WEBVTT

00:00:05.929 --> 00:00:08.230
The podcast you're about to listen to is for

00:00:08.230 --> 00:00:11.509
adults only. Anyone under 18, please turn on

00:00:11.509 --> 00:00:14.210
Kidz Bop right now. Any opinions or advice that

00:00:14.210 --> 00:00:16.469
we give on this show should not be taken too

00:00:16.469 --> 00:00:18.890
seriously as we are not professionals at all.

00:00:19.309 --> 00:00:21.710
With that being said, make yourself a drink and

00:00:21.710 --> 00:00:24.550
join us on our journey as a married couple enjoying

00:00:24.550 --> 00:00:27.149
the lifestyle in beautiful Southern California.

00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:58.619
Welcome back everybody to the latest and the

00:00:58.619 --> 00:01:01.200
greatest episode of the Sweet Side of Life podcast

00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:07.200
all the way from Southern California. I wanted

00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:10.180
to come out high energy. Is that what your high

00:01:10.180 --> 00:01:14.640
energy looks like? Yes, kind of scary. Now there's

00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:16.040
this other podcast I listen to. I hate to see

00:01:16.040 --> 00:01:19.140
your low energy. You've seen it. There's another

00:01:19.140 --> 00:01:22.280
podcast I listened to called, I think it's called

00:01:22.280 --> 00:01:27.640
the Vanilla Swingers. Actually an oxymoron, right?

00:01:28.099 --> 00:01:30.400
I'm pretty sure give me one second unless they're

00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:34.159
boring swingers They don't sound very boring

00:01:34.159 --> 00:01:39.799
Yeah, vanilla swingers so they alright so I've

00:01:39.799 --> 00:01:41.900
never seen them but they sound like they're hot.

00:01:42.180 --> 00:01:46.819
Yeah. Yeah We sound like I don't know but we

00:01:46.819 --> 00:01:49.579
have our photos out there so People can make

00:01:49.579 --> 00:01:52.140
their own decision whether we're hot or not.

00:01:52.140 --> 00:01:55.579
These people don't tell me There used to be a

00:01:55.579 --> 00:01:58.799
website HotOrNot .com and you could post like

00:01:58.799 --> 00:02:00.659
whatever you wanted. I used to have my penis

00:02:00.659 --> 00:02:02.719
picture on HotOrNot. Did you? Yeah, for the longest

00:02:02.719 --> 00:02:05.060
time. It's probably still up there. Probably.

00:02:06.439 --> 00:02:09.900
I think I had a fairly highly rated penis at

00:02:09.900 --> 00:02:13.099
one point in time. It's still highly rated. I

00:02:13.099 --> 00:02:16.400
know a few people who rate it highly. I know

00:02:16.400 --> 00:02:18.340
one person that still has it saved on their phone

00:02:18.340 --> 00:02:22.319
from 27 ,000 years ago. But that isn't either

00:02:22.319 --> 00:02:28.740
here or there. No, vanilla swingers, I'm trying

00:02:28.740 --> 00:02:31.159
my hardest not to say um. Yeah, you called me

00:02:31.159 --> 00:02:32.400
out. I'm like, I don't think I'm the one that

00:02:32.400 --> 00:02:35.340
says it. I think I have ADD, because I get distracted

00:02:35.340 --> 00:02:37.620
very easily. And my way of coping with that is

00:02:37.620 --> 00:02:40.379
um. Yeah. You listen to our podcast, and you're

00:02:40.379 --> 00:02:42.819
like, I say um a lot. Well, you said we, but

00:02:42.819 --> 00:02:44.680
I think you meant you. It's you, too. I mean,

00:02:44.680 --> 00:02:47.500
it's definitely me. It's definitely me. But you

00:02:47.500 --> 00:02:52.090
don't help. You're right there with me. But um,

00:02:54.949 --> 00:02:58.710
but anyways, vanilla swingers, they are extremely

00:02:58.710 --> 00:03:02.669
high energy. Ah, I don't know if that's just

00:03:02.669 --> 00:03:05.009
well, they probably do their podcast at like

00:03:05.009 --> 00:03:09.270
10am. No, they they actually maybe no, they're

00:03:09.270 --> 00:03:12.189
very similar to us. They actually they go outside

00:03:12.189 --> 00:03:15.530
and they do it in their car. That's weird. Yeah.

00:03:16.380 --> 00:03:18.759
But they have to it's just they have kids and

00:03:18.759 --> 00:03:20.900
stuff so they have to figure out a way to do

00:03:20.900 --> 00:03:22.259
it. What do their kids think they're doing sitting

00:03:22.259 --> 00:03:24.939
in their fucking car? I don't know. For an hour.

00:03:25.240 --> 00:03:28.419
I don't know. That's just straight. But anyways,

00:03:28.740 --> 00:03:30.780
they're they're very I think that's weirder than

00:03:30.780 --> 00:03:34.280
your kids like I don't know knowing what you're

00:03:34.280 --> 00:03:38.939
doing or something. They've said weekly mom and

00:03:38.939 --> 00:03:41.460
dad just go sit in the car. They've said and

00:03:41.460 --> 00:03:44.889
they actually record weekly so it's a lot. They

00:03:44.889 --> 00:03:49.189
um, they go they have a nice car Right. They

00:03:49.189 --> 00:03:51.150
I mean that the recordings sound good. So they

00:03:51.150 --> 00:03:54.229
have legit equipment in their car I don't know

00:03:54.229 --> 00:03:56.469
what it is, but I have a car just for recording.

00:03:56.469 --> 00:03:58.909
It doesn't go anywhere But it's gotten to the

00:03:58.909 --> 00:04:01.909
point where they're all they'll like sneak out

00:04:01.909 --> 00:04:04.900
the recording equipment like before They used

00:04:04.900 --> 00:04:07.580
to be, what are you guys doing? But now they

00:04:07.580 --> 00:04:10.199
like sneak it out like hours prior to the recording.

00:04:10.919 --> 00:04:13.939
But anyways, I'm blowing up their spot. They

00:04:13.939 --> 00:04:17.220
come off very energetic. Like, ba -ba -ba -ba

00:04:17.220 --> 00:04:18.579
-ba -ba -ba -ba. I don't know if it's the editing.

00:04:18.740 --> 00:04:22.500
I don't know if they slow down during like, if

00:04:22.500 --> 00:04:24.879
they do a lot of editing. We don't edit. Yeah.

00:04:25.139 --> 00:04:28.819
Or maybe they speed it up. Can you speed up your...

00:04:28.779 --> 00:04:32.220
Can you speed up your recording? Like, I know,

00:04:32.600 --> 00:04:34.720
like listening to it, I can like go like one

00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:38.060
and a half times. You can record. I don't, I

00:04:38.060 --> 00:04:43.000
don't, I think they, I don't know if they edit,

00:04:43.180 --> 00:04:45.439
they edit very good because you can't really

00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:52.379
tell edit points. Um, but I think, I, I, I don't

00:04:52.379 --> 00:04:54.199
know. I think they're just really good at staying

00:04:54.199 --> 00:04:56.500
on. No, I can't say staying on topic because

00:04:56.500 --> 00:05:00.279
they're really bad about that. Um, staying high

00:05:00.279 --> 00:05:04.699
energy. Yes. She is all over the place, but in

00:05:04.699 --> 00:05:06.699
a good way. Like it's, it's very listenable.

00:05:06.759 --> 00:05:09.000
Some, some people are just, I can't even like

00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:12.100
listen. Yeah. They're very, they're just all

00:05:12.100 --> 00:05:13.959
over the place, but they're very high energy,

00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:16.860
but they're actually one of the ones that was

00:05:16.860 --> 00:05:20.800
talking up, um, naughty and nolens very much.

00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:23.610
So the last one. And they were one of the ones

00:05:23.610 --> 00:05:26.209
that were very much talking up staying at the

00:05:26.209 --> 00:05:30.569
main hotel, right? Which our big announcement

00:05:30.569 --> 00:05:35.970
is we are officially Official officially official

00:05:35.970 --> 00:05:39.930
we had bought the tickets a couple weeks back,

00:05:39.930 --> 00:05:44.730
but now The hotel links came out and we are officially

00:05:44.730 --> 00:05:48.089
officially staying at the Aster. Yes through

00:05:48.089 --> 00:05:51.990
the entire Naughty and Nolens event So that's

00:05:51.990 --> 00:05:53.750
gonna be a great time all the way in July of

00:05:53.750 --> 00:05:57.230
2026. I'm actually excited for that I don't typically

00:05:57.230 --> 00:06:00.089
get excited for shit that far ahead. Yeah. Well,

00:06:00.089 --> 00:06:05.110
you've been excited for this for many years so

00:06:05.110 --> 00:06:10.250
now price -wise How did this compare to the 311

00:06:10.250 --> 00:06:13.790
crews that we we've normally do is it? Is it

00:06:13.790 --> 00:06:18.589
rate kind of neck -and -neck similar? I think

00:06:18.589 --> 00:06:23.519
the The hotel because we're staying six nights

00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:26.519
Something like that six because we're they were

00:06:26.519 --> 00:06:29.740
there before Yeah, it actually starts and then

00:06:29.740 --> 00:06:31.740
it starts on like a Wednesday, right? Yeah Wednesday,

00:06:31.800 --> 00:06:34.720
and then we're going out on Monday Yeah, so yeah,

00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:36.680
I think it's like six nights that were there.

00:06:37.920 --> 00:06:40.379
I Mean you said that was like a thousand something

00:06:40.379 --> 00:06:44.779
which isn't bad It was like 209 a night and then

00:06:44.779 --> 00:06:48.139
for the four primary days of the event Yeah,

00:06:48.139 --> 00:06:52.379
so that's not bad. And then I booked our airfare

00:06:52.379 --> 00:06:55.339
and we're actually going to extend it. So, yeah,

00:06:55.439 --> 00:06:57.060
I think we're extending it. We're going to go

00:06:57.060 --> 00:07:00.480
to Nashville for something non LS, but we may.

00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:02.300
I don't know, we might find ourselves in some

00:07:02.300 --> 00:07:04.540
LS stuff while we're there. We always find ourselves

00:07:04.540 --> 00:07:07.199
in situations we least expected. But we wanted

00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:08.899
to go to Nashville. And when I looked it up,

00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:10.639
I was like, oh, it's basically like from here

00:07:10.639 --> 00:07:13.759
to Vegas as far as flights go. It's like an hour

00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:16.199
and something flight. So I was like, well, let's

00:07:16.199 --> 00:07:17.800
just while we're out there, since we've always

00:07:17.800 --> 00:07:19.240
wanted to go to Nashville, we're going to be

00:07:19.240 --> 00:07:23.920
on that side of the states. Let's do. You know

00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:26.480
naughty in New Orleans will do that whole thing

00:07:26.480 --> 00:07:29.079
and then fly out on Sunday and do Nashville for

00:07:29.079 --> 00:07:31.759
a few days I think even with the Nashville trip,

00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:34.459
it's probably pretty similar maybe even cheaper

00:07:34.459 --> 00:07:37.699
because I mean Yeah, we extend it even longer

00:07:37.699 --> 00:07:40.860
when we go to Florida. So It is true. It'll probably

00:07:40.860 --> 00:07:44.560
be actually more cost -effective Cheaper version,

00:07:44.560 --> 00:07:46.600
but I mean we'll see once we get there. I mean

00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:48.199
spending all the money once you're on the cruise

00:07:48.199 --> 00:07:51.600
That's it, right? Like you pay for nothing packages

00:07:51.600 --> 00:07:53.639
Yeah, once you've bought your drink package and

00:07:53.639 --> 00:07:56.040
you've your foods all paid for and all that stuff

00:07:56.040 --> 00:07:58.600
So and I will definitely have we know what happens

00:07:58.600 --> 00:08:00.699
when we're drinking at a resort Yeah, we spend

00:08:00.699 --> 00:08:03.740
way too much money on drinking. So I'm hoping

00:08:03.740 --> 00:08:07.019
the booze are cheap in New Orleans. I'm Well,

00:08:07.019 --> 00:08:09.639
the good thing about New Orleans is you can you

00:08:09.639 --> 00:08:11.860
can take your drinks out of bars and you can

00:08:11.860 --> 00:08:13.800
take them into other bars from what I understand.

00:08:14.139 --> 00:08:16.220
Yeah. It's very much kind of like Vegas. Yeah.

00:08:16.759 --> 00:08:21.519
And I know a lot of, um, I keep saying, um, it's

00:08:21.519 --> 00:08:23.259
just, just ignore it because you just keep pointing

00:08:23.259 --> 00:08:25.560
it out and now you're making it worse. It's there.

00:08:25.879 --> 00:08:29.680
It's in my brain, but we, we are definitely going

00:08:29.680 --> 00:08:32.980
to stock our bar in our room. Right. When we

00:08:32.980 --> 00:08:35.000
get there, go somewhere into a store or something.

00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:37.399
Yeah, for sure. And then, you know, try to do

00:08:37.399 --> 00:08:40.639
our best to, cause we drink like fish and sailors.

00:08:40.759 --> 00:08:44.389
Yeah. So we'll have to see. I think our drinking

00:08:44.389 --> 00:08:46.129
bill will be probably... Although it's going

00:08:46.129 --> 00:08:50.649
to be hot as hell. It is. So I don't know. I

00:08:50.649 --> 00:08:53.850
don't do so well drinking that much in that heat,

00:08:53.870 --> 00:08:55.990
so I might not drink. I try to balance it with

00:08:55.990 --> 00:08:58.549
water because I don't want to die. Lies. I don't

00:08:58.549 --> 00:09:01.389
want to die. Well, we don't want you to die either,

00:09:01.389 --> 00:09:04.309
but you're lying to us right now. So before we

00:09:04.309 --> 00:09:07.110
go and talk about drinking. Oh, yeah. So tonight

00:09:07.110 --> 00:09:09.850
we are drinking drink. We're drinking drinks.

