You've opened the door to the janitor's domain, a broom closet full of wonders.
Beyond the plungers, brooms, and unknown items of disgust are memories of the past.
The memories you are about to hear are not for the faint of heart.
The memories are meant for mature audiences only.
Listener discretion is advised.
Prepare yourself for Tales from the Janitor.
I had meant to talk with my mouth full, but I gotta eat too.
Can I get this to go?
Well, since you're here, welcome to Kansas, the 34th state.
Did you know that part of the state was purchased in the Louisiana Purchase?
However, the southwest section was still controlled by Mexico and the Republic of Texas.
And it wasn't until the Mexican-American War in 1848 that the state became what it is today.
It's also home to the oldest military base west of the Mississippi.
That's some pretty exciting stuff right there, if I do say so myself.
Even though Kansas does have a lot of history, I know you're not here for that, but it does
give me a thought.
Ehh, never mind.
Nobody cares about history anymore anyway.
You're here to hear stories that are just amazing.
So let us begin.
Our first narrative takes place at Johnson County Industrial Airport, or the New Century
Air Center as it's called today.
I think I'm just gonna have one more bite.
Before our next story.
Tower, this is Romeo 5 Charlie 7-8 November coming in.
We are five miles out.
Airspeed 180 knots.
Requesting landing pattern.
Where from here, huh?
Born and raised.
I grew up just outside of Johnson County.
I bet a lot has changed in the last few years.
Oh yeah, this was all farmland before.
Yeah, well you could thank that guy in Germany for having this built.
I met my wife just down that road over there.
Long have you been married?
Two years this summer.
Any kids?
One on the way.
This will be a nice assignment for you then.
Oh yeah, I think having a training center out here is a great thing.
Close to my wife and soon to be child.
Tower, this is Romeo 5 Charlie 7-8 November.
Requesting landing pattern.
Not getting any answer.
Are we on the correct frequency?
Yes, we are.
Alright, try switching to shortwave then.
Roger that.
Switched.
Tower, this is Romeo 5 Charlie 7-8 November.
Requesting landing pattern.
Still no response.
We have to land.
We're on fumes.
Skies look clean.
Yeah, for now, but they can fill quickly.
Tower, this is Romeo 5 Charlie 7-8 November.
Approaching landing strip, Bravo.
Please confirm.
Nothing sir.
Still no response.
Prepare for landing.
Roger that.
Flaps up.
Flaps up?
Strip look clear to you.
Looks clear.
Tower, this is Romeo 5 Charlie 7-8 November.
Approaching landing strip, Bravo.
We are coming in.
Please respond.
We are low on fuel.
Speed 150 knots.
I don't know why the tower isn't responding.
They're probably in the can.
All of them?
Their dad or our radio is out.
For theirs is.
Sir, you see it?
I see it, I see it.
Sir, that's a plane coming right at us.
They're taking off.
This is your captain speaking.
Brace yourself.
This ride is about to get a little bumpy.
Sir, what are you going to do?
Try to miss that plane of course.
Sir, we just lost an engine.
Tell me some good news.
We will lose our second engine soon.
Damn it, I said good news.
Sir the hangar.
We ain't going to make it.
Pull up.
I'm pulling.
Brace for impact.
Sir.
The plane crashed and killed all 54 men on board.
Now you can see their ghosts walking along the grounds as well as hearing strange noises.
No one ever knew why the plane couldn't communicate with the tower.
Some say that everyone on the plane was already dead before the crash.
Records were not kept on aviation crashes until after this accident.
The airfield is now a public airport and very few military planes still use it.
It's just another story that has no meaning to us.
But to those 54 men and their families, it was a story that has it all.
Speaking of which, the next stop on our travels takes us to Hutchinson, where we might have
second thoughts about eating a hamburger.
Thank you for bringing me out here.
Hey, it's no problem.
I wanted to come out here anyway.
With you it's just a bonus.
Why did you want to come out here?
I like to bird watch.
Plus there's so much beauty out here.
And now there's even more.
You don't need to say things like that.
Why not?
I'm already your girl.
True, but once I got you, that doesn't mean I can't say nice things about you.
You are so different than the other guys I've dated.
I sure would hope so.
No, silly.
I mean, you talk so passionate about life and you're getting your degree in biology
soon.
So are you.
I know, but it just seems like you want to do good in this world.
I think we should all strive for that.
Don't you?
Not many people actually do it though.
I'll do my part and more then.
That is what I love about you.
You're always willing to do everything you can to help.
Someone has to make the world a better place.
Just think, once we finish school we can do it together as husband and wife.
We are doing it together.
Right now.
I know, but I'm excited for us being married.
We have to finish school first.
Nothing says we have to.
