Clank, clank, drink, drink, bank, bank.
I'm Pomona Bullets, you are Pomona Bullets.
Oh, god damn it.
Okay, so I'm Baruch Medusa, you are Pomona Bullets.
This is Top Show.
Hi, Jinx, welcome to our podcast.
Welcome.
Oh.
Good day, Bestie.
What it do, Bestie?
Sunday week six of the NFL.
I know.
I've been watching some little highlights too.
I'm like, what?
Everybody has butter fingers this week.
Yeah, I'm watching Cleveland and I think it's the Seahawks.
Oh, yeah, it's Cleveland.
They just went back.
I'm sorry, not Cleveland.
Cincinnati, Ocho's team.
Oh, yeah, Ocho's team.
Browns and, oh yeah, Ocho, Bengals.
Yeah, I'm retarded this morning.
I know, but you know what really makes,
it sets me up is like their uniforms.
I'm just kind of like, where in the fuck?
Jesus.
Yeah, I'm just used to like, you know,
the Bengals wearing orange and then when they go white,
I get it when they're home and away and all that,
but I don't even think they do that anymore.
It's just like, they just switch it up.
Yeah, it seems like they have a different uniform
for every fucking week.
Yeah.
Well, they didn't run this by me.
Do you guys play?
Oh, you guys play Monday night.
Monday night.
Okay, we're playing at one o'clock.
We're hosting New England.
Yes.
So that should be a fucking easy win.
It better fucking be, but you know how that goes.
So I don't even know what the spread is,
but you know, we had Monday night football this past week.
I forgot who we fucking played.
We won.
Thank God.
Oh, yeah.
Mark, why was Mark Davis filmed, I guess, or on TMZ?
He was hitting the slot machines at the fucking McCarron
airport, picking up some hot chick before the game.
I don't know.
Honestly, she's a guitarist, but I don't remember her name,
but he picked her up and I'm like, well, at least he's not
at his usual spot, P.F. Chang's reading a newspaper.
I don't know the fucker with P.F. Chang's.
I don't know if you're aware, but Mark Davis, obviously,
now the owner of the, what's it called, the Raiders.
He, when they were in Oakland every day or maybe once a week,
I don't know what the severity was,
but he was always reading the times at P.F. Chang's.
That wasn't a place to hang out.
I actually don't fancy P.F. Chang's that much.
I mean, I think it's overrated.
What?
Overrated and it's overpriced for fucking Chinese food.
Let's go there.
For sure.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Shit.
Oh gosh.
So I talked to your daughter yesterday.
Oh, you did!
She fucking called me.
The unit called me and it's like nine, like,
she called me right o'clock, or right o'clock,
right on the dot at nine o'clock.
And she's like, Auntie, I didn't know if you were
already busy or sleeping or whatever,
but you said nine o'clock, so literally I'm calling you
at nine o'clock and I'm like, okay, well I'm glad I,
cause I didn't have my ring on,
but I had my music streaming to my Bluetooth,
or Bluetooth to my stereo, so the music wasn't playing.
So I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
I'm like, oh yeah, she's calling me.
What the fuck?
Yeah, so should we talk for a little bit?
She's doing good, blah, blah, blah.
And then she says, I'm gonna get ready to go
cause I wanna go watch the eclipse.
And I'm like, okay, have fun.
So I go back to cleaning Pomona bullets,
and like 10 minutes after I'm done cleaning,
I'm like, why is it fucking dark outside?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
What the fuck is going on?
And then I'm like, oh, fuck, it's the goddamn eclipse.
Pay attention, bitch.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Well, you know, I'm so glad that you can share with me
the health and the status of my daughter,
because I guess I'm not cool anymore.
I just, she doesn't give a shit about me.
Well, I told her, she's like, did my mom tell you
that I cut my hair?
I'm like, oh yeah, I got an earful.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Yeah, she's like my mom told me my hair would look better if I actually flat ironed it and I'm like well
That's your mom and she's like so I went I went around the dorms. Nobody has a flat iron
I'm like well send me your fucking shipping address
I will get one from Amazon and have it shipped to you so we can me and your mom can be happy about your hair
I told your mom to leave my goddaughter alone, but yeah, I will get you a fucking flat iron
This is the thing she has flat irons
I have a plethora of flat irons and a bunch of hair straightening tools because as you know if I don't
Yes, I got that Paula Mahler shit going on and
And so yeah, I spend time a lot of time straightening my fucking hair
Legit when I was in junior high high school
I used to put my hair on a fucking ironing board and and iron my fucking hair
It which it didn't really worry you so well
But yeah, it was just horrible. So I have a bunch and I gave them to G unit
I'm like hey, you know what I bought a new one here. You get out my old one. I even got her this
Brush that I saw gosh. I know don't judge me too harshly, but
You see
QVC I'm laying in bed
I love how you fucking just like shop non-stop on QVC. I do I
And that's when I fucking realize like I'm old
I'm old
Because there's Amazon
There's so many other options, but it's just some reason I don't I think my fucking smart TV knows that I do it
And
Sometimes I'm listening. Yeah, it's listening like my toaster and everything else in my house, but I
Rolled over trying to look for my remote because I was gonna call it a night. It was about 11 p.m. I
Couldn't find the remote and I get so pissed off when I cannot find my remote
I get so pissed and
I roll over I'm like, well then fuck it. It'll just be white noise for the rest of the night. I'm going to bed
I don't care. I get sleep standing up. I could sleep
There can be an earthquake. I could sleep
I can sleep standing up. I could sleep there can be an earthquake. I could sleep in a rock concert a live rock concert
I can sleep. I wish I could be like that
Yeah, people are just like you might be
Like mr. Bean and just have like that and what would that movie?
Rat Race
That movie was fucking great
Yeah, I was like and somebody told me
I just go to sleep
That's it. I just hear the word sleep and I can go to sleep
I can go to sleep if I have literally taken like
One minute naps at red lights
Well, um, when I went up there to visit you, I just couldn't believe how loud your fucking man was starring
I'm like, how the fuck did she not fuck? I would have fucking strangled him. Oh, yeah, I know
I'm telling you sleep with me. I can't sleep with that fucking shit like shut the fuck up bitch
No, there's been times where I get so mad because
He would tell me the the tv
You should be respectful and the tv should only be at at least eight
Talk about volume and I'm like, uh, talk about more like 28
So I don't hear your fucking ass. Yeah, you saw logs
You're so fucking
More than logs. Yeah are the one I was up there. I'm like, what the fuck?
Yeah, I know that's why you know alcohol
and
Just and my narcolepsy
Works
You know what? Yeah, okay, that makes sense and like really quick before we keep going on. Um, what are you drinking?
I am drinking jameson. I'm like I'm gonna hit this shit hard today. Um, I
I was working yesterday and doing a bunch of shit that
you know adulting and
I don't know what happened. I just I I used to have my liquor cabinet full and it's just it's it's done. It's gone
Gotta restock time to restock time to restock. So I grabbed it
Jameson biggest bottle I could find and of course my little town
Only has one little liquor store and
You know they open all late. Yeah
You told me you're like they don't open till 12. I'm like, I am never moving to Oregon. Yeah
I was I this it's times like this where I miss southern kelly where I'm just waiting for six fucking a.m
601 a.m.
A lot of you get some beer. Let's go. Yes. That's right. And then it's like, oh fuck. It's almost 2 a.m. A
Shet now I gotta wait a couple hours a few hours. It's only four fucking hours
I don't understand why they don't just have it run around the clock exactly
At least for a lotto. Yeah, so retarded
But at least it's just a small window and then you're ready to go and at least you could actually go to a fucking grocery store
And pick up what you need. You could go to Costco and pick up what you need
Oh gosh, organ, please
I this is I don't know if I would have fucking known this
Never
Fucking moved here
Fucking ridiculous
Well, okay, I'm drinking my boyfriend don julio 70. I've been on that fucking forever and then of course my chaser
Red chris or cherry crystal light with vodka
Oh, yummy
Did you polish off the bottle of uh, jen finally?
No, I'm still sitting here staring at me calling me a punk bitch. Oh, I'm not drinking it straight
It'll get I'll get there. You'll get there. Once it um, once it cools off
Like in the wintertime. I like to listen to frank Sinatra and pour me a double with a gin and then just yeah
Yeah, so maybe I'll do that. I just do you put like the swaps with it?
