The podcast you're about to listen to is for
adults only. Anyone under 18, please turn on
Kidz Bop right now. Any opinions or advice that
we give on this show should not be taken too
seriously as we are not professionals at all.
With that being said, make yourself a drink and
join us on our journey as a married couple enjoying
the lifestyle in beautiful Southern California.
We are back once again. It's like we never left.
It's like we never left. So tonight, our goal
is to get back into part two, part two of our
kind of intro to the LS episodes that we started
a couple weeks ago, actually about a month now.
Really? That long? Yeah, because We did the first
episode and then we did the hidden the streets
hidden the streets with the sweets hitting the
streets in this That's my Florida where we didn't
hide them. We're not they're not hidden We're
hiding the streets from the sweets So we yeah,
we did that so it's actually that's probably
a little bit less than a month, but So I have
a I have I have I have a bone to pick with you
the fuck I didn't do anything. Um, I think we
should When we do our hidden the streets with
the sweets hitting the streets with the sweets
Hit in the streets Hit in my wife with a bat
I think we should keep those to 15 minute episodes.
Yeah, I feel like our recap was too long It was
too long and the quality is not great. Yeah,
I think it was a good show and I think it was
wasted on Background noise. Yeah, because we
were told by one of our friends and she was like,
yeah It's really hard to listen to those and
I completely understand it was never intended
on being Like a full -fledged full format show.
Yeah But it it worked out that day because we
were talking about like it's it's good to try
to recap the party events like sooner than Right
after you've had them. Otherwise, we forget like
a bazillion things and we still miss stuff. We
did But ultimately, I think we should probably
just try to maybe just take notes or something
and then save it for a normal format in studio
show. Yeah. Because those are supposed to be
like quick hitters. Do our own voice memos just
of the highlights. Exactly. But you live and
you learn. And you know, we're only on episode,
I think 60 something. So you learn new lessons
every day. So before we go any further. We're
gonna get into our drink of the night I will
go first cuz I am very special so vodka Sprite
You're a basic bitch I didn't have it in me tonight
to go crazy I went crazy you did you ate a very
very delicious drink. Yeah. Well, I was inspired
by Facebook Inspiration my inspiration was from
Facebook So mine is a peanut butter martini.
So it's two ounces of, I use whipped cream vodka,
but that's because we didn't have vanilla vodka.
And then one and a half ounces of Baileys and
then an ounce of peanut butter, which I use chunky
peanut butter. And I thought that might. Be a
problem, but because it was all in a shaker and
I strained it. It actually didn't become an issue
So it was good took the chunks out Yeah, and
then I garnished it since it's you know, just
past Halloween and we had a lot of Halloween
candy I garnished it with a Reese's peanut butter
cup and it was delicious, right? It was delicious.
It is delicious. This drink will be featured
on the Main photo of our podcast since it was
so pretty we took a picture of it. So pretty
So a couple of things before we get into number
two, part two. First and foremost, I wanna congratulate
Swinger's Couch Podcast for getting back on the
air. They had to, they took a little break, mainly
for mental health reasons and he just needed
to take care of himself and they've since released
two podcasts and it's good to hear them back
on the air. Welcome back. Welcome back. And they
actually thanked you personally for their, for
his birthday, happy birthday, birthday photo.
Well, you're welcome. You're very welcome. I
live to please. So I will say, we celebrated
my birthday on the podcast, last, last podcast.
I did not receive any birthday boobies. No? No.
That's sad. Yeah, I'm not really sure what happened.
Maybe people just didn't hear it. Maybe there's
a malfunction I don't know the texting function
Google must have been broken. I don't know So
I fully expect everybody belated birthday. Yeah,
I belated birthday boobies be be be just as good
I accept everybody's apologies And I'll expect
those photos. So here in a little bit. I'll play
the the commercial that has our Sweetums sex
line which you can send all your best photos
to your best belated birthday boobies. Now we
got four B's best belated birthday boobies bonanza
five B's So we see oh really quick before you
going any further Upcoming events November 14th.
It's a Friday night. It's coming up here very
soon We are doing another say less productions
slash my band Get together party at a bar It's
gonna be a great at a bar at a bar. It's not
a full takeover. It is open to the public but
Whenever we do our events there, you know, we
probably 50 % 60 % easy And it's always a fun
party. So we got another one coming up. It's
always packed. If you're on Cassidy, you can
just search it on parties and events. November
14th. It's going to pop up. If you're not on
Cassidy and you want more information, you can
just text our Sweetums sex line and I can give
you more information if you need it. It's going
to be a great time. It always is got to get there
early because it sells out. So That and then
November 22nd, which is a following Saturday.
We are going to be going to the San B. Day of
the Dead. What is it? I think it's Dia Los Muertos.
Muertos. La Bamba. But that what you just said
and Glow Party. Dia de los Muertos. Muertos?
Something of that nature. Your Spanish is. Dead
on it's so good. So it's so bueno. It's mucho
bueno Should we oh, I think I want to do your
cooking video I think I'm gonna put your cooking
video audio. What? Yes. No, no, no Anyways We
uh digress like a motherfucker So we got those
two big parties. And of course, we're doing New
Year's Eve the plush in San Diego, but that's
still a little bit away. So we'll talk more about
that a little bit. So let's get into part two.
Get your notepad out, your handy dandy notebook.
All right, so we finished off talking about,
in my opinion and your opinion, the need for
labels. Which we got yelled at by another friend,
but I think she came around she didn't understand
I think part of it and then her husband had told
her something different and then it was this
whole thing and she literally was like I have
a bone to pick with you guys and I'm like lady
But I think by the end yourself a podcast if
you want to be But I think by the end of the
clarification I think she more understood where
yeah, so and And even though he he still doesn't
like labels, I think I think he started to come
around understanding that maybe he's a difficult
one. There are so many dynamics out there. It's
it's really hard to go into any type. I hate
labels like I don't like labels. But like people,
for instance, labels put me in a box a lot because
women will be like, oh, she's not by she's not
this or what is curious me. And it's like somehow
I have to label the fact that I go with the flow
in a lot of situations and I enjoy women to an
extent but it's not like I'm like seeking that
but at the same like it's just I don't know but
you can't label it but I mean you kind of have
to in some places but it's also gotten me in
situations where people are like, oh, I don't
know what to do with her because she's just by
curious or by comfortable or whatever. Yeah.
