And we see it, thanks for being here.
I'm so thankful for our music ministry and for, man,
just some great music that we got, some great truth we got to
sing this morning, just an incredible thing.
I have a long history with weddings.
I know that's a weird statement, but I'll let you know what I
mean.
I've been in 15 weddings as a groomsman or an usher.
I'm like friends with lots of people.
And that was kind of fun.
And I've done at least 15 weddings that I know of, and there's
probably two or three that I've done other than that as the one
doing the wedding itself.
But one of the earliest memories I have was being a groomsman
for my dad.
I was one of my dad's groomsmen when he got married to my mom.
My first mom, as many of you know, passed away.
And she told my dad, hey, these kids need a dad.
And I'm going to be with Jesus.
These kids need a dad.
They need a mom.
I'm going to be with Jesus.
And so when you're ready, feel free to date again and to
remarry.
And so eventually he asked us, boys, hey, can I go find, what do
you think about me dating?
And we're like, you haven't been looking?
We are so tired of TV dinners.
Like, we need a mom.
And he's like, mom told us she would be looking.
Okay, so anyway, that's kind of how that went.
And this lady came into our lives named Jana and she came.
Literally she came the first time we met her.
She pulled up in a sports car, which was awesome because my
first mom was in a wheelchair and she couldn't drive.
So we hadn't been, spent a lot of time with someone like that to
drive.
So she came in a sports car.
It had like the T-top, who remembers those, you know, and it
was a 280Z and she gave me a basketball and my brother a
football and gave us both candy bars and were like, you're
hired.
That's how that worked.
Like, yes, dad, let's get this together.
Okay.
And so that's how that worked out.
And I remember being a groom's man in the wedding.
They eventually got married and it was at the reception in Ava,
Missouri.
How many of you have heard of Ava, Missouri?
Correct.
There's only like 100 people there.
They were leaving, they were going to go get in the sports car
to go on their honeymoon.
My grandma and our dear friend Mary Jane were going to drive
my brother and I back down to Florida where we lived while my
parents went off on their honeymoon.
And so I'm running behind my mom and dad as they're walking out,
you know, my new mom, you know, Ms. Jan, and it goes to mom.
And as I'm running behind them to say goodbye, I didn't know this
tradition, but my mom, now my new mom, throws the bouquet.
Okay.
Okay, like this behind me.
And I'm running and I go, ah!
And I catch the bouquet.
And everybody said that was hilarious.
And then so they're like, you can't keep it.
It's Ava, Missouri.
There's only so many people, you know, these bridesmaids, these
ladies want to catch this, but they need to get married.
So I went out and then I ended up throwing the bouquet and
somebody else caught it.
And so that's a silly, anyway.
Yeah.
That literally happened.
It was pretty fun.
But as I think about our family, we had a blended family at that
level, right?
I know that there were times where blending our family was
difficult.
My mom's last couple years, she was just fighting for her life.
And so, and then went to be with Jesus.
And then we had a year of like, bachelor life.
It's just dad and the boys, right?
And so now this is new mom that's coming to the house and she
cares about things like manners and chewing with your mouth
closed.
And what else?
I remember, like, I literally remember her teaching us about
matching.
You can't wear, you know, orange shorts, green socks and, you
know, purple shirts.
And I'm like, matching.
So which colors match and she's helping us out.
Aren't you glad for moms?
I'm so glad for moms.
So anyway, and there were times, and I literally remember kind
of going against her a little bit.
I was getting into adolescence and all of a sudden some of the
stuff she was trying to get me to do, I didn't want to do.
And I remember my dad saying, I don't care what she tells you
to do.
If she tells you to, yeah, you're just going to do it.
She's your mom.
And I'm like, yes, sir.
You know what I mean?
I don't know how that was.
So she had to start with my brother and I at 10 and 8.
And that was kind of a tough thing.
But we had about as much as an ideal of a situation as you can
have in blending families.
And there were moments that were difficult.
And if you're new with us today, you know, we read the scripture
wherein 1 Corinthians chapter 7.
And we're going to go through chapter 10 through 16.
And to tell you the truth, like one of the things we do in our
church, and again if you're new with us, is we just walk through
the Bible.
You know, we're in chapter 7 verse 10 because last week we were
in chapter 7 verses 1 through 9.
