WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.779 Do you know the difference between talking stage, 00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:06.719 soft launch, and exclusive? If these words are 00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:10.119 confusing, you are not alone. English classes 00:00:10.119 --> 00:00:14.160 don't teach this vocabulary and textbooks don't 00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:17.460 explain it. But these words are everywhere in 00:00:17.460 --> 00:00:20.559 modern dating. And today, you're going to learn 00:00:20.559 --> 00:00:23.280 what they mean. Welcome back to the Learn English 00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:25.980 Podcast, the podcast teaching English in context 00:00:25.980 --> 00:00:29.640 so you can learn naturally. It is almost Valentine's 00:00:29.640 --> 00:00:33.200 Day. So to celebrate the day of love, we are 00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:37.780 going to focus on modern dating vocabulary. These 00:00:37.780 --> 00:00:39.960 are words and phrases that you usually do not 00:00:39.960 --> 00:00:43.619 see in English textbooks, but these are words 00:00:43.619 --> 00:00:46.479 that you will hear in conversation and see on 00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:49.320 social media. These are real life terms that 00:00:49.320 --> 00:00:51.880 people use when they're talking about dating 00:00:51.880 --> 00:00:54.880 and relationships. So if you're ready to learn 00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:57.799 these modern dating terms, then follow along 00:00:57.799 --> 00:01:06.299 because we're about to begin. Now let's start 00:01:06.299 --> 00:01:09.799 with these dating terms. Our first term is slide 00:01:09.799 --> 00:01:14.799 into someone's DMs. A DM is a direct message. 00:01:14.900 --> 00:01:18.140 These are messages that are not public on social 00:01:18.140 --> 00:01:21.819 media, but a private message between two or more 00:01:21.819 --> 00:01:24.489 people. So this is a phrase that you use when 00:01:24.489 --> 00:01:27.049 someone sends you a direct message on social 00:01:27.049 --> 00:01:30.670 media. It's not just any type of direct message. 00:01:30.989 --> 00:01:34.390 To slide into someone's DMs means that you send 00:01:34.390 --> 00:01:37.269 someone a message because you're interested in 00:01:37.269 --> 00:01:40.750 them romantically. For example, you might hear 00:01:40.750 --> 00:01:44.489 the sentence, she slid into his DMs after seeing 00:01:44.489 --> 00:01:48.239 his photo. That means that maybe she sent him 00:01:48.239 --> 00:01:52.340 a flirty emoji or a message saying that she wanted 00:01:52.340 --> 00:01:55.840 to date him That would be an example of sliding 00:01:55.840 --> 00:02:00.340 into someone's DMS when you slide into someone's 00:02:00.340 --> 00:02:04.620 DMS it's also because you're Thirsty in normal 00:02:04.620 --> 00:02:06.739 English thirsty means that you need something 00:02:06.739 --> 00:02:10.460 to drink like water But in dating English, it 00:02:10.460 --> 00:02:13.439 means that you're trying too hard to get attention 00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:17.639 or to get into a romantic relationship with someone. 00:02:18.080 --> 00:02:21.699 This is usually a negative term and a way of 00:02:21.699 --> 00:02:25.300 making fun of someone for their actions. For 00:02:25.300 --> 00:02:27.740 example, let's say that there is someone who 00:02:27.740 --> 00:02:31.240 is posting a lot of gym selfies. They're working 00:02:31.240 --> 00:02:33.080 out and they're taking pictures of themselves 00:02:33.080 --> 00:02:35.560 working out. And they're doing that because they 00:02:35.560 --> 00:02:38.419 know those pictures get a lot of compliments 00:02:38.419 --> 00:02:42.199 on social media. That would be being thirsty, 00:02:42.560 --> 00:02:45.419 trying to get attention from people with all 00:02:45.419 --> 00:02:49.259 of these