You've opened the door to the Jallitor's Domain, a broom closet full of wonders.
Beyond the plungers, brooms, and unknown items of disgust are memories of the past.
The memories you are about to hear are not for the faint of heart.
The memories are meant for mature audiences only.
Listener discretion is advised.
Prepare yourself for tales from the Jallitor.
Third boxcar, midnight train, destination, Bangor, Maine.
Old worn out suit and shoes.
I don't pay no union dues.
Hey, hey, you have to stop sneaking up on me like that.
Gah, oh, you keep catching me during some embarrassing times.
I mean, can a man just work without someone coming up on them and bugging them all the
time?
I mean, all you ever do is want to hear about what urban legends that are here.
Well, you know what?
Go look it up yourself.
Gah.
Hey, hey, boss, yes?
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I was ad libbing.
You want me to take it from the top?
All right.
Yes.
I'm sorry, boss.
Sorry boss.
Sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
I might have gotten a little carried away.
Okay.
Where was I?
Ah, yes.
Welcome to Maine, the 23rd state.
Did you know that Maine used to be part of Massachusetts?
It also used to be the easternmost state.
Canada is to the north, the east, and the west of most of the state.
It is also the least populous state east of the Mississippi River.
This could be the reason that 80% of the land is covered with forest or unclaimed.
For example, one territory of over 2,668 square miles has a population of just 10 people.
That's one person every 267 square miles.
Oh, won't you be my neighbor?
I would love to tell you more.
Of course, but I'm just having an off day.
You know how it is.
Let's get away from everything to a long and lonely road along Haney'sville Wood.
Buckle up.
Good afternoon, and welcome to this beautiful ceremony that Neil and Linda have invited
you to.
You must be special.
All joking aside, welcome, loved ones.
We are gathered here today to join Neil and Linda in holy matrimony.
This is not the beginning of a new relationship, but an acknowledgement of the next chapter
in their lives together.
Neil and Linda have spent years getting to know each other, and now we bear witness to
what their relationship has become.
Today we will affirm this bond, formally and publicly.
Neil and Linda will mark their transition as a couple, not only by celebrating the love
between themselves, but also celebrating the love between all of us, including the love
of their parents, siblings, extended family, and best friends.
Without that love, today would be far less joyous, and the church would be less crowded.
Are you ready now?
Do you, Neil, take Linda to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold in sickness
and in health, in good times and not so good times?
For richer or poorer, keeping yourself under her for as long as you both shall live?
I do.
Do you, Linda, take Neil to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold in sickness
and in health, in good times and not so good times?
For richer or poorer, keeping yourself under him for as long as you both shall live?
I do.
A ring is an unbroken circle with ends that have been joined together, and it represents
your union.
It is a symbol of infinity and of your infinite love.
When you look at these rings on your hands, be reminded of this moment, your commitment,
and the love you now feel for each other.
Neil, place the ring on Linda's finger and repeat after me.
Linda, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge to love you today,
tomorrow, always and forever.
Linda, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge to love you today,
tomorrow, always and forever.
And now, Linda, place the ring on Neil's finger and repeat after me.
Neil, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge to love you today,
tomorrow, always and forever.
Neil, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge to love you today,
tomorrow, always and forever.
Before these witnesses, you have pledged to be joined in marriage.
You have now sealed this pledge with your wedding rings.
By the authority vested in me by the great state of Maine, I now pronounce you man and
wife.
I now ask you to seal the promises you have made with each other this day with a kiss.
Come here, you.
Now, normally we would celebrate this wedding with a feast, but the weather is nasty out
there.
The family has decided to postpone the reception for when the weather is being a bit more cooperative.
Thank you all for being a part of this, but we gotta go.
Thank you!
Please, donate to the church!
Come on, we have to beat this storm and get to the airport.
You try running in these heels on ice.
Let me carry you then.
I know it's not the house, but will that work?
Don't fall.
Come on, do you trust me?
Yes.
See, I told you I could do it.
Are you going to carry me the whole way?
It's the only time I can.
What do you mean?
Because without you, I would be nothing.
You're always lifting me up.
Ah, Neil, I love you.
Well, you didn't carry me far.
Come on, help me up.
Come on, my snow angel.
At least we can laugh on our wedding day.
