And on the last week of camp, she called me,
had me come over for our last one on one. And
she said something to me that changed the rest
of my life. She said, Jamie, you have the most
beautiful eyes I've ever seen, but there's such
darkness in them. And so I could not have told
you what happened in that moment, but it was
like obedience to God. and her willingness to
speak so honestly to me literally unlocked 10
years of abuse from my life. And from that point
forward, it was like something literally changed
in my mind. Hey there, welcome to the God's Guinness
Podcast. We are your hosts, Josh and Shelly Hankins,
and we're here to share real stories of God's
power, stories of hope, healing, and miracles
that will strengthen your faith. No matter what
you're walking through, we want to remind you
that God is good and he's still moving today.
Let's dive in. There are women sitting in church
pews raising kids. running companies who are
silently bleeding from wounds no one can see,
trauma, abuse, shame, that kind that doesn't
go away with time or tidy Bible verses. But what
if that silence could be shattered, not by more
noise, but by a warrior who's lived it? What
if healing was less about fixing yourself and
more about letting God walk you through the rubble?
Enter Jamie Sheffield. She's not here to give
you a checklist. She's here to hand you a sword,
show you the scars she never thought she'd survive,
and walk beside you on the battlefield of healing.
Jamie's the founder of the Jericho mission, and
she's proof that even the most shattered stories
can be rebuilt brick by brick with the breath
of God behind every one. Today, we're going there,
into the pain, into the silence, into the places
we've been told to keep hidden. Because your
healing isn't just possible, it's your birthright.
So lean in. Jamie, welcome. Before we dive in,
would you open our time together in prayer? Absolutely,
I would love to. God, we just come to you today
and we're thankful for the opportunity to have
this conversation. and we just ask that all of
the ears that hear it would be blessed by God
and we ask that you just guide our words where
they need to go to bring you honor and glory
today. We thank you that we can have conversations
about hard things and that through you good can
come from it, God. So we just we give you all
the honor, the praise, and the glory and we pray
all of this in your name. Amen. Amen. Thank you
for that. Let's start right at the heart of it.
You often say healing isn't a straight line,
it's a holy journey. For someone listening right
now who feels like their life is shattered, who's
sitting in silence with trauma or shame, what
was your first real moment of hope? That moment
you realized God wasn't just watching from afar,
but was actually reaching down, ready to rebuild
you brick by brick. So my moment started before
I knew I needed it. So I had some abuse in my
life as a child. And when you have abuse, especially
sexual abuse in your life from an early age,
you often don't recognize it as abuse. And so
it's just a part of your life. And so I went
through my whole childhood, adolescence, teenage
years, not really ever feeling or knowing that
I was suffering from abuse. So I started to have
some mental health issues, depression, different
issues that I was going through. I'd go off to
college and those issues persist and continue.
And I ended up transferring to Shippensburg University
and one of the first people, you know how like
when you get to campus, you have somebody walk
you around and show you the way around. She ended
up being a Christian. And she got me hooked up
with Fellowship of Christian Athletes. And I
started going. We went every week. And one week,
they were offering free t -shirts. And all you
had to do was sign the clipboard. And I swear
to this day, I signed that clipboard for a free
t -shirt. Well, a month later, there was a guy
who showed up. and told me, hey, I'm here to
do your interview. You signed up to work at camp.
And I'm like, no, sir. I don't know what you're
talking about. And he said, well, I've got this
paper right here with your name on it. Is that
your signature? And I said, yes, it is. But I'm
pretty sure I signed up for a free t -shirt.
Wow. Yes. And so I told him no four or five times
and he looked at me and said, Jamie, I really
think God wants you to work at this camp. It
was a Christian sports camp. And so I was like,
all right, I mean, I guess I'll go. If you need
people and I signed up, maybe. Right. It was
the funniest thing. And like to this day, I joke
and say I never did get a t -shirt. What happened,
though, is his wife, Anna, ended up being my
mentor for the summer while I was there. And
on the last week of camp, she called me, had
me come over for our last one on one. And she
said something to me that changed the rest of
my life. She said, Jamie, you have the most beautiful
eyes I've ever seen, but there's such darkness
in them. And so. I could not have told you what
happened in that moment, but it was like her
obedience to God and her willingness to speak
so honestly to me literally unlocked 10 years
of abuse from my life. Wow. And from that point
forward, it was like something literally changed
in my mind. So we'll get into that later. But
so like think about how long transferring to
a college, the first person I meet, signing the
wrong clipboard, everything. How much effort
did God put into putting me and getting me in
front of Anna so she can say this to me? Yeah.
