Welcome to our podcast, Top Shelf Hygienics.
You are Pomona Bullets and I am Baroque Medusa.
And we are here to clink, clink and drink, drink.
Let us begin.
Good day.
Good day, Biotch.
You thought, did I take too long to join?
No girl, I don't give a fuck.
I'm here all day long, so it doesn't matter.
I see you bitches are tied with the Minnesota Vikings.
It's Orson's favorite team.
Oh, I'm like, please, we're already zero and two.
And guess what? So the Raiders are number one for the AFC West.
Fuck, I saw that in the fucking
rarely. We'll see what happens tonight, because, you know, we're playing
fucking dealers.
I know.
So what's going on?
How was the Karate tournament yesterday?
Oh, this is great.
He he got it.
He ranked up. He got his purple belt.
So is that like level three now?
I don't remember the color, the color level.
Yeah, because it was white, white, yellow, orange, purple.
Also, he's good for him.
Yeah. Yeah.
Did all the other people pass too, I guess?
Or you know, it's sad because majority of them do.
But there's a few that just don't rank up and they make you sit
up and you have to have your eyes closed and you put your belt, take it off.
You put it behind you and you sit like an Indian or you could
kneel, I guess they say, where you kind of sit on your feet.
And you have to have your eyes closed.
So if you open your eyes during this time, like you fail, everything,
everything you did, all your moves, everything you were doing, you fail.
And how long do you have to be like that for?
There it's about maybe five, ten minutes, which is really hard for self.
Yeah. And they just like gong this little dung and they walk around
and you're supposed to center yourself and whatever.
But a lot of the kids either a, bring some type of like
bandana or something to put over their eyes.
So they don't get distracted. That's smart.
And and and if whatever or you you're even allowed to,
if you don't trust yourself, you can put your hands over your eyes.
OK.
And put your hands up your eyes and then open your eyes.
Yeah, exactly.
You totally could just put your palms over your eyes and have them open.
I bet Bruce Lee didn't think of that.
Yeah.
But yeah, so a few people didn't rank up, but, you know, is what it is.
OK, before we get started, I guess, because we know how I haven't.
We haven't talked in like two weeks, but what are you drinking?
Let's start. I am. I'm doing what a man.
Moonshine, coconut water. Oh, shit.
I know. Are you by yourself today or who's over at your place?
Me, my dog and my son.
OK, well, you're about to get turned up.
You better tell Jay.
I'm doing hot peppermint tea with two shots of vodka in it
because it's like kind of fally here.
Fall season, sort of not really.
Fucking raining here.
So is it cooler now up there or what?
Well, yeah, it's getting.
It's like 40 degrees in the mornings.
Oh, sweet. Yeah.
I like it cold.
So do I.
So do I because I hate having to get like fucking spray tans being organ.
I don't get no sun.
Well, at least they offer that in Oregon.
I didn't think they would have offered that.
I will buy the college so you would you would think
that would be a lucrative business, but it right by the college.
Oh, I took the G unit yesterday.
She actually replied.
I just asked her how her first week in college and the dorm life was going.
She said she's having a lot of fun and she's still, I guess,
doing all the school activities.
I guess school hasn't actually started yet or class hasn't started.
Right. Well, I guess it started.
They just get to find out where their classes, whatever.
So probably this week is the first.
OK. And she didn't come home this weekend.
No, I was sad.
You're like, but you need to come home and do some chores for mama.
I even try to bribe her.
Hey, we could have Sunday.
She's like, no, I'm going to you told me that I need to be in a dorm.
I'm staying at a fucking dorm.
So fuck you kindly, mom.
I didn't want her to go in the dorm.
And there was a way.
You did. No, there was a waiver.
And I said, hey, we we live close enough to the college
where we could sign a waiver because they do recommend that the first
the freshman, you know, your first year you you go to the dorm
because a lot of the people are there from, you know,
other parts of Oregon and whatever.
So they want you to not drop out.
They want you to be there.
And it makes them more responsible.
Yeah. She's like,
I want to I want to go to the dorm.
And I said, OK, well, that's like, you know, 14,
or more, but OK.
Got to do it.
I guess so.
Just do it.
It'll be good for her.
I guess she's having fun.
So OK, well, good.
I'm glad.
Yes. So last Saturday, while you were moving her into the dorms,
me and I don't know if you remember my college best friend, Tina,
she always she's black and she always wore a bra.
Oh, yes. Yes.
OK, so we met up.
I haven't seen her in a year and a half, even though I live so much closer to her
now, but her schedule is she's a grandmother of three now.
So she's always busy with kids and her sister and her mom and everything,
the family life.
So anyways, we did a slumber party at the Marriott in Rancho Cucamonga
right next to Victoria Gardens, because that's what we did, right?
So we pull up or we meet at the Marriott so we can drop our shit off.
And then we're waiting for our Uber to take us to the yardhouse
at Victoria Gardens. Yes. Why did why did Charo walk out of the fucking hotel girl?
Shut up. And then we didn't have her.
She kept walking because and we were already in the Uber and we're telling
the Uber guy, we're like, slow the fuck down.
Don't pull out yet because don't pull out yet. That's what he said.
Well, she's because Tina wanted to a picture
to see if we could snap a picture with Charo, but she was already
parked in the fucking handicap. I was fucking dying, but she still looks good.
She looks the same. She has not aged.
And Tina was like, girl, you look good.
Keep doing it. She's like, thank you.
No, my goodness.
But Charo was hanging out at the Rancho Cucamonga Marriott.
I'm like, what the fuck?
What?
Yeah. So we did the slumber party and so by slumber party, it's because we're old
and I don't want to fucking drive home.
I want to drink and have fun and then just like crash at the hotel.
So she's like, before we met up, she's like, so what are we doing?
Are we just like in go bar hopping?
I'm like, I was so tired last week, Pomona bullets.
