1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,240 What's your name bitch? 2 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:09,240 Pomona bullets. 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,400 And I think I'm broke with this at least. 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,560 Yeah, why not? 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,880 This is Top Shelf High Jinks and we about to be stupid. 6 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,840 Yeah, yeah. 7 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:26,000 Good day, bitch. 8 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,440 How it do. 9 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:31,400 It is weird here in SoCal. 10 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:37,040 It was 102 on Monday and then it cooled off a little bit. 11 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:41,160 And by it cooled off, I meant on Tuesday was 10 fucking one. 12 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,160 What? 13 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:43,880 Wednesday was 95. 14 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,120 Thursday was like, I want to say 85. 15 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:51,120 Friday rolls around in straight fucking rain, 76 degrees. 16 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,960 And there was mosquitoes everywhere at the fucking park. 17 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,160 I have like 12 bugs. 18 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,600 I have 12 mosquito bites on my fucking legs 19 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:01,160 because I was walking the fucking dog. 20 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,040 Is it like human Florida? 21 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,680 Yes, it's fucking Florida, bitch. 22 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:07,840 Yuck. 23 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,120 Yeah. 24 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,360 So whatever, it's overcast today. 25 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:15,240 At least it's not 100 degrees, but the mosquitoes are out and about 26 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,760 and they're mingling on my fucking legs. 27 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,000 Yeah, fuck. 28 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:23,920 Don't forget your SPF shit because even though the clouds might 29 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,840 be hiding that hot sun. 30 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,240 Still can burn. 31 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,280 Oh, thanks, Dr. Bullets. 32 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,840 You're welcome. 33 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,760 I don't know. 34 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:35,960 Dr. Phil said that. 35 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:36,960 Just kidding. 36 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:41,520 I'm just kidding. 37 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:42,840 I haven't fucking watched Dr. Phil. 38 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:43,840 Happy Sunday, bitch. 39 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,040 Happy Motherfucking Sunday, my one fucking day off. 40 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:47,880 And then I'm back. 41 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,320 Well, you get three days off next week, which is good. 42 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,720 You do a Thursday off and then the weekend. 43 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,440 And it's just like that one fucking Friday. 44 00:01:56,440 --> 00:02:00,240 Please, can I just have four days off? 45 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,760 It's like you get a day off, then you go to work and you get two days off. 46 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,840 It's just ridiculous, but I'll take it. 47 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:11,240 Do what you can. 48 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,240 Just suck it up till you find a new job. 49 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,280 Yeah, I'll just suck it up till I find a sugar daddy. 50 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,840 There you go. 51 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,440 Shit. 52 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,880 All right, I just took my first sip of Don Julio 70. 53 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,400 And I also have Bombay Sapphire because I'm trying to get rid of it 54 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,720 with the sparkling ice, whatever flavor. 55 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:32,720 I wish I was there. 56 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,280 That bottle would have been gone. 57 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,080 I haven't had that. 58 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,200 I haven't had the luxury to get. 59 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,360 Well, I could, I guess. 60 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,600 But yeah, I'm just doing some screwdrivers today. 61 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,880 Oh, nice. 62 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,720 Nice, nice, nice. 63 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:54,680 And some little tropical canna. OK. 64 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:58,240 And what's up with the rusty tin can situation? 65 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,640 The rusty tin can. 66 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:05,680 I don't want to get no fucking TV or staff infection from that. 67 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:06,720 No shit. 68 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,520 I got my tetanus shot and. 69 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,880 Tetanus shot. Yeah. 70 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,720 Whatever the fuck it's called. 71 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,720 It's still gently. 72 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,880 It's still rolling down the curb. 73 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,080 So that's great. 74 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,600 Or the street, the street, not the curb. 75 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,720 So it's not completely gone? 76 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,800 Um, well, pretty much I'm still kicking it. 77 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,320 So. 78 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,040 OK, well, that's good. Yeah. 79 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,240 Yeah. All right. 80 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,800 So you have topics for today. 81 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,720 I have one topic as well, but you can go ahead and get started. 82 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,000 Well, so this is a thing. 83 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,680 I kind of went down a little bit of a rabbit hole. 84 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:46,240 And reason being I had a co-worker. 85 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,360 Well, I have a bunch of co-workers and they think I'm HR 86 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:50,960 and they just try to be my friend. 87 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,560 They think I'm just going to magically correct 88 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,000 their time cards or whatnot. 89 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,240 And that's really not the case. 90 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,680 But I like to let them think that I could do that for them. 91 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,840 OK. And so they try to just talk to me. 92 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:07,800 How was your weekend? 93 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,600 How was your day? 94 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,520 How about TGIF and all this crap? 95 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,160 And they're just fake. 96 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,560 They're fake and it's good. 97 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:19,080 I don't care. It's it's a game. 98 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,320 And I like to play it. 99 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,360 And I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll play it. 100 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,160 Well, yeah, I play a little bitch. 101 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:31,880 And so this one gal, she comes up to me and younger, of course. 102 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,320 I would say maybe. 103 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,360 Early 20s or whatnot. 104 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,680 And she's she brings up the most random, 105 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,360 random fucking question and conversation. 106 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,560 And it's just you and her. 107 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,280 Yeah, she just because nobody's allowed in my office. 108 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:51,400 And so I had this little line where it's like, hey, step behind the line. 109 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,960 You know, you can't come in. 110 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,880 I'm a confidential employee. 111 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,040 I know all your guys is dirt. 112 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:03,240 I know skeletons hanging in your closet. 113 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,400 I give them names. 114 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,080 So it's all good. 115 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:10,480 Like you can't you can't be in my office, but you can talk to me 116 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:14,000 because my office is like I said, it's like a prison cell. 117 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,840 It's all cement and just gross. 118 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:18,920 And sometimes it gets a little hot in there. 119 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,120 So I have to fucking keep the door open because I need some fucking air. 120 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:26,600 And OK, so she comes up to me and she's like, oh, how is your weekend? 121 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,400 Blah, blah, blah. 122 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:32,880 And I I try to be nice, but I cut I cut people off just like, oh, you know, 123 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:33,880 they I hope you have. 124 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,040 I'm sorry I'm busy right now. 125 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,120 But is there anything else I can help you with? 126 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,440 OK, well, bye. 127 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:43,240 And whatever open door policy doesn't mean come fucking talk to me. 128 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,960 And so she tells me. 129 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:52,080 Question. 130 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:55,760 If you were to have a horrible death, 131 00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:00,320 would you rather drown or be burned? 132 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,720 And I was like, what the fuck is this? 133 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,960 I was like, I'm sorry, I'm busy. 134 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:12,040 I'm you know, you can ask your your co-workers or your friends and family that question. 135 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,320 And so I go to the customer's bed on the sales floor. 136 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,760 What the fuck are you talking about? 137 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,440 You stupid fucking bitch. 138 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:24,560 But she planted the seed and I was like, well, I would fucking rather drown. 139 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:27,480 I don't want to be easy. 140 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,440 No, that would be more serene to me. 141 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,280 I'm like, fuck it. Let me just give into this. 142 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,040 And I'm going to inhale the water and out peacefully. 143 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,440 Exactly. You just. 144 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,960 I mean, I'm not a fucking witch. 145 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,960 That's not the feeling of witchcraft. 146 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,760 And you. So where did I live off? 147 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,160 Yeah, fuck that bitch. 148 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,080 Yeah, exactly. Yeah. 149 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,760 Why are you going to ask some fucking random question like that? 150 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,080 Yeah, really weird. 151 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,920 Sounds like a millennial question. 152 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,480 I don't know. Anyhow. 153 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,160 So what did you tell her? 154 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,400 Well, I didn't answer her. 155 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,040 I was like, oh, OK. 156 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,360 No, I was like, I'm sorry, you can go and ask your 157 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,480 friends and family that. 158 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:04,960 But I have work to do. 159 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,920 You know, we don't talk like this on company time. 160 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,360 Oh, you're such a mega Karen. 161 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,720 Excuse me. I know. 162 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:13,560 I have to be. 163 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,280 And it's kind of fun pretending to be a Karen 164 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,840 because that's not my personality at all. 165 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,160 But I could totally pretend to be one like. 166 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,120 I like it. 167 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,320 Hate is going to hate, you know, just hate me. 168 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:30,800 You're you know what? 169 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,680 So now you're actually not serving cunt. 170 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,400 You know how I told you serving cunt is the new, I guess, 171 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,600 the new slang for we're fucking cool. 172 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,400 Yeah. Now you're just a fucking cunt. 173 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,680 Yeah. You know what? 174 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:46,200 I I I need a badge like seriously, that's it's all good. 175 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,000 I'll take it. 176 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,080 So good all day long. 177 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,080 All day long. 178 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:57,400 So yeah, I just kind of just like shish, off now. 179 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,400 Go go tend to your duties. 180 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,600 And then did she leave you alone after that? 181 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,960 Or is she dead with another question? 182 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,320 Now she she left me alone. 183 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,280 I closed my door, but she planted that seed. 184 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:14,640 And like like an idiot because I'm not a fucking Karen. 