gym selfies. You might have heard a 00:02:49.259 --> 00:02:52.819 song by the rapper Megan Thee Stallion. She has 00:02:52.819 --> 00:02:55.840 a lyric in her song, Girls in the Hood, where 00:02:55.840 --> 00:03:07.169 she talks about not being thirsty. This is also 00:03:07.169 --> 00:03:10.990 related to the term thirst trap. A thirst trap 00:03:10.990 --> 00:03:13.349 is the photo that you actually post on social 00:03:13.349 --> 00:03:16.370 media to get that attention. And this is a very 00:03:16.370 --> 00:03:18.949 common term you will see on social media. Maybe 00:03:18.949 --> 00:03:21.810 not as negative as being thirsty, but when someone 00:03:21.810 --> 00:03:25.509 posts a very obvious, attractive photo of themselves, 00:03:25.610 --> 00:03:28.949 you can definitely call that photo a thirst trap. 00:03:29.229 --> 00:03:32.669 All those thirst trap photos might get you interested 00:03:32.669 --> 00:03:37.219 in someone. Interested in means that you would 00:03:37.219 --> 00:03:40.340 like to maybe go on a date with someone, maybe 00:03:40.340 --> 00:03:43.580 start some type of romantic relationship with 00:03:43.580 --> 00:03:46.539 them. For example, maybe one of your friends 00:03:46.539 --> 00:03:49.060 comes up to you and says that they have a coworker 00:03:49.060 --> 00:03:51.979 who is interested in you. That means that their 00:03:51.979 --> 00:03:54.819 coworker maybe would be interested in starting 00:03:54.819 --> 00:03:57.460 a romantic relationship with you, going on a 00:03:57.460 --> 00:04:01.250 date with you. If you are also interested in 00:04:01.250 --> 00:04:04.490 the person who is interested in you, you might 00:04:04.490 --> 00:04:08.129 move on to the talking phase. The talking stage 00:04:08.129 --> 00:04:11.710 occurs at the beginning of a romantic relationship 00:04:11.710 --> 00:04:15.009 or possible romantic relationship. The key thing 00:04:15.009 --> 00:04:18.029 here is that you are not dating. You have not 00:04:18.029 --> 00:04:21.689 gone on a date with this person. You are not 00:04:21.689 --> 00:04:24.689 boyfriend and girlfriend, but maybe you will 00:04:24.689 --> 00:04:27.339 be. You're interested in each other. You want 00:04:27.339 --> 00:04:30.420 to get to know each other more. This means that 00:04:30.420 --> 00:04:33.519 you are talking to the person maybe on the phone. 00:04:33.699 --> 00:04:36.319 But of course, with modern technology, you might 00:04:36.319 --> 00:04:39.540 also just be messaging them. This stage can be 00:04:39.540 --> 00:04:43.060 fun because it's exciting to maybe start dating 00:04:43.060 --> 00:04:45.740 someone new to learn more about this new person. 00:04:45.839 --> 00:04:49.319 But it can also become a little frustrating if 00:04:49.319 --> 00:04:52.600 it lasts too long. You will hear this talking 00:04:52.600 --> 00:04:55.899 stage when people are discussing where they are 00:04:55.899 --> 00:04:58.639 with someone. Sometimes people use it as a way 00:04:58.639 --> 00:05:01.740 to complain. Maybe they want to go on a date 00:05:01.740 --> 00:05:03.740 with someone, but they feel like they're stuck 00:05:03.740 --> 00:05:06.839 in the talking stage, that they can't get past 00:05:06.839 --> 00:05:09.879 that talking stage. I know when I was in high 00:05:09.879 --> 00:05:12.620 school, I had a friend who was always talking 00:05:12.620 --> 00:05:16.980 to this particular guy. They talked all the time. 00:05:16.980 --> 00:05:20.389 They messaged each other all the time. They never 00:05:20.389 --> 00:05:23.350 actually went on a date and they never became 00:05:23.350 --> 00:05:26.069 boyfriend and girlfriend. They just spent years 00:05:26.069 --> 00:05:29.769 talking to each other and liking each other, 00:05:29.810 --> 00:05:33.850 but never moving to be more than that. And that's 00:05:33.850 --> 00:05:35.670 when it can get frustrating. That's when people 00:05:35.670 --> 00:05:38.790 can complain that they're stuck in the talking 00:05:38.790 --> 00:05:42.209 stage. Another term that you might hear that's 00:05:42.209 --> 00:05:46.699 very similar to this is situationship. Situationship 00:05:46.699 --> 00:05:49.839 is a portmanteau. I mentioned portmanteaus when 00:05:49.839 --> 00:05:53.600 I did my recession vocabulary episode. A portmanteau 00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:56.860 is when you take two words, you combine them, 00:05:56.920 --> 00:06:00.339 and you make a new word. So situationship is 00:06:00.339 --> 00:06:04.120 the combination of situation and relationship. 