Alright, are you happy or sad?
Which way?
Oh, I guess...
Oh, you're happy!
And you are?
Pomona bullets.
I guess I'm happy.
Oh, I'm always happy, bitch!
I am Baroque Medusa.
This is Top Shelf Hi-Jinks and we clink clinkin' bitches!
Good morning, ma'am!
Good morning, Medusa!
Happy week four, I guess, of the NFL?
Yeah, I know.
I guess who's...
I know!
You know, I was hoping you didn't bring it up.
If you go on Amazon, there's a poll and it said, who's gonna win today's game?
And 76% said Raiders as of last night.
No!
That's because it's all Southern Cali voting or Northern Cali.
No!
Raider, hater!
But we know we're both 1 and 2, so shit.
No, I think we're 2 and 1.
No fuck.
Well, I know we're 1 and 2.
Yeah.
Whatever.
I know.
So...
Shit.
I'm like fucking third place in the AFG.
Fuck that shit.
You know my boy Ocho Sinko got the Hall of Fame, I think it was last week.
Wow.
For Cleveland, right?
Yeah.
So, I love him.
He's good energy, whatever.
So, you know who Shannon Sharp is?
I know you know who.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, he gets on my nerves, but you know, he's no longer undisputed.
I think that's what it was called with the other guy.
Yeah, yeah.
That clown.
But anyways, he has a YouTube channel now and it's called Club Shay Shay, and he's got a whole bunch of episodes already.
I've only watched one, it's the one where with Ocho Sinko.
There's two with Ocho Sinko, but the one where he got inducted to the Hall of Fame, they go back and forth, and I thought it was hilarious.
So, I think, I'll send you the link.
Yeah, send me the link, okay?
Because I'm like, I figure you'd probably want to check that out.
Fuck yeah.
All right, before we get started, I guess, what are you drinking, Madame?
I am now on another little kinky aloha, which is vodka infused with pineapple.
Did you have that when I was up there?
Because I don't remember seeing that in your cabinet.
No, I did not.
Okay, that's what I thought.
It goes pretty smooth.
It's great with orange juice.
So, I don't know, I love it.
It's one of those drinks where you just fucking, it's like, what?
I just opened the bottle.
Like, I don't know.
I was like, I don't know.
I don't know.
So, what are you mixing with?
Orange juice again?
Yeah, orange juice.
Okay.
Got to get my bottom and see.
There you go.
Well, today's Raiders Chargers, it was also leg day, so I'm already on my Don
Julio 70 from a muscle relaxer slash blood pressure medication for the
one o'clock game.
Yeah.
I guess I'm going to actually watch the game.
I know I talk football all the time, but I don't talk a lot about football,
but ever since my friend Freddie, the one, I told you my friend committed
suicide, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, he's the one who, yeah, he's the one who did.
So, it's not the same.
So, I try to get into it and I can't, but now that I got to you, I guess we can
text back and forth.
I'll watch the game.
Yes.
At least the first half, I don't know about the second half.
We'll see, but the first half I'll watch and we can go back and forth.
Yeah.
Well, the second half is they hit the locker room and then whoever's down
comes back and hopefully kick some ass, but who knows?
I don't know.
And our Jimmy G is fucking broken.
I don't know what's wrong with him, but he's not starting.
There's another guy who's starting.
Well, I mean, we're on the same scope.
Our teams.
So, who knows?
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not gonna be like, oh, my family is all Raiders and.
Well, maybe you should join the fucking tribe.
Like excuse me.
At least you'd have two Super Bowl rings.
Shit.
You know, I'm just not going to be that, that bandwagon jumper.
I'm just going to just support my team.
Winners or losers.
Speaking about losers.
You know how we talk about you're wearing a black, you should wear a black bra or
a black bra with a white white beater.
Yes.
Okay.
Well, I was out and about, I think it was Thursday or Friday of this week.
And why was this?
Well, of course she was a Karen.
She was wearing white fucking tones with white running shorts running down the
street.
And I'm just like, of course it's a white chick.
I'm like any minority or half a minority like myself.
No, you're not supposed to wear white tones with white pants or white
shorts underneath.
No.
Caucasians.
Oh my gosh.
Full bread Caucasians.
Sounds like a Caucasian.
There you go.
Don't wear underwear period.
Yeah.
How about that?
Oh, fucking hopefully her challenge weren't dingy or the same color.
No, they were bright.
No, they were bright white.
So at least there weren't no, um, streaks.
Oh, shit.
Oh, I don't do white.
So I haven't talked to G unit.
I don't I only texted her a couple of times or that last week.
So have you heard I'm sure you heard from her since, um,
this little gal actually showed up.
Home.
To the home front.
Yeah.
On Friday.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
I didn't know.
She still has the key to my house and I keep telling her,
I'm going to change the locks.
You're such a dick.
I know.
I'm like, boom, and you'll face, see if this key works.
Check them to the mat.
If you want to text me.
Um, but she came over.
She wanted to see her dog.
Oh, and it was super cool because, um,
she was like, she was super bored here because I was at work
and my son is at school and so nobody's here.
It's just the dog.
And I was able to have her and dog time.
Yeah.
She picked up dog poop in the backyard.
I'm like,
fucking solid and she vacuumed the house for me.
Yes.
God damn.
You got her trained.
Well, I know.
She's like, and I did your dishes.
Of course, this is why I miss you so much.
My mates gone.
Oh my God.
I fucking love her.
But she did request a spaghetti dinner.
So.
Oh, okay.
I was going to.
So did she spend the night or she just went for the day?
She just went for the day.
I hung out with her dog.
Did Janey have separation or anxiety issues?
Once she left.
Oh fuck.
Yeah.
Now she's back to fucking ground zero.
This dog is like now like grinding her teeth.
Yeah.
At night and whimpering and she just sits by.
G units bedroom door, which I keep closed now.
And she just whimpers.
And I fucking knew it.
This dog was almost over.
Now you really need to change the locks.
Yeah.
I'm like,
fuck the shit.
No.
It's going to have to be.
