You've opened the door to the janitor's domain.
A broom closet full of wonders.
Beyond the plungers, brooms, and unknown items of disgust,
are memories of the past.
The memories you are about to hear
are not for the faint of heart.
The memories are meant for mature audiences only.
Listener discretion is advised.
Prepare yourselves
for Tales from the Janitor.
Ooh, what did this guy eat?
I mean, I don't even know what color that is.
Ugh, I've got to get something stronger for this.
Oh, hey.
Um, sorry about the smell.
I have no idea what's in here.
It's like, it's like something, uh,
well, you know.
Welcome to the state that God enriches.
Or, ditat deus, as they say in Latin.
At least this place is a lot warmer than our last place.
I'm glad that you found me here.
I bet you didn't know that this hotel started off as a hospital.
In 1930, the hospital was listed as the most modern
and well-equipped hospital in Arizona.
The hospital closed down twenty years later, though,
due to the mining operation shutting down in the area.
The hospital sat abandoned for forty-six years
when it was finally turned into a hotel.
There are a lot of stories about this hotel.
Maybe we'll talk about one.
But first, let's take a trip to Flagstaff
and hear from this lovely family.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
I can't believe the kids are asleep.
Well, they should.
They've been running around all day at that canyon.
Aww, they were so cute.
And I'm so glad they opened that place up.
It should be around for many years.
It was so wonderful there.
All the colors and the rice and the food was so good.
I can't believe everything cost so much money.
Who would have thought there was so much to do in the canyon?
If we go again, I wonder what type of fun things they'll have next time.
I need a second job.
I think we should go again next weekend.
What if I should drive to Mexico and sell my kidney?
Did you say something, dear?
Huh? What? No, just don't get out loud.
We should stop for gas.
Oh, that would be good.
I need to go to the bathroom anyway.
If you didn't buy all those fruity drinks.
Did you say something, dear?
I hope it's nice and clean for you.
Aww, that's so sweet of you to say, dear.
And he has no idea that I heard every word.
What was that, honey?
Oh, I said I think I see one up ahead.
Good. We're practically running on fumes.
I'll just fill it up and watch the kids while you use the bathroom.
And when you get back, I'll go inside and pay the man.
Oh, why don't you just give me $20?
I'm not going to put $20 of gas in the car.
Oh, I know, dear. I just want enough to cover it.
Oh, okay. Everybody's taking my money today.
Are we home yet?
No, not yet, honey. Just had to stop for gas.
Go back to sleep.
Dad, where's mom?
She's using the restroom.
Can I go inside?
Do you have to go?
Uh, no. I just want to look around.
It's a gas station. You've been inside them before.
Well, not this one.
There you go. $12.30.
Good. Here comes your mom.
Did you have fun today?
Yes, I did. We should go again another time.
Oh, not you too.
Where's my change?
Here's $4.37.
Gas was only $12.30.
What did you buy?
They have these cute license plates that have names on it. I got one for each of us.
What am I supposed to do with this license plate that has my name on it?
Honey, watch out!
What was that thing? It looked like a sheep.
I think you mean a ram.
Sheep, ram, same thing. What is going on out here?
I swear it was wearing pants.
Everyone okay back there?
Let's just get home.
How much longer until we get home?
We're pulling on our street right now.
I really have to use the bathroom.
Our house is right there. Can you hold it?
No, but I have to go really bad.
Two more minutes and we'll be home dear.
Honey, why don't you drive a little faster?
Our house is only 200 feet away.
I'll get Junior. Go open the door for her.
Okay, come on sweetie. Let's go inside.
Come on boy. You are getting heavy.
What is that noise? What the hell?
Do you have Junior? Honey?
Who are those?
These people?
Get inside.
Is that a mountain lion? Oh my God, is that a mountain lion?
Go, get inside now woman.
Now imagine if you will driving on a lonely road and you hear something knock it on your window.
And you look and you see what you can't describe even though you are speeding down the road.
You might have met a skinwalker.
Skinwalkers are an unknown group of witch doctors that disguise themselves as animals to gain trust with other humans.
They say to become a skinwalker you must kill someone close to you or a family member.
This gives them the power to shape shift and read people's minds and control them.
This family was lucky as the skinwalkers were only having a little fun.
Will our next protagonist be so lucky?
They are in at Luanna's Canyon just outside of Kingpin.
Mom, I'm hungry. We haven't eaten for days.
Mom?
We have to wait until your father returns.
Mom, when is that? I'm hungry.
As soon as your father is done waking snakes I suppose.
I'm hungry.
Hungry.
Calm down kids. You'll be fine.
Mommy!
Mommy, I'm hungry.
That's it. Both of you. Both of you button up and sit down. Now!
Mom!
Mom! Why are you doing this?
I'm doing this for your own good.
Because now you won't be hungry anymore.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Mary had a little lamb. Little lamb. Little lamb.
Mary had a little lamb.
Whose fleece was wide as white as my wedding dress covered in blood.
Oh no! God!
What have I done? What have I done?
This miner's family was waiting for their father to return with food and money.
A return that never happened.
A household ran out of food and time. A simple family struggling to survive.
