WEBVTT 00:00:05.360 --> 00:00:08.240 The Intangible is a limited series anthology 00:00:08.240 --> 00:00:11.279 of audio literature that explores that fleshy 00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:14.400 veil which we must all one day pierce. We're 00:00:14.400 --> 00:00:17.539 happy to have you here, and even happier to keep 00:00:17.539 --> 00:00:41.600 you. The pleasure is all mine. It's an honor, 00:00:41.700 --> 00:00:47.539 I know. Yes, I know you. You know me, even if 00:00:47.539 --> 00:00:53.159 you don't believe it yet. I know everyone. Who 00:00:53.159 --> 00:00:57.619 am I? Who am I to ignore the fourth and every 00:00:57.619 --> 00:01:04.680 wall? I often disregard rules. I rather enjoy 00:01:04.680 --> 00:01:09.060 it, in fact. Rules exist only for those who choose 00:01:09.060 --> 00:01:14.819 to adhere. Me, I do not adhere well to rules. 00:01:14.920 --> 00:01:19.659 Not at all. I know what you're thinking. Could 00:01:19.659 --> 00:01:23.920 I be him? Followed by the slither of uncertainty 00:01:23.920 --> 00:01:28.939 and a taste of dread. Like discovering a hair 00:01:28.939 --> 00:01:32.939 in your mouth as you swallow. A persistent irritation. 00:01:33.319 --> 00:01:37.140 Like a lash lost in your eye. Like something 00:01:37.140 --> 00:01:43.019 lurking in the dark. An unpleasant thing. A shiver 00:01:43.019 --> 00:01:46.799 dances down your spine. Like the cool tips of 00:01:46.799 --> 00:01:50.700 a lover's fingers. Playing children's games across 00:01:50.700 --> 00:01:57.180 the skin of your back. Yes. I enjoy those thoughts 00:01:57.180 --> 00:02:02.480 of yours. Am I deceptive? Some would have you 00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:08.659 believe that. Do I lie? Never. I'll tell you 00:02:08.659 --> 00:02:12.560 who I am, and you won't believe me. Not until 00:02:12.560 --> 00:02:18.020 the time comes when you do. But by then, it will 00:02:18.020 --> 00:02:23.610 be too late. Do you know me now? Yes, you do. 00:02:24.370 --> 00:02:36.270 I am the devil. Yes, I enjoy the flavor of your 00:02:36.270 --> 00:02:41.430 reeking doubt, and I swallow it whole. Ask yourself, 00:02:41.550 --> 00:02:46.569 to whom do you answer? Not to me, and I'm intrigued 00:02:46.569 --> 00:02:50.590 by your internet search history. So we both know 00:02:50.590 --> 00:02:55.090 it isn't. You know who. If not me, and if not 00:02:55.090 --> 00:02:59.409 you know who, then someone else perhaps. You 00:02:59.409 --> 00:03:05.550 must know. You do. Yes, that's right. You know 00:03:05.550 --> 00:03:20.030 who. You answer to yourself. Ooh, that left me 00:03:20.030 --> 00:03:23.189 feeling a little funny inside. Seems like a nice 00:03:23.189 --> 00:03:28.090 enough guy, or gal. Just like a certain old vaudevillian 00:03:28.090 --> 00:03:30.949 who goes by the name of Larry. Larry was once 00:03:30.949 --> 00:03:33.330 the star performer of the illustrious Jack Davis 00:03:33.330 --> 00:03:36.189 Troupe and became widely known for his act, which 00:03:36.189 --> 00:03:39.349 was billed as the dizzying, daring, dazzling, 00:03:39.389 --> 00:03:42.750 death -defying high wire act. Larry will tell 00:03:42.750 --> 00:03:48.300 you all about it right now. Presenting! high 00:03:48.300 --> 00:04:19.579 over Manhattan. Year after year. This. Chirping 00:04:19.579 --> 00:04:22.560 children in costumes and the timbre of wary parents. 00:04:22.860 --> 00:04:25.620 I keep hoping they'll finally get rid of me and 00:04:25.620 --> 00:04:28.500 this old bag of bones they call a body. But every 00:04:28.500 --> 00:04:32.600 year it's the same dance and the same song. It's 00:04:32.600 --> 00:04:35.759 demeaning. Don't they know I'm an old vaudevillian? 00:04:35.879 --> 00:04:38.939 They ought to tear up that contract. They should 00:04:38.939 --> 00:04:41.819 toss me in the tepid water. Let me finally sink. 00:04:42.329 --> 00:04:45.410 Throw us all three out the window. The bathwater, 00:04:45.589 --> 00:04:49.449 the baby, and me. Why can't they understand? 