She's going to have to pay a key fee.
There you go.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, good.
I'm glad she came home.
Yeah.
And then she's like, don't worry.
I'll be home again for Thanksgiving.
Of course.
So she only wants to come home to eat.
And.
Okay.
So is the food getting better at the dorms or.
She says it's not going to be a good thing.
She likes the breakfast.
Okay.
Like, all right.
I don't know.
Yeah.
But for Thanksgiving, yeah,
she's going to come home.
Which she should because I fucking.
I need Thanksgiving.
I, you know what?
I'm one of those.
I eat my feelings.
Well, I'm tired of Turkey.
So you know what?
I'm going to go to the gym.
I'm going to go to the gym and I'm going to go on vacation.
Well, you know what?
I'm tired of Turkey.
So you know what?
I'm like, I want to fly to Vegas.
Does anybody want to go to Vegas?
I'm going to a girl.
That's part of my raves.
For this episode.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
We might just go to fucking Vegas for Thanksgiving.
The whole family.
Fuck.
Oh,
I was just going to say,
and he can just like stay by himself but girl he could stay by himself well he can't stay by himself now
but i mean now that um your daughter's like of age and everything like they could stay home together
we can go on a quick break girl i go on vacation all the time like this guy needs to just he he knows
how to cook mac and cheese and cup of noodle like he'll live um it's and i plus he has a sister so
yeah and my yeah i mean homegirl could actually check on my kid if i needed but no he'll be fine
he'll be fine i've i've left for two day extravaganza vacations before and he he's he's alive house is
still here when the burn down there you go i'll send him some pizza i'll doordash that shit yeah
doordash all day long sorry i'm already on my crystal my red drink crystal light and vodka so
if that ice is in your ear i'm sorry no clink clink i'm hungry and speaking of hungry i found out
this week pomonabullets that grass grass fed cows is um i guess a notion it's not fully true even though
it is well so like they shove the grass in their stomachs type well it's like when they're first i
guess i don't want to say when they're first born but the first inception is their grass fed and then
their transition to whatever the fuck they normally get transitioned to um so it's all a
fucking lie is where i'm going with the usda of course it is i was so heartbroken i was just like
oh well i'm gonna still keep buying grass fed beef but yeah i saw it in my head it's totally grass
fed for its entire life but clearly it's not it was like you yeah yeah i don't know i i saw a video
on youtube and they had like these little oh it was really sad actually i'm not a big old pita
type person i'll wear a fur coat and whatnot but um and i love i like a steak here and there you know
you know um i was watching this video and they had the cow had these little like circles they legit
and they would put grass into their stomach insert it yes what yes and there's like these little
like there's these holes and what's the reasoning behind that because they're grass fed supposedly
but they're they're they're in a stall they're not roaming it's not free range they're just
fucking dumping grass into their fucking stomach and i eat what is it the cows have i know i don't
know x amount of stomachs i think they have a few i i oh yeah just so it comes out in their
fucking poop i guess i don't know but they're dumping like just putting hand loads of fucking
grass in their damn stomach and it's a little window and poor i don't know oh that just breaks my
heart now but i need protein i can't get protein from fucking vegetables i don't care what the
fuck pita says you need to eat fucking meat people you know there's there's a here in um organ
and there's this farm where it's a free range like chicken or what what not the meat and they have
this cool little process where they put this like cage so it's a big cage i i don't know i
my dimensions are bad but i would say at least by like six feet by eight feet it's this little
cage and they put the chickens under this cage and they pack at the dirt or whatever and then they
just keep moving the cage so they can just keep getting more and more and then you know that makes
sense so they can keep getting the grain or the nutrients whatever they're getting from the ground
i guess yeah right and then you know i'm like yes please i will buy one of those chickens i'll buy
a chicken little when he's ready to go um i just i don't know i guess i get my protein a little bit
more from chicken same um chicken breasts and fucking eggs all day long i fucking love eggs gosh do
you get the the free range chicken eggs have you seen the difference i try to but yes like when you
buy the or even just the organic or the grass fed the yolk is so much orange or i love it yeah yeah it's
so delicious right it's it like it hits your stomach different it keeps you fuller yeah
it's freaking crazy i did i need to buy some chickens yeah you know what my dad was gonna do
that um like maybe 10 years ago but then like you know in the summer here it gets so fucking hot at
least in the 626 so it didn't work i'm glad he didn't because then you would have to get an air
conditioner for the coop yes all the coyotes that are up here and the fucking mountain lion mountain
lions and bears i don't know if bears would eat fucking chickens but i know the mountain lions in
the um the coyotes we got coyotes all the time up here but um they would need to be air
they would need to have an air conditioned coop there's no way they would have been able to survive
this fucking heat up here in the summertime shit man if i had like three fucking chickens that's all you need for
fucking eggs all day you don't eat a whole lot yeah because they they're spitting out eggs all the
fucking time right i don't need no rooster or nothing just give me some chickens i don't know
i learned a lot about chickens yeah i don't need a cock
not in the backyard at least not to wake me up at fucking four in the morning that too
go onians and um one gal that I met she has over 200 chickens and they're all what the fuck i know but she
have a farm pretty much i mean they have land so she just has all these chickens and she would
constantly bring eggs to work she's like free eggs and like fuck yeah so i would yeah i would
about if you put the eggs in a like a
I guess you would say like a pot of water or something you just something big
enough so they can immerse in the water if they start aiming towards the top
if they start floating yeah or just even aiming towards the top if they don't
sink and they start moving up towards the top of the the rim of the water then
they're bad oh shit okay well although well I guess because they were already
washed like because I hard boiled all my eggs it's just because I hate my mom's
fucking kitchen but um I just hard boiled eggs and then I just fucking eat
them all week long but they've always like sank to the bottom so that's a
good thing to know yeah and also if you do hard boil your eggs and if it's hard
to take the shell off like just how toss that shit in the trash it's back oh okay
good to know because what it's just a bad egg yep yeah and so what's a bad egg
