Clean, clink, drink, drink, you are Pomona Bullets and I am Baruch Medusa and this is
Top Shelf Hi-Jinks.
Let us begin.
Good day, bitch.
Good day.
Week one of the NFL.
I have it on silent.
The Bang Bang Niners are 17 and the Steelers are zero.
Second quarter, eight minutes and 25 seconds to go before halftime.
I know.
I use my phone for our podcast and I have the NFL.
Like I can get every motherfucking game for the season.
I pay like $100 every season and I can stream it to my TV, whatever, but you know, podcasts
is a little more important.
At least I can watch the replays.
You can't stream it and then just join the podcast and I bet you can.
I bet you could.
I'm not that savvy.
Shit.
Well, you're going to have to fucking try it out before next week then.
Oh yeah.
I can't wait.
The Bolts are going to play the Dolphins.
I can't wait.
They have, I guess, I want to say Vegas book says, I don't know what the stats are, but
they, um, 40, I'm sorry.
Your chargers should be winning the game.
I don't know by the, I don't know what the spread is though.
I don't know either, but I sure hope they win their first game and I'm so glad that
fucking Casey lost their first game.
They'll still probably win the Super Bowl last year.
No, they did.
Yeah.
I mean, they're, they're, they're a good team.
I, you know, Kelsey's hot, so I'll take it.
Oh my fucking God.
Anyway, yeah, is your car all done?
No.
So my, my, this is true story.
I was trying to get my car wash at this drive through little, you go, you drive through
and then the people run out and you, they, they vacuum your car and just, it's not like
a huge like detail, detail, they just vacuum and wash it and you get a free air freshener.
So I go to that car detail or wash place and that was last week and it broke down.
So they had to tell me, here's a, you can have a free car wash and when we fix it, I
was like, what the fuck?
Jesus.
And the only other option I have is I wash my car myself either A at home or B at one
of those pump in the quarters and you'd keep right.
Yeah.
And I was like, I don't, I don't not doing all that.
So I call it around.
I look up mobile detailers, car detailers.
This one, what's that run?
Because I was going to get a car wash for the last three weekends and then the fucking
rain and then the forecast didn't call for rain today.
I'm like, maybe a car wash after we podcast.
It started fucking raining at eight AM and it's Florida all over fucking over this shit.
And I stopped having mosquito bites as of Thursday night and now they're going to be
all fucking back again because the goddamn fucking rain.
It's like we're on the, the, with the Atlantic ocean over here instead of the goddamn Pacific.
Geez.
Well, yeah.
The Atlantic has like some fucking hurricane.
Some shit.
Maybe it's like this.
I don't know.
But yeah, the guy, I said, listen, my car's not that bad, but it's all about the details.
Like I really want all the little fucking minor things to just be on flake because that's
just what I want.
And I just don't want to do it myself.
So did he do it?
Oh yeah.
He's, he's working on it now.
He came at 10 and he said he should be done around one.
So what's he, what's that run for though?
He's going to charge me a 165.
Oh, that's not bad for the entire fucking and he, yeah.
And he's going to, he's like shampooing my seats and all kinds of shit.
So it's like, well, okay.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I hope it's, it's good because he also said that he would put me on this premium plan.
I go, what is a premium plan in tail?
$85 a month.
He comes out once a month, rain, snow, sleet, ice.
Oh my God.
That is so fucking good.
And he does what he's doing now.
Yes.
I need to look into that and see if they have that here.
I'm sure somebody does that here.
And I was like, really?
I was like, cause Oregon, you know, we got a lot of rain.
I got a lot of snow.
We got a lot of shit like going down.
He's like, nope.
I have my own little pop up tent.
I come in all weather.
It doesn't matter.
85 bucks.
And I was like, huh, okay.
Sign me up.
Cause I fucking hate washing my car and yeah, go for it.
I'll pay 85 bucks.
We're going to look into that.
Yeah.
It seems like a sweet deal.
We'll see.
I just, I fucking hate wasting my time.
I was just like, do I really need to sit at the goddamn car wash while you fucking wash
my car?
And then I keep trying to get everybody at work.
I'm like, if I get a detailer here, do you guys, will you guys sign up or, you know,
and then that way they'll show up once a week or once every other week.
And then we could probably get a discount if everybody gets their fucking car done.
Right.
Yeah.
And they're just like, I'm just like, okay, well, never fucking mind bitches.
Yeah.
I mean, I practice.
I don't know.
I mean, I eat lunch in my fucking car.
So somebody needs to clean it.
Cause I'm not right.
I take a nap in mine every fucking day.
Monday, Friday.
Yes.
All right.
So let's get into topics, I guess.
Wait, well, what are you drinking?
Oh, Bombay.
I'm sorry.
No.
I'm, I'm relaxing today.
So I have my, um, it was hot, but I put ice in it.
So it's, I guess, um, my brood, cacao, it's the chocolate coconut brood cacao and then
two shots of vodka in there.
So I'm like just sitting on relax mode.
Yeah.
What about you?
I am going hard today and it's Jameson.
You know what?
I was just going to say, well, the Raiders play at 130 at their, um, in Denver.
And, um, so I'm like, Oh, I'm sure the game is on, but I'm like, if I watch it, it's just
like, I have the worst, um, my blood pressure goes through the roof.
So I was just like, fuck, am I going to watch this or not?
And if I do, then I need a drink tequila because that's my blood pressure medication.
Right.
So I'm like, um, I think I'm just going to relax today.
If the game, I'm sure the game will be on cause it's going to be in Denver.
And Derek Carr is no longer a goddamn fucking quarterback.
So, um, who do you guys have now?
Garoppolo.
Well, that's not too bad.
No, it's not bad, but you know, management has always sucked.