And I'm like, or whatever I say, whatever our
profile says by comfortable or whatever it says,
it's like, well, what does that mean? Is it just
mean that you're OK with other people being by?
Are you OK with like, you know what I mean? Like
and it can mean a lot of different things. Yeah,
for sure. So like I've I've seen some profiles
where I'll look at. I'll look at the couple and
I'm like, they're an attractive couple. But then
as I read the profile, it literally says, you
know, the woman half of your must be fully bi.
Yeah. And that just for me, I scratched that.
Yeah. Because I know you don't want that type
of pressure. No, because I don't want any pressure.
I mean, pressure does make diamonds, but it does.
I'm not cool. You aren't. So. It is good to have
some level of you know understanding what you're
getting into so that being said I Think our dynamic
is shifting a bit. Is it I think so Because our
dynamic has always been It's never been tit -for
-tat. We talked about that last time. Yeah, I
don't like that tit -for -tat thing We've never
been tit -for -tat like sometimes things lean
more towards one way or the other But something
we've We've always we've always been same room,
you know that that hasn't changed but I think
we're starting to open up more into potential
like single male type things type situations
and You've had now a couple encounters with some
dudes at bars and and like It's been fun Talking
about an experiment with experiment and with
it We haven't like fully done anything with it
necessarily, but the thought is there And and
like the other night what we talked about at
Athena's Like some guy was in there without his
woman. Yeah And I was totally on board and we
jumped onto the bed and it was on its way to
be an MFM But time wasn't allowing I know fucking
time so for that situation like I personally
was not gonna be getting anything with her hit
you know so like it wasn't i would have made
sure you're all right yeah it would have been
fine but i mean it's like it wasn't that was
a very untit for tat situation like there was
literally no chance of that because she was out
somewhere else and i was fine with it yeah so
i was like okay this you know and we've we've
toyed with the idea like ultimately you want
to be gang banged so i'm kind of like i'm I'm
down for it, but I feel like, I feel like we
need to have, you know, a few, a few MFMs under
our belt before. You just literally were like,
I mean, ultimately you want to be gang bae. So
I mean, before we go MMMMMMMMMMF, I want to have
a MFM in there somewhere, you know, a few of
them just to kind of, you know, so. The only
issue that we've had with is a couple of the
guys that you have met at bars are not part of
their lifestyle. And I'm not opposed to it, but
it does concern me a little bit more. Just in
a sense of they don't necessarily know the rules.
And I'm not opposed to it, but I feel like there
has to be a fairly lengthy conversation. If you
get an LS single male, for the most part, it's
not a perfect science, but they're gonna have
a concept of, you're coming in, you're a prop,
you're part of this equation, you're not a boyfriend.
Yeah, don't get any emotional attachment. You
meet someone at a bar that's vanilla. Right.
there's you know, you have a great personality.
So it's like, it could be that becomes more than
that. Right. So you just have to be careful.
And I understand that. So I don't I'm not concerned
that you're gonna fall in love with some random
from a bar. But he might fall in love with you.
So chances are high. So I just feel like we've
we've had a couple situations where like you've
met some guy at a bar and and It's it hasn't
gone any further than some kissin and it's been
fun But yeah, it's like it's like the vanilla
hunt and you know, it's like, yeah sounds fun
Sounds fun in theory, but it can get messier.
I mean anything Messy I just the potential is
a little bit higher. Yeah, speaking of like putting
labels on things or whatever they don't have
any of that yeah kind of idea necessarily like
for and then like for me like a guy at a bar
picking up on you and bringing them home he's
just be like like He just has to understand.
It's not a cuck situation It's a it's a mutual
like I'm sharing and I just feel like there has
to be commerce more conversations and But ultimately,
yeah, we'll see we'll see where the cards fall
as they say So that's that's where I feel like
there's been a shift and I opened up our profile
two single males about two weeks ago and kind
of kind of regretting that decision, because
fuck, my God. There's some sleazebags out there.
Oh my Lord, but yeah, every now and then I'm
like, maybe I should close it again, because
it just gets a little overwhelming. But ultimately,
we do have one single male in the LS that we've
talked to a little bit, but nothing's trans come
out of it. You know who I'm talking about? He's
a bird Mmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So
nothing's really come out of that yet We've talked
to him here and there and he's we've hung out
with him a few occasions and seems like a cool
dude You know, you never know down the road.
No, he's nice. So That's speaking of dynamics
Dynamics can and will change Oh for sure like
you might start as one thing and then you might
flow into something else Yeah, and you just kind
of have to be fluid They always say don't change
your dynamic in them like the moment Who's they?
everybody Everybody I mean, I think that's a
solid answer especially future if you're drinking
I think so if you're like don't change your rules
like like if you're not a full -swap Couple going
into a party and then you're in a bedroom. Yeah,
it sounds like a good idea I I wouldn't recommend
yeah, I mean do it do what you want to do I'm
not here to tell you what to do or what not to
do I'm just here to give you my clear like advice,
but I would advise against it if you especially
if you're drinking I Don't think we've ever changed
our Have we I don't I don't feel like there's
ever been a situation where we didn't kind of
go into it There's been I think scenarios where
things have kind of like of like You with single
girls, which I'm not that's not my since I'm
not I Don't love that part, you know, I'm not
like oh I'm not girl forward. So I kind of need
the four -way dynamic like to kind of flow into
that so There's been scenarios where like single
women have been introduced and I'm that's been
uncomfortable that we've that's happened kind
of Not like we didn't talk about it. Just started
happening organically organically and then I
was like, oh I don't love this and then it's
caused sometimes a little bit of a riff but That
wasn't intentional I don't think on anybody's
part. No, that's very much kind of in the moment.
