You've opened the door to the janitor's domain, a broom closet full of wonders. Beyond the
plungers, the brooms, and the unknown items of disgust are memories of the past. The memories
you are about to hear are not for the faint of heart. The memories are intended for mature
audiences only. Listener discretion is advised. Now prepare yourself for Tales from the Janitor.
Oh, you poor thing. Nobody loves you. Not many wanted to fix you up, but you found some people
to help you. At least you're showing signs of when you were young. What's that? You like it when I
clean you? Oh yeah, baby. Right there. Oh yeah. Oh, hey, hey. Nice to see you again. I was just, um...
Look, this is embarrassing. Why don't we just move on and I welcome you to the land of Lincoln
and a place where state food is popcorn. The 25th largest state in land size is the sixth largest
state in population. Now you're probably asking yourself, why does any of this matter? Fact is,
it doesn't. I just thought it was interesting. Illinois is known for many things like jazz and
blues music. But did you know that Illinois has had people living on its land for at least
7,000 years? Now that is a lot of time for people to do some crazy stuff.
Take this house to where we're at right now. Looks like any old house, right? Building 1869,
lived in until 1945. Then it remained empty until 1994. Some say it was haunted,
yet it was never tore down. The current owners have tried to get funding from the state,
federal, and even local agencies, but were unable to secure any grant money. They managed to fix it
up just from donations and tours given through the property. The McPike Mansion almost became
another casualty of history lost in time. I know you probably don't care about any of this,
but I had to say something about it. Well, let's change the subject. I'd like to take us to the
Quincy Levy, where we walk in our own water. Martin. Hey, Martin.
Martin. Yeah? What do you want? I have to clear this area out.
Where were you last night? What are you talking about?
Where were you last night? I was at Mickey's having a beer and dinner.
What did you do afterwards? Come on, I need to get this done.
What did you do afterwards? What? I went home.
And what did you do? I went to sleep.
Did you have company last night? Okay, hold up. What's this all about?
Just answer the question, would you? Did you have company last night or not?
So what if I did? I just want to hear you tell me the truth like a man.
Will you let me get back to work if I do? Perhaps it may.
Fine. I met someone at Mickey's and then I took her home.
What was her name? Julie. Why?
Do you know what my wife's name is? I've never met your wife.
Oh, I'm afraid you have. Well, if I did, I don't remember.
She must have been not that good if you don't remember.
Did you bring her to sight one day? No, silly. But you took her home last night.
What on earth are you talking about? My wife is the one you took home last night.
My Julie is the one you took to your home. Look, I saw no ring on her finger and she
never said she was married. Your luck is going to change, Martin.
What are you talking about? You've been caught.
Look, I didn't do anything wrong. You slept with my wife.
Hey, the problem was with your wife, not me. That's not the way I see it.
I've already dealt with her. Now I have to deal with you too.
Man, I'm sorry. I didn't know she was your wife.
That doesn't make you not a fault. I said I'm sorry.
What is that you want me to do? Get off the dozer.
Fine. You want to take a swing at me? Will that make you feel better?
It would make me feel better temporarily, but it wouldn't last long.
Every time I saw you, I would remember what you did.
So what is it that you want me to do? Quit my job? Leave town?
Leave town? No. I'm not going to let you just leave.
So what is that you want me to do? I was thinking... maybe just a handshake.
A handshake? It's not your fault, right?
You didn't know. Right. I didn't know.
Oh, put it there. I can't believe you thought I was just going to let you go scot-free.
Somebody's going to find out that you did this.
Ain't no one going to find out, because I'm going to bury you in this very levy.
Why? This is what you get for sleeping with my wife.
I ain't no one going to sleep with my wife and get away with it.
According to this Illinois legend, when the levy was being constructed in Quincy,
one of the construction workers took an interest in another man's wife.
The man killed the construction worker and buried him at the construction site.
Now you'll see the man walking the levy, maybe looking for redemption,
or maybe still looking for a way out. You see, the thing about an affair is that it's like a bad penny.
It always turns up when you least expect it.
And the thing about a penny is that you usually just toss them to the side,
because they're usually worthless.
Well, our next episode takes place in Chicago and involves a clown.
Though it is no laughing matter, no, no, no, no. So don't look at me like that.
I am allowed to make puns at my age. Let's go see what Homie the Clown is getting up to.
This is 8-6-10-4 on request.
Put in a watch and show us what's going on, please.
Look, officer, I swear if I'd known you was a cop, I wouldn't have asked you.
Save it for the judge.
Eh, looks like our evening's just getting started.
You got any fresh coffee back there?
Eh, just made it actually. She'll be good.
Hey, sexy. Nice tits.
Quiet down over there, bud.
What? All I said was nice tits. Geez.
For 20 bucks you can see them, honey.
Yeah? What could I get for 50?