So I'm sure it's just not going to work out.
I think for a little boozy, trust me, I'm a Raider fan, but I'm just talking realness.
So I'm like, if they get, if they get the, if management gets their fucking shit together,
which they never do, then maybe we can progress.
But until then, like, you know, your team is only as effective as your fucking leadership.
So what's that tell you?
True that.
And I'm more interested to see how Derek Carr does with the Saints.
I bet you he blows it out because I'm sure they're managing it.
What's going to go to the Super Bowl?
Who did?
So we shall see.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
So a topic.
I know we discussed earlier, or we said we'd talk about it on the podcast.
Yeah.
When it comes like, so for the last two to three weeks, my newsfeed on my phone has mentioned
several, at least two times.
I say several, I guess I'm exaggerating two to three times max, how women have a hard
time orgasing orgasm.
God, I can't even say the word.
They have a hard time coming when they're with their lover.
And I'm like, I don't know what the problem is, bitches.
I have never had a problem.
Yeah.
Um, it's called Tegels.
Right.
A, B, it's just like, how old are these bitches that they're surveying?
And then C, like, if you don't know your fucking body or if you don't feel your body or you
just, if you don't know your body, your lover can't know your fucking body.
So yes, you need to masturbate and learn the fucking shit.
So you can tell your lover what the fuck to do.
I don't understand why bitches are quiet and then they get all pissy at the men or whatever
the fuck the thing is, but the, um, their partner, their partner.
Yeah.
Whatever.
I just, I don't understand it.
You want to know what it is?
I read it one time.
You guys should look it up.
Um, so.
This bitch has master wisdom and, uh, yeah, it's because they play so many toys and so
much out there.
It's like, it's like a, there's so much out there and then you get a, the real deal and
you're just like, what is this?
Like, you know, batteries can make me orgasm, have an orgasm like three times and fucking
three minutes, but your penis or whatever your tongue, whatever doesn't do shit because
it doesn't vibrate that fast.
I don't know.
I just think there's just so much out there where it's just like, whoa, well, the way,
well, I should have kept the articles, but I was just, or I guess bookmarked the articles
so you could read them from what I, and I didn't read them in depth.
I skimmed them, skimmed and scanned, but for the most part, they just don't seem like
they're sexually active or I don't know what the proper term is.
They don't know their fucking bodies.
Like if you know your body, then you can communicate to your lover or lovers how to fuck you right.
And then you'd be like, Oh, you know what?
I actually like sex.
I like to fuck.
I like to come and guess what?
My lover is like reciprocating and knowing how to make me come because I tell him what
the fuck is going on.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That is all.
Yeah.
It's like harder, slower, softer, faster.
Bitch, don't lay there like a dead bitch.
I know.
Don't play possum.
Okay, my thing is this is all the work either.
Yeah.
Sometimes, sometimes that's fine, but sometimes it's like, I'm tired.
My thing is this.
Everybody likes to fuck.
If you don't like to fuck, then I don't know what your problem is.
A, B, if everybody likes to fuck, well, everybody likes to fuck, but the real question is, do
you know how to fuck?
And if you know how to fuck, then kudos to you, you know, yes, clean.
Don't know how to fuck.
That also ties in with you.
Don't know how to communicate with the person you're fucking with.
So you know what?
I don't know what to tell you.
How are people having heart feelings?
I mean, I just need a penis and I'm fucking golden.
Shit.
Just give me a.
I'll do all the work.
I said stay still, bitch.
Ow, that hurts.
Let's get it.
Okay.
So we can move right along.
Right.
Moving right along.
Do you have any topics?
Well, I actually took notes this time.
Yeah, I know.
So I got, I have my, my rents, I got my raise.
I got my trash list.
Yeah, we're going to introduce that in a little bit.
Yeah.
So topics.
Okay.
Wait, I do want to just, let's just, here's the icebreaker.
Um, so I'm going to call my neighbor.
He's just going to be nerdy neighbor.
I'm going to give him that name because his license plate says what, so it doesn't say
nerdy neighbor, but it says nerdy something.
So he's my nerdy neighbor.
I am so fucking fed up with this douchebag.
Like, I, gosh, I, one, I said it in a previous podcast where his gazebo came over and flew
over into my yard and messed up my pole and your backyard was all fucking shit.
And I was like, what the fuck?
And, God, and then it came over again for a second time and I was like, only me, only
somebody like me with that type of luck.
Just gosh.
And it broke my fence and I have like the wooden fence all the way around the wooden
plank fence.
And so this guy likes, um, skeletons, which is okay.
That's fine.
And his shit came over into my backyard.
He had like a raven and a cage, like a fake raven.
And he, I just, like, I don't, I don't know.
He had, um, instead of a wind chime, he had a bunch of like knives, butter knives at that
and forks and spoons.
Just, I don't know.
I had over wind chimes.
Yeah.
Oh Jesus Christ.
Yes.
He's just, he's like a unique individual.
And, um, is that what we're calling it?
I think that's the, um, the, the nice way of saying douchebag fucking tarred, but, um,
yeah, he's unique, I guess.
And so he has this little skeleton that just hangs in front of his house all year round.
And we don't have an HOA in my neighborhood, but neighbors have came up to him and said,
hey, it's not Halloween anymore, take that skeleton down.
So he decides to dress up the skeleton.
If it's, uh, what is it?
St. Patrick's Day.
He puts it in a green little St. Patrick's Day festive little outfit.
I don't know.
If it's Valentine's Day, he puts little pink and stockings on this fucking skeleton that
just hangs in front of his house.
Um, so he loves skeletons, so now he has, I shit you not.
It is at least, I don't know, I sent you over here.
Is it like maybe 10, 11 feet tall?