I'm like, I just want to sit at a bar and watch an entire fucking football game
and just fucking drink and decompress.
She's like, sweet, I don't want to dress up.
And I'm like, even better. Yes.
So we fucking get done.
We watch like half a football game at the yard house.
And by the way, they have really good seared ahi tuna.
Which is what the yard?
That's what I said.
I'm like at the yard house of all places.
They're fucking and I ordered their barbecue chicken pizza.
That was fucking trash.
I didn't complain, but I said, why is this pizza soggy?
They're like, you didn't ask for it.
Well done. I'm like, why am I supposed to ask for a so well fucking done?
Like, and that wasn't listed on the fucking menu, but they removed it for my
bill or whatever. How do you ask for a chicken pizza to be well done?
Like maybe extra.
Yeah.
They said they need to leave it longer in the oven and next time tell them less
barbecue sauce. And I'm like, well, maybe you guys should just fucking do it
like that automatically so people wouldn't have to like complain and say, you know
what, guess what, this pizza soggy.
Yeah, we're like at a biscuit.
Arbacue sauce.
On the side, I don't know.
Less is more, you know, right?
Well, so we get done.
We Uber back to the hotel and we're like catching up
because I haven't talked to her in forever.
So we're catching up and I'm like, hey, let's go down to the hotel bar.
Girl, there is nobody.
Why are all Marriott hotel bars the fucking best place to fucking drink at?
Let me start there.
It was only me and her on a Saturday night.
And this God bless this fucking bartender.
His name is Dylan.
I think he was like maybe 22.
Like he just like graduated from bartending school.
So it's just like a standard small bar and he opens up the liquor cabinet
and he's looking, I don't know, he was looking for a team order to cosmopolitan.
So he was looking for the ingredients are bullshit.
And I'm like, oh, shit, you have orange Stoli.
And he's like, what?
Girl, I'm like, I didn't drink beer.
So I was drinking.
I finally had truly.
Oh, and you know what?
No, I understand why you drank 12 because that fucking alcohol content sucks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So what? So I start drinking and I'm like, this shit is fucking whack.
So when he opens up the liquor cabinet, I'm like, oh, shit.
On the top shelf, I'm like, you have orange Stoli.
And he was like, I don't know what the fuck that is.
I'm like, bitch, and he can't fucking reach it.
Right. So I'm telling him, I'm like, look, it's there.
I'm like, I'm going to guide you.
Just fucking listen to what I'm saying.
I'm like, OK, put your hand further back to the left.
And he keeps going.
He keeps going to the right.
I'm like, bitch, not your right, your fucking left, your other left.
So I'm telling him your left, left, left.
And so he goes completely all the way left.
And I'm like, bitch, you were just right fucking there.
So Tina starts laughing, right?
So I'm like, OK, now go back to the right, like the first fucking row,
because everything was not lined up.
Everything was just thrown in there, which pisses me off.
Like it should be in a fucking single file line.
Lame pulls to the front.
Where the fucking God?
It was a good three minutes of me telling him back front left.
And I'm like, is this how I'm like, I really hope you don't have problems
fighting your girls, G spot.
Everybody's there.
There's four people at the bar.
It's me, Tina and two bartenders.
So the other bartenders like, look, I can find your spot girl.
And I'm like, find it, bitch.
And he pulls it out and I'm just like, see, what's that fucking hard?
Anyways, where I'm going with this is if you have truly, you've got to add extra
vodka to it because that shit was fucking lit.
Once I threw, I'm like, I need three shots of vodka in my fucking truly.
I told you, it's like piss water.
It's like, man, I was just like, no wonder fucking Pomona bullets fucking did
12 of these. Yeah. Fucking like that's course light for fucking.
Bitches. Yeah.
And it's like, well, less carbs.
Well, I don't think it's less cars.
You're drinking a 12 pack.
Right. An hour.
Fuck, man.
I was just like, it just needs higher alcohol content.
I don't know, bitches who can't handle their alcohol like fucking man up.
That's just like the clink clink gang.
No, I know.
Remember, we always said we, well, we had rules.
Who could be a part of our clink clink gang?
Oh, yeah.
They couldn't be abrasive, weird drunks, like raging alcoholic.
Oh, yeah. You know, because like when some people start drinking,
they just get fucking angry and shit or crying.
Remember, we didn't want to do any cryers.
No, we had a long list of shit.
Like we just want to chill and fucking be stupid.
Yeah. If you didn't pop the the alcohol bubble we were in, you can join the club.
There you go.
Don't fuck with my buzz.
Yes, because you won't be invited back.
Never.
So how long did it take for June to get moved in last weekend?
Actually, it was fairly easy.
She just had a big
like, you know, airplane luggage.
Oh, okay.
Shit. Okay. She did.
But she just put them in boxes and we just taped them and OK, literally
filled up the car and just walked around there.
Yeah. And then I did the whole dog thing.
I saw that video.
I loved it.
And she doesn't even pay attention.
Like, bitch, it's right in your face.
Like, I was like, she doesn't look up.
Look up.
Doesn't even say it. It's three feet.
And how she how she getting along with her roommate.
Or her roommate or dorm mate, I guess.
I don't know what that.
Yeah. Her little dorm mate has been her buddy all high school.
So that's right.
OK. At least they got where they were.
They able to choose their roommate?
Yes. You know, it's weird.
I think I mentioned it before on a previous episode,
but it was weird because the college wanted
everybody to go like a dating app or a dating website.
Kind of like I'm just going to.
I'm going to reference it to that because it's all roommates.
And you say, this is a picture of me.
These are my likes. These are, you know, whatever.
I'm into sports or whatever.
And you get to find somebody like, I think I could probably get along with that one.
Oh, that works out better than just like how I guess they used to do.
And just like person A and B, you guys are roommates
because if what if you guys don't jive together or whatever, you know?
Yeah, like revenge with a nerd. OK.
Well, that's good.