And it's amazing to me, as I've done this the last four or five
years being your pastor, how that the word of God is alive.
And he uses the choice and the schedule and the walking through
the scripture to get us to just the right verse, set of verses at
just the right time.
And if you feel like as we read this today and as we study this
topic, if you feel like, man, he knows what's going on in my
life, I probably don't.
The Bible is alive, right?
And this is a topic that in a sense then has been assigned to
us to study today because we're just doing that consistent verse
by verse teaching.
And the scripture as you've seen and as we read is talking about
marriage, talking about family and talking about divorce.
It's talking about remarriage.
And while marriage can be a joyful state and absolutely is for
so many, it also can be a very difficult topic.
There are people in this room who are married, there are people
who are single and never been married, there are people who are
single and have been married, you're divorced, there are people
who are single and never been married.
And there are people who are married, there are people who are
divorced, there are people who have been remarried to other
people, there are widows that were married and lost their
husbands or widowers that lost their wives.
There's a gamut of things and a gamut of situations.
And most everybody dreams of the best case scenario on their
wedding day.
And I'm a manager at a tuxedo shop and why did I do that?
Talking to people about weddings all day after having a
breakup, that was rough.
What's your colors?
That's kind of how those months went for me.
It was rough.
It was bad.
But my point is every bride and groom that came in to pick out
their colors or to do whatever they're doing, they're all excited
to get married.
There's a couple that weren't as excited and I'm like, what are
you doing?
Rent the tuxes, would you like to go upgrade?
That's how we had to do that.
But most people, when they go into it, they want the best case
scenario.
They think that it's going to be forever.
Only to find themselves later in a situation at times that they
regret to find difficult and there's a lot of reasons for that.
I'm like knowing that it can be difficult.
And I know that as I teach God's plan for marriage throughout the
Texas day, there are people that find themselves having already
made choices that goes against this text.
I just know that.
Some of you may find yourselves frustrated or saddened by this
teaching because of what has transpired in your life.
For others, you're single looking forward to being married in the
future and this text may seem foreboding because it points to
potential complications in marriage that you're hoping not to
have.
And to all of us, to all of you, I want to say this.
God's teaching on marriage and his will for marriage, like all of
his law and all of his will, is meant to be life giving.
Okay, like you guys are...
Okay.
God has given us what his will is on this topic in so many because
he wants you to have life, not death.
Okay, that's the point.
When God says don't, a lot of times what he's saying is don't
hurt yourself.
Don't hurt yourself. Choose to sin. Choose to suffer.
We don't want that. Who likes suffering?
Right, none of us do.
And so God is giving us this law, this will.
And I also want to say this, that this God who is giving us his
will and wants it to be life giving also knows that we don't
always live up to his will.
Anybody here not sinned this week?
If you didn't sin, raise your hand.
Yes, see, none of us.
We all mess up.
Who messed up this week?
Who sinned?
Yeah, look at us.
We're a bunch of sinners, right?
And Jesus died to pay for our sin.
Aren't you glad for that?
He did.
He died to pay for our sin.
And so the approach that I have now to his will is to go, okay,
how can I have this abundant life?
Jesus said I came to have life in that more abundantly.
And so there's no way in a sermon like this for me to address
every possible situation that someone has encountered or will
encounter.
But the Bible, though, is sufficient for life and godliness.
It is.
And so our church, what I want to say to you today is our church,
our church staff, leaders in our church, Sunday school teachers,
pastors, D group leaders, we are prepared to help you walk
through whatever complicated relational issue you find yourself
in.
And the Bible is our guide as we walk through it.
Now, it is with that commitment and trust in God in His word that
I stand before you today ready to teach you what He said about
marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
Believers can handle marriage issues biblically by seeing God's
answer to these three questions about marriage.
Here's the first question.
Number one, should I get divorced?
Look at verse 10.
And unto the married I command, yet not I but the Lord.
Now, the subject is pretty clear.
Who is he talking to?
He's talking to married people, right?
And he says, yet not I but the Lord.
Now, this may be confusing to some who read it.
Later in the text he says, now I'm telling you this, I tell you
not the Lord.
Now, that's kind of weird.
By the Lord here I believe he's referring to Jesus Christ
himself.