185 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,320 I am a cunt, but I'm just like, you know, I just started thinking, 186 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,280 like, you know, that is an interesting question. 187 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,400 But maybe awful company time. 188 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:28,680 Right. But I did think and I was like, oh, you know, I rather I would rather 189 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,480 drown, I would rather. 190 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,720 I would rather drown, too. 191 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,840 Like I said, it would be more peaceful and serene and you're just able 192 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:39,000 to surrender as opposed to being fucking tortured by fucking fire. 193 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,160 Yeah, you're going to. 194 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:44,360 Fuck and share your fucking skin sizzling and shit. 195 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,680 Like, no, I don't want to die in a fire. 196 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:52,920 I mean, if I die in a fire, I hope to be suffocated by the smoke before the flames. 197 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,520 Like, just take me out. 198 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:55,560 Oh, you even took it. 199 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,280 OK. Yeah. You know what? 200 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,840 I like you. You're real fucking smart. 201 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,520 I don't even think about the fucking smoke. 202 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,840 That's like when I used to work in Irvine, this fucking he was H.R. 203 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,240 And he was sick in the head like me. 204 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:12,520 So he was like, Medusa, if you if you had it, if it was a life or death 205 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:17,680 situation and you had to only save one person, would it be your dog or your daughter? 206 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,080 And I'm like, it would be my daughter. 207 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,000 He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? 208 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,120 And I'm like, if I say my daughter, she can say my fucking dog. 209 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,640 If I say my dog, my dog cannot say my fucking daughter, you dumb fuck. 210 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,440 Come on, dude. Come and sit. 211 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,760 Clearly he has no pets and he has no fucking kids. 212 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,160 So I'm like, you're a dumb fucking cunt. 213 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,760 I can't believe you would let your dog die. 214 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,160 And I'm like, you're not getting the fucking point. 215 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,000 I would save my daughter and my daughter would save the fucking dog. 216 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,160 Girl, I could eat either one. 217 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,200 Oh, shit. 218 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,320 Fuck, I know. 219 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,320 And it's just like, is this like a new thing? 220 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:07,000 People are asking these like or millennials asking these fucking questions to us. 221 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,600 What do we know? 222 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,640 The Gen Xers. 223 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,200 Yeah, because I thought we were baby boomers. 224 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,600 We're not. Thank God. 225 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,480 So I mean, I don't I don't know if they're getting a kick out of it. 226 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,160 I don't know if this is an icebreaker type of question. 227 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,000 I don't fucking know. 228 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,680 This is not communication to me. 229 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,520 When I meet somebody, I shake their hand. 230 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,920 I'm like, my name is a lot of bullets. 231 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:31,360 Like I don't even like shaking hands anymore because, you know what? 232 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,280 I saw a fucking meme like when I was working at Long Beach and it's so fucking true. 233 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,400 They're like, when you shake somebody's hand, 90, what did it say? 234 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,080 It said something like 95 percent of that 235 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,240 or 90 for 95 percent of the people you shake hands with 236 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,640 has either had their dick in their hand or somebody else's dick in their hand 237 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,280 and they haven't washed their hands. 238 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:53,640 And I'm like, bitch, what the fuck? 239 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,120 I don't want to shake no more hands. 240 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,080 And this is before covid in the lockdown. 241 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,040 Right. So fucking accurate. 242 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,840 And there's the whole thing like you gave me a what is it? 243 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,280 A cold fish, a dead fish or like a handshake? 244 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,120 You're just like a little dainty hand. 245 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,280 Like just just don't touch me. 246 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:12,200 Let's just we got this bump if you want. 247 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,760 I don't I don't fucking know. 248 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,360 I don't even know if that's appropriate, but you know, what was it? 249 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:18,200 Are you doing elbows? 250 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,720 You know, elbow bumps, long beach. 251 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,560 He used to do the elbow thing and I'm like, that's what I should start doing 252 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,560 or just not doing that at all. Yeah. 253 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,320 Just how about just, hey, what's up? 254 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,000 How about how about just the chin check type? 255 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,400 Like a throat punch? 256 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:35,360 No. And then you just throw a throat punch. 257 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,920 OK, so let me give you a word of advice when it comes to people in your office 258 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,600 because I had to deal with that all the time, too. 259 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,640 When I was in Long Beach, when I would work in the lower level, 260 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,640 I was sitting next to the coffee machine. 261 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,840 So my supervisor, he worked. 262 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,000 He didn't work in the lower level. 263 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:51,960 So I was in the basement. 264 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:54,320 He was up whatever floor, I think was the 12th floor. 265 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,720 Anyways, I'm like, this is what I do now because I figured it out. 266 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:01,360 I'm like, when people would fucking like just get their fucking mouth off. 267 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,720 I didn't want it. I didn't want to talk to them. 268 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,960 I would get up out of my seat and they would have so they're facing me, right? 269 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:12,440 So I would get I would get up out of my seat and act like I'm walking to the door 270 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,920 because I need to fucking leave. 271 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:19,280 So they're so they would they're walking backwards as I'm walking in their face, right? 272 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:23,000 Yeah. And then and then they would forget what they're fucking talking about 273 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,240 because they're thinking I'm leaving and then they just fucking leave. 274 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,480 So I'm like, I nailed that down real fucking quick. 275 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,160 But I do the whole spiel the same way. 276 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,720 What I do is I grab my keys and I can go. 277 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:35,840 I didn't even do that. 278 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:40,160 I grab my keys and I get up, I grab my keys and I go, oh, shit. 279 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,720 And I and I push my computer, but I'm not doing shit. 280 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:47,680 Yeah, and I grab my keys and I go, oh, OK, I'm sorry. 281 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,560 And I just boof. And I and I just and they get up and leave. 282 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,120 Yeah, and they leave. And then when they leave, I don't even leave. 283 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,280 I just fucking reverse. 284 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,240 Right back. Yeah. 285 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,200 So all right, you got that down. 286 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,480 Yeah, I'm just like, you know, I I'm a I hate people. 287 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,080 So I can I can. 288 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,040 That's why I fucking love you. I hate people too. 289 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,200 I'm just like, just get the fuck on. 290 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,880 And so. But the bitch, honestly. 291 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,400 I'm going to call her a bitch because I don't even really know her name. 292 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,880 So yeah, I don't know. 293 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,000 Bitch, it is. Bitch, it is. 294 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:22,880 And but she did plant the little seed and then I actually came home from work 295 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,040 and I was thinking to myself, well, 296 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,080 how many near death experiences have I had? 297 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:35,120 And and it all stemmed and I was just going down this little rabbit hole. 298 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,400 And I'm like, oh, shit. 299 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,520 OK, so I'm just going to ask you a question. 300 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:46,560 OK, have you ever choked on food where you needed like, yes. 301 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:48,800 And I have the best story. 302 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,960 OK, please, please tell. 303 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,160 I was in great grade. 304 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,200 I call it grade school. 305 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,240 I guess it's elementary. 306 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,400 So I had one of those pepper, those round peppermint candies in my mouth. 307 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:00,960 Oh, yeah, I'm sucking on it. 308 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:04,680 And I decided I'm like, oh, I'm thirsty because I'm a fucking stupid idiot. 309 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:10,000 So I started drinking Coca-Cola from the from the actual bottle, right? 310 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:15,000 Like, yeah. So when I'm drinking it, I start fucking choking. 311 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,680 And I fucking make it to my dad. 312 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:20,520 I'm motion to my dad. I'm like, dad, I'm fucking choking. 313 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,320 He's like, open your mouth. 314 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,640 And he looks, he's like, I don't think nothing here. Throw it. You're fine. 315 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,360 I'm like, fuck. 316 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,120 Just go down the track. 317 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,040 Yeah, I was not going to fucking save me for shit. 318 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,200 I don't know. I guess it finally went down or maybe I guess I swallowed. 319 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,960 You like your throat's fine. 320 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,560 I'm such an asshole. 321 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,160 What happened? Did it just go down? 322 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,640 I guess I did. I didn't spit it up. 323 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,640 I don't know. 324 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,080 They don't call me deep throat, Medusa for nothing. 325 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:05,000 I fucking told him and was just like, that's something Papa would totally fucking do. 326 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,160 Like, you're fine. Stop it. Stop crying. 327 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,360 Yeah. That's what my dad would tell me. Stop crying. 328 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,200 Yeah. That's my dad. 329 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:17,480 And the funny stuff is like I was thinking back and like, OK, my first 330 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:23,960 what I felt was my near death experience was when I was a kid as well. 331 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,000 I was eating a motherfucking apricot. 332 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:28,960 Oh, no, not apricot. 333 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:32,960 It was a peach because I had a bigger pit and. Oh, no. 334 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:33,960 Yes. 335 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,160 I think I was like, I don't know, six or seven. 336 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:42,160 And I was a scrawny, skinny, little islander kid. 337 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,760 And you still are, by the way. 338 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:46,720 Well, thank you. 339 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,440 I thought I had tiny wrists, girl. 340 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,600 Your wrists are toothpicks. I'm like, shit. 341 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:54,200 Yeah. But I look like a must motherfucking Mrs. 342 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:58,760 Potato Head, like my whole like core is just fucking fat. 343 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,680 And it's like toothpicks sticking out. 344 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,880 I'm in tears over here. 345 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,720 I'm going to do more squats. 346 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,360 I'll tell you that and sit ups. 347 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:14,120 But anyways, so I put this fucking apricot pit in my mouth 348 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,920 and I'm trying to get all the little fibers of the fruit off. 349 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:21,040 And I'm just, you know, and I'm a stupid dumb ass kid. 350 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,120 And it gets lodged in my throat. 