Oh, no, I mean, I would rather no, I'm not a swaps girl. That shit gives me the worst gas girl
Oh
Damn, yeah, no, I guess I'm gonna go back to drinking it straight even though I haven't been doing that
Well
The time has come the time is near
Shit
Oh, so I didn't realize you worked yesterday. I thought it was your saturday off. So that's why I'm just like
No, and and check this out and I'm kind of glad
That we made the conscious decision to not really talk so much during the week
So we can just let everybody in on
our little lives here. Yeah
um, so
I work every other saturday
right and
and I get this
My what I guess I don't know what the fuck to call him
I assistant store manager. I haven't I don't know whatever. So I guess it's like somebody higher than me
I guess so I gotta listen and
I'm like, who are you? Oh, shit. You're assistant store manager. Okay. Well, I'm just a minion. So I guess I I need to
Yes, sir. No, sir. Yeah. Okay. I please don't fire me. Can you fire me? I can't oh well then sure whatever you need
It's one of those people. I don't fucking know
All right, so he tells me that he's going on vacation for two
Three weeks
Yeah, and and I was like that's awesome because you know when the cats away the mice will play or whatever
But I didn't even know that I should have washed my language around this person. I didn't even I don't know
so
He's looking at me. He just kind of like swings his arms
And he's like we have a problem, but don't hate me
Oh
Is it all right? What's up? I go spit it out just fucking spit it out and get it over with
Yeah, just come on rip off the fucking bandaid. What is it?
This is something that I need to fucking stay over time for and fix or what what is this shit?
He's like, I'm gonna go to hawaii
And I know you work every other saturday to do payroll
I said, yeah, so do you need to cover for him?
Yeah, I think he goes. Um, you're the only other person
Then myself that knows how to do payroll
And I said, okay, so if you're gone for three weeks
That means you have to work three saturdays in a row
No, fuck. Yeah
That's what it fucking means. So that means six
days a motherfucking week
Oh, they're not I mean it might it might I I'm just like, oh
Okay, but check this shit out though
This organ has this law about overtime and then there's something called predict pay
and so
Yes
Okay, so and this is how it works
if you
ask
To stay
Over time like or over your shift you work eight nine to five
Okay, and you're just like, oh shit. I just want to finish filing this whatever paperwork
I need to stay 30 minutes over
Ask your manager and they say yeah, go ahead. You can stay
Okay, if you ask to stay you get overtime, but it's just your regular
Say you get 20 bucks an hour. It's just you get that
20 bucks time in a time it
You don't get shit. You just you just
act like oh, well you worked another
Half an hour. So you're gonna get
half of a regular
20 dollars an hour pay
um, huh if they tell you
To stay or you need to stay or can you come in?
Then on like a day off or something then you get predict and predict
Is your time and a half?
Um, okay
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, and but if they take hours away from you
Once it's on the schedule you get time and a half for those hours. They took away
So they why would they take them away?
Well, I don't I don't fucking know and it's ridiculous
Yeah, okay, whatever
Yeah, and I'm just like this is fucking retarded and I I don't even fucking understand like work is dangerous
Wow
Wow, and you know what I actually
Started to just say fuck this shit. I haven't even been at the company for three months
and um, it seems like you've been there for at least six
It seems like I've been there for fucking like six years because I'm just like, okay. Fuck all you fucking tarts. I'm just gonna
I'm doing this shit. I'm running. I'm the captain of this ship now and
This is how it's going to go down
and everybody just kind of like oh, yeah, okay and
I don't fucking know. I've been telling people shit. I don't know. I might get fired soon. I I don't know because I seriously doubt it
Uh, there people are like, whoa
My hours on my schedule and I was like, you know what you got to do and
I'm fucking pulling this out of my ass like I don't even fucking know. I'm talking in confidence
I'm telling them you got to email the higher ups and let and this name this name and this name your direct supervisor
This is that and she saw my direct supervisor just quit today and I said
My jaw was gonna drop because I do the terminations. I didn't fucking know this
I'm like holy fuck and fuck so we got nobody in lumber like
I
Freelumber big yeah fucking let's all build houses like I don't fucking know somebody come
I don't fucking know but hey, I'm just I I don't give a shit. I'm just I'm making
uh
Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna make you're making executive decisions
Yeah, but I'm also gonna make it a better place to work. Guess what there you go. There you go because
because my
theory and logic makes sense and everybody else's doesn't so I don't give a fuck I live in Pomona bullets world
And that's right bitch. That's it. That's just it and somebody please you can just you know, I feel like I'm gonna
I'm at a catholic school and a nun might come and slap my wrist with the fucking ruler, but
you're not gonna fire me so
And and I'm actually making very conscious and great decisions and I think you know, maybe I see you
There you go, bitch
Well, I just realized
Clank clank
I just realized that I would really need to I really need to be on don julio 70 like it just needs to be coursing through my veins
Get an iv
Yeah, and the iv or just like coursing through my veins like 24 7 and then I will just stay in my rock star mode because
I don't know about you, but I do a lot of not
Self-doubt self sabotage. Yes
Okay, well this morning I woke up and I just started fucking freaking out. So um
I'll do a promo for it
But my second book drops in 12 days and I started with the fucking self-doubt and I knew you were busy
So I hit up darts my you're my bestie. She's my bf ever. That's what we call each other bf ever
So I'm like bf ever. This is what's going on. I did the photo shoot for book number three on friday
12 days till book number two comes out
And I'm starting to freak out and I'm like I cannot do this self sabotage. She's like what the fuck
She's like get your shit together. This is not happening. No no more stop doing it
So I'm just like just gotta be like if I just had done Julio 70 coursing through my veins the entire time
I would never be self sabotaging myself to monobots
You know, I don't know what I don't know what the problem is. I don't know. I just
Gotta get out of my own head. There's something it has to be I have the same issues yet
I don't know
I love darts. I love you know what all your circle of friends that you allow in your life
I fucking hats off to you girl because that's what it takes you don't
Keep some little fucking rando around that just fucking says does this make me look fat and they're like no you look great
And you look like fucking shit. They're gonna be like
No
Take that shit off. Yeah
Yeah, I just I just needed a pep talk and I didn't want to hit you up or my boy
TV either because he's the one that wish um that I was talking to then we'll get into that later about dick pics, but um
Yeah
Well, I I mean, but I fuck okay, so you planted the seed last episode
Was it last episode or maybe an episode prior to the last episode where we were talking about we don't receive compliments well and
Oh, yeah
So yeah and this and that and it's like but we're fucking we're on fleek. We're fucking we're fucking awesome
Like so why I need to keep telling myself that but when somebody else compliments me, I'm just like
Okay, I just I gotta work on that too. So are you working on that? I've been working on that
But I was just like I really need to
Stop with the self sabotage. Yeah, I was I I have been working on that and the other day
so
This is where it gets crazy because the other day somebody says to me and I'm on a zoom meeting call and they say
Wow, you're looking great. I'm on a bullet. Have you been losing weight losing weight like one?
I don't even think I'm fat
Have I been losing weight are you so immediately?
My mind and my wheels start spinning and I'm thinking
So do I need to be one of those, you know anorexic diet coke cigarette fucking diet models like
Fucking weight a fucking buck ten soaking wet
Um, I don't know. I'm a pretty tall gal. Um
Yeah, I don't know but fuck what the fuck I'm like losing weight and the fucked up thing is
I was kind of feeling a little depressed
And I haven't been
Don't take it as bad. I I don't know it would be worse if she was saying I guess you're you're looking fuller
I don't know. Well, no, but nobody would say that they're just like, oh, you look good
But it's is that code for hey you look like shit
Oh
That's what I was thinking. I'm kind of like man
Yeah, don't think of it like that just
Whatever we need to
You know, I don't know but then I don't want to be one of those just like
I'm just like, oh well
We'll get into it a little bit later because I do have a cash and trash thing where it's kind of like
What what what do you think?
What should we do
Oh gosh
Yeah
Okay
Well, um, I was gonna say I want to talk about amazon but not it's gonna be my rant again
But I'm not talking about rants, but I know amazon prime day was this past week. Did you
Do I don't know. I'm just trying to make small talk now. Did you do anything?