00:06:05.420 --> 00:06:08.319 Situationship. A situationship is when you are 00:06:08.319 --> 00:06:11.319 more than friends with someone, but you are not 00:06:11.639 --> 00:06:14.740 actually boyfriend and girlfriend so you don't 00:06:14.740 --> 00:06:17.660 have a defined relationship you wouldn't call 00:06:17.660 --> 00:06:20.100 that person your boyfriend or your girlfriend 00:06:20.100 --> 00:06:22.800 you might spend all of your time with them you 00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:25.300 might act like you are boyfriend and girlfriend 00:06:25.300 --> 00:06:28.839 you might be romantically or physically emotionally 00:06:28.839 --> 00:06:32.519 involved with this person but you don't have 00:06:32.519 --> 00:06:35.819 the official title of boyfriend or girlfriend 00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:39.959 So there's no real clarity into what your relationship 00:06:39.959 --> 00:06:44.199 is. And this usually happens when people are 00:06:44.199 --> 00:06:47.060 a little bit afraid. They might not know what 00:06:47.060 --> 00:06:49.519 the other person wants, or they might be afraid 00:06:49.519 --> 00:06:53.459 that what they want is not what the other person 00:06:53.459 --> 00:06:56.459 wants. For that reason, this is usually a difficult 00:06:56.459 --> 00:06:59.430 situation to be in. And so when you hear this 00:06:59.430 --> 00:07:03.029 term, it's usually in a negative context. Usually 00:07:03.029 --> 00:07:06.730 people do not want to be in a situationship. 00:07:07.149 --> 00:07:10.449 When people first start dating, there is that 00:07:10.449 --> 00:07:13.529 new dating phase. And one of the terms that you 00:07:13.529 --> 00:07:18.050 might hear is blind date. A blind date is a date 00:07:18.050 --> 00:07:21.110 that you go on when you do not know the other 00:07:21.110 --> 00:07:24.550 person and you have not met them before. Blind 00:07:24.550 --> 00:07:26.790 dates are usually a little bit scary, a little 00:07:26.790 --> 00:07:29.680 bit nerve wracking. They can be fun. Maybe they'll 00:07:29.680 --> 00:07:32.399 go well and you'll want a second date or maybe 00:07:32.399 --> 00:07:35.040 they'll go very badly and you never want to see 00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:38.439 that person again. This type of date might happen 00:07:38.439 --> 00:07:41.459 because someone set you up. Set you up means 00:07:41.459 --> 00:07:44.540 that someone arranged it. For example, this was 00:07:44.540 --> 00:07:48.519 in the news recently with a story about the singer 00:07:48.519 --> 00:07:52.199 Taylor Swift and her fiance, Travis Kelsey. The 00:07:52.199 --> 00:07:55.240 stories talked about how her mother set them 00:07:55.240 --> 00:07:58.920 up when they went on their first date. Now, if 00:07:58.920 --> 00:08:01.360 you know that person ahead of time, let's say 00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:03.560 you've been in the talking stage with them, or 00:08:03.560 --> 00:08:05.899 if you've been on a dating app and you've seen 00:08:05.899 --> 00:08:07.439 their pictures and you've seen their profile 00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:10.060 and you've kind of messaged them, that would 00:08:10.060 --> 00:08:14.310 not be a blind date. However, sometimes when 00:08:14.310 --> 00:08:18.470 you are on those dating apps, when you go to 00:08:18.470 --> 00:08:22.009 meet someone in person, you might find out that 00:08:22.009 --> 00:08:26.449 they are not who they said they were. And a term 00:08:26.449 --> 00:08:30.610 for that is catfish. Catfish is when someone 00:08:30.610 --> 00:08:34.490 misrepresents who they are or what they look 00:08:34.490 --> 00:08:37.690 like. For example, maybe you are on a dating 00:08:37.690 --> 00:08:39.940 app. You see this very attractive person. And 00:08:39.940 --> 00:08:41.679 then when you show up for the date, they look 00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:46.379 20 kilos heavier and 20 years older. That would 00:08:46.379 --> 00:08:49.139 be an example of catfishing. They misrepresented 00:08:49.139 --> 00:08:52.059 what they looked like so that you would go on 00:08:52.059 --> 00:08:54.659 a date with them. Even worse is when someone 00:08:54.659 --> 00:08:58.399 uses a fake photograph or fake identity. Usually 00:08:58.399 --> 00:09:01.259 this is someone who is trying to scam, someone 00:09:01.259 --> 00:09:04.259 who's trying to get money from you by pretending 00:09:04.259 --> 00:09:07.159 to be someone else. This happened to one of my 00:09:07.159 --> 00:09:10.600 coworkers a few years ago. thought she was messaging 00:09:10.600 --> 00:09:13.980 someone on a dating app who lived an hour away 00:09:13.980 --> 00:09:17.179 from us. And it ended up being someone from a 00:09:17.179 --> 00:09:19.139 completely different country who was really just 00:09:19.139 --> 00:09:22.360 trying to get money. So usually when you say 00:09:22.360 --> 00:09:25.440 that someone is catfishing or that you were catfished, 00:09:25.500 --> 00:09:28.070 that is not a good thing. There's also been a 00:09:28.070 --> 00:09:30.850 number of examples in pop culture. There have 00:09:30.850 --> 00:09:33.629 been celebrities who've been involved in catfishing. 00:09:33.889 --> 00:09:37.809 And there was even a documentary and a TV show, 00:09:37.909 --> 00:09:41.350 both of which were named Catfish. If you get 00:09:41.350 --> 00:09:45.629 past those first initial dates, if you are dating 00:09:45.629 --> 00:09:49.129 someone, one of the ways that you can say that 00:09:49.129 --> 00:09:52.210 is to say that you are seeing someone. So if 00:09:52.210 --> 00:09:54.409 someone says that they are seeing someone, that 00:09:54.409 --> 00:09:57.769 means that they are dating somebody and that 00:09:57.769 --> 00:10:01.690 they aren't looking for another romantic relationship 00:10:01.690 --> 00:10:04.730 because they are involved with a particular person. 00:10:04.970 --> 00:10:08.169 This is usually a term that you use at the beginning 00:10:08.169 --> 00:10:10.490 of a relationship. It's also a term that you 00:10:10.490 --> 00:10:13.929 can hear in TV shows and movies and songs. For 00:10:13.929 --> 00:10:17.830 example, here is a lyric from a Gloria Estefan 00:10:17.830 --> 00:10:27.840 song. Seeing someone is a way of saying that 00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:30.940 you are dating someone without using the terms 00:10:30.940 --> 00:10:34.039 boyfriend or girlfriend. Something that's similar 00:10:34.039 --> 00:10:38.480 is no labels. No labels is when you are dating 00:10:38.480 --> 00:10:41.159 someone, when you are seeing someone, but you 00:10:41.159 --> 00:10:44.240 don't officially call them your boyfriend or 00:10:44.240 --> 00:10:47.210 girlfriend. You might hear someone say that they 00:10:47.210 --> 00:10:50.190 are going no labels right now. They just aren't 00:10:50.190 --> 00:10:52.850 using that official boyfriend girlfriend term. 00:10:52.990 --> 00:10:55.850 And people usually pair this with the phrase 00:10:55.850 --> 00:10:59.190 wanting to have fun. So someone says, oh, I just 00:10:59.190 --> 00:11:01.929 want to have fun right now. And people usually 00:11:01.929 --> 00:11:05.409 say this when they are dating multiple people 00:11:05.409 --> 00:11:08.570 at a time, when they are involved with multiple 00:11:08.570 --> 00:11:11.990 people. That no labels and just wanting to have 00:11:11.990 --> 00:11:15.350 fun is really an indication that they do not 00:11:15.350 --> 00:11:18.470 want an official relationship. They want to keep 00:11:18.470 --> 00:11:21.529 things very, very casual. It can be fun for people. 