I was so broken. I felt like I was just at the
bottom of what I was at. And in the process of
really stripping down everything, I left that
five months knowing that God was like, listen.
I never asked you to carry all of this alone.
We had to strip everything off that I was choosing
to carry alone and not giving to Him. It was
such a season of Him saying, I see you. I never
asked you to carry that. Let's take that off.
stories of hope, healing and miracles that will
strengthen your faith. No matter what you're
walking through, we want to remind you that God
is good and he's still moving today. Let's dive
in. Welcome everyone to another inspiring episode
of the God's Goodness podcast. Today we have
a truly special guest joining us, Holly Peele.
Holly is a dynamic author, kingdom culture advocate,
and co -host of the Kingdom Seekers community.
She's passionate about helping people break free
from limiting beliefs and step boldly into their
God -given purpose. You may know her from the
31 Day Wisdom Challenge or her empowering book,
Own Your Shift, where she shares eight essential
steps to move from stuck to success. Holly's
journey as a mompreneur and kingdom entrepreneur
is filled with real, raw, and relatable wisdom
that will encourage you to reignite your dreams
and live with purpose. So get ready for a powerful
conversation about faith, transformation, and
embracing God's goodness in every season of life.
Thank you so much for being with us today, Holly.
Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited
to be here. So Holly didn't know me from Adam,
but when she heard she was referred by past guest,
fellow kingdom seeker, and co -author of Cup
of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Barry Spilchuk,
she decided to take the chance. So before we
get into it Holly, will you please start us off
with an opening prayer? Yeah, of course. Jesus,
I thank you so much for this opportunity and
for the people listening. And I just thank you
that you care about how we show up and you do
so from a place of love and grace and kindness.
And you care because you know that our stories
will impact other people. You know that our stories
will add hope and inspire them because what you're
willing to do in one of our lives, what you've
been willing to do in my life, I know. it's not
just for me. I know that it's for anyone who
takes it as a thread of hope in their own lives.
So I thank you, Jesus, for this opportunity to
show up and share how you've moved mightily in
my life so that others may hear and have hope
for wherever they are at in their life. I just
ask that you would allow words to flow easily
and fluidly and that you would be honored and
glorified and everything shared here today. Amen.
Amen. Thank you. Thank you for that. So Holly,
before we dive into the work that you're doing
now, the book, the community, all of it, I'd
love for our listeners to hear the journey behind
that. Can you take us back to a time when your
faith was tested, when things felt unclear, stuck,
or even broken, and walk us through how God met
you there and began to shift your story? Yeah,
of course. So I feel so honored and So grateful
to be where I am today. It doesn't come with
you know, it's not all easy and it's not all
glamorous There's a lot of really hard moments,
but I would say back in 2017 is kind of when
a big portion of this started to transition for
me where I was at in my life my husband and I
have owned storage facilities for quite some
time. I want to say maybe like 2010 or something
like that, but that doesn't matter. We've owned
storage facilities for a little while and around
2016 timeframe we started noticing that our storage
facility was really not doing well and it came
down to a point in time where I had to make a
decision that was really scary and really big
for me and I just to move away from my husband
and my three -year -old son at the time and go
to our storage facility which was about a five
-hour drive from our home and I was going to
choose to release our manager at the time who
we found was you know stealing hundreds of thousands
of dollars up to that point in time it was quite
disastrous and I was going to release her and
take over managing the day -to -day business
and get our business this back up off the ground
and hopes that it wouldn't come to needing to
file bankruptcy or something like that. So I
moved up there and lived up there for five months.
And, you know, my husband sings my praises that
I really like saved our family in that season.
But I could sing his praises equally as much
because not only was he working full time, being
a full time dad, because I left our son with
him and driving up drive every single weekend.
So really I could say he was the one holding
it down. Well, I was just focusing on that, but.
When I was there, I was stripped away from every
person. I didn't see family. I didn't have any
friends. I was in a completely remote, literally
a remote area. The town was, you know, very small
and outside of anything that I had known or grown
up doing. And in that season, God just started
stripping away from me anything that I thought
I knew. I really started to unravel years and
layers of hurt and pain and trauma. And when
you have nothing else to do but work. physical
manual labor work, which I grew up doing. My
dad owned a construction company. My parents
owned a construction company my entire life.