And what he's saying is that what he's about to say is what Jesus
taught.
He's saying, I'm commanding you, I'm giving you some commands
about marriage.
And this is an original with me.
This is what Jesus said.
Does that make sense?
So he's not saying that he has no...
Later on when he says, I'm saying this not the Lord.
He's not saying that he's in disagreement with the Lord.
He's saying this is new revelation that's coming from God that
Jesus didn't say.
Does that make sense?
Are you with me?
So here he's saying, I'm going to tell you what Jesus taught.
Here's what Jesus taught.
So what he's saying, this is a new revelation.
Okay.
Under the married I command, yet not I but the Lord.
Let not the wife depart from her husband.
But if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her
husband and let the husband not put away his wife.
This idea of departing or putting away are both phrases that are
talking about divorce.
In the Greco-Roman world, in the Roman times, divorce was as easy
as a husband or wife just leaving.
That would create legal divorce, right?
In the Roman culture, if they just left and stopped living with
the person that they were married to, that would constitute divorce.
So when Paul's writing to the Corinthian church that lived in a
Roman age, he says, wives don't depart from your husbands.
Don't get divorced.
Husbands don't, and he says literally here, don't put away his
wife.
The idea of putting away was the Jewish kind of phraseology about
divorce.
Don't put away your wives.
So he says, and then he says here, but if she depart, let her
remain, what does it say?
Unmarried or to be reconciled to her husband and let the husband
put away his wife.
So the idea is wives don't divorce your husbands.
Husbands don't divorce your wives.
And if you do divorce, you're not free to remarry.
That's the teaching.
This isn't keeping with what Jesus Christ taught about marriage,
remarriage and divorce.
If you have your Bible, go to Matthew.
Now, I'm not at the end of the message, so don't stress out.
Okay?
There's more coming.
But go to Matthew chapter 19 and we're going to go to verses 1
through 11.
What did Jesus teach about divorce?
He did in verse 9.
He did a couple of times.
Chapter 19 verse 1.
And it came to pass that when Jesus had finished these
sayings, he departed from Galilee and came to the coast of
Judea beyond Jordan.
And great multitudes followed him and healed them and he healed
them there.
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him.
What were they trying to do?
Tempting.
What are they?
We want you to say something that we can get you on.
Okay?
We're trying to stick it to you.
Right?
Are you with me?
We want you to take a position that would go against, that would
make you less popular because we don't like your popularity.
Right?
What do they say?
Okay.
Saying unto him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife?
And then it says three words, read them with me.
For every cause.
Okay.
Notice the question.
Again, put away here is seen as a synonym for divorce.
Is it okay for a man to divorce his wife?
And it says here for any cause or for any reason.
The Pharisees misread what Moses wrote in the law to mean that
a man could divorce his wife for whatever reason he wanted to.
In Deuteronomy 24, 1-4, now we're going back and I'm, right down.
If you're taking notes, right down.
Deuteronomy 24, 1-4, because that's where this is all coming from.
Okay?
There's a passage there that's highly contested and talked about
by the Pharisees and beyond in Jesus' day.
When they were asking if it were permissible for someone to divorce
for quote, every cause, it was referencing this debate
because this is the language in that passage in Deuteronomy.
It would be like today if someone were to ask a politician
in our context in America, do you believe that Americans have
the right to bear arms?
Okay.
When you use that phraseology, what law are we talking about?
Second amendment.
Who understands the second amendment, right?
So when you say the right to bear arms, you know that you're,
it's referring to an argument, a position that everybody kind of
talks about in America, like gun control, second amendment,
who has those rights.
So when he says for every cause, Jesus and the Pharisees both
know we're talking about the argument over Deuteronomy 24,
verses 1-4, does that make sense?
Okay.
Jesus, what's your interpretation of that passage?
And there were two schools of thought.
Those who thought like the Jewish Rabbi Shemae, thought that
uncleanness only meant adultery.
And we're talking about going into Deuteronomy 24.
Those are part of the Hillel school thought that uncleanness
meant absolutely anything.
And so Jesus is answering the question, that question, what
school are you with?
Which position are you going to take?
Which divorces are permissible?
Any cause or only adultery?
Like which one are you going to go with?
So look at Jesus' reasoning, verse 4.
He does what he always does.