00:11:21.649 --> 00:11:24.169 Maybe people just want to have fun. They want 00:11:24.169 --> 00:11:27.570 to go date people. But it can also be a little 00:11:27.570 --> 00:11:30.250 bit uneasy or a little bit uncomfortable, just 00:11:30.250 --> 00:11:33.889 like that situationship. if one person wants 00:11:33.889 --> 00:11:36.070 to be boyfriend and girlfriend and the other 00:11:36.070 --> 00:11:38.490 person doesn't, that can create some conflict, 00:11:38.669 --> 00:11:41.490 that can be a little bit confusing, and that 00:11:41.490 --> 00:11:44.090 can be a difficult situation to be in. There 00:11:44.090 --> 00:11:46.690 was a movie a number of years ago called 500 00:11:46.690 --> 00:11:50.769 Days of Summer starring Zooey Deschanel and Joseph 00:11:50.769 --> 00:11:53.590 Gordon -Levitt, and this movie shows that situation 00:11:53.590 --> 00:11:57.350 where two people are in this no -labels relationship 00:11:57.350 --> 00:12:01.289 and the conflict that can occur because of it. 00:12:01.789 --> 00:12:05.389 Like I said, that just having fun usually gives 00:12:05.389 --> 00:12:08.149 the connotation that the person wants to date 00:12:08.149 --> 00:12:11.029 multiple people. Another term for that is open 00:12:11.029 --> 00:12:13.889 relationship. An open relationship is when the 00:12:13.889 --> 00:12:16.889 people in the relationship agree that they can 00:12:16.889 --> 00:12:20.850 date other people. So you know ahead of time 00:12:20.850 --> 00:12:25.250 that this is the situation between you and the 00:12:25.250 --> 00:12:27.710 person you're in a relationship with. Some people 00:12:27.710 --> 00:12:31.429 like that. Some people don't. If you do not want 00:12:31.429 --> 00:12:35.110 to be in an open relationship you would want 00:12:35.110 --> 00:12:39.529 an exclusive relationship. Exclusive means that 00:12:39.529 --> 00:12:43.870 you are only dating one person. You are not dating 00:12:43.870 --> 00:12:46.870 anybody else and they are not dating anybody 00:12:46.870 --> 00:12:50.690 else. When you get into an exclusive relationship, 00:12:51.049 --> 00:12:54.190 that means that you are getting serious. Getting 00:12:54.190 --> 00:12:57.649 serious means that you are wanting to get into 00:12:57.649 --> 00:13:00.470 an official relationship, an exclusive relationship. 00:13:00.470 --> 00:13:03.929 You are looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. 00:13:04.129 --> 00:13:06.730 That means that the relationship is getting deeper 00:13:06.730 --> 00:13:09.870 and it is no longer casual or just for fun. It 00:13:09.870 --> 00:13:14.000 is a more serious official relationship. so if 00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:16.980 you are casually dating somebody if you are in 00:13:16.980 --> 00:13:19.899 a relationship that has no labels and the person 00:13:19.899 --> 00:13:22.899 asks you are we going to get more serious or 00:13:22.899 --> 00:13:27.320 do you want to get serious they're asking if 00:13:27.320 --> 00:13:30.159 you're ready to take the next step if you're 00:13:30.159 --> 00:13:32.600 ready to be in a more committed relationship 00:13:32.600 --> 00:13:36.100 when you decide to get serious with someone you 00:13:36.100 --> 00:13:39.950 can also soft launch your relationship Soft launch 00:13:39.950 --> 00:13:42.769 means that you are not officially using the term 00:13:42.769 --> 00:13:45.470 boyfriend or girlfriend in social media, but 00:13:45.470 --> 00:13:47.950 you are hinting that you are dating somebody 00:13:47.950 --> 00:13:51.909 online. So for example, maybe you post a photo 00:13:51.909 --> 00:13:55.389 of you and this other person sharing some drinks 00:13:55.389 --> 00:13:58.909 or maybe holding hands, but you don't call the 00:13:58.909 --> 00:14:00.649 person your boyfriend. You don't call the