We have two story houses here.
Is that the front of his house that he has it?
Yes.
Right there.
I mean, I think the skeleton's foot is actually on my property.
I think you should chop it off and be like, bitch, not today.
I don't even know because I'm thinking, oh, he definitely is going to take the Halloween
card and run with it.
I hope it's not a permanent fixture that he just plans on keeping there because it's
only September and I don't know.
I don't know if I could do two months of this shit.
I love Halloween decor and everything, but that, the picture you sent me is like, ooh,
I don't know.
That's a lot to take in.
I'm like, oh my God, my nerdy fucking neighbor, fuck.
I always look outside my bedroom window.
I'm on the second story and I can see into his backyard and I'm just like, son of a fucking
monkey, this motherfucker.
I don't know.
Just please.
This is when HOA fees are like, I would be glad to pay.
And rules.
Yeah.
I would pay to not have this motherfucker live next to me.
It's so funny because everybody hates the HOA, but HOA is desperately needed in Oregon.
Oh fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah, especially on my block.
Yes.
God.
And I did think of taking his little fucking skeletons down or whatever, but he has like
fucking cameras everywhere.
I'm just going to show you his cameras everywhere.
Yeah.
But he would have taken all that shit down already.
I'm going to have to pay some little rando kid.
Okay.
Put a mask on.
Be like it's already Halloween and take that shit down.
Take it down.
50 bucks.
Right?
Yeah.
So yeah, that's just my little topic for the, I guess the weekend because I've been staring
at this shit for the past couple of days now.
What I'm just like, what the fuck?
Well, hopefully it'll only be till October.
Okay.
Hopefully it'll only be till October 31st, but what happened to the other skeleton he
originally had there?
He still has it hanging.
Oh, he didn't place it in the same spot or are we going to sit?
No.
And he's skeletons?
Yes.
And he has a little baby skeleton sitting on a chair on his porch too.
I don't know.
And what you should take the baby skeleton and be like abortion time.
Oh, yeah.
I probably touched a nerve there.
I shouldn't have said that.
I'll go all I just like, dude, I'm going to put a plan B.
Plan B.
Get the shit out of here.
You know what plan C is?
I'm going to remove all your shit because it's on my property.
Fuck.
I don't know.
And you see how close my houses, like the houses are here.
Yeah.
And his place was like really messy.
Yes.
The outside was very disorganized.
So gross.
And the worst part about it is that he's like a high school teacher.
So you know, June it she's going to college.
She's no longer in high school.
So maybe this is my my time to like complain.
I don't know.
Be the Karen that I the inner Karen in me.
Do you know how to mess a teacher?
Right.
Yes.
Okay.
I get it now.
Yeah.
Crazy.
So I tried to just, you know, not rock the boat too much, but shit.
Fuck this.
Now my daughter doesn't go to school on there anymore.
She's going to college.
What about your son?
Your son will probably know he's last year in junior high.
So I know, but hopefully he won't get him when he gets in high school.
Well, hopefully he's fucking fired by the time I'm done with him.
Oh, well, there you go.
Or maybe retired.
I don't even think I would hope.
I don't know.
It's just really weird.
Oregon, like they say, keep Oregon weird.
Well, fuck.
I guess they say that.
How about people in Oregon away from Baroque Medusa?
Because that fuck sucks.
Oh, my God.
I met up with my Long Beach coworkers yesterday, two of the girls, and they're like, have you
gone anywhere lately?
I'm like, I went to Oregon, I think it was like two or three weeks ago.
They're like, for what?
And I'm like, girls, if you only fucking knew that my bestie moved out there and I had to
take a 90 minute Uber ride to her fucking house behind two tracks or whatever the fuck
they're like, what the fuck?
And I'm just like, yeah, I'm like, I will never go there again.
I will fly into Portland and she can come meet me and we can hang out in Portland.
Fuck the 90 minute drive and all the little shit.
You know, at first when I very first.
Okay.
So my wheels were just like, I was so wound up living in SoCal.
Just, I was like one of those drags.
The driver's like, fuck off.
I was, yeah, I had road rage.
My blood pressure was at like a level where I should be alive.
I had anxiety.
I was just always, I drove around with a bat in my car, like shit like that.
Like just, what the fuck?
Yeah.
I was like, I'm fucking SoCal.
Like this is how we do.
This is how you live.
And then when I came to Oregon, I was like, this is so nice.
So green and animals and slow, but I was so wound up.
I was so wound up.
I was just like, what the fuck fucking go?
They're like the speed limit is 25.
I'm like, what the fuck a speed limit is 25?
And then people, they're like, there's no J walking here.
Everybody can just fucking walk across the street wherever you don't have to be in a
crosswalk.
And if you're in the street, I'm going to fucking hit you at like, I don't know.
Like how bad could you get hurt if I'm going 25 anyways?
J walking.
I know when I, when I go to, I haven't been to Boston in like four or five years, but
Boston's the same way.
Boston has signs everywhere.
Like J walking is or yield to J walkers or whatever the fuck.
Yeah.
Why can't that be here in California?
Can you imagine how many people would fucking be in the hospital?
Exactly.
Get your ass to the corner or a crosswalk.
Imagine these motherfuckers just, just, just going to step out into the street and you
have to yield to me.
Fuck that.
I think that's ridiculous, but that's just me.
No, it's not.
Get your ass out of the way.
Fuck you seriously.
It was, it was your, did your son already go back to school or next year?
Yes, he did.
Thanks.
The heavens.
Okay.
Is he happy with that?
Or he's just like, I'd rather stay at home.
He's happy.
He seems like he would like, or he's more that the one that wants to be in school or
whatever.
Yeah.
He's, he's very like, yeah, he just wants to learn which is great.