And he kind of says, the whole argument is dumb.
You're thinking about it wrong, here's the right way to think
about it.
Verse 4, and he answered and said to them, have ye not read that
he which made them at the beginning made them male and female?
Hey, by the way, at the beginning of my ministry, that wasn't
controversial, now it is.
He made them male and female, there is no third category.
Or fourth or fifth or hundred third.
Okay.
Don't you realize that he that made them at the beginning made
them male and female and said, for this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the
twain shall be one flesh.
Wherefore they are no more twain, they're no more two, but one
flesh, what therefore God hath joined together, let not man
put asunder.
How many of you have heard that phrase before?
Jesus is refocusing them for reasons for divorce from the
reasons for divorce to the purpose of marriage.
Okay.
They're focusing on what's permissible, what are we allowed
to do?
And he's saying, what's the point of marriage?
The purpose of marriage is to bring two together to be one.
God's intention for marriage was for it to be life long.
So then they ask him a question.
Verse 7, they say to him, why did Moses then command to give a
writing of divorce and to put her away?
And he said unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your
hearts, suffered you to put away your wives from the beginning,
it was not so.
Essentially Jesus is saying what Moses seemed to be indicating
in Deuteronomy 24.
Moses was regulating something that happened and not advocating
for divorce to happen.
Okay.
The point of having some kind of procedure in Deuteronomy 24 is
basically saying we know that God, people mess up and don't do
God's intention, so how do we handle when people don't do the
right thing?
Does that make sense?
He then points to remarriage, which was at the center of the
issue in Deuteronomy 24, verse 9.
And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, accept
it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commit
adultery.
And whosoever shall marry her which is put away, doth commit
adultery.
Jesus makes it very clear that divorce is not what God desires.
That the only exception that he gives here is for fornication.
The word for fornication is pornea and speaks to sexual sin.
That sexual sin apart from the spouse is adultery.
And the Greek word is moketai.
This is what Jesus taught.
God hates divorce.
Remarriage by those who have been divorced to those who have
been divorced, except for adultery, is adultery.
That's Jesus' teaching.
If someone is divorced after sexual immorality, they are free
to remarry, and that is not adultery.
Don't let the exceptions weigh more than the rule.
God's desire is for marriage to be lifelong and God honoring.
Okay?
That's the first question.
Can I get divorced?
Number two, is marriage to an unbeliever, another question he
answers now back to 1 Corinthians chapter 7, is marriage to
an unbeliever a suitable reason for divorce?
Look at verse 12.
He says, but to the rest speak I, not the Lord.
Now, again, this is not denying inspiration.
Who wrote this?
Every word of it.
Okay?
God did.
Right?
And so, this is still coming from God.
All scriptures given by inspiration of God and it's
profitable for doctor or proof, correction, instruction, and
righteousness.
And so, this is the word of God.
Okay?
So when he says to the rest I speak, not the Lord, he's saying
this is new revelation that I'm getting from God.
He's not really saying the whole book is new revelation.
Does that make sense?
This is not something that Jesus addressed.
Okay?
He's stating that this is new teaching that he's getting from
God.
If any brother, hath a wife that believeeth not and she be
pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
And the woman that has a husband that believeeth not and if he be
pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
What is this saying?
Well, Paul is making it clear that if you have made a promise of
marriage to someone who is an unbeliever, you are bound to
that promise.
Then becoming an unbeliever when you are a believer is not
sufficient grounds or you becoming a believer and then
finally realizing they are not a believer, it's not sufficient
grounds on its own for you to divorce them.
Divorce them.
How does someone find themselves in that situation?
Well, this is a common problem.
It was a problem in Paul's day in this church.
People coming to know Christ as Savior and they begin to be
transformed by the Holy Spirit.
They begin to be conformed to biblical teaching and values.
And their spouse may not have accepted Christ at least not at
the same time.
And so they find themselves in that situation married to an
unbeliever.
Paul says if you find yourself in that situation just because
you became a Christian doesn't mean you have a right to divorce
that person.
Okay.
This can also happen when someone made some kind of
profession about being a Christian and dating and engagement
season.
But then as time goes on shows themselves not to be truly a
Christian in word or in action.
It doesn't mean that people can lose their salvation.
That's not what he is teaching.
