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join us on our journey as a married couple and
join the lifestyle in beautiful Southern California.
Welcome back everybody G We are the sweet side
of life podcast all the way from Southern, California
How are you feeling tonight my love? If I'm being
honest, all right Honest sure. Let's let's try
honesty. Let's see where honesty takes us. I'm
a bit exhausted exhausted still I did a double
workout today. My shoulders are killing me. People
were really excited when you said, I did a double.
I know. They're like, ooh, tell us more Mrs.
Sweets workout at the gym. Do you want to, do
you want to throw a shout out to your gym? What's
your gym? Oh, my gym. Who's my gym? You always
tell me have a good time with Jim and then when
I come home You're like, did you have fun or
was it hard? And I'm like Jim's always hard He's
always hard I I do orange theory fitness Workout
at orange three fitness do it take the classes.
I don't know what you want how you want to say
it But yeah highly recommend if you're looking
for a gym. It's always hard. It's worldwide Give
a little little background. What is it? It's
like a circuit training kind of like circuit
hit Hit training. Okay, so it's fun. It's a good
workout and you broke some records today I didn't
break records, but you broke hearts No, i'm proud
of you you said you got top or you got five fifth
place out of Probably 120 130 people and yeah,
you're yeah the 12 minute distance thing we did
That's pretty dope save some energy for me though.
Yeah, that was yes that was Two days ago. Oh,
I thought that was tonight. No tonight was No,
they just result. They just sent their like they
put their results on Instagram. Gotcha. So today
I just saw the results, but it actually was I
Might have even been a week ago. I can't remember
they all run together. No, it was on Tuesday
I think Monday or Tuesday that I did that today
was a double class I did 50 minutes strength
training gotta flex these arms so buff so buff
I gotta live up to my apparently my Popeye tattoo
Beard called my new tattoo a Popeye tattoo because
it's a it's on my But not in the same place Popeye
had his but it's on my forearm. It's on the outside
of your forearm. On my wrist forearm kind of
area and it's an anchor but with a music note.
It's the cruise we went on. It's the treble clef.
Yeah, so we went on music in an anchor. Yeah
treble clef and on the anchor because we went
on the 311 cruise, which we really haven't talked
about but we got tattoos on the cruise ship.
Yes, we probably won't talk. And I had my little
tattoo boyfriend. tattoo convict. He looks like
he was fresh out of cell block one. Okay, stereotyping.
Oh, I'm pretty sure he was on parole. But that's
that's that's another story. He was good vibes.
He's good. But prior to when I did my tattoo,
yeah, he's the one who did your tattoo. Prior
to doing that, we went to Secrets, which we talked
about. Are we just skipping over our drinking?
Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, I'm drinking something
I've drank before. All right. I'm doing my drinky
drinks. We're gonna pull back the curtain tonight,
folks. We knew we had to get a podcast out. Pull
back the curtain. We had some big ideas for some
big elaborate drinks, but we got lazy. and tonight
we're just going with the basic margarita. And
I'm just going with the tried and true vodka
sprite. I had like a whole drink I was gonna
do. It was a pretty fancy drink, but we're gonna
save that for tomorrow night, because we got
a little bit of a bunko party tomorrow night.
So I'm gonna be making that. Just pulling back
all of the curtains. That's right, folks. Bunko.
Cheers. So this particular Bunko is gonna be
an interesting one. We are blending worlds on
this one. A little bit. I hope it's not interesting,
actually. We are blending vanilla. We with our
with some of our LS friends now the the LS friends
that are coming over. They're all very well -behaved
Yeah, they they know what I never invite my un
well -behaved LS So So I'm gonna I'm gonna save
my big my big drink for tomorrow night. Yeah
So, um, yeah, so you we so we recap secrets and
we fucked up We didn't fuck up we know we miss
just a couple we miss some things and I think
I was I was telling you I was like, you know
what we were at a disadvantage. So clearly Carlos
and autumn remembered much more than we did Yeah,
some of that had to do with the drinking that
we did and some of it had to do with the fact
that we were taking in a lot more Sensory information
and everything was new to us Whereas they had
been there before so they kind of knew the ropes
They knew you know what to expect where to expect
it what where to go what to do. Yes Everything
was brand new to us. So I think on top of like
taking in everything it's like you kind of Forget
or Not forget, but like you just miss run over
stuff when you're recapping it. And then also
we I don't know when they recorded, but I feel
like they recorded much closer to the time when
we went. Then we did because we had we were.
We went to Secrets, the first part of our vacation.
We had a whole nother week and a few days until
our vacation was over. So we had gone on our
311 cruise. We had burned so many brain cells,
drinking every single day. Drinking every day
there. Staying up all the time there. Yeah Exactly,
we didn't even take naps so Which typically if
we do all day shit we take naps but just cruise
is like it's concerts like concerts non -stop
constant music music that you want to go see
and things you want to go do so it's like you
can't You know LS people at LS events the ones
we've been to for the most part they understand
you need that downtime if you don't like people
just burn out quick and so because everybody's
partying they usually will kind of almost schedule
like it's stuff we've been to that's been all
day it'll be like okay there's a there's a day
party there's a two to three hour lull and then
there's a night party or longer sometimes but
It but well, yeah, there was no so there was
no downtime. So we really didn't nap So anyway,
we had that whole thing going on and then we
had all of our travel time How many cups of coffee
did you have tonight? Because you're on oh, yeah
Tequila is the only liquor. That's an upper.