Did you do any shopping for amazon prime day? I I did I did you what did you purchase pray tell me so
Usually I well monthly
I do the amazon I I get all the fucking needs
For my house. I'm talking about like trash bags, but the little ones for the bathroom trash cans
I I get just
Shit that I can get in bulk and I don't want to go to Costco. I don't whatever I just buy buy buy
My son was saying that he was out of
body wash
so
I bought
A 12 pack of this doves men's body wash and like that'll be cool and it was cheap
It legit was 50 off. Nice. So I was like, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I start getting all this shit
Okay, I don't even know why I fucking have prime
Because it's supposed to be delivered like within a day or two
Right, and then they just kept giving me these fucking emails saying
Yeah, no, yeah this shit and and it's just coming in all these fucking little shipments and oh
delayed and this and that and I get it it's prime day, but
Why the fuck am I paying prime?
fees
And I yeah, I don't know and then I have a fucking garage full of fucking cardboard because here in Oregon
I can't throw it in my
You don't have a recyclable trash can I guess or I do but there's so many fucking boxes
Where my beer can's gonna go you have to have everything shipped to you. Yeah
Yeah, and and all that stupid little you know when they
When they I just ordered lotion and they give me this box and I'm like, what the fuck did I
Order did I do a drunk fucking order because I I've done that plenty of times where I was just like, oh well
Ah, and I just hmm man, come on bullets
you're
You're a good one
And I'm looking I open up the fucking box. I'm like it's kind of light for being kind of big
And it's all these little bubble air fucking things. I fucking hate those things
And it's like oh, it's my lotion that I fucking ordered
Like why the fuck would you waste a big ass like who the fuck are you hiring like what is going on?
The jameson is coursing through your veins apparently, you know what?
You said amazon they started getting heated. So what what do you have to say about amazon?
I'm sorry. Well really quick before I go on to my amazon order. Um, do you break your boxes down?
I'm sure you do. I have to because I have to drive them to the damn fucking dump
Why don't you just take them to um your job and get disposal them there?
That's what I do when I run out of space at my in my trash because they give me big ass boxes
You know my jeep ain't that big?
I'm putting all these boxes like fucking cardboard. They're gonna catch me on camera
Did it fucking craig from friday get fired for shit like that? No, no, no, he stole the box
He stole the cardboard. I don't fucking know. I don't know
I don't know. Okay. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get your blood pressure up. Oh, it's okay
It's just gonna come down. It's all good. I'm gonna take a sip clean clean my bad clean clean
Okay, so I just did all my vitamins that are my supplements and then I got my shampoo that um, I'm sure you probably use high end
Shampoo since you have colored hair like I yes
Okay, so I I bought joyco. That's a go. I see. Oh, that's the only thing I use
um that I'll also double as my rant in a little bit but that and then I got a heating pad because my
Fenway's heating pad broke
So I gave her mine and then I had to get a new one because you know my back is finally on the men so
Thank god, but how's your shoulder because did you use a heating pad for your shoulder?
I did and I found it
actually fucking worked
I didn't set the house on the outside. No, it didn't spark when I plugged it in and shit
And I was like, I think I need to actually buy um an extension cord
because
It doesn't go to my fucking bed, but yeah, yeah my my shoulder is still I still can't
Really sock somebody or punch them in the throat like I would want to because it hurts but
But it's okay a little love tap. Yeah
I give love taps, but I I'm trying to aim
And get back to where I'm gonna fucking punch in the throat like now. I'm just like, oh, you know what?
Yeah, everybody. I'm like a fucking
I'm a rug right now. Everybody can just walk all over me because I I hurt I'm old
Do you do you have to go back for a follow-up with your doctor?
Uh, no, they just they gave me this stupid little fucking print out and it's all do these little exercises sun
Those things yeah, and I'm like fuck off like but I do I'm like, well, maybe I should I'm like
We're I dug in the trash and I grabbed them out and I'm like, what the fuck what do I do again?
Then I was like, you know, fuck this shit. Let me just youtube it always youtube everything and I just think yeah, well
somebody on youtube said to do it this way so
And I'm trying to do these suncots and I'm like fuck it felt good at first and then I'm like, oh
Shit, it's kind of like one of those things where you're like you wake up and you're like I'm gonna go
I'm gonna fucking run three miles and you haven't ran you haven't jogged you haven't walked and you just
Think you're gonna do it. Oh you mean like Kevin Hart?
Yeah, hard fucking did that shit. And I don't remember what NFL player he
What I don't know if you heard but like maybe three weeks ago
There was an NFL player that was running sprints or whatever and Kevin Hart was there
He's like, I'm gonna run it too and then he fucking pulls a muscle or whatever the fuck and I'm like, yeah, motherfucker
What the fuck? Yeah, cuz you're stupid
Yeah, cuz usually I'm like I'm good even when I go on a treadmill
I'm like, I'm gonna walk and then I pick up the pace for about, you know, 10 minutes
And then I like a power walk and then I'm like, I'm gonna jog
I pick up the pace a little bit and this is so old because I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go from like two
to six
To eight and then I'm like and then I'm gonna run and I'm gonna run. I'm gonna do three miles
And I fucking wake up and and my body just doesn't want to move
Well, I'm fucking yeah, at least you had an effective workout
Yeah, I guess and then and then after that I'm like, whoa
Okay, let's let's do this the stair climber and I do all that and I'm just like, yeah
I do too much and I I should know better
But you know, I'm I'm drunk
I have fucking like
I have vodka
In my second water bottles so they don't kick me out of the gym and shit and hey, there you go, bitch
Yeah, and I'm just like what the fuck I I mean at least I'm
When they talk about functioning alcoholics, that's that's me because I I'll still
I'll still work out and like I don't who needs water
I'll leave water after the fact
Yeah, and then and then in the middle of the night my fucking body just fucking wakes up and it's like ow
You're like time for more vodka. I need my muscle relaxer
muscle relaxer
Elixir, yeah, there you go
Yeah, fucking shit, but yeah my my my shoulder
It still fucking hurts, but you I I think I realized
I
Cold print of what is going on. I sleep on my fucking right side
And I don't know how you sleep. I don't I sleep on my left side
On my back or on my left side
I can't sleep on my back, but I'll sleep on my right and I do the whole
One leg up one leg down. That's like I guess I guess that might be do you put a pillow?
Um, so the one leg that's up. Do you put a pillow underneath it? Yes?
Okay, smart girl because I was gonna say that that would contribute. Okay, so with your um, because I learned the hard way
Um, when you're sleeping on your side regardless of side, you should have a pillow underneath the arm. That's like
um on top
Oh
Yeah, because um, I woke up a couple times um where my um like
My shoulder my neck was like really stiff for
For the arm that was on top because there's no support. So like if you're sleeping the entire night like that
Your muscle is just going to be contracted like that right because it's not
It's it's strained. It's not um being I guess supported with a pillow underneath
So it's doing more work. So you might want to try that
Oh gosh. Yeah, I and you know me and my pillows. I have I ranted about pillows on a previous episode
Yes, um, I I have one of the bamboo pillows you have I yeah
That's what I was doing and I just kind of I like to sleep on my right side
but it's the right shoulder that had to get popped back into place and
um
I I honestly and let's just break it down. It's I know it's alcohol too
Well, we're not denial about that, you know
Yeah, I'm just like oh well, you know, maybe if I just lighten up on the alcohol
But it helps me sleep and then it's just it it just kind of it's like a little band aid
Let's me sleep and then I'm just like right the fuck and then I'm right-handed
And it's my right shoulder and when I drive I drive like oh, I know chelos don't exist anymore
But I drive with the right with my right hand on the on 12 o'clock. Yeah, I know what you mean
Okay, well, you're gonna have to be ambidextrous and start driving with your left. I I'm crying but when it
It's fucking raining so bad here. I swear. I almost died the other day. Oh god
Almost died. I hear that it wasn't even me. It was these other fucking Oregonians and I don't fucking know
I don't know why these motherfuckers have their high beams on
and
it's
pouring rain and it's dark because I leave the
Fucking five in the morning to work. You leave at five. Yeah, I have been
Oh, I thought you left like it's six. I know I start work at six
But I don't I work like two miles away. So it's different than you. I know you got to drive
So I just figured you left like around six
I that's my that would that would be my normal routine is leave at six
I wake up at five and I leave at six. Okay. Um, but no this past week. I've been
Everybody's dropping like flies at work and they're
Telling me you come in early an hour early. I'm like, okay
Okay
Okay, well, hopefully you're getting that um actual overtime. Oh, yeah that that predict and I was
They know and then they're like you'll get predict. I'm like, all right
Well, then I'll fucking wake my fucking happy ass up because I'm not a morning person. I am
Yeah, we're the total opposite on that regards
I'm a but the funny thing is I can be a morning person
When I know I'm gonna do something exciting or something I want true or if alcohol is involved
Yeah, and even if I'm fucking hungover. I don't give a fuck. I'm like, am I going to disneyland today then fuck
Yeah, I'm waking up. I don't want to miss my flight or
Right, I hate disneyland. Just by the way, I was gonna say that was the wrong example
Okay, well like hey is am I going to my besties birthday in vegas like my flight is at that time?
