WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.960 And on the last week of camp, she called me, 00:00:04.099 --> 00:00:07.620 had me come over for our last one on one. And 00:00:07.620 --> 00:00:11.019 she said something to me that changed the rest 00:00:11.019 --> 00:00:14.599 of my life. She said, Jamie, you have the most 00:00:14.599 --> 00:00:17.620 beautiful eyes I've ever seen, but there's such 00:00:17.620 --> 00:00:23.480 darkness in them. And so I could not have told 00:00:23.480 --> 00:00:26.000 you what happened in that moment, but it was 00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:30.210 like obedience to God. and her willingness to 00:00:30.210 --> 00:00:35.829 speak so honestly to me literally unlocked 10 00:00:35.829 --> 00:00:40.450 years of abuse from my life. And from that point 00:00:40.450 --> 00:00:43.350 forward, it was like something literally changed 00:00:43.350 --> 00:00:48.759 in my mind. Hey there, welcome to the God's Guinness 00:00:48.759 --> 00:00:52.039 Podcast. We are your hosts, Josh and Shelly Hankins, 00:00:52.060 --> 00:00:54.340 and we're here to share real stories of God's 00:00:54.340 --> 00:00:57.320 power, stories of hope, healing, and miracles 00:00:57.320 --> 00:01:00.100 that will strengthen your faith. No matter what 00:01:00.100 --> 00:01:02.060 you're walking through, we want to remind you 00:01:02.060 --> 00:01:04.359 that God is good and he's still moving today. 00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:12.560 Let's dive in. There are women sitting in church 00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:15.790 pews raising kids. running companies who are 00:01:15.790 --> 00:01:18.450 silently bleeding from wounds no one can see, 00:01:18.930 --> 00:01:22.989 trauma, abuse, shame, that kind that doesn't 00:01:22.989 --> 00:01:26.790 go away with time or tidy Bible verses. But what 00:01:26.790 --> 00:01:29.730 if that silence could be shattered, not by more 00:01:29.730 --> 00:01:33.269 noise, but by a warrior who's lived it? What 00:01:33.269 --> 00:01:36.010 if healing was less about fixing yourself and 00:01:36.010 --> 00:01:38.450 more about letting God walk you through the rubble? 00:01:38.909 --> 00:01:41.670 Enter Jamie Sheffield. She's not here to give 00:01:41.670 --> 00:01:44.489 you a checklist. She's here to hand you a sword, 00:01:44.989 --> 00:01:47.730 show you the scars she never thought she'd survive, 00:01:48.030 --> 00:01:50.670 and walk beside you on the battlefield of healing. 00:01:51.870 --> 00:01:54.290 Jamie's the founder of the Jericho mission, and 00:01:54.290 --> 00:01:56.769 she's proof that even the most shattered stories 00:01:56.769 --> 00:01:59.810 can be rebuilt brick by brick with the breath 00:01:59.810 --> 00:02:03.569 of God behind every one. Today, we're going there, 00:02:03.890 --> 00:02:07.189 into the pain, into the silence, into the places 00:02:07.189 --> 00:02:09.830 we've been told to keep hidden. Because your 00:02:09.830 --> 00:02:12.629 healing isn't just possible, it's your birthright. 00:02:13.090 --> 00:02:16.889 So lean in. Jamie, welcome. Before we dive in, 00:02:17.090 --> 00:02:20.830 would you open our time together in prayer? Absolutely, 00:02:20.889 --> 00:02:24.129 I would love to. God, we just come to you today 00:02:24.129 --> 00:02:27.169 and we're thankful for the opportunity to have 00:02:27.169 --> 00:02:31.020 this conversation. and we just ask that all of 00:02:31.020 --> 00:02:33.639 the ears that hear it would be blessed by God 00:02:33.639 --> 00:02:37.439 and we ask that you just guide our words where 00:02:37.439 --> 00:02:39.460 they need to go to bring you honor and glory 00:02:39.460 --> 00:02:43.000 today. We thank you that we can have conversations 00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:46.280 about hard things and that through you good can 00:02:46.280 --> 00:02:48.879 come from it, God. So we just we give you all 00:02:48.879 --> 00:02:50.539 the honor, the praise, and the glory and we pray 00:02:50.539 --> 00:02:54.180 all of this in your name. Amen. Amen. Thank you 00:02:54.180 --> 00:02:56.840 for that. Let's start right at the heart of it. 00:02:56.889 --> 00:02:59.710 You often say healing isn't a straight line, 00:02:59.969 --> 00:03:02.949 it's a holy journey. For someone listening right 00:03:02.949 --> 00:03:05.830 now who feels like their life is shattered, who's 00:03:05.830 --> 00:03:08.949 sitting in silence with trauma or shame, what 00:03:08.949 --> 00:03:11.729 was your first real moment of hope? That moment 00:03:11.729 --> 00:03:14.330 you realized God wasn't just watching from afar, 00:03:14.689 --> 00:03:17.530 but was actually reaching down, ready to rebuild 00:03:17.530 --> 00:03:23.430 you brick by brick. So my moment started before 00:03:23.430 --> 00:03:28.800 I knew I needed it. So I had some abuse in my 00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:33.659 life as a child. And when you have abuse, especially 00:03:33.659 --> 00:03:36.199 sexual abuse in your life from an early age, 00:03:36.259 --> 00:03:41.099 you often don't recognize it as abuse. And so 00:03:41.099 --> 00:03:43.939 it's just a part of your life. And so I went 00:03:43.939 --> 00:03:47.439 through my whole childhood, adolescence, teenage 00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:51.520 years, not really ever feeling or knowing that 00:03:51.520 --> 00:03:55.870 I was suffering from abuse. So I started to have 00:03:55.870 --> 00:03:59.210 some mental health issues, depression, different 00:03:59.210 --> 00:04:02.289 issues that I was going through. I'd go off to 00:04:02.289 --> 00:04:05.889 college and those issues persist and continue. 00:04:06.750 --> 00:04:11.009 And I ended up transferring to Shippensburg University 00:04:11.009 --> 00:04:13.610 and one of the first people, you know how like 00:04:13.610 --> 00:04:16.870 when you get to campus, you have somebody walk 00:04:16.870 --> 00:04:21.970 you around and show you the way around. She ended 00:04:21.970 --> 00:04:25.149 up being a Christian. And she got me hooked up 00:04:25.149 --> 00:04:29.089 with Fellowship of Christian Athletes. And I 00:04:29.089 --> 00:04:33.089 started going. We went every week. And one week, 00:04:33.470 --> 00:04:36.529 they were offering free t -shirts. And all you 00:04:36.529 --> 00:04:40.449 had to do was sign the clipboard. And I swear 00:04:40.449 --> 00:04:43.670 to this day, I signed that clipboard for a free 00:04:43.670 --> 00:04:48.649 t -shirt. Well, a month later, there was a guy 00:04:48.649 --> 00:04:52.829 who showed up. and told me, hey, I'm here to 00:04:52.829 --> 00:04:55.709 do your interview. You signed up to work at camp. 00:04:55.870 --> 00:05:00.430 And I'm like, no, sir. I don't know what you're 00:05:00.430 --> 00:05:03.029 talking about. And he said, well, I've got this 00:05:03.029 --> 00:05:05.730 paper right here with your name on it. Is that 00:05:05.730 --> 00:05:08.689 your signature? And I said, yes, it is. But I'm 00:05:08.689 --> 00:05:11.189 pretty sure I signed up for a free t -shirt. 00:05:11.629 --> 00:05:16.759 Wow. Yes. And so I told him no four or five times 00:05:16.759 --> 00:05:18.839 and he looked at me and said, Jamie, I really 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:20.740 think God wants you to work at this camp. It 00:05:20.740 --> 00:05:25.439 was a Christian sports camp. And so I was like, 00:05:25.500 --> 00:05:28.759 all right, I mean, I guess I'll go. If you need 00:05:28.759 --> 00:05:33.939 people and I signed up, maybe. Right. It was 00:05:33.939 --> 00:05:36.660 the funniest thing. And like to this day, I joke 00:05:36.660 --> 00:05:40.420 and say I never did get a t -shirt. What happened, 00:05:40.540 --> 00:05:43.199 though, is his wife, Anna, ended up being my 00:05:43.199 --> 00:05:46.680 mentor for the summer while I was there. And 00:05:46.680 --> 00:05:50.319 on the last week of camp, she called me, had 00:05:50.319 --> 00:05:54.120 me come over for our last one on one. And she 00:05:54.120 --> 00:05:57.420 said something to me that changed the rest of 00:05:57.420 --> 00:06:01.199 my life. She said, Jamie, you have the most beautiful 00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:04.339 eyes I've ever seen, but there's such darkness 00:06:04.339 --> 00:06:10.250 in them. And so. I could not have told you what 00:06:10.250 --> 00:06:12.709 happened in that moment, but it was like her 00:06:12.709 --> 00:06:16.670 obedience to God and her willingness to speak 00:06:16.670 --> 00:06:22.350 so honestly to me literally unlocked 10 years 00:06:22.350 --> 00:06:26.610 of abuse from my life. Wow. And from that point 00:06:26.610 --> 00:06:29.529 forward, it was like something literally changed 00:06:29.529 --> 00:06:32.790 in my mind. So we'll get into that later. But 00:06:32.790 --> 00:06:36.959 so like think about how long transferring to 00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:39.819 a college, the first person I meet, signing the 00:06:39.819 --> 00:06:43.540 wrong clipboard, everything. How much effort 00:06:43.540 --> 00:06:46.459 did God put into putting me and getting me in 00:06:46.459 --> 00:06:49.120 front of Anna so she can say this to me? Yeah. 00:06:50.040 --> 00:06:53.839 And even then, she still had to be bold enough 00:06:53.839 --> 00:06:56.360 to say it when he gave it to her. Yeah, obedience. 