What up everybody Baruch Medusa here. Hey really quick I have a new book only
fans funds and it drops this Friday October 27th on Amazon. It will be
available in paperback and Kindle. It is erotic poetry. It is an erotic story. It
is an explicit story about content creator Alexandrite and how she reacts
over her influence over her newfound freedom how she reacts over her new
found subscribers. It is how she reacts over herself being turned on by having an
only fans account. Check it out. Link is in the show notes and now let's get on to
the episode.
Alright are you happy or sad? Which way? Oh I guess. Oh you're happy and you are?
I'm on a bullet. I guess I'm happy. Oh I'm always happy bitch. I am Baruch Medusa.
This is Top Show Hi-Shanks and we clink clinkin bitches.
Good day bestie. Good day. Oh a little under the weather. Girl my back okay my
back is good but then I fucking like oh you know what let me just go work out
today and get leg day in yeah no just like whatever the fuck so I'm gonna
get in here on the heating pad on my third shot of tequila. I'm afraid if I'm yelling I'm already drunk.
Oh nice I was that was my plan but then I woke up and I couldn't breathe. You sound
sick. I know there's like damn it I guess it's peppermint tea and vodka. That's my
girl right there clink clink. Okay so yeah okay so if you're doing my night
time cap I'm doing obviously Don Julio 70 and then my cherry crystal light with
vodka. Yum. So yeah I'm waiting for the liquor
started open because I'm thinking hot toddy sounds pretty good right about now.
That'll help a lot for your sinuses. Yeah I'm just like take that with a
Benadryl. Yeah for sure. And hey really quick to our listeners Sue if you're
listening I emailed you back and we would like to have you on our podcast
please check your email and reply. Yes Sue you are hilarious. Your story needs to be
told out loud by you and not by me and Pomona Bullets so we're hoping you will
say yes to joining us. Clink clink clink clink. Okay so moving right along did you
get sick from work then or did you work yesterday or no I didn't I didn't work
yesterday thank god but no I think it's just it's just about that time it's that
season. Okay and I'm like great usually I'm pretty good at not getting sick but
yeah just that little head cold congestion crap. Right so when are you
supposed to be working three Saturdays in a row then? Starting tomorrow. Okay
that's why I didn't really bug you yesterday I'm like she's probably working.
Yeah Saturday off. No my my three weeks of hell start tomorrow. All right well I
guess it's hell camp or what boot camp. Hell week whatever the fuck it's called.
Hell week for three weeks in a row. Yes so yesterday I was gonna text you if that
you were working guess where I passed by I passed by our favorite hang spot
Chili's in Laverne. I had to hit the Michaels and there's a Michaels I guess
across the way because that's where Google Maps took me but I'm like oh
there's Chili's there's our favorite hang time. Can't believe it's still there. I can't believe it's still open either and that
movie theater is still there too. Wow right huh interesting. I miss those days
with you with the just the bar area. That's ridiculous. That was our spot. Yes and
speaking of spots I have a spot on my forehead and by forehead my forehead is
big as you're aware or as you've seen and I woke up I think it was on Thursday I
guess I had a bite I'm assuming it's a mosquito bite the mosquitoes are gone
but I have a mosquito bite that's or some kind of bug bite on my forehead
that's just off center to the left. My forehead looks like Quasimodo's back.
No and I'm just like you know what I don't even fucking care I'm gonna wear
this hunchback a Notre Dame on my forehead proudly just fucking stop
itches so fucking bad I'm like how long whatever the fuck I look ridiculous.
We're a hat we're beanie we're hot whatever right it's just like it just itches I'm like I
hate those and I know you know you're not supposed to scratch them so I get my
nail and I'll put like an X mark on it on the same way because it was hot last
week so it's supposed to cool off I guess starting this week but when I get
overheated when I heat up and if I have a bite or whatever it just really gets
inflamed and just starts itching so fucking bad I don't know about you but
that's I'm a weirdo I guess when it comes to my body or whatever but I was
just like that's ever since then it started just like becoming really
swollen I'm just like please go down. Oh I know those are the worst.
Those are the worst. I had some ink on it my wrist that tattoo on my wrist on the left hand.