And even then, she still had to be bold enough
to say it when he gave it to her. Yeah, obedience.
Yes, and so God really chased me down, I always
say, because I did not want to be there. I did
not think I should be there. And my heart was
not necessarily chasing after him at that time.
But that moment forever changed the trajectory
of my life. And so for people, like you said,
sitting with their trauma or their shame, looking
for some hope, one, even if you're not looking
for it, God will send it to you. And two, if
you are looking for it, he is the best place
to go. Because through his power and authority,
he can unlock things inside of you. He can change
your mind, change your heart. He is, in my opinion,
the only way to find full and complete healing
from these things. For sure. I mean, you hear
therapy outside, but I don't think anything has
ever been effective. Even NA and alcohol economics,
they always use a spirit -based. And so there
is obviously some truth of God being able to
set us free where no one else can succeed. Yeah.
Yes, very much. It is interesting that the world
has removed God from so much, and yet a lot of
those programs, specifically the 12 -step programs,
Now, they won't call it God or spirituality,
but they all include some form of a higher power
that you acknowledge to help you through this
process. being in the mental health field that
the reason for that is because the outcomes with
a higher power aka for us it's god with a higher
power and god involved the outcomes increase
significantly for relapse goes down i i mean
people whole heal in a whole way for much longer
and their lives are greatly improved. The evidence
is just so strong for that and so, you know,
we already know that but to have actual evidence
pointing us to it is always nice as well. One
thing I just noticed, I've been working my way
through the Prayer of Freedom book and one thing
he mentions is God wants us, which the Bible
says, God wants us to be more Christ -like and
be more made in His image. And those 12 -step
programs, they walk you through repentance and
fixing old relationships if they can be and repenting
of your sins in so many ways or less. And so,
you know, when you get to the heart of it and
get to the truth and the love of Christ, then
it makes you more whole and complete and healed.
Yeah, I think that The world is actually desperately
hungry for God. They just don't know it. Yeah
Yeah, when they were still secular we were we
were fighting chasing something but we didn't
realize it was Jesus right that we needed exactly
Because everyone's chasing something and what
they don't realize is that something for everyone
boils down to a hole in their heart and the The
only thing that can really fill it, that can
really heal them, that can really make them feel
like their life has purpose and meaning is God.
Right. John Gordon mentioned in his one book,
or I don't know if his book, but he says, you
have a whole H -O -L -E and Jesus is the one
who makes it W -H -O -L -E. He's the one that
fills it. I like that. Yeah. Now, if you don't
mind, you said something there a minute ago that
kind of segues directly into the topic of my
book, is that we are called as Christians to
carry the image of God and to grow in His image
and His character and to reflect that back to
the world. And so that actually, that premise
is what kind of led me to where I am today. Wow.
So if you don't... That worked out great, didn't
it? The Holy Spirit does lead in the way. Let's
keep going. Yeah. So, you know, I was sitting
in church one day, and I'll be honest, I was
a little bored. The sermon was kind of lacking,
not really going anywhere, not a lot of substance.
and I was kind of struggling to pay attention
and I started to look around the room and our
church at the time was not that big and I saw
about 50 % if not more of the people sitting
in the congregation playing on their phones.
And it really, like, I was frustrated that I
was having a hard time paying attention, but
when I looked around and saw how many other people
were not invested in the sermon, it kind of hurt
my heart a little bit. Yeah, it irritated your
spirit. It did, yes. I get that. You know, I
get excited to hear a good sermon. I get excited
to hear God's word in a new way or to have that
light bulb moment or to learn a new verse, whatever
it is. But, you know, I think the number one
complaint that I hear from family, from friends,
from other Christians, from just most people
right now is that they're either frustrated by
the church or not even attending church anymore.
But They're still hungry for God and they still
desire to find a church. And so I had to ask
myself a question like, what the heck is going
on? I will say I have been in the past critical
and had like a complaining spirit. So, you know,
when I took this to God, I jokingly say I was
talking to him, but really I was like, God, what's
wrong with the church? You know, he's very gracious
with me. And he said something to me that I did
not expect him to. You know, what I wanted him
to say is, ah, you're right. The church is failing.
Pastors are awful. You know, people are so bad
and you're right. But what he said to me was,
why are you complaining about it? If you can
see what's wrong, just fill the gap. Go ahead
and do what they aren't doing. And that was it.