00:06:57.000 --> 00:07:00.600 Yes, and so God really chased me down, I always 00:07:00.600 --> 00:07:03.509 say, because I did not want to be there. I did 00:07:03.509 --> 00:07:06.509 not think I should be there. And my heart was 00:07:06.509 --> 00:07:09.689 not necessarily chasing after him at that time. 00:07:10.290 --> 00:07:14.230 But that moment forever changed the trajectory 00:07:14.230 --> 00:07:18.949 of my life. And so for people, like you said, 00:07:19.370 --> 00:07:22.170 sitting with their trauma or their shame, looking 00:07:22.170 --> 00:07:25.170 for some hope, one, even if you're not looking 00:07:25.170 --> 00:07:28.709 for it, God will send it to you. And two, if 00:07:28.709 --> 00:07:31.370 you are looking for it, he is the best place 00:07:31.370 --> 00:07:35.769 to go. Because through his power and authority, 00:07:35.870 --> 00:07:39.509 he can unlock things inside of you. He can change 00:07:39.509 --> 00:07:43.589 your mind, change your heart. He is, in my opinion, 00:07:44.050 --> 00:07:47.269 the only way to find full and complete healing 00:07:47.269 --> 00:07:54.800 from these things. For sure. I mean, you hear 00:07:54.800 --> 00:07:57.420 therapy outside, but I don't think anything has 00:07:57.420 --> 00:08:01.160 ever been effective. Even NA and alcohol economics, 00:08:01.180 --> 00:08:03.740 they always use a spirit -based. And so there 00:08:03.740 --> 00:08:06.240 is obviously some truth of God being able to 00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:09.519 set us free where no one else can succeed. Yeah. 00:08:10.560 --> 00:08:13.600 Yes, very much. It is interesting that the world 00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:17.680 has removed God from so much, and yet a lot of 00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:21.060 those programs, specifically the 12 -step programs, 00:08:21.529 --> 00:08:24.990 Now, they won't call it God or spirituality, 00:08:25.209 --> 00:08:29.089 but they all include some form of a higher power 00:08:29.089 --> 00:08:32.289 that you acknowledge to help you through this 00:08:32.289 --> 00:08:37.360 process. being in the mental health field that 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:41.899 the reason for that is because the outcomes with 00:08:41.899 --> 00:08:46.840 a higher power aka for us it's god with a higher 00:08:46.840 --> 00:08:50.539 power and god involved the outcomes increase 00:08:50.539 --> 00:08:55.340 significantly for relapse goes down i i mean 00:08:55.340 --> 00:08:59.830 people whole heal in a whole way for much longer 00:08:59.830 --> 00:09:03.889 and their lives are greatly improved. The evidence 00:09:03.889 --> 00:09:07.070 is just so strong for that and so, you know, 00:09:07.169 --> 00:09:10.730 we already know that but to have actual evidence 00:09:10.730 --> 00:09:13.730 pointing us to it is always nice as well. One 00:09:13.730 --> 00:09:16.070 thing I just noticed, I've been working my way 00:09:16.070 --> 00:09:19.649 through the Prayer of Freedom book and one thing 00:09:19.649 --> 00:09:22.110 he mentions is God wants us, which the Bible 00:09:22.110 --> 00:09:25.919 says, God wants us to be more Christ -like and 00:09:25.919 --> 00:09:29.120 be more made in His image. And those 12 -step 00:09:29.120 --> 00:09:32.059 programs, they walk you through repentance and 00:09:32.059 --> 00:09:35.580 fixing old relationships if they can be and repenting 00:09:35.580 --> 00:09:38.879 of your sins in so many ways or less. And so, 00:09:38.919 --> 00:09:40.759 you know, when you get to the heart of it and 00:09:40.759 --> 00:09:45.259 get to the truth and the love of Christ, then 00:09:45.259 --> 00:09:47.740 it makes you more whole and complete and healed. 00:09:49.440 --> 00:09:54.649 Yeah, I think that The world is actually desperately 00:09:54.649 --> 00:09:57.429 hungry for God. They just don't know it. Yeah 00:09:57.429 --> 00:09:59.789 Yeah, when they were still secular we were we 00:09:59.789 --> 00:10:01.730 were fighting chasing something but we didn't 00:10:01.730 --> 00:10:04.309 realize it was Jesus right that we needed exactly 00:10:04.309 --> 00:10:07.129 Because everyone's chasing something and what 00:10:07.129 --> 00:10:10.470 they don't realize is that something for everyone 00:10:10.470 --> 00:10:14.330 boils down to a hole in their heart and the The 00:10:14.330 --> 00:10:17.330 only thing that can really fill it, that can 00:10:17.330 --> 00:10:21.169 really heal them, that can really make them feel 00:10:21.169 --> 00:10:23.990 like their life has purpose and meaning is God. 00:10:24.750 --> 00:10:27.070 Right. John Gordon mentioned in his one book, 00:10:27.529 --> 00:10:29.649 or I don't know if his book, but he says, you 00:10:29.649 --> 00:10:33.289 have a whole H -O -L -E and Jesus is the one 00:10:33.289 --> 00:10:36.370 who makes it W -H -O -L -E. He's the one that 00:10:36.370 --> 00:10:40.470 fills it. I like that. Yeah. Now, if you don't 00:10:40.470 --> 00:10:43.289 mind, you said something there a minute ago that 00:10:43.289 --> 00:10:46.470 kind of segues directly into the topic of my 00:10:46.470 --> 00:10:53.470 book, is that we are called as Christians to 00:10:53.470 --> 00:10:59.309 carry the image of God and to grow in His image 00:10:59.309 --> 00:11:02.649 and His character and to reflect that back to 00:11:02.649 --> 00:11:07.759 the world. And so that actually, that premise 00:11:07.759 --> 00:11:13.220 is what kind of led me to where I am today. Wow. 00:11:13.220 --> 00:11:15.960 So if you don't... That worked out great, didn't 00:11:15.960 --> 00:11:17.980 it? The Holy Spirit does lead in the way. Let's 00:11:17.980 --> 00:11:23.179 keep going. Yeah. So, you know, I was sitting 00:11:23.179 --> 00:11:27.000 in church one day, and I'll be honest, I was 00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:29.799 a little bored. The sermon was kind of lacking, 00:11:30.120 --> 00:11:32.899 not really going anywhere, not a lot of substance. 00:11:33.519 --> 00:11:36.779 and I was kind of struggling to pay attention 00:11:36.779 --> 00:11:41.480 and I started to look around the room and our 00:11:41.480 --> 00:11:45.480 church at the time was not that big and I saw 00:11:45.480 --> 00:11:49.159 about 50 % if not more of the people sitting 00:11:49.159 --> 00:11:52.299 in the congregation playing on their phones. 00:11:52.909 --> 00:11:57.830 And it really, like, I was frustrated that I 00:11:57.830 --> 00:12:00.289 was having a hard time paying attention, but 00:12:00.289 --> 00:12:03.649 when I looked around and saw how many other people 00:12:03.649 --> 00:12:07.850 were not invested in the sermon, it kind of hurt 00:12:07.850 --> 00:12:09.870 my heart a little bit. Yeah, it irritated your 00:12:09.870 --> 00:12:15.220 spirit. It did, yes. I get that. You know, I 00:12:15.220 --> 00:12:18.120 get excited to hear a good sermon. I get excited 00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:20.639 to hear God's word in a new way or to have that 00:12:20.639 --> 00:12:23.980 light bulb moment or to learn a new verse, whatever 00:12:23.980 --> 00:12:27.559 it is. But, you know, I think the number one 00:12:27.559 --> 00:12:30.440 complaint that I hear from family, from friends, 00:12:30.620 --> 00:12:34.700 from other Christians, from just most people 00:12:34.700 --> 00:12:39.159 right now is that they're either frustrated by 00:12:39.159 --> 00:12:43.059 the church or not even attending church anymore. 00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:46.340 But They're still hungry for God and they still 00:12:46.340 --> 00:12:49.240 desire to find a church. And so I had to ask 00:12:49.240 --> 00:12:51.980 myself a question like, what the heck is going 00:12:51.980 --> 00:12:55.879 on? I will say I have been in the past critical 00:12:55.879 --> 00:12:59.019 and had like a complaining spirit. So, you know, 00:12:59.019 --> 00:13:02.039 when I took this to God, I jokingly say I was 00:13:02.039 --> 00:13:04.639 talking to him, but really I was like, God, what's 00:13:04.639 --> 00:13:07.600 wrong with the church? You know, he's very gracious 00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:12.259 with me. And he said something to me that I did 00:13:12.259 --> 00:13:15.059 not expect him to. You know, what I wanted him 00:13:15.059 --> 00:13:17.240 to say is, ah, you're right. The church is failing. 00:13:17.860 --> 00:13:21.279 Pastors are awful. You know, people are so bad 00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:25.019 and you're right. But what he said to me was, 00:13:25.419 --> 00:13:28.399 why are you complaining about it? If you can 00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:31.779 see what's wrong, just fill the gap. Go ahead 00:13:31.779 --> 00:13:35.519 and do what they aren't doing. And that was it. 00:13:36.259 --> 00:13:39.399 That was like his initial call to me to what 00:13:39.399 --> 00:13:43.179 I say is to fill the gap. So. the church focuses 00:13:43.179 --> 00:13:46.779 more on reaching lost people and to a degree 00:13:46.779 --> 00:13:50.080 churches now focus a lot on church planting and 00:13:50.080 --> 00:13:54.200 those are both very worthwhile good causes but 00:13:54.200 --> 00:13:59.419 my question is who's feeding the believers where 00:13:59.419 --> 00:14:02.340 are they going for discipleship and mentorship 00:14:02.340 --> 00:14:06.059 and in the bible it says to pray with your elders 00:14:06.059 --> 00:14:08.539 when you're sick or have a problem i don't know 00:14:08.539 --> 00:14:11.379 if my church or my pastor would even want me 00:14:11.379 --> 00:14:13.799 to call him in that situation. Or wouldn't call 00:14:13.799 --> 00:14:17.840 you back if you did. Right. You know who is it 00:14:17.840 --> 00:14:20.720 that's empowering us as Christians and I know 00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:23.480 to a degree we're responsible for that ourselves 00:14:23.480 --> 00:14:27.340 but you know when you're a baby Christian the 00:14:27.340 --> 00:14:31.820 church is supposed to be there for you. So you 00:14:31.820 --> 00:14:36.200 know God really challenged me with my own experience 00:14:36.200 --> 00:14:40.759 of abuse and mental health struggles and you 00:14:40.759 --> 00:14:45.100 deal with the anger and shame and then you're 00:14:45.100 --> 00:14:47.860 trying to find your identity and your purpose. 