For 50? I'll wrap them around your dick.
Shut up. Both of you.
Hey, Randy. Whatcha bringing in today?
Hey, bringing another fine specimen for the lock tank.
Judge is gonna have a busy Monday.
It's only 7 p.m., darling. The night is still young.
Why don't you and I have an interrogation together?
Hey, Alvin, here comes another to put in the cells.
I'll be looking for you later, honey.
Come on, you.
Hey, easy there, darling. I'm wearing heels.
Well, get ones that fit next time.
These were the only ones to go with this skirt.
Maybe I can get put in the cell with her.
Sure, you're going in the drunk tank. Plus, that she is a he.
A sexy little thing like that is a man. I don't believe you.
Believe what you want.
Hey, Randy, since you're the only detective here, I've got a call for you to check out.
Okay. What you got, Sarge?
Got some calls about a clown.
Aren't they all clowns in this town?
No, we got a couple calls about someone dressed up as an actual clown
stalking children trying to get them inside his van.
Great. Another reason to hate clowns.
I think the world could use a few less clowns.
Artists, actors, clowns all sit on the edge of the world, just waiting for a push to go.
Give me the messages and I'll take it to my office.
There you go.
All these?
There was more, but we're in Degum seriously at that point.
Can I just have one normal day?
Welcome to Chicago.
276-9, you're going to 1249 Land apartment 4. It's going to be across the street.
Damn.
Come to the Windy City. It'll be good for your career, they said.
These people probably just went to a bad birthday party.
Yeah.
Mr. Haney.
This is Mr. Haney. Who is this?
Mr. Haney, my name is Randy Pickett from the Chicago Police Department.
You called earlier about a clown that was harassing your child.
Yes, I did.
Can you tell me what your complaint is about?
It's about time you people call me back. I've been calling for weeks.
I'm sorry, Mr. Haney. This is the first I'm hearing about these.
And I'll help you in any way I can.
Well, it's about damn time.
Mr. Haney, please.
There is this person who dresses up as a clown and drives around in a black van,
offering candy to children if they get inside.
Can you describe the clown or the vehicle?
It's an early 80s van. Black. No windows on the side.
And for clowns, sir?
He's dressed like a clown.
Can you give me a little more detail?
I don't know. Makeup, big nose, crazy hair, big feet.
Sir, this is Chicago. I can't pull over every clown I see in a black van.
Now, do you have any more details you can give me?
No, I don't.
Mr. Haney, you're not giving me much to start a case.
Do you know if anything is wrong with the candy or have the children been harmed in any way?
That's to my knowledge.
So other than some stranger dressing up as a clown and offering children candy,
are you aware of any harm or damage he is causing?
No, Mr. Pickett. I don't. Strangers shouldn't be doing that with children.
I agree with you. But as of right now, I don't know if there's anything I can do.
I will call some more people on this and see if there's any more information for me to open a case.
Are there others that called?
Yes, sir.
So far, 30 people today. You have a good day, Mr. Haney.
Yes, thank you.
Hello, Mrs. Page. My name is Randy Pickett.
I'm from the Chicago Police Department, and I would like to talk to you about a clown.
When the heroes go off stage, the clowns come in.
Stephen King in his book, It, said,
everything is a lot tougher when it's for real.
Omi the Clown was a story about a supposed killer clown.
The origin of the story can be traced back to 1990.
The story sparked a nationwide interest in a public controversy and even caused local hysteria.
The urban legend is open for debate, though no hard evidence has ever existed to disprove
or prove that this clown ever existed.
Maybe he's just a product of imagination.
Whether you agree with me or not, I'm not going to lie.
I'm not going to lie about his imagination.
Whether you agree he existed or not, I will just choose to avoid clowns in Chicago for a bit.
I suggest we go to Belleville.
Let me tell you of an incident about two children on the tracks.
To call the Albino twins. Hey, can I get you anything?
No, thanks.
OK, so only take a minute.
So you didn't see anything.
Did you hear anything?
Anyone yelling or screaming for help?
No. Doesn't this ever get to you?
Seeing people dead?
It did.
Then I got used to it.
It must be hard getting used to it.
Yeah, it was pretty hard.
I got used to it.
That's the worst part, you know, getting used to it.
It's something you never really get used to.
Sure. Were those the twins?
Best we can tell.
What were they doing out here?
What are they doing out here? Their family farm isn't close to here.
Best we can tell is they were tied down to the tracks.
Did you know the boys well?
I was their school teacher, so I guess better than others.
Was there anything going on at school that you knew about?
They were bullied and harassed, but they kept mostly to themselves.
Was anything going on at home that you know of?
Not that I'm aware of, or at least not that any of the kids talked about.
What did they talk about?
Mostly just farm life.
They really didn't talk much about family.
You said earlier that their family farm wasn't close to here.