00:09:10.730 --> 00:09:14.250
So I was telling you earlier. Cheers. Cheers

00:09:14.250 --> 00:09:18.409
really quick that we have We have gotten kind

00:09:18.409 --> 00:09:21.830
of lame with our drinks You were lame. You're

00:09:21.830 --> 00:09:24.570
lame. You're lame. I think this is my first repeat

00:09:24.570 --> 00:09:27.830
So maybe when we first started we were trying

00:09:27.830 --> 00:09:31.110
a lot of new stuff We've got like but we've tried

00:09:31.110 --> 00:09:34.909
so much shit running out of things to do And

00:09:34.909 --> 00:09:37.110
all of them repeat themselves. They just put

00:09:37.110 --> 00:09:39.490
a slap a different name on it. It's literally

00:09:39.490 --> 00:09:42.049
the same drink and it's like want to lick a pussy

00:09:42.049 --> 00:09:43.789
and then it's like want to suck a dick and it's

00:09:43.789 --> 00:09:47.549
the same fucking drink. Yeah. So tonight I'm

00:09:47.549 --> 00:09:51.409
going back to one of my favorites. I've had this

00:09:51.409 --> 00:09:55.389
one once maybe twice on the podcast. It is a

00:09:55.389 --> 00:10:00.870
rum runner, which is a the way I make it is a

00:10:00.870 --> 00:10:03.860
white rum. a dark rum and actually for the dark

00:10:03.860 --> 00:10:06.159
rum I used like a Barbados rum tonight that was

00:10:06.159 --> 00:10:09.519
a gift from one of our friends and then blackberry

00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:14.799
liqueur and banana liqueur pineapple juice OJ

00:10:14.799 --> 00:10:18.580
and grenadine so all the liquors in the mixers

00:10:18.580 --> 00:10:21.659
are I do one ounce pour of each so it's four

00:10:21.659 --> 00:10:24.360
ounces of liquor in this particular version of

00:10:24.360 --> 00:10:28.320
this drink with a splash of grenadine it's fucking

00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:31.809
delicious This is my second one tonight. No,

00:10:31.850 --> 00:10:35.509
third one tonight. Yeah, you lied. So I just

00:10:35.509 --> 00:10:38.009
counted, because we were keeping track of it

00:10:38.009 --> 00:10:43.490
so we didn't repeat. But I personally have put

00:10:43.490 --> 00:10:46.690
on the podcast 41 different types of drinks.

00:10:47.169 --> 00:10:51.289
Oh, fancy. So that's why we're running out. And

00:10:51.289 --> 00:10:54.330
most of the time, we don't drink the same drink.

00:10:54.730 --> 00:10:58.710
So I would say between the two of us, Minimum

00:10:58.710 --> 00:11:01.330
60, but I would say more than that because nine

00:11:01.330 --> 00:11:03.870
times out of ten we drink something different

00:11:03.870 --> 00:11:06.889
because we have different palates as far as what

00:11:06.889 --> 00:11:12.590
we find Delicious. Yeah, so I'm having a vodka

00:11:12.590 --> 00:11:16.970
soda I'm having my lemon Eddie's vodka and my

00:11:16.970 --> 00:11:22.250
Waterloo soda water Lemon line I went with lemon

00:11:22.250 --> 00:11:25.289
lime lemon line find yourself enjoying Waterloo

00:11:25.289 --> 00:11:28.820
more than LaCoury. Yes Do you find yourself enjoying

00:11:28.820 --> 00:11:33.399
Waterloo more than? Buble. Buble? Buble and Waterloo

00:11:33.399 --> 00:11:36.379
are very similar, but Waterloo you can get in

00:11:36.379 --> 00:11:42.059
a case at Costco. So it's more economical. Gotcha.

00:11:42.340 --> 00:11:45.559
But if Buble is on sale, I'll buy Buble. I like

00:11:45.559 --> 00:11:49.039
them both. You are not committed to a brand.

00:11:49.379 --> 00:11:54.759
No, but right now it's Waterloo. So the, oh yeah,

00:11:54.980 --> 00:11:58.850
Naughty. Really looking forward to it. I've basically

00:11:58.850 --> 00:12:01.870
heard from everybody that this is the ultimate

00:12:01.870 --> 00:12:05.370
Swingers event, right? You know here you hear

00:12:05.370 --> 00:12:09.690
about all the resorts the heatos and desire rms

00:12:09.690 --> 00:12:13.629
and the pearl and Of course all the stuff in

00:12:13.629 --> 00:12:19.590
Florida secrets Excuse me, but I've heard that

00:12:19.590 --> 00:12:23.110
naughty Well, there's definitely I don't even

00:12:23.110 --> 00:12:25.080
think you can come It's weird to compare the

00:12:25.080 --> 00:12:27.779
two to me in my brain or compare those in my

00:12:27.779 --> 00:12:29.580
brain and I say too, because I think of them

00:12:29.580 --> 00:12:31.519
as different things. Like when you just brought

00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:35.580
up like RM and secrets and those are resorts.

00:12:35.639 --> 00:12:39.500
That's different. This is an event. So from my

00:12:39.500 --> 00:12:41.299
understanding, and obviously this will be our

00:12:41.299 --> 00:12:45.699
first year going, but my understanding is There's

00:12:45.699 --> 00:12:49.820
workshops and there's yeah parties and there's

00:12:49.820 --> 00:12:52.360
you know Obviously like people come in from all

00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:55.639
over the world and it's like it's like a convention

00:12:55.639 --> 00:13:00.519
more than a Resort, so I don't even think of

00:13:00.519 --> 00:13:02.659
I'm not even my brain isn't going like oh, it's

00:13:02.659 --> 00:13:05.379
this it's this like I'm thinking more like a

00:13:05.379 --> 00:13:08.419
swinger convention Yeah, it's kind of what what

00:13:08.419 --> 00:13:10.399
I'm thinking. This is gonna be like ultimately

00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:13.460
what it is It's gonna be the the largest gathering

00:13:13.460 --> 00:13:16.279
of swingers, right? Yeah, you go to resorts,

00:13:16.279 --> 00:13:18.700
you're going to have 300 people, 200 people.

00:13:19.419 --> 00:13:20.960
At Naughty, I think there's... Even a thousand,

00:13:21.059 --> 00:13:24.299
but... I think at Naughty has 1 .5 million...

00:13:24.299 --> 00:13:29.120
People? Couples. 1 .5 million? I'm just joking.

00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:31.500
I'm like, that doesn't even make sense. Your

00:13:31.500 --> 00:13:34.019
math is not math -ing. My math is... I'm not

00:13:34.019 --> 00:13:38.440
very good at math. No, you're not. Like, New

00:13:38.440 --> 00:13:41.600
Orleans would be bursting at the seams. There'd

00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:45.710
be a lot of pee in the streets. It's, I don't

00:13:45.710 --> 00:13:50.750
know the exact number. Clearly. That was evident.

00:13:51.789 --> 00:13:55.850
It's gonna be 644 % more than last year, like

00:13:55.850 --> 00:13:58.629
whatever that means. It's other advertising.

00:13:59.710 --> 00:14:05.330
It's 644, not 645. Exactly. It's a very precise

00:14:05.330 --> 00:14:10.450
number. Ultimately we're really looking forward

00:14:10.450 --> 00:14:14.870
to it. I'm personally... Like you said, there's

00:14:14.870 --> 00:14:19.230
there's classes and stuff. I'm not really into

00:14:19.230 --> 00:14:22.710
that Class. Oh, you're gonna go. Oh, you're dragging

00:14:22.710 --> 00:14:24.889
my ass all the way in New Orleans in the middle

00:14:24.889 --> 00:14:28.110
of the goddamn swamp -ass summer You are going

00:14:28.110 --> 00:14:31.509
to a fucking class. I'm going to the beach foam

00:14:31.509 --> 00:14:33.789
party You're gonna go to the you're gonna go

00:14:33.789 --> 00:14:36.490
to the give me a massage Tantric class is what

00:14:36.490 --> 00:14:38.649
you're gonna go to as long as it doesn't interfere

00:14:38.649 --> 00:14:42.500
with my beach Beach foam party at the beach They

00:14:42.500 --> 00:14:44.740
have beach foam parties. That's one of the biggest

00:14:44.740 --> 00:14:46.679
thing they do. Where's the beach? It's hosted

00:14:46.679 --> 00:14:49.720
by swing nation. Where's the beach? It's a theme.

00:14:49.960 --> 00:14:52.779
It's not literally a fucking beach. Yeah, clearly.

00:14:53.019 --> 00:14:57.960
It's a theme. Anyway, so speaking of swing nation,

00:14:58.019 --> 00:15:01.200
we actually booked through them as an affiliate.

00:15:02.700 --> 00:15:05.460
So if I recall correctly, I think we get like

00:15:05.460 --> 00:15:09.320
a grab bag and like a personal invite into her

00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:14.740
pussy or something. Jesus Christ. That's what

00:15:14.740 --> 00:15:17.240
the paid contract said. I don't know. I just,

00:15:17.500 --> 00:15:20.320
I quickly sign it. No, basically all these other

00:15:20.320 --> 00:15:22.879
podcasts and content careers, they have like

00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:25.039
affiliates and stuff. And if you book through

00:15:25.039 --> 00:15:29.840
them, the price is the same to us, but it like

00:15:29.840 --> 00:15:34.840
helps them out. And sometimes the bigger... Content

00:15:34.840 --> 00:15:37.340
creators or the podcast they have like kind of

00:15:37.340 --> 00:15:40.179
a private little meeting greet or you get an

00:15:40.179 --> 00:15:43.720
extra party here extra party there So in this

00:15:43.720 --> 00:15:46.360
case, I felt it was appropriate to book through

00:15:46.360 --> 00:15:48.000
swing nation because they're one of my favorite

00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:51.480
podcasts I've listened to them since day one

00:15:51.480 --> 00:15:55.360
speaking of swing nation They just recently their

00:15:55.360 --> 00:15:58.480
last Thursday episode. Oh, yeah, in case you

00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:01.039
guys didn't know the Tuesday talk episode the

00:16:01.039 --> 00:16:04.100
Tuesday talk their jingle the jingle Yeah, that's

00:16:04.100 --> 00:16:06.879
me. That's you. That's me They were talking about

00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:08.700
replacing me a while back. But guess what? You

00:16:08.700 --> 00:16:11.440
never got replaced never got replaced They have

00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:15.879
like a new Theme song. It's a slightly. It's

00:16:15.879 --> 00:16:18.539
a variation of their normal song. They've updated

00:16:18.539 --> 00:16:26.039
it, but I still made the cut for the So yeah,

00:16:26.100 --> 00:16:29.059
that's still me ladies and gentlemen and um playing

00:16:29.059 --> 00:16:33.000
all the instruments, you know it But Thursday

00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:35.960
this past Thursday, so it would have been the

00:16:35.960 --> 00:16:40.500
week of the 10th or whatever They had a very

00:16:40.500 --> 00:16:44.100
good episode it didn't really apply to me so

00:16:44.100 --> 00:16:46.500
much because I personally personally don't have

00:16:46.500 --> 00:16:49.220
any of these hang -ups but basically they had

00:16:49.220 --> 00:16:54.059
a former pastor on the episode was about how

00:16:54.059 --> 00:16:58.539
do you approach the lifestyle how do you like

00:16:58.539 --> 00:17:01.820
deal with it with the religious aspect behind

00:17:01.820 --> 00:17:05.119
it and it was really he was really funny and

00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:07.079
it really opened my eyes to a couple different

00:17:07.079 --> 00:17:10.920
things and and I suggest if you if you struggle

00:17:10.920 --> 00:17:13.059
if you're a Christian or if you're religious

00:17:13.059 --> 00:17:16.339
or you have any type of like hang ups within

00:17:16.339 --> 00:17:19.119
the lifestyle listen to this because it's is

00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:21.750
very eye -opening, and it might make you feel

00:17:21.750 --> 00:17:25.430
better about things. Like he pretty much said,

00:17:25.509 --> 00:17:28.430
Jesus said suck all the dicks. That's what he

00:17:28.430 --> 00:17:32.630
said at the end, so. Did he? He did. You heard

00:17:32.630 --> 00:17:35.930
it here, folks. Jesus said, suck all the dicks.

00:17:37.670 --> 00:17:39.269
So it was a very good episode. Check it out.

00:17:39.349 --> 00:17:42.049
It's where we nationed our last episode. Anyways,

00:17:42.650 --> 00:17:46.529
I think I've touched, oh, shit. Yes, we do actually

00:17:46.529 --> 00:17:49.269
have a topic for tonight. But I always like to

00:17:49.269 --> 00:17:51.170
recap what we're doing coming up. You're like

00:17:51.170 --> 00:17:52.390
wrapping it up. You're like, all right, guys,

00:17:52.609 --> 00:17:54.750
thanks. I'm like, you literally had a whole notepad

00:17:54.750 --> 00:17:56.210
worth of stuff you wanted to talk about. I got

00:17:56.210 --> 00:17:58.950
a whole fucking notepad. So a couple of different

00:17:58.950 --> 00:18:06.269
things. One, next Friday, the 17th, is another

00:18:06.269 --> 00:18:10.849
Say Less meeting greet in Murrieta at the Cove.

00:18:11.930 --> 00:18:14.470
So you can find it on Cassidy. or you can text

00:18:14.470 --> 00:18:18.349
us at our super sexy text line, Sweetums. You

00:18:18.349 --> 00:18:24.230
can find us there. And also, Athena's on October

00:18:24.230 --> 00:18:30.410
25th in Fontana. It's their very special Halloween

00:18:30.410 --> 00:18:33.309
party. And we're going to be celebrating my birthday

00:18:33.309 --> 00:18:36.029
there. My birthday. My birthday. And we're also

00:18:36.029 --> 00:18:39.269
going to be celebrating Roberto from the DTF

00:18:39.269 --> 00:18:43.250
Lust Party's birthday there. And sweet and sour.

00:18:43.529 --> 00:18:46.190
Sweet and sours birthdays celebrating there.

00:18:46.190 --> 00:18:50.230
I decided he was sweet. He was sweet. Yeah She's

00:18:50.230 --> 00:18:56.309
got the sass So Sweet from sweet and sour mister.

00:18:56.349 --> 00:19:01.930
I can't say mr. Sweet Yeah, so there's gonna

00:19:01.930 --> 00:19:04.890
be a lot of birthdays there guys and So yeah

00:19:04.890 --> 00:19:08.529
again, that's Athena's and Fontana on October

00:19:08.529 --> 00:19:11.390
25th Saturday. It's gonna be a big night a lot

00:19:11.390 --> 00:19:14.160
of birthdays A lot of sexy times. If you want

00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:17.000
more details, if you're not on Cassidy, you can

00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:19.420
text us on our Sweetums line and I can give you

00:19:19.420 --> 00:19:21.880
more deets. Otherwise, we'll see you there. And

00:19:21.880 --> 00:19:24.240
of course, we are gonna be at the plush New Year's

00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:28.279
Eve party. Yes. In San Diego over New Year's

00:19:28.279 --> 00:19:31.000
Eve. La Joya. That's coming up. We're gonna be,

00:19:31.140 --> 00:19:33.640
well, I already created a special event for that

00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:35.660
on Cassidy for all the people that are going

00:19:35.660 --> 00:19:38.200
there so we can kind of create a little bit of

00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:43.559
a group before we go there. That being said The

00:19:43.559 --> 00:19:46.619
topic for tonight actually the topic for the

00:19:46.619 --> 00:19:50.000
next probably two episodes is gonna be taking

00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:53.839
you all the way back To the beginning back back

00:19:53.839 --> 00:19:56.619
to Kelly Kelly. So you've heard about what we

00:19:56.619 --> 00:20:00.759
do on a daily basis But we're gonna go all the

00:20:00.759 --> 00:20:03.900
way back and we're gonna talk about what it's

00:20:03.900 --> 00:20:08.799
like to enter into the LS as a brand new fresh

00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:15.200
pineapple Still right side up still correct.