Yeah, exactly. So yeah.
But they already knew.
So they actually requested that they be roommates or dormates.
OK. And then they were able to choose a dorm.
And is it a coed dorm or or is it?
It is because the but the boys are on the third floor.
OK. Oh, that's one like one big building, I guess. Yeah. OK.
Well, good for her. I'm so happy that.
Damn, I can't believe she's grown.
I know.
So speaking of a Gen Z, I'm going to get into one topic really quick.
I guess if you don't mind your daughter is Gen Z, I would think, right?
She's 18. Yes. OK.
So guess what?
According to I fucking hate Fox News, but Fox News hit my news feed.
Gen Z. I give Gen Z another win over the millennials, over the Gen Xers.
And of course, the stupid fucking baby boomers.
According to Fox News, and I'm reading this now,
Gen Zers do not want to get married and they're bragging about not wanting to get married.
They're bragging about not wanting to have kids and they're bragging about having
their me time and their career time and that they can do whatever the fuck they want.
If they don't have a family, if they don't have to raise kids or if they don't have a husband
or I guess or a wife. And I'm like, you know what, Gen Z?
Top five.
Applaud to you guys like fuck the society, nor and fuck marriage.
Like you can't get divorced if you don't get married is my fucking motto.
Yeah. Yeah. Good for Gen Z.
Yes, exactly. There's no more Beaver Cleaver mothers out there.
Make your own breakfast, bitch.
Warm up your own fucking sausage McMuffin.
Right. Oh, God.
And I never understood you could go.
You can get married through in a drive through in Vegas.
But what about a divorce bid?
You want a divorce?
Drag that shit out for a year.
Yeah. Might as well stay married to the motherfucker for ten years.
You get some if he even had anything worth it.
And then the people who are so anti marriage for the gays.
And I'm like, who fucking cares?
Everybody deserves to be happy or miserable.
So I'm fucking get married to be happy or miserable.
It doesn't fucking matter.
Yeah, God damn Republicans.
Nobody cares.
Only the Republicans do.
They're like, well, this is going to fuck up the.
What about the NCAA brackets, bitch?
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah. Hold on.
Trying to.
Are you there? Yeah, I'm here.
I'm going to hold on. So I'm.
I was all checking the score.
But hold on.
Seven seven. Yeah.
All right.
Did you were you able to figure out how to cast to your TV while you're podcasting?
No, but I'm trying.
I know that I can have all these apps open and I can still talk.
I think.
Oh, do you have a TV in your bedroom?
Yeah, but it's a.
Same. So it's old.
I cannot.
One of those where you could stream your phone to the.
Oh, OK. So I guess when we get done here,
just try next or not try next time.
I guess like try before next week or try next week before you log into when I send you the link.
Like already have the game casted to your TV and then I'll
I'll text you the link and then you join.
I think it would work. It should work.
So it probably should.
I just probably need to have the phone charging because.
Oh, got it.
Yeah, I need to charge my phone as well.
All the time.
I'm not going to lie.
Good goodness.
So I was going to bring up briefly
and I just wanted to your thoughts on this.
OK.
So I have a co-worker and
he gets upset because his wife
makes him like the bad cop.
As a parent.
OK.
She can't discipline the children and they're probably seven years old and 10.
She can't or doesn't.
She she's like you just wait till your dad gets.
Oh my god, you know what?
My mom was the same fucking way.
And that's why I love my mom, but I don't don't respect her as much as my dad
because she would always pull that line.
And it's like he tells me I don't see my kids.
He works 10 hour shifts.
He's like I don't see my kids.
So when I come home, I have to discipline him.
Yeah, I have to be back.
That blow and I was thinking like that blows.
It really does blow.
I've never had the opportunity to say I'm going to be the good cop.
And you're going to be the bad cop.
No, I've never had that opportunity either.
I had to be a single mom.
Yeah, being a single mom.
So how does that relate to me?
I'm just and so my children think that I'm just like a fucking lunatic.
I'm the same, same, same.
So how the fuck can you complain?
You should just switch roles and say, listen, honey, why don't you work 10
hour shifts and then I'll be the good cop and you get a cop.
Or you just yell all day.
So when I come home, the kids are happy to see me with donuts and a beer.
Yeah.
Fuck. And I was just like, I never had that privilege.
So yeah, there's one day where I'm all you little maggots.
Right.
You go in and clean your room, clean your ass, whatever.
And then it's so what did you tell them?
Well, I was like, you told them you're like, I've never had that opportunity.
No, because I didn't want to.
I didn't want to be one of those that spin the story like now it's all about me.
Right.
I'm trying to listen.
So it's like, OK, I said, you know what you need to do is start coming home
with donuts and ice creams and.
Just really get a room.
Exactly. You're a bad kid today.
Here's two donuts. Yeah.
You know what? I like that theory.
Try that out.
I'm sure you'll change your tune real fucking quick.
Yeah, I'm sure your wife will not like it.
I'm sure she'll turn into a raging fucking cunt.
And I'm sure he's not getting sex already.
So now he's really not going to get it.
So guess what? Who cares?
It's a win-win for him. At least the kids will like him.
Yeah. Yeah. At least he won't be the back cop.
Shit. I bet you those kids will change quick.
Which he has to deal with them.
We're going to be bad.
You pay me in donuts if you're going to be if I'm going to be bad.
When?
And then when he hears the wife say what you're going to report.
Reward their bad behavior.
Yeah, you fucking.
Well, I don't know. I just got home.
I'm so glad I'm not married. Good God.
I know it's a lot.
It's a lot of fucking nagging.
You know, the good thing, though, is when you're married,
it's just it should be in my eyes.
It should be chill because you're married.
You have kids. That's the one you're at.
But let's just say you go to a concert.
You don't give a shit if your husband's having fun or your partner.
You just know that they're coming home with you and you don't care.
Like, can I can I offer you my jacket?