Right. I had some orange ink in there that I don't know if it every once in a
while it would just get like inflamed and it would itch like if I was having
some type of you know action or something I don't know. That was probably
not like long after you got it done right. Yeah okay I'm the same way with um I
don't know what it is with red ink but I know red ink I I want to say red ink
does that because when I get hot or if it's hot outside and I start overheating
the red ink on my arms or my I guess in my in the cat the cat on my by my
shoulder yeah that shit just starts fucking itching and these tattoo or that
tattoo is at least 15 years old and it gets like all it gets all raised. Yes
that's what yeah to my wrist and it wouldn't be all the time and I can't
really pinpoint why it's just sometimes like in the summer and I wake up and I'm
hot and yeah my blankets and it just starts itching and just the orange would
just raise up a little bit not yeah but it's like a motherfucker and then it would
go down but right I remember I want to say was one of my tattoo guys that told
me that the red ink or I guess maybe the orange ink too I don't know for some
reason it does that so like maybe it's just toxic yeah cancer and all of my
tattoo I'm slowly dying make me die faster please and thank you
yeah speaking of that though I was listening to a radio station here in
Oregon and these guys are talking about like tattoos of the future and stuff and
I already knew or heard that there was like that glow-in-the-dark ink oh yeah
yeah yeah you and you you don't see the tattoo unless you're under like a black
light or whatnot and then I heard of like the disappearing ink which I don't
think that's future of the tattoo that would remind me of like the henna that
you can get the henna tattoos oh yeah or you just paint it on so I don't I don't
know but the disappearing ink you can have one year four or five year just
depends and then it just gradually disappears like I don't know I don't
really I guess they would just draw it on you so I don't and then the they were
talking about these little like micro needles that I guess some French and
Ventura converted it one of those 3d printers into a tattoo like a what yes
yes and so you know how those 3d printers are so precise and like we were
talking yeah yeah so it will you can put your arm and it'll whatever F and
picture you want they said it's faster it's it's more that's less painless than
an original like but it's permanent yeah you know I still cannot wrap my head
around 3d printers right around those things just like I cannot wrap my head
around that I can wrap my head around artificial intelligence all day long but
when it comes to 3d printers I'm like what the fuck bro yeah like how I don't
know yeah it's amazing and so cool I didn't know that yeah so they're same
but I was thinking like well I mean I guess it's just the beginning because
it's just gonna be able to do an arm or a sleeve I guess other than that you
can't you can't get it on your back or your chest and you would have to look
like a big portal like we're getting a cat scan right how are you gonna get
your chest done or your back or something like that but it excuse me I guess
it's just the beginning I don't know I really haven't seen any videos online or
heard about it till the other day I was listening to the radio it's like that's
crazy huh and speaking of I know you're not on Instagram but I'm gonna send you
I started following this one tattoo guy I want to say he's in fucking Las Vegas
but his work is so fucking phenomenal wow he does like um like if like how I
guess not Robocop what the fuck is like how the Terminator would look he just
frame it's not verbatim right so just pretend it's the Terminator but he
tattooed it on this guy's body and when this guy moves his like he tattooed his
back right to make it look like a robot with a spine anytime he would move like
it looked like it's so it looks so fucking real and I don't know his name we
can talk about it I guess maybe next podcast but you will be blown away it's
just I can't believe how far tattoos have come since since Jerry sailor sailor
Jerry yeah wow you just like well I do still have some canvas left
but I'm too right all fuck yeah and I'm like I used to I mean I used to have a
high threshold when it came to pain and I was just like yeah I don't know not
anymore not for cat I'm just tired not for tattoos yeah right
oh wow oh so I'm before I forget because I've been trying to write my notes and
everything for the podcast but I was going to tell you I wanted to tell you
Friday after work but I said I better save it for the podcast I'm gonna ask
you there's this word and I thought it meant something different so you know
how we're trying to accept compliments when we let's talk about compliments
later or not later but remind me I have a compliment to give you art to give you
I guess and to tell you about to just remind me because I'll forget okay yeah
it'll probably like dovetail right after what I say so I have this young
assistant store manager and I would say I would guess he's 23 24 okay and so it
was laundry day or laundry it was gonna be a laundry weekend for me I didn't
have just my normal just jeans and put my vans on and just go to work gear I so I
was like and it was pretty cold so I just decided I wore like a turtleneck
little sweater some jeans and I decided to wear boots and kind of go over your
jeans oh yeah and of course I put on my Invicta watch of course yeah and I got
my hair done so my hair was actually still looking on fleek because I got it
done on Thursday and I woke up put a brush through it I was like yep wait did
did you go back to your normal color oh yeah oh you did okay I did I told her I
couldn't do the whole I'm not ready to embrace the gray like that like no no
thank you I'm like fuck this I pay over $400 like now hi gray I don't care if I
have to come in every four to six weeks like I'm switching it up that's what I
do babe I'm not going out like that yet so how does a co-worker of mine he's
like wow you look really good today he's all bougie what and I he said you're all
bougie yes and so I stopped and I said bougie and what is your definition of