That's true. Yeah So anyway, we went on All of
this stuff. So so we also didn't record until
we didn't record that until I think three weeks
after We actually went three weeks. It was two
to three weeks. I don't know. I think you're
I think a little bit longer. I think two, two.
Yeah. OK, maybe two because we got back from
our vacation and we didn't even do it until like
four days after we got back. So at least at least
two, I think was longer than that. But anyway,
so so I think they recorded. before they definitely
recorded before us, but they weren't putting
it out before us is what they basically said.
So they had that advantage. But anyway, that
being said, there were some things that we missed
that we. Yeah. Definitely remember and listening
to their side of it. I'm like, oh, yeah, that
was a lot of fun. Like the lap dances between
you and the girls and in the dungeon area. Like
that was a lot of fun. Yeah. And. Oh, and I didn't
realize because actually, OK, so I think Carlos
listens to us. So, Carlos, if you're listening,
I didn't realize that that Mr. Sweets had said
something to you or to Autumn about, oh, don't
say anything on your podcast about. You going
on stage about Carlos going on stage like you
claimed it for our podcast. I didn't realize
that. I remember that. No, you did, because in
our podcast, you started talking or maybe it
wasn't in the podcast, but when we were kind
of like recapping separately, you talked about
it. And I said, no, that's I said to you, you
can't talk about that because that was, you know,
his thing that he did. You know, they need to
talk about that first. So I stopped you from
even like. putting that out of your head. Like,
don't talk about that. Yeah. And then come to
find out you actually claimed it and they were
waiting for us. And so we screwed that up. But
yeah, you basically dared him to get on stage
with the girl that was like dancing. He was clothed
though, though. Right. I think you dared him
naked. But then he had his shorts on. I remember
him being up there dancing naked. Yeah. No, he
had his shorts on. yeah so that like that was
my fault because i didn't hear you claim that
and i was like no you can't say anything about
that that was that was their whole thing and
then the other thing that i realized while i
was listening to their side like their podcast
was um autumn was actually the queen of hearts
not the rabbit which makes sense because she
didn't have ears but it just was a white it was
white and it had the um clock i Think it had
like a little clock on it, which is what made
me think rabbit versus that or dude that one
guy from Public Enemy The guy that always wears
the big clock. No, it wasn't like it wasn't like
that I know and he had a that guy had a um He
had a reality TV show too. Yeah, I'm having a
brain fart. Well, that's good thing. There's
Google base. Hello. Can you go? I don't even
know what he's saying. I just remember seeing
him from something of love or some sort of love
show. What was it? Rock of Love? No. Hold on.
Yeah. Who is the rapper? I know people are sitting
in their car like screaming at us. I know they
are. That's wonderful. The clock. Flava Flav.
Flavor of love. Yes. Flavor of love. All right.
Flava Flav. We digressed like a mother. Yeah,
we did. Anyway, it wasn't that kind of clock,
but she had like a little... It was like sewn
into the costume and it was like a little...
I should probably edit that out. I'm pretty sure
that's what it was. No, don't. Because I love
that people were in their car screaming at us,
Flava Flav! Or wherever they're listening. Anyway,
so... It was so that's what made me think it
was the rabbit. But again, she didn't have ears
on so clearly that was a misinterpret a miss
like Interpretation. Yeah Anyway, and then the
only other thing I had to say I made notes cuz
I was like, I don't want to forget because this
is what happens. Um is after hearing Their side
or autumn side of like going into the playroom
with us. I honestly don't know how she missed
us to be frank because I thought maybe we they
went in first like before we went in because
we were closing our tab and stuff and I thought
oh maybe we just took longer than like we thought
we were going to take. And then by the time we
went in there, they had already looked for us.
I mean, but that didn't wouldn't have made sense
because you would have had your phone on you
at that time, I guess, thinking about that in
hindsight. But anyway, that's kind of what my
first thought was, like when they said they like
they couldn't find us. I was like, oh, maybe
it was because they went in to look for us first
before we actually got in there. And then after
hearing you realize how fast you're talking right
now. Really? It's blowing my mind. And then after...
You're like, I'm tired. Like the Micro Machine
commercial back in the day. You're like the small
print guy in a... You might experience diarrhea.
That's why I'm not talking because I'm like,
I can't fit in anywhere. No, because I wanted
to get through these things that I had written
down. All right. So I thought... So that's what
I thought. I thought maybe they went in before
us looked around, couldn't find us and then left.
And then we went in after them. That's like kind
of what I was thinking probably happened because
I was like, how could they have missed us? So
but then hearing her side of it where she actually
saw us walk in and then went to the bathroom
and then went to go look for us. I'm like there.
I really don't know how she missed us, to be
quite honest. She might have went into that room
because we were way at the back of that room.
She might have just went in and did a quick scan.
No, she said she walked all through it. That's
what I'm trying to figure out. The only other
thing I could think is when we first went in...
I had a mask on. No, when we first went because
our even our locker was up at the front. So you
had like if you went to your locker, you had
to walk by us if we were in our locker area,
because we were like the first locker. So the
only other thing I can think of is when we first
went in and this is just how this is just you
and I, we went into the shower room really fast.
Yeah, we weren't in there very long. I mean,
it was a quick basically just like rinse off.
Yeah, just. make sure that we're not sweaty in
weird places, which we probably weren't anyway
because it was cold. But anyway, that's I digress.
So that's the only thing I can think about that
room. The shower room was so big and open. It
was like and very bright and super bright. It
was like prison bright. It was unsexy bright.