Are you cold? Like, you don't give a fuck.
It's just like you're in that relationship.
It's like, you know, OK, so now that we're speaking,
because I've never been married, I'm not going to get married.
I don't have you been married.
You never been married.
Oh, you have been married.
Yes. To who?
To Jason's dad.
Why don't I remember that?
How long were you married for?
I hope that was an old or what happened?
Um, no, I don't.
I already know what happened.
But how long were you married for?
Um, over like six years.
Wow. But we were separated.
I was drunk the entire time because I don't recall that at all.
We were separated, but.
Oh, got it. OK. Yeah.
There was a lot of drama and he was, you know, gone a lot.
We were, but technically we were married.
Oh, well, that doesn't count.
I don't count. Yeah.
And I don't consider it a real marriage.
Like.
I'm going to go with this fucking shit.
In the courthouse of Pomona bullets.
Right. It don't count.
It didn't count.
Just like the one night stand last night.
Didn't count.
There you go.
Sting winner, winner chicken dinner. I don't remember where I was going to try
and go with this. Oh, well, whatever.
The thought has fleeted my short memory.
Fuck, man.
Oh, my gosh.
Is we're going to start on some rants or some rain?
Well, really quick.
I know I texted you yesterday where we're going to talk or my other topic, I guess.
OK, so I don't know if you're aware because you don't watch the news.
I don't really watch the news either.
But Hollywood has been on strike for like, I don't know, like two, three fucking
months with the writers Guild. Yeah. OK.
So yeah, the writers and the actors and actresses are on strike as well.
Right. So nobody's fucking filming new shit.
Where I'm going with this is they have or they're going to
rerelease Britney Spears movie Crossroads.
And I'm like, you know what?
Don't fucking care. I'm like, I love Britney Spears.
I am not going to watch that movie again because I took that from I took
my daughter to see that movie. It was fucking stupid. Of course.
Yeah. But I'm like, come on, a bullet.
What five movies would you actually go to the movie theater theater
to watch and put money into if they were to rerelease them
because of the writer strike?
Oh, because of the writer strike.
Now, let me piggyback off that really quick.
I'm sorry. So let me enter or interrupt you with every year, AMC,
and I'm sure other movie chains, they rerelease certain movies for,
like, a week that you can go see.
So that's panic.
But fuck that. That's not on my five.
I hope that's not on my five.
Fuck no.
Last February of 2022, they rerelease Godfather for one fucking week.
And let me fucking tell you that movie was I was one year old
when that movie came out.
I've seen that movie a billion times on the DVD, streaming, whatever.
I saw it in the movie theater and let me fucking tell you,
it's a different experience altogether, especially when the daughter
or the sister gets fucking beat with the belt by her cheating husband.
Yeah, I felt like I was getting beat.
And when Santino got ambushed and fucking shot up and the.
You know, the ambush after.
Yeah, I started crying for real, real tears.
I'm just like, OK, this is the way you're supposed to watch the Godfather,
not on fucking VHS, how like I did in the yeah and streaming.
Oh, my God, that movie.
I was just like, rerelease that shit.
But anyways, what five movies, I guess, if you can think of that,
you would totally go to see if they were to rerelease because of the writer's strike.
Oh, see. All right.
So I kind of missed it.
And I was just thinking if it's whatever you like,
yeah, if this movie came back to the big screen, I would like to see it.
And it was more of the movies that I religiously as a child watched over and over and over and over.
And so the one was enemy mine.
I know I don't even know that one.
Who's in it?
Oh, my gosh, Dennis Quaid.
What year or how old are you when that movie came out?
Enemy. I'm going to have to write that down.
See, this is why I wanted to ask you.
So it's such an 80s movie.
Enemy mine.
Yeah, it's so I just watched it last night.
It's funny because how far we've come in the movie industry and with effects and stuff.
But it was it was Dennis Quaid.
It was about the time we're in inner space.
Oh, yeah.
OK, so yeah, Dennis Quaid's in there.
This black alien, he's trying to shoot him and then they crash on this planet and then the alien has a baby.
But it's not his.
It's because they're like this.
I don't know.
I'm going to have to check that out.
Oh, yeah.
I was like, if that movie would come back, I would so go see it.
OK, that's my first movie.
OK.
Yeah.
And your other four.
So OK, yeah, so I also.
I would love to see there's something about Mary.
Please, that was the first movie I ever saw on VHS.
I think I was like, you know, blockbuster or Hollywood video, rent the movie, went home, watched it.
It left my ass off.
I would love to have seen it in the big screen.
Because that's one of my favorite movies.
I never saw that in the fucking big screen either.
Huh.
Yeah, I just think big screen might be a little more.
Give you that experience where you.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah, that's one of my faves.
And I was also thinking.
I would like to see blood sport.
Like, oh my God, that was when Van Damme was at his the height of his game.
And you know that you know that motherfucker can drink, right?
Yes.
Yes, motherfucker will show up at a bar with a gallon of water and fucking go toe to toe with anybody drinking.
And he just hydrates like he'll have a fucking shot of whiskey and then he drinks the chug.
He's got water.
Another.
That's my man.
I, you know, I.
That was my movie.
Yes, please.
Oh, I forgot you were in all that or whatever.
Yes.
No wonder.
OK, that makes total fucking sense.
I was like, let me see it on the big screen again, please.
Yeah, please release it.
Please, please, please.
And then I'm going down to I would totally do one of my kid memories.
I would go see Labyrinth.
Rest in peace, David Bowie.
I would go and see Labyrinth.
I would see Labyrinth.
I could not.
Everybody is like, what is wrong with you?
I couldn't get into that movie.
I'm like, OK, I got to get up and take a breather.
I was just like, I used to, I used to just tell my children when they were,
you know, fresh out of the oven, I would hold them and say, gobbling king,
gobbling king.
Far away from me.
Question.
They remade it, I believe.