Good.
Yeah.
And so G unit, do you, does she go in on Saturday next week or she moves in on Saturday or what
day does she move?
Yeah.
So the 16th, 17th, so she's moving in, moving in the dorm, but you're, are you working on
Saturday?
I am, but on Sunday, I could officially help her just finish her move, which she doesn't
have too much stuff.
Oh my God.
Fuck this Spotify.
You are back from technical difficulties, people.
Yeah.
That was pretty, pretty ratchet.
Fucked up my buzz.
That's what it.
I know.
Shit.
I don't know where we left off at.
So I guess we can pick up with something new.
Yes.
No, maybe I say yes.
All right.
So let's introduce the new thing that we're going to do.
So I don't know how many episodes we've done already where we do our rants and I have very
few raves, but we do rants, but now we're going to also introduce trash and what was
it?
Trash and cash.
Yeah.
That's morning cash.
So what me and our, let me prop talk prop or grammatically correct.
What Pomona bullets and Baroque Medusa are going to do is we'll, we'll ask each other
questions and we got to do, um, like if it's trash or cash.
So for instance, since it's NFL Sunday, week one, are you, uh, wings or boneless wings
per or so categorized cash or trash wings and boneless wings?
Okay.
Wings is a total cash for me.
Bonus wings.
Oh, shit.
That's a hard one.
Hmm.
You know what?
I'm going to, I'm going to take it back.
Boneless wings are cash for me.
What?
I don't know if we can be besties anymore.
I don't know because it's kind of like I hate throwing the, the bones away and, and, and
it's just like, it's easy.
It's an easier cleanup.
Okay.
But I, okay.
That's, that's, that's you.
That's you.
No, that's fine.
So cash for you is boneless wings.
Trash is wings.
I am the opposite.
Um, cash is wings.
Trash is boneless wings.
So let me, um, I guess pigtail or whatever the proper term is off of that.
So uptail, off that.
Oh, uptail.
Wings, boneless or bone in wings are fucking trash all together for, for myself.
So are you thighs or wings?
Which one is cash and trash?
I mean, cash for me all day long is thighs.
They're juicy.
There's protein for days and wings is trash because you have to work too hard and I'm
not eating boneless wings because that's just fucking whatever.
So I would just do bone in wings over boneless wings, but at the end of the day, the real
fucking winner is fucking thighs.
Big thighs for sure.
Okay.
We agree because I know you can cook up some real mean thighs.
I sure can.
All right.
So do you want to go next or should I, I have like four more?
Well, I do have one.
Okay.
So let's go.
Yeah.
So you go next and then we'll do, we'll go every other or whatever.
Okay.
I'm going to just hope and pray that you are still my best friend after this because I,
hmm, I'm going to go like, okay, but I'm going to give you two.
Okay.
And you can just say it's trash on both or cash on both, but I, I prefer a different
one.
So I'm going to say, well, let's go with hot sauce.
So is it Tapatio or Chalua?
Tapatio all day long is cash.
Chalula or how are you pronouncing?
How ever you say it.
That's secondary.
So I would say trash.
Perfect.
Oh, okay.
I'm like, am I still your best friend?
But I, I say Sriracha.
Oh, well yes.
But you can't put Sriracha on Mexican food.
I know you can't.
And if, if, if it was one or the other Tapatio is cash money, that Chalula, whatever.
All right.
Yeah.
I would say that would be my trash.
My cash is Tapatio.
Okay.
So do you have another one?
Oh yes.
So it's NFL Sunday.
So Pam Oliver or Aaron Andrews.
Oh, okay.
My trash is Pam Oliver.
Yeah.
I know.
I'm scared.
Okay.
Well, I don't care for either, but Pam Oliver would be my cash money because homegirl just
I guess can hold it.
I don't know.
She, at least she can hold her shit together.
Aaron Andrews, I don't know.
She's just like wishy-washy and too emotional.
So at least Pam Oliver doesn't put all our emotions into her fucking shit.
Well, that's the way I would do cash for Pam Oliver and Aaron Andrews's trash, but whatever.
Can you imagine if we were on the NFL field fucking whole board shit?
Yeah, I know.
They were just, yeah, we wouldn't have a job long.
Okay.
Your turn.
Gosh.
Okay.
Well, see, I'm going like way over into like right field.
But I'm doing, okay.
Milk chocolate or dark chocolate?
Dark chocolate.
No sugar.
I like my dark chocolate.
That's your cash.
That's cash all day long.
Milk chocolate is disgusting and gross.
So trash.
What about you?
I'm the same.
Thank you very much.
You bet.
My sweet is my cash.
Good.
Yes.
And it's also good for many other things, but that milk chocolate, yeah, I hear those
right Easter bunnies and all that shit like now.
I'm not two years old.
So sorry.
Hershey's come out with a boy.
I think they do have a dark chocolate bar, but yeah, I'm sure they do.
Yeah.
So yeah, my cash is dark chocolate.
My trash is milk.
Perfect.
Okay.
All right.
Doritos nacho flavor or Doritos cool ranch.
Which one is trash and which one is cash?
Oh, my trash is the fucking cool ranch.
I think you ding ding ding.
I mean, I'll eat them, but you know what, whatever the nacho ones, you can fucking crack them,
fuckers open and then put some ground beef with taco seasoning and go to town cash money.
Is that right?
Yes.
Cash money.
Fuck the cool ranch.
I hate it.
Uh, trash.
Good turn.
Okay.
Vans.
Shoes or converse?
Converse for the gym.
Oh God, that's a hard one.
So it depends on lifestyle.
So if it's going to be for the gym, it's going to be converse is money or cash and then Vans
is trash.