Yeah, fuck. You know what?
You fucking I'll wake up at fucking three in the morning
bright eye
Bushy tailed I I but when it's like work, I'm like fuck this. No, no, I totally understand
Yeah, and that's like because I'm not a morning person, but I am
Oh shit. I don't want to uh, well, I'm kind of going into my notes, but
We'll just move on to the next because I was gonna say you
I'm a night owl. I don't know
I'm not yeah, I used to be a night owl not anymore. So because I guess I'm fucking old
But yeah, so I'm old too, but that's like my me time
It's like, oh, I see what you're saying. They and it's not night owl. Like I'm partying
Playing pool in my garage
Oh, no, no, you just like to be up late. I understood what you meant. Yeah
Well, just for our listeners like it was it was just that like I
I will lay in bed and I'm like what the fuck and I
My DVR on my TV. I'm recording. I'm like, I would like to see that show
I would like to see this show. I'd like to see that. I would like to so I have all this shit. This like
It's just piling up
Uh-huh
And I just see the little bar saying hey
You're recording all these and I was like, do I really want to watch big brother?
I have never watched an episode of that ever just so you're aware
I don't know either and I and I asked my son. I said, are you the one recording these because there's like
Like a whole season
He's all oh, yeah, so we can watch together. I was like, oh
But he's really good on his computer. So what's he fucking talking about? Yeah, and I was like that that that's cute
It's real cute. That's real cute
I'm gonna do that doesn't sound like it's cute. I was like and do I'm gonna and I had a big
Conversation with him and I said do you want to know the meaning of big brother?
Like seriously? Yeah. Well, you don't know why they call this show big brothers because everybody watch as them
Let's not do this
Let's just get this little I don't know. Let's get this show this little show off of our DVR
It's it's taking up space
right
We're not doing the the mass singer. We're not we're
Delete I haven't watched that either. Thank god. I guess no god don't
He had me watching the circle
I have never even heard of that. Oh
Shit, is it a reality show?
And I guess it kind of could be it's on netflix
Oh
Oh my gosh, and my but I'm the mom that's like
However, I can spend time with you and however you want to spend time with me. I'm willing to try well, that's good
He's like yeah the circle. Oh fuck my life like boom. I
Oh, my head hurts just even saying the fucking name. Um
but
Tell me why I got sucked in
Legit got sucked in
I'm like what so so and so and who and what and
And then we started talking like this. So it's basically what the fucking show is about and I'm gonna say in a nutshell
Is that they put like I'm just gonna say it
Don't it's not verbatim. It's not don't quote me
But okay, like let's just say 10 people in a hotel or apartment complex
And they don't know who is what and then you get to make a profile
Okay
And a profile and you can say you are who you are or you can be like a catfish per se
Okay, and then they the only communication you can have with the people in that
apartment complex is
Just
I guess, you know
Digital or not digital. What is it called? Like this look whatever facebook type shit. Okay social media. I guess. Yeah social media
and
They you they like you or they don't like you but you never know who's behind
the profile
Even though they're you're they live in your complex. Mm-hmm. And you're on a different floor
Okay, everybody's on a different floor in the circle
Oh, I don't I don't know but I was just like so are they trying to figure out who the profile is or what's
Yeah, so you because you have to vote just people are like, I think this person's sketchy
I don't think she's a grandma. I don't think she's a this. I don't think I don't think she's a model
No, that would be crazy and I'm just like I'm like wait a second this motherfucker over here
Is saying that he is like no and what is this what you guys do in real life?
like
Yeah, I'm not sure
um
I'm sure that's what they do in real life. I'm sure I'm 1000% sure because I was on match
And I'm so glad I'm fucking gonna be 50 and I'm not doing that shit. I can't imagine being your son's age like holy fuck man
I know I was just like dude. I was in his face the other day
And he was I was like military style like just
And he's wiping spit off his face while I'm just
drilling him
Okay corporal. Yeah, let's go
What we doing what we talking about next
Um, okay, so I told you I'm gonna bring this subject up. This is I guess my I don't know if you have a topic for today
But I have my main topic. Um, how do you feel about dick pics if they're like
Being sent on your phone and just dick pics in general. Do you are you for them or against them?
Let me take a sip
Uh, I heard that swag. Yeah
I'm actually
For them if it's like
My partner and you want to just be like, oh, but but then again, it kind of gets like irritating like get your
It's not all that great. Let's just stop but but I I I'm against them
I'm against them. I'm against them when I was on
match.com and all this these dating apps
And it was like boo. Yeah, look at it. Look at what you're gonna have it like fuck off like or don't just please please
So I I would say against them. I'm okay
Well, um to clarify then I have never been on a dating website. So, um, I guess I'm glad I'm not on a dating website
Because I wouldn't want those dick pics. I um, I'm actually for them if under two conditions
So I'm for Medusa is for dick pics under two conditions
The conditions being a you have a photogenic dick. Let's start there. So it has to look good
You know, great
The second one is um, you have to know how to take a fucking picture of your fucking dick
Don't get your hand out of there. And you know what?
So where I'm going with this, I was hanging out with my buddy on um, Friday, right? And um
He has an iPhone. I have an iPhone and we share files back and forth because we do a lot of work together creatively. How do you say it? Yeah
so
um
I couldn't figure out why I couldn't receive the shared files that he was or the shared albums whatever the fuck with iPhone
Yeah, so he's like
So he's like can I look at your phone because there's there's something wrong with your settings and then from there
So, right
Um, so right so um, he sets the settings and he's like, okay now. I'm gonna
He's like I shared my my album with you
So now um, we can collaborate back and forth and we don't have to like text each other
So I'm like, okay. Let me check cool. So he's our before he's before I check he gives me back my phone
And it's open to my fucking gallery and I'm like, oh shit. I'm like, well, hopefully you weren't checking out my gallery with all these dick pics
So let me stop you right there
Are you um, are they de-amming you these dick? No, no, it's a dick pic or there's dick pics of my guy, right?
Oh, right. So I was I was concerned and he's like
What and he's like, no, I didn't see no, I didn't see those and I'm like, okay, cool
So when I get home, so I so we confirmed that there's a shared there's shared
He shared his album with me that we were collaborating on right right so I don't check the album out
I get home Pomona bullets. Why is there two fucking albums and one of them is of his oven and his dick?
So I'm like, yo
Um, I don't know if you're aware. I don't know if you meant to share two um albums with me
He's like, what are you fucking talking about? I'm like, he's like I shared the album that we uh, we worked our the stuff
So I can send you the files and I'm like, yeah, well, I got that one, but I got um another album of your
send it to him to proof like a screenshot. He's like what?
and he's like
And he got all embarrassed and I'm just like I just want to let you know like you're my boy
Like it's all platonic, but you have a really good looking dick and you know how to fucking take pictures of your dick. So um
Who knows to you?
And he's like he's like I am so fucking embarrassed Medusa
But you know what? You're the only girl that has ever told me that you like that likes dick pics and I'm like, well
There's under two conditions. So you know, yeah, it's photogenic and if you know how to take a pic
So I'm like clearly you fucking win. So he's like, oh
Okay, he's like
I don't need this shit on my phone
My guy friends that listen to this podcast, which I know you don't but if you're a guy friend of mine
Please don't send me your dick pic. I don't want to see your fucking dick
Never do that and be like can I is does this look presentable to send like no
And I fucking hate it because there's always no no just you just don't because
I
Dude would send me fucking dick pics and it's like what?
pencil I
I'm how far
I've never like I said, I've never been on a I guess match.com or on dating website period
So how far in the conversation where you before they start sending dick pics like was that immediately?