00:04:49.870 --> 00:04:53.149 I was set up, see? Just an easy Connie's mock. 00:04:53.370 --> 00:04:56.910 A skinny duck pin too busy keeping my coattails 00:04:56.910 --> 00:04:59.529 tucked beneath my backside to watch for that 00:04:59.529 --> 00:05:03.009 third ball rolling right at me, coming down the 00:05:03.009 --> 00:05:06.790 alley. I'm a sincere fellow. I feel bad about 00:05:06.790 --> 00:05:10.860 what happened. I do. Still, this is cruel. You 00:05:10.860 --> 00:05:13.360 can't go and do something like this to a man 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:15.899 and go around thinking it's right, because it 00:05:15.899 --> 00:05:18.699 ain't right, I'll tell you that right now. I 00:05:18.699 --> 00:05:21.800 was a master of my craft, and that deserves respect. 00:05:22.060 --> 00:05:25.000 I had done that routine hundreds of times, with 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:28.100 or without the baby. Somebody greased that girder 00:05:28.100 --> 00:05:31.120 on purpose, I tell you. Probably that stingy, 00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:34.160 sniveling agent of mine, looking to squeeze another 00:05:34.160 --> 00:05:38.100 shilling out of me at any cost. Well, Mr. Jack 00:05:38.100 --> 00:05:41.920 Davis, now we know, don't we? You told folks 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:45.300 all over town you were sterling. Bonafide, you 00:05:45.300 --> 00:05:49.379 said. Ha! A bonafide skunk you are, sir. Two 00:05:49.379 --> 00:05:52.660 lives for two pence, I suppose. May that little 00:05:52.660 --> 00:05:56.459 girl rest in peace. You saw to it. We were both 00:05:56.459 --> 00:06:00.480 sent to pieces. Now look at me. I'm the one who's 00:06:00.480 --> 00:06:04.279 bonafide. And you? You're slicker than a greased 00:06:04.279 --> 00:06:07.329 -up tub of greased -up butter. No trouble at 00:06:07.329 --> 00:06:10.389 all for you, was it, Mr. Davis? Must have been 00:06:10.389 --> 00:06:13.490 the talent's fault, right? Isn't that what you 00:06:13.490 --> 00:06:16.750 told them? Isn't that what you said, Jack? That 00:06:16.750 --> 00:06:21.230 it was me? Me? I am a pure professional. Always 00:06:21.230 --> 00:06:24.730 have been. That's right, you heard me. You were 00:06:24.730 --> 00:06:27.829 the one who gave me the gin that night. I couldn't 00:06:27.829 --> 00:06:31.370 be rude and decline. Now could I? What do you 00:06:31.370 --> 00:06:35.410 take me for? Low class? It would have been ungentlemanly. 00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:38.519 A man has got to have some manners. Especially 00:06:38.519 --> 00:06:42.220 a man like me. A man about town. What with being 00:06:42.220 --> 00:06:45.800 bright in the people's eye. Oh, you let it happen. 00:06:46.220 --> 00:06:49.839 Insisted even. Fourteen stories high and a baby, 00:06:49.939 --> 00:06:53.220 Jack. A baby! You were there. You could have 00:06:53.220 --> 00:06:57.079 stopped it. This was your fault, Jack. You should 00:06:57.079 --> 00:07:00.060 have known better. Some shows on some nights, 00:07:00.220 --> 00:07:03.459 on some bills, well, they get scratched. And 00:07:03.459 --> 00:07:06.410 that's just the way it is. You, of all people, 00:07:06.490 --> 00:07:09.790 ought to know that. Sometimes an act is, well, 00:07:09.990 --> 00:07:12.170 they ought to be left off the bill altogether, 00:07:12.509 --> 00:07:15.490 if you catch my meaning. And if you were bona 00:07:15.490 --> 00:07:18.329 fide, as you claimed yourself to be, you would 00:07:18.329 --> 00:07:21.750 catch it fine, I'll say. You should be here, 00:07:21.910 --> 00:07:26.310 Jack. Not me. You. You should be the one hanging. 00:07:27.110 --> 00:07:30.970 Now here I am, doing this same routine, the same 00:07:30.970 --> 00:07:35.139 song, the same dance, year after year. Will they 00:07:35.139 --> 00:07:37.279 ever toss me out with the rest of the rubbish? 