If it's like for hanging out and going out drinking or just like weekend stuff, then
it would be the opposite because there's actually actual cushioning and support in Vans.
So that would be my money.
And then chucks would be like trash.
Okay.
I mean, I like them both and I own plenty of leather.
Yes.
Both brands.
Um, but yeah, uh, I would have, oh my gosh, I would have to say trash on the converse and
cash on the Vans.
Uh, only because like you said, I've had converse on and man, my fucking feet hurt so bad at
a concert or whatever.
And yeah, I looked cute and it matched my outfit or whatever, but no support, no support.
So but I love them both and I still will wear them both.
Right.
Depends on what you're doing.
Yeah.
So for this little episode, it's going to be money, cash for the Vans and trash for
the converse.
Thank you.
I'm glad we agree.
Okay.
So I'm just going to do all food today because I'm fucking hungry.
Um, pancakes or waffles?
Oh, I'm going to say cash on the pancakes, beer pancakes, especially, but I do love waffles.
But yeah, I was going to say if I'm making them because I'm lazy, it would be pancakes.
Yeah, but if somebody wants to give me like a Belgian waffle chicken and waffle, right?
Yeah.
But, um, cash money all day long for waffles if I don't have to make them.
Yay.
First for show.
Yeah.
If somebody can give me some goddamn Belgian waffles, like some whipped cream, some strawberries,
all that shit.
Yes, please.
Um, but for just off the top, it's going to be cash for the pancakes and trash for the
waffles, but I love waffles.
Damn, you know what?
You know what sounds good right now with some pancakes with bacon and eggs in between each
pancake.
Oh my God.
Those little, like those little, I'll talk about four pancakes and then have bacon under
each one.
You know, I'm talking about in between.
Yes.
Like the stack.
Yes.
And then one sunny side up egg in between all of them.
Yeah.
Have you ever had a pancake waffle or a pancake taco?
Yes, I have.
Yes, I do that too.
And then I hop fucking came out and said pancake tacos limited time.
I'm like, bitch, I've been making those for fucking years.
You know, exactly.
And you know what?
They're also called craps or creeps or whatever the fuck it's, you know, I'm talking about.
Yeah.
I'm like, fucking I hop, stop trying to reinvent the wheel.
No, limited time only.
That should be on your menu at all times.
Thank you.
All right.
Thin crust pizza or regular crust pizza?
I'm going to say cash money on thin crust regular crust is trash for me.
Thank you very much because you can eat double the amount with thin crust and it tastes better
because it's crunchy.
It's not fucking all doughy.
Exactly.
And you put in the microwave and it's still pretty crunchy.
It's not all rubbery and shit.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to say you're next.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's let's go to the hygiene levels.
Okay.
Colgate toothpaste or aqua fresh?
I don't use either.
It doesn't I do.
I do aim.
Aim.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I do aim and everybody's like, like they still sell aim toothpaste.
I'm like, bitch, I brush my teeth four times a day.
Yeah.
So, um, yes, I do.
I guess the cheaper toothpaste and gets the job done.
But it used to be 85 cents at Walmart and now it's like a dollar 15.
Oh, shit.
Fucking, but I'm going, I go through a lot of fucking toothpaste because I'm always eating
and I'm always brushing my teeth because I don't want cavities.
Okay.
Me too.
I'm big on my, I'm big on my grill and big on it because everyone's like, did you have
braces?
No bitch.
I was born as beautiful.
You did not have braces.
Your teeth are fucking perfectly straight.
I'm so fucking jealous.
Oh, fucking thank you.
Islander bloodline.
Like it's like a fucking hippo or some shit.
I don't know.
It's just, it's all just straight.
Oh, all of us on the TV and she's looking good.
Oh, I'm like looking good.
I mean, she's looking mean and fucking holding court.
Oh, Pam.
So yeah.
But I, I'm totally in a cold gate.
No crest.
No, I'm aquafresh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, I had.
Yeah.
I was like, that's what the three, the three is like red, white, yellow.
And then it bubbles up.
But like they have this other little brand like bubbles up.
He's like, I don't know.
I, I don't know.
But I brush my teeth quite a bit too.
Right.
And I also floss and I do the little fucking at the, what's it, what's it called the tooth?
Not the toothpick, but you got to do your gums because I don't want gum disease.
Yeah.
You don't want no ginger vat or.
Yeah.
That's a disease.
Fuck that.
My fucking, my mouth is on fleek.
Like no, if anything else isn't on fleek, at least my teeth are.
Thank you.
Because you only get one set of fucking teeth.
That's why you got to take care of them.
I love my fucking teeth.
Okay.
So you can go next.
Okay.
So that's funny.
You said hygiene because I actually wrote down one for hygiene.
Juergens body lotion or Nevea, if I'm pronouncing that right.
Oh, okay.
I'm going to pick, but I'm going to say what, okay, I love Juergens.
Juergens and the, the almond cherry.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
I loved it.
Had it used it.
I'm sorry.
Growing up, it's just, it's just like that.
Oh, that one smell that just, yes, I love it.
But as old, the older I get, I'm going to go with Nevea.
Like I'm going to say cash and then trash for Juergens.
But yeah, I do, I do, yeah, I do a vino, but you know, okay.
Oh, okay.
Well, you have a stepped up.
I was Juergens for at least 25 years and then the last two years I transitioned over to
a Nevea and I like it better.
So I guess maybe it is because of older age, but it just, it works better with me.
It does.
Yeah.
And it tightens your, it, they have the firming.
Oh, I didn't eat, I just used the regular, the, the cocoa butter.
It comes in a tub.
Girl, get the firming one.
Okay.
Well, I just know it keeps my skin hydrated more, but I shower twice a day as well.
I don't, I know everybody doesn't shower twice a day.