Did you watch the remake?
Oh, fuck no, I don't do.
I don't do all that.
OK.
Because I'm like, I'm sure it fucking sucked ass.
Either the original or the original.
And I think my fifth.
Movie.
Please, please, please.
Let me see Katzai.
Let me get some Stephen King up in here.
Yes.
Katzai.
I want to see that.
OK, because the shining was one of mine.
That's my favorite.
Yeah, just put that.
Do you remember Katzai from Stephen King?
No.
It had like four different.
It was like four little mini movies that kind of.
But he called it Katzai.
And the and the husband wanted to stop smoking or his stop smoking.
And they were getting electrocuted.
And I don't remember that.
I'm going to check that.
I'm writing this down because I need to check that out again.
Bad and enemy.
Mine.
Yeah.
Freakin awesome.
Like, please, I would totally run to the movie theater.
If I knew any of those.
That was her plane.
OK.
Sweet.
OK, so my favorite movie.
Sweet.
OK, so my five then.
Obviously, now that you were talking about Stephen King, the shining.
Yeah.
Those twins freak me out.
And then when Shelley is that Shelley Devon when she's in the fucking bathtub and she's
always.
Is she the one that's all cut up?
Yes.
Yeah, that fucking freaked me out and just fucking going.
We can run about it.
Yeah, the red rum.
So Stephen, I'm sorry, Stephen King's the shiny is my first one then since that.
I would be there to.
And since I already saw the Godfather, I can't put that on my list anymore.
Thank God, because they re-released it last year.
Um, good fellas.
Oh, yeah.
Good fellas and casino.
And then I have to go girly on one of them, right?
So how to marry a millionaire with, um, Maryland, Maryland Manson.
I was like, I fucking rock that shit.
I believe it's Lauren Bacall.
I like that movie.
And then my fifth one would be, oh, any of the, I guess, clerks too.
Love that.
Everybody's just like, what, there's a lot of people that get mad when you say you
like, and have you seen clerks three?
I've not seen clerks three, but I, I, oh my God, I've seen clerks three and, um,
oh my God, I cried like, I don't know how long the movie is.
Like maybe it's a, it's under two hours, like maybe 90 minutes, but like 15,
20 minutes in, I start crying and I cried the entire fucking time.
Are you serious?
Oh my God.
Everybody was just like, uh, I talked to my good friend, um, oh Jay, right?
Because me and him are Jay and Jay from instead of silent Bob and Jay or something.
Yeah.
We're, we're both the Jay.
So we call each other Jay.
And he's like, was it good?
I'm like, dude, I fucking cried the entire fucking movie.
Like after 15, he's like, what the fuck?
And I'm like, I don't even fucking cry a lot, but I fucking had a lot to release
because of all the deaths and everything in 2021.
I'm like, if you feel like crying, I'm like, I don't even know if I can watch this movie
again, cause I'm going to cry all over again.
The people who have watched the movie, Pomona bullets, they all cried too.
They're like, I wasn't expecting to cry.
I'm like this, I'm like, this movie came full fucking circle.
So it clerks three.
Yeah.
And it was only in theaters for like two weeks.
And the only reason why I found out about it was because, um, M's best friend, like
posted on her Instagram story.
She's like, and the movie theater, she's like, clerks three is out for like a week
or the last week.
And I'm just like, why the fuck didn't I know about this?
Yeah.
She cried too.
She's like, there was five people in the theater, um, Medusa and all five of us,
you could hear a sobbing out loud.
And I'm just like, fuck man, I was not expecting that.
Yeah.
So, um, if you do,
What's a good cleanse?
I need that.
Yeah.
So, uh, if you need a good cleanse, I would recommend clerks three and the dialogue
is the dialogue is strong.
It's good.
And it has its funny parts or points or whatever, but, um, yeah.
So that's my five.
Nice.
And your charges are up 1410.
I know.
I just saw that.
I'm like, I'm paying attention.
Okay.
Let's go, let's go back to happy times.
Okay.
Yes.
All right.
So what's going on, I guess with you other than that.
Um, so.
Well, like.
Well, I don't know.
I've been doing it for a long time.
If I.
Mention what I'm, it's going to be, it's going into my ranch.
Okay. That's fine.
Okay.
We'll segue into ranch them.
Okay. Let's just do it.
Um,
Because.
I have to breathe on this one.
It's, I don't, I didn't understand.
How bad.
Uh, it irritates.
And gets me.
I'm like, I'm like, this is the best thing I've ever done.
I've ever done.
I've ever done this cycle back.
Right.
I don't know. So my rant is.
I can't.
I've come to the conclusion that I cannot stand.
To be around people who state the obvious.
Um,
Give me an example.
Example.
Number one.
I'm coming into the grocery store.
It's fucking pouring rain.
So I'm like, I'm going to get my car.
I'm going to get my car.
And somebody comes in behind me.
That's why it's raining.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Or.
And I know they're trying to be nice, but it's like,
Can you just stop stating the obvious.
To stop when it's hot outside.
Everybody doesn't.
Have a C.
Where I live.
I do.
I'm like, I'm going to get my car.
I'm going to get my car.
But you know,
You know,
better.
People are just like,
What are you doing?
Because it's so hot outside.
Well, I'm not outside.
And that's obvious.
It's fucking 100 degrees outside.
You know,
the state, the obvious.
Or they say,
Oh my gosh.
Does that hurt?
There's a pimple.
Of course it fucking hurts.
It looks like a fucking third head on my face.
It's like,
This is the point where you're like,
I don't know how to get my car out.
I don't know how to get it out.
And I go,
I'm like,
Oh,
Just throw a punch to your,
And you,
Yeah.
Exactly.
Not.
Oh, everybody be careful.
It's snowing outside.
Be careful driving because it's,
it's stopped staying the obvious.
I don't know.
It's just, I get really grumpy.
Like why.
Who are these people?