00:20:15.259 --> 00:20:19.619
Yes So there's a lot of things flip you around

00:20:19.619 --> 00:20:22.559
Exactly. So there's a lot of things to discuss

00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:28.279
but before we do that What's that sound Do you

00:20:28.279 --> 00:20:33.420
hear that? Yeah What's that sound it's so weird,

00:20:33.420 --> 00:20:40.599
oh no Thank you for listening to the sweet side

00:20:40.599 --> 00:20:43.049
of life podcast If you're looking to get a hold

00:20:43.049 --> 00:20:46.630
of us, you can find us at our Sweetums hotline,

00:20:46.930 --> 00:20:53.490
951 -226 -5261. You can text us there. You can

00:20:53.490 --> 00:20:55.789
call us and leave us voicemails, but most importantly,

00:20:55.809 --> 00:20:58.230
you can send us all your dirty pictures. And

00:20:58.230 --> 00:21:00.309
there's a good chance I'll hit you back. But

00:21:00.309 --> 00:21:02.430
you could also find us at the Sweet Side of Life

00:21:02.430 --> 00:21:06.690
podcast at outlook .com. You can find our TikTok

00:21:06.690 --> 00:21:09.990
at Sweet Side of Life podcast. And if you're

00:21:09.990 --> 00:21:13.579
on X, Also known as Twitter you can find us at

00:21:13.579 --> 00:21:22.240
the sweet side pod. Thank you so much I hope

00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:25.220
you guys enjoyed that yeah with the theatrics

00:21:25.220 --> 00:21:30.920
So babe babe look at me look at me. I'm looking

00:21:30.920 --> 00:21:34.859
at you. What why do you have a top on? Just continue

00:21:34.859 --> 00:21:38.559
because you've got it freezing in here you get

00:21:38.559 --> 00:21:41.000
one Oh, you know what? I forgot to turn off the

00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:42.819
AC, so there's probably a buzz. One tit. No,

00:21:43.119 --> 00:21:45.799
give me both tits. Well, turn off the AC because

00:21:45.799 --> 00:21:47.660
it's fucking cold in here. I will turn off the

00:21:47.660 --> 00:21:50.380
AC right now if you take your tits out. I will

00:21:50.380 --> 00:21:52.880
take my tits out if you turn off the AC. Take

00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:55.579
your tits out and I will turn off the AC. Okay,

00:21:55.579 --> 00:22:00.799
get one tit. Okay. I'm gonna rip my shirt. Alright,

00:22:01.119 --> 00:22:03.380
AC off. Alright. Just take them both out from

00:22:03.380 --> 00:22:07.420
the tub. No. There you go. Yes, there you go.

00:22:08.660 --> 00:22:10.480
You're gonna just gonna hold it like that the

00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:18.240
entire episode that's just not weird at all So

00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:22.220
you're entering into the LS you've had the discussions

00:22:22.220 --> 00:22:27.099
What discussions? Like you've talked to your

00:22:27.099 --> 00:22:31.000
SO about hey Do you want to try this? Do you

00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:34.400
want to go out? That's how you talk to people.

00:22:34.700 --> 00:22:38.859
Yeah. Okay Yeah, I'm assuming if you're listening

00:22:38.859 --> 00:22:42.420
to this podcast That if you're brand new that

00:22:42.420 --> 00:22:44.599
you're at least to the point where you've had

00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:48.180
some type of discussion If you have assume anything

00:22:48.180 --> 00:22:51.220
because you want to know what assuming does what

00:22:51.220 --> 00:22:54.259
makes an ass out of you and me? Yes. All right,

00:22:54.359 --> 00:22:57.880
so If you do you want to go even further back

00:22:57.880 --> 00:23:01.319
then that? Or do you want this is your podcast,

00:23:01.460 --> 00:23:03.910
babe? Well, you're like contradicting me here.

00:23:03.990 --> 00:23:05.490
Like you're like, maybe we should. Do you want

00:23:05.490 --> 00:23:07.029
me to go all the way? No, I think we've kind

00:23:07.029 --> 00:23:08.609
of discussed how to kind of talk about how to

00:23:08.609 --> 00:23:11.130
bring it up. All right. So what's the biggest

00:23:11.130 --> 00:23:13.869
thing when you're entering in? You've had that

00:23:13.869 --> 00:23:16.829
conversation and you're like, all right, let's

00:23:16.829 --> 00:23:18.829
let's try this out. What's the first thing that

00:23:18.829 --> 00:23:23.609
you think of? I don't know. What is this jeopardy?

00:23:23.769 --> 00:23:27.130
It's called a conversation, baby. We just got

00:23:27.130 --> 00:23:29.650
over that. We just said the conversation already

00:23:29.650 --> 00:23:32.480
happened. No, this is no conversation between

00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:36.819
you and me. OK. Oh, my God. Apparently, you didn't

00:23:36.819 --> 00:23:40.039
get my laminated sheet I sent you. No, you could

00:23:40.039 --> 00:23:44.200
have shared your. Is this on the thing? No, it's

00:23:44.200 --> 00:23:46.079
not. Yeah. See, you could have shared your notepad

00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:47.799
with me. So I would I don't want you to fuck

00:23:47.799 --> 00:23:50.900
up my notes. All right. So the first thing, in

00:23:50.900 --> 00:23:54.160
my opinion, you can tell me differently because.

00:23:54.440 --> 00:23:57.700
I will if you're wrong, so just spit it out.

00:23:58.380 --> 00:24:02.200
I think the first thing you want to do is make

00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:05.440
boundaries. Yes. I don't like to use the word

00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:10.740
rules because boundaries eventually will be stretched,

00:24:11.519 --> 00:24:14.299
will be altered, will be pushed, and I don't

00:24:14.299 --> 00:24:17.990
like the term broke rules. Right. Because I think

00:24:17.990 --> 00:24:20.750
when you when you say you broke a rule there's

00:24:20.750 --> 00:24:23.289
punishment there's punishment. It's automatically

00:24:23.289 --> 00:24:26.970
negative So I think when you're approaching something

00:24:26.970 --> 00:24:30.650
like this Like you both agreed to do something.

00:24:30.650 --> 00:24:33.609
That's different. You've agreed to do something.

00:24:33.890 --> 00:24:38.170
That's you know a little risque Outside the norm

00:24:38.170 --> 00:24:41.609
outside the norm I think make boundaries. So

00:24:41.609 --> 00:24:44.390
what are some of the boundaries that you can

00:24:44.390 --> 00:24:48.230
think of? She's drinking You caught me. You have

00:24:48.230 --> 00:24:50.250
to tell me when you're going to ask me questions.

00:24:50.269 --> 00:24:52.170
We're having a conversation. I didn't know I

00:24:52.170 --> 00:24:53.589
was going to be... This was supposed to be a

00:24:53.589 --> 00:24:57.089
very serious episode, babe. I didn't know that.

00:24:57.089 --> 00:24:59.269
Yeah. Well, maybe you shouldn't have had me drink.

00:25:00.829 --> 00:25:02.009
Okay. You can't be sober because you're born

00:25:02.009 --> 00:25:05.269
sober. Boundaries. Yes. Like that we have or

00:25:05.269 --> 00:25:07.935
just that I can think of? Let's talk about...

00:25:07.930 --> 00:25:10.690
Like a generalization of boundaries and then

00:25:10.690 --> 00:25:12.829
we could talk about some people have boundaries

00:25:12.829 --> 00:25:15.750
of no kissing. Mm -hmm. Some people have boundaries

00:25:15.750 --> 00:25:21.710
of no sex some people have boundaries yeah of

00:25:21.710 --> 00:25:25.450
Same room only some people have some people have

00:25:25.450 --> 00:25:28.009
opposite boundary. I would assume probably of

00:25:28.009 --> 00:25:30.789
they don't do anything in the same room Yeah,

00:25:30.789 --> 00:25:32.569
some people have boundaries of one person plays

00:25:32.569 --> 00:25:36.309
the other person doesn't Some people have boundaries

00:25:36.309 --> 00:25:41.279
of I don't know. I mean, I don't know everybody's

00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:44.339
boundaries. There could be a potential, but I

00:25:44.339 --> 00:25:48.240
think you hit the most common ones. I think the

00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:51.619
most common ones when you start into the lifestyle

00:25:51.619 --> 00:25:55.160
are going to be kissing and no kissing, penetration,

00:25:55.299 --> 00:25:59.839
no penetration, oral sex, protection. Oh yeah,

00:26:00.180 --> 00:26:02.400
protection. All that different type of stuff.

00:26:02.900 --> 00:26:08.720
And I think you always want to start off Me personally,

00:26:08.839 --> 00:26:12.319
some people just dive in, but I think you know

00:26:12.319 --> 00:26:14.799
yourself. If you're that type of couple where

00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:17.920
you've never had a fight over jealousy, if you've

00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:21.880
never had this or that, you don't have any known

00:26:21.880 --> 00:26:25.380
issues, maybe you jump right in and you're fast

00:26:25.380 --> 00:26:28.779
forward to the rest of this episode. However,

00:26:29.480 --> 00:26:30.019
I don't think most people - Yeah, you're probably

00:26:30.019 --> 00:26:32.059
not listening to this one because you probably

00:26:32.059 --> 00:26:34.000
already are in it. Yeah, exactly. You skipped

00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:40.180
all the podcasts. The recommended reading. I

00:26:40.180 --> 00:26:42.460
think the biggest thing is to just understand

00:26:42.460 --> 00:26:46.359
kind of where you're at going into it. And setting

00:26:46.359 --> 00:26:49.240
boundaries helps that. So when we first started,

00:26:49.480 --> 00:26:52.240
what were our boundaries? We didn't have any.

00:26:52.799 --> 00:26:58.180
I'm just kidding. Maybe you didn't. Shit. Hussy.

00:27:01.819 --> 00:27:06.660
Your face. You're all well. Pretty sure I had

00:27:06.660 --> 00:27:14.460
some, but I guess. We were same room. No penetration.

00:27:20.920 --> 00:27:27.880
Oh, group texts. Yeah, that's a big one. What

00:27:27.880 --> 00:27:30.140
else? I don't remember. I kind of feel like that

00:27:30.140 --> 00:27:34.259
was it. Yeah. Which is fairly basic we were basically

00:27:34.259 --> 00:27:36.940
there's there's soft what's called soft swap

00:27:36.940 --> 00:27:41.259
and there's full swap For most people's soft

00:27:41.259 --> 00:27:45.380
swap indicates Everything's on the table except

00:27:45.380 --> 00:27:50.559
for typically penetration penis penetration some

00:27:50.559 --> 00:27:54.579
people include like finger finger penetration

00:27:54.579 --> 00:28:01.839
also as not allowed However all of our times

00:28:01.839 --> 00:28:05.539
we've played soft swap just literally was everything

00:28:05.539 --> 00:28:10.960
except for sex. Yeah. So that's going to be fairly

00:28:10.960 --> 00:28:13.299
general. I remember when we were talking, you're

00:28:13.299 --> 00:28:14.900
talking about soft swap and full swap. We were

00:28:14.900 --> 00:28:17.039
talking with our friends in Michigan who are

00:28:17.039 --> 00:28:20.220
getting into it and their first experience with

00:28:20.220 --> 00:28:23.319
another couple, which if you've listened to that

00:28:23.319 --> 00:28:26.059
episode, it was during my birthday weekend and

00:28:26.059 --> 00:28:28.059
we didn't get lucky, but they ended up having

00:28:28.059 --> 00:28:33.519
their first experience. But we were in the car

00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:35.819
and we were kind of digesting what had happened,

00:28:35.960 --> 00:28:37.940
because I mean, I think they had had a little

00:28:37.940 --> 00:28:39.519
bit of conversations, but they didn't have a

00:28:39.519 --> 00:28:41.079
lot. But anyway, and they weren't really into

00:28:41.079 --> 00:28:43.039
like the lingo and didn't really know some of

00:28:43.039 --> 00:28:45.039
the stuff. So when we were having the conversation,

00:28:45.099 --> 00:28:47.440
we're like, oh, so you soft swapped. And they

00:28:47.440 --> 00:28:50.039
were like, she was so offended that I said, she

00:28:50.039 --> 00:28:52.160
was like, no, we did like a lot of stuff. And

00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:54.319
I was like, no, but like, it just means like,

00:28:54.420 --> 00:28:56.599
you guys didn't fuck. And she was like, oh yeah,

00:28:56.599 --> 00:28:58.640
we didn't fuck. But it was like, it was like,

00:28:58.839 --> 00:29:00.359
she was like, no, we did like a lot of stuff.

00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:02.460
And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Like it doesn't

00:29:02.460 --> 00:29:05.200
make it sound like it's like, like it was just

00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:09.160
like, like second making out. Yeah. Soft swap

00:29:09.160 --> 00:29:14.980
is not second base. However. Not everybody looks

00:29:14.980 --> 00:29:18.640
at the definitions the same so It's it is best

00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:21.160
to clarify if you're having that consent talk

00:29:21.160 --> 00:29:24.859
before you go to play, you know, which You should

00:29:24.859 --> 00:29:27.079
you should it doesn't always work out that way.

00:29:27.079 --> 00:29:30.420
But yeah Sometimes the consent talk is like mid

00:29:30.420 --> 00:29:33.099
dick and mouth. Yeah. Oh, yeah, by the way, sorry

00:29:33.099 --> 00:29:40.390
But you know in the in the The best version of

00:29:40.390 --> 00:29:41.970
everything like you're gonna sit and you're gonna

00:29:41.970 --> 00:29:44.269
talk like alright, what are we all okay with?