Like at least two three days
Wow, and it's like do you think that that's gonna solidify this relationship? Like hey, this is what I got tell me yes or no
I don't know. I don't know because you know
and I'm telling the world
That I don't I'm not like internet savvy
And I don't I don't have any social media. I'm one of those weirdos out there
Everybody calls me a weirdo because I don't have it
So I I don't know but I don't know what's going on in the internet world
I I don't so when I went on these
dating apps
Oh my gosh these people and I'm like whoa all right
I'm like, I don't know what's going on. But
Like who's dick am I looking at and like no, I don't like that one and I'm like
They need to make a dating site
Or they you can just be like you shut up picture of your fucking dick and I can swipe left or right like nah
Nah, I'm sure there is a dating app. Oh gosh
I'm sure there is a dating app. Oh gosh
But then this all goes down to it also boils down to and we've had this conversation on another podcast
Just because you like to have sex doesn't mean you know how to fuck
Yeah, thank you have a good looking dick
I can tell like just from our conversation that um if you're gonna be good and bad or not
So um it goes both ways guys. Yeah, get your fuck game up to standards
Yeah, and stop. I mean and do on the other hand do
females then like
Who hot dicks like her pics. I'm sorry. Excuse me. I like to randos. I would hope not
I mean, I send them to my guy, but that's about it
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying like when it comes to me and like some of that I
Fucking met in person they know and I'm just like but I'm also skeptical because it's like
Well, I don't know if you're are you trying to blackmail me and again that kind of blows down to like
I don't accept compliments. I don't trust anybody
Okay, well, um, have you so this is how immature I am or just how I'm a 12 year old tomboy
Have you seen the movie super bad? I'm sure you have I love that movie. Yes. Okay. So remember how Jonah
Jonah Hill was always drawing dicks. Yes. Okay. So my thing is this
I like to I have like this one. I like to take a put
I like to take a picture of my pussy
And then just just my pussy and then um, like so for instance
I took I found a picture of the Eiffel Tower
And I cut that out and I I photoshopped that on top of my pussy
Because I'm just so like when vanilla gorilla like he sent me this one dick pic and I was just like oh
This is gonna be good. So I photoshop it on top of my pussy and he's like what the fuck and I'm like dude
Like I'm so immature. I don't know what to fucking tell you and all he replies is
I'm like, yeah, because you're stupid like me like we fucking love this shit like I live for being immature
So that's what I do. I do cutouts and photoshop of my pussy with like the Eiffel Tower or vanilla gorillas dick and just
Stupid bullshit. You make me want to like just learn a little bit more about how to do this
I was watching a commercial actually today about the google pixel eight or something
And I was like what you can change shit with pictures and all the photoshop and do all this
I was like, maybe I should just get like a
secondary phone
Learn how to do it and then just be like boom
Yeah, okay, so let me clarify. I don't you actually use adobe photoshop
There's a
There's an app on my phone that you can purchase or it's free
But if you want like the cutout or the stuff that I do you have to purchase it
I think it's like 30 dollars a year or whatever, which is fine, but um, it's called in shot app
So like there's so in shot app. Um, it has a feature called cutout
so like
I took a picture of the don julio. I'll send you the picture. It's not but you can't even tell it's like
And by the way the the pictures I think you were amazing
Oh, thank you. That's because I had don julio fucking coursing through my veins. Otherwise, I would never be able to
Are you really drinking it? Oh, yes. Oh sure. And then I had to spit some out because
um, the photographer took for fucking ever to take the shot and just he's like he's like
Oh, I didn't realize you were really drinking it. I'm like, fuck I had a I'm like and I spit it all over that fucking jacket
I was gonna return that jacket and I'm like, well, I guess I'm gonna keep this jacket now. It has
For the listeners
um
Medusa had a photo shoot
And she looked amazing amazing and she just sent me a couple that
She wasn't gonna use for whatever reasons
As far as because she had better ones better ones that I don't even know I was drunk
It was like I didn't have anything to eat because it was 10 a.m
Like we met at 10 a.m
At yeah, and I was just like all I had was coffee. I'm like if I start eating I'm gonna be all bloated in this fucking bikini
So I'm just like fuck it. So then I start drinking the tequila and I was just like let's go bitch every other word out of my
Mouth was bitch. Bitch, bitch
Um, what was it gonna say? I don't remember what I was gonna say
Oh, so what what spurred this on was originally was with the in-shop when I figured out how to do the cut out the cut out feature
Um, so I took a picture of my pussy and then I um, I took a picture of the don julio 70 bottle
And I did a cut out of that and I pasted it on my pussy. I
went to vanilla girl
Please uh, you know what I should send that to him. He was like you're fucking dumb. No, that's just for my wallpaper
I can send you like this bitch is so stupid. No, I I do some stupid shit too
So I'm the equivalent equivalent of jonahill drawing dicks on super bad is how I am with um when it comes to in shots
In shot apps cut out feature with my pussy and like whatever else I'm gonna throw in front of it
I can't love you. I am like so please love you because I don't even fucking have a facebook
I don't know but I I fucking
I would never post it online. I didn't post it online, but I was just like this is hilarious
I need to make a like a photography book of just my pussy with um cutouts in front of it
Girl, I was just fucking
Man shit. I'm like I don't know. I'm like is I I don't know I hear people say
Fat one
You do you have a fat fat pussy? I'm like do I have a fat pussy? I'm like, um
Does that mean camel toe?
When yeah, oh, you know what I always wonder that too because I'm pretty sure guys want a tight pussy
I'm like I would rather be fucking a tight pussy than a fat pussy
Yeah, or is it like just furry pussy or you know, it looks fat like I I don't I don't I don't know what
Do I have to be a fat girl to have a fat pussy? Like yeah, I never understood that either
I would just understand because I think like a guy. I don't know you think like a guy
Yeah, exactly. You would probably want to fuck a pussy that's tight and not loose and just like open and and yeah
And and and the hair doesn't fucking hurt
And and it's all trimmed like the playground is clean shaving please
playground is clean
Oh
So, um, I'm done with my topic all I know is I like dick pics but dick
There are two conditions your dick needs to be fucking photogenic and you need to know how to take a fucking picture
Yes, I don't like pulling it out like at the park or I'm kidding about pulling it out the park
Please don't pull it out the park. But you know, look know how to take a picture and when you do then
Your girl will be turned on and then there's some girls that just don't like that at all and that's cool
I guess and you're probably boring
but
That's probably because your man doesn't know how to take a picture too. So, uh
I
But but I do have to say I in in my realm
I hate when they're like waiting for you
It's like don't fuck off like stop it
I
Like don't don't don't do that
I don't I don't like it the and how old is the dick pic that they send when they say they're waiting?
Yeah, exactly. You fucking I don't know how many times exactly. Yeah
So, um, I don't I don't know but please
Refrain at least wait a month
I
Beyond like friendly conversing terms before you send it to me on match.com. Yeah, I got I have to fucking meet you first
And then you want to do a dick pic. Okay fine. I mean I and then I know what I'm dealing with and you know what? Um, so
Now I'm like
We need to do like a study on this like yeah
Well, I don't want to do a study because that means I would have to fucking do a match.com profile
But you know like I'll do it like okay. I think I can I can reactivate my knee
Right. So like 95 of the time if they're sending dick pics. Is that even a their dick?
so like if if
If guy a sends you that dick pic and you guys hook up and you're like, you know what? Hold on
Let me pull up the app pull your dick out right now. Let me see is this what is actually in your pants
Oh, look it's catfish. That's what I thought
Oh, of course because I watched catfish and I didn't know you can google search pictures. So I'm like, oh
Shit, yeah
I didn't even think about that. Yeah, let me put that little dick in the google search
They probably would have just picked it up off of the fucking google images. Yeah, but pick a
Pick a pretty dick because I've had pencil dicks
Sent to me
I've had like
I don't know
I
I am half Caucasian. So I just want to say that but I've had some white little yucky pink ones
Like I don't know
Oh god, you have me in tears right
I just like just you guys don't do this and I think
This is what I think honestly. I think that they are like from Nigeria and they're just trying to like, you know, I don't know
I'm sorry Nigeria. I'm just saying like there's a lot of scams going on
Well, you know that saying guys with a small dick is really just
Yeah, but
I don't know. Let me finish guys with a small dick is just a girl with a big quit or the opposite of way
A fat girl with a big quit is just really a dude with a small dick
Well these days probably but we're not gonna get
Yeah, I don't want to get crucified but you know, yeah
Yeah, yeah, and that's what they used to say back in the day
Oh my gosh. Well, you know, this is so I'm looking at my topic
It's like, oh fuck. I hear this. Well, I'm done with my main topic. So what's your topic then?