About how far away is it?
At least 15 minutes by horse.
Did they live close to the tracks?
Not at all. They live up the hill, over there, and down the valley.
What about the family? What can you tell me about the family?
Not much really. They keep to themselves mostly.
They only come into town when they need supplies.
I've really only talked to them a handful of times.
Anything odd about them?
Not that I can recall. They seem like really good people.
Is there anything else that you can tell us to help?
Yes, but I don't know if you'll believe it.
Please, let me be the judge of that.
The townsfolk.
What about the townsfolk?
They think the twins were cursed.
Cursed how?
Some of the townspeople have been getting sick.
People get sick all the time.
Yes, but these people blinked.
But these people blame the twins.
Okay, so people were paranoid about the twins.
Happens all the time with things people don't understand.
Still doesn't explain what the boys were doing on the tracks, let alone tied to them.
I think people were beyond paranoid about the twins.
What else do you know?
Half the town was sick, and as I said, a lot of folks blame the twins.
They needed something to blame. The twins drew the short straw.
What was so special about them that had the whole town blaming them?
The kids were nowhere near close to normal.
Ma'am, there is nothing normal about this murder or these kids.
What else can you tell me?
I don't think there's anything else that I know.
Maybe asking the townspeople will get you more clues?
I don't think asking the townspeople will lead me anywhere.
After talking to you,
I'm afraid they are the suspects.
Having twins itself can be considered rare,
but having albino twins can be even more rare.
For those that don't know, albinism is characterized by the complete
or partial absence of pigment in the skin, hair, and eyes.
There are many different variations to this story,
but all of them have the twins being killed on the railroad tracks.
Now, as the story goes, if you park your car or put it in neutral,
your car will begin to roll.
Other people tell if your car is dirty or covered with powder,
you'll see handprints as if your car was being pushed.
The only thing that's never been figured out
is if the twins are pushing you on the tracks,
or off of them.
Our next little anecdote takes us to Collinsville,
where you will hear a tale that I'm sure you will have heard before.
Ha ha ha ha.
Where are my keys?
Are you sure you're okay to drive?
I'm good.
Probably.
I'm good. Promise.
You know what we should do?
What's that?
We should just take the dare.
Are you sure that we want to do this?
What do we have to lose?
Right?
I mean, I could forgive Joe.
Joe is a loser.
It's his loss for kissing Anne.
What about you then?
Eh, you know me and my luck with guys.
It might be easier if you could keep them longer than a week.
I can't help it.
I get bored.
I just haven't found the one that, you know, lights my fire.
I don't know how you're not on fire right now.
You should talk.
So how do we do this anyway?
There are seven gates that we have to go through.
Do we have to do them in order?
Yeah.
We're coming up on the first one now.
Are you sure that we have to do it?
Look, if you're having second thoughts, we can always stop.
No, we can do this.
We will have time to second guess ourselves later.
We have seven stops to go through, you know.
The first one's right there.
Here we go.
The first gate is here.
I've been through this place a bunch of times.
We all have.
But there are seven.
Oh, now make a quick left to get to gate two.
Here?
Yeah, turn now.
How far down this road?
Just a little bit.
Gina, what's that hanging from the bridge?
It looks like a body.
It looks like a boy.
Should we stop and help?
Is he waving at us?
I think so.
We are not stopping here.
Just go, Jen.
Just go.
He's waving and smiling at us.
Gina, I'm getting scared.
Just keep going.
That was freaky.
Just keep going.
You'll want to take the next right turn.
What do you think that was back there?
Probably just some kid playing a trick.
Well, it wasn't funny.
No, it wasn't funny at all.
Where's the next road you want to turn down?
Oh, when you see a road that runs next to the tracks, turn left.
You mean like this road?
That would be it.
So as soon as we cross the tracks, we turn right.
Oh, turn here.
This road's not too bad.
The road itself isn't bad.
It's the tunnels we have to go through.
There are some tunnels coming up.
This is gate three and four is the next one after this.
Here we go.
Gate three.
At least there's nothing hanging from this one.
Looks like we are coming into a valley now before the next bridge.
What is that smell?
What's that over there?
Those are animal carcasses.
Piles of them.
What are they all doing out here?
I don't know.
I really don't know.
I see the fourth gate.
This is getting weird.
Maybe we shouldn't be doing this.
What, are you getting scared now?
I'm not scared.
Life goes on.
Okay, this is gate four.
These are the four.
Do you see that house just past the gate?
Kind of weird for a house to be out here.
Kind of spooky if you ask me.
Do you hear a car approaching?
Yeah, it's gotta be a beater.
Sounds like it's barely running.
It sounds like it's coming right at us, but I don't see anything.
Maybe it's at the house.
Keep driving.
Maybe once we get past the next gate.
Why haven't we passed gate four yet?