00:14:48.220 --> 00:14:51.940 It's a whole process. And he said, Jamie, every 00:14:51.940 --> 00:14:54.539 Christian is actually walking through something, 00:14:55.320 --> 00:14:59.279 but the process for everyone is the same. You 00:14:59.279 --> 00:15:02.360 know because the devil uses the same whispers 00:15:02.360 --> 00:15:07.039 the same lies the same schemes He does not have 00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:10.240 a huge bag of tricks. He's using the same things 00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:14.519 against all of us Because he's weak and he's 00:15:14.519 --> 00:15:18.080 a little and he's you know, not creative, right? 00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:21.259 Like he only has so many tools and so many weapons 00:15:21.259 --> 00:15:24.200 to use against us and God really challenged me 00:15:24.200 --> 00:15:27.350 like What you've been through, the journey you 00:15:27.350 --> 00:15:29.549 walked on is the same journey many Christians 00:15:29.549 --> 00:15:31.850 walk on, whether it's sexual abuse or healing 00:15:31.850 --> 00:15:34.830 from or not. It could be domestic abuse. It could 00:15:34.830 --> 00:15:39.870 be grief for losing a spouse. It could be, you 00:15:39.870 --> 00:15:43.929 know, any number of things. And so when I wrote 00:15:43.929 --> 00:15:47.669 my book, Becoming an Everyday Warrior, I wrote 00:15:47.669 --> 00:15:52.019 it from an educational lens of... What do we 00:15:52.019 --> 00:15:54.899 need to know as Christians to fight the devil 00:15:54.899 --> 00:15:59.179 better? And I always laugh and say when I started 00:15:59.179 --> 00:16:01.879 writing the book I wanted to write a different 00:16:01.879 --> 00:16:05.740 book and I started writing another book and Two 00:16:05.740 --> 00:16:08.120 chapters in the Lord kind of gently corrected 00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:11.779 me and said hey, this isn't the right one So 00:16:11.779 --> 00:16:14.500 this is the book God knew we needed, not the 00:16:14.500 --> 00:16:19.779 one I wanted to write. It talks about the armor 00:16:19.779 --> 00:16:24.679 of God. And one thing I learned is that had I 00:16:24.679 --> 00:16:28.620 had the armor of God on me, if I would have known 00:16:28.620 --> 00:16:31.799 what it was or how to use it, I could have started 00:16:31.799 --> 00:16:37.570 using it a lot sooner. And when I first started, 00:16:37.570 --> 00:16:39.570 I could not have even told you how many pieces 00:16:39.570 --> 00:16:42.629 of armor there were, what they were called, what 00:16:42.629 --> 00:16:45.389 they were, where they were found in the Bible. 00:16:46.090 --> 00:16:48.870 And I had been a Christian for 15 years at this 00:16:48.870 --> 00:16:52.429 point. And so the Lord just really challenged 00:16:52.429 --> 00:16:57.330 me to create educational resources for Christians 00:16:57.330 --> 00:17:02.309 to help us battle the enemy better. And that 00:17:02.309 --> 00:17:06.220 means knowing who we fight. knowing why we're 00:17:06.220 --> 00:17:10.279 fighting, and having the tools to fight God's 00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:16.539 way. I love it. Romans 8 .28 did that stuff and 00:17:16.539 --> 00:17:18.559 turned that pain into purpose, and now you can 00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:23.500 help others with clarity and focus. Yes, and 00:17:23.500 --> 00:17:27.160 that's the end goal. You know, we have to heal 00:17:27.160 --> 00:17:31.980 and find our identity in Christ. The next step 00:17:31.980 --> 00:17:35.960 is speaking our testimony. Like, the culture 00:17:35.960 --> 00:17:39.359 tells us we should speak our truth, but God tells 00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:43.640 us we should speak our testimony. And that our 00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:48.279 words, when we speak out about some of the bad 00:17:48.279 --> 00:17:50.740 things that have happened to us and the way we 00:17:50.740 --> 00:17:53.440 have overcome them, it's one of the ways we defeat 00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:57.079 the devil. Because we can't, it's like we come 00:17:57.079 --> 00:18:02.039 out of that bondage and shame. is a chain and 00:18:02.039 --> 00:18:05.960 guilt is a chain. And what if I speak out about, 00:18:05.960 --> 00:18:08.539 you know, my sexual abuse and my abuser hears 00:18:08.539 --> 00:18:12.279 it? Oh, well, you know, there are just some things 00:18:12.279 --> 00:18:15.680 that we have to speak about to break those chains 00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:18.240 and those strongholds that the devil has on us. 00:18:18.400 --> 00:18:22.539 Mm -hmm. Bringing it to the light. And then don't 00:18:22.539 --> 00:18:24.359 be ashamed because God will work it for your 00:18:24.359 --> 00:18:28.890 good. Correct. Correct. And when we lean into 00:18:28.890 --> 00:18:34.130 him and we allow him into the situation, it doesn't 00:18:34.130 --> 00:18:37.049 just benefit us. And this is something that took 00:18:37.049 --> 00:18:42.430 me a little while to grasp. My story does not 00:18:42.430 --> 00:18:45.589 give me power. It gives somebody else power who's 00:18:45.589 --> 00:18:49.549 going through the same thing. And so when that 00:18:49.549 --> 00:18:52.869 verse says that God will use all things for the 00:18:52.869 --> 00:18:54.650 good of those who love him and who are called 00:18:54.650 --> 00:18:59.609 according to his purposes, that includes me telling 00:18:59.609 --> 00:19:02.089 the story, but it includes those who hear it 00:19:02.089 --> 00:19:04.390 and learn how to come out of their own pit as 00:19:04.390 --> 00:19:10.230 well. Excellent. I love it. I wasn't expecting 00:19:10.230 --> 00:19:12.970 this. A four -day headache had me desperate. 00:19:13.240 --> 00:19:15.519 Then my coach said, you need one of these patches. 00:19:16.200 --> 00:19:20.220 She was right. LifeWave's X39 patches use light, 00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:24.299 not drugs, to support the body. Since then, I'm 00:19:24.299 --> 00:19:27.240 sleeping better, Josh feels pain -free, and the 00:19:27.240 --> 00:19:29.880 stories we're hearing sound like God's hand is 00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:32.859 in it. It's not a replacement for faith, but 00:19:32.859 --> 00:19:35.619 maybe it's part of the answer. Tap the LifeWave 00:19:35.619 --> 00:19:38.000 link in our About section to learn more. Now, 00:19:38.099 --> 00:19:40.980 back to more of God's goodness. How hard was 00:19:40.980 --> 00:19:45.319 it for you to reconcile once you discovered or 00:19:45.319 --> 00:19:47.799 rediscovered the abuse? How hard was it for you 00:19:47.799 --> 00:19:50.319 to reconcile with God that he had let that happen? 00:19:51.339 --> 00:19:53.779 I know a lot of Christians or a lot of non -Christians 00:19:53.779 --> 00:19:55.880 like to attack God and say why would he do this 00:19:55.880 --> 00:19:58.720 to children? Why would he do some certain things? 00:19:59.079 --> 00:20:00.900 I want to know what your interpretation is as 00:20:00.900 --> 00:20:05.079 a Christian woman. Okay, I'm gonna give you two 00:20:05.079 --> 00:20:10.039 perspectives. One... the first 15 years and to 00:20:10.039 --> 00:20:16.039 the last 10. So at first, I was very angry with 00:20:16.039 --> 00:20:20.039 God. And that's the exact question I asked is, 00:20:20.200 --> 00:20:23.660 why did you let this happen to me? And I did 00:20:23.660 --> 00:20:29.869 not understand. I was struggling with the realization. 00:20:30.470 --> 00:20:33.190 When Anna said what she said to me, it unlocked 00:20:33.190 --> 00:20:36.549 a lot of images in my mind all of a sudden. And 00:20:36.549 --> 00:20:39.829 so I truly felt for the next 10 years like I 00:20:39.829 --> 00:20:44.170 was living somebody else's life. I had so many 00:20:44.170 --> 00:20:47.130 things come to my memory and I was very angry. 00:20:47.710 --> 00:20:52.529 I was very angry in life. You know, I was struggling 00:20:52.529 --> 00:20:56.150 in a lot of ways with relationships and my family. 