That was like his initial call to me to what
I say is to fill the gap. So. the church focuses
more on reaching lost people and to a degree
churches now focus a lot on church planting and
those are both very worthwhile good causes but
my question is who's feeding the believers where
are they going for discipleship and mentorship
and in the bible it says to pray with your elders
when you're sick or have a problem i don't know
if my church or my pastor would even want me
to call him in that situation. Or wouldn't call
you back if you did. Right. You know who is it
that's empowering us as Christians and I know
to a degree we're responsible for that ourselves
but you know when you're a baby Christian the
church is supposed to be there for you. So you
know God really challenged me with my own experience
of abuse and mental health struggles and you
deal with the anger and shame and then you're
trying to find your identity and your purpose.
It's a whole process. And he said, Jamie, every
Christian is actually walking through something,
but the process for everyone is the same. You
know because the devil uses the same whispers
the same lies the same schemes He does not have
a huge bag of tricks. He's using the same things
against all of us Because he's weak and he's
a little and he's you know, not creative, right?
Like he only has so many tools and so many weapons
to use against us and God really challenged me
like What you've been through, the journey you
walked on is the same journey many Christians
walk on, whether it's sexual abuse or healing
from or not. It could be domestic abuse. It could
be grief for losing a spouse. It could be, you
know, any number of things. And so when I wrote
my book, Becoming an Everyday Warrior, I wrote
it from an educational lens of... What do we
need to know as Christians to fight the devil
better? And I always laugh and say when I started
writing the book I wanted to write a different
book and I started writing another book and Two
chapters in the Lord kind of gently corrected
me and said hey, this isn't the right one So
this is the book God knew we needed, not the
one I wanted to write. It talks about the armor
of God. And one thing I learned is that had I
had the armor of God on me, if I would have known
what it was or how to use it, I could have started
using it a lot sooner. And when I first started,
I could not have even told you how many pieces
of armor there were, what they were called, what
they were, where they were found in the Bible.
And I had been a Christian for 15 years at this
point. And so the Lord just really challenged
me to create educational resources for Christians
to help us battle the enemy better. And that
means knowing who we fight. knowing why we're
fighting, and having the tools to fight God's
way. I love it. Romans 8 .28 did that stuff and
turned that pain into purpose, and now you can
help others with clarity and focus. Yes, and
that's the end goal. You know, we have to heal
and find our identity in Christ. The next step
is speaking our testimony. Like, the culture
tells us we should speak our truth, but God tells
us we should speak our testimony. And that our
words, when we speak out about some of the bad
things that have happened to us and the way we
have overcome them, it's one of the ways we defeat
the devil. Because we can't, it's like we come
out of that bondage and shame. is a chain and
guilt is a chain. And what if I speak out about,
you know, my sexual abuse and my abuser hears
it? Oh, well, you know, there are just some things
that we have to speak about to break those chains
and those strongholds that the devil has on us.
Mm -hmm. Bringing it to the light. And then don't
be ashamed because God will work it for your
good. Correct. Correct. And when we lean into
him and we allow him into the situation, it doesn't
just benefit us. And this is something that took
me a little while to grasp. My story does not
give me power. It gives somebody else power who's
going through the same thing. And so when that
verse says that God will use all things for the
good of those who love him and who are called
according to his purposes, that includes me telling
the story, but it includes those who hear it
and learn how to come out of their own pit as
well. Excellent. I love it. I wasn't expecting
this. A four -day headache had me desperate.
Then my coach said, you need one of these patches.
She was right. LifeWave's X39 patches use light,
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stories we're hearing sound like God's hand is
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maybe it's part of the answer. Tap the LifeWave
link in our About section to learn more. Now,
back to more of God's goodness. How hard was
it for you to reconcile once you discovered or
rediscovered the abuse? How hard was it for you
to reconcile with God that he had let that happen?
I know a lot of Christians or a lot of non -Christians
like to attack God and say why would he do this
to children? Why would he do some certain things?
I want to know what your interpretation is as
a Christian woman. Okay, I'm gonna give you two
perspectives. One... the first 15 years and to
the last 10. So at first, I was very angry with
God. And that's the exact question I asked is,
why did you let this happen to me? And I did
not understand. I was struggling with the realization.
When Anna said what she said to me, it unlocked
a lot of images in my mind all of a sudden. And
so I truly felt for the next 10 years like I
was living somebody else's life. I had so many
things come to my memory and I was very angry.