00:29:44.549 --> 00:29:47.369
Yeah Just clarify because what you think is soft

00:29:47.369 --> 00:29:49.410
might be slightly different than what the other

00:29:49.410 --> 00:29:51.329
person right all of a sudden You got a fucking

00:29:51.329 --> 00:29:53.809
finger jammed up your butt. You're like, whoa

00:29:53.809 --> 00:29:56.630
That's not that was not on my list. It's not

00:29:56.630 --> 00:30:00.289
on my bingo card. So Even though like what we're

00:30:00.289 --> 00:30:03.089
saying right now is not the law, you know, some

00:30:03.089 --> 00:30:05.869
people view it differently So always double check

00:30:05.869 --> 00:30:09.779
what that person or those people are thinking

00:30:09.779 --> 00:30:11.900
their definition of, because the last thing you

00:30:11.900 --> 00:30:16.640
want to do is cross someone's boundary. So our

00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:18.839
boundary when we first got into it, like you

00:30:18.839 --> 00:30:26.000
said, was soft, same group text. We weren't even

00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:27.900
group texting at that point, because when we

00:30:27.900 --> 00:30:32.519
first got into it, we weren't even thinking like

00:30:32.519 --> 00:30:35.630
friends. Yeah. We were just like, hey, let's

00:30:35.630 --> 00:30:38.710
go have some fun, see what happens. And at the

00:30:38.710 --> 00:30:40.930
end of the night, you exchanged numbers with

00:30:40.930 --> 00:30:44.250
the girl. The girl, yeah. And I think you guys

00:30:44.250 --> 00:30:46.970
had a text at one or two times later down the

00:30:46.970 --> 00:30:50.029
road, but it never turned anything. So we didn't

00:30:50.029 --> 00:30:52.849
even have that part of our boundaries set up.

00:30:53.410 --> 00:30:58.869
True. Now our boundaries, we are full swap, what's

00:30:58.869 --> 00:31:01.460
the word I wanna use? Situational. Full swap

00:31:01.460 --> 00:31:03.900
situational meaning if we want to fuck you we

00:31:03.900 --> 00:31:07.160
will We are not we are not what some people would

00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:09.940
say DTF. We don't go with the intention on just

00:31:09.940 --> 00:31:14.400
fucking the fuck We do fuck but um it there's

00:31:14.400 --> 00:31:18.019
typically There has to be a little bit more Typically,

00:31:18.019 --> 00:31:20.319
you know shit can get weird sometimes or she

00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:22.619
can get fun sometimes, you know There's no hard

00:31:22.619 --> 00:31:26.240
hardcore rule about that, but we are a full swap

00:31:26.240 --> 00:31:30.420
couple our boundaries are the same you know,

00:31:30.500 --> 00:31:34.960
right now we're same room, and group text, and

00:31:34.960 --> 00:31:38.859
you know. Protection. Protection. Is there anything

00:31:38.859 --> 00:31:44.079
else that you would consider a boundary? Not

00:31:44.079 --> 00:31:49.900
for us. Yeah, we're pretty chill, and we're definitely

00:31:49.900 --> 00:31:52.779
do the social aspect of it with friends and stuff

00:31:52.779 --> 00:31:57.200
like that. So if you're brand new into it, You

00:31:57.200 --> 00:31:59.700
might be running into this whole thing thinking,

00:31:59.700 --> 00:32:03.140
all right, wham bam, thank you ma 'am. And some

00:32:03.140 --> 00:32:04.859
people are like that. Yeah, some people are.

00:32:05.339 --> 00:32:08.480
And they stay that way their whole life. Some

00:32:08.480 --> 00:32:11.039
people are like, I can't even imagine being friends

00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:14.200
with these people. I literally, I am gonna cut

00:32:14.200 --> 00:32:17.480
you off. Cut me off. Cut you off, because yeah,

00:32:17.660 --> 00:32:20.460
anyway. I just looking at my notes, this is gonna

00:32:20.460 --> 00:32:25.380
be like a four parter. Remember because when

00:32:25.380 --> 00:32:27.119
we first started you asked me to like listen

00:32:27.119 --> 00:32:29.640
to some podcasts and stuff just to kind of get

00:32:29.640 --> 00:32:34.980
an idea of people and perspectives and Yeah,

00:32:35.680 --> 00:32:37.259
but there was another one that you had me listen

00:32:37.259 --> 00:32:41.059
to and I think they were in Florida but um, there's

00:32:41.059 --> 00:32:44.829
a couple that I listened to but The one in Florida,

00:32:44.910 --> 00:32:46.549
I remember they had, I think it was in Florida.

00:32:46.670 --> 00:32:49.450
They had like a couple like that they regularly

00:32:49.450 --> 00:32:51.970
hung out with and like their kids hung out together

00:32:51.970 --> 00:32:54.490
and like they did vanilla stuff together and

00:32:54.490 --> 00:32:56.789
then they would go do like swinging stuff together

00:32:56.789 --> 00:32:58.869
and they would party and they had this like whole

00:32:58.869 --> 00:33:01.269
relationship. And literally this was when we

00:33:01.269 --> 00:33:05.410
first got into it. I could not even picture having

00:33:05.410 --> 00:33:09.009
friends that I hung out with in that type of

00:33:09.009 --> 00:33:13.559
way or I mean. Even growing up, like I had a

00:33:13.559 --> 00:33:17.039
very small like circle of friends that I hung

00:33:17.039 --> 00:33:20.440
out with and I did not socialize with a shit

00:33:20.440 --> 00:33:23.059
ton of people. Like I wasn't a social butterfly.

00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:28.420
I was very much like I have my one friend and

00:33:28.420 --> 00:33:31.700
that is who I hang out with. And it doesn't really

00:33:31.700 --> 00:33:37.339
get bigger than that. I mean, your band expanded

00:33:37.339 --> 00:33:40.049
my social circle, but that's about. it, you know

00:33:40.049 --> 00:33:42.809
what I mean? Like it was very small. So for me

00:33:42.809 --> 00:33:45.730
to think about where I was there and like now,

00:33:45.769 --> 00:33:49.549
it's so weird. So I guess my point in saying

00:33:49.549 --> 00:33:51.930
this is I think people probably listen to us

00:33:51.930 --> 00:33:54.250
and are like, that's wild that they have like,

00:33:54.309 --> 00:33:57.430
you know, so many friends that they go do all

00:33:57.430 --> 00:34:01.890
these things with and whatever. And I mean, and

00:34:01.890 --> 00:34:04.109
like we have nicknames for people and, you know,

00:34:04.130 --> 00:34:06.150
all this, like all these people that we regularly

00:34:06.150 --> 00:34:09.250
hang out with. And we do regular stuff with to

00:34:09.250 --> 00:34:12.989
like football games and all that stuff that it's

00:34:12.989 --> 00:34:15.389
so like people are probably listening like the

00:34:15.389 --> 00:34:17.210
same way I was listening, like that's fucking

00:34:17.210 --> 00:34:21.389
wild. But really, like this is a big thing. I've

00:34:21.389 --> 00:34:23.469
gotten out of it is like it's expanded my social

00:34:23.469 --> 00:34:27.869
circle. Yeah. And just me socially 100000 percent

00:34:27.869 --> 00:34:29.789
like I never would have thought I had this many

00:34:29.789 --> 00:34:31.710
couple friends. And when we go out and we tell

00:34:31.710 --> 00:34:34.010
like like I tell somebody, oh, yeah, I'm going

00:34:34.010 --> 00:34:36.489
out this weekend like they just are like They

00:34:36.489 --> 00:34:39.530
can't people who know me now can't even like

00:34:39.530 --> 00:34:42.210
my true vanilla friends, like the few that I

00:34:42.210 --> 00:34:47.289
have, like can't imagine how many. If I tell

00:34:47.289 --> 00:34:49.070
them, like, oh, yeah, I wasn't popular in school

00:34:49.070 --> 00:34:50.789
or whatever, like you're wild. That's insane.

00:34:50.849 --> 00:34:52.710
There's no way. And I was like, I really wasn't.

00:34:52.710 --> 00:34:55.210
And then it's like because you have so many friends

00:34:55.210 --> 00:34:57.090
now and you're out every weekend and you're doing

00:34:57.090 --> 00:34:58.670
all these things. And I'm like, it's your boobs.

00:34:58.829 --> 00:35:05.750
I want to be I want to be like, well. If you

00:35:05.750 --> 00:35:09.550
only knew why I have so many friends I'll go

00:35:09.550 --> 00:35:11.110
to work and be like, what'd you do this weekend?

00:35:11.110 --> 00:35:15.710
I'm like, well Kind of uneventful and then I'm

00:35:15.710 --> 00:35:19.849
like an orgy But I can't I'm not gonna be like,

00:35:19.989 --> 00:35:22.630
oh, yeah. Yeah, it's just funny because same

00:35:22.630 --> 00:35:24.869
way I didn't really have friends growing up just

00:35:24.869 --> 00:35:29.769
my bandmates and and yeah nowadays I Shit ton

00:35:29.769 --> 00:35:31.949
of friends. I know if you would have like if

00:35:31.949 --> 00:35:34.130
my younger self would have like looked at me

00:35:34.130 --> 00:35:38.130
now. I'm been like like Yeah, my older self could

00:35:38.130 --> 00:35:39.670
tell my younger so I don't know like however

00:35:39.670 --> 00:35:41.610
that were self would give me a fucking high five,

00:35:41.610 --> 00:35:44.489
right? And I would tell my younger self dude.

00:35:44.550 --> 00:35:47.949
It gets better Hang in there. I know life sucks

00:35:47.949 --> 00:35:50.349
right now, but guess what? Yeah, so if you I

00:35:50.349 --> 00:35:52.369
guess my point in saying this is if you want

00:35:52.369 --> 00:35:56.000
a social circle and you want More of a social

00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:57.559
life and that's part of the reason why you're

00:35:57.559 --> 00:35:59.480
getting into it to like this is a good way for

00:35:59.480 --> 00:36:01.619
that to I think for that I mean not that we went

00:36:01.619 --> 00:36:03.920
into it with that intent because it didn't even

00:36:03.920 --> 00:36:06.360
cross my mind until I started listening I wasn't

00:36:06.360 --> 00:36:09.519
looking for friends. Yeah, I wasn't opposed to

00:36:09.519 --> 00:36:11.420
it. Yeah, I wasn't looking for friends Yeah,

00:36:11.480 --> 00:36:13.579
I didn't even think it was an option to just

00:36:13.579 --> 00:36:15.199
have I mean I didn't think it was an option I

00:36:15.199 --> 00:36:17.320
didn't think people you know, I really kind of

00:36:17.320 --> 00:36:19.380
go went into this thinking it was gonna be like

00:36:19.980 --> 00:36:22.239
Kind of a wham bam. Thank you ma 'am type of

00:36:22.239 --> 00:36:25.199
situation and glory hole here glory hole there

00:36:25.199 --> 00:36:28.679
just fun sexual experiences with you That included

00:36:28.679 --> 00:36:30.920
other people and I didn't really think like oh

00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:32.880
wow i'm actually gonna like really like some

00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:35.239
of these people and have fun hanging out with

00:36:35.239 --> 00:36:38.039
them and The good part about these friends is

00:36:38.039 --> 00:36:40.659
that you don't have to be weird about things

00:36:40.659 --> 00:36:44.820
like it's very open and It can be like everybody

00:36:44.820 --> 00:36:48.119
says you can be your authentic self. Yeah like

00:36:48.119 --> 00:36:51.480
right now I don't I don't really have any vanilla

00:36:51.480 --> 00:36:55.119
friends, and we don't really have any vanilla

00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:58.760
couple friends that we hang out with. I have

00:36:58.760 --> 00:37:01.559
friends. You have friends, but we don't have

00:37:01.559 --> 00:37:05.409
like... We don't have any like vanilla couple

00:37:05.409 --> 00:37:07.369
friends that we don't have dinner with right?

00:37:07.429 --> 00:37:09.570
It would just be painful night now the conversation,

00:37:09.650 --> 00:37:11.969
right? Because you can't talk about facts. I'm

00:37:11.969 --> 00:37:15.110
like blowjobs. I'm like, hey Can I grab your

00:37:15.110 --> 00:37:17.170
tits really? No, you can't do that. You can't

00:37:17.170 --> 00:37:19.769
do that with vanilla friends Some of the vanilla

00:37:19.769 --> 00:37:23.610
couple friends we've had we've changed them Converted

00:37:23.610 --> 00:37:27.929
them so Basically what it what it is is right

00:37:27.929 --> 00:37:30.650
now if you're on the outside looking in it might

00:37:30.650 --> 00:37:35.369
seem really weird but just be open to new things.

00:37:35.670 --> 00:37:38.530
You're already going into the whole thing, being

00:37:38.530 --> 00:37:41.849
open to new things. Let that continue in all

00:37:41.849 --> 00:37:44.429
aspects of it. And that leads to whenever you

00:37:44.429 --> 00:37:46.630
go to events and you see people, and we've talked

00:37:46.630 --> 00:37:50.030
about this before, but clicky things. And I want

00:37:50.030 --> 00:37:56.210
to say that I don't ever try to be clicky. I'm

00:37:56.210 --> 00:37:58.869
always open to meeting new people and we try

00:37:58.869 --> 00:38:02.170
to... meet new people. But I mean, we can't help

00:38:02.170 --> 00:38:04.590
it if we know people, you know, places that we

00:38:04.590 --> 00:38:07.030
go. And if you're new, I can see how that could

00:38:07.030 --> 00:38:11.309
I guarantee you clicky. We have been called clicky.

00:38:11.309 --> 00:38:13.590
I'm sure of it. And it's just the nature of the

00:38:13.590 --> 00:38:15.610
beast. You find friends and you have friends

00:38:15.610 --> 00:38:18.510
and you gather in a group. Yeah. But I think

00:38:18.510 --> 00:38:22.090
the difference with our group is we do try to

00:38:22.090 --> 00:38:24.949
go out of our way to introduce like one of the

00:38:24.949 --> 00:38:27.909
things that I do is if we're going to a party,

00:38:28.599 --> 00:38:31.179
I'll put out a rendezvous rendezvous or a hot

00:38:31.179 --> 00:38:32.699
date if you're on one of those other websites

00:38:32.699 --> 00:38:36.699
And I'll say like hey, you know, the magic word

00:38:36.699 --> 00:38:44.639
for tonight is you know Waterboard or something

00:38:46.629 --> 00:38:49.250
But I'm like if you, basically what I put is

00:38:49.250 --> 00:38:52.230
if you come up and tell us the magic word, you

00:38:52.230 --> 00:38:54.969
get a free hug from one of us, you know. And

00:38:54.969 --> 00:38:57.269
it's just kind of like a. Icebreaker. An icebreaker,

00:38:57.349 --> 00:38:59.369
and it's worked. We've had a lot of people come

00:38:59.369 --> 00:39:01.409
up, they're like, hey, how's it going? Waterboard.