Super unsexy. If anything, secrets. If there's
anything you can improve on is maybe put some
dimmers. Dimmers in the shower. Yeah, that shower
was like locker room. It was like ain't nothing
going to happen in here bright. It was like so
unsexy bright. It was. And for a lot of people,
that's where you would start your night. You
were going to go do a quick rinse. Yeah. Well,
a lot of us people, I mean, that's how we do.
But if there's an opportunity to shower, we're
there. Yeah, yeah. I want to wash my butt, you
know. But yeah, it's it was it it started. It
set a tone really quick. It was like, oh, yeah,
it was super bright. Like I was walking to like
the intake of jail. Yeah. No, that's what I'm
saying. And the and the shower itself was like
a prison shower. Not that I've been in a prison
shower, but I've seen plenty of prison shows.
You watch a lot of prison shows. Yeah. So it
was enough. Orange is the dark. Yeah. It was
like stark white tiles and like, like you said,
super fucking bright. So anyway, if she had even
piqued her head in there, if we were in there,
she would have seen us because other than the
walls, we were the other the next brightest thing
in there. Yes, I am not very tan. We were butt
naked and yes, we're super fucking white. So
that being said, now I'm really confused at how
we missed each other. You know what? Just it
happened. Yeah, just whatever, whatever it was.
Strangers in the night. Yeah, it's wild. But
anyway. I hear they're coming. I hear the tickets
are really cheap to come to California. Yeah.
And I can promise you that your drink bill will
be so much less at one of our places. Oh, a thousand
percent. Because you're making your own damn
drinks. Because you're making your own drink
and you're bringing it yourself. Yeah. So actually.
They're not as nice, though. You know what? All
that liquor money paid for that $90 ,000 like
pool system or whatever it was. Yep. that paid
to filter all that and upgrade their upgrade
of their tiki bar and all their bars and their
sound system and their light system. That's what
all those that liquor. I know our liquor bill
at least paid for a speaker. I'm part owner of
a speaker. It's got another speaker because of
our liquor bill or one additional laser. Yeah.
Or something. Anyway, so that is my recap. Recap.
And my recap is I think I need to retire my spanking
hand again. Oh, yeah. You heard the second recap
and that was. Yeah, you didn't listen to that
yet. So yeah, I didn't listen to that one. So,
yes, I was giving out spankings. You're a spanker.
I told you you had to slow your roll on that
before. I enjoy spanking, but. Women ask me sometimes,
and we have a couple of friends that take the
best of what I can give. And I have to understand
that not everybody can. Yeah, you have to start
off slow. And then if they say, oh, that was
weak, then you can give them a little more. You
can't start off with like the biggest. Well,
see, that's the thing is I did one and I said
I and she said, OK, and then I'm like, all right,
do another. And that's the second one is the
one that got her because I took it up a level.
Yeah. So, yeah, apologize for that. What did
you do this? So we were at, we went to LUS this
past weekend. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you have
anything else you wanted to recap before I moved
on? Because it had to do with the spanking. So
that's why I transitioned. No, I think I think
we've we've we've covered secrets well enough
between our two podcasts. And yeah, yeah, I feel
like we had a great time. Yeah, a thousand percent
want to do it again. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Good
vibes. Okay. So speaking of speaking, speaking
of speaking, speaking of spanking, speaking of
spanking, that's like a hard thing to say when
you're speaking really fast. Speaking of spanking.
We went to lust. You're laughing at me. I can't
with you. You're like exhausting me right now.
We went to lust and This past weekend and we
hadn't been since I think October That sounds
about right. Yeah, so It was a good time. Yeah
We haven't hung out there for a while. Yeah,
there's a lot of new faces. We met a 20 a couple
that was in their 20s. Yes And we actually told
them to listen to our podcast. Yes. I don't know
if they're listening, but hey, y 'all, if we're
talking about 20 year olds, it's you guys. There's
only very there's very few 20 year olds in the
lifestyle, which is what we told them. Anyway,
we can talk about that whole thing because that
was like a whole nother conversation about age
and all that stuff. But what I was what I was
going to is we had friends, some friends that
we. Do know who regularly are there like I said
a lot of new faces But there were some people
who we had seen we know our friends and she likes
to be spanked hard She's got a lot of good padding
they all booty. She's gotten to the point now
where she just kind of laughs. She does funny
That's cute. You're so cute. That was a great
great try there mister nice effort But the next
day I did some spank ins I spanked a few people
that night. I was taking a shower the next day
and I was just washing my hands and I look down
and I see some like... Discoloration. Discoloration.
It was a dark shower like I didn't have the lights
blaring so I put more soap on and washed more.
I thought maybe I had makeup on my hand or something.
I freaking bruised my own hand. Spanking her
butt. Yeah, I bruised my middle finger where
the knuckle is on the bottom and then I bruised
my whatever that part of the hand is. So, Autumn
or Carlos, if you're listening and Autumn, just
know he got paid back from spanking you. He got
someone else paid him back. Someone spanked my
hand with their butt. That was a first. I'm in
construction, so my hands are fairly... worn.
Like it takes a lot to just bruise me. So oh,
she did it. Yeah, she did it. But um, yeah, so
we did less party. That was the party that uh,
I used to do sound and stuff at yeah, like you
said, we haven't been there since October. We
went out there had a great time. Like you said,
met some new faces, met some new boobs, new masses.
You got your dicks that surprise surprise. Let
me see lest and then uh, what else did we do?
It's past we've done. Oh, we had a we've had
a couple of pool parties in between all this
craziness Oh, yeah, we had a pool party and then
we did Sunday fun day Well pool party was Sunday
fun day and then we did another Sunday fun day.