I was very angry in life. You know, I was struggling
in a lot of ways with relationships and my family.
I just I was very angry. And what happened to
make a long story short is I ended up getting
pregnant. The father and I got married and four
years into our marriage after multiple affairs
and another child, I took both of my kids and
I left. And my friends at the time were campus
ministers at Juniata College. And so they were
renting this huge, massive house that a church
had. And they were like, Jamie, we're two people.
Why don't you bring the girls and come live with
us? And what happened is I was there for eight
months. But they had a bookshelf. Now, mind you,
I'm not working. I had no bills. I had a car.
But like my mom was sending me money weekly for
food and groceries and things like that. Like
I was. depressed. I was angry. I was sad. I was
hurt. I was struggling. And I had, I felt like
my life was being stolen from me. And so they
had a bookshelf that had a, I mean, 50 to a hundred
Christian books on it. The only thing I did for
that eight months was read those books. And I
think like I only read them because they were
there and available to me. But, I mean, there
were marriage books, there was one book called
Lady in Waiting, and it talked about how not
to waste your life as a single person because
there's purpose in that too. There was another
book that was like a leadership book, and it's
so crazy because what happened is through reading
those books, and again, I'm just reading them
because I have nothing else to do, but through
reading those books, my heart changed. And I
started to feel like, wait a second. I have to
find a way to forgive. I have to find a way to
get over this. Where I am right now, I cannot
stay here for the rest of my life. And so those
eight months are extremely pivotal in my life.
I learned a ton. I found God again in those books,
even the books that were marriage books. I found
God in them and I learned about my identity and
I learned about my strengths and my power and
my authority in Christ and I don't know what
it was but being 21 and responsible for two children
going through what I was going through in my
marriage I literally just cried out to God and
said you have to fix this and so I came home
After that eight months and my mom was the first
person I told of what had happened and I'm very
specific when I have these conversations because
it was somebody close to our family. I don't
say who it is. But I had to tell my mom and I
remember sitting there. For the first time saying
out loud, I had been abused. and feeling like
I was telling a lie. And so that's, you know,
we talk about milestones and pivotal moments.
I don't know if I could have had that conversation,
because in fairness, I was a little angry with
my parents, too. Like, how did they not know?
How did they let it happen as well? Not on purpose.
I think you just go through phases of anger.
And for a while, you're just mad at everyone
and everything. So those books changed my heart
enough that I could talk with my mom, and my
mom and I had not had a relationship my entire
childhood, my teenage years, and even my late
teen years into, you know... when I was pregnant
and giving birth, we did not have a good relationship.
And what's so bizarre is my first experience
with my mom that changed our relationship was
me telling her I had been abused. Because she
thought that our relationship was broken because
I didn't like her. And I thought our relationship
was broken because she didn't like me. And for
the first time we were able to look at it and
say, I think our relationship was broken because
I was broken and neither of us knew it. And somehow
that healed our relationship almost. It answered
so many questions as to why I struggled as a
child, why I didn't respond to parenting the
same way the other kids did, you know? Now you
would never know that my mom and I for the first
20 years of my life did not get along Wow, you
would never know that God has fully restored
that relationship and Not to make light of it
But Mackenzie always says that my oldest daughter
that she's responsible for that because my mom
fell in love with her But she did you know she
fell in love with being a grandma we found common
ground again. She got to help me raise the kids
a little bit in those first few years and I got
to go through the next couple years healing just
me and God. I still did not share this with a
lot of other people but each one of these things
healed my heart and my spirit just a little bit
more because now When I did go through healing
and would have hard days, my mom was there for
me. You know, I could talk to her about some
of these things. And there wasn't this distance
or this tension between us. And so I was able
to dive into my relationship with Christ and
rededicate my life back to Him. I started reading
more books. Listening to more sermons. I found
some pastors that I really liked online. It was
bright, you know early 2010 to 12 now where pastors
were starting to live stream things a little
more And you could catch some things consistently
weekly so I really just This is where I would
say the phase of establishing my own identity
in Christ Okay, I was broken. My relationships
were broken. My marriage was broken. But I didn't
have to stay in that broken place. And so one
by one, I healed my heart. I healed my relationships.
And then I healed my relationship with God. And
it was like, he just propelled me forward. Now,
mind you, I'm in a season now where I've forgiven
people. I've healed a lot of things in my life.