then did she explain what a bad egg it's kind of like expired milk you just are
I mean they just kind of been in around and yeah huh okay yeah okay good to know
now it's like oh shit I guess you learn something every day because there's like
times where like the shell like you said is hard to come off yeah and then I was
just like oh I guess I didn't cook it long enough no or maybe I overcooked it
is what I was thinking one of the two no that means that in the trash put in the
trash good to know okay all right I know we talked about this before but I was
talking to another friend of mine and why are compliments so hard to accept or
genuine like you like if somebody tells you like hey come on the bullets you look
good today just for instance right yeah well you do look good but you're you're
just like okay thanks but I know you're joking or you know you you don't take it
at face value like I don't know I had the same conversation with another friend
last night when I was talking to him on the phone and he's just like why is it
so hard and then I'm like you know what I thought it was just me because I'm a
girl but you're a guy and you're saying the same fucking thing you know with me
it's when I get a compliment and don't get me wrong I I'm brushing my teeth in
the morning washing my face doing my thing and I talked to myself in the
mirror I'm like you're a hot ass bitch you know I started doing that too I had
never did that before and I started doing that like two weeks ago and I'm like I
like doing that yeah I believe myself even though I think I'm lying to myself
but I'm still like you are fucking hot you got this today you fucking own it
and I I don't say it out loud but it's in my head and I'm just like yep that's
right I'm fucking hot but if someone says hey cute boots or something like
that right for some fucking reason I'm thinking they're just doing that
compliment like it's a false compliment I think they really think like yeah
cute boots or something I don't know it's just no you're the same way so it's
just like or nice watch like yeah I just need it speaking of watches let me
segue or let's I bet or I guess let's go off topic really quick did you check
the website or the I fucking did I think Christmas is coming early for us right
like I want five watches from Moco and I'm like I have never heard of this
watch brand before and I'm like let me send this to Pomona bullets cuz I'm
like damn I want all these fucking watches they are fucking stellar but I
didn't I didn't under the are they waterproof though I don't know I have
part you're the one who wants to die with your watch on I do in water I do if
somebody pushes my ass in a lake a river a pool I want to be able to at least
come up and be like what time is it how long was I how long was I fucking
floating before the rescue team came like I want my watch to work oh yeah I
want for like I put four on my my list and maybe during the Amazon Prime days
coming up it'll go yeah place for Black Friday it'll go on or whatever that
Cyber Monday one of those days it'll go on sale so I'm like I'm gonna wait yeah
let's wait till October 10th to what is it the 11th somewhere yeah 11 and 10 to
12 or some shit like that yeah yeah fucking when I buy all my vitamins to my
supplement shut okay I'm sorry how do we get back or we got to go back to where
you're talking about watches or somebody were to compliment you on your watch
oh well I'm just saying when they're like nice watch but you know the watch
that I'm wearing now because it's football season it's my Chargers watch
and yeah it's nice but I don't know when I don't even accept that compliment nice
watch I'm like yeah what fucking team are you like right I don't know I just I
don't readily accept it and it's that's bad it is because I get in my car and
like maybe they were really nice or they say I really like that lipstick color and
I'm like shut up like I don't know I don't know why I'm just like off I told
my boy TV I was like you know what it's like I think it was the way we were
raised yeah if you I don't know I don't know that could be a part of it yeah I
don't know and people are like hey you good job you did you did a good job you
have a nice house your kids are well behaved I'm like shut the fuck up like I
don't even know I outside I project this thank you but inside I'm like no I
say it even on the outside I'll be like are you joking or are you being for real
because I'm thinking you're not for real I think you're joking that's how I am
but the but on the flip side it's when I see somebody who's rocking a bitchin
ass watch or a nice hat all the compliments in the world and you
genuinely mean it yeah people genuinely compliment you or they compliment me and
then I'm just like you're a fucking liar we I don't know maybe it's like you
said maybe it's just the generation we grew up in or our surroundings I don't
know but it's like you always have to be on your toes and it's just like what do
you want from me fuck man I was just like I feel like they want something yeah
it's like okay thank you what do you want no I don't have $5 like no I know I
can't give you a ride no I can't watch your kids no no I don't know it sucks
because I think we're gipping ourselves when people are genuinely giving us a
compliment exactly and then that's what stops us from getting to the next level
in life yeah where I where I'm going with this because that's what I told TV I'm
like you know what we would just start accepting fucking hate the lamster on the
fucking screen it's 20 oh by the way I'm watching it fucking hate it okay yeah
yeah I guess what's that blue and goddamn yellow yes I get out of here you
fucking knocking off the chargers fucking like what the fuck I hate their
fucking new goddamn yeah fucking hate them same okay but anyhow I'm all you
bastards anyways but yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna like let's both this week work
on I guess if people are to compliment us hopefully they will well I actually
accept them for at face value yeah and I think I kind of ruined it because now
people stop complimenting me or they don't want to say I'm like yeah bitch
whatever fuck you yeah no but if somebody wants to I guess have the the balls
to compliment me I don't know maybe I don't know do I have that like shit
stink face or that bitch that resting bitch face where I'm just like I love
resting bitch face keep them on their toes bitch yeah just like fuck it you
don't know how stupid I am because I'm not talking to you so right or you don't
know how smart I am because I'm not talking to you I'm not taking your false
compliments but yeah I really think on giving more compliments and receiving
them yes I know I give me and you give it compliments all can't even talk right
now all week long to each other I you know when we text or whatever and I know
you mean it you know I mean it but just like when other people do it I just need
to accept it yeah yeah that bitch yeah that's right keep talking yeah we're
like yeah did you see my shoes and did you see my earrings I mean I work
really hard on the eye creams and everything I mean if people want to say
you don't look your age I'm all shut up but yeah you know I look in the mirror