351 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:29,360 And of course, I don't go running with the universal 352 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,600 sign of two hands on my throat like I'm choking because my dad 353 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,200 would probably kick me in the ass and say, I'm OK. 354 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,640 And I didn't want to get in trouble. 355 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,720 And I was trying to get it up. 356 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,320 It wouldn't come up. 357 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,640 I was trying to get it like swallow it. 358 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,080 And oh, shit. 359 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,360 It was just lodged and I couldn't breathe. 360 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,360 And I was like, oh, so I just. 361 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,080 It just went down my trachea. 362 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:55,760 I just went down. 363 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:59,800 It felt like it was lodged in my fucking chest for a while. 364 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,800 And I was like, well, it was. 365 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,000 That's a fucking big pain. 366 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,480 I know. And for a little fucking Islander girl, yeah, it was. 367 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:07,360 I was like, oh, shit. 368 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,600 And I was like, well, I don't know how it's going to come out. 369 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,720 But then it is whatever. 370 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,640 At least I'm not going to be in trouble. 371 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,160 And it hurt. 372 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,160 Like it. 373 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,240 Well, your dad would have fibbed you. 374 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,800 My dad was just like, suck it up. 375 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,400 Yeah. My dad would have been like, wow, you're still alive. 376 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:23,640 And then I. 377 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,480 So yeah, that was the first. 378 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:26,560 And I really. 379 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,600 I was turning blue. 380 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:32,640 I remember running to my little vanity and looking at myself in the mirror. 381 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,880 And I was like, I'm I'm I'm dying. 382 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,440 I'm going to be dead. 383 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:40,680 And I was just going to lay in my bed and just just be dead. 384 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,520 Like this, I just wanted them to find me like fucking snow white, you know, 385 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,680 just, you know, she ate the apple and poison apple. 386 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:48,960 I just I don't know. 387 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,200 I was just it was it was very terrifying. 388 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,360 That was terrifying first near death experience. 389 00:17:55,280 --> 00:18:00,360 And then I almost drowned and then I jumped off a roof. 390 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,640 Oh, my God. 391 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,560 You jumped off a fucking roof. 392 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:05,640 Yeah, and to a pool. 393 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:06,920 And to a pool, I hope. 394 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,360 No, no, no, no. 395 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:09,600 I was a kid. 396 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,680 I know what the fuck, bitch. 397 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:18,640 OK, so us growing up, remember, we used to have the rich people or the 398 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:23,520 the higher class would have those big ass fucking satellites in their backyard 399 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,080 and whatever. Oh, yeah. OK. 400 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:30,800 But for me, we just had this fucking antenna on top of the roof. 401 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:35,120 And OK, sometimes you have to torque it, tweak it, whatever. 402 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,760 I don't torque it. 403 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:37,760 Tweak it. 404 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:43,800 And so my dad had a ladder and he was he went on the roof and he fixed the. 405 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,320 And and Tana. OK, the antenna. 406 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,120 He left the fucking ladder just to the roof. 407 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:55,400 So my sister and I were like, hey, you know, it's going to be fun. 408 00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:00,640 Let's jump off the roof, but let's have something that's going to be fun. 409 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,320 So my sister says, I'm going to take an umbrella 410 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,080 because I'm going to be Mary Poppins. 411 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,200 And I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, what? 412 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,000 What sister? Yeah. 413 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,000 Yeah, fuck. 414 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:15,120 And I was like, OK, and that was her idea because I never wanted to go in the fucking roof. 415 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,000 But I was like, oh, yeah, let's just do this. 416 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,120 And I was like, you know what? 417 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:24,080 My idea is going to be so I back then they didn't really have plastic bags, 418 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,320 but we had a couple. OK. 419 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,080 And so I and my stupid. 420 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:35,200 Childlike mind thought if I put my arms 421 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:39,800 in each little handle of the bag, 422 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,920 I thought it was going to be like some fucking parachute. 423 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:50,560 I used to play with those and throw them up and then they would go down 424 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,920 and they have a little plastic parachute. 425 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,360 And I just thought like, I'm going to fucking have a parachute. 426 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,320 So I was. Oh, my goodness. 427 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,400 Yeah. So my sister goes first and she jumps. 428 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,960 And it's a single story, whatever. 429 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:09,760 We're jumping straight to cement, which is fine, I guess. 430 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,880 I don't know. My sister goes first. 431 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,840 Her umbrella goes inside out. 432 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,320 I mean, of course it doesn't. 433 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,720 And she just falls and rolls, but she gets up. 434 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,160 She's like, I'm good. 435 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,600 I was like, but she didn't fly like Mary Poppins. 436 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,760 Like, I don't fucking understand. 437 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:29,120 And I have my stupid plastic bag on that. 438 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,680 I'm thinking it's going to be like a parachute. 439 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:37,400 I jump off and yeah, the fucking bag just flew over my head. 440 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:41,480 And I just fell onto the brick planter and I broke my arm. 441 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:42,480 Yeah. 442 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,480 I was. 443 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,480 You didn't fall on grass. 444 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:47,480 No, I fell. 445 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,760 We were jumping onto brick. 446 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:53,960 We were jumping onto a cement patio and we had a little break. 447 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,200 Oh, my fucking God. 448 00:20:56,200 --> 00:21:01,080 Yeah. And I was like, like her umbrella at least broke her fall a little bit. 449 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,200 My fucking parachute. 450 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:07,880 I don't know. 451 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,840 And my dad's like, you dumb shit, you dumb fuck. 452 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,320 And I was like, OK, so I broke my arm. 453 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,400 I was like, OK, but I thought I was dying. 454 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:16,960 I thought I was dying. 455 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:17,920 I thought I was dying. 456 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:22,040 I will consider that a near death experience. 457 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:26,520 That was my second one, maybe I got caught in the undertow once. 458 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,680 Oh, that happened to my daughter when I tried to teach her how to. 459 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,560 It wasn't even surf like body surfing. 460 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,480 Yes. Oh, my God. 461 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,360 I took her way too far out. 462 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:37,520 It's the equivalent. 463 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:41,160 This story is the equivalent of my dad telling me I'm not fucking choking. 464 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:43,200 My phone is fucking fine. 465 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,480 So I take her all the way out. 466 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:45,320 We're a boat. 467 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,640 No, I think we're at Seal Beach. 468 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,400 We're a seal. 469 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:49,280 Yeah. Yeah. 470 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,680 We were there and I took her out and I'm like, hey, you're just going to you're 471 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,400 going to ride the wave in. 472 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,120 It's just a whitewash wave. 473 00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:59,440 Well, the undertow and she's fucking like by the time. 474 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:00,960 And I'm like, I'll meet you at shore. 475 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:07,480 So I swam back and she fucking she comes back. 476 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,000 The monobots is crying. 477 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:13,000 She's like, I almost fucking died. 478 00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:16,880 She's like, you're just in the fucking sand. 479 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,080 He was so freaked out. 480 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,920 I'm like, OK, I'm sorry. 481 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,440 I should have did that. 482 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,440 I don't know. 483 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,040 I got caught under toe to my dad. 484 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,960 My dad used to tell me because we're Islander. 485 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:37,320 He's like, hey, like this is like, like this is like, you should know this shit. 486 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:42,360 And if you get caught and if you can't come back up, he's all swim at an angle. 487 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,280 Don't go against it. 488 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:48,760 And so I was I got caught and I was like, holy shit, I'm trying to boogie board. 489 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,560 I wasn't even that far out. 490 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,000 And I started swimming at an angle. 491 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:57,560 I think it felt like I walked when I got to shore. 492 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,600 I lost my boogie board and I finally made it to shore. 493 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,120 And I don't even know. 494 00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:06,680 It's like we were at lifeguard number fucking 17. 495 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,000 I'm like a lifeguard number eight tower. 496 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,600 And I'm like, I don't see my family. 497 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,320 They obviously don't give a fuck that I'm missing. 498 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:21,320 I fucking walk back to the lifeguard tower because I remembered 499 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,760 we're like our tower number 17. 500 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:25,360 We're near that one, at least. 501 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,280 And I think it was Seal Beach. 502 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,400 I thought I was there as well. 503 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:34,400 And I'm like, I my dad's like, well, what happened? 504 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,120 I was like, well, you told me to fucking swim at an angle. 505 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:42,280 I guess I swam at a fucking angle that just took me like three fucking miles from you. 506 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,400 I don't fucking know. 507 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:44,400 It felt like it. 508 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:48,440 I fucking walked back and I'm just like, my dad's like, well, I'm glad you made it. 509 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,280 That's a baby boomer fucking. 510 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,400 You're glad I made it. 511 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,200 And you know what? 512 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:59,000 And that's not kudos to even my mother, even worse. 513 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,840 I didn't even know how to swim. 514 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,360 And we went to the fuck. 515 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:08,960 They put you in the fucking ocean with a boogie board and you didn't know how to fucking swim. 516 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:14,360 No, no, I was just supposed to ride the little wave and then I just got out of the water. 517 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,160 I was like, I'm not going to swim. 518 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,000 I was just supposed to ride the little waves and then I just got caught. 519 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,400 You got nine lives and I think you're on your ninth one. 520 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,520 So you need to fucking chill. 521 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,280 I know. That's why I'm like fucking boring now. 522 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:30,480 I'm just like fucking rocking in a rocking chair and knitting. 