I'm not necessarily talking about the abuse anymore
I'm focusing on myself and God at the moment
and So I would say it was about another five
years. So 2017 2018 and God really just started
to nudge me that I needed to share my story and
I was like, no, I'm not ready to do that. Thanks.
Thanks for asking. And so it was interesting,
though, because he's very gentle. You know, he
would bring other people into my life that had
experienced abuse and they would talk to me about
it. And I would be like, I can pray with them
and help them. And I would. Eventually, I was
like, OK, God, I think you were right. I don't
I don't know how to say this. I don't know how
to tell the world this story, but I know that
I can help people. And so I ended up through
this really falling in love with counter human
trafficking efforts. I didn't know how to dive
right into and I didn't have the credentials
to work with kids who had been abused. And so.
I started volunteering for several organizations
that were counter trafficking. And so here in
Pittsburgh, we have five or six of them and I
was able to get involved. And so before I was
ready to tell my story, I was able to listen
to their stories and to pour into them and help
some of these organizations fundraise. I don't
remember who it was, but he said during one of
his sermons If you aren't where you want to be
yet, and you're not like you can't get there
yet It's just it's not the right time the right
season. You don't have the finances whatever
So where you want to go? So so your time your
talents your finances whatever it is give To
the places where you feel God has called you
and so that seed before you get there So I spent
five years listening to other people's stories,
knowing I needed to tell mine. And so that's
kind of the journey I've been on. And as God
has steered my path and directed my steps, He's
really given me an opportunity not just to share
the story of what happened to me or You know
the process by which I healed but he's opened
up these amazing doors To remove anger from my
life to remove hurt from my life I don't suffer
from those images being in my mind anymore. I
have zero Emotions that come up when I tell my
story now because I it's my story. I own it.
It's not I'm not telling somebody something bad
that happened to me. I'm letting them know that
I understand what you're going through or what
you've been through and so I get it. And so where
I'm at now and where God has kind of steered
me the last 10 years is I genuinely would not
wish abuse of any kind on anyone. But I am in
the only way I can describe it is like I am so
glad that it happened to me. so that I can have
the heart that I have for the people he's called
me to serve. So I'm in my master's right now
for mental health counseling, working towards
my LPC for trauma counseling. And I wanna be
able to do counseling for survivors of sexual
abuse, incest, and sex trafficking. And so what
I know is that no book can teach people what
I know. They don't understand the emotional struggles.
They don't understand the mental capacity the
images the flashbacks The way that the devil
kind of uses all of that to tell you you're not
worthy. You're not enough You're dirty. You're
broken. You're used Nobody will want you. Nobody
will love you all of the things that he says
in those minds I've already had said to me and
so There's so much that I joke now, like I'm
going through my masters, but it doesn't even
matter. I just need the credentials to be able
to sit in the room with the right people. Not
that I'm not learning anything, but it can't
teach me anything more than I already know. And
so I am humbled in such a humbling way that God
chose me. Right because the good and the bad
both pass through God's hand the struggles that
we face are the ones he knows we can handle and
the ones he knows that we can use and sometimes
We can be angry at him we can be angry at others
we can be angry at ourselves But ultimately every
single struggle we go through is preparation
for our purpose and so I would so encourage people.