Who just keep stating the obvious.
I bring my own water to work.
I don't fucking use the sparklets or the arrowhead,
whatever the fuck we have.
I bring my own alkaline water that I filtrate at home,
blah, blah, blah.
We ran out of water for the last week
because we didn't pay our bill, I guess.
I don't know.
I don't give a fuck.
I bring my water.
So by day four, all the linemen come in.
They're like, oh, there's no water?
And I just look at them.
I have my giant headphones on.
And I just go like, you know,
you put your, you shrug your shoulders on them.
You shrug your shoulders on them.
Yeah, I don't know what to fucking tell you, bro.
I don't fucking pay the bills here.
I show up and I get paid.
So as long as my paycheck doesn't bounce
or direct deposit, I'm good.
So they're all complaining.
And I was just like, I don't know what to tell you.
I really don't know what to tell you.
Yeah, bring your own fucking water.
Drink your coffee at home.
I don't know, because they're like, we can't make coffee.
I'm like, well, this is day three of no water maybe.
And I don't say anything but in my head
because that was starting a conversation.
And I don't fucking fucking say shit.
And I'm just like, well, we're on day three
of no water here.
So perhaps maybe you should stop on the way in
to get your coffee if you can't make it at home, bitch.
Like, I don't know what you want me to do.
I get the same at work.
All the guys in the night crew that clock out
when I'm clocking in.
So they work, midnight to seven, eight, whatever.
And they go to the refrigerator.
They're like, there's no water.
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Like, no, there's not.
Where's the fucking water?
Do you see water?
There's no fucking water.
I don't know.
Go get a fucking bottle or case of fucking water.
Or go to aisle 11 and get the fucking hose and hook it up
to the fucking faucet, bitch.
And fucking go to town.
Or this one guy, I put water in there
because my boss tells me you can grab the cases
of the bottled waters.
And I have to scan it with my phone so it goes.
Right, right, right, right.
Store, whatever.
And I put it before the employer, whatever.
And I just put a case of fucking water bottles
in the little mini and these people come open up the fridge
to grab one of their like,
were these just put in?
Is it fucking warm?
Then yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, they've been in there for a week.
Yeah, you know what?
Next time, don't even just like leave them outside
so that you don't have to deal with that shit.
It's like, are you fucking don't I hate?
Yeah, Captain Obvious.
Like, I will fucking punch you in the throat.
Like, I cannot.
I don't know, maybe I'm just being a grump.
No, you're not being a grump.
And so this is not my rant either,
but last week was a fucking week at work.
Our fucking printer is fucking retarded, right?
So I think it was by Wednesday,
I'm fucking so fucking pissed out.
Like just fuck, my thing is this,
everybody know this is how I'm like print comma bitch period.
So I'm like print bitch.
And this thing does not fucking print
the way it's supposed to print.
No, maybe half the time.
So it's a fucking coin toss.
So I get so fucking pissed and they're like,
yeah fucking Sergio, Sergio's like,
yo, yo, yo, why are you getting mad?
It's a fucking machine.
It can't fucking fix itself.
Like just chill.
And then fucking aging the general manager,
he's like, yo Medusa, he's like, get Medusa a bat.
Like she's gonna beat this thing up so it no longer works.
And I'm like, I'm not gonna get a bat.
I'm gonna go home with, I'm gonna come back with my 1911.
I'm gonna fucking light it up.
And when I light it up,
now it's permanently broken.
We can get a new fucking printer.
I tried to get a new printer.
Because I had to scan each page.
God forbid I need to put three pages and scan them.
It doesn't go through the feeder.
They get stuck and it's like.
And then I have to open that shit up.
And I'm like, fuck this shit.
God damn it.
The fucking my work you would give me the tools I need to succeed.
Exactly.
Right.
So like one of the fucking project managers,
because so your printer sounds like mine.
It's an MFD, a multifunction device.
So like you feed every time with my fucking.
When I scan the shit, I have the time it scans.
And then like, if you have like the smaller pieces of paper,
you can't fucking like it doesn't go into the auto feeder.
So you have to put it on the glass, right?
So I always do that last because if you do it first
and then you try to scan like the regular size pieces of paper.
Yes.
The the arrow will come up saying like you didn't remove.
You didn't remove the piece of paper from the glass.
So fucking work.
He's like, what the fuck?
He's like, I already fucking removed it.
And I'm like, dude, just turn it off and turn it back on.
He's like the printer.
I'm like, yeah, I'm like, it's going to take five minutes
to boot up.
But other than that, you're going to keep
getting that stupid fucking error because this printer is
fucking lame.
Yes.
Can we not have can we get some?
Shit, man.
I'll take dot matrix any fucking day.
And that's in dot matrix 1980.
Let's go, bitch.
Let's do this.
OK, so my rent.
Are you done with rent?
I'm sorry. I'm done with my rent.
Yeah. My blood pressure is scorching now that you brought up.
You just fucking brought work back up.
I'm like, oh.
And I love my job.
My job is a little.
I love my job.
Last week was not a cakewalk for me.
And I'm just like, dude, I'm fucking tired.
Like leave me the fuck alone.
So my rent is this.
Now I'm sure, well, you know, but if whoever's listening,
our podcast now is available on several streaming podcast
platforms. Yay.
It's finally available.
However, apples, apples, Apple iTunes.
I had the hardest time trying to figure out how to get it
uploaded on Apple, right?
So I finally figure it out.
And why does iTunes want my credit card information?
Yeah. So I'm like, you know what?
Fuck you, Apple.
I don't need to give you my credit card information
just so I can upload our podcast.
So you got Apple can go get fucked.
It's available on all the other platforms.
They're going to want you to push that.
I agree to continue.
But you read that.
And then they're going to say, yeah, we're going to charge you
a hundred bucks.
I was just like, fuck you, whoever the new Steve Jobs is.
I don't need to do that.
And I don't purchase anything from iTunes.