00:20:56.509 --> 00:21:00.109 I just I was very angry. And what happened to 00:21:00.109 --> 00:21:02.309 make a long story short is I ended up getting 00:21:02.309 --> 00:21:06.329 pregnant. The father and I got married and four 00:21:06.329 --> 00:21:09.250 years into our marriage after multiple affairs 00:21:09.250 --> 00:21:12.869 and another child, I took both of my kids and 00:21:12.869 --> 00:21:20.130 I left. And my friends at the time were campus 00:21:20.130 --> 00:21:23.369 ministers at Juniata College. And so they were 00:21:23.369 --> 00:21:26.529 renting this huge, massive house that a church 00:21:26.529 --> 00:21:30.130 had. And they were like, Jamie, we're two people. 00:21:30.529 --> 00:21:32.630 Why don't you bring the girls and come live with 00:21:32.630 --> 00:21:37.269 us? And what happened is I was there for eight 00:21:37.269 --> 00:21:41.309 months. But they had a bookshelf. Now, mind you, 00:21:41.329 --> 00:21:44.789 I'm not working. I had no bills. I had a car. 00:21:44.910 --> 00:21:47.490 But like my mom was sending me money weekly for 00:21:47.490 --> 00:21:50.430 food and groceries and things like that. Like 00:21:50.430 --> 00:21:55.480 I was. depressed. I was angry. I was sad. I was 00:21:55.480 --> 00:21:59.640 hurt. I was struggling. And I had, I felt like 00:21:59.640 --> 00:22:03.599 my life was being stolen from me. And so they 00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:07.119 had a bookshelf that had a, I mean, 50 to a hundred 00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:11.059 Christian books on it. The only thing I did for 00:22:11.059 --> 00:22:16.440 that eight months was read those books. And I 00:22:16.440 --> 00:22:19.299 think like I only read them because they were 00:22:19.299 --> 00:22:24.059 there and available to me. But, I mean, there 00:22:24.059 --> 00:22:27.920 were marriage books, there was one book called 00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:31.200 Lady in Waiting, and it talked about how not 00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:33.579 to waste your life as a single person because 00:22:33.579 --> 00:22:37.000 there's purpose in that too. There was another 00:22:37.000 --> 00:22:39.720 book that was like a leadership book, and it's 00:22:39.720 --> 00:22:42.460 so crazy because what happened is through reading 00:22:42.460 --> 00:22:44.940 those books, and again, I'm just reading them 00:22:44.940 --> 00:22:48.039 because I have nothing else to do, but through 00:22:48.039 --> 00:22:51.440 reading those books, my heart changed. And I 00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:57.279 started to feel like, wait a second. I have to 00:22:57.279 --> 00:23:00.039 find a way to forgive. I have to find a way to 00:23:00.039 --> 00:23:04.500 get over this. Where I am right now, I cannot 00:23:04.500 --> 00:23:08.759 stay here for the rest of my life. And so those 00:23:08.759 --> 00:23:11.920 eight months are extremely pivotal in my life. 00:23:12.779 --> 00:23:16.299 I learned a ton. I found God again in those books, 00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:20.690 even the books that were marriage books. I found 00:23:20.690 --> 00:23:24.950 God in them and I learned about my identity and 00:23:24.950 --> 00:23:27.470 I learned about my strengths and my power and 00:23:27.470 --> 00:23:30.630 my authority in Christ and I don't know what 00:23:30.630 --> 00:23:36.309 it was but being 21 and responsible for two children 00:23:36.309 --> 00:23:39.109 going through what I was going through in my 00:23:39.109 --> 00:23:42.250 marriage I literally just cried out to God and 00:23:42.250 --> 00:23:48.630 said you have to fix this and so I came home 00:23:48.990 --> 00:23:53.470 After that eight months and my mom was the first 00:23:53.470 --> 00:23:57.630 person I told of what had happened and I'm very 00:23:57.630 --> 00:24:01.609 specific when I have these conversations because 00:24:01.609 --> 00:24:04.710 it was somebody close to our family. I don't 00:24:04.710 --> 00:24:09.670 say who it is. But I had to tell my mom and I 00:24:09.670 --> 00:24:13.970 remember sitting there. For the first time saying 00:24:13.970 --> 00:24:18.579 out loud, I had been abused. and feeling like 00:24:18.579 --> 00:24:23.039 I was telling a lie. And so that's, you know, 00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:25.759 we talk about milestones and pivotal moments. 00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:29.460 I don't know if I could have had that conversation, 00:24:29.880 --> 00:24:32.160 because in fairness, I was a little angry with 00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:34.859 my parents, too. Like, how did they not know? 00:24:34.960 --> 00:24:38.599 How did they let it happen as well? Not on purpose. 00:24:38.819 --> 00:24:40.980 I think you just go through phases of anger. 00:24:41.400 --> 00:24:43.559 And for a while, you're just mad at everyone 00:24:43.559 --> 00:24:47.380 and everything. So those books changed my heart 00:24:47.380 --> 00:24:50.279 enough that I could talk with my mom, and my 00:24:50.279 --> 00:24:52.920 mom and I had not had a relationship my entire 00:24:52.920 --> 00:24:57.200 childhood, my teenage years, and even my late 00:24:57.200 --> 00:25:01.839 teen years into, you know... when I was pregnant 00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:04.980 and giving birth, we did not have a good relationship. 00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:09.319 And what's so bizarre is my first experience 00:25:09.319 --> 00:25:13.160 with my mom that changed our relationship was 00:25:13.160 --> 00:25:18.859 me telling her I had been abused. Because she 00:25:18.859 --> 00:25:21.799 thought that our relationship was broken because 00:25:21.799 --> 00:25:25.259 I didn't like her. And I thought our relationship 00:25:25.259 --> 00:25:28.000 was broken because she didn't like me. And for 00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:30.759 the first time we were able to look at it and 00:25:30.759 --> 00:25:34.420 say, I think our relationship was broken because 00:25:34.420 --> 00:25:39.980 I was broken and neither of us knew it. And somehow 00:25:39.980 --> 00:25:44.740 that healed our relationship almost. It answered 00:25:44.740 --> 00:25:48.579 so many questions as to why I struggled as a 00:25:48.579 --> 00:25:52.579 child, why I didn't respond to parenting the 00:25:52.579 --> 00:25:57.549 same way the other kids did, you know? Now you 00:25:57.549 --> 00:26:01.029 would never know that my mom and I for the first 00:26:01.029 --> 00:26:03.630 20 years of my life did not get along Wow, you 00:26:03.630 --> 00:26:06.470 would never know that God has fully restored 00:26:06.470 --> 00:26:10.930 that relationship and Not to make light of it 00:26:10.930 --> 00:26:13.769 But Mackenzie always says that my oldest daughter 00:26:13.769 --> 00:26:16.910 that she's responsible for that because my mom 00:26:16.910 --> 00:26:21.130 fell in love with her But she did you know she 00:26:21.130 --> 00:26:24.339 fell in love with being a grandma we found common 00:26:24.339 --> 00:26:26.859 ground again. She got to help me raise the kids 00:26:26.859 --> 00:26:32.460 a little bit in those first few years and I got 00:26:32.460 --> 00:26:36.519 to go through the next couple years healing just 00:26:36.519 --> 00:26:39.799 me and God. I still did not share this with a 00:26:39.799 --> 00:26:44.900 lot of other people but each one of these things 00:26:44.900 --> 00:26:47.539 healed my heart and my spirit just a little bit 00:26:47.539 --> 00:26:50.640 more because now When I did go through healing 00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:52.900 and would have hard days, my mom was there for 00:26:52.900 --> 00:26:56.079 me. You know, I could talk to her about some 00:26:56.079 --> 00:26:59.839 of these things. And there wasn't this distance 00:26:59.839 --> 00:27:04.579 or this tension between us. And so I was able 00:27:04.579 --> 00:27:08.099 to dive into my relationship with Christ and 00:27:08.099 --> 00:27:12.019 rededicate my life back to Him. I started reading 00:27:12.019 --> 00:27:15.339 more books. Listening to more sermons. I found 00:27:15.339 --> 00:27:18.440 some pastors that I really liked online. It was 00:27:18.440 --> 00:27:25.099 bright, you know early 2010 to 12 now where pastors 00:27:25.099 --> 00:27:27.519 were starting to live stream things a little 00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:31.420 more And you could catch some things consistently 00:27:31.420 --> 00:27:37.279 weekly so I really just This is where I would 00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:40.859 say the phase of establishing my own identity 00:27:40.859 --> 00:27:46.829 in Christ Okay, I was broken. My relationships 00:27:46.829 --> 00:27:50.609 were broken. My marriage was broken. But I didn't 00:27:50.609 --> 00:27:54.029 have to stay in that broken place. And so one 00:27:54.029 --> 00:27:57.809 by one, I healed my heart. I healed my relationships. 00:27:58.309 --> 00:28:00.690 And then I healed my relationship with God. And 00:28:00.690 --> 00:28:04.849 it was like, he just propelled me forward. Now, 00:28:04.849 --> 00:28:11.619 mind you, I'm in a season now where I've forgiven 00:28:11.619 --> 00:28:15.160 people. I've healed a lot of things in my life. 00:28:15.299 --> 00:28:18.980 I'm not necessarily talking about the abuse anymore 00:28:18.980 --> 00:28:22.640 I'm focusing on myself and God at the moment 00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:26.279 and So I would say it was about another five 00:28:26.279 --> 00:28:34.240 years. So 2017 2018 and God really just started 00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:38.720 to nudge me that I needed to share my story and 00:28:39.049 --> 00:28:43.809 I was like, no, I'm not ready to do that. Thanks. 