bougie just what what do you think if somebody said oh look at all bougie
today you take like fancy and like I guess not well-kept but like yeah like
you're like what's the word I'm looking for I guess not fancy but like and not
well-kept but you make sure like you're on I guess on fleek I don't know what
the proper term is right but like it's kind of like on another level of kind of
like right novice like yeah I guess like better all your shit together I guess
it's Pomona bullets appreciation day I don't know when I get all my shit done
on the same day I'm like it's appreciation day yeah yeah I so I took it as
bougie like what the fuck I'm not bougie it just happened that I just got my
hair done and it's actually laundry day so I had to I was forced to wear clothes
because you dress fans I see what you're saying because you know okay so and then
what did what was your reply to that was being sarcastic or well that's what I so
immediately I thought bougie I'm not fucking bougie I'm thinking in my head
and I just looked at him I said bougie he's all relax he's all that's a
compliment I said no it's not that is not a compliment
well I guess I wouldn't know how to take that either so yeah and I bet older but
I'm like boo yeah no because bougie I guess for for our generation we were
like like like you're very high maintenance yeah that's how I are that's
that's the word is high I guess high maintenance is that or how would you
describe it yeah I thought it was well that's what I thought just somebody who's
high maintenance somebody who would never I don't know lives in a trailer park
but drinks their tea with their pinky finger up like
I'm doing that right now I mean and I do drink I drink my tea like that too only because my pinkies broke it
thanks Jay so I was just like I don't know I don't take it as a compliment he's
like no it is a compliment he's like so my girl he's all she's bougie I wouldn't
have it any other way she I was like all right kid and so it had me thinking
I'm like well fuck this whole time I'm thinking bougie I'm trying to use it as a
put down when I was like oh that bougie has bitch yeah fuck her I'm using it as
put down well I guess you're bougie so you can't say that anymore unless you're
putting yourself down yeah so I I immediately went to urban dictionary and
there's there's quite a bit of urban dictionary define bougie as they well
the first definition said it's people pretending to or think they are high
class but they are really not or they don't realize they aren't oh I guess I'm
bougie and I was like oh well then that's yeah that's Brooke Matusa doing her
thing I guess I'm bougie and I never knew it and I was like okay I don't know I
know I better spend when I don't like somebody I better stop calling them
bougie just like oh she's a snob
she's a snob she's bougie she's Megan the stallion right I don't know yeah okay so I
guess my compliment I think it's a compliment I think you would think it
is a compliment and I'm like you know what maybe it's just because I just my
thought process is the opposite of everybody's thought process yeah so
remember on Friday so on Friday but it was everybody who's listening on Friday
I worked six to two thirty Pomona Bullets works seven to four whatever
year you work seven to four on Friday yes okay so I don't know what time I
texted you I think it was like around seven thirty I'm like hey guess what TGIF
whatever my normal verbiage is and I'm like by the way I brought in my hot
peppermint tea with vodka and I'm fucking sitting nice and pretty at work
typing away and what does Pomona Bullets say? I have Tito's in my fucking cup too
and I'm gonna drink it on my lunch and I like fish that's what I'm talking about
right where I'm going and that's the first time I've done it for this job now
normally I do that I used to do it all the time when I worked in downtown LA
because I hated my fucking job but I hear it where I work at now I fucking love
my job and the meeting that I host got canceled because everybody was gone so
I'm like you know what I'm gonna walk in with fucking vodka today I don't give a
fuck so I talked to my boy from Long Beach he's like hey what's going on happy
Friday I'm like happy Friday I'm sitting at work you know like what I told you I'm
like I got my hot peppermint tea and vodka I'm trying to just take it chill
today and wait till 2 30 get my work done and like bounce out and he's like
Madissa I just need to let you know I fucking love the fuck out of you and
you are my spirit animal you know what I'll take that as a compliment I think
you would take that as a compliment I sure fucking would
you know what you should be drinking at work well you know what I'm not
operating a forklift I'm not driving a city vehicle I'm sitting at my desk and
I'm fucking like downloading pictures and looking at blueprints all day long so
guess what I'm gonna drink my vodka and chill the fuck out
yeah for sure and I love that see this is why we get along or I guess why we're
besties because you would accept that as a compliment to those are the
compliments I'm like you know what that's a compliment everybody else be like
no you're an alcoholic I'm like oh really I'm not yeah it's like an alcoholic
that pays its bills be responsible be damn spirit animal well yeah I would
tell you this compliment thank you that's what I thought and that's why you're
my fucking bitch yes clink clink clink clink okay really quick since you're a
homeowner um do you have your sprinklers are they automatic yes okay so I'm gonna
ask do you know what time they go off um I don't here's the funny part they've
never been on because it rained so much here okay well you know what by default
you're great then okay because it rained so much so perfect for you so here's
where I'm going with this I had an observation because I walked Fenway like
a 4 a.m. is the first time I walk or so because she has to go to the bathroom
hi I'm walking down the street and why do I have two neighbors that they're
automatically they're automatic sprinklers are going off at 4 a.m. which is
fine mm-hmm are they watering the grass no they're watering the fucking street
okay now did I knock on their door to tell them that it's watering the street
and not the fucking grass of course I did not people yeah fucking care I don't