I don't know.
I'm doing thirty.
Weird.
But hurry up.
Let's get past four.
I think that house is something.
I'll go faster.
I still hear that car.
It doesn't feel like we're moving.
Maybe we should stop?
Just go faster.
Okay, it does feel like it's getting close now.
Ugh, good.
I just want to move on to the next one.
Finally, this must be gate four.
What now?
That is not a friendly house.
What are they doing?
If I had to guess?
That has to be a beater.
I don't know.
Maybe it's a beater.
I don't know.
Maybe it's a beater.
That has to be...
a ritual?
Are they naked and wearing animal heads?
Just drive down the next gate down the road a bit.
Anything to get away from that death house?
Are we still doing this?
We are more than halfway.
We can keep going.
I don't think nothing less of you if we stop.
Do you want to stop?
I'm game for us to keep going, but
If it's too weird, we can stop.
Weirder than what we've already seen?
Yeah.
Weirder than that.
Here comes gate five.
That is a narrow tunnel.
We can make it.
It's long too.
Nothing looks weird about it.
I'm going in.
This tunnel is dark.
Aren't all tunnels dark?
It's a tunnel, not a cave.
And we are through.
Anything weird?
No, nothing weird about this at all.
It was just a long tunnel.
Are you sure we went through the right one?
Positive.
Where do we go from here?
Uh, stay on the road?
And gate six is just a little further down.
Only two more gates.
Yeah, only two more.
What happens when we pass gate seven?
I have no idea.
I thought you've done this before.
I never said that.
Then how do you know where all the gates are?
Jared told me about them.
Who is Jared?
He's the guy I met at the bar last week.
Geez, girl. How many guys have you been with?
I was never with him.
We had a couple of drinks.
And some laughs.
Whatever.
So you don't even know if this is real or not?
I don't know if anything is real anymore.
But after what we've seen,
I gotta believe.
I mean, we have seen some crazy...
Jen! Watch out!
I can't, Jen!
What the hell just happened?
I know you just saw that.
We just drove through the explosion.
Look behind you.
It's just an empty tunnel.
There's no car.
How can that be?
We saw it, right?
Maybe we should be turning around.
Where's the seventh gate?
Almost before we get to Troy.
Let's just see if we can get to it.
When did you get so brave?
You must be rubbing off on me.
Either that or you took some brave juice
before we left.
I haven't had a drink all day.
Even though I wish right now I had some.
You and me both, sister.
So the next gate is a couple of blocks away?
Yeah.
The last gate.
And you have no idea what we're going to see?
None whatsoever.
Do you know?
Whatever happens, you have always been there for me.
You're my best friend.
Don't talk like that.
Like what?
Like we're going to die.
Here comes the last gate.
Are we doing this?
Let's do this.
It's one minute before midnight.
We need to wait until midnight to cross.
Gina, thank you.
Jen,
you're my best friend.
Let's go.
Here we go.
We made it.
All
seven gates.
I don't
see anything.
Are you sure you followed the directions exactly?
Yes.
Gina,
where are those?
Gina!
Get out, Jen!
Run for it!
The Seven Gates of Hell
is an interesting tale
about where one might be able
to enter hell.
The Seven Gates
is a story of extreme creepiness.
The weird thing about
this tale is it has to take
place at midnight.
Most other tales take
place around 3am.
As that is the witching hour.
My advice
is don't trust directions you get
from some random guy you meet in the bar.
Even though I don't know
why you should or shouldn't trust it,
trust is a funny word.
It's on every bill.
It's on every dollar.
Yet it's something that you
cannot buy.
But the only way to find out if
you trust someone, well,
is to trust them.
Today you can no longer go
through the Seven Gates because multiple
gate roads are closed.
I wonder what it would have been like
to travel the route of the Seven Gates.
But I guess
that's why they call it an urban legend.
Well,
I hope you enjoyed Illinois.
Our next trip doesn't take
as far as we're only going right next
door. I got something I
need to do with the uh,
Whisper's Estate.
Only I'm not gonna drive.
I hope
to see you there.
Whoa!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
This world,
it's so
unkind.
One day you're king,
the next you're crucified.
What good
is true
without love?
What good are we
if just flesh
and blood?
This world,
it's so
cruel.
You think you've won the game and they've
gone and changed the rules.
But maybe
I'm just a fool
to believe
there's something beautiful
inside of
you and me.
But how long
must I wait
to see this
world change?
Oh, I long for the day
that my tears are gone.
And each day that goes by,
each day that goes by,
I watch evil rise.
And it's getting harder
to find
where beauty belongs.
This world,
it's so dark
and loves to stomp the fire
out of every broken heart.
But if I refuse to let this flame
in me die,
oh, I can light the world up
with one spark at a time.
Huff, huff, huff, huff, huff.