Yeah But yeah, I don't think we've done anything
like super major changes that have In that I
could think of moment. I can't either think of
anything. So you mentioned four -way connections
What does that mean to you? You've got your phone
out if we can see you got like your phone out.
You're very like official right now Well, I'm
I have I have just a shit ton of notes, but they're
in no order Okay, so I'm trying to like like
make sense of it as the flow of the conversation.
Yeah, I get it I mean and again just so everybody
knows I've not seen this list of notes that he
has he's just throwing it at me as I guess the
conversation is flowing but when you said four
-way I'm like, all right, you're like Crossed
that one off now and check Yeah, so I think some
people have like a hard like like boxes and I
think we've talked about this like boxes to check
for things and I Don't really need to check like
a shit ton of boxes just a few will work You
know, like I just need a box. I'm not looking
for my forever. I'm looking for my right now
and my moments tear moment so I Do know that
a lot of people struggle with four -way connections
for me. It's more about like The biggest thing
is personality. Like if you have a shitty personality,
it's not gonna happen. I don't care what you
look like Literally, I can't so I guess that's
my biggest thing for a let's call it a four -way
connection like if the two people Have shitty
personalities or one of the two people have shitty
personalities i'm like it's a no for me because
I can't If I can't banter with you if I can't
talk to you if I can't If I can't like joke with
you if we can't smile like Then it's a it's gonna
be a no like I don't care. So I guess that's
my biggest thing for four -way connection would
be I need to be able to have a conversation with
you and it not like totally Won't make me want
to blow my brains out See, I prefer not to have
a conversation with you. That's just my introvert.
Yeah. So, yeah, I feel like I feel like we've
been fairly successful in the work, you know,
the four way connection. Yeah. And usually, like
if I mean, we have not that we have similar personalities,
but like we like similar things you and I and
we tend to gravitate towards similar. Types of
people. Yeah, so I don't think it's like when
you're not really interested in somebody there's
usually me I'm like I'm not really that interested
in that person either or their partner or whatever
it is and a lot of it has to do with That now
we have had situations where you know one person
as far as like looks can be completely a no for
me and someone might be a yes for you, but I
usually don't even get into the personality type
at that point because I'm like I do need some
sort of attraction But not like I'm not like
looking for like, you know Checking all my you
know, you have to be over six foot You have to
you know what I mean? Like I don't have like
yeah preferences, but it's not like yeah exactly
like And you have to be you know this you know
nationality or you have to be that you know,
that's I definitely don't have those kind of
Feel like I've done a decent job of pre -screening
a lot of couples because we get hit up a lot
on on the apps and I might be attracted to the
woman But I see the guy and it's like I can tell
like I don't sometimes your type just blows me
away But for the most part I can tell there's
someone like there's no way Yeah, and I don't
even like bring it up to you. Yeah, I don't even
like try to push that yeah And if there's somebody
on like the edge, I always be like, come to a
party. Yeah. And then maybe a personality will
will grab. Yeah. And that's the other thing.
It's like not all of it. I mean, because I don't
really have a type like a guy who I'm like, oh,
that is my type. You know, you have a type, but
it's I've never really had a full type, but I
please. Who's my type? What's my type? Jack Reacher.
Oh, well. He's everybody's type. Come on. He
might be my type. He's your type. But like, I
mean, there's just I mean, there's people out
there who are just gorgeous, right? Like, there's
just good looking people. And then you just hope
they have a good personality to go with it. Otherwise,
it's like a total that's a no. But in general,
I don't really have a type. So if you can, if
you have a good personality, you can. a lot of
times sway me if I've been like, if I'm like,
oh, you know, you know, they're, oh, they're
okay, you know, whatever, but then you can sway
me for sure. I'm like, by the end of the night,
I'm like, oh, I would not have expected that.
Yeah. Because I mean, I do I am grab, I do gravitate
towards like, people who are funny or outgoing
or that's why you're with me or like you know
just i don't know good personalities so if i
can have a good time then that kind of can translate
to the bedroom in my mind um and then you know
it's all i don't know so i guess four -way connections
i know a lot of people put a lot of emphasis
on that i hear people like we've been doing this
for years and we've never had a four -way i'm
like Wow. Yeah. That sounds like a really hard
couple to please. Yeah. So I mean, some people's
standards might be higher as far as like they
have a ton of boxes they want checked. And I
mean, more power to you. It's just not how I've
gone into this as far as like, again, I'm not
looking for my forever. I'm looking for like
a good time right now. And that can come in a
lot of different boxes. Seems to be a lot of
pressure. for the couples that have those really
strict standards. And like you said, more power
to you. You do whatever you need to do. But yeah,
I mean, if that's what you want to do, that's
what you want to do. I've just heard so many
stories of people. They're always like, you know,
we got out of the L .S. because, you know, we've
been doing this for two, three years and we can
never meet anybody. I'm just like, maybe just
lose that pressure off. Yeah, take the pressure
off, loosen up. And and I would say I would say
it might be a lot of pressure to like start just
getting to know people, you know, like don't
necessarily go into I know we've always you know,
one of our like one of your sayings was we're
here for more for the hang than the bang and
that's obviously shifted as well too because
we've become much more active in that way, but
The hang is still very much the hang is still
very important and we still do a lot of things
that don't end up in a bang and I think that
people who I guess it just depends on how why
you came into this. If you came into the L .S.
to have more fun with your partner, to try new
things, to experience new people, then maybe
loosen up your your boundaries and just start
to get to know people and then see where it goes
from there. If you came into this just because
you want to like fuck people who you find hot,
then you're then do that, but you're probably
gonna have a harder time finding four people
that you find, that all four people find each
other equally as hot, you know? So that kind
of lends itself to this part of the conversation,
taking one for the team. You hear that term all
the time. Yeah. How do you feel about that? I
don't think anybody should take one for the team.
See, I feel different. Yeah. In a sense of...