Only to let the madness win.
Luana has many stories and this was only one of them.
Nowadays people have reported hearing the cries of Luana's canyon.
Or Slaughterhouse Canyon as it's known to the locals.
The cries they claim are from the mother who went mad.
Shall we go to the woods?
Well there's a story about a patrolman I want to tell you.
Hey lend me five dollars. I need to get some gas on the way home.
What about the five dollars I gave you last week?
Come on what's our friendship worth?
You would owe me.
Come on man I won't make it home.
Here you go. I got my girl coming here after work today anyways.
Oh Valerie's coming huh? You finally gonna ask her?
Yeah she should be here any moment now.
You know you should take her up to that cabin.
Yeah I saw a path that leads right to it.
It would get you away from the rest of the guys around here.
Most are going to go home.
Yeah well you better act quick though. I think she just pulled up.
Guys guys I've not seen a woman before.
Alright have fun buddy. See you on Monday.
See ya.
Hey Val come on let's get out of here.
Well what's the rush honey? You know I've never been here before.
We just don't have a lot of time.
Oh why where are you taking me?
Well there's a nice view of this path.
Maybe we could watch the sunset?
And here I was thinking you were going to take me to a spooky cabin so you can make a move on me.
I don't need a spooky cabin to make a move.
Jeremy.
It must be nice to work out here all the time.
Oh it just smells lovely.
The fresh air, the peace and the quiet.
Oh how I'd love to live here.
Yeah the peace and quiet.
Valerie?
Yes Jeremy?
I was going to wait to ask you this but would you be my...
Enjoying a nice walk today?
Oh hello officer.
Huh I didn't see you out here.
Ah just out here for a walk.
Enjoying the sights.
Enjoying the sights? Are you here for the sunset too?
Well the sunset is nice.
I'm sure its beauty cannot compare to you.
Oh wow that is so sweet of you. Did you hear that Jeremy?
Yeah that was really sweet.
If you want I can show you a really nice spot to see the sunset. No one ever goes to it.
Oh that would be darling. Oh Jeremy Jeremy please can we go?
Val I was going to tell you that. Hey where are you going?
I'm sorry I thought you were going to say yes.
It's not that far away.
I have to tell you your beauty makes me truly appreciate being able to see.
Oh that is so sweet.
Who needs a sunset when your smile is what makes this world go round.
I thought you said it wasn't far away.
It's not that much further.
Are we walking to the canyon?
Keep up. No one ever thinks to look at the sunset from the canyon.
Oh this is going to be amazing.
I was hoping that it would be amazing for just the two of us.
I think there might be something wrong with my eyes.
What's wrong?
I can't seem to take them off you.
Look sir this is my girl. She's mine. She's with me.
Here comes the sunset.
Oh it's beautiful. Oh Jeremy look. Oh it's just wonderful.
What's that on the wall?
Valerie I think that's an animal hanging.
And that's an organ and another animal and another.
No no no that's human.
Valerie I think we need to go.
Don't let my friends interrupt your good time.
Valerie we're leaving now.
Oh Jeremy get me out of here.
This is an old cabin. Maybe we can get in. It's on the way.
Oh Jeremy get me out of here.
The cabin is coming up.
I'm grabbing this gun.
Oh good and slow to two.
Leaving so soon?
This way Val come on.
Oh Jeremy please.
My truck should be right down the hill.
I'm so glad I don't have to.
The truck should be right over here. Wait what? We're back at the canyon?
How do we get back here?
I don't know. Come on let's go this way.
Oh Jeremy I don't want to die please.
Okay the truck should be right over this hill.
I'm there yet. I can't keep running much longer.
I see the truck.
Oh thank god I see it.
Oh wait did Aaron wait for us?
No the patrolman.
Oh Jeremy I'm scared.
Get out of my truck.
Get out of my truck now.
Oh he's not moving.
Oh he will.
He still isn't moving.
Jeremy oh he still isn't moving.
Oh he's not gone. He's not gone.
Valerie what are you doing? Don't go over there.
The truck is empty.
It can't be. I know we shot him right in the chest.
There's no blood and the truck is locked. What?
There he is.
Where? I don't see him.
Over there.
Let her go.
Leave her alone.
Valerie no. I wasn't aiming at you.
Valerie died almost instantly. A mercy death of sorts to this sword and pail.
Jeremy brought her body to the town where he explained his story in detail to the local law enforcement.
He was arrested and convicted for murder and sentenced to death.
After his death a young couple was up there and claimed to find the cabin and explained it in the same detail with one slight variation.
They described a woman who was half skinned matching the description of Valerie.
Sitting next to a fire tending it and she asked them to join her before they both fled.
Did Jeremy kill his girlfriend or was it the patrolman capturing his prize?
Stories about the lost patrolman have circulated the area since the 1920s.
All very similar about the patrolman taking a female prize.
Many people have seen this lost man. Maybe you have too.
My next tale is... well, I'll just let you listen to it.
That was so much fun today at the crater. I can't believe how big it is.
I'm just glad we brought enough water.
It is what you do in the desert.
The other people that were there were really nice.