I hope that we will have many laughs.
You better warm me up later.
Oh, I plan to.
Madam, your chariot awaits.
My chariot looks like a 1987 Pontiac Bonneville.
Yes, but it's not automatic.
Nothing like riding in style.
Are you mocking your chariot, madam?
Just hurry up and shut the door.
I'm cold.
This chariot better have heat.
Well, wife, are you ready?
Ready for you to start the car and ready for us to get to warmer weather.
I'm ready to get warm too.
You're the one with the jacket on.
Oh, I feel so stupid not offering my jacket to you.
Here.
Thank you, honey.
Let's get going, shall we?
To start our lives together.
How long to get to the airport?
Hopefully under an hour or else we might miss the plane.
We are not going to miss our plane.
The road is okay for now.
I just have to watch out for the turns.
Did you see what Mrs. Jefferson was wearing?
No.
I was too busy looking at you.
I thought you would look while you were waiting on me.
I was too busy thinking about not passing out.
You passed out?
When I saw you, my knees buckled.
I gasped for air.
Then I saw you smile and I knew everything was going to be okay.
I love you, husband.
I love you, wife.
What is the first thing you want to get when we get to the island?
Get in bed with you?
No, silly.
I meant on the island.
Kiss you?
Okay then, smarty pants.
What's the second thing?
Kiss you again?
That must have been a patch of black ice.
Are we going to be alright?
We'll be fine.
I just better slow down a bit.
I should have changed before leaving.
Why?
I think you look good in your wedding dress.
Thank you.
I'm so lucky to have you.
Hold that thought.
Hold on.
Neil, are you okay, Neil?
Oh my god, Neil, wake up!
Neil!
Neil, come on!
Don't worry, Neil.
I'll go get help.
It's freezing out here.
Wow, we must have slid at least 100 feet off the road.
Now which way is the town?
I should have been paying close attention.
I can't see barely anything with the snow.
I can't even see our own tracks.
I think town would be this way.
I'm so cold.
I have to keep moving.
I'm so cold.
Maybe if I stop walking and just close my eyes for a bit.
I can't think straight.
Just a couple minutes of shed-eye.
It's so cold.
Neil.
Haney'sville Woods Road has had several legends, and many say it's the most haunted road in
the state.
The tale you just heard is one of those stories.
A newlywed couple who crashed on their wedding night.
The groom tragically died while the bride, perhaps even more tragically, managed to walk
to the end of the road before succumbing to the biting winter cold and ultimately freezing
to death.
There is a saying that roads were made for journeys and not destinations.
Well, this couple has both.
As now the bride still roams reading the tombstones every mile on this stretch of road, maybe
looking for hers or looking for her husband's.
Sometimes in life you forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want
to forget.
The road of life is hard.
For our next leg in our journey, we go to the Sabatus Well, where we're going to get
low.
Real low.
Oh boy.
Come on, it's over here.
It's not too late to back out now.
I ain't backing out.
One dollar each, right?
One dollar each for each minute.
This is going to be easy money.
You say that now.
What's the longest anyone has stayed down there?
I don't know.
I heard that no one's brave enough to even try.
No one has done it before?
You're going to be the first.
You're paying me, remember?
You could pay me five dollars and I wouldn't go down there.
What's so big about this well?
How many wells do you know that are in cemeteries?
I don't know.
It's not like I've counted before or been to many cemeteries before.
Hey, what's that over there?
It looks like an old box.
Yeah, it's just an old macaroni box.
Looks like it was a Halloween special.
It was the Mac.
It was the Monster Mac.
The Monster Mac?
The graveyard trash.
That was so bad.
Do you have a better joke?
Quiet.
Did you hear that?
Hear what?
I didn't hear anything.
Sorry, I thought I heard someone coughing.
Oh, you call my jokes bad.
So do I just climb down?
No, there should be a rope and you could just sit down.
And then we'll lower you down.
How will you know when to pull me up?
You could just tug on the rope or yell.
Okay, when does the timer start?
We'll start the clock as soon as we start lowering you.
That doesn't sound too bad then.
Looks like someone put a tire at the end of the rope.
You're not chickening out, are you?
Nope, just looking down there.
Can't see a thing.
Well, you aren't going to see everything you can when you go down.
So, you ready?