523 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:31,880 Like, I don't fucking know. 524 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:36,680 I'm going to like I'm going to put puzzles together on my fucking kitchen table. 525 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:37,880 Like, please don't. 526 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:38,880 My mom did that. 527 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,920 She's trying to frame them all and I just want to burn them down. 528 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,520 Yeah. And it's like, what the fuck? 529 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,280 You just put like, it's done. 530 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:47,400 And then what do you do? 531 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,640 Just break it up or or please. 532 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,160 I'm thinking I'm going towards that. 533 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,360 Like, I'm going to get the little puzzle glue. 534 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:55,040 What am I going to do? 535 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,160 Frame them, give them for fucking gifts to people. 536 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,280 Like, look, I did a fucking puzzle. 537 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,080 Now, nobody wants that shit. 538 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,640 Like, I don't even fucking know. 539 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:05,800 I have no words. 540 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:06,720 I totally agree. 541 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,080 My mom framed hers. 542 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,360 Don't fuck puzzles. 543 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:10,720 I. Yeah. 544 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:11,560 Yeah. 545 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:12,760 That's all I'm going to say. 546 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,320 Yeah. I don't know. 547 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,200 That's when you know you're really getting old and like. 548 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,080 Oh, gosh, that was 20 years ago. 549 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:23,000 Oh, well, she was old then, but you know what I mean. 550 00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:29,320 I was just thinking of all I was like, damn, dude, 551 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:33,720 I fucking really had near death experiences. 552 00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:37,080 Quite a bit. 553 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,320 I remember when my mom was cheating on my dad 554 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,720 and she used to go to her sister's house 555 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,960 who had an apartment with one of those community pools 556 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:48,160 with like the, you know, in the apartments and. 557 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:49,120 And so yeah. 558 00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:53,000 And it's all like the little like jail bars go all the way around. 559 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,560 And you have to have a key, whatever. 560 00:25:55,560 --> 00:26:00,320 And I was playing in the pool with my sisters and stuff. 561 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,880 And I remember this guy was like, touch you and my mom. 562 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,680 And she was in the hot tub. 563 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:10,240 And I was like, excuse you, like don't touch my mom. 564 00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:11,640 Like, don't touch her. 565 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,320 He was like massaging her neck or some shit like that. 566 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:15,040 I don't know. 567 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:16,840 But my parents were still together at the time. 568 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,360 So shit, I must have been like seven. 569 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:20,680 OK. 570 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,680 And I was like, don't touch my mom. 571 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,360 And he picked me up and he threw me in the deep end. 572 00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:26,320 OK, guess what? 573 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,720 I can't go in the deep end. 574 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,240 Oh, hell no. 575 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:30,840 Yeah, exactly. 576 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,360 And my mom's over there with her sisters and they're just like, 577 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:36,920 what are her with their little wine coolers and shit? 578 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,400 You got to be fucking kidding me. 579 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:43,680 No, what? This is and I hope my mom's never going to listen to this podcast. 580 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:49,160 But if she ever did, I hope she takes this, you know, when she goes to meet 581 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,520 the master or whatever the fuck happened when you die. 582 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:53,520 She needs this. 583 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,080 I hope it replays in her fucking head. 584 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,560 So he throws me in the deep end. 585 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,480 And he's like, get out of here, you little rat. 586 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,080 And he throws me in the deep end. 587 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,840 And my sister and do the dog. 588 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,200 Hello. Hello. I did. 589 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,720 Oh, it went dead. OK, I'm like, hello. 590 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:14,880 Oh, good. 591 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,280 So come on, let's do the doggy paddle. 592 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:22,200 OK, I made it to the side and I go to my mom and I say, mom, 593 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:23,920 I almost drowned. 594 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,160 And she's, if you were to almost drown, you would be dead. 595 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,920 I was like, what the fuck? 596 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,720 Yeah, and I was like, OK, Miss Littlefucking. 597 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,840 What were those little fucking little drinks that they had or little or whatever? 598 00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:41,880 And I was like, OK, so I go home to my dad and like, dad, guess what happened? 599 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,560 And I'm going to tell you everything. 600 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,320 And my dad's like, OK, I'm going to the next barbecue there. 601 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,640 You show me who did it. 602 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,080 I sure will. 603 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,800 There he goes. Yeah. 604 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,400 It was it was great. 605 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,080 That's why I love my god. 606 00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,480 I cannot believe your fucking mom. I know. 607 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,080 Fucking crazy. 608 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,800 I mean, you can let alcohol take control, but please. 609 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,720 Please drink responsibly. 610 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:13,880 Too bad it didn't fucking take her like since she accidentally drowned 611 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,800 in the fucking pool from taking a nap. 612 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,280 I know, fucking crazy woman. 613 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,280 OK, I guess this is going down right now. 614 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:21,440 We don't want to go dark. 615 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,440 So what's that with you? 616 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:27,800 OK, so I was conversating with remember. 617 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:31,080 Oh, did I tell you remember I told you last week? 618 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,600 I think I told you last last episode that 619 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:38,720 if you go on the Nike website now, there's fat people modeling all the fuck out. 620 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,720 Active wear. 621 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,640 Did I also tell you about Calvin Klein doing the same shit? 622 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,480 Shut the front door. No. 623 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,280 Yeah, I saw it on my Twitter feed. 624 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:50,800 So Twitter feed has like they said like in the night, you know, remember when 625 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,520 Markie Mark and I want to say was Brooke Shields when they said nothing 626 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,640 comes between me and my Kelvin's. Yes. 627 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,440 Remember that? And then they were all fit and whatever. 628 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:03,640 Cool. Now, Calvin Klein supposedly also has the fat people. 629 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,840 So my thing is this and I'm like, ew, whatever. 630 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:08,960 I don't want to see that. 631 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:13,760 A and B. I'm like, can you imagine if the kids if there was a military draft, 632 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:18,720 not an NFL draft or an NBA draft, can you imagine if there was a military draft 633 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:24,320 today, nobody like under the, I guess the 18 year olds or the, I guess, 634 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,760 whatever the, the younger generation, I guess the millennials, 635 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:34,080 none of them would be fit enough to fucking fight or do our military. 636 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:38,760 Right. And then they go like, oh, my back hurts. 637 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,960 Yeah. You hurt my feelings. 638 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,040 Yeah. I mean, told me to do 20 push ups. 639 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:45,880 Well, bitch, you should be able to do 20 push ups regardless. 640 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:50,160 Yeah. You signed up to be a killer, like seriously. 641 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,680 And they'll be like, no, you drafted me and I'm just here because you made me. 642 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:55,480 Fuck that. 643 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,080 I have a lot to say about that, but I won't. 644 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,320 And it's fucking sad. 645 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,440 It is sad. And you know what, like to dovetail off of that, 646 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:09,040 my, my father being in the the law enforcement and everything in his career. 647 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:15,400 He it started then because he started like, hey, you know, 648 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,920 these guys can't run after the crook. 649 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:19,520 They can't jump a fence. 650 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:23,040 They can't they're just like, well, like, you know, 651 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,320 and you mean like the fellow officer? 652 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:26,840 Yeah. Oh, OK. 653 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:30,840 And it was his his whole patrol, his whole everything. 654 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:36,080 And he's like, hey, we're going to we're going to come to work at five a.m. 655 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:37,600 We're going to run three miles. 656 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,840 We're going to and they couldn't. 657 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:42,120 They couldn't jump over a fence. 658 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,160 They couldn't they can't do shit. 659 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,280 So what the fuck? Like, what kind of cop do you want? 660 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:48,920 Some big the wall? 661 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,160 Well, that's well, that's what it goes for. 662 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:51,400 You just shoot the people. 663 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,720 Oh, yeah. I might as well. 664 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:53,800 Well, just just shoot. 665 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,080 Why run when I can shoot? 666 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,680 Yeah. And then they're giving the cops like bean bags and shit. 667 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,520 Like, oh, you can't shoot people. No, no, no. 668 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:02,840 I don't know. 669 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,480 It's just it's just horrible. 670 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:06,200 And then like the military. OK. 671 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,000 Yeah. And I kind of get it. 672 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:14,520 We what I guess like the Marines are supposed or whatever the America is supposed 673 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:18,400 to be like the police of the world, the the the military. 674 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,360 OK, well, no, not no more. 675 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:25,000 We're little softies and nobody. 676 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,160 Straight or Edgers. 677 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,200 Yeah, we're all Edgers. 678 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:31,800 No, Cholo, whatsoever. 679 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,080 Straight Edgers. 680 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:39,040 I really think that we should just let all the lifers just say give them a fucking 681 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,040 uniform and let them kill like you killed before. 682 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:47,040 And like, how about kill the whoever we're fighting at this point in time? 683 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,040 I don't fucking know. But so stupid. 684 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:52,760 You know what? Now that you're talking about inmates, 685 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:53,880 I don't remember. 686 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:57,160 I was going to bring up something about the prisons and I really I should have 687 00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,120 fucking wrote it down. 688 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,400 Oh, whatever. And I fucks. 689 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:02,480 I do the same thing. 690 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,840 And there's like and I had like another co-worker and he said be 691 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,680 correctional officer here in Oregon. 692 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:12,360 And he's a talker. 693 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:13,320 And now he works. 694 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:14,200 Were you with you? 695 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:17,200 Because he yeah, he retired 31 years. 