Do you know the difference between talking stage,
soft launch, and exclusive? If these words are
confusing, you are not alone. English classes
don't teach this vocabulary and textbooks don't
explain it. But these words are everywhere in
modern dating. And today, you're going to learn
what they mean. Welcome back to the Learn English
Podcast, the podcast teaching English in context
so you can learn naturally. It is almost Valentine's
Day. So to celebrate the day of love, we are
going to focus on modern dating vocabulary. These
are words and phrases that you usually do not
see in English textbooks, but these are words
that you will hear in conversation and see on
social media. These are real life terms that
people use when they're talking about dating
and relationships. So if you're ready to learn
these modern dating terms, then follow along
because we're about to begin. Now let's start
with these dating terms. Our first term is slide
into someone's DMs. A DM is a direct message.
These are messages that are not public on social
media, but a private message between two or more
people. So this is a phrase that you use when
someone sends you a direct message on social
media. It's not just any type of direct message.
To slide into someone's DMs means that you send
someone a message because you're interested in
them romantically. For example, you might hear
the sentence, she slid into his DMs after seeing
his photo. That means that maybe she sent him
a flirty emoji or a message saying that she wanted
to date him That would be an example of sliding
into someone's DMS when you slide into someone's
DMS it's also because you're Thirsty in normal
English thirsty means that you need something
to drink like water But in dating English, it
means that you're trying too hard to get attention
or to get into a romantic relationship with someone.
This is usually a negative term and a way of
making fun of someone for their actions. For
example, let's say that there is someone who
is posting a lot of gym selfies. They're working
out and they're taking pictures of themselves
working out. And they're doing that because they
know those pictures get a lot of compliments
on social media. That would be being thirsty,
trying to get attention from people with all
of these gym selfies. You might have heard a
song by the rapper Megan Thee Stallion. She has
a lyric in her song, Girls in the Hood, where
she talks about not being thirsty. This is also
related to the term thirst trap. A thirst trap
is the photo that you actually post on social
media to get that attention. And this is a very
common term you will see on social media. Maybe
not as negative as being thirsty, but when someone
posts a very obvious, attractive photo of themselves,
you can definitely call that photo a thirst trap.
All those thirst trap photos might get you interested
in someone. Interested in means that you would
like to maybe go on a date with someone, maybe
start some type of romantic relationship with
them. For example, maybe one of your friends
comes up to you and says that they have a coworker
who is interested in you. That means that their
coworker maybe would be interested in starting
a romantic relationship with you, going on a
date with you. If you are also interested in
the person who is interested in you, you might
move on to the talking phase. The talking stage
occurs at the beginning of a romantic relationship
or possible romantic relationship. The key thing
here is that you are not dating. You have not
gone on a date with this person. You are not
boyfriend and girlfriend, but maybe you will
be. You're interested in each other. You want
to get to know each other more. This means that
you are talking to the person maybe on the phone.
But of course, with modern technology, you might
also just be messaging them. This stage can be
fun because it's exciting to maybe start dating
someone new to learn more about this new person.
But it can also become a little frustrating if
it lasts too long. You will hear this talking
stage when people are discussing where they are
with someone. Sometimes people use it as a way
to complain. Maybe they want to go on a date
with someone, but they feel like they're stuck
in the talking stage, that they can't get past
that talking stage. I know when I was in high
school, I had a friend who was always talking
to this particular guy. They talked all the time.
They messaged each other all the time. They never
actually went on a date and they never became
boyfriend and girlfriend. They just spent years
talking to each other and liking each other,
but never moving to be more than that. And that's
when it can get frustrating. That's when people
can complain that they're stuck in the talking
stage. Another term that you might hear that's
very similar to this is situationship. Situationship
is a portmanteau. I mentioned portmanteaus when
I did my recession vocabulary episode. A portmanteau
is when you take two words, you combine them,
and you make a new word. So situationship is
the combination of situation and relationship.
Situationship. A situationship is when you are
more than friends with someone, but you are not
actually boyfriend and girlfriend so you don't
have a defined relationship you wouldn't call
that person your boyfriend or your girlfriend
you might spend all of your time with them you
might act like you are boyfriend and girlfriend
you might be romantically or physically emotionally
involved with this person but you don't have
the official title of boyfriend or girlfriend
So there's no real clarity into what your relationship
is. And this usually happens when people are
a little bit afraid. They might not know what
the other person wants, or they might be afraid
that what they want is not what the other person
wants. For that reason, this is usually a difficult
situation to be in. And so when you hear this
term, it's usually in a negative context. Usually
people do not want to be in a situationship.
When people first start dating, there is that
new dating phase. And one of the terms that you
might hear is blind date. A blind date is a date
that you go on when you do not know the other
person and you have not met them before. Blind
dates are usually a little bit scary, a little
bit nerve wracking. They can be fun. Maybe they'll
go well and you'll want a second date or maybe
they'll go very badly and you never want to see
that person again. This type of date might happen
because someone set you up. Set you up means
that someone arranged it. For example, this was
in the news recently with a story about the singer
Taylor Swift and her fiance, Travis Kelsey. The
stories talked about how her mother set them
up when they went on their first date. Now, if
you know that person ahead of time, let's say
you've been in the talking stage with them, or
if you've been on a dating app and you've seen
their pictures and you've seen their profile
and you've kind of messaged them, that would
not be a blind date. However, sometimes when
you are on those dating apps, when you go to
meet someone in person, you might find out that
they are not who they said they were. And a term
for that is catfish. Catfish is when someone
misrepresents who they are or what they look
like. For example, maybe you are on a dating
app. You see this very attractive person. And
then when you show up for the date, they look
20 kilos heavier and 20 years older. That would
be an example of catfishing. They misrepresented
what they looked like so that you would go on
a date with them. Even worse is when someone
uses a fake photograph or fake identity. Usually
this is someone who is trying to scam, someone
who's trying to get money from you by pretending
to be someone else. This happened to one of my
coworkers a few years ago. thought she was messaging
someone on a dating app who lived an hour away
from us. And it ended up being someone from a
completely different country who was really just
trying to get money. So usually when you say
that someone is catfishing or that you were catfished,
that is not a good thing. There's also been a
number of examples in pop culture. There have
been celebrities who've been involved in catfishing.