I shower twice a day.
So I got to use lotion that keeps me hydrated.
Yes.
And I'm saying the VEA or, or, yeah.
Nevea is cash.
Money.
Cash money.
Okay.
How about this one?
Chevy or Ford?
Um, Chevy all day long, unless it's their trucks, I would say F 150.
F and A, but if you had to say one was trash, one was cash, even though you, you, the entire
line would be Chevy.
I've always been a Chevy girl.
Thank you.
Boom.
Yeah, I'm so fucking Chevy is cash.
I do like, I do like the F 250s.
I do like some Fords, but they're under both American made or right.
Supposedly.
And, um, yeah, but for just this, this topic, I'm just going to say trash for Ford cash
for Chevy.
Oh dude, dude just heard his hamstring on the fucking field.
Sorry.
Um, yeah.
I'm the same.
Um, and I actually like, my mom bought her first Kia or she only has one Kia, but she
bought a Kia back in 2005 and that's when I guess Kia was just coming up and now me
and my daughter both have KIAs.
So, um, they've come a long way and I actually love my Kia and it's an automatic, which is
so fucking weird because they didn't have it in manual transmission.
Okay.
So let's, let's pick you up.
I'll ducktail off of that manual transmission or automatic transmission.
Oh, totally fucking manual.
That's cash money.
Cash money.
You can control your fucking car, but it's like, you want manual.
I'm like, you can control your fucking car.
You don't have to use your brakes all the time.
But I don't like the hole where you just have this little punch, like a button now.
Oh yeah.
That's why I like that manual shit.
Like are you fucking kidding me?
Just make it automatic then.
Like I'm not going to fucking push a little.
I will, I want to like put it in neutral and then go into first and then second and shit.
Like I don't, I don't know.
You got to feel alive.
Yeah.
Fucking shabby sonic.
Yeah.
You can't find it.
You grind it.
You can't find it grind it.
Exactly.
I've never had that problem, but yes.
Yes.
Well, yeah.
When I, when I try to teach my, you know what?
If you can't find it, grind it.
That should apply to the bitches who don't know how to orgasm or can't, doesn't have
to figure out their own bodies and, and communicate that to their lovers that, you know, I just
need help orgasming.
How do you say that fucking word?
I need help coming.
Yeah.
Coming.
Yeah.
What's wrong with coming?
Is that not a word anymore?
I don't know.
I'm just trying to be not professional, but I'm trying to use the actual word and I just
cannot say that fucking word for shit.
Oh, okay.
Um, earbuds.
Oh, so like for when it comes to like listening to music or whatever on your phone.
So earbuds are the actual headphones, like the princess Leia headphones.
I, if I'm okay.
Trash is going to be the earbuds.
Thank you.
That's going to be the headphones and that's just me.
But if I'm in a car or an, I don't know, like if I need the fucking earbuds, if I'm talking
to somebody and I'm just whatever, then okay.
But yeah, cash for me is going to be the, the headphones, like the real set.
Same.
I had one set of earbuds and those things just pissed me off.
Like I, I lost one or I misplaced it.
I found it and those things don't cancel out noise.
I don't care what they say.
I still fucking hear everybody and I'm like, bitches need to shut the fuck up.
So, um, I have my, my cheapy $35 ones that I have like since 2016, they work fucking
phenomenal and I don't hear anybody.
Right.
And then people know, like, don't fucking talk to me.
I still fucking talk to me or like when I was at Long Beach, I'm like, bitch, I can't
hear you.
Yes.
I got the fucking headphones on.
Do you not see me with this?
And I'm just like, whatever, bitch.
Just don't they work at Long Beach?
Oh my gosh.
I was talking with ear buds one time and I was at the grocery store and I'm talking to
somebody on the phone with my earbuds.
Nobody knew.
And they were like, I'm sorry.
What did you say?
What are you talking to me?
It's like, no bitch.
I'm on a fucking phone call.
Fucking ain't talking to you.
I don't fucking know you.
Like, and no, I'm not manic depressive or bipolar.
Yeah.
And no, I don't have like anxiety disorders and shit.
Like, no, I don't want to just get the fuck out of here and go home.
Like, let me pay for my shit.
Bye.
Okay.
So it's your turn, I believe.
Oh my gosh.
Oh gosh.
I only that's all I wrote.
Oh, that's it.
Okay.
So I have one more and then we can do our ransom call today.
Yes.
Um, incense or like the essential oils diffuser.
Hmm.
I do like the diffusers.
Um, I do.
Yeah, I think that's going to be my cash money right there.
Same.
The incense like ever since like for the last 15 years, because I used to do incense growing
up or whatever, but that shit now, like it totally fucks with my sinuses.
And I'm just like, my daughter, like she, she does it every now and then and just totally
fucks me up and it's, she's in her room and her room is closed and she does it, but I
can still smell that shit and it fucks my sinuses up.
Oh my gosh.
I see like 20 times.
Yes.
And I'm just like, what the hell?
I mean, I use sage as well once in a while, but shit that too.
I'm just like, oh, gosh, get the bad juju out of my house.
But yeah, the essential oils is my cash money all day long.
Yeah.
That's my cash money too.
All right.
So let's transition to rent.
Um, what's your rent for the week?
Oh girl.
Okay.
I am going to rant about pillows.
Oh, this is the thing.
I was not expecting that.
I know because I've been waking up and I'm just like, what the fuck?
My neck hurts.
Oh no.
Like am I sleeping wrong?
Is it the fucking pillow?
And this is the thing I need to be in the pillow industry because I'd be making mad
money because I have spent thousands of dollars legit on pillows and it's kind of like, you
just got to find that one.
It's like a relationship.
You just, you got to find that one.
I totally agree with you on that.