696 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,560 Oh, but he's like a talker. 697 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,080 So there's another one. 698 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,640 And they're all talkers at work. 699 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:24,920 That's how it always is. 700 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:29,360 Gosh, and I'm just like, dude, it's it's nice. 701 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,320 But like, I really don't. 702 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,800 I don't really I don't know. 703 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:39,520 But anyways, he was telling me he's like, hey, if you ever watch the news 704 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:43,760 and they say that they have to release all these prisoners, 705 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,280 these are the release prisoners every day. 706 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:53,600 He's like, it's it could be up to two to 12 to 20 because it's their time is up. 707 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,520 And they release them. 708 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,920 He's like, but they do this little stunt. 709 00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:01,680 Stunt where they call the news and they say, oh, 710 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:06,640 we had to release all these prisoners and it's and it's not really. 711 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:11,480 Like, oh, we had to release them because we don't have manpower. 712 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,320 It's just and they make them run and the news. 713 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:17,200 He said, did you see it on the news? 714 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,440 No, I don't watch the fucking news. 715 00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,440 I do not watch the news. 716 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:22,640 Yeah, I don't watch the news either. 717 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:23,640 But let me ask you this. 718 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:27,040 So when the lockdown happened here, 719 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:31,480 they released inmates from jails down here because of the code. 720 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:36,920 I guess the quote unquote, the planned demic PLA and and ED. 721 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,760 E M I C is what I call it. 722 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:39,760 Not the pandemic. 723 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:40,760 It was fucking planned. 724 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:41,760 Yeah. 725 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,760 Anyways, they released the inmates stating or I guess what their their 726 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:50,160 intention was because the COVID was there was a spike of COVID and the jails. 727 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:52,640 And I'm like, well, maybe it'll fucking kill them. 728 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,160 Maybe just leave it alone. 729 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,760 I don't fucking tell you stop taking my tax dollars. 730 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,840 Because sometimes I just think maybe I should just go to jail. 731 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:08,240 I'll get three meals a day and I'll fucking, you know, I get electricity and I've 732 00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:12,640 got to worry about kids and yeah, just fucking because fuck it. 733 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:14,840 I don't know. 734 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:18,520 But we should go to a lighter topic, I guess. 735 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,200 Okay, all these people yelling at us. 736 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:23,200 Right. 737 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:24,200 I have a lighter topic. 738 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,200 So I got my roots done yesterday, right? 739 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:31,800 Oh, and I'm talking to Matt is my my my hairstylist, I guess. 740 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,400 I don't know what we call him. 741 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:37,600 Anyways, we both love Britney Spears and I'm like, what is it with Britney Spears 742 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:41,600 and Jennifer Lopez and anybody with the short fucking hair? 743 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:45,200 They have the worst hair extensions ever. 744 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:48,680 They always have the worst extensions ever. 745 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:51,160 They always have the worst extensions. 746 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:55,440 I'm like, Matt, you need to hit these people up and DM them or slide into their 747 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,880 DMs and be like, look, I can do your fucking hair. 748 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:03,200 I can put in quality extensions and you won't look like fucking trash. 749 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:10,040 And he tells me that the reason why they they have shitty hair extensions and 750 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:14,000 the what obviously you can tell that their extensions and just fucking trash 751 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,440 is because they don't do their hair period. 752 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:21,120 And I'm like, OK, well, if you had a stylist, they should be doing your fucking hair. 753 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,760 I'm like, Rihanna never looks like that. 754 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:26,400 Like all black people, they always have their fucking hair done 755 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,720 and they have extensions and weaves and everything, but they have their shit 756 00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:31,480 on point every fucking day. 757 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,000 Props to those fucking people. 758 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,400 Yes, Britney Spears and JLo. 759 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,760 You guys got to hang that shit up. 760 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,640 It's JLo really. 761 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,200 Oh, yeah, her hair is short. 762 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,440 And anytime she has a long fucking weave or whatever the fuck I'm like, 763 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,560 I don't want to see you with fucking bangs. 764 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,600 I don't want to see you with your fucking the hair that goes down to your butt 765 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,440 because your hair is not that fucking long. 766 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,600 Yeah, tell where it stops and starts. 767 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:55,800 It's fucking trash. 768 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,880 Oh, fuck. 769 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,240 That's I guess one of my rants. 770 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,200 Well, that's a lighter note, but it's a rant and it just gets on my nerves. 771 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,080 I'm like, how much money do you guys make? 772 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:14,400 And you guys just you put money into the wrong places, like get some quality fucking hair. 773 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,760 I was actually telling my hairstylist the other day 774 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:23,320 when I got my roots done, which I, again, do not like the what what she was doing. 775 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,520 I was just going to ask, is it growing on you? 776 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:26,520 No, it's not. 777 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:30,000 I'm going to say, hey, I didn't pay 500 fucking dollars for this shit. 778 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,200 Like I'm unhappy not doing it. 779 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,200 Um, no. 780 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:37,480 So, um, yeah, we're going to revamp this look. 781 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:42,320 And I was thinking of just going a little bit shorter 782 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:50,560 and then just doing some maybe extensions, but just, you know, just weave some. 783 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,800 Oh, I'll give you an intake on that. 784 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,920 Just remind me about extensions after when you're done. 785 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,200 I want to interrupt. So go ahead. 786 00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:01,080 And she's like, yeah, it'll be about, you know, $1,200. 787 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:05,080 And I was like, if I cut my and I was like, well, I don't know that. 788 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,280 I don't know if I really want to do all that. 789 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:10,520 Like because she's like, well, if you're going to spend that much, 790 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:14,360 you're going to need all the products and you it's a big upkeep. 791 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:18,320 And this and that. And it's like, well, never mind. 792 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,920 OK, that. And so I've had extensions. 793 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,480 I didn't have like a whole lot or whatever. 794 00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,440 I got like the different color ones or whatever. 795 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,040 And they were professionally put in. 796 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:29,240 So I had they weren't sewn in. I guess they were glued in. 797 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,280 I don't know how ever they attached or no, they attached it. 798 00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:35,120 It wasn't it wasn't glued in. 799 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,440 Oh, so it was sewn. 800 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:37,720 Yeah, I guess so. 801 00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:42,480 But here's the thing, it's great when it's at the top of where it's at the root. 802 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:45,680 But it's they said, oh, the last six months. 803 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,640 Well, that's cool until your hair starts growing. 804 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,880 And then it's like, you know how your hair gets long. 805 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:54,400 So you it gets all fucking knatted at the top because of the new growth. 806 00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:58,200 And you can't fucking comb it down because that's fucking sewn halfway down. 807 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,760 So I'm just like, this is fucking dumb. Take this shit out. 808 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,720 I don't know how people fucking do this shit. 809 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:06,760 So I am I've had it done and I'm just like never again. 810 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:10,400 That's why I got a meme that said you ain't ugly. 811 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,120 You just poor bitch. Like I guess I'm poor. 812 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:16,720 I'm just poor. I can't. 813 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,600 I have a fucking mortgage to pay in a car note. 814 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,040 I don't fucking know. 815 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:25,720 I got a kid going to college. I guess I'm poor and I'm ugly. 816 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:29,520 Right. I can't fuck. 817 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:33,560 I can't do it. You ain't ugly bitch. You poor. Yeah. Mm hmm. 818 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:34,960 You're fucking. Yeah. 819 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:36,760 Put me on the top of the list of that one. 820 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,440 No, you're responsible. How about that? 821 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,640 Yeah. Yeah. Of course. 822 00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,720 I will try to be. 823 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:50,680 OK, question. 824 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:55,560 So before we go into rants, I this morning I was just, you know what? 825 00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:58,320 Regular potatoes, russet potatoes. 826 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,120 And you know how like they have the smaller ones that are not. 827 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,920 I call them bite sized potatoes, but they're like the little tiny ones 828 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,200 that you can like cook and cut them in half and you can like pop them in your mouth. 829 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,160 They're like bite sized. Yeah. 830 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:11,240 Why don't they have that for fucking yams? 831 00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:14,960 Like why do yams have to be like so fucking huge wide? 832 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,080 And then when you try to cut through it and it's just a nightmare. 833 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,760 I'm like, can we have baby yams? That would be great. 834 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,880 Yeah, because we want Sonto. 835 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,040 Right. Fucking what the fuck. 836 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,400 Figure it out. We figure it out. 837 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,920 I would love to have bite sized yams and then I can throw them in the air fryer 838 00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:36,800 and then just have the perfect amount for my meal. 839 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,440 I don't like to fucking have to cook. 840 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:42,280 Are you? Oh, it's just a fucking nightmare with the yams. 841 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,000 So I need bites. 842 00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:48,680 The bite sized ones are like the the same size as the little tiny ones for potatoes. 843 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,800 That's and then they say you can cook them and always freeze them. 844 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,080 Then you forget you froze them and then. 845 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:58,800 Oh, that's my mom. That is my fucking mom. 846 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,120 Is this yours? No, bitch. 847 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:06,320 I have my own fucking fridge and freezer because you like to fucking stockpile 848 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,200 bullshit that you never fucking eat. 849 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,720 My mom has one. She has three fridges. 850 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,040 But now actually she got or she didn't get rid of one, but she. 851 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,440 She she took all her shit out. 852 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:25,000 And so now she has, oh, no, she has one fridge and like an extra freezer 853 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,720 and half of the shit that's in there like 854 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:30,520 I think was last month. 