00:39:01.929 --> 00:39:03.489
And it's like all of a sudden, you're kind of,

00:39:03.610 --> 00:39:06.530
you're part of our group. So the thing I will

00:39:06.530 --> 00:39:11.090
tell you is before. before you start, I'm kinda

00:39:11.090 --> 00:39:13.809
skipping ahead a bit, is before you start going

00:39:13.809 --> 00:39:16.809
to an event and you start labeling people as

00:39:16.809 --> 00:39:19.769
clicky, you gotta understand you're also part

00:39:19.769 --> 00:39:24.090
of that equation. You can't sit in a corner all

00:39:24.090 --> 00:39:26.909
by yourself and point at people and call them

00:39:26.909 --> 00:39:30.150
clicky. You have to meet them halfway. Because

00:39:30.150 --> 00:39:33.530
I have personally gone out of my way to people

00:39:33.530 --> 00:39:36.519
sitting in the corner. to try to bridge that

00:39:36.519 --> 00:39:38.579
gap, and it doesn't always work. Right? Some

00:39:38.579 --> 00:39:40.440
people are like, why are you talking to me? There

00:39:40.440 --> 00:39:43.420
was a couple years ago, there was a couple sitting

00:39:43.420 --> 00:39:47.039
in a corner, and I wasn't interested in them,

00:39:47.059 --> 00:39:49.300
but they looked lonely. They looked like they

00:39:49.300 --> 00:39:51.960
were scared. And I went up, I'm like, hey, nice

00:39:51.960 --> 00:39:54.219
to meet you. I'm dot dot dot. Hey, is this your

00:39:54.219 --> 00:39:55.900
first time here? And they looked at me like I

00:39:55.900 --> 00:40:00.030
was a fucking idiot. Right. lasted about 25 seconds

00:40:00.030 --> 00:40:02.190
and I, you know, I bowed my head and I said,

00:40:02.449 --> 00:40:06.530
peace, I'm out. And they probably called us clicky,

00:40:06.829 --> 00:40:09.550
but like I tried. So one of the things I will

00:40:09.550 --> 00:40:12.789
say, some other podcasts I've talked about, they

00:40:12.789 --> 00:40:15.710
set up rules for themselves. It's like when you're

00:40:15.710 --> 00:40:19.730
going to a party, introduce yourself to a minimum

00:40:19.730 --> 00:40:23.570
of three couples. Simple things like that will

00:40:23.570 --> 00:40:25.829
help, will just make your night better. It's

00:40:25.829 --> 00:40:28.480
gonna push you to come out of your box. it's

00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:30.519
gonna help you break down those walls of the

00:40:30.519 --> 00:40:32.980
clique. And it's gonna introduce you to people

00:40:32.980 --> 00:40:35.320
that maybe you didn't, and it doesn't even have

00:40:35.320 --> 00:40:37.699
to be people you're interested in. Just, you

00:40:37.699 --> 00:40:39.860
can talk to a couple that's standing next to

00:40:39.860 --> 00:40:42.059
you. You're like, hey, nice to meet you, dot

00:40:42.059 --> 00:40:43.739
dot dot. You're at the bar, or whatever. You

00:40:43.739 --> 00:40:46.679
come here often, what are you drinking? How long

00:40:46.679 --> 00:40:48.199
have you been in the LS? There's so many different

00:40:48.199 --> 00:40:52.239
ways. Just three couples per party, and all of

00:40:52.239 --> 00:40:54.920
a sudden, that's kind of what happened with us.

00:40:54.940 --> 00:40:57.679
We started going to these parties, started talking

00:40:57.679 --> 00:40:59.460
to new people and now all of a sudden we're part

00:40:59.460 --> 00:41:02.239
of the group. Yeah. So kind of skipped ahead

00:41:02.239 --> 00:41:03.679
a bit on that because that was kind of one of

00:41:03.679 --> 00:41:05.639
my later notepad things. You will see if you

00:41:05.639 --> 00:41:07.199
would have shared your goddamn notepad with me

00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:09.039
I probably could have helped you not skip along

00:41:09.039 --> 00:41:12.019
but here I am just running my mouth going off

00:41:12.019 --> 00:41:16.920
off the cuff. Let me know when you're done. I

00:41:16.920 --> 00:41:19.500
was gonna say something before you so rudely.

00:41:19.659 --> 00:41:24.340
You're the one that cut me off. What were you

00:41:24.340 --> 00:41:27.059
gonna say with your infinite wisdom. No, I don't

00:41:27.059 --> 00:41:29.360
know now. That's all right. I forgot. Must not

00:41:29.360 --> 00:41:31.599
been that good. All right, move on. Go down your

00:41:31.599 --> 00:41:33.340
list. I'm sure I'll think this is gonna be your

00:41:33.340 --> 00:41:36.500
fourth partner. I can already tell shit. So one

00:41:36.500 --> 00:41:38.260
of the underestimate the amount of time I can

00:41:38.260 --> 00:41:42.519
talk for. That is true. What one of the other

00:41:42.519 --> 00:41:44.900
things is that's very important when getting

00:41:44.900 --> 00:41:48.360
into the LS is you always have to go the speed

00:41:48.360 --> 00:41:52.320
of the slowest person. Yeah. Now that can also

00:41:52.320 --> 00:41:55.960
change. So we call it the gas and the break.

00:41:57.880 --> 00:42:01.139
So typically the person that's the most excited

00:42:01.139 --> 00:42:03.860
about it is gonna be the gas. And you have the

00:42:03.860 --> 00:42:05.599
person that's a little more tentative, that's

00:42:05.599 --> 00:42:08.480
gonna be the break. Makes sense, right? But sometimes,

00:42:08.599 --> 00:42:11.940
like for us, I was kind of the gas, you were

00:42:11.940 --> 00:42:15.000
the break, and then sometimes it's switched on

00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:18.079
us. And like all of a sudden I'm playing keep

00:42:18.079 --> 00:42:19.820
up. And I'm like break, break, break, break.

00:42:21.980 --> 00:42:24.260
You have to, the biggest thing about the Ellis

00:42:24.260 --> 00:42:28.320
is you have to adapt. I think we're a little

00:42:28.320 --> 00:42:30.780
more balanced now. I think we're definitely more

00:42:30.780 --> 00:42:34.500
balanced. Yeah. I think we're more, we're definitely

00:42:34.500 --> 00:42:36.760
more balanced. I think we've figured out our,

00:42:36.880 --> 00:42:41.500
our kind of our sweet spot. Yeah. Sometimes I

00:42:41.500 --> 00:42:43.360
want to be a little more of this. Sometimes I

00:42:43.360 --> 00:42:45.880
want to, but it's like, ultimately I think we've,

00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:48.880
we've found our spot, but getting into it, there

00:42:48.880 --> 00:42:54.219
was like, Remember we we had like many years

00:42:54.219 --> 00:42:58.500
ago. We went to a place in Palm Springs and you

00:42:58.500 --> 00:43:02.179
got pretty drunk and We got into a big old fight

00:43:02.179 --> 00:43:06.280
Like we were we were having like a little moment

00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:10.460
if you and I see I was fucking you doggy mm -hmm,

00:43:11.099 --> 00:43:12.920
and there was a couple that was watching us we

00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:15.780
talked to this couple earlier in the night and

00:43:16.489 --> 00:43:19.090
They they were watching us from afar and I kind

00:43:19.090 --> 00:43:21.429
of waved him over and we started kind of doing

00:43:21.429 --> 00:43:25.969
like a parallel play situation and It was going

00:43:25.969 --> 00:43:30.369
good until it wasn't and at one point like you

00:43:30.369 --> 00:43:32.750
just got up and you ran to the bathroom and you

00:43:32.750 --> 00:43:34.989
had a moment and like I followed you and it turned

00:43:34.989 --> 00:43:38.449
into a big fight and That that you know, we went

00:43:38.449 --> 00:43:40.710
back to the hotel. You were running across the

00:43:40.710 --> 00:43:43.050
street. I'm telling you to not get hit by cars

00:43:43.839 --> 00:43:46.239
You know, I guarantee you everybody that's listening

00:43:46.239 --> 00:43:49.119
that has been doing this. I don't remember that.

00:43:49.539 --> 00:43:51.039
Probably because I had too much to drink. You

00:43:51.039 --> 00:43:52.840
might remember the next part though, but I guarantee

00:43:52.840 --> 00:43:54.800
you everybody that's listened to this like, oh

00:43:54.800 --> 00:43:56.980
yeah, we've had that fight. We've had that fight.

00:43:57.699 --> 00:44:00.840
So we got back to the hotel. We argued some more.

00:44:01.059 --> 00:44:02.980
It was stupid argument. The next day we were

00:44:02.980 --> 00:44:05.340
going home and I was like, babe, I'm done with

00:44:05.340 --> 00:44:07.079
this. Like, do you just want to pull the rip

00:44:07.079 --> 00:44:10.880
cord now? Like we're out. I can't do this. And

00:44:10.880 --> 00:44:13.059
in my head, I'm thinking you're gonna be like,

00:44:13.159 --> 00:44:14.679
yeah, you're like, no, wait, wait, wait, calm

00:44:14.679 --> 00:44:18.559
down. Hold on. I'm like, what? So like it went

00:44:18.559 --> 00:44:20.260
from I was the guest and all of a sudden I was

00:44:20.260 --> 00:44:22.659
the break. I'm like, fuck this. I'm done. I'm

00:44:22.659 --> 00:44:24.420
not fighting like this no more. And you're like,

00:44:24.599 --> 00:44:28.579
whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I was like, shit,

00:44:28.699 --> 00:44:30.460
you know, just, and that was one of the moments

00:44:30.460 --> 00:44:34.539
that made me realize like, okay. Not everything

00:44:34.539 --> 00:44:37.199
is a make or break. Yeah. Well, I think for us

00:44:37.199 --> 00:44:39.219
it's different and all couples are different

00:44:39.219 --> 00:44:43.139
and we actually realize that at Dinner the other

00:44:43.139 --> 00:44:45.880
night with some of our couple friends, but you

00:44:45.880 --> 00:44:50.519
and I we I don't this isn't like a like bragging

00:44:50.519 --> 00:44:53.320
point or whatever, but we We don't have fights

00:44:53.320 --> 00:44:56.840
like we don't fight like that's not our we've

00:44:56.840 --> 00:45:00.960
been together for 20 something years and from

00:45:00.960 --> 00:45:06.420
up until I mean. I was 18 when we got together,

00:45:06.420 --> 00:45:08.139
so I mean, we had fights, obviously, when we

00:45:08.139 --> 00:45:10.119
were first dating and like that stuff. But basically,

00:45:10.239 --> 00:45:13.260
once we've a full shirt, once we've been married.

00:45:13.380 --> 00:45:17.159
Yeah, we don't fight. No, like it's not. We've

00:45:17.159 --> 00:45:21.139
had maybe two fights. So before we got to the

00:45:21.139 --> 00:45:23.480
L .S. and then obviously the L .S., there were

00:45:23.480 --> 00:45:25.860
definitely situations where it brought up like

00:45:25.860 --> 00:45:28.900
big emotions and brings up insecurity and security.

00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:31.750
Why they say don't go into it. trying to fix

00:45:31.750 --> 00:45:34.570
stuff. Yeah, because it'll it'll gonna highlight

00:45:34.570 --> 00:45:38.449
all of it. Exactly. So I think I think for for

00:45:38.449 --> 00:45:43.469
us for that part of it is it became like when

00:45:43.469 --> 00:45:45.590
those things would come up and we would have

00:45:45.590 --> 00:45:49.289
those like arguments or whatever about insecurities

00:45:49.289 --> 00:45:52.150
or if you want to say jealousy or you want to

00:45:52.150 --> 00:45:55.289
say what do you what is the other word you use?

00:45:55.690 --> 00:46:00.980
Well, jealousy presents well, Envy, envy, whether

00:46:00.980 --> 00:46:03.099
oftentimes you're having envy and it presents

00:46:03.099 --> 00:46:05.840
as jealousy, but it's different. Yeah, they're

00:46:05.840 --> 00:46:08.039
different for sure. But whether it's jealousy,

00:46:08.280 --> 00:46:10.739
envy or whatever such insecurities, which is

00:46:10.739 --> 00:46:13.380
mostly I mean, jealousy is a lot of insecurities.

00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:16.019
Anyway, whatever was coming up at the time, like

00:46:16.019 --> 00:46:21.960
we were we were arguing way more frequently because

00:46:21.960 --> 00:46:24.440
we were pushing a lot of boundaries within our

00:46:24.440 --> 00:46:28.570
relationship. And so The first part of it, that's

00:46:28.570 --> 00:46:30.030
I think that's where it was like, let's pull

00:46:30.030 --> 00:46:31.429
that like you. That's where you were like, I

00:46:31.429 --> 00:46:33.110
need to pull this record. I'm not used to literally

00:46:33.110 --> 00:46:35.769
where don't we don't fight. So it's like very

00:46:35.769 --> 00:46:38.429
unusual for us when it's fun. It was fun. But

00:46:38.429 --> 00:46:41.030
then we would have these like fights and I'm

00:46:41.030 --> 00:46:44.630
like, I don't like to fight. Yeah. So I think

00:46:44.630 --> 00:46:47.809
I don't know. Again, I think like obviously all

00:46:47.809 --> 00:46:50.010
couples are different. But for us, that part

00:46:50.010 --> 00:46:51.869
of it was hard because it was like we never fight.

00:46:52.010 --> 00:46:54.789
I mean, now we've. Gone back to figuring that's

00:46:54.789 --> 00:46:56.349
why I said, I think we're more balanced now like

00:46:56.349 --> 00:46:59.730
we're One isn't the gas and one isn't the like

00:46:59.730 --> 00:47:03.449
we kind of have figured out that clutch situation

00:47:03.449 --> 00:47:10.570
We both have our own gas pedal But yeah, so I

00:47:10.570 --> 00:47:12.170
think that was that's a little different but

00:47:12.170 --> 00:47:15.710
again every our relationship is definitely not

00:47:15.710 --> 00:47:19.980
everybody's relationship so that's not My scenario.