Let's segue into something that's on a better note. Yes, so my topic was
I just was thinking about homeless etiquette
And that's my topic because I understand that we are in a recession. Everybody's hurting everybody and you got to do what you got to do and it
That's fine and I'm not judging anybody but
Yeah, can just have a little bit of homeless etiquette and I'll give you an example. I go to work and the
Best Western which is right across the street from my work turned into a homeless shelter
Oh yeah, okay.
We're hurting and stuff and you know what I might my heart bleeds for you. I understand and I know hard times
This is all crazy. I get it and you got to do what you got to do and I'm with it
And if you have to like dig in a trash can for food that we people who are not in your situation waste
So you can eat I get that I get it
But can you please put the trash lid back on top and put the trash back in like I don't know
There has to be some type of homeless etiquette there has to be or I don't know I don't know that that was my topic
It was just kind of like you know it's weird because in Southern California there's the guy with the cardboard
Sign and he's telling me or not telling me selling everybody driving by
Hungry will work for food will work for food and I just bought a pizza and they gave me a bunch of paper plates and napkins and stuff and this is years ago whatever in Southern California and I felt so bad and I was like will work for food
And I was like here so I I'm at us red light and I put five slices of pizza and napkins and and I got some and I met the red light I handed to him and I rolled down my window like here and he's like thank you
And I was I I say God bless I don't really believe in God but I was like God bless um he throws the fucking pizza at my car when I leave what yeah okay well obviously he's mentally ill or a drug addict and he won't
Well and then it's kind of like you're you're fucking ruining it for the people that really need it and it really are in a situation like that right and also if you want to fucking dig in trash cans
Why do you have to just be like a fucking raccoon and shit like fucking where's your etiquette was like you're you're human where is your etiquette I just well that would also where's your etiquette also would be like where's your common sense and I guess that would go hand in hand so that's why
But I'm not I'm not saying that yes yes I'm not I'm not saying because like I've been down now yes I have and but if you have to come to the point where you have to dig in a trash can can you just please be nice and get what you need and put it back please
Yeah or because because guess who has to I have to do it right I was just like this is my topic and I know that it there's been a big fucking um thing where my sister was actually telling me that like the tank camps and everything and I feel horrible
I don't know what is going on or what actually happened but like on the freeway and I drive here in Oregon and there's like 10 camps and it's like I want to help like what how did you all just where did they did they kick you out or did you like what is going on I want to know
I don't but I don't know I don't know I just got moved they keep the city or the government just keep or the local government just keeps moving them around so that's why they end up where they end up at
Well my sister's like oh my gosh so bad here and she said that in Southern Kelly the street walkers I don't know if you've seen anything or whatever but they can they're they can actually be like really scanty I would
Oh yeah that um gruesome noose them that's what we call him the governor gruesome who is your governor now um what's his name noose them but what's his what's his first name the noose them guy okay you know I'm talking about noose them yes I know Nancy Pelosi's nephew
Yeah anyways we call him or I call him gruesome noose them yeah he signed into law that they can I don't know what the law is but the prostitution look I'm for prostitution just don't do it like the way they're doing it here like have it fucking like in Nevada where you have it at a fucking like
Brothel what's it called like at you know I made it look yeah at a brothel or whatever I'm like I'm I am for legalizing prostitution I am legalizing all fucking drugs I don't give a fuck tax the shit out of it put it back into the school system that'll never happen because we want to keep the people
dumb but um if you did it that way there would just everything would flourish better if we just legalized everything and then tax the shit out of it yeah don't get me started and then this I know so let me just so that's just gonna stir up so much anger with all this
goddamn fucking bullshit my other topic was we're just gonna be like let's just wipe the whiteboard clean and let's go on to next I was really thinking about you know when you when the when you're working and a company says
a two week notice like oh like when you want to quit but you know when you want to quit and yet they can fire you but they don't give you a two week no thank you very fucking much thank you already know where I'm going with this fuck it
oh this is my topic I know we're going a little bit long maybe no I don't yeah that's fine it doesn't matter but I was just like oh they want you to tell them I quit in two weeks and then they treat you like garbage for two weeks probably
exactly and then but but a company can fire you and not and not say hey I'm gonna fire you but guess what I'm giving you a two week notice you're gonna be working for two weeks and then I'm gonna fire you allowing that individual to look for work still come to work
so right paid like fuck that so I that was a big topic and I think it's because I'm in payroll now and I'm like seeing this shit like what the fuck like no like we should stop as individuals giving fucking companies a two week fuck you unless you really need to
and you're being polite and then maybe that will give you the opportunity to come back to the company should you need to I have a when you're done with that I have a total I have a story okay so I have a story on that so this is I totally agree with you on this right so my daughter where she's working at now she had a she was in Mexico two weeks ago for a she was part of a wedding party right so she was in a wedding party
right so she was a bridesmaid and she knew about the wedding or she knew about having to be are being in Mexico like for two months whatever the fuck right did she put her fucking request and when she found out the dates of course not she was gonna wait until a month out
so what happens the job says guess what nobody can take this week off if you do get if you do ask for it off then we're gonna fire you and she was like oh shit well obviously it's the week that she's fucking she has or not the week the weekend whatever the fuck that she has to be in Mexico
so she's like mom what am I supposed to do she's like I can like she's like I'm gonna tell my boss I can change the fucking like I think she was leaving on Thursday and she comes back on Monday she's like I will just leave on Friday get married or not not her get married but be in the wedding on Saturday and then fly back Saturday night I'm like
um no you're not gonna fucking do that it's a fucking job you tell them that you already bought the ticket now I obviously I told her I'm like you should have a already requested the time off don't wait a month out if you know the fucking date you fucking ask for it off just period
yep that's where she got screwed but so I told her I'm like you fucking tell him that you already have a plane ticket you're not changing it you work up until that date if they're gonna fucking fire you they fucking fire you it's a fucking job who cares you can find another fucking job calm the fuck down do not change your fucking
don't don't change your travel plans and pay to change your travel plans because that's what also the thing right right like okay so the fucking job of course because they're fucking corporate America the fucking job gave her the run around and then like finally I guess like within that week they said
um okay we'll let we'll allow it um that you can be off and so that was like and I want to say though so she was in Mexico two weeks ago so I think she asked in August or whenever they fucking told her so all the way up until then they've been giving her shit like the passive aggressive shit when it comes to like the
conference calls or any any meeting she had to attend it's just like oh yeah this and then Medusa's daughter that or what just very passive aggressive I'm like you know what fuck them and I'm like this is why I told then she's like I'm so glad you I didn't fucking change for them and then
the week before she goes to fucking Mexico she gets a job offer for a new job see and I'm like I'm like when they were being passive aggressive to her and fucking calling her out in front of everybody even though they weren't saying her name but like so and so and I'm just like dude everybody
knows that I'm the one who's taken off so you could just fucking say my name a and B I told her I was just like you better start looking for another job because you had a target on your back now and everybody's gonna fucking hate you and obviously your fucking boss does fuck him or fuck her I don't know
what's going on with that one because she's like I'm so glad I listened to you I'm like work door closes and a door. Good job. Good job.
If that was my mom or dad they probably would have told her to change her. I know. Right. So the boomer parents would have been like no you change the plans or and they would have like just been negative like you better not lose your job.
Exactly. So I was just like there will be another fucking time you never it's your friends fucking wedding you're a fucking made of honor do not fucking change your shit for that thing.
Yes. Oh my gosh. That's awesome. And you know what I just learned a little bit more about you today.
Well you know what she's like I don't know it's just after dealing with all this bullshitting. I just like life and generally you know how it is because we're older. Yeah.
You're going to look back and be like I should have been there for my friend because I was part of the her wedding party and I fucking skipped out for what two days just because I'm. I'm losing a fucking job. Fuck that. Fuck that.