855 00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:34,600 She pulls she pulls out this little personal size cheesecake and she's like a nook. 856 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:36,600 Is this yours? It's not mine or Marissa's. 857 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:38,200 And I'm like, bitch, that's fucking yours. 858 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,400 Your son gave that to you on Mother's Day. 859 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,600 Last month was July. 860 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,240 And I'm like, throw that shit out because she would have tried to freeze it 861 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:49,200 and just fucking throw that shit out. 862 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:50,800 That's my fucking mom. 863 00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:54,000 You're a lot of freezer burn. 864 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,040 Jeez. 865 00:40:55,040 --> 00:41:00,120 And then I was telling one of my co-workers we met up like I think it was last year. 866 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:05,880 I'm like, I'm like, Jeff, I'm like, I was looking for the frying pan to fry 867 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,960 some fucking eggs. I couldn't fucking find it. 868 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:10,480 Where is it? 869 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:14,040 And God damn fucking fridge because my mom cooked. 870 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,240 And she's in the fridge. 871 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:20,000 My mom cooked something and she put instead of putting it in a Tupperware. 872 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,320 Yeah, no Tupperware. 873 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,880 She has a fucking God damn cupboard full of Tupperware. 874 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,200 I have no Tupperware. 875 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:31,560 She she fucking uses like all her pots and pans are in the God damn fridge. 876 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:36,920 No, that's oh my God, my blood pressure is rising right now. 877 00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,320 I know mine is like now. 878 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:45,720 But I do have to admit I do that because I like coffee every morning. 879 00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:50,920 I do rice and I do put a lid and I just put that shit in the fridge. 880 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,760 Like after it doesn't take up your entire fucking fridge. 881 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:54,240 Right. 882 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:55,320 OK, that's what I thought. 883 00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:56,760 Handle is just sticking out. 884 00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,280 You can't close the door. 885 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:03,320 Exactly. So when I tell Jeff and his wife this, God bless the wife. 886 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,640 Medusa, is your mom Mexican? 887 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,440 I'm like, close enough. 888 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:09,480 I'm like, close enough. 889 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:10,240 She's Filipino. 890 00:42:10,240 --> 00:42:14,240 She's like when I was growing up and where the fuck was she growing up? 891 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:17,120 Not LA. What's that fucking city called? 892 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:20,360 Was it summer Kelly? 893 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:22,280 LA, South LA. 894 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:26,600 She was like when I was growing up, all my Mexican friends, their moms did the same thing. 895 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:27,800 I'm like, God damn it. 896 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,600 I'm like, it drives me fucking nuts. 897 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:31,840 I'm like, what the shit in the gut? 898 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:36,000 And then and then my mom, she bought more Tupperware like two months ago. 899 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,080 And I'm like, why why should I buy more Tupperware? 900 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:39,160 She's like, because I don't have any. 901 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,920 I'm like, bitch, I point. 902 00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:41,800 I'm just like, you know what? 903 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:42,480 I'm fucking done. 904 00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:46,840 Like I just I have I'm having an outer body experience here at home. 905 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:48,760 And I just I'll be leaving soon. 906 00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:49,800 That's all you need to know. 907 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,120 Oh, good. Come up to Oregon. 908 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:53,760 No, bitch. 909 00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:55,640 You need to come back to LA. 910 00:42:55,640 --> 00:43:00,040 Ah, I can't do the fucking spider season. 911 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:04,080 I can't do the two lane freeway or the two lane highway with tractors. 912 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,200 It's serenity. 913 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:10,200 Yeah. 914 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,560 When do you know when me and do you know we're walking to 915 00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:16,200 to the the park or whatever? 916 00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,920 You know, the riverfront. 917 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,600 Yeah. So like we pass over or we're walking over the overpass. 918 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,840 I guess I call it overpass, a little mini bridge where the river is. 919 00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:26,480 And she's like, oh, yeah, auntie. 920 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:30,520 She's like, so last year on the snow day that my mom told me to walk to school, 921 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,080 you know, there was a snow day. 922 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:37,040 She's like this river overflowed and like the water was up here where I was walking. 923 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,760 I'm like, you know what? What the fuck? 924 00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:43,960 I'm like, fuck your mom and this fucking state. 925 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,360 I'm like, what the over why? 926 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:49,240 I'm like, you guys, I'm like, what the fuck? 927 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:50,720 Yeah, we flooded. 928 00:43:50,720 --> 00:43:53,920 But this is all good. 929 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:56,920 I'm like, Pomona bullets is just like like 930 00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:58,560 Pomona bullets is a baby boomer. 931 00:43:58,560 --> 00:43:59,920 You walk to school. I don't care. 932 00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:01,360 I didn't hear about snow day. 933 00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:04,680 Yeah, she can have some legit stories to tell her kids. 934 00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,040 At least she's she's a very responsible child. 935 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,320 And so is your fucking son. 936 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,080 So yeah, I know, right? 937 00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:13,160 I like your mom. 938 00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,200 I don't know how I ended up with them. 939 00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,040 And I'm like, no, you did. 940 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:18,880 You did the opposite of what your mom did. 941 00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,440 Oh, I guess that's good that your mom fucking sucks. 942 00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:25,320 Yeah, because obviously you turn that shit around real fucking quick. 943 00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,960 I was like, not today. 944 00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,080 Not on my watch. 945 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,160 I'm not going to jail for child endangerment. 946 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,960 You're not getting spanked. 947 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:38,760 You're getting disciplined. Learn the lingo. 948 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:42,960 Oh, that's all about. 949 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,440 Also, and on a brighter note, 950 00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:50,880 I'm doing this thing that I know, June, it's going to fucking hate me. 951 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:52,880 But it's OK because I love her. 952 00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:57,240 And when I die, I hope she just says, hey, I had a badass mom. 953 00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,320 And so she's going to college. 954 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,720 She's moving into the dorms, right? 955 00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:04,600 And she get early access. 956 00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:06,480 She didn't get allowed. 957 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:13,760 Oh, well, but, you know, she's she's but her little 958 00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,560 roommate's going to be there or whatever. 959 00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:21,080 And so what I did because I'm stuck with her dog. 960 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:24,760 Oh, that's yeah. 961 00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:29,800 Yeah, so I bought a life size cut out of her dog. 962 00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:32,840 I fucking love it. 963 00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,880 I'm going to put that when when does it come? 964 00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,680 It's going to be here in a couple of days. 965 00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:42,480 And I know I probably will be at work, but I'm just going to. 966 00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,200 Are you going to hide it? Yes. Yes. 967 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,080 Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. 968 00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:51,080 I'm going to hide it and I'm going to put her fucking life size dog 969 00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:55,120 in her room and it's a cardboard cut out. 970 00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,240 I love it. 971 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,360 Don't get about your dog. 972 00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:07,480 You should have a also order a life size cut out cardboard of a snake 973 00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,280 because your dog likes to bring fucking. 974 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:10,880 Oh, I should. 975 00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:12,400 And it's pretty cool. 976 00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:16,120 I got the proofs and I'm like, yes, yes, and yes. 977 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:19,200 And I was taking pictures of Jane, the dog. 978 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:23,400 Right. And I'm just like, look, and she looks like that little 979 00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:26,840 Sarah McGloughlin dog like in the oh god. 980 00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,600 She's always like so fucking sad. 981 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,840 She has the best life here. 982 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:33,320 Oh my god. 983 00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:36,880 Um, but yeah, I'm going to put that shit in her fucking room. 984 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:37,960 She's going to hate me. 985 00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,640 She's going to feel embarrassed, but I don't give a fuck. 986 00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:41,320 Like. 987 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:43,680 Mama loves you. 988 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:45,240 So does Jay. Yeah. 989 00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:46,640 Don't forget about us. 990 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,720 I should have put a fucking life size photo of myself. 991 00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,640 She would fucking make that a her. 992 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,880 Draw on those little fucking mustaches. 993 00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,200 I mean, yes. Yeah. 994 00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:01,040 And the devil, the devil must act in the home. 995 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:03,320 Fuck man. 996 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:06,880 But you know, the funny thing is like my therapist said, oh, 997 00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:08,120 guess what happens? 998 00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,840 It's a cycle. 999 00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:13,800 Somebody gets treated bad and then they want to be better. 1000 00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:17,320 And then they treat their kids like, oh, I grew up bad. 1001 00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,000 So I'm going to give you everything. 1002 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,640 And then they. 1003 00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:22,840 So it was like a cycle. 1004 00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,960 So it was like up and down and up and down. 1005 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,280 They know, I totally get it. 1006 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,280 I totally understand what you're saying. 1007 00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,040 Yeah. And I was like, you know what? 1008 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:33,320 So maybe I should just drink a little bit more. 1009 00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:34,200 So I do. 1010 00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,880 And I'm like, fuck it. 1011 00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,360 I don't know what you're having for dinner tonight. 1012 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:40,160 Fuckers. 1013 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:42,840 Like, um, fucking do it. 1014 00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:45,000 Like, shit, don't expect. 1015 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,600 I hate the fact that my kids just was for dinner tonight. 1016 00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,480 I don't know what the fuck are you cooking? 1017 00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:53,680 They're old enough. 1018 00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,400 Yeah, I can see if there were five. 1019 00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:56,880 Yeah. 1020 00:47:56,880 --> 00:48:00,880 Speaking of kids, yesterday I was so fucking tired when I came home. 1021 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:02,120 I fucking had my hair done. 1022 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:03,880 When you get your hair done, obviously, 1023 00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:05,400 they give you the massage. 1024 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:07,000 Oh, yes. 1025 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,320 I'm so fucking tired. 1026 00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:11,240 And I went to bed late on Friday because of vanilla gorilla. 1027 00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:13,640 And then I get up early and then he massaged, 1028 00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:15,600 or I get my hair done, massage scalp. 1029 00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:18,320 And then I still have, I had a brow, eyebrow appointment, 1030 00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:19,760 like at four o'clock. 