00:47:20.300 --> 00:47:22.599
We are at dinner with friends and they're like,

00:47:22.760 --> 00:47:25.280
that's not healthy if you don't fight. There

00:47:25.280 --> 00:47:28.800
is truth to that. But I think only if you're

00:47:28.800 --> 00:47:31.440
holding in resentment. Yeah, exactly. If there's

00:47:31.440 --> 00:47:33.900
bitterness and you just don't choose, neither

00:47:33.900 --> 00:47:36.340
one of you are confrontational. Both of us are

00:47:36.340 --> 00:47:39.559
very confrontational when we need to be. Which

00:47:39.559 --> 00:47:42.260
is why when we fight, it's like explosive because

00:47:42.260 --> 00:47:45.480
both of us are like, fuck you and fuck you too.

00:47:46.059 --> 00:47:49.670
We just don't get to that point very often. Thank

00:47:49.670 --> 00:47:51.909
God because you would lose more fights. Okay

00:47:51.909 --> 00:47:58.369
So ultimately, uh, I hate to say it but getting

00:47:58.369 --> 00:48:02.130
into the Alice be prepared for some some spicy

00:48:02.130 --> 00:48:04.150
conversations. Yeah, I don't want to say fights

00:48:04.150 --> 00:48:05.650
because not everybody's going to fight about

00:48:05.650 --> 00:48:07.170
it. You know, not everybody's going to go in

00:48:07.170 --> 00:48:10.289
with insecurity. We definitely be prepared to

00:48:10.289 --> 00:48:14.630
push boundaries. And that's oftentimes hard conversations.

00:48:14.630 --> 00:48:18.510
It can be a loud conversation. Yeah. And and

00:48:18.510 --> 00:48:20.289
drinking doesn't help drinking. I mean, we're

00:48:20.289 --> 00:48:24.050
big drinkers. So that's that's always like part

00:48:24.050 --> 00:48:27.650
of the thing. And I mean. I think the only time

00:48:27.650 --> 00:48:30.489
we've argued sober is if you said something stupid.

00:48:30.809 --> 00:48:34.590
You're so dumb. I think sober, obviously they

00:48:34.590 --> 00:48:37.769
always say like sober heads prevail. And I think

00:48:37.769 --> 00:48:41.570
that's where it kind of happens is like it's

00:48:41.570 --> 00:48:43.210
hard to have those conversations when you're

00:48:43.210 --> 00:48:46.110
drunk because nobody's thinking straight. And

00:48:46.110 --> 00:48:47.650
like I said, I don't even remember running in

00:48:47.650 --> 00:48:50.010
the street or doing any of that stuff. But obviously

00:48:50.010 --> 00:48:54.989
I was drunk. So. One thing we will recommend

00:48:54.989 --> 00:48:58.610
is there's, I'm sure you've heard the term safe

00:48:58.610 --> 00:49:04.610
word or like a word to kind of stop play. So

00:49:04.610 --> 00:49:07.570
say you're in like a spicy situation and somebody

00:49:07.570 --> 00:49:09.570
gets overwhelmed and you want to pull the plug

00:49:09.570 --> 00:49:12.630
on it, it's good to have a word that lets your

00:49:12.630 --> 00:49:16.349
partner know that hey, we need to just hold up.

00:49:16.510 --> 00:49:20.760
Yeah, I'm not there. I'm not there. Safe word

00:49:20.760 --> 00:49:23.800
was pineapple, which is which is the stupid which

00:49:23.800 --> 00:49:26.179
we didn't okay when we first thought of our safe

00:49:26.179 --> 00:49:29.800
word though We didn't really realize the whole

00:49:29.800 --> 00:49:33.880
Scenario with pineapples being very LS and all

00:49:33.880 --> 00:49:37.059
that stuff. We've always had like our Like we

00:49:37.059 --> 00:49:39.739
always have had a beach vibe, like our house

00:49:39.739 --> 00:49:42.860
is beach vibe. I'm from Florida. Yeah, we're

00:49:42.860 --> 00:49:46.219
like aloha vibes, like just super, you know,

00:49:46.320 --> 00:49:48.880
chill. So it just made sense. Yeah, so it just

00:49:48.880 --> 00:49:51.000
- And you wanna choose a word that is not gonna

00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:53.639
come up in regular situations. Regular conversation,

00:49:53.800 --> 00:49:57.280
right? Like chocolate Danish. It's not like beer,

00:49:57.559 --> 00:49:59.320
where it might come up or it's not like, oh,

00:49:59.320 --> 00:50:02.460
that feels good is my safe word. Yeah. Like that's

00:50:02.460 --> 00:50:05.179
not a good one. Yeah, so - Like fuck me harder.

00:50:05.449 --> 00:50:08.349
Yeah, she wants to stop guys. Yeah, she said

00:50:08.349 --> 00:50:11.949
no. So that's like, so it's just funny though,

00:50:11.949 --> 00:50:14.110
because yeah, that was our that was ours. I mean,

00:50:14.150 --> 00:50:17.030
obviously, it's not anymore. But it was ours.

00:50:17.630 --> 00:50:23.150
And it was we just we had no clue. We're like

00:50:23.150 --> 00:50:25.130
upside down pineapple. Wow, we're so original.

00:50:26.190 --> 00:50:29.349
But what I was getting at is pineapple for us

00:50:29.349 --> 00:50:32.429
has actually transitioned into another version

00:50:32.429 --> 00:50:35.500
of our safe word. And I would recommend doing

00:50:35.500 --> 00:50:38.219
this if if you're drinkers if you're drinkers

00:50:38.219 --> 00:50:40.800
yourself arguing and you know that Sometimes

00:50:40.800 --> 00:50:44.239
you just have stupid fights over like something,

00:50:44.239 --> 00:50:47.420
you know something dumb because most drunk fights

00:50:47.420 --> 00:50:50.780
are dumb so we have something where if one of

00:50:50.780 --> 00:50:55.300
us if we find ourselves arguing and It you're

00:50:55.300 --> 00:50:58.179
going in circles or you realize like to yourself

00:50:58.179 --> 00:51:01.059
That it's a dumb fight and you don't really want

00:51:01.059 --> 00:51:06.389
to apologize We have we use admit you're wrong

00:51:06.389 --> 00:51:09.070
We use the pineapple as kind of like a ripcord

00:51:09.070 --> 00:51:12.010
to the argument and the concept of it is like,

00:51:12.010 --> 00:51:15.070
okay Let's just both realize this is stupid.

00:51:15.130 --> 00:51:17.269
This is stupid. We can step away from it We can

00:51:17.269 --> 00:51:19.769
still maybe be angry for whatever reason, but

00:51:19.769 --> 00:51:22.250
maybe we can salvage whatever we were doing you're

00:51:22.250 --> 00:51:24.949
out for the night You know, you got the hotel

00:51:24.949 --> 00:51:27.469
room You got the dinner reservations and sometimes

00:51:27.469 --> 00:51:29.489
you just like you're arguing about something

00:51:29.489 --> 00:51:31.510
stupid and one of us will just be like pineapple

00:51:31.710 --> 00:51:33.949
pineapple. And that's like our way of saying,

00:51:34.030 --> 00:51:37.690
all right, this is done. I love you. Let's move

00:51:37.690 --> 00:51:40.869
on. Yeah. And it works 90 % of the time. If we

00:51:40.869 --> 00:51:43.570
remember. Yeah. To say it. Sometimes we still

00:51:43.570 --> 00:51:45.250
have the stupid ones. Sometimes we're like, oh,

00:51:45.269 --> 00:51:48.530
we should have said pineapple last night. So

00:51:48.530 --> 00:51:53.369
that's another another pro tip is safe words

00:51:53.369 --> 00:51:56.070
can be used for other things than just bedroom.

00:51:56.829 --> 00:51:59.690
Sometimes you know, in this emotions are riding

00:51:59.690 --> 00:52:02.789
high. You're going to experience feelings that

00:52:02.789 --> 00:52:05.269
you're not used to. And sometimes you just have

00:52:05.269 --> 00:52:09.329
to pull the rip cord on that moment. And that

00:52:09.329 --> 00:52:12.170
allows you to step back, look at it from another

00:52:12.170 --> 00:52:15.030
angle, you know, resume the conversation tomorrow

00:52:15.030 --> 00:52:17.510
when you're sober and all that stuff. So that's

00:52:17.510 --> 00:52:19.929
another kind of pro tip. The other thing I want

00:52:19.929 --> 00:52:22.590
to say, too, is like, well, you just said having

00:52:22.590 --> 00:52:27.610
like a having a safe word during play that your

00:52:27.610 --> 00:52:31.510
partner knows. And if something happens, but

00:52:31.510 --> 00:52:36.309
I'm not feeling like obligated to explain yourself

00:52:36.309 --> 00:52:38.809
to the couple that you're with. No, you don't

00:52:38.809 --> 00:52:41.190
owe the you only thing you owe the other couple

00:52:41.190 --> 00:52:44.309
is respect. Yeah. Just as a human. Yeah. Yeah.

00:52:44.309 --> 00:52:46.550
But you don't owe them an explanation. You don't

00:52:46.550 --> 00:52:50.989
owe them. I mean. You don't owe them. Oh, I have

00:52:50.989 --> 00:52:54.750
to finish because we started this or like what

00:52:54.750 --> 00:52:57.730
no if Consent can be taken away at any point

00:52:57.730 --> 00:53:00.150
exactly. So if it's done, it's done. And if you

00:53:00.150 --> 00:53:03.210
make a scene, I Mean you make it's not ideal.

00:53:03.210 --> 00:53:05.630
Yeah, it's not an idea. We've all made a scene

00:53:05.630 --> 00:53:09.110
but bad just gracefully back out of it as much

00:53:09.110 --> 00:53:12.989
as you can and move on like I don't I think that

00:53:12.989 --> 00:53:15.329
I was having another conversation with other

00:53:15.329 --> 00:53:18.070
couples about their Some couple was playing with

00:53:18.070 --> 00:53:20.110
a new couple and they had a situation. The guy

00:53:20.110 --> 00:53:21.929
got really upset or whatever, and it made it

00:53:21.929 --> 00:53:23.230
awkward. And then they had to see them the next

00:53:23.230 --> 00:53:25.809
day and it got really awkward. But I was kind

00:53:25.809 --> 00:53:27.690
of thinking to myself, I mean, I get it like

00:53:27.690 --> 00:53:29.449
that's awkward, but they don't really owe you

00:53:29.449 --> 00:53:33.130
anything. You know, like we're all in this. With

00:53:33.130 --> 00:53:35.250
our partners, and that's our primary person.

00:53:35.349 --> 00:53:37.630
And if my primary person is uncomfortable and

00:53:37.630 --> 00:53:39.170
they don't want me talking to you or explaining

00:53:39.170 --> 00:53:41.849
to you what happened or they don't, you know,

00:53:41.949 --> 00:53:43.969
don't want me having that conversation. I don't

00:53:43.969 --> 00:53:46.190
I don't necessarily owe that. And then also think

00:53:46.190 --> 00:53:49.730
of that in reverse. Like if a couple. ghost you

00:53:49.730 --> 00:53:51.829
or something happens or whatever and you're like,

00:53:51.829 --> 00:53:54.989
Oh, what's wrong with us? I definitely like would

00:53:54.989 --> 00:53:56.849
not think, Oh, what's wrong with us? I would

00:53:56.849 --> 00:53:59.070
think something happened with them because that's

00:53:59.070 --> 00:54:01.670
more than likely like what happened is something

00:54:01.670 --> 00:54:05.349
happened with them. They either it like feelings

00:54:05.349 --> 00:54:10.469
were hurt or I mean, we all live our, we all

00:54:10.469 --> 00:54:12.289
live our normal lives to something in their normal

00:54:12.289 --> 00:54:13.929
life could have happened or whatever. You know

00:54:13.929 --> 00:54:15.789
what I mean? Like you just don't know. And I

00:54:15.789 --> 00:54:18.869
would never assume like, Oh, feel like that's

00:54:18.869 --> 00:54:21.769
what people Because we're kind of in like the

00:54:21.769 --> 00:54:23.289
dating where they take it personal, you know

00:54:23.289 --> 00:54:25.630
Like oh, it's us or like they're ghosting us

00:54:25.630 --> 00:54:27.510
or they're like whatever with us and it's like

00:54:27.510 --> 00:54:30.130
don't take it personal move on, you know, and

00:54:30.130 --> 00:54:32.750
if like there's other people they weren't your

00:54:32.750 --> 00:54:35.650
people or You know wasn't supposed to happen.

00:54:35.650 --> 00:54:38.829
I mean that's kind of partially why we don't

00:54:38.829 --> 00:54:41.929
plan a lot of our plays because It's like what

00:54:41.929 --> 00:54:43.869
will happen will happen and then you don't have

00:54:43.869 --> 00:54:46.190
that like yeah. Oh, we were supposed to do this

00:54:46.190 --> 00:54:48.659
and then they Ghosted us or whatever because

00:54:48.659 --> 00:54:51.159
we just don't plan stuff like that. Yeah, we

00:54:51.159 --> 00:54:53.340
don't set it up to that extent Yeah, but I mean

00:54:53.340 --> 00:54:56.340
I know people that do so I guess just don't take

00:54:56.340 --> 00:54:58.800
it personal because it's more than likely something

00:54:58.800 --> 00:55:02.420
happened in their vanilla life or their marriage

00:55:02.420 --> 00:55:05.179
or their relationship or whatever it is that

00:55:05.179 --> 00:55:07.679
Actually happened and they're just not gonna

00:55:07.679 --> 00:55:10.059
tell you they just don't need to tell you because

00:55:10.059 --> 00:55:12.019
they don't I mean They really don't owe it to

00:55:12.019 --> 00:55:17.639
you. Yeah So, let's see We've covered that, we've

00:55:17.639 --> 00:55:19.179
covered that. All right, I think you guys know

00:55:19.179 --> 00:55:22.719
everything. Now you're ready. All right, guys.

00:55:22.780 --> 00:55:25.460
So winging 101, cut. Grab that string dick and

00:55:25.460 --> 00:55:30.659
go. So a couple of the other things is, you know,

00:55:31.099 --> 00:55:33.239
just kind of what you were saying, use your words.

00:55:34.559 --> 00:55:38.900
That's gonna be the biggest thing for anybody

00:55:38.900 --> 00:55:42.420
to do is using your words, especially I would

00:55:42.420 --> 00:55:46.320
say for the female perspective. I mean, I guess,

00:55:46.480 --> 00:55:48.880
yeah, more females are more or less likely. They

00:55:48.880 --> 00:55:54.400
tend to play to make the guy happier. They don't

00:55:54.400 --> 00:55:56.960
want to end something like, no, use your words.