I'm like you know that person was right I should have said thank you I agree I
agree yeah we have to yeah yeah life's too short you gotta we gotta take the
good when it comes except it you know what you're right and speaking of the
good like you said when you texted me earlier this morning you're like I bought
my tickets already for the Powerball I can't believe it's gonna be one billion
dollars like the second time it's been one billion dollars for the year I know
and I'm picking up my tickets tomorrow I don't even need the billion you give me
500,000 can I just get three numbers or like four I don't get after after taxes
after taxes and after lawyer fees you already know the deal I have the taxes
it's all good if it's like one year of fucking work for me I'm good right or
just to pay your entire house off yeah yeah let's just do that I'll just be
debt-free and then the car breaks down or the house goes up in flames okay so
speaking of cars because you know I fucking have the 2023 Kia you have the
Jeep Cherokee yeah mm-hmm as a 2020 I've never had like that rear view camera
until now in my car so like when I go in reverse I 90% of the time I still don't
use that like it'll pop up on my screen and I'm just like oh I forgot you're
there because I'm looking behind me or I'm looking in my rear view mirror yeah
fucking back up do you do the same thing because you're like me or you're used to
it now no cuz my previous car prior to the Jeep my Chevy it had that too and I
was oh but I was still I still do that hug the passenger side little head
rest and I check all my mirrors and I back up slowly and I honk twice like I'm
backing up like a military style shit and I'm looking just like but I my Jeep has
that little thing when I'm backing up or whatnot and it says a little message
goes still check still look like don't just like and I use that more when I'm
trying to get like close to a curve and I'm parallel parking or okay yeah because
I was gonna ask because your perception the perception is off like if you're
if you're solely looking at the goddamn camera I don't know maybe people don't do
that but I was just like I don't know if some people like when they're backing up
or in reverse if they just slowly look at the screen yeah your perception is off
exactly because like even your rearview mirrors are like hey things are closer
than they appear yeah ever and I I I think it's a nice little tool but I don't
rely on it 100% I always yeah I just always forget it's there the one at one
time I guess when because I don't know about your car but my car is weird like
if I'm like white lining it because you know there's a pothole in the middle of
the fucking road yeah it'll fucking like it'll beep and then I'll try and steer
me back onto the fucking into my lane even though it's not an automatic driving
car and I'm like bitch I'm white lining it for a goddamn reason it's because
there's a fucking pothole you stupid fuck I fucking hate that shit but I'm
trying to go with this there's cameras everywhere I guess yeah I don't know I
don't know how to say it it's just it's irritating it is I it took me a long
while to actually entrust on like Google Maps and Siri and shit like I don't know
and I'm just like where are you taking me why would I go this way why would I go
that way and so it's just the same thing with the camera I I I like the fact
that if I'm backing up it'll beep if I'm too close to something I was like
oh okay yeah I like that too because usually I'm just like I think I got
another inch to go like if you if you have somebody in your backseat does it
tell you to check your backseat when you exit the vehicle no oh my fucking does
that I have Fenway in the backseat when it's too hot or it's not hot anymore but
when it's too hot to walk her because on her feet so I'll drive her to the park
as soon as I fucking take or I turn the car off it'll be like don't forget to
check your rear your rear seat for your passenger and I'm just like I fucking
know that like it's so annoying wow people are dumb that's why it's like our
brains are turning to mush like nobody knows shit nobody knows nothing like I
was just listening to the no it's like a podcast or I don't fucking know what it
was really it was on the fucking radio but and they were saying that they did a
poll and they said is like Google Maps does or just whatever Siri whoever the
fuck you use your little ways app or whatever the fuck you use like could you
actually go anywhere if you didn't have that and it said 88% of the people who
took the poll said no they of course not because they're younger who took the
poll just like remember when I'm like I remember my parents fucking have the
goddamn Thomas guide oh my god that thing was a nightmare like you're on
page two and then it'll be like if you have to go up or you have to go north
go to page 80 and I'm just like this is fucking so stupid but yes and I remember
when I very first got my driver's license and I got triple A because my dad
was very like all your game triple A and this little star kit there's fucking
maps of all kelvin yes there's just maps and I would break them out and I'm like
okay so I'm gonna go here and then I remember what time I was looking at a
map I was like I'm gonna be passing a lake
dried up like oh there's no like these maps need to be updated I can't work
you know what my longest relationship Pomona bullets has been with triple A I
think I'm on year 26 now oh fuck I'm on year fucking 23
nice I know because it's California where I live I have to get the gold or I
have like the top tier or the second it's like the premium platinum yeah or
the premier plus plus because seven miles or 25 miles won't get you anywhere
in California I need the hundred miles yes bitch yes trust me M has used that
at least three or four times for I'm getting her car to Orange County back
and forth or whatever yeah or they laugh and then you're like yeah I fucking
love triple A I will pay that premium yeah I think we're like grandfathered
into it too because like my fucking annual fee is pretty decent so you have
so triple A like is in Oregon too I guess oh yeah it's nice okay okay I
wasn't sure I thought triple A was just for California I used to live in the
box there too and then I was like oh shit I can really use you guys in Oregon
yeah because you can use us in any state well the first year I had triple A
was when I graduated college and so my car broke down and so the the tow truck
comes and he's like oh you just have like I guess or whatever the base
membership he's like I can only take you seven miles because that's all it allows
and I'm just like okay well okay a and B the next day I immediately you're like
how do I get to like another tier or where it's more than seven fucking miles
because I was in recita
oh fuck bitch you're each day of the week I'm gonna go seven miles right
exactly I'm like okay lesson learned I need the top tier or sec I don't know I
think I have a second to the top tier of the premier or whatever yeah no that's
the top I because I was I don't even know I think platinum because I have the
premier platinum but like oh yeah it's a gold card and says it has two P's on
there so like yeah premier platinum yeah I'm fucking I'm like hey I'm stuck in