00:28:44.869 --> 00:28:51.329 Thanks for asking. And so it was interesting, 00:28:51.490 --> 00:28:55.329 though, because he's very gentle. You know, he 00:28:55.329 --> 00:28:58.589 would bring other people into my life that had 00:28:58.589 --> 00:29:00.869 experienced abuse and they would talk to me about 00:29:00.869 --> 00:29:03.809 it. And I would be like, I can pray with them 00:29:03.809 --> 00:29:07.190 and help them. And I would. Eventually, I was 00:29:07.190 --> 00:29:10.190 like, OK, God, I think you were right. I don't 00:29:10.190 --> 00:29:11.990 I don't know how to say this. I don't know how 00:29:11.990 --> 00:29:15.230 to tell the world this story, but I know that 00:29:15.230 --> 00:29:19.509 I can help people. And so I ended up through 00:29:19.509 --> 00:29:24.710 this really falling in love with counter human 00:29:24.710 --> 00:29:28.869 trafficking efforts. I didn't know how to dive 00:29:28.869 --> 00:29:31.190 right into and I didn't have the credentials 00:29:31.190 --> 00:29:35.210 to work with kids who had been abused. And so. 00:29:35.450 --> 00:29:39.230 I started volunteering for several organizations 00:29:39.230 --> 00:29:43.069 that were counter trafficking. And so here in 00:29:43.069 --> 00:29:47.009 Pittsburgh, we have five or six of them and I 00:29:47.009 --> 00:29:50.630 was able to get involved. And so before I was 00:29:50.630 --> 00:29:54.750 ready to tell my story, I was able to listen 00:29:54.750 --> 00:29:59.829 to their stories and to pour into them and help 00:29:59.829 --> 00:30:03.799 some of these organizations fundraise. I don't 00:30:03.799 --> 00:30:07.160 remember who it was, but he said during one of 00:30:07.160 --> 00:30:09.960 his sermons If you aren't where you want to be 00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:12.319 yet, and you're not like you can't get there 00:30:12.319 --> 00:30:14.700 yet It's just it's not the right time the right 00:30:14.700 --> 00:30:16.900 season. You don't have the finances whatever 00:30:16.900 --> 00:30:22.400 So where you want to go? So so your time your 00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:26.380 talents your finances whatever it is give To 00:30:26.380 --> 00:30:28.940 the places where you feel God has called you 00:30:28.940 --> 00:30:33.960 and so that seed before you get there So I spent 00:30:33.960 --> 00:30:38.420 five years listening to other people's stories, 00:30:38.420 --> 00:30:44.180 knowing I needed to tell mine. And so that's 00:30:44.180 --> 00:30:47.500 kind of the journey I've been on. And as God 00:30:47.500 --> 00:30:53.140 has steered my path and directed my steps, He's 00:30:53.140 --> 00:30:56.180 really given me an opportunity not just to share 00:30:56.180 --> 00:31:01.160 the story of what happened to me or You know 00:31:01.160 --> 00:31:04.160 the process by which I healed but he's opened 00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:09.279 up these amazing doors To remove anger from my 00:31:09.279 --> 00:31:12.920 life to remove hurt from my life I don't suffer 00:31:12.920 --> 00:31:16.460 from those images being in my mind anymore. I 00:31:16.460 --> 00:31:21.279 have zero Emotions that come up when I tell my 00:31:21.279 --> 00:31:25.720 story now because I it's my story. I own it. 00:31:25.779 --> 00:31:29.230 It's not I'm not telling somebody something bad 00:31:29.230 --> 00:31:32.430 that happened to me. I'm letting them know that 00:31:32.430 --> 00:31:34.710 I understand what you're going through or what 00:31:34.710 --> 00:31:38.369 you've been through and so I get it. And so where 00:31:38.369 --> 00:31:41.109 I'm at now and where God has kind of steered 00:31:41.109 --> 00:31:44.890 me the last 10 years is I genuinely would not 00:31:44.890 --> 00:31:49.890 wish abuse of any kind on anyone. But I am in 00:31:49.890 --> 00:31:54.150 the only way I can describe it is like I am so 00:31:54.150 --> 00:31:57.839 glad that it happened to me. so that I can have 00:31:57.839 --> 00:32:00.099 the heart that I have for the people he's called 00:32:00.099 --> 00:32:04.779 me to serve. So I'm in my master's right now 00:32:04.779 --> 00:32:07.019 for mental health counseling, working towards 00:32:07.019 --> 00:32:11.019 my LPC for trauma counseling. And I wanna be 00:32:11.019 --> 00:32:14.859 able to do counseling for survivors of sexual 00:32:14.859 --> 00:32:20.640 abuse, incest, and sex trafficking. And so what 00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:23.420 I know is that no book can teach people what 00:32:23.420 --> 00:32:28.329 I know. They don't understand the emotional struggles. 00:32:28.329 --> 00:32:31.569 They don't understand the mental capacity the 00:32:31.569 --> 00:32:35.910 images the flashbacks The way that the devil 00:32:35.910 --> 00:32:38.470 kind of uses all of that to tell you you're not 00:32:38.470 --> 00:32:40.170 worthy. You're not enough You're dirty. You're 00:32:40.170 --> 00:32:43.170 broken. You're used Nobody will want you. Nobody 00:32:43.170 --> 00:32:46.309 will love you all of the things that he says 00:32:46.309 --> 00:32:50.509 in those minds I've already had said to me and 00:32:50.509 --> 00:32:57.180 so There's so much that I joke now, like I'm 00:32:57.180 --> 00:33:00.400 going through my masters, but it doesn't even 00:33:00.400 --> 00:33:02.779 matter. I just need the credentials to be able 00:33:02.779 --> 00:33:06.660 to sit in the room with the right people. Not 00:33:06.660 --> 00:33:09.559 that I'm not learning anything, but it can't 00:33:09.559 --> 00:33:12.819 teach me anything more than I already know. And 00:33:12.819 --> 00:33:20.279 so I am humbled in such a humbling way that God 00:33:20.279 --> 00:33:24.099 chose me. Right because the good and the bad 00:33:24.099 --> 00:33:27.000 both pass through God's hand the struggles that 00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:29.940 we face are the ones he knows we can handle and 00:33:29.940 --> 00:33:34.039 the ones he knows that we can use and sometimes 00:33:34.039 --> 00:33:40.039 We can be angry at him we can be angry at others 00:33:40.039 --> 00:33:43.839 we can be angry at ourselves But ultimately every 00:33:43.839 --> 00:33:46.740 single struggle we go through is preparation 00:33:46.740 --> 00:33:54.069 for our purpose and so I would so encourage people. 00:33:54.349 --> 00:33:57.009 I know I'm on the other side of it. I know it's 00:33:57.009 --> 00:34:00.250 been a 15 to 20 year journey for me. And some 00:34:00.250 --> 00:34:03.049 people are still in those early stages and they're 00:34:03.049 --> 00:34:06.730 still angry. But if I could say one thing to 00:34:06.730 --> 00:34:10.289 someone in the thick of things right now is one, 00:34:11.130 --> 00:34:13.949 nothing you go through in this life can disqualify 00:34:13.949 --> 00:34:18.949 you from God using you. So don't believe first 00:34:18.949 --> 00:34:22.610 and foremost the lies of the devil. And secondly, 00:34:23.610 --> 00:34:28.469 you were made to be an overcomer more than a 00:34:28.469 --> 00:34:31.349 conqueror. And I don't think we take this verse 00:34:31.349 --> 00:34:34.650 seriously enough because winning the battle is 00:34:34.650 --> 00:34:37.869 not where it stops. If we are called to be more 00:34:37.869 --> 00:34:40.789 than a conqueror, that means that we should be 00:34:40.789 --> 00:34:46.230 better because of our battles. And so we have 00:34:46.230 --> 00:34:48.929 to find a way through God, through healing, through 00:34:48.929 --> 00:34:51.949 forgiveness. Through godly character and godly 00:34:51.949 --> 00:34:53.929 principles and this goes back to what you were 00:34:53.929 --> 00:34:56.710 talking about of Reflecting the image of god 00:34:56.710 --> 00:35:00.750 and living a righteous life When we take our 00:35:00.750 --> 00:35:02.989 hurt and our sin and our shame and our guilt 00:35:02.989 --> 00:35:05.309 and we put it in god's hands and say What can 00:35:05.309 --> 00:35:08.570 you do with this? He will never give it back 00:35:08.570 --> 00:35:11.969 to us as guilt shame and brokenness He will give 00:35:11.969 --> 00:35:17.610 it back to us as a testimony training preparation 00:35:17.610 --> 00:35:21.739 character development anything good that can 00:35:21.739 --> 00:35:24.500 come of it is going to come through God's hand 00:35:24.500 --> 00:35:28.219 in it. And I would just encourage people that 00:35:28.219 --> 00:35:31.559 no matter how low it feels, how hard it feels, 00:35:32.679 --> 00:35:35.260 if you give it to God, He will use it for your 00:35:35.260 --> 00:35:37.239 good and for the good of others. There is no 00:35:37.239 --> 00:35:40.860 other option. He's not a liar. And so when He 00:35:40.860 --> 00:35:43.179 tells us to use it for good and the good of others, 00:35:43.199 --> 00:35:47.980 He will. In every season, especially when you're 00:35:47.980 --> 00:35:50.400 juggling family and calling, health matters. 00:35:51.039 --> 00:35:53.679 That's why I partner with Livegood. Their products 00:35:53.679 --> 00:35:56.639 are clean, high quality, and third -party tested, 00:35:56.960 --> 00:35:59.280 so I know exactly what I'm putting in my body. 00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:02.820 And the best part? The prices are actually affordable. 