Yeah It's hard to keep up with all these things
a lot going on but um We had a good time. So
but before we go any further, um we've been getting
a lot of text messages and like I said before
a lot of pictures and keep them coming guys it's
fantastic but our our our sweet side of life
sex phone number is 951 -226 -5261 oh excuse
me once again 951 -226 -5261 that is the quickest
and easiest way to get a hold of us You can also
email us at the sweet side of life podcast at
outlook comm The thing about the email is the
emails come through a lot of times They get sifted
into the junk mail and I don't see them for three
or four days The text messages or the voicemails
I get immediately so there's a good chance I'll
respond and then you know, there's been a couple
people we've been talking with giving some advice
to Stuff like that, but it kind of brought me
to one of the most recent messages I got So we
have a listener his name is Ivan and yes, I got
permission to use his name and His content I
don't know if it's his real name, but that's
that's how he introduced himself. He said yes
So he's been hitting us up for a little bit now.
Put out his phone number, just kidding. If you
can reach him at. So he's a loyal listener and
we've been going back and forth and his last
message, one of his last messages said, Hi, this
is your number one fan. He didn't actually say
that word. This is your fan Ivan just wanted
to say thank you for the last episode. And now...
he wants to visit a tiki bar to see what it's
all about. Because obviously we talk about tiki
bars. So apparently Ivan's never been to a tiki
bar. Such good vibes. I don't know where Ivan
lives. But you got to let us know and I can turn
you on to some good tiki bars in your area. If
it's an area we know. Yeah. Looking at the phone
number, I'm thinking he's somewhat in our area,
in our SoCal region. So I could probably point
you in the right direction. Then he also said,
where are we at? Okay, he asked if we are ever
thinking about doing an episode on how to tell
your loved one that you would like to join the
lifestyle. It's something that he has no idea
how to bring up to his wife, but he would appreciate
any advice. Have a great day Your number one
and number two fan So this kind of takes me to
a broader subject, um, we've been toying with
the idea of kind of Doing like an intro to the
LS. Oh like like you're What to expect? Because
we've actually had quite a few people ask that.
Like we, from our first podcast, if you go all
the way back, we talk about how we got into it.
And our podcast has always been more of a story
-based, a personal journey, journey -based and
experience -based podcast. It's never been much
of a lesson. It's like, it's not a how -to. It's
never been a how -to because we're still figuring
out how to. But I think, I think we've. We're
experienced enough now we could probably kind
of go in and structure some, you know, first
timer expectations. Yeah. What to expect at your
first party, what to take to your first party,
et cetera. However, before you get to any of
those first parties. Yeah. You have to have the
conversation. You have to have the conversation.
So, Ivan, um, I don't know your exact situation.
However, the biggest, the biggest thing. in LS
is communication. That starts way at the beginning
to where you're at right now. Yeah. And there
are some of the stuff I'm going to talk about
right now is not directly related to you, Ivan,
because obviously, I don't know your situation.
But I'm just going to reflect on some things
that I've seen. We're in a bunch of like swinger
groups. Facebook groups, my space groups. So
we so we see a lot. So we see a lot of examples
of how not to do and how to do. Yeah. So we're
going to touch on a little bit of that really
quick. So you can touch on how you brought it
up with you. Yes. So You and I are slightly I
don't know how it I don't it's it would be it
would be easier to know To give somebody advice
on this if you knew what part of it intrigued
them, right? Cuz yeah for you. Yeah it was Kind
of like the watching and the stories and the
hearing. Mm -hmm but the you and I were a little
bit different in a sense of When we weren't even
like well if you listen to the podcast from all
the way begin beginning We were going to like
a sex club before when we were just boyfriend
girlfriend Yeah, and we had zero play with anybody
else, but we had been in that that environment
environment So I don't think for me to bring
it up to you. It was as difficult because I already
knew you were open minded to a certain level
of activity. Like you were cool with being watched
and watched. Like, so that's what I was already
there. I'm kind of saying it's kind of hard to
give somebody advice when you don't know, like,
like, is it like where? Yeah, exactly. Their
starting point. Like, is their starting point
like? Prude Mormon Church like they're wearing
their underwears and they're not even like having
sex themselves Because the approach could be
completely different. Yeah a thousand percent
or are they at a point where they kind of Like
we were like, okay We kind of like we like we
know we like being watched like we we are in
this sexy atmosphere We enjoy that part of it
You go to clubs you tease each other like it's
like Like regular clubs like yeah, whatever go
out and you're just like, oh Are they comfortable
with you? Commenting on somebody else or are
they do they literally lose their shit with if
you say anything about anybody? Yeah How is your
relationship like do you compliment your wife?
All the time are you guys having sex like are
you guys doing all that stuff? Like I don't it's
like so hard to give advice when you really don't
know Yeah, cuz I could tell you personally something,
Ivan, that could blow up your whole relationship.
Yeah, because your starting point is so different.
You know, like your baseline is so different.
So I think the I mean, like you said, communication
is 100 percent like he. Yeah. But I think it
would be like you you have to think about why
do you want to do this? Yeah. And then think
about what it will bring to your relationship.
And then I think start implementing some of that
into your relationship. Just between the two
of you. Yeah. So if you think, oh, it'll bring
more communication, then try to communicate more.
If you think it's going to bring like more sex,
then try to initiate sex more. If you think it's
going to bring make your your significant other
feel sexier, because maybe they're not feeling
as sexy, but you see them as sexy. help them
feel sexy by telling them they're sexy or buying
them stuff and asking them to wear it for you
or things like that. Like, I think the first
step is kind of like knowing what you're wanting
to get out of it and first try and implement
implement that into your relationship. Yeah.