And I'm in payroll and people are like hello they come to my office. They tell me why put it and I know the laws of Oregon. I'm like well when do you put it in because you have five days to be approved or rejected.
And they're like I put it in like 10 weeks ago. Well it's actually I there's nothing I really can do. I am just over the policy and I just hear everybody crying and I it's just like you need to talk to this is fucking bullshit like that.
I don't I don't I don't fucking know like but but yeah I don't know. Let the record show I saw that you submitted your request 10 minutes ago right before you walked into my door so shut up.
I'm like let me look you I can't even look at the request. This is this is so I just keep pouring them over. I'm like this is who you text. This is who you call. This is who you fucking like fuck this.
I don't fucking know what's going on. I used to just fucking tell you you're approved or not approved for a fucking house payment and now I'm in the fucking retail business and this is nuts but it sucks because you just look at these big corporations and shit and
I guess I'm one of those now that has to help them out or figure it out or or stop things like you can't do this you can't do that yeah okay whatever.
I fucking hate my life I just want to retire already but I can't come on a bullet iron fist. Yeah, I'm like this is my fuck shit.
I'm like fuck all you and I'm like all right you okay you go there you go there you go there we're going to cut the cake. We're you just walk into a room you fucking aim that way you aim that way we aim that way I'll throw like this.
Military but I guess I think you dad but again that's how my dad raised me and this is how I'm gonna fucking do it I don't give a fuck what place in life I'm at.
I retail yeah I've never been retail.
Lowe's I love you.
But I'm running the show now. Yeah but fuck this shit you guys didn't have any I had to clean lockers lockers lockers lockers.
Oh my god there was shit and lockers like actual human shit or you just say like yeah like no no no no no no no no there were like you need to do a locker audit and it's part of your job.
Your job to make sure there's nothing in there or what's the lock. No it's just we don't give you can have a locker whatever but I have new hires and I'm like well I think these are the only lockers and it's like the bottom.
Because you have maybe in there's just like oh that kind of sucks and the old ladies like well that's gonna have like yeah this is gonna I can suck. I don't know I mean I'm sorry so all we have available.
So I was like wait a second.
I'm gonna lockers for sale and I'll 12 so go buy one of those bitch.
No but it's a locker in the room. I know I'm kidding like go buy a locker and put it in the fucking break room lock it up bitch.
Fucking how about you just don't fuck this place but I have to fucking understand that this is the place to pay my bills.
So I'm like all right you know what I'm just gonna fucking I'm gonna take charge I'm gonna do it.
I cleaned out the lockers I fucking brand report it ask somebody higher up who how can I run report like who's here who's not right like what the fuck and I got that and I was like holy fuck man I have 205 lockers and how
How many did you free up.
About 108 holy shit. Yeah. Well you did your job you fucking need a raise.
I was just like that was Saturday that was yesterday and I was like I am fucking done.
I didn't have fucking alcohol you know what you need to put in those lockers is Jameson.
Yeah and I was like you know what I left though and when there was change like like pennies dimes nickels whatever American change.
I just I was like you know what fucking left out like you want.
There you go put that towards your life.
Throw away money. Right.
But whatevs but I'm not going to pick up penny so you can do it.
A new locker owner. Okay so do you want to move into rent. Yeah I was just gonna say let's segue into rent. Yeah so you can go you start with your rent first.
Okay so my rant is I know I rant on toilet paper and pillows a lot but I really want to rant on like is it over or under.
I am I guess it will be trash and cash to for me I am an over person I do not like under I will fucking change that shit to over real fucking quick bitch.
You know what I I I go to people's houses and they.
Oh you want to come for a barbecue or a party or whatever and I'm like what your shit is wrong.
That's exactly unless you have a cat I get it because you're. I didn't even think about oh I never thought about that.
That's probably why some people do it under and they just don't fucking care but I never thought about that.
Yeah but it should it always be.
Wait am I doing my rant because I was gonna run about that. No yeah.
But the over under is trash and cash or rant it get it doubles as both for me so.
Yeah so my rant today was that and I also want to rant about a booze brews.
Oh what you fell.
No I just wake up I'm like where the fuck this come from.
Oh okay got it.
I want to rant about that but I don't really want to rant about it.
It's just like you're mad because you can't figure out how you got bruised.
Yeah okay that happens to me all the fucking time and that happens to me sober and I'm just like I really don't remember how I did this and I wasn't drunk since last week weekend so.
It's only Wednesday where this bruise come from.
I'm not gonna lie.
Oh my god.
You know I really liked one person and I woke up and I just had like these little it looked like I was abducted by aliens.
And I was like what the fuck do I have like three little circle bruises on my right on my right forearm.
Are they big.
No they were.
I'm coming to the conclusion.
I was on top they fucking just held my fucking arms like I don't know.
So question so I remember growing up or at least I remember growing up now you're talking about three dots do you ever remember like the tattoo was like three dots like I want to say was.
Oh yeah.
What does that mean.
I think so because I had that.
And I on.
Yeah it's it's me.
I'm a Vita Loka is that what I saw that all the time growing up when I was in junior high and I'm just like what the fuck does that mean I never know.
I fucking I did that stupid shit and I was like I hope you people don't know that I'm like I'm with you but I'm like I'm Islander and white but.
I did that and I and my sister actually did that and she put it on the side of her.
I use to see it on hands hands like hands and like like instead of the tear it would be like the three dots.
Under yeah it was underneath the eye so I was just like I guess that's a gangster thing I don't know you know what I did.
I did one dot like tattoo wise.
I got on the left eye one dot on the right eye like but just kind of like not like oh it's there is it's like you put it like it looks like a birthmark.
And then I put one on my chin.
And I was like yeah that that because I have a crazy life is this.
I know but I'm not disrespecting anybody I get it.
I'm not disrespecting anybody either I was just I didn't know what that meant but I remember yeah yeah and growing up.
Yeah and my sister has it I have it on my I still fucking have that shit on my fucking wrist.
And you know my you and my arms are yeah yeah I try to cover it up with my little tattoo on the other like.
Because I don't want to get stuff in it I really didn't I had a crazy life but it's just not that crazy I don't I don't understand how crazy people want to say their lives are.
Because everybody has a crazy life and you know hey you're your mommy.
Oh to be young.
Yeah to be young.
Okay so let you let's let's go to.
Oh okay so let me do my rant.
Are you done with your aunt please.
Okay so my last week I ranted about Amazon being on Amazon or on the Amazon.
We doing a return with Amazon or saying my order was never delivered even though it said it was delivered.
Oh picture four minutes.
No so I was on the phone for 44 minutes right this week's rant again is Amazon.
So like I mentioned earlier so for the Amazon Prime Day I ordered the Joyco shampoo and conditioner and it's the big fucking bottles right so it's going to last me the entire year.
Normally they're $42 and 50 cents Prime Day was $30 I'm sweet let me buy the shit now I bought it with my fucking vitamins and my fucking heady pad.
So what does Amazon do Amazon puts everything in one single fucking box or the I don't know how they package it the shampoo bottles are actually in a plastic plastic bag or whatever and it's like it's it's closed.
But.
This film I yeah I open up my fucking box that has the two giant bottles of fucking shampoo like eight bottles of supplements that's going to last me for six months and my heating pad.
Why does it immediately smell like the shampoo and I'm just like.
Okay, I open it up the fucking shampoo bottle is one third missed like one third of it is like just all over my fucking shit.
No, yes, so what do I do I get on my Amazon app.
And I you fill out you say it's defective and you explain why and I'm just like, okay so it's one third missing.
What do they want me to do.
I have to.
So they give me a QR you know I'm talking about the QR code.
I have to drop this one third bottle off this one third missing of liquid shampoo missing.
I have to go back to UPS to drop it off at the UPS store because it's missing otherwise they're not going to credit me.
Of course they sent me a replacement and I will that's my second rant.
But the fact I'm like in my complaint or like for the delivery I actually I've never complained about a delivery.
This delivery I was just like why would you put everything in the same fucking box I'm like, fuck get your shit together right at least the conditioner didn't open up.
They they send me my replacement on Friday Friday shows up with my Amazon Prime socks because my socks are fucking really shitty I've had them for four years they were on sale the same, whatever the brand was, and then my shampoo so I watch the fucking we have the same driver for
like forever up here.
I watch her because I'm getting ready to open the door she actually puts the she puts the box like standing up.