00:07:37.579 --> 00:07:42.639 Oh, I should be so lucky. They... Here they come. 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:45.439 Excuse me a moment, if you would be so kind. 00:07:45.560 --> 00:07:49.040 Yes, a quick act, thank you. I won't be long. 00:07:49.199 --> 00:07:53.680 No, no, not at all. Creepy greetings and good 00:07:53.680 --> 00:07:57.319 evening. How do you do? I'm Larry. A skeleton 00:07:57.319 --> 00:08:02.370 they forgot to bury. Cha -cha -cha! I sing and 00:08:02.370 --> 00:08:05.709 I dance and I chatter and clatter to entertain 00:08:05.709 --> 00:08:13.529 and terrify you. Boo! Happy Halloween. Look, 00:08:13.589 --> 00:08:16.629 pal, you don't gotta say it. I already know, 00:08:16.790 --> 00:08:20.689 in case you couldn't tell. Just imagine it. This, 00:08:20.850 --> 00:08:25.189 year after year, barely two lines. Not even that 00:08:25.189 --> 00:08:28.750 if my juice gets low. It's demeaning, I say. 00:08:29.209 --> 00:08:32.409 There's no heart in it, no soul, and I'm worn 00:08:32.409 --> 00:08:35.870 out. These old bones of mine, they're heavy, 00:08:35.990 --> 00:08:40.669 and I'm weary. Please put me in the bathwater. 00:08:40.789 --> 00:08:44.730 Let me finally sink and someone hold the baby. 00:08:45.330 --> 00:08:49.049 Please promise me you'll keep her warm. Then 00:08:49.049 --> 00:08:56.769 just toss me out. Well, some people never get 00:08:56.769 --> 00:09:00.120 it, do they? If only he could have somehow gone 00:09:00.120 --> 00:09:04.220 back in time and changed the outcome. Speaking 00:09:04.220 --> 00:09:06.840 of time travel, allow me to introduce our next 00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:14.139 story. Searching Somewhere That's it! I got it! 00:09:15.000 --> 00:09:19.080 I couldn't tell you half of what Enzo said, but 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:21.820 that was the only part that mattered. He had 00:09:21.820 --> 00:09:27.149 figured out something. See, when he worked, Enzo 00:09:27.149 --> 00:09:30.429 was like a different person, technical and precise 00:09:30.429 --> 00:09:34.330 about everything he did or said. I spent half 00:09:34.330 --> 00:09:36.710 my time with him trying to decipher his intellect 00:09:36.710 --> 00:09:39.529 and the other half doing what I could to help. 00:09:39.850 --> 00:09:42.809 After he was done, he would resume his normal 00:09:42.809 --> 00:09:44.929 life again and talk like a normal man talks, 00:09:45.190 --> 00:09:47.750 eventually explaining to me what had gone down 00:09:47.750 --> 00:09:51.289 that day in terms even I could understand. Sort 00:09:51.289 --> 00:09:55.289 of. Enzo had found a way to send objects through 00:09:55.289 --> 00:10:00.590 time, but the hitch was, in his words, Time is 00:10:00.590 --> 00:10:05.190 a fickle little rat. I can send the apple through 00:10:05.190 --> 00:10:08.970 time, but due to the infinite nature of paradoxes, 00:10:08.970 --> 00:10:13.490 it goes, well, I don't know where exactly, but 00:10:13.490 --> 00:10:17.190 it goes somewhere. Enzo thought he might have 00:10:17.190 --> 00:10:19.490 a solution using the same principles which were 00:10:19.490 --> 00:10:22.399 somehow related to quantum entanglement. That 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:28.320 much I could understand. Sort of. His plan was 00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:31.940 to manipulate the test object, an apple in most 00:10:31.940 --> 00:10:36.539 cases, through time while simultaneously moving 00:10:36.539 --> 00:10:40.080 it through space. Essentially, Enzo was attempting 00:10:40.080 --> 00:10:42.879 to account for both universal expansion and the 00:10:42.879 --> 00:10:46.139 Earth's orbital rotation. He planned to use a 00:10:46.139 --> 00:10:49.399 wormhole in conjunction with time travel to jettison 00:10:49.399 --> 00:10:51.700 the object into the space where he wanted it. 00:10:51.899 --> 00:10:56.919 Here, in the shed behind his house. The trouble 00:10:56.919 --> 00:11:00.080 was, the theory he had put together was primarily 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:03.419 focused on the time element, and although he 00:11:03.419 --> 00:11:05.779 knew both could be affected by the device he'd 00:11:05.779 --> 00:11:08.259 built, he really didn't know what he would need 00:11:08.259 --> 00:11:12.259 to alter in order to teleport the apple. Essentially, 00:11:12.500 --> 00:11:16.519 he said. That's what we're doing. We're teleporting 00:11:16.519 --> 00:11:19.580 the apple while simultaneously causing time to 00:11:19.580 --> 00:11:22.820 slip off of it. Like a sort of cosmic lubrication. 00:11:24.139 --> 00:11:26.919 Nothing like some good old cosmic lubrication 00:11:26.919 --> 00:11:30.500 to keep the apple on schedule. I laughed a little 00:11:30.500 --> 00:11:33.120 too loudly and held my can of beer high, proud 00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:39.879 of my toast. Enzo was not impressed. Weeks went 00:11:39.879 --> 00:11:43.460 on with him tinkering around. Then one day, he 00:11:43.460 --> 00:11:46.759 muttered some scientific jargon I didn't understand, 00:11:46.840 --> 00:11:51.820 followed by... That's it! I got it! He was right, 00:11:51.919 --> 00:11:54.600 I suppose, because when he showed me how it worked, 00:11:54.840 --> 00:11:59.120 the apple did change locations. And it did appear 00:11:59.120 --> 00:12:02.740 in the second box he had built as a target. I 00:12:02.740 --> 00:12:04.759 couldn't tell where it went in between the two 00:12:04.759 --> 00:12:08.409 boxes, of course. But I believed Enzo when he 00:12:08.409 --> 00:12:12.870 said he had it all figured out. Honestly, you'd 00:12:12.870 --> 00:12:15.370 think it would be more amazing than it was. But 00:12:15.370 --> 00:12:18.470 really, it was just an apple over there instead 00:12:18.470 --> 00:12:23.190 of over here. Nothing spectacular. Besides, the 00:12:23.190 --> 00:12:25.970 apple couldn't report anything about its experience. 00:12:27.129 --> 00:12:31.929 So yeah, it was cool, I guess. I was just happy 00:12:31.929 --> 00:12:37.220 to see Enzo so excited. I know how this next 00:12:37.220 --> 00:12:40.559 part is going to sound, but hear me out before 00:12:40.559 --> 00:12:44.139 you judge us. We needed a human test subject. 00:12:45.139 --> 00:12:47.779 Enzo had already tested a bunch of animals with 00:12:47.779 --> 00:12:50.840 it by that time. And even his dog, Briar, who 00:12:50.840 --> 00:12:54.759 seemed fine. Enzo had got the idea that maybe 00:12:54.759 --> 00:12:57.399 he could create a loop in the wormhole and make 00:12:57.399 --> 00:13:00.279 it double back on itself. He showed me what he 00:13:00.279 --> 00:13:02.220 meant by making a circle with a piece of clothesline 00:13:02.220 --> 00:13:04.980 and pinching the clothes. Where he pinched, he 00:13:04.980 --> 00:13:08.139 told me, would be a single point in spacetime. 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:12.360 If he started with one apple here, and then increased 00:13:12.360 --> 00:13:15.419 the cosmic lube, he believed he could force an 00:13:15.419 --> 00:13:18.960 object to slip forward through time, controlling 00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:21.179 it until it doubled back and landed where the 00:13:21.179 --> 00:13:24.700 other apple had been. So then, he hypothesized, 00:13:24.759 --> 00:13:28.440 there would be an original apple, plus a copy 00:13:28.440 --> 00:13:30.700 of the original apple from a different point 00:13:30.700 --> 00:13:34.789 in time. I must have looked confused, because 00:13:34.789 --> 00:13:37.169 Enzo explained it again. What's your favorite 00:13:37.169 --> 00:13:41.570 cartoon? He asked. Um, Old Rapscallion, I guess? 