Not not that I expect you to well good cuz I'm
not But for me it's you don't expressed you don't
express Like interest in a guy a lot Yeah, like
you like I like these people whatever happens
happens, but there's I don't think anytime where
you just been like wow this guy Yeah, oh my god
So if we are in that situation where you're like,
oh my god, and I'm looking and I'm not really
personally into the wife Or the girlfriend or
whatever. I would probably quote -unquote take
one for the team. Mm -hmm like I would Because
it's still gonna be fun, right? Like it's it's
not it's not like miserable. I mean, she's not
I assume she's not a ghoul But I mean like if
if even if she didn't check off enough boxes,
whatever I would probably still try to you know,
put some effort into making it work, just because,
like I said, you very rarely get excited about
that. Yeah. So if you did, I would be like, all
right, well, let me see what I can do. Yeah.
Well, you need to call Reacher. But I think his
wife's pretty hot, too, right? Yeah, I'm probably
not her type, so. So let me call Reacher. I mean,
as far as I, from what I understand, he's a pretty
heavy Christians, so I don't, I don't. There's
lots of Christians in the US. There are, there
are, but it might be a uphill battle, but let
me, I'll have my people call his people. So I
think, so we talked about that, change of dynamics,
four -way connections, taking one for the team.
So I guess another, another thing you can figure
out as you're getting into this is. If you are
more of a date person Or if you enjoy meeting
people more at a party or an event Yeah, we've
tried both and we found that we are definitely
much more of an event slash party because I think
you go on a date and a there could be a level
of expectations and I'm okay with going on dates
that with people that we know. Yeah, but not
necessarily to meet somebody I think the problem
is there's with dating for us for me is like
with going on dates with people we don't know
one we've had issues where people have like for
us to go out it we have things we have to put
into place for us to be able to leave our house
or whatever so we've done all that planning right
and then the balls the person on the other side
has something come up whether it's real or not,
you know, oh, our sitter is whatever or this
is whatever or whatever. We can't make it out
or oh, you know, we need we had this, but we're
in traffic or whatever the case may be. We have
the few times we have set up dates and very few
times, but a handful of times that's happened.
Right. So then it's kind of like, OK, now we
have to pivot. And then you're wondering. Did
they really have something that happened? Or
did they chicken out? Or are they uninterested?
And that's just like, it just is kind of annoying
and stressful a little bit. And it just takes
the fun out of it. Yeah. And then also you have
the level of expectation, like if it's not fully
set out, like how the day is going to end. Then
it's like you're constantly kind of wondering
like, okay Are they plant like are we planning
on ending this like somewhere is it gonna are
we gonna get a hotel? Are we gonna like what's
the thing here? And then not only that it's like
then you get on the date and it's like well,
okay I was maybe intending on getting a hotel
at first, but now that I'm on this date I don't
like them like I thought I would and I'm not
having the best time and I'd really like to leave
or i don't feel comfortable with something or
whatever the case may be and i'm trying not to
be rude you are literally hitting like all these
bullet points here i'm gonna go back and i'll
hit those points i'm like and then i'm trying
not to be rude so then it's like how do you like
back out of something you've kind of committed
to So I have an easy excuse for that that's why
I don't love just like one -on -one again if
it's friends, I'm fine with that because One
I already know who they are to we can set the
expectations and just let them know like hey
This is our intention, but maybe it you know,
if doesn't happen for whatever reason doesn't
happen You know, like you guys just have to either
go with it or don't go with it go out with us
or don't go out with us But I mean our friends
very much know how we are. We're very much like
go with a flow type people so i think they already
know that so then there's not that expectation
but just dating there could be and then the other
thing is um it's i don't know it's just a lot
of pressure so i i think that having people come
to parties is the best way because then you meet
them in a social setting still you still have
the option to go play if you guys want to you
still if it's not working out and there's no
connection there then it's a lot easier and to
move on from that because there's a ton of other
people there so it's kind of like yes And usually
when one person or one couple isn't feeling it,
the other couple is feeling the same way and
they're thinking the same thing. So at a party,
it's kind of like you could just naturally split
off from each other and not make it awkward.
It literally and weird in five minutes. Yeah.
And there's other people and it doesn't have
to be weird because it's like, oh, well, oh,
we just started talking to someone. So we got
caught up in this and that, you know, so it's
not like awkward. Yeah, I don't know. That's
why I like. And if and if I plan to go to a party
and they decide they don't want to go to that
party I'm still at that party and I'm still with
other people there who I'm you know can meet
or Hang out with if I already know them so to
Go back a little bit. So if you're entering into
the LS One of the biggest things I can say to
you is don't waste people's time Yeah, that's
kind of go back with what you were saying, you
know things happen, but Just don't go into a
situation where you're canceling last minute
or don't. If you can help. If you can help it
or and no expectations, but don't give expectations.
Or don't spring things on people like last minute
that should have probably been discussed way
ahead of time. Like if you have a certain specific
dynamic, don't lead people on to think that.
You're in it for whatever they're in it for and
then realize well fuck. I really am not in it
for that I probably should have told them this
is our dynamic and I did it and now it's the
day of and now I'm having to now I'm chickening
out basically are getting cold feet because I've
essentially been fraudulent in the conversation,
you know or Omitted things that are important.
Maybe that they you know should know and now
it's like, okay. Well now They everybody has
to rearrange their plans And going back to what
you were talking about as you know, if you get
on the date and within 30 minutes You realize
you're not they're not your cup of tea Don't
be afraid to end the date. Yeah, because I mean
do you know awkward though? Who cares? The only
thing in my mind that you owe the other couple
is respect. Yeah, you don't owe them your time
You don't owe them anything other than that.
So you're sitting down 30 minutes in you're like
not my people Go, be like, explain to them, like,
listen, we had a great time meeting you guys,
but we're gonna go ahead and call it a night.