Vegas I need to come to fucking Oregon they'll fucking tell my ass all the way
right and I love that if your batteries did when they come out to they can
replace your battery yeah they just charge your account and I'm or I I'm
sorry they don't charge your account like you just have a card and I'll charge
your card but I'm just like this is the way it's supposed to fucking be yeah I
know and I have Geico car insurance like do you want rose I says I'm like no
thank you I have fucking triple a play thank you very much yeah go fuck
yourself Geico okay so we need when we go offline afterwards because when me and
Pomona bullets are done with every podcast we always now that I have an
iPhone we always go offline and then we face time we face time we go on the
docket for when we go offline Vegas for Thanksgiving okay for sure all right I
have that on my little extra I will book that immediately if we're down if we
agree on something oh yeah this part of my rave so I'll let you know and then you
know what if we show up there on Thursday Friday's Black Friday which means we
can go on our phones and get those mocha watches because you know they're gonna be
Black Friday yes Christmas is coming early for us this year
all right we out okay we need to end this podcast so we can face yeah not that
we don't love our listeners that's right okay so speaking of I don't have
anything more as far as topics go we can segue into rants I don't know do you
have any topics I don't necessarily have any topics I'm like football brain
right now but right no I can rant oh yeah okay you go with your rent and then
I'll go with mine okay so my rent for the week is fucking croc sandals I thought
my god please don't do you oh please don't tell me you wear crocs I go ahead
do your ant first oh my gosh okay so I just I don't know at first I'm like okay
it's a little I don't know it's kind of cute when your kid is at the river or the
beach and you know hey crash just hose them off whatever I don't know okay and
then when I started seeing adults wearing them and I'm like okay if you're
gonna wear them don't wear them with socks and then it's I don't know I was at
the store the other day and I saw a family in croc like yeah but they were
like in their pajamas as well and then they have crocs and not only just crocs
white dingy crocs like were you oh yeah no I can't do the white dingy shirt I'm
like oh my gosh I can't you throw crocs in the fucking washer or I don't know
but this fucking croc thing I I try to just like you know hey it's your cup of
tea but no I I've come to the conclusion that fuck people that wear
crocs like it's just no please stop please stop I don't know I mean maybe
well I guess fuck me then because you know what I said the same thing until
last year when I fucking got on Twitter I'm like they're dropping a wu-ting
fucking croc oh like take my fucking money bitch and then I asked Twitter
because I've never had a pair and I'm like do I get the size seven in men's or
size eight in men's because it's fucking men's sizes yeah and they're like get the
seven because I told them I'm an eight and a half and girls so of course I get
the seven they're fucking too small and they sold out so I'm just I still have
them I can barely wear them because my feet barely fit in them but then guess
what then they drop Pokemon ones or the Pikachu ones oh yeah I fucking have a
Pikachu one and the Pikachu lights up when I walk oh you know what I mean if it
was something like that I guess but if you're just gonna get like fucking
lime green cracks oh yeah no no no stop I have the Pokemon ones and then hello
kid they dropped Hello Kitty so I'm like yeah I have Hello Kitty too so okay well
I mean I'm you can just tell me I'm fucking gay yeah I mean I fucking own it
and I'm sure you and it would would be the same she's like oh fuck yeah Hello
Kitty she would probably definitely do that and hey if there was like charger
cracks guess who's buying them I would okay well I will find them I'm sure they
have them and I will fucking send them to you said fuck the people who wear them
with socks I only wear them with socks because when your toes get all jammed
up in the front and then just like I've seen people with their toes hanging out
at the front I'm just like oh that's disgusting and I just don't like my feet
all sweaty because they're plastic yeah well I mean even flip flops are sweaty
or yeah but close to yeah they are so your toes are always jammed at the front
at least my toes I don't think you have long toes yes I do I got my dad
monkey look like I should yeah exactly I'm like I could be hanging off a tree my
toes are long so like they get jammed at the front I'm just like I need fucking
the socks because it adds padding there's no padding in the front of the
goddamn crocs they put padding in the front anyways I'm fucking gay you're
saying they're fucking gay yeah well I just like I don't know I just think if
you're gonna rock the crocs then you have to hold yourself to a certain
standard I guess just don't I don't know I don't know and then there's this like
little flap that I guess that I don't know it goes over the hill yeah you know
you know I know what you're talking it goes over the hill or it goes behind your
heels so right when I'm what if you're walking you'll probably want it behind
your heels so it stays and your foot it doesn't fall off I guess I'm assuming
that's what it's for I would hope so but yeah nine times out of ten it's always
if I'm just actually walking in them I actually wear them to work on in the
summertime because it's so fucking hot even though our AC is fucking on and
the AC is cold like in my feet I'm just always fucking running on hot I don't
know everybody's different but I'm just like all the guys that work they're just
like me and AJ she's a girl obviously and we like it at 64 degrees but they're
like it's too fucking cold in here so we're like okay 68 yeah they're like we
could save a lot of money if we turn the air or if we put the thermostat at 72
and then you guys we could have like snacks we could have like food and
whatever the fuck and we're like no we want it at 64 but we'll settle at 68
yeah wear a jacket they're like but you have hoodies on them like this is the
way it's supposed to be like you have a hoodie on and it's fucking cold yeah and
you're inside go outside just like stop I don't know all the guys always are just
like it's so fucking cold I'm like go outside and fucking dig the trench with
all your the other guys yeah okay okay so I'm just never gonna wear my crocs in
front of you I don't know cuz sometimes I go to the river and I'm like just
tubing down the river whatever and tubing you know it's like a inner tube yeah
and whatever ice chess connected tubing and then you just see fucking crocs like
people everywhere by you fucking crocs just like super rules fucking fuck off
but I don't know I don't know I just think like what the fuck it you just
have to hold yourself to a certain standard you're gonna wear the crocs
put the little latch up above your there you go I guess I don't fucking know and
if you're gonna get white don't make don't wear with PJs yeah don't wear with PJs please I
rather see you in bedroom fucking slippers like the fluffy you go like just