It's kind of like figuring out the why. Yeah.
And so basically some of the things I'm going
to say right now are not necessarily things To
do but it's gonna be more in the thing of things
not to do what not to do and that's easier to
say than to Because that kind of encompasses
exactly that is like that's like across the board
like just don't do this like this is Terrible,
but like I said things to do is a little bit
more difficult because it's definitely more personal
and there's definitely more personal reasons
why people get into this like I have a lot of
friends who've gotten into this because they're
the female part is bisexual and she wants to
explore that. So maybe she brought it up, you
know, but if it's so it's hard to say how to
bring it up when it's when we don't know the
why. But it's easy to say what not to do because
there's definitely some things that are definite
no's and go against everything. So here's here's
the first don't. Don't try to use this to fix
a marriage. A hundred and ten percent. If you
guys. Again, when I say you guys, I'm referring
to everybody. If if you. Have like a sexless,
loveless marriage and you think that introducing
this is going to provide a spark. Don't. It might
work for one percent. But the thing about the
LS is it's going to highlight the goods and the
bads. So if there's a lot of insecurities, it's
only going to make those bigger. If there's problems,
it's just going to highlight those even more.
But if you have good things like your communication,
it makes your communication better. It can highlight
everything, but When you're first starting, you
have to make sure you're on a very solid, solid
ground to start. Yeah. Which is why I said, which
is why I said in my like, why is you have to
whatever you want to get out of it, start that
in your current relationship before you try to
start it with other people. Like if you want
more of something or you want to enhance something
in your relationship. enhance it first together.
And then and then once you've been like, OK,
I'm comfortable like this is fun, like us doing
it together. Maybe it would be more fun if somebody
you know what I mean? Like you have to bring
whatever you're looking for. You have to bring
it first to your relationship because it's definitely
not going to fix your relationship. Whatever
is for sure. So one thing I've seen in all those
groups I was talking about is More often than
not, it's a guy that typically initiates. I mean,
it definitely goes both ways, but it seems to
be more the guy. The guy typically thinks this
is going to open up a whole new world of sex
to him. And what he doesn't realize... Is that
the the woman typically is gonna get much more
attention. Yeah, and a lot of times the guys
aren't ready for that. Yeah, so We always say
swinging is like such a woman's world. It is
like we make the rules we decide you know, yeah
the situations like who is mostly decided by
the women and like it's very much like female
-dominated kind of like mm -hmm so So you have
to kind of like going back to the the why you
have to figure out what your approach is and
It could be you know There's a lot of scenarios
where it's a hot wife thing where you want to
see Your wife with men other men you want to
watch her you want to do this you want to do
that? It's you that just want to you know, get
out there and do that that could work as well
But everybody in the the dynamic has to understand
what is going on. Yeah, so one of the things
I will say not to do is to Dive into this world
by yourself for an extended period of time and
then bring it to your your wife or your your
girlfriend or whatever it is because See a lot
of this in our groups is some guy will post.
Hey me and my wife Are you know, we're a couple
from Alabama and you know, blah blah blah How
can I convince and they'll post a picture and
be like how can I convince my wife to be in the
lifestyle? It's like bro. You've already made
like three big errors Hey more you're posting
you're posting in a group. No community pictures.
No communication. Your wife has no idea what's
going on and How can I convince? It should not
be a convince. Yeah, it has to be a very much
agreed upon mutual We're going in together on
this journey Yeah, because if if if you guys
aren't both on the same page or at least in that
within the same book Yeah, it's gonna get ugly
quick fast there's going to be resentment because
even when you are in the same book it it gets
initially i mean at least in our experience it
can get messy oh yeah like people make mistakes
boundaries get crossed things happen that you
didn't know were gonna happen um you're going
to have feelings that you didn't know you were
going to have, like, and they can creep up on
you. Like one scenario with somebody can be 100
percent fine. You're like, that was the best
night we've ever had. And then it can be a very
similar scenario. But with somebody else and
all of a sudden it's like other feelings creep
up or whatever, or you're just not feeling a
certain like it's I mean, the human emotions
are so, you know. Vast and just like unpredictable
that it's very much like even if you're in the
same book It's you can still get off the same
page. And so if you're not even in the same book
Like yeah, your starting point is already like
you're fucked And not in a good way and you're
gonna experience it not in the way that makes
me want to call you daddy Exactly And you're
gonna expect to experience Like you said all
all different levels of emotion from jealousy
and more often than not jealousy is is kind of
more of an envy thing a lot of times because
You like you said you could both be in one situation
and if one person is getting more attention Then
the other person get can get jealous, you know
quote unquote, but it's more of an envy Whereas
if you were both equally doing the same thing
equally that jealousy would be a different feeling
So there's there's a lot of things to you know,
think about prepare yourself for that but I think
Like the way I would I would suggest it the way
we kind of you and I Kind of got into it which
seemed to work and what seems to work for a lot
of people is I definitely I started listening
a podcast before you Yeah, I wasn't in groups
and I wasn't on web pages and I wasn't posted
on my space and I wasn't I Wasn't interacting
with people. Yeah, I knew better Like I'm not
like no, this is very much. It was an informational
dive for me and then once once I've started diving
into it and I kind of wrap my head around it.
That's when I brought it to you. It was like
hey Let's talk about this Listen to this podcast.
