's the first time I saw his wife because I'm you know some people Google all 358 00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:18,000 that shit I've never Google it Google it and I was just like okay those two together I 359 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:24,120 like those two together she can fucking take his fucking shit and I'm sure she can probably 360 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:36,480 probably throw a right hook really yeah yeah yeah I hate the fact I hate the PDA were it's 361 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:43,920 just like the clingy clingy just just I like it to be a little bit manly just kind of like 362 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:50,520 you don't really want to do it but then you're just doing at the right time I like that yeah 363 00:38:50,520 --> 00:39:00,960 I would have to agree with you on that the world's go like that yeah I'm just like well 364 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:09,920 I was gonna say oh I have a question for you yes so if you know for a fact that somebody 365 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:22,320 is let's just say at least five years younger than you or your age and it's let's just go 366 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:33,280 female female okay if that person calls you sweetie pie or hun does that offend you or 367 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:42,160 hey princess but you know they're your age or at least five years younger no I guess 368 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:47,760 it wouldn't it's all about tone and inflection so it was a condescending or something it's 369 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:52,280 all about tone like people get mad like I can't believe you call that person a bitch I'm like 370 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:57,680 if you would listen to my tone and inflection you would understand it's like respect I'm 371 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:03,120 not fuck now if I call you a punk bitch or the if I'm pissed off when I'm talking you would 372 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:10,880 know yeah so I guess no that's it wouldn't offend me I guess unless it was like with 373 00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:17,520 the tone and inflection if I can pick up on that then we can go from there would you call 374 00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:27,760 somebody who's let's just say 55 plus sweetie oh I'm sorry sweetie do you need help with that 375 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:31,960 or would you would you do that if you knew somebody was older than you do you have that 376 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:40,080 like ounce of it's my elder or do you would you say oh I'm sorry hun I'm sorry sweetie 377 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:48,720 no the person's older than you would you do you do that do I you mean what I call them 378 00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:55,760 sweetie yeah or hun when you know the lady older than you well I've done that before 379 00:40:55,760 --> 00:41:00,400 but not because they're older I've done it with a tone and inflection like shut the fuck 380 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:07,720 up yeah like oh sweetie it's only you knew better like that you know what I'm saying so 381 00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:12,400 if I were to use sweetie that's condescending if I call you a bitch then you're like yeah 382 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:18,680 that's my girl yeah but you wouldn't say um sweetie could you please go grab me a paper 383 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:26,520 towel no I'd have been like yo bitch yeah my paper towel hey oh lady right why what about 384 00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:33,160 you um okay so I do not if I and I don't try to judge a book by it's covered but when I 385 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:39,160 pretty much know that you're older than me I just I don't talk to you like sweetie I do 386 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:46,040 say ma'am and I don't get offended when somebody younger than me says oh yes ma'am or I'm sorry 387 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:50,360 but you know what everybody gets offended with ma'am I've always loved being called ma'am 388 00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:55,040 you do realize it's a shortened version of madame mozelle which is the long version the 389 00:41:55,040 --> 00:42:00,680 shortened version is madame and then after that is ma'am so like people are like don't 390 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:06,640 call me ma'am I'm like that's madame mozelle yeah so I don't know I I love being called 391 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:16,840 ma'am please do yes yes ma'am like wow I finally deserve the title and my children will say 392 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:22,000 the same thing go did you hear what I just said yes ma'am like they don't say yes mom 393 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:28,960 they say yes ma'am exactly right I fucking love it I don't I don't get offended uh I did 394 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:34,840 get offended one time when I was in my 30s and I there was some I don't know one of my 395 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:43,960 kids friends was just ma'am it's like oh wow no no don't call me ma'am I'm only in my 396 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:56,080 30s but I don't mind I don't mind ma'am and I even I even use the sir yes I fucking use 397 00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:59,520 sir all the fucking time and you know what was weird when I worked for the city along 398 