that crocs Jesus but I mean they're not that they're they're a little pricey right I
buy them when they're on sale so like if they're normally like 55 bucks and I'm
like that's for a pair of that I'm like I wait till they're like they're on sale
for $35 and I'm like okay I can justify that shit or like I'll sign up with a
fake email address and I like you have 20% off today I'm like perfect that's what
I was hoping for like why would I pay full price for goddamn crocs I would
never pay full price for that shit yeah yeah but you know who knows I might I
might change my tune someday but anyhow hopefully crocs are out of the picture
by the time I change my tune but there you go I'm not buying any more of them
yeah so what's your rant my rant is I'm mad at myself so yesterday I get back
from Sam's and be and yesterday was raining whatever and it's perfect down
here yesterday was 64 today is like 65 by Wednesday it's gonna be 90 degrees
again whatever yeah but anyways yesterday was rainy I get off the freeway
it's around 12 o'clock 12 30 and I'm like I have to get gas and I say in my
fucking head as I pull into the gas station promotable it's M or Medusa
your gas tank is on the left side it's not on the right side you no longer have
your Chevy Sonic you have a Kia Soul it's on your left side what the fuck do I
do I pull up to the right side I walk into Arco and I say I want 65 on number
six right I fucking get back to my car and all I say is I immediately get my
car and I fucking hook around to the the pump on the left side somebody pulls
in to pump number whatever six right and I tell him and I'm like I have to run
back in I pulled on the wrong side do not start pumping he's like okay that's
cool so I go in and I'm like hey it's me again because I've done this before at
Arco and I'm like hey guess what on the wrong side I'm on pump number 10 I'm
sorry I'm on pump number 11 he's like all right and I'm like thank you I'm so
sorry I get back to fuck my fucking pump
promotables don't tell me number 11 is it number 11 yeah no no it's not no it's
number fucking 10 bitch so I'm like god damn it and everybody's looking at me
they're like this fucking bitch is so dumb I am so fucking dumb I run back in
and he starts laughing he's like I already knew where you were your money's on
10 I'm like goddamn it I fucking love you bitch yeah oh my god well listen dude
did it so my rant is I a I'm stupid and be all guests or a gas tanks need to be
on the same goddamn side of every fucking vehicle for every fucking make
for every maker for every fucking year moving forward please yeah and fuck
electric cars fuck Tesla hang out Elon Musk yeah get the fuck out of here go to
the moon go to Mars already yeah and leave us alone yeah god damn I can't
believe I did that twice so but and of course I said 65 on on six sixty five
dollars of course it ends up being sixty two dollars I walk back in for my change
motherfucker you tired of me yet he's like no I'm having lots of fun with you
please you didn't just drive off because you didn't know how to open up fucking god
I just go god damn it I'm like I can't believe I pulled into the gas station and
said you need to park on the left your gas tanks on the left and then I
immediately just pull up to the right cuz yeah yeah your your your conscience
and your brain are not having it as much as I talk about my mom I'm turning
into my fucking called karma oh shit
all right let's segue into trash versus cash money yeah yo you go I guess we'll
go back and forth so you start ma'am oh okay I'm gonna okay with cash or trash
do you well we're both pretty much single so when you're dating do you tend to go
towards the good guy or the bad boy persona the good guy's gonna be shivers
and open your door and just whatever you want or the bad boy you know on the
more it's gonna be bad boy cuz the the good boy type bullshit it like ends up
though you know what let me go with this so cash I guess is bad and then trash is
good I guess oh I guess right because look I grew up clearly I don't know how to
say this so my mom always told me growing up why why are you you're exactly
like your dad why can't you be more like I guess your brother and I'm just like
maybe because my dad fucking holds the fucking fort down and my mom was always
like wait till your mom we talked about this last yeah wait till your dad gets
home so he you and he can discipline you and I'm just like whatever all I know is
the European culture from my dad because he was old school he was born in 1941 or
42 was just like very machismo and I'm trying to go with this shit oh okay so
nothing is it wasn't really like romantic with him like because my mom like
blocked that shit so like I had a romantic I guess the guy was romantic or
romance or whatever the fuck it was it was weird I had that like maybe 10 12
years ago and it felt so cool I was just like oh I like this yeah it like but
then you get all your emotions evolved and so when you break up like it's really
fuck it was really bad for me because I never had that I'm just like you know
what fuck this shit I'm like let me just get with the bad boy or just like the
guy that I know that it's not gonna or you know it's like it is what it is and
that's why I like vanilla gorilla because I don't it's just like we do our
thing and then like we're done yeah and we're not together but we are together
for 20 fucking years yeah so that type of thing so I was just like yeah I can't
I'm just like that's not just I don't know I'm so much I'm sure you're like
your dad like I'm so much like my dad it's like I can't be in a relationship and
then just like I don't know it's just I don't know like when I was I don't know
about you because your dad is not European but he's obviously in my not a
minor well I guess my minority I guess yeah but he's not American yeah but um
like my dad would be always like growing up he's like it was it wasn't like set
out loud Pomona Bullets but it was just like if a guy gives you gifts like he
owns you like you don't ever want that like he didn't say it was being a whore
but it was just like that's not you that's not how I'm raising you yeah yeah
exactly it's like if you like something or want something it's nice to get a gift
once in a while yeah I'll get it my goddamn self oh no that's okay that's
what I'm going with this like if you ever need anything you don't go to a fucking
man you go to your brother or you go to me don't ever go to a fucking man and
ask him for shit yeah I'm just like okay and then obviously you do it for
yourself yeah obviously but it's so weird like I tell that to people that are
like born and raised here and they love they're like what the fuck is your
problem I'm like I don't know that's the way I was fucking raised yeah I I like I
mean I don't want all the good guys to just turn to bad but I'm I'm kind of
like trash like don't I can open my own fucking car door I could I I don't know I
uh I don't I don't need fucking flowers for my birthday thank you I'm like I had
a guy that wanted to take care of me when I was sick and I'm like no bro I'm
fucking sick I'm gonna get you sick like leave me the fuck alone yeah I just need
to be asleep and I need a fucking rest for sure and it's like that I like the