It was called the sweet side of life At that
time it was a diary swingers diary Swingers diaries,
which they are defunct. They are no longer around
but they were a very good intro podcast. Mm -hmm.
They were and You and I started listening We
were trying to listen to the same ones on the
same day so we could kind of compare notes Yeah
at the end of the day or we would send text throughout
the day like oh that was pretty oh I haven't
gotten there yet and spoiler alert, you know,
yeah and It very much became a a couple thing
a journey. Yeah together and then That in my
opinion was damn near perfect like how we kind
of went in together. Yeah But some of these,
some of these people that I'm seeing, they're
like, they're in it and they're posting pictures
and yeah, that's going to be a mess. And then
they're asking, how do I convince? And 99 % of
the people in the chat are like, dude, leave
this chat, get out of this chat room. This chat
room doesn't exist to you start over. So I would
say like what we were saying from the get -go
is if don't use the word convince, that is a
very, um, almost a forceful way of get on my
mind. Yeah, get on my level. No, we don't want
to convince anybody. Yeah, it should be 100 %
like everybody's on the same page and convincing
somebody. You never know if they just did it
because you forced them to do it or if they did
it and it'll end terribly. That's going to be
messy. So I think the keys are stabilize your
relationship. Yeah. If you're doing this because
you're rocky, don't do it because you're rocky.
Figure out your relationship first because A,
nobody else wants to deal with your drama. No.
There are plenty of great people within the communities
that are there for support. And at some point,
everybody's going to run into problems. Yeah.
And those people which will become your friends
will be there to support you during that time.
But you just got to make sure your initial intro
to the communities and stuff is not drama, not
drama, a very honest approach within your relationship.
And on the same level. So yeah. So if you're
hard to give advice on this whole thing, I can't
give like straight personal, I can just very
vague. Yeah, because I've been everybody's journey
is different. I even if you want to send me more
of your more of your info, like more more your
backstory, maybe we can kind of give you a little
more. And I was gonna say send a picture of your
wife. Exactly. That completely is opposite of
what we were just saying. But yeah, just saying.
Then, you know, maybe we can tell. You can also
use this part. I mean, but I would like to know
kind of their backstory, but you can also use
this podcast to like he could say, hey, I came
across this podcast. This couple has an interesting,
you know, lifestyle that they live and it's intriguing.
And I mean, you can always use other people because
it's safe. um to say like you're not necessarily
saying i want to do it but you're like it's intriguing
it's stumbled across this it's fun to listen
to you know you should listen to it and then
that kind of opens the door for conversation
um i mean like i said it's different because
you you're you opened it up by saying like you
know Well, obviously you said you kind of I mean
you already knew like I was open to more sexual
stuff because of what we had done when we were
dating but That still could have gone sideways
because we had a long different journey between
that time I think I pretty much did it the perfect
way Tell me more. Tell me more how perfect you
are. Well, it all started back in. No, I think
I mean, I think I've for the most part followed
my advice, because the other thing I was going
to say is one of the keys is is a lot of a lot
of this starts with fans fantasies. Yeah. So
fantasies can be derived from like your personal
fantasies they can be derived from porn they
could be derived from you know whatever the case
may be um but in our our case and which i think
is happens with a lot of people is you know i
i was asking you like have you ever thought about
dot dot dot like second another dick or whatever
the case was be and you kind of like insert that
thought there and you kind of create that that
fantasy Actually, I know this is how Carl or
son autumn Kind of got into she like right when
she was like really hot. He would say something
like oh What would you do if there was like another
guy right here? And she's like I'd suck his dick
while you're banging me and then he's like she's
like And then he's like well, I can get a guy
over and she's like what no So you kind of you
like you kind of start with stuff like that and
then you just kind of get the mind going and
you get the ideas in there and it's like a worm,
you know, it kind of goes into your brain and
and In the heat of the moment, you know, it's
fun to talk about yeah and then the other thing
to do is to also kind of gauge where the your
partner's at is to watch porn together and Comment
on the porn that you're watching Like comment.
Oh, you know, I really like her breasts or look
at her ass or look at his dick or whatever, you
know stuff like that to get to the point where
You you can kind of gauge where the other partner's
at Yeah, like if if it doesn't bother him or
her that you're looking at another person sexually
that that kind of works the situation and because
I mean If you're sitting there watching a porn
And you say, oh, I like the way her ass looks
or the way her tits look and she or he gets mad.
Yeah, like we're not there yet. You are not there
because trust in a room that is not going to.
Yeah, they probably don't. And the person probably
doesn't feel secure. Yeah. And so that's where
I said, like, build, build him or her up. Yeah.
Make sure you're building your, you know, spouse
or significant other up. In a way that like they
feel secure. So if you both feel secure then
making little comments about somebody they're
never likely to meet or yeah, you know, like
is not gonna shouldn't cause like trauma or like
them to be so upset about it because a lot of
the I don't know. I I guess I mean obviously
we have a different way of thinking but I think
a lot of the that stuff just comes from insecurity.
Like, oh, you saying that means that they're
better than I am. Yeah. But realistically, it's
like, why can't we? You can both coexist. Yeah.
Can't we all just get along? Like, why can't
you enjoy that ass, but also enjoy my ass? Exactly.