own a house so maybe if you I'm just this is a PSA to homeowners if you have
automatic sprinklers maybe you should like check out what they're actually
watering because you're either wasting water or you're just washing the street
yeah for sure and you know what honestly when I had the house the Kingsley house
yes they I had automatic sprinklers and kids would actually turn the little
head so it would deliberately wet the street and the side when I would realize
that shit I was like you know I lived right across the street from the
elementary school like motherfuckers these motherfuckers like gosh dang it
brats how long did you live in that house for oh about 10 years wow okay I
still can't believe my brother told you not to listen to me I'm fucking stupid
and we ended up being best friends my brother knows absolutely zero about his
sister I mean you were a little bracing when I very first met you yeah and then
I was like yeah and then we just go along like two peas in a pod ever since
we karaokeed yeah yeah it was over you know what I was listening to and I
fuck I'm sure you love rage against the machine yes I listen to them like at
least three times a week so when I was listening to them I think it was on
Thursday Thursday I was listening to them when I was working out and I'm just
like this would be their entire fucking third entire discography would be great
if we for me and Pomona bullets to karaoke to you because all exact
Delaroca does is yell and rap into the fucking mic and that's what we're good
for yeah that's the only thing we're good for that's right bitch some of them that
the same the book
in the name of throw punchin in the name god damn I love you Pomona bullets
I love you right back okay tear okay clearly I'm fucking fucked up I'm lit
up so speaking of I know you're not on Instagram but guess what okay I'm not a
mimosa girl simply because champagne does not it doesn't sit well with me
there's too much sugar in or there's too much sugar in grapes or whatever and
just gives me the worst hangover no much no matter how much water I drink or
whatever I drink are you a mimosa girl I know if somebody offers me a free one
I'm like sure but I'm I would not just no okay no perfect I'm this that's why I
love you I'm the same way so where I'm going with this is in San Francisco in
the Bay Area they well I guess everywhere there's you know the bottomless
mimosas brunch on Saturday yeah yeah yeah so in the Bay Area there now are
there's certain restaurants that now have a $50 vomit fee for bottomless
mimosa drinkers because I guess they keep vomiting everywhere and I'm just
like well you know what maybe you should like I don't know drink tequila and
vodka crystal light for breakfast or on your brunch instead of fucking
bottomless mimosas how about that let's start there yeah I was just like you can
imagine having to fucking clean that shit up all the time you know what you
know what you're probably serving the cheapest of the cheap champagne well
of course it's fucking bottomless yeah people are just getting oh yeah no I
wouldn't want to clean up all that orange juice and no and oh my god now I'm
gonna be grossed out but yeah I'm like I had to let you know I was gonna send you
that the Instagram post just so you can laugh and I'm like no I'm gonna hold this
for Sunday oh geez well I guess I'm gonna kind of just this kind of goes hand
in hand with my rant but I'm just gonna say it yes so I don't hardly ever it's
it's rare that I'll do fast food if I need fast food for lunch if I don't have
food to eat for lunch at work I usually just okay whatever I'll just get my shot
of Tito's and drink it in my car that's my girl so but there's days where it's
just like oh my gosh I'm so hungry yes and so it occasionally I'll go to a
fast food place and there's like Carl's Jr. which I really hate they used to be
so good and now they went down the drain like 15 years ago I was just like oh yeah
it's just horrible even I mean taco smell geez every time I'm like you know
what a couple tacos sounds pretty good right now and then I get them and it's
just fucking gross and then it's like $13 I just wanted to fucking soft I
can't believe how much fast food costs now it's so ridiculous yeah just like are
you fucking kidding me like I don't know and but it's always my fault some like
that looks good that sounds good I'm fucking hungry and then I'm disappointed
so that's where my rant comes in because I went to Carl's Jr. and I thought to
myself you know what I haven't had a superstar or famous star whatever it's
called no famous star there you remember those yeah I was like I haven't had one in
a while and I remember them being not so bad and I'm just gonna order one so I
order one I say minus the catch up and minus the onions because I'm working and
I don't need onion breath right so I'm kind of excited they give me my burger I
go back to the parking lot of my work and I open up the burger I take a bite and
it tastes pretty good okay as I'm chewing I bite into something like what
the fuck is that and I pull out a little plastic clip like like from the
fuck from the bread like you know how your bread has that little colored clip
yeah yeah it was in my fucking burger and I had to put it out of my mouth I
was like what the fuck and I actually bit it so I broke it up I was like so I
spit all of it out oh no yeah oh no you and I'm glad you didn't crack your tooth
yeah I was like what the fuck is this and I was upset but was I so upset where
I was gonna drive back and say um I need a new burger because a I don't need a new
burger from your fucking sturdy shitty fucking store no you do not and I don't
care you can have my fucking five dollars and I'll just call it a loss like
but my round is I was so fucking hungry no no I'm sorry to hear that yeah I'm
sure you were pissed cuz and and then on top of that you waste your your lunch
time or the minutes I'm all about you when you waste my fucking time that's
when I fucking go off so I'm sure you were fucking I rate but okay so just
back to what I was saying when you're hungry and all this and that but this is
a thing I just took a step back and I started thinking maybe it's like what the