1031 00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,080 So like, and then she started massaging my face 1032 00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:23,400 when she was doing my brows. 1033 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,480 And I'm just like, I was knocked out by 7.30 last night. 1034 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,400 I'm like, I'm so fucking tired. 1035 00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:29,400 I don't give a fuck. 1036 00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:30,440 I was up by 2 a.m. 1037 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,440 I hit the gym and I'm like, I'm ready to go. 1038 00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:34,400 But fuck, man. 1039 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,680 Where was, oh, this is where I'm going with this. 1040 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,720 So I get, so in between the eyebrow and hair appointment, 1041 00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:42,560 Fenway follows me around the house all the fucking time. 1042 00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,000 And she's so fucking needy, which is fine. 1043 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:44,760 I fucking love her. 1044 00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:46,400 But yesterday I just fucking had it. 1045 00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,560 I'm like, I didn't realize Marissa or I didn't realize 1046 00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:50,560 Em was listening to me. 1047 00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:54,680 So I'm like, Fenway, I need a big favor from you right now. 1048 00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:57,240 I'm like, shut the fuck up and leave me alone. 1049 00:48:57,240 --> 00:48:59,120 And the Em just starts laughing. 1050 00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:00,480 I'm like, go lay down. 1051 00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,000 Stop following me. 1052 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:02,960 I need to fuck. 1053 00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:04,960 I'm like, I just need, I need to be left alone. 1054 00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:06,840 I have 20 fucking minutes to get shit done. 1055 00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:07,880 And then I need to leave again. 1056 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,000 Just leave your mother alone. 1057 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,360 And she's like, come here Fenway, it's okay. 1058 00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,360 Fenway. 1059 00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,360 Fenway. 1060 00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:18,360 How old is Fenway, by the way? 1061 00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:19,360 She's fucking 12. 1062 00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:20,760 So now her face is all gray. 1063 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:22,760 And she's got her, I know. 1064 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:24,760 I love her 12, you know. 1065 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,760 I remember when she was a pop. 1066 00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:29,280 I know. 1067 00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,600 Some guy was trying to buy her for $500 1068 00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:33,840 outside the Pomona fucking liquor store. 1069 00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:35,840 I'm like, no, sir. 1070 00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:37,840 Of course it's Pomona. 1071 00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:40,320 You're waiting for Pomona bullets to buy her fucking drink. 1072 00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:42,320 And then we are walking back to our house. 1073 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:47,320 Oh, shit. 1074 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,320 Okay. 1075 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:51,320 So I'm sorry. 1076 00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,320 I didn't mean to cut you off. 1077 00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,320 You didn't cut me off. 1078 00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:57,320 We just, it's weird. 1079 00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,320 Because sometimes we cat throughout the week. 1080 00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,320 And sometimes we don't. 1081 00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:04,320 And our podcasts get a little crazy when we do it on the Sunday. 1082 00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:06,320 Because we haven't talked. 1083 00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:08,320 No, it's better because we haven't talked all week. 1084 00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:10,320 Yeah. 1085 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:12,320 So here's my rant. 1086 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,320 I went grocery shopping. 1087 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,320 I went grocery shopping before obviously we got on the call. 1088 00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:20,320 So I'm checking out, or I'm getting ready to check out the grocery line. 1089 00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,320 So the guy in front of me, yeah, the guy, no, two, 1090 00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,320 there was not the guy in front of me, but the guy. 1091 00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,320 So two people in front of me. 1092 00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:33,320 He's, the guy is still fucking, the cashier is still like ringing up his fucking groceries. 1093 00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,320 And he's already punching in his card, which you can do, 1094 00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:38,320 but he keeps punching in. 1095 00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:40,320 He's like, sir, I'm not fucking done yet. 1096 00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,320 He didn't say fucking, but I'm not done yet. 1097 00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,320 Please stop. 1098 00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:48,320 I guess trying to punch your stuff in and we're not giving cash out. 1099 00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:53,320 This register doesn't allow cash to be, I guess, you know, if you use your ATAM card. 1100 00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,320 Yeah, this motherfucker is still fucking punching cars. 1101 00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:57,320 He's like, sir, sir, you need to stop. 1102 00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,320 And I'm like, I just want to go home. 1103 00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:01,320 I just want to like fucking. 1104 00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:03,320 I just bring up my fucking groceries, bitch. 1105 00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:06,320 I have three bags of salad kits and I just want to go home. 1106 00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,320 This motherfucker, I don't know. 1107 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,320 At least it didn't jam. 1108 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:11,320 He finally listened. 1109 00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:12,320 I don't know. 1110 00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:19,320 After the second time he fucking told him to stop punching the buttons on the ATM or whatever that fucking checkout thing is. 1111 00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:21,320 I fucking hate you. 1112 00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:30,320 So wait, are you so question, are you the one that if you have a full cart per se and somebody just, 1113 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:35,320 you look behind you and they just have a couple of items, are you the one that? 1114 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:37,320 Yeah, I tell them to go ahead of me. 1115 00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:39,320 Oh, I love you. 1116 00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:42,320 Yeah, that's because we're good hearted people. 1117 00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:47,320 Yeah, I was just like, why do you have to wait for my fucking 20 item checkout if you have one item just fucking go bitch. 1118 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:48,320 Yeah. 1119 00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:49,320 You're one fucking. 1120 00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:50,320 That's my good deed for the day. 1121 00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:51,320 I mean, it's just common sense. 1122 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,320 That's not even a good deed. 1123 00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:55,320 It's fucking common sense. 1124 00:51:55,320 --> 00:52:07,320 You would think, but there's times where I just have fucking eggs and bread and this person in front of me has a cart like hey they're doing like a one month I'm going to stock up. 1125 00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:08,320 Right. 1126 00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:09,320 Shit. 1127 00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:12,320 And it's like, can I just please I just have two fucking items. 1128 00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:13,320 I have eggs. 1129 00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:15,320 Never expect anything from the human race. 1130 00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:18,320 I know they are fucking horrible. 1131 00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:21,320 That's like expecting a payout from the government. 1132 00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:22,320 That'll never happen. 1133 00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:23,320 Yeah, yeah. 1134 00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:24,320 Fuck off. 1135 00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:33,320 That's like, I, it's so funny that like, oh, you make this much money to guess what you pay more taxes like fuck off. 1136 00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:35,320 Sorry, I'm almost spilled my water. 1137 00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:36,320 I'm a water. 1138 00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:37,320 Oh, well, yes, you should. 1139 00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:38,320 Yeah, I'm on water. 1140 00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:39,320 I'm sorry. 1141 00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:42,320 I know I have my little aquafina right next to me too. 1142 00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,320 So I was going to tell you, oh, one more rand then now that we're talking about grocery stores. 1143 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,320 So back when I was still in HB, I was at Vaughn's. 1144 00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:53,320 I never go to Vaughn's, but Vaughn's had like they their deli makes like homemade or they don't make homemade. 1145 00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,320 But their guacamole is really good. 1146 00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:58,320 So I'm not paying attention because I'm hungover. 1147 00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,320 Sorry, my life. 1148 00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:05,320 So I go in line, I go in this line to check out. 1149 00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:22,320 I didn't realize there was a lady in back of me, or I guess to the side and she was already in line and she was, she looks at me like I'm crazy and she's like, well, just cut me off then I was already in line and I'm just like, oh, okay, so I get out of the line to move and then she fucking keeps talking to me like talking smack and I'm just like. 1150 00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:25,320 Okay, bitch, I'm sorry. 1151 00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:27,320 I'm like, I wasn't paying attention. 1152 00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:32,320 I'm like, I swear to God, there are so many Karen's in an orange. 1153 00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:33,320 Oh yeah. 1154 00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:46,320 That's where the carver born the fuck out of fucking Huntington Beach and still beach but there's just way too many Karen's and they fucking pissed me off and I'm like, this is what I get for not going shopping when they first open. 1155 00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:57,320 I'm like, I'm not fucking Karen's in my face I'm like bitch, I am not fucking white like you if you only knew. Yeah, you're like, bitch, I'm gonna cut you in the parking lot. 1156 00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,320 Fuck man, I was just like, I will never trust a white bitch. 1157 00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:01,320 I don't give a fuck. 1158 00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:03,320 I know all shady as fuck. 1159 00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:08,320 I'm like, damn man that fucking shit runs through my fucking veins and I'm like, right. 1160 00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:09,320 I don't like it. 1161 00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:10,320 It burns. 1162 00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:11,320 It burns. 1163 00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:16,320 I love when I love when somebody from Orange County is like, yeah, I'm German. 1164 00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,320 I'm like, or whatever, right? 1165 00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:19,320 For instance, I'm German. 1166 00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:23,320 I'm like, okay, so was your mom or dad actually born or raised in Germany? 1167 00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:24,320 Yeah. 1168 00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:25,320 No. 1169 00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:29,320 And I'm like, okay, well, bitch, no, you're not not not even your grandpa. 1170 00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,320 Okay, but now bitch, shut up. 1171 00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:34,320 You are not your white your regular American way. 1172 00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:36,320 Yeah, the American cheese. 1173 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:37,320 Yeah. 1174 00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:42,320 I think we're off with that, but just fucking don't tell me you're fucking German. 1175 00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:43,320 You're a fucking liar. 1176 00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,320 You need to know your lineage. 1177 00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:46,320 Yeah. 1178 00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:47,320 No shit. 1179 00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:52,320 Like did you do the fucking, what is that called that little fucking, you can find your ancestry, 1180 00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:54,320 whatever the fuck, right? 1181 00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:55,320 Fucking assholes. 1182 00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:59,320 I fucking hate the fact that people are like, oh, you're Pacific Islander. 1183 00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:01,320 Your family's in Hawaii. 1184 00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:05,320 Oh, we're from Hawaii too. 1185 00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:06,320 Yeah. 1186 00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,320 It doesn't drive with my you fucking howlies. 1187 00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:16,320 Like, no, you're not like you guys, you guys know, know, know, and know, and just, and 1188 00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:20,320 then there's others that are like, oh, I'm like, oh yeah, my dad's Austrian. 1189 00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:21,320 My mom's Filipino. 1190 00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:22,320 They're like, Australia. 1191 00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,320 And I'm like, no, bitch. 1192 00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:29,320 Oh, so and then, and then, then, then they say this. 1193 00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:32,320 So did your dad speak like Arnold Schwarzenegger? 