00:13:42.190 --> 00:13:45.549 Okay, let's say you wanted to see Old Rapscallion 00:13:45.549 --> 00:13:48.889 knock himself into a pile of bones. You could 00:13:48.889 --> 00:13:51.370 cut a frame of film from a different place in 00:13:51.370 --> 00:13:54.049 the movie while the film is still rolling, and 00:13:54.049 --> 00:13:56.570 then lay the frame on top of a new frame that 00:13:56.570 --> 00:13:59.610 hasn't played yet. Now you would see two of the 00:13:59.610 --> 00:14:02.700 same character on screen. He said it wouldn't 00:14:02.700 --> 00:14:05.600 matter if the old frame of film was missing, 00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:08.139 because that part of the movie had already played. 00:14:08.639 --> 00:14:11.139 It wouldn't be missed, and it might even resolve 00:14:11.139 --> 00:14:13.879 the paradox issue. Well, it sounded good to me. 00:14:15.080 --> 00:14:20.340 Sort of. Enzo worked on it another month. Then 00:14:20.340 --> 00:14:22.559 he called me on the phone one day. You gotta 00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:27.019 come see this! I'm not even mad anymore, but 00:14:27.019 --> 00:14:31.029 I still feel jumpy when I remember. Enzo had 00:14:31.029 --> 00:14:34.409 it all worked out, but he couldn't test the machine 00:14:34.409 --> 00:14:37.830 himself because he needed to operate it. Since 00:14:37.830 --> 00:14:40.730 he knew I wasn't keen to risk being turned into 00:14:40.730 --> 00:14:44.909 applesauce, he pushed me. Took me by surprise, 00:14:45.070 --> 00:14:49.110 too. We hadn't even finished saying hello, and 00:14:49.110 --> 00:14:51.750 he had the beam lit up already. Bam! Pushed me 00:14:51.750 --> 00:14:54.870 right into the light. I can't say I felt much. 00:14:55.049 --> 00:14:58.309 Some tingling. Like when your foot went to sleep 00:14:58.309 --> 00:15:01.720 and is waking back up. but it only lasted a second. 00:15:02.340 --> 00:15:07.340 Then, I was looking straight at myself. Almost 00:15:07.340 --> 00:15:09.480 immediately, the machine Enzo had built began 00:15:09.480 --> 00:15:13.399 whining like an alarm was going off. Stay calm, 00:15:13.779 --> 00:15:17.399 Enzo told us. I figured this might happen. It's 00:15:17.399 --> 00:15:23.519 okay. Then he lunged at us. Hard to say which 00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:26.759 one he was going for, since I suppose to him, 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:30.029 we were one and the same. Not to us, though. 00:15:30.889 --> 00:15:33.750 We both guessed what he was up to, and I went 00:15:33.750 --> 00:15:37.090 for the other me, the paradox, trying to get 00:15:37.090 --> 00:15:39.909 the jump on her. We wrestled for a few seconds, 00:15:39.950 --> 00:15:42.429 and then Enzo was in the fray, tugging and yelling 00:15:42.429 --> 00:15:45.389 at us that nobody knows the consequences and 00:15:45.389 --> 00:15:47.929 something about something blowing up. I think 00:15:47.929 --> 00:15:50.470 it was either the machine or the universe, but 00:15:50.470 --> 00:15:53.610 even that wasn't going to convince either one 00:15:53.610 --> 00:15:57.269 of us to get in the light again. Enzo was smart 00:15:57.269 --> 00:16:01.799 enough to know that. Hands up! He coerced us 00:16:01.799 --> 00:16:05.620 instead. He cocked his pistol and made us turn 00:16:05.620 --> 00:16:10.200 around. The last thing I heard was Enzo. Nobody 00:16:10.200 --> 00:16:15.139 said this was going to be easy. Then a sharp 00:16:15.139 --> 00:16:19.379 shove, center of my back, tingling. I've been 00:16:19.379 --> 00:16:30.490 here for a while now. Somewhere. When a worm 00:16:30.490 --> 00:16:34.850 eats an apple, it leaves a wormhole. And according 00:16:34.850 --> 00:16:37.629 to my calculations, when a wormhole eats an apple 00:16:37.629 --> 00:16:39.909 with a wormhole, the wormhole has eaten itself. 