fuck Pomona bullets the other like maybe less than a fucking month ago I got
myself a Caesar salad from this little restaurant here in town and I was hungry
I even added the chicken and whatever I'm eating it and there's a fucking button
in it in the salad
this is like how big was the button it was a little button kind of look like a
button that would come off like your the wrist of like a button-up shirt you know
the little but okay yeah yeah there's a motherfucking button but thank god I didn't
eat that one I just saw I was like what is that like I thought I thought it was
pepper it was a black button okay I guess you're not supposed to eat out
anymore that's what I'm kind of that's why I'm going with this like I it's a
sign because first time shame on them second time shame on you yeah if I
mean it's a different location it's a different spot and a different restaurant
all together yeah and but there's nothing worse than finding a fucking hair
when you're eating something and you're like what the hell that was another
thing I bought pizza and I was trying to pull off they put way too much
sausage I don't like sausage on pizza but I got one of those combination
pizzas and I didn't tell them minus the fucking rabbit turds but
sausage is rabbit turds people yes they're fucking little rabbit turds I
hate them I don't I don't know so I was trying to pull off some sausage from my
slice of pizza and I get one to pull off and what happens a big fucking hair
that is just comes up with it and it just goes straight across my pizza
through the cheese lifting up everything look like a tripwire and I was just
this is why I so love you and that you want to be on or that we decided to do
the podcast together because you're so fucking hilarious
thank you tripwire there's a tripwire hair pizza that's like the fuck
hair or a puke no the hair it was wrong okay you know that would be a legit
fucking tripwire yeah okay sorry anyway proceed okay so no that's just that's
just it I just it seems like in the past three months I've had nothing but fails
when it comes to eating out okay yeah I guess if you want something done right
you got to do it yourself with me which means I got a fucking cook myself right
I'm like I was gonna eat takeout yesterday and then I asked him when I
was when I was that I went to Michaels to get to get some stuff professionally
framed and by the way getting professionally framed I guess custom
framed is really fucking expensive I know it is I thought they were fucking
joking okay so Baruch Medusa the evolution of Baruch Medusa anyways the
guy that I had that I met on my space and I haven't met him but I've talked to
him like since my space days he did all my tattoo looted kitten artwork hi so I
still talked to him he's a tattoo guy so I had him draw my Baruch Medusa thing
back in 2020 so I'm like I'm going through all my shit I'm like oh I still
haven't framed this I'm gonna go get it framed at fucking Michaels so I find a
fucking frame I'm like let's do this they're like it's not gonna sit well do
you want custom I'm like yeah sure let's do custom because you know I'm rock
star status now yeah fuck I have to be I have to be in my rockstar mode if I'm
gonna be actually a rockstar promoter bullets that's why he called you rock
star because we're about to be platinum bitch fuck yeah anyways so I'm like yeah
let's do fucking let's do the custom blah blah blah and I'm like I wanted
exactly like this frame but I guess whatever you're fucking telling me you
need to fucking do because it's not gonna sit in this fucking stock frame so
like yeah so they're like it's 279 I'm like $279 they're like yeah and I'm
like is there a discount because I had a coupon they have coupon QR codes all
over the place they're like yeah but that's not for custom but but I got you
the discount I got you 524 for the discount so I'm like $5.24
huh okay I'm like fuck it let's do it rockstar mode right yeah I look at the
receipt the custom for the thing that I want was originally 824 fucking dollars
they took $524 off and I'm like is this fucking for legit for real and they're
like yeah and I'm like well fuck it let's do it
I'm like I gotta be rockstar mode I'm manifesting this shit I'm like I need he
originally drew it or like painted it and then I was talking to his name is
Dwayne so I talked to him so I got it done yesterday so I talked to him Friday
night I'm like hey my book is coming out I'm officially Baroque Medusa my
government name is officially dead unless you're my fucking family that's
the only people and at work like I can't be my government name anymore fuck this
shit and he's like okay well cool I'm like are you still gonna paint me on
canvas the Baroque Medusa what you drew and he's like yeah what do you want you
want 16 by 20 I'm like yeah sure or he I didn't say yes sure but I'm like let me
get back to you I'm not sure yet I'll get you on the sizing or I'll get back to
you on the sizing and then when I he drew that the Baroque Medusa logo or
whatever he drew it on an 8 by 10 so I'm just like this thing is like I'm like I
don't give a fuck I'm rockstar bitch I'm like I'm like I need that on canvas so
when he sent it to me on canvas I didn't tell him the size yet but I'm like
what's Michael's gonna charge me to get this like professionally framed or like
mounted on a fucking on wood sticks yeah exactly it's okay so I thought I
would so professional framing is I guess because you said yes it's ridiculous so
apparently it's really ridiculous I thought they were giving me a ride for
my money or whatever oh no it's ridiculous it's fucking ridiculous and I
just even I was going to get G units graduation picture professionally framed
and her little tassel in like kind of just professionally framed and they're
like you're gonna want a box frame you're gonna want this you're gonna want
that I'm like oh yeah that looks nice they're like okay perfect and they're
like 600 you know what yeah but I still can't believe your kids are the total
opposite of like us so you know what you're doing you did a good fucking
job that's a compliment obviously yes man and by the way I forgot to ask do I
need to get her a flat iron or no no no okay cuz I haven't talked to her and I'm