Your parents did?
Oh now you won't listen to them.
I always listen.
It looks like there's a storm coming in.
Maybe we should think about going back.
We can get off the trail and take a straight shot back.
Yeah, that sounds good.
I'm sorry that we weren't able to stay out here that long today.
It's okay.
We can always come back tomorrow.
I have a presentation that I have to prepare for, remember?
Right.
Okay, so maybe next weekend?
Oh no, that won't work either.
We have June's birthday party in Topeka.
Maybe we can come here afterwards, if we don't stay too late.
We always stay late.
Just don't talk to your mom, and then we wouldn't be staying as late.
Simple.
You want me to not talk to my mom?
Yeah, great plan.
Can you think of something else?
Other than not going, no.
We have to go.
If we don't, we would never hear the end of it.
What was that?
What was what?
Come on, we have to keep moving.
Mike, I swear I heard something.
Penny, it was probably a deer just moving about.
Penny?
Penny, come on!
Quit joking around.
We have to get back.
Penny!
Let her go!
She is mine now.
You let her go this instant.
Oh, don't worry.
You're next.
You let her go this instant.
Mike!
Shut up!
You bastard!
You won't get away with hitting her!
You talk too much.
Mike!
Wake up!
Where are you taking us?
You're invited to dinner.
I would rather not eat with you.
I would like to leave with my fiance, please.
Don't worry.
You're not going to eat with me.
You are what I'm going to eat.
Help!
Mike!
No one out here can hear your screams, pretty girl.
What is it that you want?
I don't have much money, but I can get money.
I don't want your money.
I'm hungry and I want to eat.
Please!
We have arrived.
You sit there and be quiet now.
What am I doing here?
You little girl are going to watch me make my dinner.
Who knows?
Maybe you'll want a bite.
Stop!
Shut up, you whore!
Stop!
Shut up!
Can't a man just enjoy making his dinner in peace?
The Hamburger Man is a tale that has been told since the 1950s.
Visitors to the Sandhills have been careful not to stray off the trails too far.
Some people say that he's a ghost and some say that he was a hermit who was disfigured
during a fire at some point in his life.
If the man was a living person, it's unlikely that he's still living to this day as he would
probably be dead given the age of the tales.
It is said that he would kidnap his victims and he would then slice them with a knife
and then grind their bodies into hamburger meat.
Anybody want to eat a hamburger?
Let's keep going and take a trip to a cemetery and stole.
Just be warned, things are going to get harrowing.
Oh my god.
Ryan, quiet man.
I'm trying to get a sound check.
Don't you need sound to do a sound check?
Dude, we need to be quiet so we don't get caught.
We only have one chance at this.
I know.
Do you have everything else set up?
Yeah.
We got mics set up over there and over there and a camera set up over there.
Here is your mic.
Do you have any idea what you're going to say?
I think I got something.
You know, this is different than anything else that you've done.
This isn't your little audio dramas you normally do.
Talking is talking.
I think I can talk about anything as long as I know what I'm talking about or I have
enough liquid courage in me.
Do you have enough info to talk about this?
You know me.
Whatever I don't know, I'll just make something up.
Come on.
We want this to be a serious podcast like that one series we listened to.
We have to come up with a different name.
Oh, you don't like the name?
Tales from the Janitor.
Sounds like I'm telling stories about picking up trash or cleaning up puke.
Hmm.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, I kind of like it.
It reminds me of all those shows we grew up watching reruns of.
Worry about that later.
You almost set up.
Almost.
Just checking on a couple more items.
Why don't you figure out what you're going to say, huh?
You're about as fast as erosion.
I'm going to get a drink.
No, no, no.
Don't go anywhere.
We're good to go.
Talking to the mic?
Test, test.
Ryan, why don't you do it while not standing next to me?
I'll go stand in front of the camera.
That's a good idea.
Actors.
Damn prima donnas.
Cast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's good.
Are you ready?
Ready as I'll ever be.
Okay, okay.
We're alive in three, two, one.
Welcome to Tales from the Janitor, a show unlike any you have ever heard.
A show about urban legends.
But unlike all the other shows, we go to the locations and talk about them.
Today we are in Stull, Kansas, and we are broadcasting live from the town cemetery.
What is so special about the cemetery, you might ask?
Not much if you're just driving by, as it looks like any other cemetery.
We are on the rubble of the old church.
Now the story of the church is way back when it still stood.
If you counted the windows, I mean, if you counted above the number seven, you were going
to be in danger.
Now what exactly this meant was unknown.
If you tried to break the windows, no matter what you did, they would not break.
Now the church stands in rubble, but we are not here to talk about some building that
is torn down with some unbreakable windows.