The idea is that there are some people that, oh yeah, Jesus,
I'm a Jesus guy, I'm a Jesus lady and after a while they go,
actually I'm kind of tired of the Jesus stuff.
Right.
That doesn't give you the reason to divorce them.
This situation can lead itself to frustration.
The lost spouse may be frustrated by the changes they are
seeing in the spouse that has been saved and growing in their
faith.
This happens in our church.
People get saved and they have a group of friends and the group
of friends they hung out with, they used to go drinking and
all of a sudden the same friends are inviting you to go and
you are like, I don't want to go do that.
Man, you are lame.
You used to be fun and now you are lame.
Right.
And so there is like this thing that happens.
Right.
And that can happen in a marriage.
Right.
Paul makes it clear that this is not a reason though for a
believer to get divorced.
He gives reason for it here.
Why.
Because the believing husband is sanctified by the wife and the
believing wife is sanctified by the husband.
And your children are unclaimed but now they are holy.
What is Paul teaching here?
He is not saying that we can be saved for other people.
Does that make sense?
He is not saying that I can become a Christian on behalf of my
children.
Your children need to make their own decisions.
Your wife needs to make their own decisions.
Does that make sense?
What is he saying?
He is saying that when you live a life that honors God in front of
them, they get to see that transformation and sometimes God
uses that transformation to bring about what he wants in their
life.
Now here is an interesting passage and this is going to be
really helpful.
In Peter, I think it is second Peter, maybe it is first Peter,
Peter addresses wives that are believing to have husbands that
are not believing.
And he basically says this, this is the Ben Jennings version, the
BJV.
Okay.
He says you wives that are believing, that have unbelieving
husbands, just live a life that honors God in front of your
husband and don't nag them with the gospel.
He is not saying that they should never talk to him about the
gospel.
He is saying if you just are like Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, have you
considered Jesus?
I did your laundry.
By the way, Jesus, you are not going to attract your husband,
you are going to push him away.
Does that make sense?
Are you with me?
It is like that guy that finally got in the pyramid scheme.
And all he wants to talk to you about is have you signed up for
my pyramid scheme?
They don't want that.
He is saying, though, that that spouse has a front row seat to
the transformation in your life.
Well, Paul is claiming that a believing spouse or parent may be
the best opportunity for that unbelieving spouse or child to be
influenced by the gospel.
If divorce were to happen, you lose that influence.
At this point, I want to add a practical teaching, like I said,
that passage there is in 1 Peter chapter 3.
I will go down to verse 2.
I will go down to verse 3.
We will read 1-4.
Likewise, you wise, be in subjection to your husbands,
that if any may not the word, they may be without the word be
won by the conversation or the lifestyle of the wives.
Verse 2, while they behold your chaste conversation,
coupled with fear.
Who is adorning, let it not be the outward adorning and the
devil of gold or the putting on of apparel,
but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not
corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is
in the sight of God of great price.
What is he saying?
He is saying, wives, don't just always nag your husband into it.
Let the inside of your living and your heart and the transformation
that's happening be what speaks for you.
So, if you find yourself married to an unbeliever,
there's a time to speak and there's a time to share the gospel,
but know that you can't make every single conversation a nagging
conversation about Jesus.
Let your life do the preaching.
Sometimes even in that scenario, the unbelieving spouse has a
problem though with the believing spouse.
So, that leads us to this next question.
Ready?
Number 3, if the unbeliever divorces me, am I bound to stay
unmarried?
Look at verse 15.
He says, but if the unbelieving, meaning the unbelieving spouse,
depart, what does he say?
Let him depart.
Like I said, in the Greco-Roman culture there was a practice of
a kind of divorce that went like this.
If someone had a problem with their spouse, they could just leave.
The leaving itself was the divorce.
They could just leave and decide not to come back.
Again, this was seen as divorce.
It didn't have to have a legal proclamation.
What Paul is saying to believers who have an unbelieving spouse
that leaves is this, let them leave.
Let them leave.
The spirit of what he's saying is that a believer who is frustrated
with their spouse is not permitted to do things that would cause
their unbelieving spouse to leave so that they can marry another
or to be freed from the promise of responsibility.
What do I mean by that?
He's not teaching that if you find yourself married to an unbeliever
and you're, hey, technically if he departs, then I'm good.