You know what I mean? That's exactly where it
is. It's not just one. Yeah. It's just this is
like this is yours. This is mine, whatever. And
then you add sprinkles. Yeah. And I mean, it's
a very basic way of thinking, but it's a tough
way of thinking too, because you have to feel
you have to know that like, to like, for you
to me or whatever that I'm more than just an
ass, whereas that's just an ass. You're also
a great person. I have a great personality attached
to my ass. So it's again, it goes back to being
secure in your relationship and feeling confident
in it. And understanding that like, just because
somebody looks at an ass doesn't mean they're
leaving you tomorrow for that ass. It's like,
that's not likely, you know, exactly. And then
you take those lessons that you're watching them,
the fantasy talk, and then you got the porn watching.
And if you succeed, you can't watch porn together.
You definitely can't do this because I mean,
it's live porn. It's live. And yeah, if in the
lifestyle, it's live porn. I don't I don't want
to I don't want to participate. Like I don't
want to put a definite like there's no way. But
you have a lot more to work through. It's going
to be tough. Yeah. You have a lot. You have a
longer way to go. Yeah. Yeah. It's a long way
to the top. If you want to rock and roll and
quote Jack Black. But. No, actually that was
a CDC. All right. Well in in the school of rock
it was Jack Flack. It was yeah That's true. I
Agress like a motherfucker So yeah kind of using
those lessons to go with the porn and then and
then the other thing is to ask your partner I
wouldn't say do this while you're sitting in
the drive through at Jack in the Box, but while
you're in the moment, while you're having relations,
inquire about her past or his past sexual activity.
Like what they liked or what they've done. Describe
situations they've been in. Again, if that drives
you crazy with jealousy, then take a step back.
Yeah. And then work on other things and then
try that again. Because if you can't have some
level of enjoyment with that, I don't see progressively
moving forward. Yeah, it's going to be hard to
then see them actually performing those sexual
favors on somebody else. Exactly. You can't even
talk about it. So there's there's so many levels
to it, but it's it's steps. It's all about steps.
Yeah. And I mean, some people literally just
go out and they just jump right in, jump right
in and they have a fast text and it works and
it works for them. But I would say that's probably
very few. And and and I would say people say
that's what they did. But there had to have been
some sort of like Something before that because
I don't even understand how you would literally
just go to like go from like not talking about
Anything not having any conversations about other
people not having any Dialogue and literally
just one day like oh, we're gonna go like we're
just randomly fucking this other couple like
that just It's there was probably some sort of
They probably had a threesome when they first
got there, right? I feel like there had to have
been and maybe I'm wrong But maybe not like a
full like you're never wrong. Maybe not like
a I know maybe not like a full conversation about
it, but there are both freaks or so there's yes
something but That is not typical. No, so the
thing about the thing about the getting into
the LS and and you know talking to your your
mate about it is take steps, take baby steps.
Everybody's different, but take steps. And the
biggest thing they say is to go as slow as the
slowest person. Because there's always a gas
and a brake. And, you know, the gas wants to
move to the next level and the brakes like holding
back like, you know. And it can change in different
like dynamics. For the most part, I've always
been the brake. but some situations You like
you you open up the engine you like push them
You've always been the breaker. You've always
been the gas. I'm normally the gases. Yeah, I
said the other way. Yeah, normally I Normally
I'm the gas But not I don't over gas it Um, but
yeah, there's sometimes you surprise me and I'm
like what shit? Yeah, and then you have to put
the break. I'm like break hold up but um So,
yeah, you know, take it steps. There's some people
that it takes years to get to the point where
they can go to a party. Yeah. Some people are
a couple of months. You know, everybody's different.
The other thing we did as this isn't really how
to get your spouse into it, I guess, but more
like a slow slide into it as we tech like we
texted guys. And. Like three like three -way
texted like he'd be on the text. I'd be on the
text and a guy would be on the text. Oh We played
around with reddit for a little bit Yeah, and
then you would like we would send pictures or
they would be flirting and like we'd all like
there was kind of like this Almost like a digital
threesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that that again
that forces you to like look at your boundaries
and get comfortable with being uncomfortable
almost like there's some things that you know
would come across your screen and you're like
yeah okay yeah and you kind of have to you know
you know suck it in yeah not suck it in but chew
on it for a bit no chew on it ingest it no don't
adjust it so yeah but everybody's different so
the biggest thing is communication Get on the
same page Introduced into our podcast Have her
send me pictures Yeah, and then just kind of
go from there and then You're gonna you're gonna
you're gonna hit many consent consent Make sure
she's consenting before you're putting her pictures
on. Yes Don't yeah for everybody that for everybody
that does that in the chats man. Come on Your
wife has got to know that you're posting pictures
and you're playing these games Yeah, I if that
role was reversed and I got blindsided and I
found like that you Were like part of all these
groups and that's how you introduced me To the
idea. You're just like hey already deceitful.
Yeah, it's already deceitful and you know honesty
is one of the biggest things, you know, in the
LS. So if you're starting on that, like pull
back, leave the groups, leave the group right
now, kill your, you know, kill your screen name,
pull back, drop back the truck up, get her in
the passenger seat. And, you know, take the drive
together because that's the only real good way
to do it. And even if you do it all the right
ways you are still gonna hit speed bumps mm -hmm
and there's gonna be sometimes the tires come
off and you have to get out you got to change
the tire and Just be ready for it because it's
a it's a bumpy ride, but it's a hell of a ride.