You see, there is another story about this piece of land.
It is said that on Halloween night, you'll see a stairway open up into the earth.
Do we know if the story is true or not?
That is why we are here.
Don't go anywhere as we listen to a message from our sponsor.
Oh, no, no, no, no, bro.
Dude, oh my God, we don't have a sponsor yet.
You're going to have to say something else.
All right.
Let me think of something.
All right, I got something.
Don't go anywhere as we will be right back.
How is that?
Um.
Okay.
Yeah, I can work with that.
All right.
So what's next?
Next, we wait to see if this stairway opens up.
And if it doesn't?
Well, then we have a really short story about an old building that was torn down.
So we got shit then?
Basically, yeah.
What are the odds that we'll actually see something?
Um, but the same as getting struck by lightning.
While in a submarine.
Great.
I should have went to the party.
Yes, right.
Drunk girls dressed up like sluts.
The perfect day.
They're not all sluts.
Some are dressed as kittens.
Yeah, like you've never seen a slutty pussycat before?
Turn back on the mics.
Oh yeah, we're hot.
And we're back everyone.
This is it folks.
Something is happening.
The earth is opening up.
Is this the stairway that everyone talks about?
I see it.
I see the stairs.
They're opening up.
The sight is amazing people.
It is so beautiful.
The stairs go down forever.
I see light going down.
I don't know how far the stairs go down.
Hold on people.
I see something or someone coming up the stairs.
Josh, you gotta see this.
Lightning struck.
This is amazing.
Come here.
There's definitely someone coming up the stairs.
You've gotta see it.
People, what I am witnessing is something like you've never seen before.
Josh, don't come any closer.
In fact, run.
Just run.
What do you see?
It's him.
It's the fucking devil.
Ryan, get out of there.
I can't move.
This little cemetery, which is carefully watched by the townspeople that aren't afraid to call
the police when they see trespassers, just so you know, has many secrets that we just
might not ever know about.
How this legend started, no one knows.
An article was written about it in the 70s.
Speaking of demonic beings and hauntings, and the devil himself coming up from the stairs
to visit the grave of his dead child that he had with a witch.
And the dead rising up from the graves.
Vehicles moving on their own are all part of this story.
Supposedly stuff like this happens twice a year.
I don't know about you, but I'd be a little cautious just walking around in a cemetery
after this story.
In fact, I'm going to take you to Atchison just to make sure you're away from this place.
Come on, Tomato.
Let's go take a walk in the park.
I've got some giggle juice.
If my pa catches you, you'll be in the big house for sure.
At least your prom date is still with you.
Mine passed out in the call.
You can join us if you want.
I don't want to be no trouble.
Oh, it's okay.
We just be bumping gums out here anyways.
Maybe I could show you how to dance, Nellie.
What is wrong with my dancing?
Nothing.
If you're a cement mixer.
Am I that bad?
Go ask your date if he has any broken toes.
If not, then you did just fine.
Hmph.
Thank you, Jackson.
Let's go over to that patch of trees over there.
What about Thomas in the car?
Oh, I think he'll be out of it for a while.
Plus, if he wakes up, he'll probably just walk home.
It's only around the corner.
Grab that juice and let's go.
Molly's ready for a good time.
Molly is always ready for a good time.
Call the zoo.
Some gorillas got loose.
Look man, we don't want no problem.
I don't care what you want.
We have a problem.
Mister, we sorry.
We be getting out of your way now.
Come on guys.
No, you got a mouth on you.
You can stay.
We'll talk.
Molly?
Come on, Nellie.
Molly will be okay.
You'll take care of her, right sir?
Oh yes.
Molly and I are just going to talk.
I'll walk her home when we're done.
You see that Nellie?
Molly will be alright.
This man will walk her home.
Run along you two.
Get back to the zoo.
We have houses and names you know.
You're all just rats in a cage to me.
I thought you wanted to talk to me.
You can leave my friends out of this if you please.
You're right.
Talking with one of you is enough for me.
Jackson, Nellie.
I'll be okay.
Please, just go home.
I'll be fine.
You sure Molly?
Yeah, I'll be okay.
Okay, you got me alone.
What do you want to talk about?
You go to school here?
Yes, I graduate this year.
Why are you all dressed up, looking all white?
We were just coming from the prom.
I didn't know they allowed monkeys to dance.
You'd be surprised what we can do.
I bet you're good at hanging from trees.
We've been known to do that.
No help from your people.
We just didn't out the herd so to say.
Is that what I'm doing here?
You thinning out the herd some more.
Oh no, no, I'm your friend.
Your best friend.
I already have friends.
But you could go far with a friend like me.
I don't think I would want that.
Can't say I didn't offer.
Are we done here then?