Let's do this.
Alright, just send the tire and we'll start to lower you down.
Last chance to back out.
You were going to pay me.
I'm not backing out.
Alright, get on.
Alright, let's do this.
I'm ready to get paid.
Lowering now.
Come on, you don't have to go so slow.
You asked for it.
What do you see down there?
Nothing.
It's pitch black down here.
You want us to keep going?
Keep going.
I'm going down.
I can't believe he's doing this.
No way I would go down there.
Not even for $10 a minute.
I wouldn't do it for $100.
What would be your price?
I'd be broke.
No one I know would do it neither.
What do you think about Michelle?
Michelle?
Don't tell me you actually like her.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, the short skirt does help.
I mean, she does have nice legs.
That she does.
Long.
And I bet they're nice and smooth too.
I bet if you're nice, she'll let you feel them.
That would be nice.
I thought you liked Ashley though.
I do, but she's going out with Jason.
Still?
I don't know what she sees in that guy.
I don't know either.
Is that why you like Michelle now?
Not the only reason, but it's one of them.
You're a dog, man.
Hey, John, you still down there?
John?
Do you think he fell asleep down there?
I don't know.
Let's pull him up.
You see anything yet?
Not yet.
Keep going.
I didn't know he was this far down.
I think I see something.
Is it John?
I think so, but I don't know.
How can you not know?
Because his hair is bright white.
John doesn't have white hair.
Yeah, I know that.
Is he almost up?
Yeah, a couple more feet.
Washington-related, come nursing global cave sprint form,
Lake Dare night.
John, what happened down there?
That's not John.
That's an old man.
I deserve to go to the dance because it's the second Tuesday of the month
and my feet are a size 10.
What the hell are you talking about?
I'm hungry because my socks are white and it's Wednesday
and baseballs are white.
John, what happened down there?
I like riding my bicycle and playing with marbles
while looking at birds.
Tim, I think we should just take him home.
I like the way underwear feels on Friday
while I'm eating french fries.
Come on, John, let's go home.
The wheels on the bus go round and round like socks in the dryer
after I get them dirty.
My feet are size 10.
I deserve to go to the dance.
Baseballs are white on Wednesday.
It wasn't long ago when the legend of the Sabatist well has occurred.
After a group of teens dared their friend to go down the well in the cemetery,
he came back looking much older
and no longer able to speak in comprehensible sentences.
Supposedly he's still talking nonsense at the county mental hospital.
No one really knows what happened down in the well
and no one knows anyone who's ventured down into it after the incident.
I can't tell if the well still stands.
It's a place I'll never go.
In fact, I shall take you to a location that has an amazing view in Camden.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind but now I see
Through many dangers, torments and tears
I have already come
To grace and promise me safe the star
And grace will lead me home
In Jesus' name we pray.
Let us bow our heads, heavenly Father.
This is the day you have made, so let us rejoice and be glad with it.
You know what today will bring and what tomorrow needs to be.
If we awake to breathe today, we can be assured it is with great purpose.
In order to bring glory and honor to you, the one true God, Jesus our Savior, friend and Redeemer,
it is through you we come to the Father and spread the love of the Gospel.
Remind us through your Spirit who convicts and comforts us of your truth.
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
Amen. Amen.
Mom, the wind blew my hat.
Hurry up and go get it.
Stop hat, stop.
Thank you so much for that wonderful message, Father. It truly hit my soul.
I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man that had no feet.
It really puts things into perspective.
What's that?
About how you perceive your life, we are really fortunate.
As long as you have God in your life, you'll be okay. You just need to believe that.
Faith is powerful. God is faith. All power.
Life is such a beautiful thing. You never know when it's going to end.
With God, it never ends, my son.
Grace, did you get your hat?
Not yet, Mama.
Well, hurry up. I want the Father to see you in your hat.
Oh, I saw it. It was a pleasant sight to see in the congregation.
It looks even better when you see it up close.
Women and their hats.
What's wrong with my hat, dear?
Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.
Rather, it should be of your inner self, the fading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Peter was a smart man.
Father, my wife has beauty that is inside and outside.
Stop! You'll make me blush.
Father, do you want to come over for lunch? My wife can cook up something really nice.
Oh, sure. We can get going after little Grace comes back with her hat.
Grace!