and then I get called a bitch and I'm like you know what I gotta go buy yeah I
get called on grateful all the time like well you know your flowers are nice but
I don't give a fuck I don't fucking know but I think it's also because we're
single moms and we had to deal with our kids yeah so it's a whole different
animal when you deal with I guess us as our I guess single moms yeah cuz it's
like if I'm cleaning my guns after I'm at the range and you want to pick up my
gun like it's like a dirty diaper like no sorry good guy
piece like get the fuck out of my face but if the bad boy picks up my gun
helps me fucking clean them and fucking load them and make sure you know all
like yes please I don't even do that I just give it to my brother my brother
fucking feels stripping for me all day long okay so where you go okay so
obviously I went on the tangent so what about you for cash money did you already
tell me and I wasn't paying yeah I'm just saying for the bad boy persona okay
yeah just like cuz they fucking leave us alone yeah yeah and then you know what
I'm so bad because when we want to be left alone and they're the bad boy like
every now and then us girls are like me and you because we're tomboy like every
now and then we want some attention yeah yeah for sure wanted all the time so it's
just like I guess I was being a total fucking rude bitch or whatever because
now they're not paying attention but I'm like I'm not gonna go chasing after it
yeah I'm too tired for that shit like you're gonna you'll show up on my door
step one of these yeah full moon next week you'll be here
oh shit okay so um this is like total opposite of yours bar soap or liquid soap
for trash okay so I use both but for different reasons but for the cash in
the trash I'm gonna have to trash the bar soap and cash the liquid soap okay
but I do like bar soap and I do have to use a washcloth or something with it I
don't like when people just get a bar soap and scrub and there's like pubes
and shit all my stuff like that well maybe if they fucking shave their peel
off like they're supposed to there wouldn't be any fucking pews in the
car all hiking or just use a fucking washcloth I don't know everyone's like
you use washcloths too fucking you know what I got my daughter on washcloth
because she sees those little not the luffa sponge but you know I'm talking
little puffy yeah I use that when I travel because I don't like packing
washcloths and then when I'm done traveling you just fucking throw it in
the trash right on your last day but I'm the same way I cash money all day long
for me but I shower twice a day so I shower in the morning after I work out
and then before I go to bed just because I've been I've been showering twice a
day I yeah I'm wasting water California I don't give a fuck if I swim in the
middle of the day I fucking take three showers a day so how about that that
hasn't happened since the summertime but because my skin I guess since I
shower twice a day it has to be bar soap and it's always been ivory so it's
ivory bar soap with a fucking washcloth yep and I scrub it up dub dub yes I do
like bar soap but I have one of those luffa like backscroppers and guess what
I'm putting oh yeah I'm putting the liquid so yeah but no but if you have the
luffa or like that that's bungee sponge or whatever that thing is like it's
better with the liquid yeah for sure okay all right well here we go so I don't
know if you know but okay BKFC or mmk so BKFC I don't know if you watch it's
bare knuckle fighting oh they keep talking about I have a girl for you to
check out yes you know Paige Vanz that one I'm bare knuckle I do and I haven't
watched her but you know she's on only fans out I've always fucking loved her
and she's fucking hot and she's still married to the same um well I shouldn't
say she's still married to the same MMA guy but they're still married I don't
remember his fucking name but I'm so happy they're still married and she's
like the I think she's always been the prettiest her and me should take yeah um
yeah no um see you know what Joe Rogan just fucking his last he fucking had um
the guy that was training who was training by Mike Tyson what's his name
Francis and Gano is being trained by Mike Tyson I want to say what yeah for a
boxing match if I'm saying this correctly but um they were talking about
bare knuckle boxing and I was just like you know what I oh no I'm sorry so was
Joe Rogan talking to Eddie Bravo that's his juju instructor so um I'm just like
you know what he made valid points like when you're bare knuckle boxing like
when your hand hits somebody I like your fucking hand gets so fucked up yeah
it's so brutal it's yeah so brutal yeah I was just like that's like street fight
shit like if new Diaz or the Diaz brothers were doing it I'm totally down
but I don't know if I could watch that fucking beat down it's really bloody it's
very brutal it's very like it's not that sport I mean MMA you can use your legs
you can take them down they can tap out bare knuckles like wow I don't get me
wrong I subscribe and I watch that shit every Thursday but it's brutal I'm
wait so where do you watch or what what do you subscribe to a BKFC online yeah
oh I'm gonna have to check that out you know what I never gotten to MMA until like
maybe 12 13 years ago like right before um you know who Amanda Leo is yeah
Linus no she was like she retired but um Amanda Leo the Linus like I watched her
very first fight when um she's MMA yeah she's MMA she retired but that was like
2012 2013 oh no I'm sorry I was already in Long Beach so maybe 2014 I was just
like this bitch is gonna fucking take it and she's she's she's got so many
fucking belts but um I thought that shit was so fucking gay before just because
of the wrestling component yeah I don't want to see like if I'm a guy I don't
want to see your fuck the other opponents nuts in my fucking face like I
think that's just so fucking gross yeah but then I don't know how I got into it
but I did and now I fucking love it so I would say okay so cash money is MMA be
just because I don't know it's just I don't know cash money is MMA for me just
because it is what about you yeah I'm gonna I'm old-school I guess you could
say now so for the past I don't know 20 years it was MMA and then this BKFC's
surfaced and I was like what the fuck you like send me that link send me that
link so I can check it out yeah for sure for sure I have it on there's I was
gonna sorry I didn't mean to go I was gonna say there's an MMA girl I started
following on now that um the Linus retired there's a MMA girl I want to say
from Thailand or Taiwan oh you know I'm talking about I know but I would you
couldn't bet money on me to give you her but I know I'm like this is my new it
girl and I'm like if I guess I know I need to start watching her on the TV when
she fights or whatever because I just keep seeing all her clips on Instagram
and it's man that girl don't fucking play I know it's fucking amazing I yeah
cash is MMA I do like BKFC but I would have if I had to choose it would I'd
have to trash BKFC okay that's because your MMA your kick original kickboxer
yes ma'am that's right bitch boom okay so my my trash and cashless is so much
boring now compared to yours regular hoodie or zip-up hoodie I'll do regular