It's very fun Super fun. So there's there's a
lot more we could go into right now But I just
really I just kind of wanted to touch just touch
the subject tonight because Just feel like we
need to do a few more informational kind of You
know share our wealth of knowledge amongst the
peasants But that we're gonna close this up here
pretty soon, but before we do that We have some
things coming up ladies and gentlemen So today
is April 17th Hopefully you did your taxes. Oh
shit Oops So that was a yawn that was a yawn
see I stopped talking and then I'm like my battery
went So April 25th, it's a Friday Friday April
25th There is a organization out here in Southern
California called say less productions It's an
organization. It's a nonprofit And they're getting
their tax break exactly it's a community they're
on Cassidy you can find them on say less productions
They're holding one of their monthly meeting
greets at a bar in Murrieta called the Cove bar
and girl Is it the bar and girl? I think it's
definitely the Cove. I'm not sure about the bar
and girl part Anyways, we're gonna be there.
We shall we are gonna be there both you and I
you and I both By Sam and Cole. Yes, Sarah and
Cole say less productions and we're gonna be
hanging out there all night long if you're lucky
You can touch my crotch That goes to the ladies
not the gentleman part of the ladies and gentlemen
and then after that we have a Memorial Day weekend
We're not sure we're not sure exactly what we're
doing But I would say 99 % we're gonna end up
in Vegas Yeah with looking that way with some
friends of ours. You guys have heard on the Michigan
couple We did a interview with them Tom and Liz.
They're probably gonna be joining us We're gonna
be doing like whispers pool parties. We might
head over to flirts LV We don't have everything
nailed down yet, but as soon as we do, we will
send out all the information and we'd love for
you guys to join us if you're out there. Join
our community on Cassidy and we always post what
we're doing. Well, you always post. I've not
been the best. Oh, oh. And then you're giving
me shit about TikTok. Yeah. Speaking of tiktok,
which I don't even have all the pictures from
secrets I went to go do a tiktok on that and
then I was like I have like four pictures You
never sent me the one I sent you everything.
No, you didn't send me the ones Carlos took I
don't have the ones inside the club. Whatever,
bro. Whatever So we got that that's a big trip
coming up and then we got some more information
as I'm sure you heard EDR exotic dreams resorts
in Palm Springs. We read them the riot act and
guess what? They're reopening. So I said they
were dead to me and I'm willing to forgive because
as of July 1st, they apparently are coming back
and they're going to be back to clothing optional.
I think they've seen the error of their ways.
i'm like the the they're like the abusive boyfriend
and we keep going i just keep going back to them
and just i just let them treat treatment like
crap but they said they're remodeling so we'll
see if we can get some tiles on the fucking floor
i would love some tiles but here's the thing
about adr is there there is a guy there is a
gentleman i don't know his last name i just know
him as don don is a fairly big name in the Ellis
community out here in all the different Ellis
resorts and whatnot. He tends to kind of jump
around and he fixes things up and then he gets
things going then he just kind of moves around
but he's fairly well known. Don was in and out
at EDR but Don is back. Guess who's back? Don
is back. Back again. So I think Don We're wearing
like a big D on his on his shirt like a superhero.
Yeah Don And my goal is that he's turning EDR
Into the resort that we all deserve. Yeah So
I actually was texting with EDR earlier in the
week and I requested a podcast interview with
Don. Oh you did Yes, and they said he will be
in this weekend. So I am gonna try to give him
a call and See it here at some point if we can
do like a FaceTime interview here on the podcast
because the thing about the LS community is They're
they're they're very big big hearts and very
close -knit community, but we don't like to be
burned No, and there are a lot of very upset
people out there about how EDR handled everything
handled everything and I really hope that Don
and EDR can turn things around and get it back
to where it used to be, because it used to be
the place to go for summer parties. So my goal
is to get Don on here and interview him and then,
you know, see what his ideas are. And hopefully
together we can turn this around. And I'd love
to put EDR back on our schedule. My goal is July
12th, they're having a foam party. That weekend
my goal If I'm able to make it the biggest party
is yes If I can get that interview and we can
you know get enough people to kind of give them
a chance I want to make that a fucking party.
Yeah, I want to make that a sweet side of life
Blast just have a good time You know do the helicopter
So that's my goal We'll see we'll see my skills
solid gold goal So we'll see if that works out.
But um, yeah, so look for that in the next couple
weeks Hopefully I can get Don on the phone and
we can yeah, have a good time with Don Diggity
Don what he has to say. I Want to hear it? I
know there I took all of our I don't know about
all I took a lot of our EDR tick tocks down I
said fuck you. I'm not promoting you if you're
not gonna be clothing optional and lifestyle
Friendly, yeah dead to me and I can't put those
tic -tacs back up So, yeah She obviously you
can tell she she feels a certain type of way
and I do as well, but I I don't hold grudges
So I'm hoping that we're gonna have to come groveling
If they want my heart and money We'll be back.
I'm going to have to see how well they've remodeled
these rooms before I agree to anything. So basically
if you go to edrhotel .com, you can kind of see
what their remodel schedule is. And they're supposedly
kind of in the remodel phase right now. The last
email I got from them, they said they got their
permits and they're starting to remodel and it
says they're doing all the different blocks of
rooms and they're all set to be done by July
1st, which is their reopening date. So we'll
see. I'm hopeful because I really did enjoy that
place. There's a lot of great memories there
and I'm looking forward to creating many more.
So yeah, on that note, I think we're going to
go ahead and call it and we're going to see you
the next one on the next podcast we will see
we don't see anybody we will see you live on
the next podcast take it away on the next one
okay trying to trick you so that you'd say whatever
you're gonna say that I could say okay When enjoying
the sweet side of life keep your pineapples upside
down believe in unicorns and keep shaking it
up. Love you, baby Love you too Stay sexy If
you would like to get in contact with us, please
email us at the sweet side of life podcast at
outlook .com Or you can always find us on any
one of our socials that are listed in the podcast
links