And that's it. I'll be like, it's done. Just
be respectful, be nice about it. Or you could
just run out of the bathroom and run out the
bathroom. Go out the window. You know, worst
case scenario, best case scenario, however you
want to frame it, you could just continue. Bless
you. Oh, boogers. That was no boogers. There's
boogers everywhere. Best or worst case scenario,
you just continue your date night with your wife
or partner. Continue, I mean, you already got
a sitter, you already, whatever the case is,
just continue the night. It's just honesty. You
don't have to be honest to the point where you're
like, you guys are ugly, or you have a shitty
personality. You don't have to do that. Just,
you can be nice. You can be blunt. You can just
be nice, you know, be okay. It's not our vibe
baby and then we've we've never been in that
situation that I can recall No, because we don't
really date we when we first started we kind
of were Like we set up a few things. We tried
it whatever But that was mainly because when
we did that we didn't really We weren't really
have as involved in the community that we are
now and we didn't really have a lot of options
to us Well, we yeah, we will first of all. Yeah,
we weren't like now there's we know of all the
parties and we can yeah we can do like hey like
we've The gig I have coming up the 14th. I've
had some couples reach out, you know Week ago
or whatever and they're like, hey, we should
hang out. I'm like sure come hang out with us
at November 14th And it's like I'm not gonna
agree to just go on some date. We've learned
our lessons Yeah, and it's kind of like yeah
come to our show We'll hang out and then we vibe
then we can go from there, right? It's so much
easier doing that And it really is. And we've
met so many people that way. Like we've brought
a lot of people kind of I don't want to say into
our circle, but like we've definitely made a
lot more friends and like met some really great
couples who have come out to meet and greets.
We've been out or parties we've been to. And
then we're like, oh, like genuinely. And now
we would go out with them by themselves or whatever,
like just the four of us or whatever. But it
definitely I. I do think it takes pressure off.
But that being said, we've had some couples that
were like, hey, we should come hang out. And
I'm like, come to the party. And we meet them
at the party. And I'm like, I'm glad we didn't
go on a date with these people because there
just wasn't anything there. There wasn't like
the personalities didn't click, whatever the
case is. And we're like, whew, dodge that bullet.
So our method has worked out. But that being
said, there's some people that live in these
smaller towns and they don't have the parties
and dating is kind of their option. But one thing
I will say, what's the name of that movie where
he's talking about the baseball stadium and he's
like, if you build it, they will come. If you
don't have events in your area, make the events.
Grab a bar. that you know is a fun bar a chill
bar a dive bar and put out a hot date or a rendezvous
or set up a meet -and -greet and just advertise
it and put on event and just Spit it out to everybody
in your area four or five people might come Next
time seven eight people might come. That's true.
And just instead of sitting around saying there's
nothing to do be the one that do it That was
really bad English. Be the one that do it. Be
the face in your community, if not everybody
has that personality. Sometimes you just have
to build it so they will come all over your tits.
Like that? You're laughing, your boobies are
bouncing. So I think that's kind of the wrap
that side of it. You know, if you can do dates,
you can do groups. Just don't waste people's
time. Try not to set up expectations. And if
it's not working out in the date piece out. Yeah.
One thing I was going to say, too, is if on the
opposite side of it, if the couple you set the
date up with ends it or whatever or doesn't show
up, I would. I want to just say, like, don't
take it personally. Because more likely than
not, it was something in their relationship that
caused them to cancel or leave or whatever. Like
something between them said it most likely isn't
you, you know, don't take it. Like I think a
lot of people put like a lot of emphasis on like,
oh, what did I do or was me? They didn't like
me or they think I'm ugly or, you know, whatever.
I would just caution against that like negative
self -talk because more likely than not or if
they don't give you an explanation then you're
like, you know people I've heard of people like
really dwelling on it It's like I would just
move on like don't it was unlikely to be you,
you know It's something in them or their relationship
or whatever is going on with them personally
or their lives or personalized We all have personal
lives. We don't talk about them that frequently.
So you don't know you know yeah so just move
on gracefully and I wouldn't give it another
thought and the infamous words of frozen let
it go let it go let it go something something
something yeah I would also okay let's relax
on that I'm probably gonna get sued by Disney
now I don't think the words are something something
something so you're probably good yeah Did you
have anything else on that topic that you wanted
to I was gonna say something and then you've
rudely interrupted me with a great song You were
just talking about yeah, are you not them or
it's probably not you I can't remember it could
just be your ugly face Circle back. I'm not sure.
Oh, I was gonna say but also if you because we
also see this all the time on like Facebook groups
Well, I'm not really on it anymore But when you
like when I was people like there's nothing going
on and they live in Southern, California So we
know there's a shit ton going on. Yeah, so at
the same time like also Put a little effort into
looking into something if you really want to
go out and do something like Get on to sites
that are in your area. There are so many free,
you know, if you don't want to join a Facebook
group, I get that. But join. I mean, I don't
know. You just can't sit in your room and be
like, there's nothing to do. And it's like, well,
is Google broken? Yeah. Have you tried? Yeah.
Have you gone on like apps? Have you gone on?
That shit annoys me because I try to help people.
Yeah. I'm like a one step guy. I'll be like.
There's nothing to do. I'm like, are you on Cassidy?
No, what's that? Well, it's a, it's a, it's a
like a swinging date insight slash event party
site. Check it out. Cassidy .com. That's where
it should end. And they'd be like, well, what
do I know? Yeah. Nope. Go, go to the website.
Yeah. Go take the next step. Yeah. Like I'll,
I'll try. What's the, they even have free options.
I'll take you to water, but I can't make you
drink. Yeah. You can teach someone to fit around.
There's so many dumb things. So yeah, just just
look into all the options. Like you said, in
Southern California, there's so much to do. I
mean, I'm saying in Southern, but you said, you
know, there's some people out in the middle of
nowhere. And who knows? I mean, we have friends
who live in frickin Lavonia and there's plenty
of stuff to do out there. Yes. And you would
think that was in BFE. Yes. I mean, literally
go on and Google and you just you could type
in Southern California. Podcasts out of like
Georgia and like what I mean, they're finding
shit to do there There it might be sheep, but
they're fine Actually, that's more of a Kansas
thing I think anyways Okay, so so all that Now
I guess the next step is so say you're you're
on one of those dates or say you're at a party
It's best to develop a way to Let your partner
though, let your partner know that you're interested
in this couple. Like how do you do that? Like
do you, is there a nudge? Do you say like, do
you want two cherries with your drink? No, that's
silly to me. It is a little bit, but I mean.