So I was used to it. I was used to working hard,
but there's something different when it's all
you have to do and that there would be days and
moments in time. I would be like moving sandbags
and doing things and just break out in tears
because I was so broken. I felt like I was just
at the bottom of what I was at. And in the process
of really stripping down everything, I left that
five months knowing that God was like, listen.
I never asked you to carry all of this alone.
We had to strip everything off that I was choosing
to carry alone and not giving to him. It was
such a season of him saying, I see you. I never
asked you to carry that. Let's take that off.
And there was a grief. There was a process, a
healing process I had to go through as every
layer and every burden that I was carrying got
stripped away and taken off. And so Coming out
of that five months, I gifted myself a week at
a prophetic school in Bethel. And I went and
for those, you know, who might know it's School
of Prophets and Chris Valtin was leading it and
I knew I had to go. And in the process of going
there, I was like, okay, this is where I could
really get built back up. And little did I know
that it would actually be the very thing that
stripped. the last of it, the very last layer
of the thing I was carrying, which was my husband
becoming a first responder. And it led to me
going through a very radical encounter with the
ward there and him naming me, like calling me
carried. He's like, I carry you. And so that
was a really big theme. It was actually what
I was going to call my book. I was going to call
it from carried to called. And I was talking
to a friend and they're like, no, but you can
actually be both at the same time. And I was
like, you're right. Oh my gosh. The and. You're
so right. It's the and. I can be carried and
I can be called at the same time. And so it transitioned
into own your shift because. We constantly have
to stay in that place of Lord strip me away from
anything that I'm carrying that you told me not
to carry. Like anything that I picked up that
you're supposed to carry. But at the same time,
I know I'm supposed to walk in my assignment.
I know I'm supposed to walk in the thing that
you have called me to. And so I learned in this,
you know, at this prophetic conference that I
was to go home and, you know, repent to my husband
and he was supposed to take a job as a first
responder, leaving what felt like, at the time,
the only stability in our life of his very great
chief financial officer position. At a company
he'd helped build to $70 million, and I was like,
man, okay, God, you're really taking it all away.
Like, wow. and so I totally just felt stripped
of everything and and went on just kind of a
journey over the next couple of months and ended
up finding Pedro in 100x and and within months
after that he He asked me to come onto his team.
And from there, from my yes, from my obedience,
which is what I truly been learning over the
past six years is, is my obedience matters more
to him than my performance. My obedience matters
more to him than, you know, what I say I'm going
to do and how I say I'm going to show up, but
then don't actually follow through with that.
And so it's led me down this path of learning
and identifying that in the kingdom, I get to
have both. I can be carried by him. I don't have
to do it myself and I can also feel called to
the assignments that he has for me and I can
show up with a full heart and passion to see
those things through which then led to you know
me writing my book because I had truly become
the message of Choosing to own my shift day in
and day out through seasons, through years, through
months, whatever timeframe. It was always going
back to this place of Lord, I know that you're
superior in everything and I know I can press
into and rely on you when I don't feel like I
have it all together. And it often comes in those
seasons and times where he's expanding us and
calling us to be the best, bigger. next version
of ourselves. And it's funny because I feel like
I'm currently in another one of those seasons
right now, where it's like, OK, Lord, I feel
like we're going back to this stripping down
of identities, this stripping down of responsibilities
and tasks and roles and extracurriculars and
friends and the things that I thought were for
now, but he is saying they weren't. I carried
them too long. And so it's been just a constant
theme in my life, even before our storage facility
situation in 2017. But yeah, so just getting
to this place where I'm like, yes, Lord, I'm
here out of obedience. What do you want? What's
next? Constantly operating from that place of
shifting and knowing that. He sees me. He never
asked me to carry it all alone and that he is
there. And so, yeah, that was kind of where it
was where it was born. It wasn't born from a
platform. It wasn't born from, you know. Oh,
I already had the limelight. No, it was built
from a breakdown in my life to where I felt like
I was becoming the message. I was becoming a
messenger worthy of sharing my story. And I feel
like so many of us... don't realize that we are
worthy of sharing our stories. We are worthy
of sharing those broken parts of our lives because
when they are broken, there's hope for it to
become beautiful. When there are broken parts
of us, there's an opportunity for God to pick
up the pieces and bring them together and say,
wow, look at this masterpiece. And so it's just
a beautiful story of God meeting me and letting
me. continue to walk out what he has for me.