I know I'm on the other side of it. I know it's
been a 15 to 20 year journey for me. And some
people are still in those early stages and they're
still angry. But if I could say one thing to
someone in the thick of things right now is one,
nothing you go through in this life can disqualify
you from God using you. So don't believe first
and foremost the lies of the devil. And secondly,
you were made to be an overcomer more than a
conqueror. And I don't think we take this verse
seriously enough because winning the battle is
not where it stops. If we are called to be more
than a conqueror, that means that we should be
better because of our battles. And so we have
to find a way through God, through healing, through
forgiveness. Through godly character and godly
principles and this goes back to what you were
talking about of Reflecting the image of god
and living a righteous life When we take our
hurt and our sin and our shame and our guilt
and we put it in god's hands and say What can
you do with this? He will never give it back
to us as guilt shame and brokenness He will give
it back to us as a testimony training preparation
character development anything good that can
come of it is going to come through God's hand
in it. And I would just encourage people that
no matter how low it feels, how hard it feels,
if you give it to God, He will use it for your
good and for the good of others. There is no
other option. He's not a liar. And so when He
tells us to use it for good and the good of others,
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out the link in our about section. We talked
offline about how you were thinking about getting
into deliverance or studying a means to get into
it. What part do you think the demonic spirits
played in keeping you downtrodden throughout
after you knew you were abused? and you still
kind of felt low what part do you think that
they played in continuing that harming and harassing
of your life okay you are just asking such awesome
questions they're like the hard questions that
nobody asks so i have come to realize we have
two choices in life once we become a believer
especially like i i think unbelievers maybe are
not held to the same standard, but once we become
believers, we have two choices. We can, with
our thoughts, our words, our actions, our behaviors,
our attitudes, we can align them with the enemy
and his schemes or with God and his ways. And
those are our only two choices. And so what we
end up doing, because we're hurting, because
we're feeling down on ourselves is when we get
to that low place, we don't intentionally open
a door, but it opens. And what happens is the
devil does not need an invitation. He sees an
open door because he's waiting for that open
door. And he sees it often before we realize
it's wide open. And he's like, ah. See that open
door don't go over there and walk in that door
shame go over there and walk in that door Embarrassment
go over there Unworthiness in that door and he
starts sending all of those spirits our way And
we have to understand that in the spiritual realm
We have demons and spirits that are assigned
to us from birth They are in our family line
sometimes. This is why we see generational curses
of divorce or adultery or addiction because these
are generational spirits that have been put on
us. And so in the Bible, it talks about how the
sins of the father will be passed down. And this
is why it's not that like my dad did something
wrong and so I'm suffering because of his sin.
It's the spirits that are assigned to your family
passed down through the generations. So each
generation struggles. And so we have certain
things assigned to us from birth just because
the devil is the devil. And then as we start
to go through things and open doors, more come
into our life. And before you know it, you've
got 20 different spirits in your life. And you
aren't even aware of it because you feel like
your anger is justified and you feel like everything
in your life has gone wrong. I'm the victim.
This was done to me. I didn't choose this. And
so we it takes somebody freaking out to you that
we have to stop allowing this in order for us
to even close the door so nothing else can get
in and then comes the job of kicking out those
spirits one by one and there are some spirits
like the spirit of pride and the spirit of lust
that are contagious and so They can kind of hop
around in your family. Even if you start doing
better You know your spouse or your kids might
be struggling now and now you've got to kick
things out of their lives and then you also have
And again, this is the spirit of pride, but the
spirit of pride doesn't just come alone. He brings
his friends and so some spirits bring other spirits
and so this is why I I think God showed me the
picture that spiritual warfare is the first book
that I needed to write and the first story I
needed to tell because those spirits have to
bow and have to obey in the spiritual realm under
the authority of Jesus. And so I did not know
this. I don't think I've ever heard a pastor
say it. I don't think I've read it anywhere in
the Bible. It took me 20 years to realize that
I had authority over them too. And so I think
mental health issues like depression, suicidal
thoughts, even things like cutting or self -injurious
behaviors, all of those things to a degree from
some of those spirits that are present and they're
only present because you gave them that open
door with unrequited sin and and not on purpose
but yes they are there because we've allowed
them to and so one the first step is really taking
responsibility and saying okay i didn't realize
i let this happen or maybe i did realize it but
You know, I'm speaking the name of Jesus now
over these spirits, over the demonic strongholds,
over the chains, and I'm breaking them. And I'm
saying no. And so I tell this story in my book.
I wish I'd have told it slightly different, but
it is what it is. But I struggled with nightmares
for almost my whole life. Wow. It got really
bad after I had kids, and it reached a point
where every single time I closed my eyes, somebody
died. I mean, they were getting kidnapped, they
were getting raped, the house was on fire, and
I couldn't get to both of them. Like, no matter
what the nightmare was, somebody was dying in
some atrocious way. And I was so fed up. I was
struggling with insomnia now because I literally
could not sleep some nights because of these
things. And I had no idea. This is something
I learned just within the last two or three years.
I had no idea that those were being caused by
spirits. When you are constantly dreaming about
death, the spirit of death is upon you. When
you are constantly reliving childhood abuse and
childhood trauma, the spirit of shame is on you.
And there are signs and symptoms that come with
this that are sometimes mental, sometimes physical,
sometimes emotional that I did not know. I really...