Because I get the, I get the, I get the safe
word to get out of something that you don't want
to be in. I do not understand that. So is that
a thing? Yes, but you got to understand. I'm
not speaking from our point of view, like right
now, you and I are somewhere and someone walks
in, I go, ooh, look at that, I want that. That
was not us when we started. That is not people
that are getting started. It's very awkward to
tell your partner that you're interested in somebody,
even though you're both going out with that intent.
So you're saying not in front of those people,
you're saying just quietly to each other? Like
a way of being, expressing interest, because
it can be like intimidating to tell your wife
that, hey, I'm checking her out, even though
that's what you're there for, it's still very
rough. It's taken me till very recently to be
able to like express my interest to you and them.
Like now I'm like, I've gotten pretty comfortable
with it. but I think like how can you there's
like there's another podcast that we listen to
or that I listen to and they have a really really
quick they're experienced but they have a very
quick thing if a couple walks in and they both
look at them and they're like they're like fuckable
or not it's very quick like fuckable or not and
if he goes yep she goes yep that that lets them
know okay there's an interest there to pursue
if one of them says no Then they take it right
off the table. I'm not saying it has to be that
forward, but I think it's it's it's a Figure
out a way to like express interest in in like
another cup. Oh, no. I think you just say it
I think you just because you're saying it's still
by saying fuckable or not. That's the same thing.
No that that's an advanced That's advanced. So
you say you won't eat the cherry or not. I mean,
it's just weird. Just talk to each other. If
you know what it means, then it's the same. The
cherry thing was just a small example. Oh my
god, I'm going to suffocate you in your sleep,
woman. That I don't get. But hey, if you need
a code word, I guess make a code word. I'm not
saying there needs to be a code word. Maybe just
some way of like a nudge and a nudge nudge. I
would have bruises. You would literally be just
nudging me all day. I would just be bruised up
one side of my body. All right. So let me cross
this off my list really aggressively. Get off
your list. I'm going to Sharpie across my phone.
Weirdest thing in my brain. I swear to God, I
don't want to beat you. All right. So if we don't
return for another podcast, you know why. I don't
know. I just think if you're in it, like if you're
in this. You just got to figure it out and I
don't think a code word is going to help because
if everybody like knows What it means then you
just need to say it Like there there was there's
some some things i've heard where like if you're
on a date Like one of the people will go to the
bathroom and send a text and then that person
will check the text It's just examples Find what
works for you ultimately, but maybe have that
in mind because if you go to this if you go on
a date and you're both like if you're on a date
it's like two v two and you walk in and you're
sitting down and you're having what feels like
good conversation but you're like i don't know
how my wife feels maybe some way of relaying
like it should we try to take this to the next
step whether it's a sidebar you walk away and
you have a sidebar or a code word where like
I was trying to think there was another one where
if so -and -so ordered a diet Pepsi, you know
that's a no -go. There was one. There was one.
There was one podcast I remember hearing about.
This one's kind of dumb. They're all dumb. She
would like take the ketchup bottle and face the
label away from her. OMG. That was like her way
of saying no, okay I guess if you're on a date
with somebody this would be the same scenario
a party would be much this would be the same
scenario as what I'm saying like a code word
if you're in an awkward situation or you're in
a situation you want to get out of That makes
sense to me. Yeah, but not being able to tell
your spouse or your significant other or your
whatever person that you're interested in somebody,
that's a weird thing that you brought up. That
doesn't make sense to me. But the fact of like,
oh, yeah, if you're on a date and you're like,
it's a no, like you're like a fuck no. And you're
but you're still pleasant person. So it's probably
hard for people to tell you it's like a fuck
no for you. Then I get that like, or if or if
you're in a play situation, obviously you're
not turning a ketchup bottle, but. If you're
in a place... Why do you have a ketchup bottle
just in your purse? You're like in the middle
like, I don't want to do this anymore. You're
reaching in your purse, you bring out ketchup.
You're using that for Louvre. If the high ends
57, it's... If the high ends 57, we're 69. Oh
Lord. Tabascos. What does Tabasco sauce mean,
anal? So I get it. Like I get that part of it.
Like, OK, if we're on a date and if you are a
dating couple and you're on a date, I get like
having a way to say no. Yeah. No. Or let's take
let's figure out a way to take this to the next
step. I mean, that I think would just happen
naturally. Right. Because that's what you're
there for. I think no, I think that would be
I think you would have something that says no.
Otherwise, I would assume like I think every
all parties should assume that we're moving it
the other way. Expectations. No, no, no. I mean,
like your party, like you and your like if you
go, if we went on a date with somebody and we
were like we had all of our things set up and
you and I discussed before the date, like, hey,
this. If this goes well, like let's do this,
this, this and this, you know, we have that conversation
before the date. Now we're on the date and I'm
like, fuck this. No, it's a no for me. Yes, I
get having some sort of like code or symbol or
texting each other or whatever to say like, OK,
if I do this, that means it's a no. Otherwise,
I would assume everybody's just planning going
on the date like we all plan to go on the date.
So that should be. You're so naive. Normal. We
don't need like a yes or no button, like. Oh,
that would actually like the staples. No, the
that or like those that that little thing you
roll that magic eight ball. Not highly unlikely.
All right. So I think I think we got your opinion
and it's wrong, but it's very much right. So.
So how how do you this is? Well, they know it's
weird. She has to always sit next to the ketchup.
Well, yeah, what if she's on the outside of the
table? Does she have to grab the ketchup from
the other table? Sir, can I see your ketchup,
please? Or what if there's no ketchup on the
table? Steak sauce. Then they have to ask for
ketchup, which she's not going to use, only to
turn it towards herself. What if she's sitting
there and the waiter, like you order like fish
and the waiter's like, clearly you don't need
ketchup. And he takes the whole ketchup thing
away. And then you have to fuck these people
now. Because you can't turn the ketchup towards
you. He's like balls deep in the other way. He's
like, you didn't see ketchup. You didn't move
the ketchup. See, there it lies. That's why you
have to... These are silly. You just have to
communicate. Without the ketchup. I can't, I'm
crying, I can't see my list. So anyways, how
do you like to be hit on? Direct, non -direct.