00:55:57.099 --> 00:56:00.260
If someone's doing something that you don't like,

00:56:00.480 --> 00:56:02.960
tell them no. Like you were saying, you don't

00:56:02.960 --> 00:56:05.420
owe them anything. You're there for a shared

00:56:05.420 --> 00:56:09.099
experience. Right. If that is not living up to

00:56:09.099 --> 00:56:13.460
your side of the deal, cut it. Say no. Right.

00:56:13.780 --> 00:56:16.099
No. spank them on the nose. That kind of goes

00:56:16.099 --> 00:56:19.500
with the taking one for the team thing. Well,

00:56:19.639 --> 00:56:23.219
that's one of the subjects here. Yeah. So I don't

00:56:23.219 --> 00:56:24.840
think we're gonna get to all that. That's pretty

00:56:24.840 --> 00:56:31.579
far. We're on like number four of like 27 ,000.

00:56:31.940 --> 00:56:33.539
Damn. Yeah, there's a lot going on there. That

00:56:33.539 --> 00:56:35.780
list is extensive. So what basically has happened

00:56:35.780 --> 00:56:38.340
was I started compiling my own thoughts and as

00:56:38.340 --> 00:56:41.119
I was listening to other podcasts, ideas kept

00:56:41.119 --> 00:56:43.500
permeating into my brain and I started notepadding

00:56:43.500 --> 00:56:47.039
it. You're not sharing that notepad, that's for

00:56:47.039 --> 00:56:50.139
sure. Even though we're on iPhones and you could

00:56:50.139 --> 00:56:53.219
easily have shared that with me. I could have

00:56:53.219 --> 00:56:56.260
also been prepared for today. I kind of like

00:56:56.260 --> 00:57:00.159
getting your raw answers versus a constructed

00:57:00.159 --> 00:57:04.860
answer. So one of the things is use your words.

00:57:05.559 --> 00:57:08.000
If it's not going your way or you're uncomfortable,

00:57:09.019 --> 00:57:11.519
you can use your safe word. Don't be afraid to

00:57:11.519 --> 00:57:15.539
make a scene. A scene is momentary. and if it

00:57:15.539 --> 00:57:18.960
saves you guys from further issues, you know,

00:57:18.980 --> 00:57:21.260
do what you gotta do. Yeah, I mean, it's not

00:57:21.260 --> 00:57:25.079
ideal. Here's the thing with me. If we're having

00:57:25.079 --> 00:57:28.420
an interaction with a couple and I see her panic

00:57:28.420 --> 00:57:32.260
or him panic and pull away and say a safe word

00:57:32.260 --> 00:57:34.699
and you can see there's an awkwardness, I would

00:57:34.699 --> 00:57:37.860
not judge them. Right. I'd be like, hey, okay,

00:57:37.940 --> 00:57:41.019
cool, I don't know if it was me, my bad, sorry.

00:57:41.500 --> 00:57:44.099
figure it out, we can talk later. Like I would

00:57:44.099 --> 00:57:46.039
never judge you. Now, if it became something

00:57:46.039 --> 00:57:48.360
where he gets up and punches me and pushes me

00:57:48.360 --> 00:57:50.800
and then it's going to be an issue at that point.

00:57:50.920 --> 00:57:52.739
Like that's not the way you want to take it.

00:57:53.159 --> 00:57:55.480
No, but just, you can pull out of the situation

00:57:55.480 --> 00:58:00.139
literally and then, you know, have a conversation

00:58:00.139 --> 00:58:02.599
later. If you want it personally, I wouldn't

00:58:02.599 --> 00:58:05.139
like every, I've, I've been the guy that's been

00:58:05.139 --> 00:58:09.940
the awkward one. So I would just say, be, be

00:58:09.940 --> 00:58:12.820
nice, be gentle. You know shit happens to everybody.

00:58:13.039 --> 00:58:17.019
Yeah So the other thing is is you kind of have

00:58:17.019 --> 00:58:21.639
to figure out your personal couple dynamic Right

00:58:21.639 --> 00:58:25.400
like how what's your style of play? What is what's

00:58:25.400 --> 00:58:27.800
your reason for being here? What is it? You hope

00:58:27.800 --> 00:58:32.179
to achieve, you know so the I would say the most

00:58:32.179 --> 00:58:35.739
probably common is just Swinger couple right

00:58:35.739 --> 00:58:38.340
like you're both swapping. You're swapping. You're

00:58:38.340 --> 00:58:41.440
you're both in it to win it There's, you know,

00:58:41.659 --> 00:58:44.280
kind of even across the board. But there's a

00:58:44.280 --> 00:58:46.199
lot of variations and I'm going to talk about

00:58:46.199 --> 00:58:50.019
a few. Well, you just said even and it kind of

00:58:50.019 --> 00:58:52.480
triggered me a little bit because I think some

00:58:52.480 --> 00:58:57.500
people and I recently heard this is what's fair

00:58:57.500 --> 00:58:59.920
is fair. Like if you get something, I get something.

00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:02.900
If you get something, I get a tit for tat situation.

00:59:03.139 --> 00:59:08.559
And I don't to me personally. I don't think it's

00:59:08.559 --> 00:59:12.260
healthy to keep score. No, like we've never really

00:59:12.260 --> 00:59:14.380
approached. No, we haven't. I'm not saying that

00:59:14.380 --> 00:59:17.820
we have. I just heard like that. Some like some

00:59:17.820 --> 00:59:21.619
we've had situations where a girl will give me

00:59:21.619 --> 00:59:25.639
attention and then the guy thinks he can do the

00:59:25.639 --> 00:59:28.099
exact same attention with you. Yeah, that's not

00:59:28.099 --> 00:59:29.480
even what I'm talking about. But yeah, but I

00:59:29.480 --> 00:59:31.099
mean, it's very much like, yeah, that will happen.

00:59:31.260 --> 00:59:33.380
You're with my wife. I get to be with yours.

00:59:33.900 --> 00:59:39.280
And while that seems fair, in quotations, everybody

00:59:39.280 --> 00:59:43.659
needs to be part of that agreement. And the woman,

00:59:43.940 --> 00:59:47.360
just because maybe your wife likes me, my wife

00:59:47.360 --> 00:59:50.179
maybe doesn't like you. It's nothing personal.

00:59:50.659 --> 00:59:52.940
But if you guys are that type of couple, then

00:59:52.940 --> 00:59:55.480
we're not your couple. So there's definitely

00:59:55.480 --> 00:59:58.059
been a few of those where the wife's been into

00:59:58.059 --> 01:00:00.579
me, but you're not really into the husband. And

01:00:00.579 --> 01:00:04.630
then he's kind of pushed on you. without even

01:00:04.630 --> 01:00:07.949
having that like, hey, conversation. Yeah, just

01:00:07.949 --> 01:00:11.590
look. Yeah. No, that's not cool. Yeah. And I've

01:00:11.590 --> 01:00:13.409
never never approached the same way. We've had

01:00:13.409 --> 01:00:16.909
some situations way earlier where the guy was

01:00:16.909 --> 01:00:20.230
into you and the girl either what she wasn't

01:00:20.230 --> 01:00:23.730
into me or she was shy or whatever the case.

01:00:23.769 --> 01:00:25.590
And you were making out with him at the bar and

01:00:25.590 --> 01:00:27.889
I'm sitting there fiddling with my my fingers

01:00:27.889 --> 01:00:30.610
like saying, well, shit, what am I doing? And

01:00:30.610 --> 01:00:34.309
that's when I had jealousy, jealousy, slash envy.

01:00:34.449 --> 01:00:37.309
And it was more like, well, I want to do something

01:00:37.309 --> 01:00:41.690
too. Yeah. So it wasn't necessarily jealousy.

01:00:41.690 --> 01:00:44.909
It was just like, I kind of felt left out. So

01:00:44.909 --> 01:00:47.590
you kind of have to, you got to work your way

01:00:47.590 --> 01:00:49.730
around that. Yeah. Kind of figure out if you're

01:00:49.730 --> 01:00:52.150
that tit for tat. Yeah. You got to play like

01:00:52.150 --> 01:00:54.309
that. Yeah. And then if that's the case, then

01:00:54.309 --> 01:00:56.550
you really need to have those conversations.

01:00:56.829 --> 01:01:02.860
And The way we play like the kind of moving into

01:01:02.860 --> 01:01:06.960
it like slow like just the like natural progression

01:01:06.960 --> 01:01:10.079
of things probably doesn't work as well because

01:01:10.079 --> 01:01:12.920
You would need to know each of you are into each

01:01:12.920 --> 01:01:18.199
other. You know what I mean? Cuz then if She's

01:01:18.199 --> 01:01:20.159
giving you a blowjob, but I'm not into him and

01:01:20.159 --> 01:01:23.269
I'm like, oh well You pick somebody who I'm not

01:01:23.269 --> 01:01:27.309
into her spouse. So now I get to go with somebody.

01:01:27.889 --> 01:01:29.210
You know what I mean? Then it becomes like a

01:01:29.210 --> 01:01:30.769
tit. Like I was just saying, like a tit for tat.

01:01:30.789 --> 01:01:32.590
Like you did this. Now I get to go do this, even

01:01:32.590 --> 01:01:35.690
though I wasn't into him. And this is like, no,

01:01:35.690 --> 01:01:38.190
I'm like, if you get at the end of the night,

01:01:38.289 --> 01:01:40.030
sometimes we're like, oh, you know, what did

01:01:40.030 --> 01:01:42.889
you do tonight? Because we're at like a party

01:01:42.889 --> 01:01:46.050
and, you know, not that we don't like we've we

01:01:46.050 --> 01:01:48.070
always make sure we're if we're fucking we're

01:01:48.070 --> 01:01:49.989
in the same room. But like we've talked about

01:01:49.989 --> 01:01:52.869
this before. the soft play like blow jobs as

01:01:52.869 --> 01:01:55.809
long as it's out in the open and not um with

01:01:55.809 --> 01:01:59.309
with the soft play we're kind of same roof is

01:01:59.309 --> 01:02:03.750
what they say yeah same roof same roof so um

01:02:03.750 --> 01:02:05.969
sometimes i don't know all of that you've done

01:02:05.969 --> 01:02:08.769
and you're like you don't know all of what i've

01:02:08.769 --> 01:02:10.349
done at the end of the night and so we'll kind

01:02:10.349 --> 01:02:13.650
of be like that but it's I'm not like, okay.

01:02:13.769 --> 01:02:16.250
Well, you got 11 blowjobs tonight So then tomorrow

01:02:16.250 --> 01:02:20.130
night I get to and I only had two so now I get

01:02:20.130 --> 01:02:22.969
nine more on Right, you know what I mean? Like

01:02:22.969 --> 01:02:25.550
it's not like it can't be like that I don't know.

01:02:25.550 --> 01:02:27.650
I think and if you are then you have to figure

01:02:27.650 --> 01:02:29.530
out your play. I just have to make sure that

01:02:29.530 --> 01:02:32.730
is Translated to the people you play with because

01:02:32.730 --> 01:02:35.030
it's gonna be a big consent issue because not

01:02:35.030 --> 01:02:36.769
everybody's gonna It's you're not always gonna

01:02:36.769 --> 01:02:39.530
have that four -way connection. Yeah, I think

01:02:39.530 --> 01:02:44.329
we've done very well That sense. Yeah, like we

01:02:44.329 --> 01:02:46.429
a lot of people talk about they struggle with

01:02:46.429 --> 01:02:49.409
the for the you know, the unicorn four -way connection

01:02:49.409 --> 01:02:51.550
I feel like we've done really well. Yeah, but

01:02:51.550 --> 01:02:54.130
I think part of it is to is ours. Not our standards

01:02:54.130 --> 01:02:59.349
are low but like Sorry friends that are listening.

01:02:59.369 --> 01:03:03.090
No our standards are not low but our but we're

01:03:03.090 --> 01:03:05.389
like we always say I'm not trying to check every

01:03:05.389 --> 01:03:08.409
box Yes, like I've married my person who's checking

01:03:08.409 --> 01:03:12.329
all my boxes With play partners, I'm just trying

01:03:12.329 --> 01:03:14.769
to check like half of them. Yeah, you know, like

01:03:14.769 --> 01:03:16.710
I want to be attracted to you. Give me a couple

01:03:16.710 --> 01:03:18.469
of solid checks. Yeah, I want to be attracted

01:03:18.469 --> 01:03:22.809
to you. And then like, you know, good personality

01:03:22.809 --> 01:03:26.210
helps. And like, you know, it's just like you

01:03:26.210 --> 01:03:29.150
could be funny. I don't know. Like it just like

01:03:29.150 --> 01:03:31.730
funny. You could be funny looking. I could go

01:03:31.730 --> 01:03:35.329
either way. You know, like it's just like, you

01:03:35.329 --> 01:03:38.730
know, maybe you're not. Six foot plus, but you

01:03:38.730 --> 01:03:40.150
know, you've got other qualities or whatever.

01:03:40.150 --> 01:03:42.130
So it's like it doesn't need to check like every

01:03:42.130 --> 01:03:43.989
single one of my boxes because I'm like, I'm

01:03:43.989 --> 01:03:46.510
not marrying you. I'm just having fun with you.

01:03:46.650 --> 01:03:48.750
But I think some people when they're looking

01:03:48.750 --> 01:03:50.550
for that four way connection and I don't know,

01:03:50.570 --> 01:03:52.829
I could be wrong. I feel like they just want

01:03:52.829 --> 01:03:55.429
too many boxes checked and then it's like, OK,

01:03:55.489 --> 01:03:57.929
well, yeah, you're never going to find the equivalent

01:03:57.929 --> 01:04:04.190
to. All your boxes and your spouse find the equivalent

01:04:04.190 --> 01:04:06.889
to all their boxes in the same like it's gonna

01:04:06.889 --> 01:04:09.349
be yeah That's gonna be hard. But if you just

01:04:09.349 --> 01:04:11.809
like go for a few I feel like you know, as long

01:04:11.809 --> 01:04:13.829
as attractions there I think that's the biggest

01:04:13.829 --> 01:04:16.170
thing is like you you got to go into it realizing

01:04:16.170 --> 01:04:19.789
you're in it for fun at least I would say us

01:04:19.789 --> 01:04:24.070
and I Would say most others are in it for fun

01:04:24.070 --> 01:04:25.829
Some are some people are looking for more and

01:04:25.829 --> 01:04:28.610
that's where the goods in this polyamory. Yeah

01:04:30.050 --> 01:04:32.809
But you kind of have to go into it like, I'm

01:04:32.809 --> 01:04:36.190
here for a good time, not a long time. And you're

01:04:36.190 --> 01:04:39.309
not, you just, like you said, check as many boxes

01:04:39.309 --> 01:04:43.530
as you can, let's have a good time. And I think

01:04:43.530 --> 01:04:46.789
that's, what was the primary subject of that?