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:03,480 beach nobody would do that and like the people who I would say sir to they're like why would 399 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:09,120 you say that I was just like oh my god you guys I don't know I've said this before working 400 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:14,320 in the public sector is not for me and those people are just fucking day god it's like 401 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:20,960 fucking cult yeah I would I've only ever worked with x military because I'm telecom so it's 402 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:26,320 always yes sir yes ma'am and just like everything is on I'm always I've always been on the um 403 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:32,520 the military time like the even on my yeah yeah I'm still I'm still on military time 404 00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:38,040 even on my fucking phone to this day it was just how I am so I don't know I just I get 405 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:43,920 along better with military people nice nice they have some kind of discipline and they 406 00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:51,560 don't fucking do the union bullshit it was like your former life yes sir shit and I know 407 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:57,640 since your dad's a retired homicide detective and you've had your ex husband as fucking 408 00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:02,520 military you're pretty much the same oh yeah it's I'm always telling the kids we're gonna 409 00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:09,400 get up at 0600 right they're like what we're gonna do it in the right way for the right 410 00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:15,520 reasons now the one thing I did well this is not military though but the one thing I 411 00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:20,560 do not in here too is the fucking meters and the goddamn fucking leaders give me a leader 412 00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:27,160 cola that bullshit can fucking be hung up like give me ounces cups and I guess tablespoons 413 00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:35,440 yeah well that's true too I used to hate when my dad would say really I know I'm I I'm dyslexic 414 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:41,040 a little like I'm working a little yeah a little I've been working on it and I've come 415 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:48,160 a long way but when my dad would say we only got three eighths of a tank of Petro three 416 00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:54,760 eights what is three eighths of a tank like over less than half like are we close to empty 417 00:44:54,760 --> 00:45:03,120 like you're like we're not overseas pop I don't know what is Petro and I don't I don't 418 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:10,720 get it well we're only at three quarters now younger I did it it was always so hard for 419 00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:20,400 me just three quarters I don't know it's a half past 12 I had such a hard time reading 420 00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:28,800 a manual clock because if it was three o'clock first my dyslexic mind would say oh it's like 421 00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:40,520 15 like well I'm glad you you grew up grew that yeah it kind of do it sucks because okay 422 00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:46,720 I'll give you an example of how it still affects me in some way is I have a co-worker and his 423 00:45:46,720 --> 00:45:53,840 name is Sean Sean and I actually have a bunch of Sean's that work for the company but they're 424 00:45:53,840 --> 00:46:03,840 spelled different so I have a sh a w n sh a u n and then I have a s e a n but they're all 425 00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:10,880 on yeah and then I have Shane and so I keep mixing up the fucking Sean's with the shame 426 00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:18,920 and I'm just like and every time I see s e a n I'm for some fucking reason I just want 427 00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:26,560 to say Shane because I don't see the w or in my head it's just weird I just say seen 428 00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:31,720 like like lean L E a n that's how I thought you pronounced it forever was like seen until 429 00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:35,440 like somebody said I'm like oh it's actually Sean this is well obviously when I was younger 430 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:43,440 right but I was just like how did s e a n become Sean like yeah see like there's a probably 431 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:48,840 how did then like a German spelling s e h a u n that's probably the original and then 432 00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:56,120 they shorten that to s h a u n and then somebody got lazy and fucking e a n I don't know I 433 00:46:56,120 --> 00:47:02,800 still called it Sean I'm like where's the yeah I don't see the h in that fucking names spelling 434 00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:10,440 so I just I don't know and what about colonel c o l o n i e l like colonel Sanders yeah fucking 435 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:18,720 kfc I'm like how is that colonel that's just colonial yeah I fucking I fucking hate English 436 00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:23,200 I'm like how did I like I missed the fucking class or whatever on pronunciation because 437 00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:31,880 that clearly is not colonel that's colonial yeah or theater like yeah the fuck it's theater 438 00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:40,160 theater and what about iron I r o n I