And there was even a documentary and a TV show,
both of which were named Catfish. If you get
past those first initial dates, if you are dating
someone, one of the ways that you can say that
is to say that you are seeing someone. So if
someone says that they are seeing someone, that
means that they are dating somebody and that
they aren't looking for another romantic relationship
because they are involved with a particular person.
This is usually a term that you use at the beginning
of a relationship. It's also a term that you
can hear in TV shows and movies and songs. For
example, here is a lyric from a Gloria Estefan
song. Seeing someone is a way of saying that
you are dating someone without using the terms
boyfriend or girlfriend. Something that's similar
is no labels. No labels is when you are dating
someone, when you are seeing someone, but you
don't officially call them your boyfriend or
girlfriend. You might hear someone say that they
are going no labels right now. They just aren't
using that official boyfriend girlfriend term.
And people usually pair this with the phrase
wanting to have fun. So someone says, oh, I just
want to have fun right now. And people usually
say this when they are dating multiple people
at a time, when they are involved with multiple
people. That no labels and just wanting to have
fun is really an indication that they do not
want an official relationship. They want to keep
things very, very casual. It can be fun for people.
Maybe people just want to have fun. They want
to go date people. But it can also be a little
bit uneasy or a little bit uncomfortable, just
like that situationship. if one person wants
to be boyfriend and girlfriend and the other
person doesn't, that can create some conflict,
that can be a little bit confusing, and that
can be a difficult situation to be in. There
was a movie a number of years ago called 500
Days of Summer starring Zooey Deschanel and Joseph
Gordon -Levitt, and this movie shows that situation
where two people are in this no -labels relationship
and the conflict that can occur because of it.
Like I said, that just having fun usually gives
the connotation that the person wants to date
multiple people. Another term for that is open
relationship. An open relationship is when the
people in the relationship agree that they can
date other people. So you know ahead of time
that this is the situation between you and the
person you're in a relationship with. Some people
like that. Some people don't. If you do not want
to be in an open relationship you would want
an exclusive relationship. Exclusive means that
you are only dating one person. You are not dating
anybody else and they are not dating anybody
else. When you get into an exclusive relationship,
that means that you are getting serious. Getting
serious means that you are wanting to get into
an official relationship, an exclusive relationship.
You are looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
That means that the relationship is getting deeper
and it is no longer casual or just for fun. It
is a more serious official relationship. so if
you are casually dating somebody if you are in
a relationship that has no labels and the person
asks you are we going to get more serious or
do you want to get serious they're asking if
you're ready to take the next step if you're
ready to be in a more committed relationship
when you decide to get serious with someone you
can also soft launch your relationship Soft launch
means that you are not officially using the term
boyfriend or girlfriend in social media, but
you are hinting that you are dating somebody
online. So for example, maybe you post a photo
of you and this other person sharing some drinks
or maybe holding hands, but you don't call the
person your boyfriend. You don't call the person
your girlfriend. You just have this hint that
you're in a relationship with someone. So you
will see that online people will say that they
are soft launching their relationship. And you
especially see this with celebrities. For example,
the pop star Katy Perry recently split with the
actor Orlando Bloom. And then a little while
after she broke up with Orlando Bloom, there
were pictures of her with the former Prime Minister
of Canada, Justin Trudeau. they were not calling
each other boyfriend or girlfriend they were
saying that they were still just friends but
it seemed like they were dating it seemed like
they were a couple now when you actually decide
to call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend
on social media that is called a hard launch
a hard launch is when you do make it official
on a social media that you are in a relationship
You post photos of yourself with this other person.
You call them your boyfriend or your girlfriend.
And now everyone knows that you are dating. Again,
you see this with celebrities. Like I said, Katy
Perry and Justin Trudeau had a soft launch to
the relationship. But then a few weeks later,
they had a hard launch where they posted pictures
of themselves and they made it official that
they were a couple. I hope you enjoyed this episode
and I hope you are now better able to understand
these modern vocabulary terms. Like I said, these
were not textbook English vocabulary words, but
they are words that native speakers use. You'll
see them on social media. You'll hear them in
TV shows and movies. So these words will really
help you with your fluency because you'll be
better able to understand a native speaker when
they use these terms around you. If you liked
this episode, if you want more vocabulary episodes
like this in the future, leave a comment and
let me know if you think this was helpful. And
if you think this will help someone else when
they are learning English, please share the episode
with them. That way they can continue to build
their English fluency and we can continue to
reach a new audience. You can also leave a review
on whatever app you are listening to this podcast
on. You can follow us on social media or go to
our website, learnenglishpod .com. And remember
to follow the show so you don't miss our next
episode when it comes out next week. Until then.
Keep learning English!