And I'm a Spotify girl, even though I have an iPhone.
I'm still Spotify.
So go get fucked, Apple.
That's my rent.
Yeah.
Sorry. Love it.
Love it.
Did you undo trash and cash things?
I did.
Sweet.
And all right, you go first and then I'll do mine.
Well, I don't think I'm going to do my first swank
because I have the answer.
But no, wow, I was going to say.
I phone.
OK, so let's just be clear.
We're going to just I'm just we give two.
Two things, whether you like them both,
you have to trash one.
OK, whether you hate them both, you have to cash one.
Just saying.
So I was going to say iPhone or Samsung.
OK, well, it depends on what you need to use it for.
So can I give options or it's just all across the board?
Hey, what if you were going to be on a deserted island
and and you could have an iPhone or a Samsung?
OK, does that's the island?
Yeah, deserted island cash money all day long for iPhone.
And then trash for Android.
Oh, yeah.
And you know what? I I agree.
I never had an Android, Samsung, Google phone.
I've always had iPhones, but just what it allows you to do with.
Exactly.
It's kind of like I guess I would have to cash money.
Yeah, no, the functionality of the iPhone sucks.
Like you can't close out all your apps at once for starters.
That pisses me the fuck off.
Yeah, you gotta swipe up Android.
You can press the button and you can close out all apps
and everything is like off your fucking phone and you can start over.
Let's start there. OK.
But when it comes to, I guess, sharing files or videos.
And then if you're collaborating with somebody like me and you
or with the photographers I work with and then my writing,
it's easier on iPhone with the files.
The file transfer, the airdrop, whatever the fuck.
Yes. Yeah.
All of that.
So that the functionality sucks on an iPhone,
but the features is the real winner.
Yes. OK.
So what do you got?
Oh, do you have more traffic? Oh, yeah, I have more.
OK. Oh, OK.
We want to go back and forth or you want to go back and forth.
OK, so do you know what a Steno notepad is?
Yes. OK. So like, you know, it flips up.
Yes. OK.
So notepad, the standard college notepad,
which is eight and a half by 11 or Steno notepad,
which your trash and cash?
I would say, oh, geez,
the eight and a half by 11 is going to be my cash.
OK. I.
I know what it is. I don't use it.
I know my daughter does. Right.
So just kind of going off of that,
I'm going to cash that one and trash the other.
What about the Steno?
Oh, I'm a Steno notepad girl all day long.
I fucking carry.
I have a subscription with Amazon.
It's an eight pack. You get an eight pack and I don't.
I get the. Oh, so I'll piggyback off of this.
OK, so your cash money is the standard notepad.
Your trash is Steno. I'm the opposite.
Or I don't I don't even know if I'm pronouncing it correctly.
Maybe it's Steno notepad, S T E N O.
Steno notepad. That's my cash money all day long.
I carry those with me everywhere, including in my handbag.
Yeah. And then I have them everywhere,
but the notepads are trash to me.
But OK, so piggybacking or ducktailing off of that.
Are you college college ruled or wide ruled
when it comes to the lines?
Do you know what I'm talking about?
My my penmanship tends to be a little bit big.
So I do like college.
Wide ruled, wide ruled.
Well, like, yeah, but as an adult now,
I use college because there's more lines and I just kind of skip.
Couple lines. OK, got it.
Yeah, so I would have to say cash for college and cash for why I'm glad
we agree on college ruled. OK.
College ruled all day for me.
OK, I have that little Asian little writing.
That's so pretty, you know.
OK, so I have so many.
OK, so I'm going to go.
To this one. OK.
OK, it's guns and roses of red hot chili peppers.
Now, listen, oh, dear God, those are two different things,
but red hot chili peppers all day long.
Thank you. And roses.
Boom. OK, you had to be.
Yeah, I do like guns and roses.
I do not like guns and roses.
They are fucking gay.
Well, I need to bleep that out.
Is somebody angry that I said they're fucking gay?
No, that just means, well, if anybody follows us,
if this is their first episode they're listening to, just please just please
bring it up, refrain from it because we love everybody.
But I don't.
I mean, people.
Yeah, we just hate people.
OK, all right.
I was just saying if I was going to be on an island stuck and someone said
you could only listen to all the albums of this person or that person or band, band.
I'm going for red hot chili peppers.
Anthony Kitas. Yes.
I never like everybody always wanted to fuck him or I guess any of the band.
I didn't think any of them were hot.
I was just like, I don't want to fuck any of them.
I just like their music.
Is that what you didn't like Anthony Kitas under the bridge downtown?
His hair was long.
And no, he was.
That's no, that's not kind of look like heroin out.
Yeah, no, that's just not my fucking type at all.
His music, their music all day long.
Just no, yeah, not my type.
Yeah, it's really hard to say.
OK, go ahead.
So speaking of you did ban.
So I actually did TV because like old school TV, I can watch all day long.
OK, so cheers are Seinfeld.
Oh, cheers is my cash.
I do.
I know.
But I have to choose.
Cheers. I have to give the cash to cheer.
That's right, because me and you like to sit up bars and do our thing.
And I was just like, she would choose cheers just like I would.
I do love some Seinfeld.
I do too.
But like I can't watch that on a loop the way I can watch cheers on a loop.
Yeah, for sure. OK.
So I'm going to say, OK, so this is going to be it's kind of a little bit
of a complex, not too bad.
But you know, when you buy, well,
you can buy an album or download an album of whatever.
You know how sometimes they have live versions.
You're not at the concert.
OK, right.
But they have a live version.
Do you what is cash?
What is trash?
The studio recorded version or the live version?
It depends on the artist.
Is that allowed?
Like Marilyn Manson's last tour on earth, fucking phenomenal phenomenon.
Yeah, fucking phenomenal.
It felt like I was at the concert and then like there's stuff like I think
I listen to like Korn's there was a album of Korn's that's live.