00:16:40.669 --> 00:16:44.169 That much I can deduce, but it leaves me with 00:16:44.169 --> 00:16:48.370 one question. What happened to the worm? Does 00:16:48.370 --> 00:16:52.309 he also eat himself? Yet another instance of 00:16:52.309 --> 00:17:06.950 Ouroboros? What's one thing you wish you could 00:17:06.950 --> 00:17:09.009 say to someone but you can't because they're 00:17:09.009 --> 00:17:12.529 gone? Could be a question, apology, and I love 00:17:12.529 --> 00:17:14.910 you. Anything at all as long as it's for somebody 00:17:14.910 --> 00:17:22.670 you knew in life who's gone now. An old friend 00:17:22.670 --> 00:17:28.549 of mine told me about her breakup. That's not 00:17:28.549 --> 00:17:32.009 a great time in my life to, you know, give ear, 00:17:32.230 --> 00:17:36.029 lend an ear to someone else in my life. And she 00:17:36.029 --> 00:17:38.990 talked to me about that breaking up with someone 00:17:38.990 --> 00:17:42.569 and completely having that person disappear from 00:17:42.569 --> 00:17:45.349 your life is just the same as having that person 00:17:45.349 --> 00:17:50.130 dead. And I have so many people that is no longer 00:17:50.130 --> 00:17:55.809 part of my life that's essentially dead. That 00:17:55.809 --> 00:17:59.309 friend of mine, I lost her too. I was a bad friend 00:17:59.309 --> 00:18:02.630 and I wish I could come back and tell her, Hey, 00:18:02.750 --> 00:18:07.170 I'm sorry. You caught me at a bad time, but... 00:18:07.170 --> 00:18:12.890 Given that I am your friend, I wish I could have 00:18:12.890 --> 00:18:38.740 done better. For you, and for myself. Pardon 00:18:38.740 --> 00:18:40.920 me. My diligence is due, and an honest man's 00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:43.059 wages won't pay themselves. So please forgive, 00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:46.420 I plea. My soliciting is solely with the intent 00:18:46.420 --> 00:18:48.640 to impress upon you the validity and veracity 00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:50.980 of Angels Alive, our most extraordinary, essential, 00:18:51.299 --> 00:18:54.599 excellent elixir. Have you not heard? Angels 00:18:54.599 --> 00:18:56.720 Alive Extraordinary Elixir is indeed extraordinary, 00:18:56.839 --> 00:19:00.339 but it is also much, much more. Not only is Angels 00:19:00.339 --> 00:19:02.880 Alive extraordinary elixir, a robust and rotund 00:19:02.880 --> 00:19:05.359 elixir, it is an excellent, exceptional, efficacious, 00:19:05.400 --> 00:19:07.720 effectual, potent, powerful, marvelous, magnificent 00:19:07.720 --> 00:19:11.440 one, and is, as always, an utterly edible, enjoyable, 00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:13.599 potent, potable, pleasantly piquant and palatable, 00:19:13.740 --> 00:19:15.799 desirable, delicious, delectable, mouth -watering, 00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:18.680 and yet... morally respectable the elixir of 00:19:18.680 --> 00:19:20.539 the finest quality of the most refined purity 00:19:20.539 --> 00:19:22.400 developed under the sharpest eye of scrutiny 00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:24.539 safely and scientifically circulated carefully 00:19:24.539 --> 00:19:26.960 crafted and combined by the bright and the brilliant 00:19:26.960 --> 00:19:30.099 the astute and acute the clever and keen shaman 00:19:30.099 --> 00:19:32.819 of the sheik a mystifying medicine man from a 00:19:32.819 --> 00:19:35.799 mysterious perplexing peculiar part of pawang 00:19:35.799 --> 00:19:39.259 located deep deep down in the far southwest of 00:19:39.259 --> 00:19:43.440 the east For an elixir so unusually useful, Angels 00:19:43.440 --> 00:19:46.539 Alive Extraordinary Elixir is, for a time too 00:19:46.539 --> 00:19:51.539 temporary to tell, uncommonly priced. Every extraordinary 00:19:51.539 --> 00:19:54.339 bottle of Angels Alive Extraordinary Elixir must 00:19:54.339 --> 00:19:57.720 go. And remember, folks, a bottle bought is always 00:19:57.720 --> 00:20:03.680 a bottle sold. Blaze Bentley stood ready, zap 00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:06.519 gun in his right hand, a shimmering sack in his 00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:09.640 left. It was Corporal Bentley's sworn duty to 00:20:09.640 --> 00:20:12.880 protect the Quantonium Crystal with his life. 00:20:13.380 --> 00:20:16.819 You there, he shouted in a deep, bellowing voice. 