like let me talk to Pomona bullets first because I will order one if I need to
know what she's good to go okay little shits now I told her not to tell you
this but I texted her I think it was on Tuesday or not texted her Wednesday
night cuz I know you're off on Thursday I'm like hey can you do me a big favor
don't tell your mom but you need a fucking caller or texture and tell her
that you love her and miss her she has empty nest syndrome and she would really
like to hear from you she's like auntie I am like I always text I don't know if
she if she's I'm assuming she's telling me the truth she's like I text her like
every net or like not every now and then but I we go back and forth on text I
don't I don't call her when I remember to call her I'm already falling asleep
because I'm so busy with homework and I'm just everything is like a lot of
pressure on her so I'm like well okay as long as you're texting your mom just
tell your texture mom tell her you love her and you miss her that's what I told
her so hopefully she did that this week I'm not gonna text me hi well maybe that
means I love you and I miss you
I guess I'm gonna start doing that to you now when I say hi you're like oh
Brooke Madusa is like hi on vodka at work all right so let me ask you this do
you use concealer I do sometimes but I do use the bare minerals which okay it
is like you put the concealer powder first and then like layers and then you
put your color and then you put the veil so it's just different types of
powders well you're better than me pomonables because I've never done that
and let me tell you after I did my photo shoot last Friday oh god the
fucking bags under my eyes I gotta fucking all time I'm like look I I'm
gonna be 50 and when I use foundation now it just sits on top of my face
it doesn't look right so I'm like because I've only ever used drugstore makeup so I
use L'Oreal and L'Oreal used to be good for me but it doesn't work for me
anymore I guess cuz I'm fucking old whatever so I go to Ulta and then I'm
like so they sit me up with or they set me up with the Clint there's a clinic
makeup artist there and she's always there I don't I think her name is Marlin
I want to say she was there yesterday I had to do a return anyways she's like oh
hon so I'm like I need concealer I'm sorry I need foundation but cuz I'm
fucking older I don't want it sitting on top of my face my face gets dry now it's
not oily so I don't like powder she's like okay so you need the tone the even
corrector whatever the foundation whatever the fuck right yeah and then
I'm like yeah these these bags under my eyes like whatever she's like oh hon you
need concealer I'm like oh I guess I do she does like the first concealer is
not like brightening it like it just like is like the skin tone she's like
do you like that I'm like no I still fucking have fucking bags under my eyes
or whatever the fuck it looks alright I guess dark circles whatever the fuck
it's called and so she she's like let me go up or she's like I'll go up to shades
or whatever the fuck so she puts this fucking concealer on my fucking bags girl
oh my god I'm like I'm buying that shit real quick I look awake so much better
I'm just like man I should have fucking been here before my photo shoot I just
can't believe night and day with the fucking concealer yeah yeah
well see I bought some concealer and they kind of look like a little lipstick
thing and it comes in that tube and I'm just like it looks really thick or
whatever she's like you have to blend it in and bring it down so yeah like
matches your skin I'm just like oh my god I look so much better yes it does
miracles and then they sold me this simple science protective skin cream
stuff that you put on and it kind of like I don't know I don't know what it
I'll do it I just do it yeah and everybody says you don't look you're
Asian like well I guess the fucking cream is working thank you bear minerals
yeah and when I go cheaper I get the ageless cover girl stuff and oh okay
yeah it has like some type of like cream within the foundation I guess you
would say and it was a little I don't know like ice cream or something but you
put it on little sponge and it your skin just absorbs that shit really yeah
ageless and I didn't want to buy it because it was cover girl ageless you
see Christy Brinkley and shit I was like damn bitch that bitch still looks good
yeah I was like well I guess I'm in your club now cuz like right while isn't
gonna work here this thank you this cover girl compact isn't gonna work so
speaking of Christy Brinkley now these you know how she was in National
Lampoon's vacation yes okay so last week why on Instagram chibi chase is 80
years old he turned 80 last week or the week before oh yeah right like
sparky griswold fucking 80 oh my god I'm just like god damn that I'm like oh I
guess that sounds right I'm gonna be 50 oh my god so fucking old yeah I fucking
loved him and all the National Lampoon oh yeah that's right that's what got me
started and you know there's I don't I don't know if you know that but there's
four so there's National Lampoon's vacation there's Chris's vacation there's
oh shit I'm sorry no so yeah Vegas right so it goes in order it's National
Lampoon's vacation when they go to Wally World yeah and then it's European
vacation I forgot about that one I fucking love that one and then it's
Chris's vacation and then it's Vegas vacation yeah I fucking Vegas but that
one got like I guess didn't get a like a lot of I don't know likes or I don't
know what the term is or I guess buzz but I I fucking love the Vegas vacation
because the fucking Wayne Newton the damn damn tour
and then when they're doing quinoa and the guy dies god damn and let's not
forget cousin Eddie sneezing all over the fucking face oh my god okay sorry I
need a breather yeah um yeah I guess I'm pretty much capped out I don't have
any um ranch well the ranch this week I guess I don't know do you have you said
you had a rant I didn't really want this week fast food and right but yeah I just
I've been trying to focus more on like being appreciative and what you have to
be happy about something I can rave about so let's rave about to our listener
that we got our first fan mail and even though people were like you guys fucking