1194 00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:35,320 I mean, and I'm like the exit. 1195 00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:37,320 Yeah, he has a German accent bitch. 1196 00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:39,320 Does he speak like Arnold Schwarzenegger? 1197 00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:41,320 That's some white fucking magazine. 1198 00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:46,320 Assholes who are fucking uneducated shit. 1199 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:52,320 Like fucking fucking, you guys just, you probably don't even have a passport. 1200 00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:53,320 Like, I don't fuck. 1201 00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:54,320 Those are those people. 1202 00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:56,320 Well, I don't have a passport. 1203 00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:57,320 Oh, shit. 1204 00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:58,320 Okay. 1205 00:55:58,320 --> 00:55:59,320 Well, guess what? 1206 00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,320 We're not trying to fucking leave. 1207 00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:02,320 We're not. 1208 00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:04,320 I have my real ID. 1209 00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:05,320 I don't have a passport. 1210 00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:06,320 I need to get a passport. 1211 00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:07,320 Me too. 1212 00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:14,320 But you know, they're, they're saying that you have to like send your legit birth certificate 1213 00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:15,320 and shit. 1214 00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:16,320 And it's kind of like that. 1215 00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:17,320 Yeah. 1216 00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:18,320 And that's kind of scary. 1217 00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:22,320 Well, that's what Oregon was telling me because my passport expired. 1218 00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:23,320 Shit. 1219 00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:24,320 I don't know. 1220 00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:25,320 Yeah. 1221 00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:29,320 No, I didn't know if your passport, well, at least in California, if your passport expired 1222 00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:31,320 less than 10 years, you can just renew it. 1223 00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:32,320 I guess online. 1224 00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:34,320 I had a passport. 1225 00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:36,320 It expired like 17 years ago. 1226 00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:39,320 So I'm like, fuck, I gotta actually, I guess reapply. 1227 00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:40,320 Yeah. 1228 00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:41,320 And then they want your original. 1229 00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:43,320 It's like, why do you want my original? 1230 00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:45,320 You fucking can look me up in the system. 1231 00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,320 Like, because like it took me so long. 1232 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:52,320 I was born in Southern California and living in Oregon now. 1233 00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:54,320 It's like, what the fuck? 1234 00:56:54,320 --> 00:57:00,320 Like, no, I, I don't know because I sent my, my son's passport or not passport. 1235 00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:06,320 Like birth certificate because we were doing a bunch of military, you know, 1236 00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:12,320 just like whatever he had, he was getting his SS, whatever his whatever. 1237 00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:18,320 And yeah, and he was getting all that stuff and they're like, we need his original birth 1238 00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:19,320 certificate. 1239 00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:24,320 And I gave it to them and they were like, we will mail it back. 1240 00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:28,320 But when I, when I mailed it to them. 1241 00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:34,320 They're like, oh, we cut it because they like the little mail opener, 1242 00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:36,320 little scissor thingy that they do. 1243 00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,320 Huh. 1244 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:42,320 They, they fucking cut his fucking original birth certificate in half. 1245 00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:44,320 They're like, oh, we're so sorry. 1246 00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:47,320 And it's like, well, so sorry. 1247 00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:48,320 I'm sorry. 1248 00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:50,320 Did they send you another copy or did they? 1249 00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:52,320 No, like, we'll put in for it. 1250 00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:56,320 But you, you know, you have to fucking like all this bullshit. 1251 00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:59,320 I had to jump through so many fucking hoops. 1252 00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:02,320 And it's like, I don't, I don't trust you guys. 1253 00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:07,320 Sometimes our mail opening system is, is a little too efficient. 1254 00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:09,320 It's like, fuck you. 1255 00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,320 Fuck you. 1256 00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:11,320 I live in Oregon. 1257 00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:15,320 My son was born in fucking LA County. 1258 00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:18,320 Like, are you fucking kidding me? 1259 00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:19,320 Jesus. 1260 00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:20,320 Jesus. 1261 00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:22,320 If the Jesus take the wheel. 1262 00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,320 Hey Zeus. 1263 00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:27,320 I was like, I'm gonna take the wheel. 1264 00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:30,320 I was like, I'm gonna take the wheel. 1265 00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:32,320 I was like, I'm gonna take the wheel. 1266 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:35,320 I was like, I'm gonna drop that lawn mower and take the wheel. 1267 00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:36,320 This is fucking crazy. 1268 00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:39,320 Get on that John dare and take the goddamn wheel. 1269 00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:40,320 This is fucking crazy. 1270 00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:42,320 Like I fucking hate. 1271 00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:43,320 Shit. 1272 00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:45,320 It's like, you know what, but I'm, I'm good. 1273 00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:47,320 I don't, I don't, I don't have any fucking. 1274 00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:49,320 Nothing on my bucket list. 1275 00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:50,320 Nothing. 1276 00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:51,320 In the near future. 1277 00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:53,320 Or I want to go out of the country. 1278 00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:55,320 So we happen to know the same stuff. 1279 00:58:55,320 --> 00:59:12,320 And, but maybe I could build atown without going to a 1280 00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:13,320 town. 1281 00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:16,320 Like I fucking, like, I think it has been, 1282 00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:20,320 have you ever held a press conference relationship. 1283 00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:22,000 even do like the East coast anymore. 1284 00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:25,320 I want to go to Miami and I'm like, that is a six hours. 1285 00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:26,680 Yeah, it's a six hour flight. 1286 00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:28,600 And I'm just like, fuck, that means I have to get up 1287 00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:30,240 to use the bathroom at least once. 1288 00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:31,200 And that's disgusting, 1289 00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:33,240 cause it's a fucking airplane bathroom. 1290 00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:34,480 Let's start there. 1291 00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:38,720 And then just the people and it's recycled air. 1292 00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:39,560 Yeah. 1293 00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:40,600 For six fucking hours. 1294 00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:42,160 And then you're in like first class 1295 00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:43,520 and then you have these little assholes 1296 00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:44,880 still coming to use your bathroom. 1297 00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:45,720 You're like, excuse me. 1298 00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:46,560 Yeah. 1299 00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:47,400 The curtain. 1300 00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:48,240 Yeah. 1301 00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:49,080 I mean, stop. 1302 00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:49,920 Right? 1303 00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:51,680 Not first class. 1304 00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:53,800 I'm getting my own private jet. 1305 00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:54,640 Yeah. 1306 00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:57,000 This is so, yeah. 1307 00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,240 And I really was thinking more, 1308 00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:00,520 I guess I could go on a cruise, 1309 01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:03,160 but like I don't want to fucking go on a cruise. 1310 01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:04,200 I've been on a cruise there. 1311 01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:05,040 Okay. 1312 01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:08,120 But we, the cruise that I went on, 1313 01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:09,840 that was like back in college. 1314 01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:11,480 We took a boat or we to obviously, 1315 01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:13,640 we took the cruise from Florida. 1316 01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:15,000 I think it was for Lauderdale. 1317 01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:16,760 And then we took it to not Jamaica. 1318 01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:17,640 Where the fuck did we go? 1319 01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:18,760 Oh, the Bahamas. 1320 01:00:18,760 --> 01:00:21,080 And we didn't stay, the boat dropped us off 1321 01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:22,680 and then it picked us up like four days later. 1322 01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:25,480 So we weren't actually, I guess, like cruising. 1323 01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:27,080 Like just living on the fucking ship. 1324 01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:27,920 Yeah. 1325 01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:29,280 It was a big cruise liner, 1326 01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:31,400 but we didn't stay on the boat. 1327 01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:32,440 I guess, which is a good thing. 1328 01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:33,880 Cause I don't know if I'd be able to do that. 1329 01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:35,520 Like, you know how they stop everywhere? 1330 01:00:35,520 --> 01:00:36,360 Yes. 1331 01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:37,200 I know. 1332 01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:42,200 I did the fucking, the Baja Bay fucking cruise 1333 01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:46,840 and the Tequila cruise and God, 1334 01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:49,880 they stopped and it's like, our get back on the ship 1335 01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:52,440 or else you're left type shit. 1336 01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:56,600 And my very, very first cruise was I took the kids, 1337 01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:59,960 we flew to Florida and we did that Disney cruise. 1338 01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:02,000 We went to the fucking Mickey Island. 1339 01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:03,960 Oh yeah, my college best friend used to do that 1340 01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:04,960 with her daughter all the way. 1341 01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:06,440 Oh God. 1342 01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:08,120 Fuck my life. 1343 01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:09,600 Like it was just like, please. 1344 01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:10,880 I'm not a Disney person. 1345 01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:12,760 You know what I want to do? 1346 01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,680 I want to do the Virgin cruise. 1347 01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:18,440 That dude said there was no children allowed. 1348 01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:19,280 Please. 1349 01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:21,720 Yeah, I would do a cruise with no children. 1350 01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:22,560 Yeah. 1351 01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:23,400 Yeah. 1352 01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:24,240 And I'm like, hey dude, 1353 01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:26,680 I know you want to go to the moon and whatever the fuck, 1354 01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:29,280 but your Virgin cruise with no children allowed. 1355 01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:30,680 Yes, please sign me up. 1356 01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:33,880 I would like to maybe do that. 1357 01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:35,080 I don't know. 1358 01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:35,920 I don't know. 1359 01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:40,440 You know, we're also, no kids were allowed was that, 1360 01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:42,800 that's, what's that scuba gear? 1361 01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:45,880 That submarine dive down to the Titanic. 1362 01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:51,440 You're a bitch, dude. 1363 01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:53,040 I can't believe you said that. 1364 01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:54,520 I'm ready to implode. 1365 01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:01,160 You're fucking crazy as shit. 1366 01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:02,640 I fucking love you. 1367 01:02:02,640 --> 01:02:03,480 I love you too. 1368 01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:06,080 And on that note, I guess we should call it a day. 1369 01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:07,560 We should. 1370 01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:08,400 All right. 1371 01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:09,960 Well, I will talk to you next week. 1372 01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:10,960 Have a good one. 1373 01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:11,800 You too. 1374 01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:12,640 Bye everybody. 1375 01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:13,480 Bye.