00:36:03.420 --> 00:36:07.280 It's not hype. It's just smart stewardship. Plus, 00:36:07.539 --> 00:36:10.440 people are earning extra income simply by sharing 00:36:10.440 --> 00:36:13.300 something they already use and believe in. If 00:36:13.300 --> 00:36:15.380 you've been looking for a wellness company that 00:36:15.380 --> 00:36:18.519 aligns with your values, this might be it. Check 00:36:18.519 --> 00:36:23.239 out the link in our about section. We talked 00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:26.280 offline about how you were thinking about getting 00:36:26.280 --> 00:36:29.579 into deliverance or studying a means to get into 00:36:29.579 --> 00:36:33.619 it. What part do you think the demonic spirits 00:36:33.619 --> 00:36:38.099 played in keeping you downtrodden throughout 00:36:38.099 --> 00:36:41.010 after you knew you were abused? and you still 00:36:41.010 --> 00:36:42.969 kind of felt low what part do you think that 00:36:42.969 --> 00:36:46.150 they played in continuing that harming and harassing 00:36:46.150 --> 00:36:51.150 of your life okay you are just asking such awesome 00:36:51.150 --> 00:36:53.449 questions they're like the hard questions that 00:36:53.449 --> 00:36:59.389 nobody asks so i have come to realize we have 00:36:59.389 --> 00:37:02.190 two choices in life once we become a believer 00:37:02.190 --> 00:37:06.349 especially like i i think unbelievers maybe are 00:37:06.349 --> 00:37:08.929 not held to the same standard, but once we become 00:37:08.929 --> 00:37:13.409 believers, we have two choices. We can, with 00:37:13.409 --> 00:37:16.829 our thoughts, our words, our actions, our behaviors, 00:37:17.030 --> 00:37:21.050 our attitudes, we can align them with the enemy 00:37:21.050 --> 00:37:24.170 and his schemes or with God and his ways. And 00:37:24.170 --> 00:37:29.090 those are our only two choices. And so what we 00:37:29.090 --> 00:37:33.360 end up doing, because we're hurting, because 00:37:33.360 --> 00:37:38.059 we're feeling down on ourselves is when we get 00:37:38.059 --> 00:37:42.599 to that low place, we don't intentionally open 00:37:42.599 --> 00:37:48.159 a door, but it opens. And what happens is the 00:37:48.159 --> 00:37:51.380 devil does not need an invitation. He sees an 00:37:51.380 --> 00:37:54.460 open door because he's waiting for that open 00:37:54.460 --> 00:37:57.059 door. And he sees it often before we realize 00:37:57.059 --> 00:38:01.610 it's wide open. And he's like, ah. See that open 00:38:01.610 --> 00:38:04.590 door don't go over there and walk in that door 00:38:04.590 --> 00:38:09.429 shame go over there and walk in that door Embarrassment 00:38:09.429 --> 00:38:13.590 go over there Unworthiness in that door and he 00:38:13.590 --> 00:38:18.550 starts sending all of those spirits our way And 00:38:18.550 --> 00:38:21.389 we have to understand that in the spiritual realm 00:38:21.389 --> 00:38:26.130 We have demons and spirits that are assigned 00:38:26.130 --> 00:38:29.789 to us from birth They are in our family line 00:38:29.789 --> 00:38:33.469 sometimes. This is why we see generational curses 00:38:33.469 --> 00:38:37.489 of divorce or adultery or addiction because these 00:38:37.489 --> 00:38:40.750 are generational spirits that have been put on 00:38:40.750 --> 00:38:45.469 us. And so in the Bible, it talks about how the 00:38:45.469 --> 00:38:49.170 sins of the father will be passed down. And this 00:38:49.170 --> 00:38:53.380 is why it's not that like my dad did something 00:38:53.380 --> 00:38:56.159 wrong and so I'm suffering because of his sin. 00:38:56.440 --> 00:39:00.780 It's the spirits that are assigned to your family 00:39:00.780 --> 00:39:03.619 passed down through the generations. So each 00:39:03.619 --> 00:39:08.139 generation struggles. And so we have certain 00:39:08.139 --> 00:39:11.139 things assigned to us from birth just because 00:39:11.139 --> 00:39:13.860 the devil is the devil. And then as we start 00:39:13.860 --> 00:39:16.559 to go through things and open doors, more come 00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:19.579 into our life. And before you know it, you've 00:39:19.579 --> 00:39:24.760 got 20 different spirits in your life. And you 00:39:24.760 --> 00:39:26.719 aren't even aware of it because you feel like 00:39:26.719 --> 00:39:32.840 your anger is justified and you feel like everything 00:39:32.840 --> 00:39:35.579 in your life has gone wrong. I'm the victim. 00:39:36.219 --> 00:39:40.019 This was done to me. I didn't choose this. And 00:39:40.019 --> 00:39:44.980 so we it takes somebody freaking out to you that 00:39:44.980 --> 00:39:49.119 we have to stop allowing this in order for us 00:39:49.119 --> 00:39:52.619 to even close the door so nothing else can get 00:39:52.619 --> 00:39:57.059 in and then comes the job of kicking out those 00:39:57.059 --> 00:40:01.599 spirits one by one and there are some spirits 00:40:01.599 --> 00:40:05.719 like the spirit of pride and the spirit of lust 00:40:05.719 --> 00:40:11.480 that are contagious and so They can kind of hop 00:40:11.480 --> 00:40:14.639 around in your family. Even if you start doing 00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:17.280 better You know your spouse or your kids might 00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:20.119 be struggling now and now you've got to kick 00:40:20.119 --> 00:40:23.719 things out of their lives and then you also have 00:40:23.719 --> 00:40:26.960 And again, this is the spirit of pride, but the 00:40:26.960 --> 00:40:29.460 spirit of pride doesn't just come alone. He brings 00:40:29.460 --> 00:40:34.119 his friends and so some spirits bring other spirits 00:40:34.119 --> 00:40:39.150 and so this is why I I think God showed me the 00:40:39.150 --> 00:40:43.510 picture that spiritual warfare is the first book 00:40:43.510 --> 00:40:46.610 that I needed to write and the first story I 00:40:46.610 --> 00:40:54.230 needed to tell because those spirits have to 00:40:54.230 --> 00:40:58.750 bow and have to obey in the spiritual realm under 00:40:58.750 --> 00:41:03.329 the authority of Jesus. And so I did not know 00:41:03.329 --> 00:41:05.989 this. I don't think I've ever heard a pastor 00:41:05.989 --> 00:41:08.880 say it. I don't think I've read it anywhere in 00:41:08.880 --> 00:41:13.920 the Bible. It took me 20 years to realize that 00:41:13.920 --> 00:41:21.599 I had authority over them too. And so I think 00:41:21.599 --> 00:41:25.960 mental health issues like depression, suicidal 00:41:25.960 --> 00:41:31.300 thoughts, even things like cutting or self -injurious 00:41:31.300 --> 00:41:37.460 behaviors, all of those things to a degree from 00:41:37.460 --> 00:41:40.199 some of those spirits that are present and they're 00:41:40.199 --> 00:41:42.599 only present because you gave them that open 00:41:42.599 --> 00:41:47.460 door with unrequited sin and and not on purpose 00:41:47.460 --> 00:41:50.320 but yes they are there because we've allowed 00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:57.260 them to and so one the first step is really taking 00:41:57.260 --> 00:42:00.699 responsibility and saying okay i didn't realize 00:42:00.699 --> 00:42:03.719 i let this happen or maybe i did realize it but 00:42:03.900 --> 00:42:07.019 You know, I'm speaking the name of Jesus now 00:42:07.019 --> 00:42:12.099 over these spirits, over the demonic strongholds, 00:42:12.099 --> 00:42:15.920 over the chains, and I'm breaking them. And I'm 00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:19.920 saying no. And so I tell this story in my book. 00:42:20.699 --> 00:42:22.699 I wish I'd have told it slightly different, but 00:42:22.699 --> 00:42:26.920 it is what it is. But I struggled with nightmares 00:42:26.920 --> 00:42:33.039 for almost my whole life. Wow. It got really 00:42:33.039 --> 00:42:37.820 bad after I had kids, and it reached a point 00:42:37.820 --> 00:42:42.159 where every single time I closed my eyes, somebody 00:42:42.159 --> 00:42:44.980 died. I mean, they were getting kidnapped, they 00:42:44.980 --> 00:42:47.340 were getting raped, the house was on fire, and 00:42:47.340 --> 00:42:49.760 I couldn't get to both of them. Like, no matter 00:42:49.760 --> 00:42:53.119 what the nightmare was, somebody was dying in 00:42:53.119 --> 00:43:00.059 some atrocious way. And I was so fed up. I was 00:43:00.059 --> 00:43:03.119 struggling with insomnia now because I literally 00:43:03.119 --> 00:43:05.260 could not sleep some nights because of these 00:43:05.260 --> 00:43:09.380 things. And I had no idea. This is something 00:43:09.380 --> 00:43:13.099 I learned just within the last two or three years. 00:43:13.559 --> 00:43:17.659 I had no idea that those were being caused by 00:43:17.659 --> 00:43:21.760 spirits. When you are constantly dreaming about 00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:25.099 death, the spirit of death is upon you. When 00:43:25.099 --> 00:43:29.380 you are constantly reliving childhood abuse and 00:43:29.380 --> 00:43:32.880 childhood trauma, the spirit of shame is on you. 00:43:33.380 --> 00:43:38.400 And there are signs and symptoms that come with 00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:41.260 this that are sometimes mental, sometimes physical, 00:43:41.900 --> 00:43:46.099 sometimes emotional that I did not know. I really... 