So I'm just going to be really annoying.
And then they depart.
That's not what he's saying.
What he's saying is if you and your following Jesus and your
following God start living a life that then frustrates them
because you're being obedient and they have it up to here and
they leave, at that point, let them go.
He says, just to make it clear in the verse, a brother or a sister
is not under bondage in such cases.
But God has called us and here's the clear teaching on it.
God has called us to peace.
There it is, yeah.
A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God
has called us to peace.
Bondage here means bondage to the promise that has been made.
What he's saying here is that in this case you're free to be
married again.
You are not bound to the unbelieving spouse.
You are not bound to fighting with that spouse to try to get
them to be a believer and come back to you.
And since they won't, you're stuck.
If you marry again, it's not adultery.
That's what he's saying in that case.
Verse 16, he says this, for what knows thou, oh wife, whether
thou shalt save thy husband?
You know what you ought to care about?
I want my husband, if you're a believer, they're an unbeliever.
What should you want?
I want them to know Jesus.
That's what we're going for.
What knows thou, oh wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband?
Or how knows thou, oh man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
Fighting and bickering about things will not promote Christ in
them and to them.
Living in peace as a transformed believer in Christ is the best
thing that you can do for Christ for the unbelieving, departing
spouse and for yourself.
Make sense?
Okay.
I want to give you a summary of what the Bible teaches about
marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
And I know this may sting a little, but I'm going to give you
this and then I'm going to give you some hope at the end.
Are you ready?
Number one.
Marriage is defined as a covenant relationship between a man
and a woman for a lifetime of fidelity.
Instead of telling you what you shouldn't do, let's talk about
what marriage is for.
Right?
What is marriage about?
It's two becoming one.
In covenant relationship, a man and a woman, a man and a woman,
that's marriage.
If it's a man and a man or woman and woman, it's not marriage.
Okay?
I don't hate those people.
I'm just saying that's true.
Marriage is defined as a covenant relationship between a man and
a woman for a lifetime of fidelity, faithfulness to each other.
Number two.
Marriage is God's idea.
It's tied to our anatomy.
It's how he designed us.
Marriage is God's idea.
He designed it, here it is, to picture Christ's relationship with
the church.
He says, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and
gave himself for it.
Wives submit to your husband as the church submits to Jesus.
Submits to your husband in everything.
That's the picture.
I'll talk more about that in a second.
Number three.
Divorce is fundamentally the breaking of that covenant promise.
That's hard to hear, but it's true.
Divorce is fundamentally the breaking of that covenant promise.
Number four.
Those who divorce for unbiblical reasons are not permitted to
remarry.
That's the biblical teaching.
God's desire, God's will for you is not to remarry if you
divorce for reasons other than adultery or an unbelieving spouse
leaving you.
Number five.
Jesus allowed for divorce in cases of adultery.
Right?
And then, and thus he allows for remarriage when you're the
person that has adultery committed against you.
Number six.
Believers ought to marry only other believers.
The Bible teaches that we are not to be unequally yoked with
unbelievers.
Now that particular teaching where it says don't be unequally
yoked with unbelievers, who here knows what a yoke is?
Okay?
A yoke, you guys have done a lot of plowing.
Are you going to do some plowing?
A yoke is where two animals are, they have a thing that connects
these two animals together.
It's called a yoke, right?
And you put two animals in it.
You want your two animals to be equally yoked.
What does that mean?
That means that they have the same direction and they have a
lot of times the same kind of horse power.
Are you with me?
That when they're going in that direction, if you have one that's
legitimately a lot stronger than the other, they're going to pull
harder and what happens to the line you're trying to, are you
with me?
So this isn't just true for marriage, this is true for
business, right?
If you get in a partnership in a business and one of you thinks
one way and the other you think another way, what happens is
you yoke yourself because you're tied in business together but
then you're going like, does that make sense?
So he says Christians ought to be yoked with, you've got to be
equally yoked.
If you're married, you're yoked, man.
Who agrees?
If you're married, you're yoked, right?
Like, my wife is so yoked that she cares about my breath in the
morning.
Are you with me?
You're yoked.
Why do you think she wants me to put my dirty clothes off the
floor into the hamper?
Because we're yoked, we're together.