So I know that was a little bit of a long answer
to your question, but that kind of gives the
whole background. You know, if you have any further
questions on we can open it up from here, that
would be great. When you said I treated myself,
I thought you were going to say something like
a spa, but no, it was a school. So you're cool.
You're like that type of person like me, like
I would treat myself to some education. Yes,
I am that type of person. You know, one little
this is just a side note side tidbit. If you
can be anything in life, be hungry. Be hungry
for what God has. Be hungry, be teachable, and
don't get complacent because in that complacency,
that's where the Bible tells us, you know, don't
be lukewarm. The hot are cold. The hot are the
hungry ones. If you're hungry, you're willing
to go after it. It doesn't matter the pain, the
cost. You're not willing to settle. You're willing
to go fully and passionately after the next.
And so, yes, I didn't treat myself to a spa.
I treated myself to a week -long school. Nice.
It reminds me of how you had treated yourself
to a conference. that Pedro was hosting. And
then eventually you met him and then it turned
into your career now. So just one step at a time
leads to the next thing. It does. And I feel
like that's one area where, you know, people
have this idea of I'm stuck. And when you're
hungry, when you're teachable, when you're willing
to find solutions, you're willing to just take
the next step. It might not actually be the right
next step. It might not actually be the right
step, but if it's just one, you'll know if it's
the right one or the wrong one. Before you get
20 steps down the road, you're gonna know if
you need to align and maybe now take a step to
the left or a step to the right. Just because
you're taking a step, it doesn't mean that it's
going to be perfect. It doesn't mean that it's
always going to work out the way that you thought.
Oftentimes now it requires you to go diagonally,
right? Or to the left or to the right. And when
I did go to that week long school, yes, it did.
It led me to then attending Pedro's conference
in 2018 because Chris Velton was going to be
there. And it was just the breadcrumbs, right?
I knew that the Lord was leading me in the right
direction. And I just continued to say, yes,
I continue to be obedient and show up where I
felt God was leading me. I love it. Hey, friends,
real quick talk. Not long ago, I had a brutal
four -day headache. My podcast coach, Jenna Lee
Samuel, messaged, I wish I could put one of these
patches on you. I asked, what patches? She sent
me her episode on LifeWaves X39, non -transdermal
patches that use light to support the body. No
drugs, no chemicals, just light. Wildly enough,
chemical men once prophesied healing would come
through light. Since trying them, I've had better
sleep and more energy. And Josh, he's even been
pain -free when he wears them. And the stories
we're hearing, they truly sound like God moving.
I'm not saying patches replace faith, but if
you've been praying for breakthrough, maybe this
is part of the answer. Curious? Tap the LifeWave
link in my About section. Of course, they're
not meant to treat or diagnose anything, but
wow, the testimonies are powerful. Now, back
to more of God's goodness on the show. It reminds
me of this. We were doing a Book of the Month
club in LifeWave and it was Outwitting the Devil
by Napoleon Hill and he talks about drifters,
the people that aren't leaning in and learning
more. They're just drifting through life. You
know, whatever happens, happens. And this is
like the complete opposite, which is good. Yeah,
I have not read that book and I would absolutely
agree. Like drifting is... is it can be dangerous,
you know? It's where we can often, and I say
that because I've been in those seasons. I know
how dangerous it can be when we feel like we're
drifting emotionally, what it can do inside of
our heads. We were all created with purpose,
right? God created us with the purpose to be
His kids, to expand the kingdom, to take the
family business, if you will, and go make it
bigger. And we were all created with purpose.
We're all being called unto Jesus. We're daily
being called unto Him. And we're all given assignments.
And I feel like so oftentimes that's where we
get stuck is, what is my assignment? What is
the thing I'm to be doing? And oftentimes we
won't be able to find it unless we're taking
action. And I know in today's day and age, you
know, with doom scrolling and all of the binge
-worthy Netflix series out there, it's easy to
drift. It's easy to find ourselves. in that place
of being stuck and not feel like we're moving
forward in a good way, so then we drift backwards.