fucking say iron yeah that's how it's fucking spelled 439 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:49,800 I had a little speech impairment and I'm like on iron iron iron iron iron iron instead of 440 00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:58,360 iPhone I don't know it's it's tough yeah and just imagine having to learn how to write 441 00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:06,600 cursive and write fucking iron and curse oh my gosh I honestly as it as a child growing 442 00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:13,120 up I liked cursive because it's like I guess I would like to your tattoo artist yeah but 443 00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:23,040 when you learn cursive and the way they the proper way ugly as shit yes I don't like it 444 00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:29,520 and so I made my own style or eat just yeah we all make our own style but it was like 445 00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:35,600 I never have to pick up my pencil so it was like just easy just you can fall asleep yeah 446 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:43,840 because of all one flower one yeah one motion I guess or whatever yeah yeah I remember I 447 00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:50,760 got my mom's checkbook one time out of her purse and I must have been like four years 448 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:55,400 old and I thought cursive was just up and down up and down up and down and like squiggles 449 00:48:55,400 --> 00:49:02,560 he was writing all these checks it was just squiggles man I got in trouble for that but 450 00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:07,200 I hey you didn't cash them so what she down and it was all different 451 00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:14,000 it was high on Griffiths 452 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:20,640 nobody even writes checks anymore I think I'm the only person left now I have checks because 453 00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:25,560 my mom doesn't like cash and I give her I write it and then she doesn't have zeal I don't 454 00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:30,840 whatever I just fucking write her a check it's fucking easier it's so crazy I still use 455 00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:37,720 checks here and there but when I get a check what do I do I deposit it with my phone and 456 00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:42,920 take a picture very much because that's what you're supposed to fucking do why would I 457 00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:50,840 want to go to the bank yeah I'm not gonna endorse this shit and put it like shit oh 458 00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:58,600 my gosh yeah okay so speaking of tattoos do you know what I don't I'm assuming it's the 459 00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:02,760 younger generation do you know what they're doing with you know how like last week we 460 00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:10,200 talked about 3d printer printer tattoos yeah so there's people now that are getting tattoo 461 00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:17,880 freckles on their fucking face freckles and I'm like well maybe if you guys would just 462 00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:22,360 actually go outside of your house and step out in the sun like I did I get some fun I 463 00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:27,080 have fucking freckles all over my face thanks to fucking the lockdown 2020 when everybody 464 00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:31,960 was in the house I was fucking outside walking and just being outside because nobody was there 465 00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:37,480 and I fucking I had sunblock on my face Pomona bullets but did I wear a hat no my face is 466 00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:41,960 permanently damaged with fucking freckles everywhere do you think I like them of course not 467 00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:49,560 why would you get freckles tattooed on your face why so are they doing like like orange freckles 468 00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:54,680 or brown I don't know just google it like whatever I guess they're I'm just like that's worse than 469 00:50:54,680 --> 00:51:00,760 eyebrow tattoos and you have eyebrow tattoos I do but you're still look good but I was just like 470 00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:05,960 why would you get freckles on your fuck that's your fucking it's not just the eyebrow area 471 00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:11,720 like they're getting it like on you know like under their eyes or you know like yeah and then 472 00:51:11,720 --> 00:51:16,360 like on their nose and then like you know under the eyes to the cheekbone I guess I don't know 473 00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:25,960 what area you want to call that but I was just like wow okay that's ridiculous well I don't know 474 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:31,480 I don't know what to say about that I was just like I was I'm so just so confused with shit today 475 00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:38,760 well I remember there there was girls that would get that tattoo birthmark 476 00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:46,440 to where just like above their lips look like uh Cindy Crawford or oh I forgot about that 477 00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:51,000 yeah it's like what the fuck they want to look like Cindy Crawford or Marilyn Monroe and they 478 00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:58,120 would get that birthmark wow I totally forgot yeah I remember there was people doing that I was just 479 00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:08,520 