But going back to my thing about the church just
is not teaching us, I've never heard a pastor
teach this. I had to read a book to learn all
of this. And so I wish, there are a thousand
things had I known I could have done different,
I could have done sooner, or I could have done
better. And once you learn it and you start walking
in authority, like from a young age, my kids
will tell you. I started praying over them and
praying over myself like the devil has no authority
in my home. He has no business being in my bed,
my mind. He can't touch my pillow. My room is
anointed. My house is protected. And I would
kick him out one by one of every room and every
space in my home. And when my youngest daughter,
Kylie, She's my feeler, my emotional one, and
when she would start to sense that something
was off with her or she would have a nightmare,
I would pray this prayer over her. And for years,
years and years and years, she would come to
me and go, Mommy, can you pray that prayer for
me, please? And that's all she'd have to say.
I knew exactly what she meant because just kicking
them out, taking authority over your home, your
space, your children, your mind. they leave they
have to because they have no authority beyond
what we give them and when we speak the name
of Jesus over them they have to flee and so back
to the original question I think that we have
downplayed their involvement and the severity
of the symptoms and well the severity of the
symptoms that they can cause I think spirits
and demonic oppression, and the spiritual nature
is 100 % at work all the time, whether we believe
in it or not, whether we know it or not, or whether
we acknowledge it or not. And so it's amazing
to me how quickly they can go when you take authority
over them. And you really, like I've heard people
say, something ran in my family until it ran
into me. I would kind of chuckle at that. I was
like, oh, OK, you're that good. You drew a line
in the sand and it was done. But it's actually
that easy. It truly is because these spirits
and demons have no choice but to obey what we
tell them to do in the name of Jesus. They are
commanded by the Holy Spirit himself to bow and
obey. And if we understood that's the authority
that we've been given, we would use it more often.
The problem is I don't think we're being taught
that authority. Right. They rely on our ignorance.
Correct. Yeah. And look, I'm not bashing the
church. I just think the church has become a
watered down version of a watered down Bible,
of a watered down truth, of a watered down God.
And I understand why it's happened. But frankly,
I'm called to speak truth and to speak it boldly.
and i can't do that in a church anymore how sad
is that well the predominant american church
is a capitalist church and it's about making
money not making hearts for christ that's just
a byproduct it's about generating revenue so
they can keep the lights on so they can reach
more people the heart's in the right place but
it turned into a money -making thing they want
to use the money the right way but it doesn't
change the heart behind it Correct and and I
do think that pastors most pastors not all do
have the right heart and they are kind of trapped
in the system of what we need money to do this
and we can't do this without people but we need
money to pay people and it does become a little
bit capitalistic but let's be honest if there's
anointing there and God is in it He is your provider.
There's nothing you can do that's gonna make
you any more money than simply doing what God
asks you to do and so I do have to be honest
like I Probably sound a little weird to some
people a little crazy to some others, but I think
spiritual warfare is the war of our day I Do
not think you're weird at all saying that I think
you're 100 % on point I just think because it's
an unseen battle that people aren't fighting
it. They think you're loony or delulu. A little
bit. And not everyone I mean there are Christians
who who are very strong in their faith who are
fighting spiritually and being prayer warriors
and being proactive But that's not your typical
Christian your typical Christian is unfortunately
a lukewarm Christian that is either poorly representing
God or completely misrepresenting God And I've
been both of those things. So I'm not being critical
of that person. I don't think it's their doing
or their fault. We're all at different parts
of our journey. Yes, correct. And the part where
my heart breaks for them is they're not going
to grow out of that by attending church because
the church isn't speaking to this issue. Right.
And so they're not discipling. They're not teaching.
They're not educating. They're not helping. They're
not empowering. They're kind of just there. And
I'll be honest, there's a lot of churches now
in the United States, even ones I've been to
in the last couple of years, that they call themselves
global churches, which means all the money that
goes into those churches anyways is, you know,
for overseas missions. Their heart is to serve
the house of God in the U .S. so that they can
touch lives overseas. And again, that is a great
cause and a great mission. But how is that meeting
the need of the people in your own church? You
know, you've got to find a way, I think, to balance
both. Because I don't know about you guys, but
I talk to more people who don't attend church
or can't find a good church more than anything
else right now in present day. It's hard to find
a good Bible teaching, spirit -led church that
is speaking to believers. Yeah. 100%. If you've
been feeling stirred but unsure how to move forward,
you're not alone. That's why I offer faith -based
coaching. Sometimes God wakes something up in
us and we just need clarity, accountability,
and a Spirit -led voice to walk with us. If that's
you right now, I'd be honored to help you take
your next step. Check out the link in our About
section to learn more. I am honored that God
would choose me, that He would call me to this.