for the cash money I do like my zip-ups though but if I had to choose trash for
the zip-ups cash for the pullover I was the same way until I hit the what's it
called the hot flashes I don't have hot flashes anymore thank God but for like the
last two years I had hot flashes and I'm just like oh yeah now I'm zip-up
hoodie so like when you get hot you can unzip it and you can still have it on
and you can fucking unheat or you can like get the heat out but as opposed to
the zip or the regular hoodie because then when I was going through that
transition I was just like oh my gosh to take it off and then I'm like oh I'm
fine now I have to put it back on I'm just like this shit is dumb let me just
buy a whole bunch of zip-ups like rolling up my sleeves and I'm pulling
them down regular and then you try and then you know I wear the hoop so I'm
trying to take off my fucking you know like speaking up I haven't worn earrings
in over a year I guess I need to get back into it hopefully my ear hole or
the my holes in my ears are still open I'm finally getting my sexy back as of
like three months ago so I need to start like doing that shit again I just like
well that's good you took a break because you don't want to have your ear
loaves all drooping and shit like well no I don't have those big old fucking
whatever those those spacers or whatever I need to start yeah I need to start
wearing hoops again or earrings or whatever so yeah thank you I guess I'll
start doing that at least once a week as well okay your turn okay so now we're
just gonna segue off to another okay I'm not a big breakfast person but if you
had to pancakes or waffles I think you asked us last week but I have all my
notes no oh okay so waffles waffles and that's only if somebody else is making
them okay because waffles oh I need to send you a picture of I gotta find the
picture it's on my phone somewhere but it was like maybe 10 years ago I bought
M a fucking waffle maker for Christmas and I'm like there's direction she's like
bitch I don't need the directions I don't know how to make waffles I'm like okay
and what does she do she fucking makes the waffles but like you can only put
you know you can only put so much in there yeah she fucking did it there was
fucking fucking batter everywhere everybody's like are you fucking drunk
like she posted it on her Instagram she doesn't have Instagram anymore but she's
like I'm on a Saturday you guys already fucking drinks she's like we're
drinking already but um no I'm not drunk and clearly I should have read the
directions but yeah waffles are too much work so if somebody else is making
them I will totally eat the waffles if not then pancakes and I'm by pancakes I
mean you need to make you need to make them because I don't even make pancakes
anymore yeah well I make the beer pancakes they're pretty good that's right
so my cash is pancakes um that's right but I do like a Belgian waffle with some
like you know I don't know what they put in some eggs yeah waffle or chicken
and waffles yeah yes and not from Rostos but like from anywhere it's like it's
so fucking good I don't know okay okay so um Lotto scratcher or like the jackpot
like Powerball and Mega like for your three I mean both are cash money all
day long yeah my my cash where I get my thrill from is scratch the scratchers
just like come on give it to mama yeah yeah um only because I've never won on
the other but I they're both cash money but I'm gonna have to trash the quick
kick and yeah I'm gonna cash in on the scratchers because I want on
scratchers so so Oregon has their own lottery then I guess right yes okay
because California has like the scratchers now where it's $20 and you
can win up to $5 million and I'm like that's the only one I'm fucking buying
because if you can't play big you're not gonna win big that's right it's like
500,000 or not I'm sorry it's 1,00,000 2,00,000 I want to say and then if you
win the 5 million then it's $500,000 a year for 25 years and I'm like that's
what I'm playing let's go once a week yes yes I yeah I'm with you cash money on
the scratcher scratchers yes I don't know it's just somewhere so much more fun
yeah it's just like you just you don't even and you know it's bad luck you don't
scratch it in the parking lot you know what I scratched it on the way home
when the light is red yeah it's not in the parking lot you'll win oh shit okay
that was my last one okay I have one last last one okay cool and so I think
there's a difference between a sport and a game so okay I'm gonna go for two
gangs because you can be any weight any size any whatever it's just all about
strategy I hate both of these things but um would you cash or trash golf and
bowling also either one of those yeah yes if you had to watch you know what I
would cash money bowling because I don't know bowling's more fun to me it's
there's no strategy like you're just gonna fucking throw it down the lane and
I've ever seen the movie Kingpin yes I love that because I would be happy
Gilmore for golf and I still wouldn't be able to get it in the hole so I'm like
I'm bowling for money cash money and then trash would be golf I can't even
play miniature yeah it pisses me off I'm trash and golf like I trash and golf I
don't know sometimes there's like these dudes are like so hot and handsome and
they're like I'm going to play golf this weekend I'm like okay yeah I'm like
delete delete your number
right now with the bowler yeah I'm gonna go hang out I have a beer while they
bowl right and some nachos so I'm cashing on the bowling okay sweet I'm
glad we agree on that yes you know right you didn't even say you're right though
we have a great we're did you you're not Raven anything well I'm Raven about
Don Julio 70 it's not trash unlike Don Julio 1942 you know what I think it was
Friday because it was a long the longest Friday at work I fucking listened to the
Don Julio is trash podcast we did when I was drunk and we I'm like hey let's start
podcasting now I think I listened to 15 minutes I'm like I'm like I don't eat
I don't even know how we fucking lasted an hour a and B it was just fucking
ridiculous nonsense I know my rave is Don Julio 70 that is my boyfriend I
fucking love you bitch yes well I was just gonna rave that I fucking I know I
live under a rock I know it's not Twitter anymore is what it's X I call it
what are fuck Ellen month I fucking I don't fucking know but you know I don't
have social media and any of that right so apparently yeah I live under a rock
for the most part but I didn't know that Mr. Runn burgundy had a podcast and I'm
gonna fucking rave about that because I don't know he could he could have came
out with this shit fucking 10 years ago and I'm barely finding out well I didn't
know about that till you told me yesterday yeah I'm fucking raving on
that shit he's I love Will Ferrell
fucking Ron B
Scott Scott Scott yeah I love Scott it's so fucking hilarious I mean and thank
goodness that I just found out because now I can just do a fucking hey Dave and
just listen to his fucking podcast for episode after episode after episode
yeah fucking saying here yeah so that was my raise I'm just like yeah yeah Ron B
you know who also has a podcast who we do yeah yeah on that note we are out bye
bitches later