01:04:46.789 --> 01:04:50.630
So I started with the fact that you said, like

01:04:50.630 --> 01:04:54.170
you said equal. You said equal. And then I was

01:04:54.170 --> 01:04:56.170
like, oh, no, like that word, whatever word you

01:04:56.170 --> 01:04:57.110
said, I don't know if it was equal, whatever

01:04:57.110 --> 01:04:58.889
you said, it kind of got me where I was like,

01:04:58.889 --> 01:05:01.349
oh, I don't like love that like idea of like,

01:05:01.369 --> 01:05:03.309
oh, we have to be equal. Like if you get this,

01:05:03.329 --> 01:05:06.389
I get this. If you get this, I get this. So basically

01:05:06.389 --> 01:05:08.230
what I was getting into is some of the different

01:05:08.230 --> 01:05:10.190
dynamics. So you have your kind of your basic,

01:05:10.190 --> 01:05:12.949
you got full swap, which is what we talked about.

01:05:13.650 --> 01:05:16.449
You have soft swap, which is what we talked about.

01:05:17.090 --> 01:05:19.989
There's a dynamic called hot wife in and that's

01:05:19.989 --> 01:05:24.500
basically. Where the husband is only really wants

01:05:24.500 --> 01:05:28.400
the woman to experience though his wife to experience

01:05:28.400 --> 01:05:36.219
it so he Yeah, so he gets off on The fact that

01:05:36.219 --> 01:05:41.159
she's out Yeah fucking being comes back gets

01:05:41.159 --> 01:05:44.119
the stories. Yeah pitchers. So there's that's

01:05:44.119 --> 01:05:46.360
hot That's hot wife and so typically that means

01:05:46.360 --> 01:05:49.980
again, this is not by law definitions. This is

01:05:49.980 --> 01:05:53.420
just kind of my experiences they go out on dates

01:05:53.420 --> 01:05:56.159
they go to events by themselves come back with

01:05:56.159 --> 01:05:59.460
stories videos whatever or he can be there but

01:05:59.460 --> 01:06:02.780
that's a different that's a different thing i'll

01:06:02.780 --> 01:06:06.000
get to that so and then there's hot husband which

01:06:06.000 --> 01:06:10.699
is a little little different um i mean it's not

01:06:10.699 --> 01:06:12.539
different it's a little more rare i think it

01:06:12.539 --> 01:06:14.760
does happen but it's the reversal hot wiping

01:06:14.760 --> 01:06:19.880
then they have cuck which is That's when the

01:06:19.880 --> 01:06:23.019
husband is there, but there's a there's a layer

01:06:23.019 --> 01:06:24.940
I was gonna say you can't what I was gonna say

01:06:24.940 --> 01:06:27.119
wasn't the guy can be there, but it doesn't have

01:06:27.119 --> 01:06:29.280
to be babe I'm getting there. Okay, you don't

01:06:29.280 --> 01:06:32.199
know these definitions like I do my gosh God

01:06:32.199 --> 01:06:35.099
woman. Okay webster and talk. Let's go Webster

01:06:35.099 --> 01:06:40.280
dictionary so cuck is When the man is there often

01:06:40.280 --> 01:06:42.579
in the room and there's like a level of like,

01:06:42.579 --> 01:06:45.800
you know demeaning You know the guy or the woman

01:06:45.800 --> 01:06:48.150
are like, you know I'm gonna do her better than

01:06:48.150 --> 01:06:50.789
you, you know, very basic. But that's kind of

01:06:50.789 --> 01:06:54.070
the cuck hold. And then there's stag and vixen.

01:06:54.250 --> 01:06:57.010
What about cut queen? You can do that. Stag and

01:06:57.010 --> 01:06:59.349
vixen is what you're talking about. But you didn't

01:06:59.349 --> 01:07:02.030
explain cut queen. It's the same thing. It's

01:07:02.030 --> 01:07:03.349
just the other way around. It's the opposite.

01:07:03.769 --> 01:07:07.329
It's also unlike... I just said cuck. It's also

01:07:07.329 --> 01:07:11.750
less... Well, in our experience, it's less common

01:07:11.750 --> 01:07:15.329
than a cuck. Yes. Yeah, we have never... Man.

01:07:15.639 --> 01:07:19.460
We have never interacted or played with a full

01:07:19.460 --> 01:07:23.980
-on cuck queen. Or a cuck. Yeah. I'll tell you

01:07:23.980 --> 01:07:28.320
later. And then what I was getting at is stag

01:07:28.320 --> 01:07:30.500
and vixen, which is kind of what you were trying

01:07:30.500 --> 01:07:33.800
to get at. Basically, stag and vixen is where

01:07:33.800 --> 01:07:38.039
the guy and the girl will often play one or the

01:07:38.039 --> 01:07:41.170
other. But there's no level of demean and there's

01:07:41.170 --> 01:07:43.610
no cucking in it It's just I'm enjoying watching

01:07:43.610 --> 01:07:45.809
my wife have a good time or I'm enjoying watching

01:07:45.809 --> 01:07:49.289
my husband. I would say we're kind of stag and

01:07:49.289 --> 01:07:53.250
vixen In the sense of I don't have to be fucking

01:07:53.250 --> 01:07:56.550
I could be enjoying you getting fucked. Mm -hmm.

01:07:56.550 --> 01:08:00.050
That's very much like an MMF or MFM type of situation

01:08:00.050 --> 01:08:05.090
I'm kind of there. I love how you how you Freudian

01:08:05.090 --> 01:08:09.380
Freudian slipped that and then and then And it

01:08:09.380 --> 01:08:13.920
was also very much like us and that that the

01:08:13.920 --> 01:08:17.420
one party Where you put the condom on me so I

01:08:17.420 --> 01:08:19.279
could fuck this one girl and yours just standing

01:08:19.279 --> 01:08:21.460
there kind of watching a little bit I mean I

01:08:21.460 --> 01:08:25.939
was Yeah, trying to be with another person That's

01:08:25.939 --> 01:08:28.640
that's kind of the stag and vixen aspect aspect

01:08:28.640 --> 01:08:32.279
of it. Like it's it's not tit -for -tat like

01:08:32.539 --> 01:08:35.180
We can kind of be doing our own thing and enjoy

01:08:35.180 --> 01:08:37.779
watching the other person do the thing, but there's

01:08:37.779 --> 01:08:40.079
no cucking, there's no demeaning. It's just like,

01:08:40.159 --> 01:08:42.680
hey, we're here for a good time. So I think we're

01:08:42.680 --> 01:08:45.539
kind of borderline stag and vixen, not extreme,

01:08:45.720 --> 01:08:48.840
but borderline. And then there's also, you know,

01:08:49.000 --> 01:08:52.779
voyeur and exhibitionist type of activities.

01:08:53.000 --> 01:08:56.699
More on exhibitionists for sure. Definitely exhibitionist.

01:08:57.180 --> 01:09:00.720
I'm very much a voyeur, but more an exhibitionist.

01:09:01.340 --> 01:09:04.220
I enjoy watching. Yeah, I know you do. But I'm

01:09:04.220 --> 01:09:06.319
definitely more of like putting on a show and

01:09:06.319 --> 01:09:09.579
being watched and stuff like that. So there is

01:09:09.579 --> 01:09:11.739
a lot of different dynamics. These are just kind

01:09:11.739 --> 01:09:15.319
of the basic base baseline, kind of the ones

01:09:15.319 --> 01:09:18.460
you're going to see on a regular basis or you're

01:09:18.460 --> 01:09:20.520
going to hear about unless you go to like a like

01:09:20.520 --> 01:09:23.039
a fetish. Yeah, if you go to like a kink or a

01:09:23.039 --> 01:09:25.699
BDSM focused, you're going to hear all kinds

01:09:25.699 --> 01:09:28.800
of different kinds of and I don't even claim

01:09:28.800 --> 01:09:31.890
to know those. I zero know them. There's all

01:09:31.890 --> 01:09:34.949
kinds of levels in the kink and but these are

01:09:34.949 --> 01:09:38.010
just kind of like the basic We'll call it this

01:09:38.010 --> 01:09:40.869
the starter the starter kit the starter kit swing

01:09:40.869 --> 01:09:44.210
your starter kit Wow, I think I think we're gonna

01:09:44.210 --> 01:09:46.350
wrap this episode up here because I think this

01:09:46.350 --> 01:09:51.710
is a good part because Just basically as you're

01:09:51.710 --> 01:09:55.229
starting to get into it it's We have some friends

01:09:55.229 --> 01:09:58.750
that hate labels and hate categories, but I think

01:09:58.750 --> 01:10:03.149
it's important to kind of know What you're doing

01:10:03.149 --> 01:10:05.569
how you're approaching it so you can put yourself

01:10:05.569 --> 01:10:08.310
in that like a position to succeed Yeah, I think

01:10:08.310 --> 01:10:10.529
it's important to know just so that you can also

01:10:10.529 --> 01:10:12.630
explain it to other people Yes, it's like what

01:10:12.630 --> 01:10:14.510
are you gonna walk up to somebody and be like,

01:10:14.750 --> 01:10:17.010
okay, so here's the situation I like my wife

01:10:17.010 --> 01:10:19.800
to get fucked and then in the same time She's

01:10:19.800 --> 01:10:21.640
going to be talking about my small dick while

01:10:21.640 --> 01:10:25.479
you're fucking her with your big dick. And that's

01:10:25.479 --> 01:10:27.479
the situation we're looking for. There's a word

01:10:27.479 --> 01:10:29.600
for that. Like it's like it's like it just helps

01:10:29.600 --> 01:10:31.920
you not have to explain all of that, because

01:10:31.920 --> 01:10:34.319
it can get a little weird where it's like, oh,

01:10:34.340 --> 01:10:36.560
we like a cuck situation. So he's going to be

01:10:36.560 --> 01:10:39.390
there, you know. And then. most people who are

01:10:39.390 --> 01:10:41.050
in it are going to know. If they don't know,

01:10:41.270 --> 01:10:42.770
then you probably have to get into that whole

01:10:42.770 --> 01:10:45.170
situation where it's like, don't get, you know,

01:10:45.170 --> 01:10:47.829
don't don't get all upset when she starts like

01:10:47.829 --> 01:10:49.729
laughing at my small dick. Well, yeah, you're

01:10:49.729 --> 01:10:51.810
going to get into a situation and they don't

01:10:51.810 --> 01:10:54.810
know it. Other people get pretty weird. Might

01:10:54.810 --> 01:10:57.689
get weird. Like, wow, she's really rude to her

01:10:57.689 --> 01:11:03.250
husband. So yeah, so I think it's good just to

01:11:03.250 --> 01:11:07.189
have labels or whatever, just to be able to quickly

01:11:07.189 --> 01:11:11.050
kind of Give a synopsis of your dynamic and then

01:11:11.050 --> 01:11:13.350
also with consent. Yeah, you gotta you gotta

01:11:13.350 --> 01:11:16.090
know where everybody's consent levels at your

01:11:16.090 --> 01:11:20.710
expectations so you can just have a a very very

01:11:20.710 --> 01:11:23.710
fun experience and not have a fight where you

01:11:23.710 --> 01:11:27.130
have to say pineapple experience Have a fantastic

01:11:27.130 --> 01:11:31.869
night So that being said I think this is gonna

01:11:31.869 --> 01:11:34.149
go to like at least a three -parter because we

01:11:34.149 --> 01:11:37.380
got a lot more We're gonna finish our talk about

01:11:37.380 --> 01:11:39.159
kind of what to expect, and then we're gonna

01:11:39.159 --> 01:11:42.800
talk about going to your first event, what to

01:11:42.800 --> 01:11:44.739
expect. And then we're also gonna talk about

01:11:44.739 --> 01:11:46.800
all the different types of events that are out

01:11:46.800 --> 01:11:49.119
there, and what are some of your favorites. Honestly,

01:11:49.300 --> 01:11:51.159
I think we've hit that in the beginning when

01:11:51.159 --> 01:11:52.800
you started talking about Naughty, and then I

01:11:52.800 --> 01:11:56.159
was like, well, there's this. No, we didn't even

01:11:56.159 --> 01:11:59.810
talk about it, though. house parties, hotel takeovers,

01:12:00.510 --> 01:12:02.470
meeting groups. Well now you're done. Hotel rooms.

01:12:02.470 --> 01:12:04.670
You're just doing it all. Right now you're doing

01:12:04.670 --> 01:12:06.850
the most. We're gonna talk about all those and

01:12:06.850 --> 01:12:09.909
then typically in our experience what some of

01:12:09.909 --> 01:12:14.210
the expectation levels have been at those different

01:12:14.210 --> 01:12:18.850
types of events. All right, that being said,

01:12:19.010 --> 01:12:21.029
I think we're gonna go ahead and close this motherfucker

01:12:21.029 --> 01:12:23.670
out. All right. Take it away. You go for it.

01:12:24.250 --> 01:12:26.470
I was gonna do it in Spanish again, but I've

01:12:26.470 --> 01:12:32.350
been told my Spanish is shit muy malo All right.

01:12:32.350 --> 01:12:34.930
I'll take it away in the world full of apples

01:12:34.930 --> 01:12:37.510
when enjoying the sweet side of life Keep your

01:12:37.510 --> 01:12:40.390
pineapples upside down believe in unicorns and

01:12:40.390 --> 01:12:43.270
keep shaking it up Love you, baby. Love you,

01:12:43.829 --> 01:12:47.409
too. I like my ruin my fucking outro. I did not

01:12:47.409 --> 01:12:51.199
I was using a swing nation one rude You need

01:12:51.199 --> 01:12:53.319
to get off her goddamn jock is what you need

01:12:53.319 --> 01:12:56.199
to do. I'm just ready for you to fuck her so

01:12:56.199 --> 01:12:57.680
that you can just get her out of your brain.

01:12:58.199 --> 01:13:01.479
I don't think I want to be her type. I don't

01:13:01.479 --> 01:13:06.340
think so. Make you her type. Oh, that's weird.

01:13:08.359 --> 01:13:10.399
All right. Good night. Good night. Love you.

01:13:10.500 --> 01:13:17.239
Bye. Love you. Bye. If you would like to get

01:13:17.239 --> 01:13:21.460
in contact with us, please email us at thesweetsideoflifepodcast

01:13:21.460 --> 01:13:25.079
at outlook .com or you can always find us on

01:13:25.079 --> 01:13:27.119
any one of our socials that are listed in the

01:13:27.119 --> 01:13:27.920
podcast links.