like um okay at least it won't be cancerous yeah exactly you know what I don't like or I'm not a fan 480 00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:17,320 of um is the girls or the guys that put the earrings as dimples or in their cheeks like the 481 00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:22,840 little yeah I never understood that either that just looks so fucking painful yeah why would you do 482 00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:29,160 that I don't know maybe I'm just old but I never I would never I was never a fan and then okay so 483 00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:33,960 speaking of piercings remember when um the dick piercings were a thing I don't know yeah still are 484 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:39,960 so I was it was like the early 90s when aren't I'm sorry the late 90s when that was going on and 485 00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:45,320 I'm like I'm explaining to my guy friends and I'm just like okay so they're like I would never 486 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:50,440 they're like oh that'd be cool whatever I'm like um you do realize your dick needs to be hard 487 00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:55,720 in order to get that they're like what why would it be hard I'm like because it has to 488 00:52:55,720 --> 00:53:00,520 fucking grow to its full potential so it the the four you know what I'm talking about yeah 489 00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:05,560 it can go all the way through like you don't want it all jet fucking guys are dumb so they're like 490 00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:11,000 what and then like on top of that the guy who's or your tattoo I guess your piercer has to hold 491 00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:19,080 your dick while he's fucking piercing it so how gay is that yeah yeah I'm like I'm just trying to 492 00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:25,800 put it into perspective for you so um I mean that's cool for the people who do do it but I was just 493 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:30,120 like yeah your dick has to be hard in order for it to get pierced you can't have it fucking soft 494 00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:37,320 like oh like I was just like wow I don't want to say all guys didn't know that but I'm just like 495 00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:41,880 the guys I was telling it was like three guys and of course it was at work they're like what the 496 00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:46,280 fuck and I'm like you have to think this shit through guys come on oh yeah like are you just 497 00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:50,200 gonna walk into a piercing shop I want my dick pierced okay well you're gonna have to get it hard 498 00:53:50,200 --> 00:54:00,600 first yeah I get to hold it while I get to pierce it I don't know I'm just like I love that do it 499 00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:08,360 they're like yeah it's supposed to be like it's supposed to take the intimacy to the next let I 500 00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:13,640 don't know things now you know what if you have a fucking nail that needs to be filed your fingers 501 00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:25,720 not even going near me you got that crusty ass shit away you're fucking with that or what if the 502 00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:34,360 piercing gets like lost in your fucking yeah in your vagina and your vagine like what the fuck like 503 00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:43,880 ew just gross yeah sorry I ain't kinky like that like I'm good yeah right or when they put like what 504 00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:50,920 was it there was like a trend where they were putting like marbles and stuff in there did you 505 00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:58,520 ever in there in their yeah and it would there no not the well not the women that the the dudes on 506 00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:04,760 their penis they would put marbles so it would look like kind of like a reptilian little look 507 00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:13,320 or put marbles inside their dickholes yes what yes and it oh you know how if you'll see that body 508 00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:22,680 imaging like they'll sometime guys will put or girls will put marbles in underneath their skin so 509 00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:29,000 like it projects out and it kind of looks like oh they have yeah but they're fucking dickhole yeah 510 00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:38,680 well on like on top of it like it would just kind of I don't know yeah pass I don't know that's 511 00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:45,320 some Caucasian shit I don't know any other race that would be like yeah let's do this yeah so 512 00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:53,320 fucking gross I being in the dental school when I was at in college for to be a dentist um that's 513 00:55:53,320 --> 00:56:01,240 when the tongue piercings were really coming out and in style and it was a trend and I can't count 514 00:56:01,240 --> 00:56:10,840 how many kids that would attempt to do it on their own yeah on their own and and some that were 515 00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:17,640 professionally done but it would just be so infected and the tongue is just purple and just 516 00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:28,360 huge and we it it was horrible and if yeah that's it was like I was I signed up to clean teeth and 517 00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:34,440 pull a tooth but not none of this shit you know um there's people I guess or I