person 00:14:00.649 --> 00:14:04.629 your girlfriend. You just have this hint that 00:14:04.629 --> 00:14:07.049 you're in a relationship with someone. So you 00:14:07.049 --> 00:14:08.809 will see that online people will say that they 00:14:08.809 --> 00:14:11.570 are soft launching their relationship. And you 00:14:11.570 --> 00:14:14.809 especially see this with celebrities. For example, 00:14:14.830 --> 00:14:18.690 the pop star Katy Perry recently split with the 00:14:18.690 --> 00:14:22.110 actor Orlando Bloom. And then a little while 00:14:22.110 --> 00:14:24.870 after she broke up with Orlando Bloom, there 00:14:24.870 --> 00:14:27.350 were pictures of her with the former Prime Minister 00:14:27.350 --> 00:14:30.470 of Canada, Justin Trudeau. they were not calling 00:14:30.470 --> 00:14:32.409 each other boyfriend or girlfriend they were 00:14:32.409 --> 00:14:33.950 saying that they were still just friends but 00:14:33.950 --> 00:14:37.309 it seemed like they were dating it seemed like 00:14:37.309 --> 00:14:40.049 they were a couple now when you actually decide 00:14:40.049 --> 00:14:42.450 to call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend 00:14:42.450 --> 00:14:45.330 on social media that is called a hard launch 00:14:45.330 --> 00:14:48.690 a hard launch is when you do make it official 00:14:48.690 --> 00:14:51.450 on a social media that you are in a relationship 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:54.879 You post photos of yourself with this other person. 00:14:54.940 --> 00:14:57.200 You call them your boyfriend or your girlfriend. 00:14:57.299 --> 00:15:00.639 And now everyone knows that you are dating. Again, 00:15:00.720 --> 00:15:03.299 you see this with celebrities. Like I said, Katy 00:15:03.299 --> 00:15:05.960 Perry and Justin Trudeau had a soft launch to 00:15:05.960 --> 00:15:07.940 the relationship. But then a few weeks later, 00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:11.120 they had a hard launch where they posted pictures 00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:13.720 of themselves and they made it official that 00:15:13.720 --> 00:15:16.659 they were a couple. I hope you enjoyed this episode 00:15:16.659 --> 00:15:19.139 and I hope you are now better able to understand 00:15:19.139 --> 00:15:23.399 these modern vocabulary terms. Like I said, these 00:15:23.399 --> 00:15:26.799 were not textbook English vocabulary words, but 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:29.759 they are words that native speakers use. You'll 00:15:29.759 --> 00:15:31.899 see them on social media. You'll hear them in 00:15:31.899 --> 00:15:34.840 TV shows and movies. So these words will really 00:15:34.840 --> 00:15:37.220 help you with your fluency because you'll be 00:15:37.220 --> 00:15:40.639 better able to understand a native speaker when 00:15:40.639 --> 00:15:43.990 they use these terms around you. If you liked 00:15:43.990 --> 00:15:46.350 this episode, if you want more vocabulary episodes 00:15:46.350 --> 00:15:48.909 like this in the future, leave a comment and 00:15:48.909 --> 00:15:52.100 let me know if you think this was helpful. And 00:15:52.100 --> 00:15:54.259 if you think this will help someone else when 00:15:54.259 --> 00:15:57.440 they are learning English, please share the episode 00:15:57.440 --> 00:16:00.440 with them. That way they can continue to build 00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:03.059 their English fluency and we can continue to 00:16:03.059 --> 00:16:05.960 reach a new audience. You can also leave a review 00:16:05.960 --> 00:16:09.179 on whatever app you are listening to this podcast 00:16:09.179 --> 00:16:12.360 on. You can follow us on social media or go to 00:16:12.360 --> 00:16:15.460 our website, learnenglishpod .com. And remember 00:16:15.460 --> 00:16:17.759 to follow the show so you don't miss our next 00:16:17.759 --> 00:16:20.879 episode when it comes out next week. Until then. 00:16:21.320 --> 00:16:22.179 Keep learning English!