And you endo like, what's your preference? Because
we have some people that are extremely direct
with you. And then we have some people that are
like, you wouldn't even know that they liked
you unless you already fucked them. You know
what I mean? I think you know who the two people
are I'm talking about. Two? Two. The extremes.
So what's your preference? Oh, the two extremes?
Yes. Oh, yeah. What does this have to do with
coming new into the lifestyle? Are you just getting
intel or does somebody ask you to ask me this
question? No, this is not a setup. No, it's a
very relevant question because you're Getting
your new you're not you're not gonna be used
to hitting on people and you also need to figure
out Learn like relearn how to hit on people.
That's a real so I'm just saying for you. What's
your preference? How how do you like to be hit
on it depends on how interested I am in the person.
Mm -hmm. So that's a hard question to ask I do
think that it's definitely in a pain in my ass.
Yeah, I do think it's definitely It's definitely
different obviously flirting after you've been
married for so long with other people so I can
see how that question might be relevant and maybe
a little bit of a different way like how do you
do that and I think that's also where the parties
kind of lend itself to being easier to do that
in because there's a lot more like It's a lot
more lively. I mean, I don't know I don't know
what people are doing on these dates, but I don't
know like crazy kids They're good with their
diners and their ketchup, but you hipsters. I
don't know how you hit on somebody across the
table from them or like I Don't know I just that's
why I like that's kind of Well, maybe you need
to figure out the answer to this question cuz
yeah, I don't I don't know that. I mean, I know
how I know. I can't even tell you how I like
to be hit on, because again, it depends on the
person. Yeah. If I'm super interested in you,
then I. Yeah, I want to be hit on, but if I am
not interested, then it can be awkward if somebody
is super fucking aggressive. Yeah. But if I am
interested in you, I also want to know you're
interested in me. So if you're too quiet or you
don't say anything or. You don't even let me
know you're interested then I will lose interest
because I'm like I'm not chasing anybody like
I'm not here to chase people, you know, like
I This is not I'm not like again. I'm not looking
for my forever So I'm not like really gonna put
too much effort into this you're looking for
your right now But if you're right now is not
right now then yeah if my exactly if my right
now is not here and right now Then it's like
okay. I'll move on to something else, you know,
like it's kind of like find another shiny toy.
Yeah, exactly so I think I would say if you're
interested in somebody then show interest and
show interest in a way that's organic to you
if you're not a super forward person don't be
super forward because it's gonna be really fucking
awkward probably for everybody involved but I
would say like some of the guys that are shy
that hit on me have been some of the cutest little
like cute like cute see things that are said
you know or things that I've I've actually sometimes
taken it more like like oh that was really sweet
actually because it It was it seemed more genuine
because it's not like oh my god You're so hot
and not to say that those guys aren't genuine
too. I'm sure they are they just That's how they
are. That's their personalities. Yeah, so Both
ways I like it's just that you definitely have
to show interest if you're I mean flirting is
flirting like Actually flirt to flirt if you're
just there if you're just existing or if we're
talking about your car insurance or your you
know, or your Whatever. It's like that doesn't
you know, that's not Flirting so you do have
to be a little bit it might be you do have to
be a little like complementary and like yeah,
that was touching That was one touching but not
inappropriately obviously but like I mean touching
in a comfortable way for everybody involved,
you know, like brushing an arm or whatever. I
mean, obviously everything should be done with
consent. But one of the things like I always
like find if I like, do you mind if I put my
my hand on your back? Yeah. And if they're OK
with that, that's that's pretty big. Like they're
comfortable with that. Then I take that as in
they're they're into you to some level. At least
some level. Yeah for me. I prefer fairly direct
because yeah My introvertness struggles with
that And I do best when I when all the chips
are on the table I'm like, okay. I see the big
picture here I can take I can take the next step.
I can make the next move If I understand like
you're there for it. Yeah, then i'm good with
taking control but it's it's tough for people
that don't let me know. Like there's some people,
some couples that we've hung out with a few times
and I think there's something maybe, but like
I would like there be something, but I don't
get enough. So it hasn't progressed at all. And
it probably will never, because we're both kind
of at a standstill. And it kind of reminds me
of Lacey, Swing Nation. One of the things that
she talks about is she's very introverted as
well, but she's the opposite. If she's into somebody
she gets super quiet shy and avoids that person
So that's the complete opposite of what I need.
Yeah, so remember at the end of last episode
We're like, I don't think I'm her type Yeah,
that's that's where the the struggle if if we
ever got into that situation where we met I had
already told you I would be your great wingman
I know but I'm just saying that right there with
her type is where I struggle Yeah, like if I
don't get anything from you, then I'm just gonna
assume and I'm I'm going hands off and I'll I'll
eventually give up Yeah, it's just but You know,
we've had if we have a couple of friends that
like you have full Consent you have open consent.
Yeah, like to you. Yeah And it works out well
So that being said, finally you say wingman,
wingman. It's like I can read it from here. And
you have been a fairly good wingman for me. And
I feel like I've been a pretty decent wingman
for you. There's been a couple of situations
where we were at a bar. Do you remember this
one in Whispers in Vegas? And we are standing
at the bar and you are Google the eye over the
bartender. And you're like, he's cute. And you
were just like, just. Like I said, googly eye.
And I don't remember. And I went over to the
bar and I'm like, hey, buddy, my wife would love
to make out with you. But he was married and
his wife wasn't there, right? No, his girlfriend
and she was there. Oh, she wasn't lifestyle,
though. She was like, oh, yeah, they weren't
lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah. And it was something.
Yeah. And she was kind of giving you some side
eye a little bit later in the night. But I'm
like, hey, we asked. We didn't do anything. We
just simply asked. And at that type of party.
You get those questions, right? So if you're
a hot bartender, you're gonna be propositioned
like it or not Yeah, also, let's not bring bartenders
to bars to parties that aren't in the lifestyle.