00:43:46.110 --> 00:43:50.530 But going back to my thing about the church just 00:43:50.530 --> 00:43:53.610 is not teaching us, I've never heard a pastor 00:43:53.610 --> 00:43:56.530 teach this. I had to read a book to learn all 00:43:56.530 --> 00:44:00.869 of this. And so I wish, there are a thousand 00:44:00.869 --> 00:44:03.449 things had I known I could have done different, 00:44:03.590 --> 00:44:05.170 I could have done sooner, or I could have done 00:44:05.170 --> 00:44:09.530 better. And once you learn it and you start walking 00:44:09.530 --> 00:44:11.829 in authority, like from a young age, my kids 00:44:11.829 --> 00:44:15.670 will tell you. I started praying over them and 00:44:15.670 --> 00:44:19.650 praying over myself like the devil has no authority 00:44:19.650 --> 00:44:22.409 in my home. He has no business being in my bed, 00:44:22.789 --> 00:44:25.909 my mind. He can't touch my pillow. My room is 00:44:25.909 --> 00:44:28.849 anointed. My house is protected. And I would 00:44:28.849 --> 00:44:32.769 kick him out one by one of every room and every 00:44:32.769 --> 00:44:35.989 space in my home. And when my youngest daughter, 00:44:36.030 --> 00:44:39.940 Kylie, She's my feeler, my emotional one, and 00:44:39.940 --> 00:44:41.980 when she would start to sense that something 00:44:41.980 --> 00:44:44.380 was off with her or she would have a nightmare, 00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:48.719 I would pray this prayer over her. And for years, 00:44:49.079 --> 00:44:51.059 years and years and years, she would come to 00:44:51.059 --> 00:44:53.539 me and go, Mommy, can you pray that prayer for 00:44:53.539 --> 00:44:55.699 me, please? And that's all she'd have to say. 00:44:56.139 --> 00:45:00.159 I knew exactly what she meant because just kicking 00:45:00.159 --> 00:45:03.920 them out, taking authority over your home, your 00:45:03.920 --> 00:45:07.579 space, your children, your mind. they leave they 00:45:07.579 --> 00:45:11.400 have to because they have no authority beyond 00:45:11.400 --> 00:45:13.380 what we give them and when we speak the name 00:45:13.380 --> 00:45:17.860 of Jesus over them they have to flee and so back 00:45:17.860 --> 00:45:21.900 to the original question I think that we have 00:45:21.900 --> 00:45:26.360 downplayed their involvement and the severity 00:45:26.360 --> 00:45:30.320 of the symptoms and well the severity of the 00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:34.659 symptoms that they can cause I think spirits 00:45:35.450 --> 00:45:39.650 and demonic oppression, and the spiritual nature 00:45:39.650 --> 00:45:42.489 is 100 % at work all the time, whether we believe 00:45:42.489 --> 00:45:44.690 in it or not, whether we know it or not, or whether 00:45:44.690 --> 00:45:49.730 we acknowledge it or not. And so it's amazing 00:45:49.730 --> 00:45:54.630 to me how quickly they can go when you take authority 00:45:54.630 --> 00:45:58.050 over them. And you really, like I've heard people 00:45:58.050 --> 00:46:01.409 say, something ran in my family until it ran 00:46:01.409 --> 00:46:05.219 into me. I would kind of chuckle at that. I was 00:46:05.219 --> 00:46:08.380 like, oh, OK, you're that good. You drew a line 00:46:08.380 --> 00:46:11.139 in the sand and it was done. But it's actually 00:46:11.139 --> 00:46:16.719 that easy. It truly is because these spirits 00:46:16.719 --> 00:46:19.300 and demons have no choice but to obey what we 00:46:19.300 --> 00:46:22.199 tell them to do in the name of Jesus. They are 00:46:22.199 --> 00:46:25.420 commanded by the Holy Spirit himself to bow and 00:46:25.420 --> 00:46:28.719 obey. And if we understood that's the authority 00:46:28.719 --> 00:46:32.820 that we've been given, we would use it more often. 00:46:33.050 --> 00:46:35.690 The problem is I don't think we're being taught 00:46:35.690 --> 00:46:38.730 that authority. Right. They rely on our ignorance. 00:46:39.710 --> 00:46:43.010 Correct. Yeah. And look, I'm not bashing the 00:46:43.010 --> 00:46:47.489 church. I just think the church has become a 00:46:47.489 --> 00:46:49.909 watered down version of a watered down Bible, 00:46:50.050 --> 00:46:52.389 of a watered down truth, of a watered down God. 00:46:52.769 --> 00:46:56.349 And I understand why it's happened. But frankly, 00:46:56.409 --> 00:46:59.150 I'm called to speak truth and to speak it boldly. 00:46:59.599 --> 00:47:02.599 and i can't do that in a church anymore how sad 00:47:02.599 --> 00:47:05.360 is that well the predominant american church 00:47:05.360 --> 00:47:08.059 is a capitalist church and it's about making 00:47:08.059 --> 00:47:12.280 money not making hearts for christ that's just 00:47:12.280 --> 00:47:15.480 a byproduct it's about generating revenue so 00:47:15.480 --> 00:47:16.940 they can keep the lights on so they can reach 00:47:16.940 --> 00:47:18.960 more people the heart's in the right place but 00:47:18.960 --> 00:47:21.599 it turned into a money -making thing they want 00:47:21.599 --> 00:47:24.019 to use the money the right way but it doesn't 00:47:24.019 --> 00:47:27.400 change the heart behind it Correct and and I 00:47:27.400 --> 00:47:31.199 do think that pastors most pastors not all do 00:47:31.199 --> 00:47:34.340 have the right heart and they are kind of trapped 00:47:34.340 --> 00:47:36.960 in the system of what we need money to do this 00:47:36.960 --> 00:47:40.059 and we can't do this without people but we need 00:47:40.059 --> 00:47:42.880 money to pay people and it does become a little 00:47:42.880 --> 00:47:47.420 bit capitalistic but let's be honest if there's 00:47:47.420 --> 00:47:51.610 anointing there and God is in it He is your provider. 00:47:51.969 --> 00:47:55.150 There's nothing you can do that's gonna make 00:47:55.150 --> 00:47:57.289 you any more money than simply doing what God 00:47:57.289 --> 00:48:02.489 asks you to do and so I do have to be honest 00:48:02.489 --> 00:48:05.949 like I Probably sound a little weird to some 00:48:05.949 --> 00:48:09.150 people a little crazy to some others, but I think 00:48:09.150 --> 00:48:14.929 spiritual warfare is the war of our day I Do 00:48:14.929 --> 00:48:17.130 not think you're weird at all saying that I think 00:48:17.130 --> 00:48:22.440 you're 100 % on point I just think because it's 00:48:22.440 --> 00:48:26.000 an unseen battle that people aren't fighting 00:48:26.000 --> 00:48:30.119 it. They think you're loony or delulu. A little 00:48:30.119 --> 00:48:34.840 bit. And not everyone I mean there are Christians 00:48:34.840 --> 00:48:37.300 who who are very strong in their faith who are 00:48:37.300 --> 00:48:40.019 fighting spiritually and being prayer warriors 00:48:40.019 --> 00:48:43.099 and being proactive But that's not your typical 00:48:43.099 --> 00:48:45.840 Christian your typical Christian is unfortunately 00:48:45.840 --> 00:48:49.780 a lukewarm Christian that is either poorly representing 00:48:49.780 --> 00:48:54.099 God or completely misrepresenting God And I've 00:48:54.099 --> 00:48:56.960 been both of those things. So I'm not being critical 00:48:56.960 --> 00:48:59.639 of that person. I don't think it's their doing 00:48:59.639 --> 00:49:01.980 or their fault. We're all at different parts 00:49:01.980 --> 00:49:07.900 of our journey. Yes, correct. And the part where 00:49:07.900 --> 00:49:11.179 my heart breaks for them is they're not going 00:49:11.179 --> 00:49:14.059 to grow out of that by attending church because 00:49:14.059 --> 00:49:17.760 the church isn't speaking to this issue. Right. 00:49:18.420 --> 00:49:21.840 And so they're not discipling. They're not teaching. 00:49:22.139 --> 00:49:24.280 They're not educating. They're not helping. They're 00:49:24.280 --> 00:49:28.239 not empowering. They're kind of just there. And 00:49:28.239 --> 00:49:30.300 I'll be honest, there's a lot of churches now 00:49:30.300 --> 00:49:32.539 in the United States, even ones I've been to 00:49:32.539 --> 00:49:35.780 in the last couple of years, that they call themselves 00:49:35.780 --> 00:49:39.039 global churches, which means all the money that 00:49:39.039 --> 00:49:42.880 goes into those churches anyways is, you know, 00:49:42.960 --> 00:49:47.320 for overseas missions. Their heart is to serve 00:49:47.320 --> 00:49:50.679 the house of God in the U .S. so that they can 00:49:50.679 --> 00:49:53.639 touch lives overseas. And again, that is a great 00:49:53.639 --> 00:49:58.079 cause and a great mission. But how is that meeting 00:49:58.079 --> 00:50:01.860 the need of the people in your own church? You 00:50:01.860 --> 00:50:03.960 know, you've got to find a way, I think, to balance 00:50:03.960 --> 00:50:07.880 both. Because I don't know about you guys, but 00:50:07.880 --> 00:50:10.320 I talk to more people who don't attend church 00:50:10.320 --> 00:50:13.400 or can't find a good church more than anything 00:50:13.400 --> 00:50:17.960 else right now in present day. It's hard to find 00:50:17.960 --> 00:50:22.679 a good Bible teaching, spirit -led church that 00:50:22.679 --> 00:50:30.099 is speaking to believers. Yeah. 100%. If you've 00:50:30.099 --> 00:50:32.599 been feeling stirred but unsure how to move forward, 00:50:33.059 --> 00:50:35.840 you're not alone. That's why I offer faith -based 00:50:35.840 --> 00:50:38.559 coaching. Sometimes God wakes something up in 00:50:38.559 --> 00:50:40.960 us and we just need clarity, accountability, 00:50:41.360 --> 00:50:44.320 and a Spirit -led voice to walk with us. If that's 