Oh dear God, Grace!
I'll go get the doctor. Hurry up and get down there.
Come on, wife. We need to make sure that she's okay.
I hope she's okay.
Her cliff is at least 300 feet.
It would be a miracle if she survived.
Don't say that. That's my little Grace.
Grace needs the grace of God right now.
Grace, I'm coming.
I see her. Grace! I'm right here.
Grace, Grace, can you hear me? Grace?
Grace, are you okay? Grace?
Oh Lord, please help my child.
Oh Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come,
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,
and give us the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever.
The family started off the day with a nice sunny service outside,
taking in the warm weather and enjoying the beauty that God had created.
The service outside located in Camden, Maine, had nothing special about it.
It was just another cliff.
Or at least it was until this day.
The story has it that a five-year-old little girl was chasing her hat
when the wind blew it right off, and she wasn't paying attention
and just fell off the cliff.
When help arrived at the bottom, the little girl didn't have a broken bone on her.
Sadly, she did pass away later that night with internal organ damage.
Today, there is a large white cross, and some say that if you were on the cliff
and looking down on the anniversary, you'll see a pretty pink hat floating in the air
and the little girl trying to catch it.
Well, I guess we have time for one more short story.
What should it be?
Ah, this one could really leave you playing the tune
with the lighthouse caretakers.
Will you please stop that inferno piano playing?
For the love of God, stop playing that song!
Fine, I'll stop for a bit.
Thank you.
The weather looks nice today.
It looks the way it normally does when the sun is out.
It can still look nice.
I don't need you to tell me when the weather looks nice.
Fine.
I don't know why I bought you that piano.
It helps pass the time. We are all alone. We never had any children.
Are you blaming me again for not being able to bear children?
I never said that.
You might as well have.
Trust me, I did my part.
Twice a year for every year of our marriage.
I can't help it. You were never able to get pregnant.
I know. I have failed you as a wife,
and for that we are isolated here at this lighthouse.
You have failed me.
I don't know why I married you.
Because my father paid you to do it.
Well, he didn't pay me enough.
You are a mean man.
And you are an ugly woman.
Ugh.
Don't you dare play that piano anymore either.
I'm going to get rid of it.
What? Like this?
That's it. I've had enough.
Yeah? What are you planning on doing about it?
This.
What are you talking about?
What I should have done a long time ago.
Die. Die woman.
Back in the mid-1800s, the lighthouse was inhabited by a caretaker and his wife.
To help the loneliness of being isolated on the island,
the caretaker had a piano shipped to keep his wife from thinking about being alone.
Unfortunately, the husband never even knew whether his wife could even play.
Luck be had, she knew how to play.
But she only knew one song.
One song.
One song being played over and over and over and over again.
Finally, he just couldn't take it anymore and destroyed the piano with an axe.
Then he killed his wife and then himself.
Ugh.
Legend has it that on foggy nights, the ghosts of those two come out.
And you can still hear that one song coming through the night.
I don't know about you, but that would drive me insane.
Anyways, I'm done here. Time to move on again.
There's a mess I gotta clean up at Glendale Hospital.
See you later.
Ah. Not this song again.
Gah. Where's an axe when you need it?
I'm back.
Got a table for two with these memories of mine.
A girl from the past with her pair of brown eyes.
Delicate skin and hair as dark as the night.
I can't seem to leave her behind.
No, I can't get that girl off my mind.
And that might be taking some time, but someday I'll find.
Someday I'll find the good in goodbye.
Got a slow dance to take with these F.M.D. sheets.
A kiss with her ghost in the passenger seat.
And I keep on wondering if maybe she still thinks of me.
I can't seem to leave her behind.
No, I can't get that girl off my mind.
And that might be taking some time, but someday I'll find.
Someday I'll find the good in goodbye.
Well, I'm so damn tired of hurting your soul.
Stairs just racing my paper, wishing you were home.
I'm sick of hurting this game of pretend.
Counting the days till you come back again.
I can't seem to leave you behind.
No, I can't get you off of my mind.
And that might be taking some time, but someday I'll find.
Someday I'll find.
I can't seem to leave you behind.
No, I can't get you off of my mind.
And that might be taking some time, but someday I'll find.
Someday I'll find.
Someday I'll find the good in goodbye.