I'm just kidding But then there's been some situations
where we were at a bar or a party and a couple
walks in and I say to you like them but typically
I Will probably not be the first one to talk
to a strange couple. Yeah that I'm interested
in people I'm not interested in right away. I'm
like, it's easy. Because there's no rejection
fear there. Yeah, because I'm like, I'm not hitting
on you. I'm just Hey, welcome to the group. Welcome
to the party. Yeah. But if there's someone there,
and I've, I'm okay with rejection. I've done,
I've dealt with enough of in my life. But it's
never really bothered me. Because especially
The lifestyle just because of this same thing
you were saying. I'm not looking my for my forever.
Mm -hmm I'm not looking to date you I just you
know want to stick my finger in your butt, you
know, whatever And if you don't want to be on
your list is how to handle rejection on your
list No, cuz I really don't know how that should
be on your list. It could be because that's a
lot of with new within Being new in this it's
like you are gonna come across rejection. Yes
Well, I kind of talked about it a little bit,
but just don't take it personal Yeah, literally
just because you're not that person's cup of
tea doesn't mean there's a million other people
out there who you are their cup of tea There's
a whole website dedicated to that. Yeah, plenty
of fish. You ever heard of it? There are plenty
of fish in the sea Trust me. Yes So but yeah
anyway the wingman thing there's been quite a
few since Situations where you've hooked me up
and introduced us to a couple and then not too
long ago We had two couples that walked in and
I was like them and them and then like 15 minutes
later You're like I see you talking to one and
then 15 minutes later. You're talking the other
you're like see I'm talking you up. I'm looking
you up and and one of them we've Friends with
the other one not yet getting there getting there
baby steps See, so I think that's gonna wrap
this episode up because the next step is gonna
be events Different types of event of events
what to bring what to wear what to bring in your
beer beer go bag Yeah, and I that right there
is under gonna be a whole part three Because
there's a whole whole nother fucking list right
here. See that list Yeah, so you can add to the
list as we're talking, but I think that's gonna
be it for episode number do Is there anything
else you want to cap this bad boy with before
we call it? How long have we been on? An hour.
Okay. Because we didn't talk about the meet -and
-greet we went to at the Cove. What do you want
to talk about there? You met some listeners.
Oh yeah, that's right. Yes, we did. You became
real friendly with the listeners. So we were
at a meet -and -greet. And all of a sudden, one
of our friends brings over this young lady to
me and he's like, hey, here's a listener, introduce
you. So I took a liking to her. You were sober
because I came late came from another like I
came from a bunko thing like a vanilla bunko
thing I ubered there. Yeah, and then the plan
was you were gonna meet me there afterwards and
then just drive home So yeah, you were sober.
I was sober. I was staying sober. I had the gym
in the morning or something I don't know. Yeah
But yes, which is very odd and you you went and
got drunk real quick Yes, you had those my ties
going down quick Was I think I was double fist
in my ties it was it was that was day one of
my birthday celebration Yeah, it was like well,
it's a couple days early, but it was still kind
of Wrapped up in that event a bit my birthday
So, yeah Yeah, because Sam and Cole kind of were
like, oh, we'll do a little thing for your birthday
because they weren't going to be able to make
it out to Athena's. They brought me over a girl.
They did. So apparently she or they are listeners.
I'm not sure to what extent, but we haven't had
a haven't had a chance to talk because we haven't
seen them since that party. No, I think we invited
him out to something else or you invited him
or whatever. Yeah, but. They don't live exactly
in the area. Yeah, they're they're a little bit
away a little bit away So it's it's kind of a
trek for them to get out, but I'm sure we'll
see them again probably another meeting great
but yeah, we Had a good time. I had a good time
Might have went a little overboard for a vanilla
setting for a vanilla setting. Well wasn't a
vanilla setting but it was a vanilla bar vanilla
bar much for public and I've determined I don't
like having you sober because you're like You're
sober Yeah, and you can tell me all the foolish
things I did. Yeah, exactly If I was drunk, I
probably would have been running around doing
all the other things like just doing other things
and talking to other people but because I was
sober I was just there and I was talking to one
of my friends and You were just straight in my
eyesight and I'm just like this guy is gonna
get kicked out of this bar And we come here often
we cannot be physically removed from here Yes,
so you had a good time. We had a great time that
you can remember I remember no, I remember you
remember I remember all the things I don't the
thing that doesn't track is the amount of time
of that we were Hanging out Like in my head,
I remember all the things and had a great time
But apparently it lasted for a lot longer than
what I what's in my brain timer. Yeah, so So
yeah, I'm not gonna put on a show Apparently
I put on a show, whoever the security was, I'm
sure they have some great footage. But yeah,
I had a really good time. We'll be back there
again in probably December. Until December, yeah,
because we're alternating your gig with the ones
at the Cove. Yes. What gig are you talking about?
Your gig on the 14th of November. Coming up in
just a couple of weeks. Yeah. Oh, the theme for
that. Is Hawaiian? No, it's end of summer, Halloween,
end of summer, luau, Hawaiian fest. The summer
was over like months ago. Yeah. It's still hot
as fuck here though. It is hot as fuck here still.
There's still pool parties happening. So the
plan is the whole band, we're going to be dressed
up in Hawaiian and we're going to be giving out
lays. To our attendees that are part of the say
less bowling league. We're gonna give you guys
lays when you come in So you'll be able to recognize
who's part of you know our party the bowling
league the bowling league Say less bowling league
where we use all three holes exactly. I'm gonna
get a shirt do it So yeah, so that's gonna be
a great time here coming up soon. So stay tuned
for episode number three coming soon, soon, soon.
If you guys can please do us a favor. Go on to
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will help do so. I'm tired. Back to you. I'm
tired. It's time to go to bed, babe. I'm like
just looking at you kind of blank now. I'm like,
I got no more in me. I am done. When enjoying
the sweet side of life keep your pineapples upside
down believe in unicorns and keep shaking it
up. Love you, babe Thank you for listening to
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