don't know the younger 518 00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:41,160 generation whatever like now that they're getting their tongue like slit yes like like like like a 519 00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:48,040 tongue I'm sorry like snakes and I'm just like what the fuck is wrong with you guys like who raised 520 00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:56,200 you I don't know holy shit I'm like why would you do that I don't fucking get it I don't either 521 00:56:57,240 --> 00:57:00,840 so crazy that's that just goes to show how old we were getting 522 00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:07,640 like what the fuck is going on turning into my mom I know slowly but surely 523 00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:18,600 all right I'm watching the Rams um at Dallas Cowboys and that powder puff pink that Aaron 524 00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:25,720 Andrews is wearing for her fucking blazer is not working for her oh it's so lucky I'm just I'm 525 00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:33,880 watching Jacksonville and Pittsburgh or Cowboys up yeah 9 30 um 33 to 9 and it's the third quarter 526 00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:41,080 that just started yeah good grief okay yeah but that powder puff pink Aaron Andrews if you're 527 00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:47,400 listening to our podcast huh that's not your fucking color bitch like get out of that color 528 00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:53,400 real fucking quick yeah please and thank you and it was yeah but I'm already disgusted it's good yeah 529 00:57:53,400 --> 00:58:00,280 yeah yes where's Pam Oliver at yeah on the screen she's probably on your screen Pam Oliver would 530 00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:09,880 never wear baby pink on a fucking NFL Sunday yeah if we're gonna allow these women to be 531 00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:18,600 on the sidelines man up drink some tequila while you're at it or some Jameson or some moonshine 532 00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:30,920 yes man up all right I don't I don't have anything else I don't know how we don't yeah same so um 533 00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:39,240 I do you have any rants uh no my only rant was whatever people call me uh sweetie and they're 534 00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:44,360 like the same age as me I couldn't I couldn't even imagine like my daughter or her friend saying 535 00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:48,360 thanks sweetie and you're like no it's Pomona bullets yeah dress me as such 536 00:58:51,080 --> 00:59:03,080 but now and in my rings I do I am gonna rave on my white strips though my crest 3d white ships 537 00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:09,080 you know okay so my thing is this I used to use those um I haven't used them in years because 538 00:59:09,080 --> 00:59:14,600 I would eat up my gums but um if you take hydrogen like after you brush your teeth if you take hydrogen 539 00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:21,480 peroxide and just swish it around in your mouth and spit it out that is like a lot cheaper I don't 540 00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:25,880 know if it I don't know if those crest white strips fucking eat up your gums but I didn't like how the 541 00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:31,480 all that fucking chemicals would just eat up my gums yeah they're pretty bad it says to do a whole 542 00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:38,920 box of them and I'm like nah I just do like two yeah it's just like two a week you're fucking gums so I 543 00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:44,200 don't know if you're if you want to try uh it just a suggestion you can um just like take a swig of um 544 00:59:44,200 --> 00:59:49,400 don't drink it obviously right of hydrogen peroxide swish it around and spit it out after you done 545 00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:55,640 brushing your teeth I'm gonna try that up my dad is like a big fan of hydrogen peroxide he's like 546 00:59:55,640 --> 01:00:01,720 after I got a Vietnam if it was hydrogen peroxide I wouldn't have teeth I'm like oh okay 547 01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:09,800 we were always told to just swish some hydrogen peroxide around you get one of those little cold 548 01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:14,040 like not a cold sore what are those little tiny they look like little glitter yeah no but it kills 549 01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:18,040 everything or even if you feel like you're coming down with a cold or oh I haven't done that I used 550 01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:21,720 to do that when I would come down with a cold or like a sore throat and it would clear it up right 551 01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:25,720 away but I haven't had that in a long time but that's probably because I'm eating better as well 552 01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:33,400 yeah when you're younger and you yeah so or the the warm salt water yeah so 553 01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:42,360 but yeah that's pretty much it I'm a boring bougie bitch today same 554 01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:50,600 all right well we will call it a day thank you guys for listening and happy I guess NFL week eight 555 01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:57,720 and happy uh uh harvest or Halloween whatever you whatever yeah if you do the Halloween thing well 556 01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:06,280 yeah happy Halloween yeah happy happy spook have a spooktacular Halloween there you go all right 557 01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:21,960 and we are out out