00:50:44.320 --> 00:50:46.539 you right now, I'd be honored to help you take 00:50:46.539 --> 00:50:48.880 your next step. Check out the link in our About 00:50:48.880 --> 00:50:53.300 section to learn more. I am honored that God 00:50:53.300 --> 00:50:55.659 would choose me, that He would call me to this. 00:50:55.920 --> 00:50:58.619 At first I didn't feel like I had a lot to offer, 00:50:59.039 --> 00:51:03.159 but I think now that I'm one book in and I have 00:51:03.159 --> 00:51:06.719 some resources for people and I've had some conversations, 00:51:07.300 --> 00:51:10.900 what I think I have to offer, and only by God's 00:51:10.900 --> 00:51:14.960 grace, is that I've been through a lot in my 00:51:14.960 --> 00:51:20.800 life. A lot. And I've overcome a lot in my life. 00:51:21.159 --> 00:51:26.099 And so I understand what it takes to do some 00:51:26.099 --> 00:51:29.219 very hard things and to heal from some very deep 00:51:29.219 --> 00:51:32.760 wounds. And I think in today's world we have 00:51:32.760 --> 00:51:35.960 more people walking around who have been deeply 00:51:35.960 --> 00:51:38.500 hurt or deeply wounded who we wouldn't even know. 00:51:39.239 --> 00:51:43.360 And so I think healing and recovery and identity 00:51:43.360 --> 00:51:47.380 and purpose is what I have to offer. It's pretty 00:51:47.380 --> 00:51:54.599 valuable. Yes, it is valuable and I'm honored 00:51:54.599 --> 00:51:57.159 to do it. I'm actually, you know, now that my 00:51:57.159 --> 00:51:59.440 first book is published and I get to talk about 00:51:59.440 --> 00:52:04.619 it, like, I'm actually excited. I'm beyond excited, 00:52:04.639 --> 00:52:08.820 actually. I really had to block out the devil's 00:52:08.820 --> 00:52:11.179 lies when I first started writing the book. Like, 00:52:11.280 --> 00:52:13.119 you're a nobody. Nobody's going to want your 00:52:13.119 --> 00:52:15.900 book. Nobody's going to read your book. You know, 00:52:16.059 --> 00:52:17.980 all of the things like you're not even qualified 00:52:17.980 --> 00:52:20.360 to be writing a book. You're going to call yourself 00:52:20.360 --> 00:52:24.119 an author. It was he really attacked my mind. 00:52:24.199 --> 00:52:28.260 And honestly, it was hard because it caused a 00:52:28.260 --> 00:52:32.000 lot of writers block. So I struggled in the beginning 00:52:32.000 --> 00:52:35.780 because I felt so. inadequate and unqualified 00:52:35.780 --> 00:52:39.699 to be writing the book. And now I'm like, oh, 00:52:40.159 --> 00:52:43.260 I'm writing my second book and I'm so excited 00:52:43.260 --> 00:52:46.119 and I'm going to plan a conference. And I mean, 00:52:46.239 --> 00:52:48.659 we're going to focus on healing. We're going 00:52:48.659 --> 00:52:52.179 to focus on becoming whole, overcoming what the 00:52:52.179 --> 00:52:55.199 devil has done in our life so that we can use 00:52:55.199 --> 00:53:00.150 it for what God can do through us. And I am just 00:53:00.150 --> 00:53:02.530 really excited to speak directly to Christians 00:53:02.530 --> 00:53:06.130 and call them higher. I know it sounds at times 00:53:06.130 --> 00:53:08.269 like I'm being critical of the church or Christians, 00:53:08.329 --> 00:53:11.309 but I'm not. I used to be a lukewarm Christian 00:53:11.309 --> 00:53:15.889 and I have attended many seasons of my life at 00:53:15.889 --> 00:53:18.409 churches that I would call lukewarm today, but 00:53:18.409 --> 00:53:23.679 at that season they helped me. Even in a church 00:53:23.679 --> 00:53:26.800 that can't help me where I'm at today, it still 00:53:26.800 --> 00:53:29.320 serves the purpose in the kingdom. So I don't 00:53:29.320 --> 00:53:33.179 want to lose sight of that. I just think that 00:53:33.179 --> 00:53:36.480 some of us are being called to go outside the 00:53:36.480 --> 00:53:39.719 church in order to actually be the church at 00:53:39.719 --> 00:53:44.079 this stage of life. Awesome. You know, I really 00:53:44.079 --> 00:53:46.820 appreciate you coming on the show today and sharing 00:53:46.820 --> 00:53:49.909 a bit of your past, which is... even though it's 00:53:49.909 --> 00:53:51.909 been a while, it's still a very sensitive topic. 00:53:52.809 --> 00:53:54.730 And being able to share with that and what you've 00:53:54.730 --> 00:53:56.130 learned with that and how you've grown through 00:53:56.130 --> 00:53:58.889 that and how you've leaned on God, you were someone 00:53:58.889 --> 00:54:03.349 to be admired for that. And admitting your faults 00:54:03.349 --> 00:54:06.010 as not owing things like the armor of God after 00:54:06.010 --> 00:54:08.829 15 years of being a Christian, you know, it takes 00:54:08.829 --> 00:54:12.789 a lot of strength to admit what you've gone through 00:54:12.789 --> 00:54:15.900 and what you've... believed to be true into where 00:54:15.900 --> 00:54:18.559 you are now. I'm so very grateful that you shared 00:54:18.559 --> 00:54:20.760 it with us. And you often said that you don't 00:54:20.760 --> 00:54:22.420 want to call any churches out. You're not picking 00:54:22.420 --> 00:54:24.900 on them. But honestly, if you are a church or 00:54:24.900 --> 00:54:26.780 a person, you feel kind of called out. Maybe 00:54:26.780 --> 00:54:30.039 you should do some reflecting. Maybe there is 00:54:30.039 --> 00:54:31.679 something you need to look at. Maybe you need 00:54:31.679 --> 00:54:33.559 to talk to God a little bit if you feel called 00:54:33.559 --> 00:54:37.619 out by any of it. Yeah, I would actually agree 00:54:37.619 --> 00:54:41.420 with that. So do you have a verse that Anchored 00:54:41.420 --> 00:54:45.860 you through all of it or like any that's your 00:54:45.860 --> 00:54:47.219 favorite that you want to leave the listeners 00:54:47.219 --> 00:54:51.320 with? Yes, I will do that. I'm gonna look it 00:54:51.320 --> 00:54:53.960 up real quick just so I get the exact wording 00:54:53.960 --> 00:54:59.659 so when I was early on in my faith I didn't have 00:54:59.659 --> 00:55:02.179 a lot of verses that I had memorized or that 00:55:02.179 --> 00:55:05.539 were really anchoring me but once I truly gave 00:55:05.539 --> 00:55:07.480 my life back to Christ and walked through some 00:55:07.480 --> 00:55:11.539 healing and forgiveness I To my mother's dismay, 00:55:12.019 --> 00:55:17.139 I got a tattoo. And it was a cross. I actually 00:55:17.139 --> 00:55:19.780 designed it. It was a cross with a rose wrapped 00:55:19.780 --> 00:55:23.139 around the cross all the way up to the top. And 00:55:23.139 --> 00:55:28.699 I put Galatians 2 .20 under it. And that cross 00:55:28.699 --> 00:55:33.139 signifies death and that rose signifies life. 00:55:34.159 --> 00:55:38.280 And so Galatians 2 .20 says I have been crucified 00:55:38.280 --> 00:55:42.119 with Christ. It is no longer I who lives but 00:55:42.119 --> 00:55:45.800 Christ who lives inside me and the life I now 00:55:45.800 --> 00:55:49.139 live in the flesh I live purely by faith through 00:55:49.139 --> 00:55:51.800 the Son of God who loved me and gave himself 00:55:51.800 --> 00:55:57.940 for me and I kid you not That verse to this day 00:55:57.940 --> 00:56:01.880 is still my anchor Because everything that I'm 00:56:01.880 --> 00:56:06.079 doing it's not me. It's God everything every 00:56:06.079 --> 00:56:10.010 opportunity I have every job I get everything. 00:56:10.309 --> 00:56:13.789 It's not me. It's God. It took me a long time 00:56:13.789 --> 00:56:16.530 to fully submit and then even longer to fully 00:56:16.530 --> 00:56:21.010 surrender. But like my life is His. My children 00:56:21.010 --> 00:56:25.409 are His. My passions, my heart are His. My finances 00:56:25.409 --> 00:56:28.989 are His. The outcomes are His. Like the only 00:56:28.989 --> 00:56:33.190 thing I desire in my life is to live the life 00:56:33.190 --> 00:56:35.710 He made me to live. To reach the people He made 00:56:35.710 --> 00:56:38.010 me to reach and to do the thing He calls me to 00:56:38.010 --> 00:56:45.409 do. outside of that I find no enjoyment. I am 00:56:45.409 --> 00:56:48.550 like all in right now and I just want other people 00:56:48.550 --> 00:56:53.650 to know how amazing it is to be all in. I'm on 00:56:53.650 --> 00:56:56.530 the same boat with you two peas in a pod here. 00:56:56.909 --> 00:57:00.829 Yeah. Well this is great. I look forward to your 00:57:00.829 --> 00:57:03.929 book and we'll put it in the link in the show 00:57:03.929 --> 00:57:07.050 notes so people can check it out and get in touch 00:57:07.050 --> 00:57:10.739 with you. Perfect. All right. Well with that, 00:57:10.860 --> 00:57:29.519 we will talk to you guys next week. You can make 00:57:29.519 --> 00:57:31.619 donations through any of the links in the About 00:57:31.619 --> 00:57:35.000 section, or of course by praying for us, as well 00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:37.940 as sharing, rating, and reviewing on social media 00:57:37.940 --> 00:57:41.360 and iTunes. Your heartfelt feedback always reminds 00:57:41.360 --> 00:57:44.360 us why we do this. Until next time, remember, 00:57:44.599 --> 00:57:47.219 God is always working, miracles are real, and 00:57:47.219 --> 00:57:49.300 your breakthrough could be just around the corner. 00:57:49.920 --> 00:57:52.639 Keep believing, keep expecting, and don't forget 00:57:52.639 --> 00:57:54.860 to share this with someone who needs hope today. 00:57:55.420 --> 00:57:59.559 We'll talk to you next week. you