So you know because it's a shampoo bottle so obviously she's paying attention this time.
Why did she put the box upside down though because I fucking open up the box and the shampoo bottle is upside down.
At least yeah so at least it didn't fucking bust open but I was just like I'm like why would you.
I was just so fucking angry when I'm like now I have to go to ups to drop off this fucking half or two thirds, whatever bottle that has shampoo I have to go there next week to drop it off just so I can get my credit.
I won't be charged twice.
That's it I'm not just like now I'm wasting my time when people waste my time that's when I fucking get pissed off so that's my fucking rant.
Yeah, I have so many more but we're going to go over.
I'm like fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you and they're like oh here's your fucking.
There's a thing because we're so accustomed to Amazon right right so I'm like where else can I fucking like like if I cancel Amazon working where can I get all my share in one place you fucking can't you like.
That's all just like God damn it.
But we can be bitches and they they depends I don't fucking know but I'm just mad that I have to drop the shit off at Amazon like the fucking Amazon chicks should have just picked it up like and then like taking taking it back I was just like I don't know understand why I have to drop it off at ups.
Yeah, and do you know what I'm in a small town they tell me you gotta go to the Dollar Tree.
The Dollar fucking tree.
Well just how like you bought your fucking Samsung fucking refrigerator and it's the thing breaks and they're like well you have to bring this you have to bring the refrigerator to us and I'm just like well I'm just never going to move to that remote of a place.
And I'm like how am I going to fucking do this call fucking you whole.
Am I actually going to get a fucking fridge because I if I bring you back mine are you going to give me a new one.
And what's the point of the warranty if you have to do that like you thought that's fucking just.
Oh, you're going to me to.
Alright trash and cash because everybody trash and cash.
You go first.
I'm going to say.
Okay, and it again doesn't matter.
You may not even know or not like or you might like both you might hate both right trash and cash.
Wet wipes or regular TP.
For I guess wiping my ass it would be toilet TP well TP and then finish off I have to use both TP and then finish off with the wet wipe.
Me too.
But if you're on a desert.
Come on.
Oh God wet wipes because that's multiple uses like that.
Yeah, yeah, so that oh yeah I'm sorry that's my cash money.
Okay, me too.
I'm so glad we're besties that right.
I go down my list or are you going to.
I only have to so I'll go we can go back and forth so um when it comes to like the car air fresheners like when you go to the minor really boring by the way, when you go to like the car wash to get your car done and they're like what's sent you want vanilla or cherry.
I'm going to say, crash for vanilla and God I hate I hate both.
I'm going to fucking just cash the fucking cherry.
I, I'm a little more like I want a little fruity vibe I guess I don't but I don't want a fruity vibe, but just for the cash and the trash.
Yeah.
That's okay, I don't know I'm a vanilla girl, I was cherry girl growing up and then whatever but I just like vanilla everything just like flavor and whatnot so like when I got my car wash last week they're like what I'm just like fucking vanilla.
They have way too many fucking sense to choose from.
Like, if you had three, just like make it three available don't want why do you have like 10 like who the fuck has 10.
And they're like, there's a new car sent. Yeah, don't care. Fucking new car sent. What the fuck is that supposed to smell like leather, because my new car doesn't have leather.
I don't fucking know that's crazy but we're just because we, we know, we know that this is just like hey, if you were like just what what we can hate it, we can love it.
So I'm thinking my next one is okay.
Trash or cash this is not a nest this night owl.
Early bird.
Um, you, I think you already know the answer this money for me is early bird and by early bird I mean like 3am so I guess that's still I guess like late night for you so I don't know.
Yeah, going to bed.
Okay, so I'm a 3am person so actually I'm a 2am person so I'm early morning I guess that's what qualifies as early morning I don't know and then trash for me would be late night.
I guess. I don't know.
You're you're you're the opposite we're opposite in that we're so opposite by with everybody in that regard though.
Well who really enjoys. I don't know. Okay, moving on.
Okay, okay, so I have this is lame I couldn't think of anything for trash.
I need to book like regular book or ebook.
Oh, you know what that's so silly because I was like I said I was cleaning out lockers and I was throwing away money just pennies and shit.
And I saw books. I'm gonna throw them away. I don't know why.
And I was a CS Lewis. Yeah, I was like, I haven't read this book.
No, I'm not throwing away knowledge or just whatever right whatever just books.
So, yeah, I am going to say real books is cash for me and trash is by.
Yeah, it doesn't matter. I'm just gonna if I have to do it trash for the ebooks and cash for the real books.
I'm like, I'll do both but I prefer be just because I'm on my phone and like we're on our phones and our computers all day long so when it comes to actually reading and join something I want it to be like an actual book.
Yeah, but but I'll read the ebook if it's available right. Oh, I mean, yeah, but ebooks. Yeah, exactly. But if that's if the paperbacks available and I want to keep it I guess I can read it again then of course are not paperback just like the hard copy.
Yeah, that so okay.
Okay, let's switch it up a little bit. Okay, hoodies everybody likes hoodies or not everybody likes hoodies. I'll take that back.
And when you wear a hoodie, would you zipper or a pullover. Oh, yeah, I'm not. I think we did this before. I say zipper. Well, I'm both but zipper just because I get hot all the time so that way I don't have to actually take I don't have to pull the, the pull over I wouldn't have to pull it off.
I mean, if it was a zipper one I can just unzip it and then like leave it on but with the pullover I have to take the entire thing off if I start heating up.
Yes, I like that but I guess it depends on what you're doing for work and what right. I don't know here in Oregon I'm like focus knowing but it's always cold up there so you probably want the pullover.
I can do that at Lowe's I want to represent Lowe's can I do one more.
I don't care if you have like a whole list go ahead.
Oh, well, I just want to say.
Okay, let's just go this way.
Okay.
Um, nobody wants this. I know you and I are both like we try to do the best that we can to be physically.
Like, on point.
Um, like day, whatever but if you had to have a partner, would it be a spare tire or a double chin?
Oh, God, damn. I think I would actually have to.
I'll just, I'll just go hang out with the monks and be neither. I don't know.
I'm just saying if if you had to choose who's cash and who's trash. I know we both don't like either but what if you had to just like okay I'll take you and not you.
I would kill myself.
I know.
I would kill myself as well.
But shit.
Would you rather or double chin so double spare tire or a double chin?
Oh, dear God, you're making my stomach sick. I don't know. That's really hard.
What the fuck. Okay, I will fucking take a spare tile.
Don't cash money.
But if you have a spare tire, you probably have a double chin as well though, right? So it would be the same person.
No, no, no, look at me.
You saw me.
I feel like I have a little bit of a little.
Well, that can be easily fixed. Yeah, exactly.
You better just start eating better and start eating more.
Too much into it.
Or just say that nasty fucking nasty when you.
Yeah, but I mean, if you had a gun to your head, it's like what would you want?
Like, who would you pick?
The spare tire guy or the double chin guy?
Which everyone that I could just have Don Julio 70 coursing through my veins so I can like deflect from the fact that I have a fucking nasty partner.
How about that?
I guess. Okay.
All right. That fucking rocks.
I don't fucking know because I don't have that problem.
I don't have that problem either.
But I'm just saying like, hey, what, what, what would it be?
An alcoholic like legit alcoholic like clink clink. Let's take a drink.
My last one.
Last. Okay.
Okay.
Do you.
Okay.
This is has nothing to do with.
Don't think too much into it.
I'm just saying.
Would you rather shave or wax your underarms?
Cash or trade.
I guess I've never waxed my underarms.
So I've only ever shaved them.
So cash is shaving and then waxing would be trash.
What about you?
I always shave as well.
But I'm going to, I'm going to trash the shave and I'm going to cash the wax because.
Yeah, I, it lasts longer.
I don't think about that.
But, but, you know, I'm poor.
Shit.
No, you're not.
That's all I got. I'm sorry.
All right guys. Well, thanks for hanging out with us.
It's been a long minute.
So we will let you go and remember if you're going to send a dick pic to your girl.
Two qualifications.
And you need to know how to take a fucking photo of your photogenic dick.
I agree.
Words, Pomona bullets.
I just love everybody who is actually listening to us.
And trust me, we see you.
We will.
We don't see you like legit.
Yeah, we hear you.
We feel your vibes.
Thank you.
Peace out. Bye.
Peace.
Son of a bitch, bitch.