Can I go home?
Yeah, sure.
Just one more thing though.
What's that?
Can you tell me if this hurts?
Sir I don't want no trouble.
You are trouble.
All of you is trouble.
That's all you'll ever be.
But no more.
Oh now look, your dress got all tore up.
Sir please I beg of you to let me go.
I'm not going to say anything to no one.
I know yous ain't.
I hope and yous be smiling soon.
You ain't given me much to smile at.
If you ain't smiling ain't no one be able to see in you.
Damn I'm going to have to wash up real good.
I've got you on me.
The 1930s were humanity's darkest bloodiest hour.
Molly never made it home that night.
In the morning she was found hanging from a tree, clothes were tattered.
No one ever found out who did it as the police just wrote it off as a brutal slaying of an
African American woman.
Now if you ever visit the park in the middle of the night beware because you just might
see her wander in the park or cries that seem to come out of the air.
Yet no one can be seen.
So many people lost their lives in the 30s and not just in America.
It's all so tragic isn't it?
The cruelty of humanity.
As Nietzsche said, man is the cruelest animal.
Let us all hope that we don't have to relive that era and we've learned our lessons.
Our last legend takes us to a bridge in Emporia where we hear a tale that takes a plunge.
Last pun I swear.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Relax it will be fine.
Just stick to the plan.
Alright well refresh me again.
After we're done here we go home.
You wake up in the morning and call the police stating that your wife never came home.
What if they ask questions?
Sure you came home.
You were tired.
You saw the light on in the study and just assumed that your wife was reading and that
you went to bed.
I don't know if I can do this.
I'm a man of God.
Well I'm a woman of needs.
Do you not want me anymore?
Yes I want you.
Then you know you have to kill her.
There are other ways.
Ways that take too long.
What will the congregation think?
They'll think that a grieving husband found another grieving woman and they ended up falling
in love.
It will only be awkward if you make it awkward.
I'm a man of God.
Most people already think I'm awkward.
Now you will kill in the name of God and when everything is settled we move down to New
Mexico like we planned.
Just like we did with your husband.
I can't help it that he didn't want to get divorced.
But why are we staging the accident here?
People always drive too fast around this corner.
It will look like any other accident.
I just want this over.
Pour this all over her.
Liquor?
She doesn't even drink.
Plus the smell will just wash off in the water.
At least you're still thinking a little bit.
I'm trying to think clearly.
It's just a little hard right now.
So are you ready to start pushing?
Let marriage be held in honor for all and let the marriage bed be undefiled for God
will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
We're all of sin and fall short of the glory of God.
Once a sinner, always a sinner.
Forgive me Lord.
It is finished.
What are you laughing about?
I just changed the oil.
Guess that was a waste of time.
Go home lover boy.
Remember the plan.
We can't be seen together for a couple of days.
We've worked together.
We're going to be seen together.
I feel a cold coming on.
Think I'll need the next couple of days off.
Good night honey.
I hope I can sleep.
You will.
There was an old one way bridge where the pastor and his mistress pushed his wife off
the bridge.
A crime that when he was in trial he said that God told him to kill his wife and her
husband.
Now if you drive by you'll hear the screams of a woman and her ghost appears walking the
shore below.
People come and go so quickly.
Now remember if you see a talking scarecrow you're not in Kansas anymore.
Kansas has a lot more lore to tell and I did my best to tell what I could.
But there's some stories you just gotta find yourself.
But to quote the Wizard of Oz, some people without brains do an awful lot of talking.
I mean I have a brain.
Uh at least I think I do.
Never mind.
I bid you farewell for now.
I'm clicking my heels and going to Waverly Hills.
Maybe I'll see you there.
Just uh don't wear a jacket.
Many a time.
The clock must be playing tricks on me
I woke up in January, April has to leave
Another year running off too soon
Somewhere along the way I left my you
Now I lie awake, and one too many nights
Thinking back to the age it all felt right
Cause life moves so fast, that it makes me cry
When I think of all the days that have passed me by
Life moves so fast, that it not close your eyes
Cause you'll never get it back, that's the thing about time
All the things I told myself I'd do
Some get pushed aside and some stay with you
I don't see my friends much anymore
When did it get so hard to get out the door
Now I lie awake, here almost every night
Wishing I could stay where I felt alive
Life moves so fast, that it makes me cry
When I think of all the days that have passed me by
Life moves so fast, that it not close your eyes
Cause you'll never get it back, that's the thing about time
Yeah, that's the thing about time
Life moves so fast, that it makes me want to cry
When I think of all the days that have passed me by
Life moves so fast, that it not close your eyes
Cause you'll never get it back, that's the thing about time
Yeah, that's the thing about