And it's just like, okay, I don't know.
I am still skeptical on, should I buy the my pillow?
They say that it's going to be good for 10 years and it's like, okay, wait a second.
I don't want the same pillow for 10 years, but hopefully it's good at least for three,
but they say you can wash it and shit.
That's why you say pillow relationship.
Oh, I didn't even realize that.
Okay.
So you find a good pillow and it's only good for about fucking what, three years until
you got to find one.
Exactly.
And I, so I just, and I love pillows.
I like pillows on my couch, not a crazy pillow amount per cent or nothing.
Right.
But just enough to just, hey, in a corner, whatever, I like pillows.
So my pillows right now, I'm just like, what the fuck?
I've gone through so many different fucking pillows and I'm over it.
I'm fucking over it.
So my rant is like, fuck, I just, I just want one pillow that I, that's my go-to.
Like, Hey, I bought the bamboo pillow.
Have you ever?
Oh, those ones were heavy.
You know what?
So here's the thing, because you had them in the room that I slept in when I came.
Yeah.
When I came on all over because I don't have a problem orgasming like some fucking
chicken chicks.
Anyway, so here's my thing.
I like, okay, so question.
I like my pillows not to be so, I guess, robust or fluffy because that, that fucks my neck
up.
I like them more flat.
So just my head is just raised a little bit off the pillow or I guess off the bed, if
that makes any fucking sense.
Yes.
So I could not sleep with the bamboo pillow under my head.
I use that for under my, my knees.
So I don't, you know, do you sleep with a pillow under your knees?
I do.
I have body pillows.
I have pillows, pillows, pillows, pillows.
I have perfect, right?
Because you know, you, your abs are not contracted when you sleep.
So if you wake up with back issues, people, you need to sleep with a pillow underneath
your fucking knees and you don't have that issue anymore.
Anyways, I used your bamboo pillow for under my knees and it was perfect because it was
like really high.
Yeah.
If that makes sense.
There was another flat pillow there.
So that's what I slept on, but I like that pillow.
So are the pillows just sleeping on?
I don't know if that's like, um, maybe the issue with your neck or well, so I bought
some pillows from Kohl's and they were the, the little sheep number or sleep, like whatever
the little sheep.
What is it?
Serta, Serta.
Oh, I know.
I was like, okay, I don't want them too firm.
And those, I thought that's, okay.
I don't fucking know.
I bought them when I sleep.
Like the wool firm is as far as like the bamboo pillows.
Those are just a little too like, I don't know, like it's just too much, but one thing
I didn't know about the bamboo pillows that I found out on YouTube is that you need to
take out the cushion or the stuffing to your preference.
And I was like, oh, oh, you can take it out?
Yeah.
And I was like, oh shit.
Well, I just fucking bought these motherfuckers and I'm just like, this is a good, like, try
that or try removing the foam, I guess, maybe.
I guess.
But I'm just like, check that out.
My fucking rant is just like, I'm so fucking sick of fucking pillows.
Like, I just want my neck not to hurt anymore.
And I bought those memory foam pillows and oh, yeah.
I've never had a memory foam pillow.
Those are fucking bullshit.
Are they trash?
Yeah, this trash.
I don't fucking know, they don't work for me.
I don't fucking, like, I just, and then I bought pillows that have memory foam core.
Fuck that.
I don't even know what that is.
I don't know.
I'm just like trying to find the right pillow.
Okay.
So question, I know you do Amazon.
I don't know if you want, maybe I've never bought pillows on Amazon, but I just start
looking on Amazon and see if you can like try them and then return them if you don't
like them, maybe.
And then get your money.
I'm talking about, right?
Yeah, I would hope they would let us.
Yeah.
Start doing it that way until you find your right pillow.
If they allow it, I'm sure they would.
I don't know.
See, and I bought this motherfucking pillow called a chilo.
Um, I'm just like, is that a real pillow?
I need to look at it.
It is.
Look it up.
It's supposed to keep you cold because I always flip my pillow.
Yeah.
Well, everybody flips their pillow.
Well, I haven't flipped my pillow lately, but yeah, I normally flip my pillow so it's
cold and not all fucking hot.
Right.
And so this was called a chilo and this pillow was supposed to just stay cold.
And I don't know that that was trash.
Good idea.
But so all pillows for you are trash right now.
I'm sorry.
I know with somebody can just give me some pointers because I, you know, I think I'm
keeping the pillow industry alive.
Um, yeah, you fucking are.
I'm just like, and people are like, well, maybe it's your mattress.
Oh, fuck.
I've gone through so many mattresses as well.
And I'm just like, I don't know.
So are you a soft mattress or firm mattress?
I'm a firm mattress all day long.
Okay.
For sure.
I had a air, was it num or a number bed or whatever.
Fuck that.
No.
Um, and then I really am, I'm really leaning towards trying that purple mattress.
Oh, okay.
I don't, I don't know.
Well, I don't know.
Well, fun fact about Borough Medusa, I used to sleep on the floor for like 15 years until
like maybe right before the pandemic, when I moved in, um, with my other bestie Darcy,
we rented a condo out.
I finally got a bed and I had to get the firmest mattress ever.
So I felt like I was sleeping on the floor.
I love, yeah.
That's what I have now.
I actually bought it on like HSN and it was from like the Bellagio hotels or whatever.
And it's actually a mattress you could fucking flip over.
Like you could flip the motherfucker over because most mattress over all the time because I
rotate my mattress every month or whatever.
I call it rotating some mattresses out there.
Now you can't flip that shit over.
No.
That's exactly, my daughter can only rotate it.
She can't flip it and rotate or you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
I'm like, she's like, why can't I do that?
I'm like, because they want you to buy a new mattress sooner than expected.