We're doing life, we're doing life together.
Isn't it good?
You're so lucky.
And I am too.
No.
Right.
We are yoked.
And so this idea is you want to be going in the same direction.
I think there are some believers who are married to other people
who are believers but in mindset they're unequally yoked.
Right?
Because even though technically they may be saved, they're not
necessarily having the same mindset.
Does that make sense?
Well, we're just going to have our kids in church.
And I just want to go once a month.
Well, that's a problem.
Right?
You have two different kind of ways of thinking.
So believers ought to marry only other believers and you need to be
equally yoked.
No. 7.
If someone finds themselves married to an unbeliever, this is not
cause for divorce.
Okay?
You don't get to just, oh, I'm a believer and they're not now so
we're unequally yoked so I'm going to divorce them.
That's not how it works.
No. 8.
If the unbelieving spouse divorces because of their own unbelief,
then the believer is not bound to the marriage when considering
remarriage.
That's what he teaches right here in 1 Corinthians 7.
Now, that's the summary.
Why did God choose and design marriage to be this way?
Why?
Because ultimately he had in mind that this would be a picture of
his relationship to the church, his relationship to people who
believe in Christ.
And this God who wants to save you has said, I will never leave
thee nor forsake thee.
And guess what?
If you're bound to Christ, if you've gotten saved, you ain't
leaving.
Who's glad for that?
Yeah.
No man can pluck them out of my hand.
Are you with me?
No.
So if that's the picture of the real, if marriage is a real picture
of Christ's commitment to us and of our security in Christ,
then when he designs the thing that he's pointing to, he will
make this desire to say, hey, you shouldn't, what God has put
together, let no man put us under.
It's not against you.
Does that make sense?
I'm trying to sell you and I feel like you're not being sold.
God is trying to do something for us.
And what he's trying to do for us is to give us life.
And so let me tell you about something that Christ did to
give us life.
God became flesh and dwelt among us.
He lived a perfect life.
He never did anything wrong.
He died on the cross.
And when he died on the cross, he wasn't paying for any of his
own sins.
He was paying for your sin and mine.
You're like, well, you're telling me I'm a sinner because I got
divorced and I didn't get divorced for the right reasons.
Okay, I'm telling you that.
God doesn't desire that.
He doesn't want that for you.
But guess what?
He still loves you.
He died for that.
And he wants you to have a great life.
And so what does that mean?
Does God who died on the cross for your sins, he was buried and
he rose again the third day.
And the Bible says that if we call on him to save us, he'll
save us.
He who comes to me, he said, I will in no wise cast out.
One of the burdens I feel about a sermon like this is knowing
that I can't speak to every situation.
I know I can't necessarily speak to every situation.
But what I know is this.
There is redemption and life and grace and peace in Christ.
There is forgiveness in Christ.
And there is a whole lot of joy and peace and amazing,
abundant.
What else can I say?
It's amazing when you do things God's way.
There is so much blessing that comes with obedience.
And so I'm looking over here at the teenagers who are single.
And I'm saying to you, you should think about God's plan for
your life when you think about this area of where you get
married.
You need to be careful about who you date because dating is
practice for marriage.
In some ways that's how it ends up happening.
And if you're like in this repetition of I'm going to date
and then break up and then date and break up and then date.
You're like practicing divorce.
That's not a good plan.
Right?
You should be careful about that.
And you should consider, we're going to talk about this in the
coming weeks.
Marriage is for the most people, but marriage isn't for every
person.
There are some people that God calls to singleness and you're
not inferior if you're single.
Is this thing on?
You're not inferior if you're single.
Amen.
Single people are people too.
Amen.
And we love them, right?
And if there's somebody that's 28 years old and they're not
married and don't, you got to get married.
Let them figure it out.
Stop trying to match make them.
If they're like, hey, I need to get married, help me.
I'll help.
Right?
That's fine.
Some people need that.
That's good.
Let's do things God's way.
And when we don't do things God's way and we mess up, there's
this beautiful word, metanoia, repentance.
If we confess our sins, say, forgive us our sins and cleanse
us from all the righteousness.
My life is complicated, pastor Ben.
I don't know what these things have happened and you know what,
God can be with you in your mess.
And He can help you through your mess.
I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.
God, I love you so much.
I think you're right.