suck you know what Sue you made our fucking day that email was long and
lengthy and we fucking loved it I just assumed it was spam mail because there
was a picture of a dick attack you know what let me scroll up to the I don't know
why my Google mail like like automatically went down to the fucking dick
pic but I was like what the fuck is going on that's why when I sent you that what I I forward you the email and I'm like when I texted you I'm
like there's a fucking egg or what the eggplant picture I'm yeah whatever the
the emoticum emojis I sent you but I'm like I swear to God it's a legit fucking
email I don't know why it showed up that dick pic but I was just like clearly
that's not a 10 that's a five I would point five
but if you're listening please look at your email Pomona bullets and I would
love to hear your response and hopefully you want to show up on our podcast
yes story is classic great um rant I don't really have any rant I guess I'm
trying well I guess I do have rance but it's the same I fucking hate people my
back hurts and that's probably because I'm not letting it heal I guess I have
your shoulder my shoulder is feeling better okay good which is nice but then
it's like now my calf is hurting
I pull a hamstring or something like I don't know doing yoga at that right
corn position but you know I do oh I do have a fucking rant um yes so when you
see an elderly person needing some sort of assistance whether it be an a little
lady who's trying to grab something from a shelf that she can't quite reach do
you just walk by or do you offer assistance um I would offer and remind
me when you're done with your part remind me to tell you about my brother
when he was growing up because it's the total opposite but anyways go ahead okay
so you would offer assistance right yeah okay so I'm going to the liquor store and
I park right in front of the liquor store and I see this elderly lady and
there's people sitting at the little tables in front of the Frozone the
frozen yogurt place and okay there's people just walking on the sidewalks
going to the grocery store this and that there's traffic people and this lady
she's like I said elderly she has her bag of groceries and she has two gallons
of milk and she keeps stopping she's like oh and she puts the gallons of milk
on the floor she's all she tries to pick them up and you see her shaking and
she's like oh and then I get out of my car and I said and people are just
looking at her and just walking past her and just looking at her I asked her I
said would you like some help with that she goes yes I just need to go to my
car it's the red truck which was legit for parking spaces next to me okay and
so I was like okay so I grabbed the two gallons of milk and she's like thank you
you're a savior you're an angel and she's like I didn't realize how heavy these
gallons of milk are and I go yeah they can get pretty heavy and she tries to
give me a dollar and take this for your for your time and your help and I'm
thinking to myself I'm just going to the fucking liquor store
hey that dollar is a scratcher yeah and she saw please take it hun and she goes
and let it help you buy whatever you're gonna buy in that liquor store I said okay
I took it but I felt bad so it's like I was really genuinely just trying to help
right I was just trying to help but then she would have been picked well obviously
I know from experience and I'm sure you do if you don't take that dollar they
get pissed off more they feel bad so and it's only a fucking dollar even though
it's probably not a lot yeah that is a lot of them but you know what I mean
yeah I just needed help so yeah anyways go ahead I'm sorry but I felt so bad for
taking the dollar but then I was like well I did help her out and everybody's
just walking past her men included it's like where's the shivering it's so sad
and then earlier that day after I got my hair done I decided to go and buy myself
a couple tall cans okay there's this guy in front of me looks like he just got
off work probably him and his buddies I don't know he's buying to like that
skull or Copenhagen tobacco that the guys oh yeah okay yeah he's buying that
and the gals like you got to redo your card it's not reading and so he's doing
his card again like it's not reading and it's taking forever I'm just like bitch
I just want my fucking boo exactly and then she opens up another register she's
like you can I'll get you over here and then he's like are you is it good now
she's like yeah you're good so he leaves he opened I see him opening up he puts a
big chunk of chew in his mouth and she goes looks at the little card reader
and she's all oh wait I'm so sorry hunn give me a second his card wasn't
approved so she runs out Jesus Christ and I was like oh god so she runs out
because it's a gas station slash little convenience store place right she runs
out to get him he comes back and she goes you need to try the card again so
she's all get hell no I don't got in my car I'm like you were to tell me it was
good I'm fucking over this shit yeah and she's like okay she saw you have
insufficient funds and he's like oh damn she's all and he's all really like I
just got paid yesterday and and she's all no it says insufficient funds I'm
sorry she'll give me back the chew he's all including what's in your mouth yeah
and he's all I already opened it and she's like it doesn't matter give it back
and he's like well hold on and so he's going in his pocket and he has like
three dollars and I guess the total of it was like five dollars and I'm just
standing waiting for her to ring up my two tall boys I can get the fuck out of
there and she's like nope just give it back and he's like okay so he gets back
to her right and I'm like don't do it don't do it Pomona bullets don't do it
and then you're like I'm gonna pay for this get out of my face yeah and I was
like you know I could just put it on my tab like exactly because you're wasting
my fucking time and then the guy's like oh no no no no please please don't I was
like you already opened it and I was like it's like five fucking dollars like
put it on my tab and he's like are you sure oh man god what are you gonna do
you have insufficient funds what are you gonna do like how are you gonna pay me