Yeah, they were some cool cats.
That paper shaker was all over you.
She may be the dolly of her town but you know that you are my girl.
But let's not forget that bird dog that was all over you.
Oh, he was just being friendly.
Wanda, he wanted to play backseat bingo with you.
You're just being a wet rat.
If you want I can turn this back around and you can go make some curtain climbers with him.
The only ankle fighters I want are from you.
Three more weeks and we'll be circled. Are you excited?
I am. I just hope we don't become squares.
We're too hip for that to happen.
I hope we can grow old together. Oh, I can just imagine us.
We'll be sitting on our porch, drinking our lemonade, wearing our peepers, yelling at the kids to slow down.
I'm not wearing any cheaters.
Oh, that's a big tickle. You're half blind already as it is.
Are we going to the bash tomorrow night?
I think it would be nifty if we went.
You just want to flip your lid.
Yeah. I mean, if you don't want to go, we could always go to the passion pit.
Now you're talking.
Hmm.
Hey, I think I see someone on the side of the road.
Oh? I think we should stop.
Wanda, it's midnight.
Brent, you should stop. If that was us, you'd want someone to stop and help us.
Okay, I'll stop.
You two all right?
Yeah, we're good.
Animal jumped out in front of us and now I can't get the car started.
Ain't that a bite.
We're heading up to Buckeye. Do you want a lift?
I don't want to put you two out or anything.
Honey, let's get a ride from them and we can come back in the morning to fix it.
My buddy is a mechanic. I'm sure that he wouldn't mind coming down and helping you out.
I wouldn't want to put anyone else out.
Ah, he owes me anyways. He'll do it.
You sure it wouldn't be much of a problem?
Not at all. Come on, you can grab your stuff and hop in.
Thank you. I'm Jack, by the way. And this is Nancy. We're on our honeymoon.
Oh Brent, it must be a sign.
What? That we're going to break down on our wedding night?
No, silly. We help these newlyweds and it'll make our wedding even better.
You got your jacket, honey?
Yep, I'm ready.
You don't mind the back seat, do you?
Not at all.
Not at all?
So, where were you cats going on your honeymoon?
We were going to Lake Tahoe.
That is a drive. Pretty far north.
Yeah, we've been driving for a while now.
Where are you from?
Oh, we're from Easta here. A small town.
If you don't mind, we're pretty beat. Mind if we catch a little shut eye?
Wanda, leave the nice couple alone, will ya?
I'm sorry. How much longer till we get home?
We got about an hour.
An hour? Maybe I'll try to catch a little sleep too.
Knock yourself out.
Will you wake me if you get tired?
Wanda, I'm fine.
Wanda, Wanda, wake up. Wanda!
Are you feeling sleepy already?
No, I'm fine. Check on our passengers, will ya? I haven't heard anything in a while.
Okay. Brent, pull over.
What is it?
Just pull over.
What's the big deal?
Did you stop anywhere?
No. Why?
They're... gone.
What are you talking about?
Look for yourself.
Where did they go?
Are you sure you didn't stop anywhere?
I've been driving the whole time.
Then where did they go?
On Route 85 just outside of Ajo in the 1950s, a happily married couple was on their way to Lake Tahoe for their honeymoon.
When they suddenly struck a boulder in the middle of the night.
The couple died instantly. The moon was not out, and the road was near pitch black.
People driving this road around midnight have claimed to witness a car on the side of the road flagging people down.
People often stop, offering them a ride.
But the couple always vanishes once the drivers leave the crater range area.
So, be aware of the hitchhikers that you might pick up near crater edge.
You might pick up people that will never get to any destination.
Our final destination for today, ironically, takes us back to where we began.
This very hospital. Or the United Verde Hospital as it was once known.
The
Just what I need after a long night.
Cold brew and some good TV.
Good evening everyone. Today's top story, Robert Kramer, famed American a-
The hell?
Stupid hotel television.
Won't even turn on now.
What the?
Oh, just a shampoo bottle.
How the hell did it fall?
Oh, hey.
What is going on at this room?
What? Who's there?
Is someone there?
What the hell is going on?
Today we saw a high of 92 degrees. Tomorrow looks to be in the low 90s as well.
A perfect day to be in the air conditioning.
Now on to the world news. The Rockefeller Christmas tree was cut down today in Connecticut and will now begin its journey to-
Hello? Is this a front desk?
Yes, I would like to switch rooms.
What do you mean there are none available?
No, no, I'm not staying here.
You know what, you can keep the money. I'm going somewhere else.
There are many stories about this hotel. From hearing voices, screams, laughter, and coughing, to smelling baby powder, appliances becoming unplugged, cats roaming the halls and scratching the doors.
If you're interested, I'm sure that you can read about it while we go to our next stop.
I'll leave you with a quote from my favorite movie that was filmed in this state before we part.
In Interstate 60, Gary Oldman's character said,
Every event is inevitable. If it wasn't, it wouldn't happen.
Given an infinite universe, an infinite time, all things will happen.
That means that every event is inevitable, including those that are impossible.
And it's as good an explanation for all of this as anything else.
Well, see you in the Crescent Hotel.