If we're not moving forward, we're going backward,
in my mind. Stagnation is not what we were meant
to do. God's kingdom is constantly expanding,
and it's our job and responsibility to do that
here on earth. Yes, I could see where that sounds
like a great book. And drifting is not the goal
here. No, no. That is true. So when someone reads
your book, Own Your Shift, they're probably expecting
wisdom. But what's something you didn't expect
God to do in your life as you wrote it? Oh. That's
a fun question. So I did not expect the level
of confidence that it would give me even until
the very moment where it was published and I
was holding a physical copy in my hands. I still
had major doubts and occasionally even still
to this day when someone I know is like, Oh my
gosh, I ordered. Amazon and I'm reading it. There's
this little tinge of that happens inside of me
that I'm like, oh boy, here we go. They're going
to know all the details. Yeah, they're going
to know all the detail. I held nothing back.
I didn't hold anything back. And so I am just
a very vulnerable, raw person. I don't do small
talk well. It's, you know, the water is great.
I don't even check the weather myself. Like,
I'm like, oh, I walk outside and I'm like, oh,
should have grabbed sweatshirt. My dad's like,
I just, I don't, it's my personality. And so
I probably am never going to ask you how the
weather is. I'm like, I just, I don't do that
well, but. the confidence that it gave me, even
up until holding the book in my hand, getting
ready to announce it. We announced it at a 100X
conference and there was something in that moment.
I had to contend for it. I had to fight for it.
I had to really settle into that position again
of like, okay, God, I'm seen by you. At the end
of the day, that's the only thing that matters.
I'm seen by you. I'm seen by you. You carry me.
You hold me. You have me in this secret place
under your wing. I am protected. I am guarded
by you. You hold me. And so I had to operate
from that place up until the moment I released
it because there was crazy things happening and
it felt like I wanted to give up. It felt like
this is never going to happen. Everything's going
in an opposite direction. It's not working out
the way we planned. And so I really had to settle
into that. And at the end of announcing it and
releasing it, I walked off stage where I had
just released my book to, you know, probably
3000 people and I felt settled. And the power
of feeling settled, I think, is what gives us
confidence to keep going, to keep showing up,
where you build confidence in one area of your
life. You can pull from that to keep showing
up in other areas of your life, in areas where
you can look and say, wow, I did that thing.
You know, obviously God alongside of me, he orchestrated
it, all of those things. But at some level, there
has to be person. responsibility of, I did the
work, I sat down, I wrote, I edited, I relived,
I became the person who was able to write the
book. And I had to give myself credit for that.
I, for so long in my life, you know, wanted to
give everyone else credit. I would just show
up and be the worker bee and give everyone else
credit. And I felt like the Lord was saying,
no, like, I am proud of you. Like, You need to
walk with your head held high in this regard.
You did this thing. And so I left with this very
settled, confident, wow, like, if I can do this,
what else can I do? And I feel like from that,
you know, obviously I didn't write that in the
book because it happened after the book was released.
But that was one of the major things I learned
from the book is Whenever I feel stuck, I know
how to get myself unstuck because of the confidence
that came from doing something hard. And sure,
I have lots of tools and tips inside of my book,
things that I had done leading up to that, and
I still do now. But in that moment, it went so
much deeper into like the cellular tissue of
my body, of knowing that I know that I know.
that I can do hard things and I can do them with
joy and I can show up when I feel stuck to move
myself through back into a place of success and
walking out in the assignment I feel called to
in whatever season I'm in. So what was one moment
when you felt completely stuck and you had to
shift your mindset just to keep moving forward?
Yeah, so They happen more frequently than I would
care to admit. I think that my biggest struggle
is in being a parent. I am constantly in a place
of feeling like I am not good enough. I am messing
this up. My poor kid, he is going to be needing
a lot of inner healing and a lot of therapy because
I'm sure I did 1200 things wrong today. And I
often catch myself in these moments of like,
I don't know, a pity party, I guess, pity party,
feeling sorry for myself that I'm not doing good
enough or that I messed up or whatever. And oftentimes
it's in that place that I have to remind myself
I actually am doing a better job than I'm giving
myself credit for. And so in my parenting, I
feel stuck a lot and it's hard. parenting is
hard, trying to do it with excellence and do
a good job and raise a human being that loves
Jesus and knows him and isn't full of religion
and all sorts of crazy orphan mindsets and poverty
and all that stuff and give him a life that he
feels, you know, he has a solid foundation. I
feel oftentimes stuck there and so operating
from I would say a lower operating system where
I had parents who absolutely did their best.
I love my parents so much. I was at my mom's
high school graduation. So my mom was very young
when she had me. We basically grew up together.