And I was just like, that's because I've seen Korn live.
And I'm just like, no, this fucking CD sucks.
Yeah.
But when you get that song,
it sucks, yeah, but when you get that CD and it's a live version,
you know, you're not at the concert because don't get me wrong.
Live music wins at all.
But yes. But would you prefer when you like a song from an artist?
Oh, God, the studio version or that one live version that they say,
oh, you get the live version?
I would say studio just because.
I don't know.
Even know why I would say studio, but it's just better without everybody
carrying in the back or singing the lyrics.
I'm like, you know what?
I was just like, I want to hear the artist.
I actually want to hear the the instruments and the artists.
I don't want to hear everybody singing along with this bullshit.
Yeah. Yeah.
And it's like, especially if it was at a concert that I was an apple.
I don't know.
That's not a bonus for me.
So that's trash.
I'll pick the studio version.
OK, I'm glad we agree on that.
Now. All right.
Cheezus, White Cheddar or Tabasco?
Hmm. Never had it.
Oh, my. Exactly.
That's where I'm going with this, because I might want to have White Cheddar.
And I'm like, you guys need everybody's always has been addicted to White Cheddar
Cheezus. And I'm like, if you like hot, spicy food or Tabasco,
like you got to get the Tabasco or the hot Cheezus.
It's with the Tabasco.
Oh, my God, that shit is heaven.
So you need to check that out.
So I guess my cash money would be Tabasco.
Cheezus.
Yeah. Well, I fuck the White Cheddar, so I'm a rat.
I haven't even tried that.
Tabasco ones never knew it was on the market.
I'm going to cash that.
I'm going to put my money on that.
Well, you know what?
It's been like 10 years since I've had them, but I'm sure they're still available.
So I'll look it up on Amazon.
I got the fucking TV on mute and they just showed a Chili's commercial.
I'm like, I really want the fajitas. Yeah.
I know it always looks so good.
That looks so fucking good.
All right.
Do you have any more? Yeah.
OK, so we may, like I said, we may hate both.
We may love both, but we're going to cash or trash.
Fake lashes or Botox lips. Oh, God, trash for both.
I know.
And that's so funny.
That's so funny.
You want that way because are you doing trash for both too?
I don't like neither.
But if you had to, if you have to give one the cash, I guess fake eyelashes.
But have you ever had fake eyelashes on before?
No, I will.
Maybe when I was in high school and I went to prom, I put the little girl.
Why do they feel so heavy on my eyelids?
I wore it once they were so heavy and I'm like, I'm so sleepy.
Like my little itching eyes can't take this.
I'm like, I don't know how these bitches fucking can wear fake eyelashes all day long.
I'm like that would just make my eyelids like I just want to go to sleep.
The one time I had them on, I'm like, these I'm never doing this again.
You know, sometimes when I go to sleep after a night at the bar or night out,
I have my makeup on and there's times
I typically I typically wash my face and whatever, go to bed.
I don't want makeup on my pillows, whatever.
Right. But there's times when I'm just like, I can't believe I made it to my fucking bed.
And I.
And I wake up and my fucking hands are so black because I.
He rubbed my eyes.
I don't fucking know.
I look like a goddamn raccoon and my fucking you know,
it's hilarious now.
I'm like, I don't wear eyeliner that much anymore because I work from six to two
thirty, so I don't even put makeup on when I go to work.
I look like I'm fucking half asleep.
But like on the weekends or if I go out like now, I just put my eyeliner on
and I fucking hate scrubbing the mascara off because mascara is a pain in the ass.
Yes.
Half the time, I don't even have mascara on unless I know I'm going to be taking
pictures, I guess, or I'm going to be out with everybody.
And that's fucking rare.
But if I'm just going to go to hang out at your house or like when me and Tina
went for a slumber party, I just put eyeliner on.
I'm like, I am not putting mascara on and wait for fucking raccoon eyes.
And I'm still and still have mascara on my fucking eyelashes.
Fuck, man.
Fuck that.
Yeah.
And I have little hair lips.
That's fine.
But I don't.
I don't.
Yeah, I'm going to trash the fucking Botox lips.
Right.
Right out of here.
OK, so.
So now you said like how we would probably trash both.
So here's my my last one is jumpsuits or rompers.
I like rompers.
I'm going to I but because I own a couple.
OK, jumpsuits.
That's fine. Yes, I'm just curious for sure.
OK, if I'm going to have to like hazmat shit, I want to fucking.
OK, I have to trash both and I tell my reasoning is this,
I've had a jumpsuit or I guess a romper before one of the two
and I went drinking.
So let me fucking tell you this.
When you fucking drink like 12 to 15 fucking bears
and you're just fucking going balls deep with fucking beer,
you have to go to the bathroom and let me fucking tell you,
it's a pain in the ass to fucking unbutton the fucking buttons.
So ever since then, I'm like, jumpsuits and rompers fucking suck.
They're both fucking trash.
Yes, they're not user friendly when you need to use the bathroom,
whether you've been drinking all day or not.
Gosh, I'm going to fucking legit say this.
I had a little romper that I got from Old Navy.
And it was it was short.
So.
You have to put that on like.
And over.
So it's if you have to go to the bathroom,
guess what you have to do?
Take out your arms and yes, it's a pain in the ass.
Yeah. And I was like, you really have to fucking pee or right.
I saw the dump in the fucking shit.
It's the side. I was like, I can never wear this shit again.
Ever again. It looks.
And ladies, if you have a Fupa fat upper pussy area,
do not wear either.
It is not flattering at all.
I don't care what you think.
Don't wear them.
Don't.
We don't see that shit.
We don't.
Nobody wants to do that.
It's not even just us.
Nobody does.
OK, well, I guess we can wrap things up unless you got other stuff on your
docket. No, no, I think pretty much covered at all.
All right, guys, well, we see you next week then.
Yes, we will.
All right.
Bye.