At first I didn't feel like I had a lot to offer,
but I think now that I'm one book in and I have
some resources for people and I've had some conversations,
what I think I have to offer, and only by God's
grace, is that I've been through a lot in my
life. A lot. And I've overcome a lot in my life.
And so I understand what it takes to do some
very hard things and to heal from some very deep
wounds. And I think in today's world we have
more people walking around who have been deeply
hurt or deeply wounded who we wouldn't even know.
And so I think healing and recovery and identity
and purpose is what I have to offer. It's pretty
valuable. Yes, it is valuable and I'm honored
to do it. I'm actually, you know, now that my
first book is published and I get to talk about
it, like, I'm actually excited. I'm beyond excited,
actually. I really had to block out the devil's
lies when I first started writing the book. Like,
you're a nobody. Nobody's going to want your
book. Nobody's going to read your book. You know,
all of the things like you're not even qualified
to be writing a book. You're going to call yourself
an author. It was he really attacked my mind.
And honestly, it was hard because it caused a
lot of writers block. So I struggled in the beginning
because I felt so. inadequate and unqualified
to be writing the book. And now I'm like, oh,
I'm writing my second book and I'm so excited
and I'm going to plan a conference. And I mean,
we're going to focus on healing. We're going
to focus on becoming whole, overcoming what the
devil has done in our life so that we can use
it for what God can do through us. And I am just
really excited to speak directly to Christians
and call them higher. I know it sounds at times
like I'm being critical of the church or Christians,
but I'm not. I used to be a lukewarm Christian
and I have attended many seasons of my life at
churches that I would call lukewarm today, but
at that season they helped me. Even in a church
that can't help me where I'm at today, it still
serves the purpose in the kingdom. So I don't
want to lose sight of that. I just think that
some of us are being called to go outside the
church in order to actually be the church at
this stage of life. Awesome. You know, I really
appreciate you coming on the show today and sharing
a bit of your past, which is... even though it's
been a while, it's still a very sensitive topic.
And being able to share with that and what you've
learned with that and how you've grown through
that and how you've leaned on God, you were someone
to be admired for that. And admitting your faults
as not owing things like the armor of God after
15 years of being a Christian, you know, it takes
a lot of strength to admit what you've gone through
and what you've... believed to be true into where
you are now. I'm so very grateful that you shared
it with us. And you often said that you don't
want to call any churches out. You're not picking
on them. But honestly, if you are a church or
a person, you feel kind of called out. Maybe
you should do some reflecting. Maybe there is
something you need to look at. Maybe you need
to talk to God a little bit if you feel called
out by any of it. Yeah, I would actually agree
with that. So do you have a verse that Anchored
you through all of it or like any that's your
favorite that you want to leave the listeners
with? Yes, I will do that. I'm gonna look it
up real quick just so I get the exact wording
so when I was early on in my faith I didn't have
a lot of verses that I had memorized or that
were really anchoring me but once I truly gave
my life back to Christ and walked through some
healing and forgiveness I To my mother's dismay,
I got a tattoo. And it was a cross. I actually
designed it. It was a cross with a rose wrapped
around the cross all the way up to the top. And
I put Galatians 2 .20 under it. And that cross
signifies death and that rose signifies life.
And so Galatians 2 .20 says I have been crucified
with Christ. It is no longer I who lives but
Christ who lives inside me and the life I now
live in the flesh I live purely by faith through
the Son of God who loved me and gave himself
for me and I kid you not That verse to this day
is still my anchor Because everything that I'm
doing it's not me. It's God everything every
opportunity I have every job I get everything.
It's not me. It's God. It took me a long time
to fully submit and then even longer to fully
surrender. But like my life is His. My children
are His. My passions, my heart are His. My finances
are His. The outcomes are His. Like the only
thing I desire in my life is to live the life
He made me to live. To reach the people He made
me to reach and to do the thing He calls me to
do. outside of that I find no enjoyment. I am
like all in right now and I just want other people
to know how amazing it is to be all in. I'm on
the same boat with you two peas in a pod here.
Yeah. Well this is great. I look forward to your
book and we'll put it in the link in the show
notes so people can check it out and get in touch
with you. Perfect. All right. Well with that,
we will talk to you guys next week. You can make
donations through any of the links in the About
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us why we do this. Until next time, remember,
God is always working, miracles are real, and
your breakthrough could be just around the corner.
Keep believing, keep expecting, and don't forget
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We'll talk to you next week. you