back just fucking go bitch yeah just go and then the ladies all you better take
her offer cuz I'm just gonna throw it in the trash anyways
he's like okay he's like thank you god bless oh yeah god bless yeah go chew away
you get gum disease alone go check your account
shit okay well I'm so glad you're a helpful person I was like trying to pay
it forward I'm like well you know maybe next time somebody's gonna help me out
that'll help you so my when you said elderly that reminded me my bro when my
brother was probably when we were in high school I want to say we were in high
school or possibly like just right out of high school so by my house there's a
lot of L I guess there was an elderly person crossing the street and my
brother at the time he had like he looked like a cholo with his long hair on
the top it would be I guess gelled back do you know I'm talking about yeah and
shaved on the sides so this lady because my brother's a gentleman even though he's
an asshole like me she's trying to get across the street I wasn't in the car
he's telling me the story and he's in his low rider fucking Mazda B 2200 fucking
red truck whatever the fuck it was and so she's trying to get the cross the
street he he's at the stop sign waiting for her but like there's it was kind of
busy I want to say so he gets out of his car and he helps her he's trying to help
her across the street this fucking old lady thinks because I guess he looks like
a cholo that he she I guess my brother was trying to rob her I just remember
my brother came home so fucking angry like he's fucking telling me this like
bitch I'm trying to help you across the street and I'm like that's the brother I
know hitting in with her yeah he thought that he was trying to fucking Jack she
thought that he was trying to fucking Jack her and he's like fucking I'm gonna
get back in my car and I'm just like you know what you can only do good for so
many fucking people fuck may she I hope she got ran over
she trips fuck man what the fuck he was so irate and I'm just like you know what
that's what happens when you judge a book by its cover I know and famous
words from my dad he's like if it looks like a duck and it walks like a quack
like a duck it's a fucking duck and I'm all stop it they're just Nike Cortez and
I just like my eyebrows I fucking love you I could never like Nike Cortez are
not comfortable I could never get into Nike Cortez they were just so not
comfortable to me but you know what God bless my daughter because she was on the
tennis team in high school and that's all she wore I guess she's trying to be
fashionable like these are the most and you're on the tennis court yeah I want
Nike Cortez I'm like the leather ones and I'm like okay those are really not
because they're super extra tight yeah she wanted she wanted the fucking Nike
Cortez and I'm like okay well I guess you are no she
excuse me fuck all right so I guess we are good for this week I think so yeah I
don't have trash or cash trash will be my fucking back and that I keep re-injuring
it because I won't let it heal I don't know yeah that sucks well at least you
bought a new heating pad right oh yeah and I'm sitting on it right now sipping
on vodka and tequila yes yeah that's right you have any trash or cash or I I
mean I have a couple but I was thinking I'm like I could do like a Halloween
theme I was just kind of doing different candies which one I'm not a big
candy person I used to be but not if you're gonna ask me candy corn that
shit I will like no I am not a that shit is fucking true it's not that candy
corn is below trash I don't even know what it is but you know it's even like
to see rolls are even oh my you know what I can't believe I used to eat both of
those things like you know what oh god oh now my stomach hurts yeah I'm like and
my teeth I'm like I can't believe I didn't break my teeth eating fucking tootsie
rolls yeah and I can't believe I ate those flavored tootsie rolls too but no yeah
strawberry blueberry the tootsie pops yeah yeah fuck man tootsie pops god those
are gross so I would have bloated oh I forgot about I can't believe I used to
eat those too you know no I do approve of I'm Jolly Ranchers those the sticks oh
yeah those are good and you know what I approve of those caramel apple lollipop
it's just like a sour apple and then it has I've never had that yeah those are
pretty good I mean I I won't go and buy a bag of them but if I'm rating right kids
Halloween basket like I see what I'm like yes or I take all their nerds oh I forgot
about you know what I like used to like was pop rocks oh yes but you know what I
was at the Dollar Tree here in town and they have a shit ton of assortment of
pop rocks huh I was like huh I should I forgot about oh man you're bringing back
so many memories of fucking candy and you know what I used to fucking love now
and later but I can't believe that that is just that's the equivalent of fucking
tootsie rolls yeah and remember these feet some of them would be really hard
you can yeah I can't believe I didn't break my teeth yeah I can't and then I'm
dip sticks oh yeah or fun dips the fun dip
fun day yeah I can't oh that's I can't believe I used to eat that it was a
chalk stick with fucking it wasn't even fucking I would have rather dip that in
fucking Kool-Aid fucking powder for even the pixie sticks oh that's right I
remember like all my friends would snort that thinking it's cocaine I'm like you
guys are gross I never did that I never sleep you know what my cousins
in fucking New Jersey growing up they would snort Tang and I'm like yeah it's
like we're pretending we're doing cocaine I'm like you know what growing up in
the Northeast when the winters would be like they would be having snow days I
don't know about Oregon but like growing up in the Northeast that's a whole
another fucking animal yeah damn they'd be snowed in for days growing up and I
was just like you're snorting Tang I just know no no oh gosh no snorting
Tang I just what the fuck
oh geez okay I guess we can end this thank you guys for hanging out with us
um yeah I guess we'll call it a day yes any parting words come on a bullets no
just let's go football Sunday football Sunday yes let's do that okay we will
see you guys next week alright hey hey bye