Exactly.
Just like the iPhones and shit.
Like they want you to upgrade and keep buying, but I got a mattress was like, oh fuck yeah,
I could flip it and it's firm and I love it.
I love it.
It's from the Bellagio hotels and I got it from HSN.
I didn't realize HSN sold mattresses, but that's cool.
They do.
And they take your old one out.
Really?
Yep.
Okay.
Good to know.
I bought my mattress.
I bought my firm mattress.
It was a rollup one.
You know what I'm talking about?
Like the purple one.
I was skeptical.
I bought it on fucking Amazon and that is the best fucking firm mattress that was rolled
up and mailed to me ever.
Oh shit.
I'm just like, I fucking bookmark that thing because I'm like, I'm going to need a fucking
king size when I fucking move out.
I want this big fucking bed and I need that rollup mattress bitch.
Fuck yeah.
I was sleeping on a fucking futon for fucking years and shit.
That sucks because you know, the futon mattresses, they come out, they start all right.
And then you just back up.
Then you just fill the bars and shit like oh gosh.
And then I bought a futon mattress from Amazon and it came in like this box stuff.
Like this is a mattress.
And they said, yeah, you just take it out and roll it under it.
And then it just puffs up and I'm like, oh shit.
Nice.
Cool.
I don't know.
But yeah, my rant was just fucking pillows.
God damn it.
Well, I hope you find a new pillow this week.
I hope so too.
Have you tried my pillow?
No, I have not.
Okay.
I wish I did just so I could, I guess give you, I guess feedback, but I don't know.
I only see the commercials and I don't know anybody who actually owns one.
So I can't say yay or nay on it.
So I guess you'll be the first one to let me know if you want one.
Because I'm like, I said, I was going to say start looking on Amazon though, I guess just
to see if there's any other pillows, I guess.
Or is that where you bought your bamboo pillows from?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
Well, I don't know then.
Yeah, I don't fucking know.
But I just need a good pillow.
And it's just, it's just, it's weird because I go to a hotel and I'm like, this is the
best sleep I've ever had ever.
Yeah.
What type of fucking pillows do you have?
They always have the best pillows at hotels.
Yeah.
I'm like, where do you, Ken?
And they're like, oh, well, yeah, we don't know.
They never know where the fucking pillows come from.
I'm like, how can I buy this?
How about I just fucking steal them and you could just charge it to my credit card.
Like, I, crew, but everybody else has slept on that fucking pillow.
So you don't want to do that.
I know.
I'm all fucking putting Lysol and shit and putting a little towel over the pillow.
Fuck.
So that was my rant.
What's yours?
All right.
My rant, I guess, is pretty simple.
I guess it's, I just need to get out of my own head because I keep getting in my own
way.
I'm working myself better.
I'm working better at it.
I'm getting better at it, but I keep getting in my own way.
So I just need to get out of my way and then, you know, I can be blessed.
Okay.
Goddamn fucking ego.
Yeah.
I mean, hey, I'm working on it, bitch.
You know what?
I have nothing to say because I'm right there next to you.
Wait.
I don't know.
So, yeah, getting out of your way.
That's, that's, I gotta get out of my own way when it comes to positivity.
Yeah.
I get, you know, that's all I'm going to say.
I'm working though.
I'm doing better.
I just need to keep, be consistent.
I actually now I'm going to sound like a hippie and shit, but like I meditated and it was
like the best thing ever.
Yeah, I do that now or I've been doing that, but even when I do that, sometimes I still
get in my own way.
So yeah, you're still angry.
Cause I'm like, yeah, fucking, fucking, fucking, and then my kid will knock at the door.
I'm like, what the fuck?
I'm like, fuck.
It's me time.
Yeah.
It's like, fuck and fuck, but when I could actually really put myself out there and just
meditate, I'm just like, oh shit.
It is kind of, and I'm always thinking, yeah, this is like some hippie shit.
Like fucking what the fuck?
Like, I don't know, but it does work.
If it does.
If you can make it work.
No, yeah, but I'm like life gets in the way.
You just need to just stay on top of it.
So that's where I am or that's what I'm working on this week.
Okay.
Well, that is a big rant.
I fucking hate that shit too.
It's a boring rant, but it's the truth.
So I don't know what to say other than that.
I know.
I, I went to work the other day and they're like, good morning.
And I was like, what's so fucking good about the morning?
Cause you're not a morning person.
I'm a morning person by the afternoon.
I'm like, don't talk to me.
Leave me alone.
By 11 a.m.
I'm like, my day's already done.
So you guys need to shut the fuck up and get out of my face.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
I'm like, good morning.
I fucking, I was hoping to just die in my sleep last night and I, okay.
God.
But no, I'm not because there's times where I wake up and I'm just like fucking good
morning world.
Look at how beautiful these fucking fields and the sky.
Lex, look at this.
I'm just so blessed, which I, I'm trying as well.
I'm trying to just say thank you universe for just blessing me with a fucking car with
the job with health.
It comes down to gratitude.
I'm always grateful, but I've just like still, I just gotta be more positive.
Did you, so obviously you got your ticket for last night, right?
I was just going to say, I pulled them out of my purse and I need to see if I don't
even know if, if somebody won the jackpot period.
I don't know either.
I'm like, holy fuck.
I could be a motherfucker millionaire right now.
Well, I'm going to check my ticket.
Let's call it a day because we're running kind of long.
Let's call it a day.
I'm going to check my ticket and you check yours.
Yes.
And if you guys don't hear us on the podcast anymore, that's because we're worldwide.
On the fucking road, bitches.
Yeah.
All right, girl.
All right.
Everybody have a good one.
Thanks for listening.
Bye.
Anyway, thank you.
I'm going to finish this.