00:20:17.180 --> 00:20:20.339 Stop in the name of the Republic of the New Milky 00:20:20.339 --> 00:20:24.059 Way! A rocket launched in the distance, streaking 00:20:24.059 --> 00:20:26.819 a blue -green flame across the black starlit 00:20:26.819 --> 00:20:30.420 sky. The alien hissed and clicked in sinister 00:20:30.420 --> 00:20:33.799 tones at Blaze as it crept closer. The tips of 00:20:33.799 --> 00:20:36.779 its insect legs ticked and scraped across the 00:20:36.779 --> 00:20:39.759 dusty ground. One leg was already injured and 00:20:39.759 --> 00:20:42.660 left a crooked trail behind the creature. Blaze 00:20:42.660 --> 00:20:45.740 was ready to fire, but he had to issue one more 00:20:45.740 --> 00:20:48.640 warning in order to comply with the code. Stop 00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:52.259 right there, you disgusting bug! I will blast 00:20:52.259 --> 00:20:55.740 you if I have to! The monster's scaly mandibles 00:20:55.740 --> 00:20:59.140 scraped open, then closed. Scraped open, then 00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:01.960 closed. Blaze knew the behemoth was preparing 00:21:01.960 --> 00:21:04.900 to spit its venomous acid, but the hero leapt 00:21:04.900 --> 00:21:08.200 into action. He yelled, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew! 00:21:08.940 --> 00:21:11.559 The giant alien insect screeched and crashed 00:21:11.559 --> 00:21:14.500 over to its side, making a great ruckus and sending 00:21:14.500 --> 00:21:17.660 a giant plume of moon dust into the sky. Blaze 00:21:17.660 --> 00:21:20.160 approached cautiously and towed the thing's greenish 00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:22.559 -brown exoskeleton with his white space boot. 00:21:23.579 --> 00:21:25.819 Corporal Blaze Bentley suddenly found himself 00:21:25.819 --> 00:21:28.200 on his back, staring up at the ceiling, unable 00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:32.200 to move. He was once again just a simple plastic 00:21:32.200 --> 00:21:38.019 toy. Nathan! Dinner! Coming! Nathan tramped downstairs. 00:21:38.779 --> 00:21:46.240 What's for dinner, Mom? Can we have pizza? Welcome 00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:51.240 to Colony 7 -2. How often do you get let into 00:21:51.240 --> 00:21:54.019 a moon colony, Will? This is history in the making. 00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:58.000 New vaccine. Supposed to protect you from the 00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:02.509 zombie virus. Just a precaution. The name's Hen. 00:22:02.910 --> 00:22:05.750 I'm one of the local radio hosts, and you have 00:22:05.750 --> 00:22:09.789 been assigned as my co -host. Oh my god, are 00:22:09.789 --> 00:22:12.910 you okay? You're not looking too good. Are you... 00:22:12.910 --> 00:22:21.089 Shit! Someone just turned! I... Oh, shit. What? 00:22:21.589 --> 00:22:25.930 Will, what do you mean? Do you think this is 00:22:25.930 --> 00:22:31.569 a scratch? Or a bite. Hey, it's only three days. 00:22:32.009 --> 00:22:36.390 Two. You know. Either he turns or he doesn't. 00:22:36.950 --> 00:22:41.069 Simple as that. Listen to Apocalypse Radio wherever 00:22:41.069 --> 00:22:50.329 you get your podcasts. You've been listening 00:22:50.329 --> 00:22:53.289 to The Intangible, an audio literature program 00:22:53.289 --> 00:22:57.299 of weird fiction. This was not a fever dream. 00:22:58.900 --> 00:23:01.420 It's real bad. Thing is, it keeps getting worse 00:23:01.420 --> 00:23:04.000 till one day you die. Does it get worse after 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:06.460 that? I don't know, kid. I sure hope so.