So my parents maybe didn't have all of the skills
and tools to help navigate raising me and my
three younger sisters emotionally IQ wise because
they were still growing up. Now obviously we
have. incredible relationship and have gone through
so much growth together. And it's been amazing
to watch, but I oftentimes feel stuck and frustrated.
It's like, okay, another thing I have to go research.
Another thing I have to go learn how to do. Another
thing I need to break generationally for our
family. And it feels like a lot sometimes to
constantly be the person breaking generational
stuff. And my husband and I both like you know,
really carry that weight. And so I think as a
team, we're a really great team. We are able
to help each other when the other person feels
stuck, operating in our parenting roles, our
co -parenting roles. So I definitely think that
is one of my areas where I struggle the most
and find myself the most in a place of stuck.
I often find myself apologizing to my son. It's
like, sorry, buddy. This is the first time I've
ever been a parent. It's your first time for
being a kid. So we'll get through this. Yes.
The amount of times I've apologized to my son,
I could write a book just about that. Like, man,
I've had to get. And I will say that I'm a. I'm
a like, I've really struggled with a lot of defensiveness
and pride in my life. And so I really it humbles
you very quickly when you are apologizing to
a two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
nine, 10, 11, 12 year old kid. Right. Like at
every age, I'm constantly apologizing. Yeah.
And so it really. takes you to this place of
humility and it really breaks down any control
of like, wait, but I'm the mom. But really, like,
sure, I am. But is that the kind of mom I want
to be? And oftentimes the answer is no. So then
I go and find him and apologize again and again.
And so, yes, I have learned to become really
great at apologizing to kids. I know with our
son, he The more I apologize, the more he apologizes,
too. So it's like a muscle. You know, you just
got to exercise that and you'll do better next
time. Yeah, because I mean, they learn from they
learn from who we are and how we show up, not
what we tell them. Right. So if he's seen that
I can truly be remorseful and apologetic and
really humble myself, then he learns quickly
what that looks like as well. And that it just
actually happened. Last night, it was so beautiful.
He has not been feeling well. He has a little
stomach thing happening and it was the first
time he was able to eat in like days and he was
sitting on the couch and we normally don't eat
on the couch, but we were, you know, he was sick.
We're doing it. So we're sitting on the couch
eating. And of course, he spilled something.
And so instantly, like I wanted to react. I didn't.
I was very proud of myself in that moment. My
husband, he knows how important our couch is
to me. And so he reacted for me, which was not
probably the best either. And so I was like,
no, it's OK. It's OK. And he was like, really?
And I was like, yes, it's all good. We're going
to get it cleaned up. started cleaning it my
husband walked out to go do something else and
then Micah on his own I was like hey go check
on dad see if he's you know ready to come back
and to finish the movie and he went and he apologized
to him on his own and Michael came out and he
was that's my husband he was like did you tell
him to apologize to me and I was like no I didn't
and so they do they they they're brilliant, amazing
as they're growing, but he totally did it on
his own because he sees the importance and I'm
sure feels in his own heart the importance of
someone apologizing to you when... you know,
they've overreacted or whatever. So how we show
up and what we do on a daily basis, it is seen.
It's picked up. It's felt. And hopefully, I think
the grace is there for the good things to be
picked up more than the bad things when we do
make mistakes. And they're learning to right
their own wrongs in the process because we're
showing them how. So it's a constant journey,
this parenting thing. You know, I don't share
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to prayer. Now, back to the show. So, God's goodness
often shows up in the most unexpected places.
Can you take us back to a time when things looked
impossible, but God showed up in a way that surprised
you? Um, yes. I, in a more recent time, you know,
it seems to be the simple thing since we're kind
of on this, you know, parenting kick, little
conversation right now. I'll stick with that
for a second. It seems to be in the most simple
of times. And sometimes the moments that don't
seem like they really matter in the grand scheme
of eternity that impact me the most. And I say
that because I really want to emphasize that
God cares about what we care about, and He's
in everything. The things that we're passionate
about, we're passionate about them for a reason.
He put those passions inside of us, and so He
cares about them. So just a little segue into
this story. About a month ago, we were watching
my son and his team play a baseball game. My
son is very into baseball. It is like his life
right now, and we are here for it. It is an awesome,
fun season. And we were playing a very hard team,
very great team, and... We were losing. And I
was like, you know, I really think that we can
beat this team. We started out winning. That's
an important part of the story. We started out
winning and then they came back and we were losing
by like one or two points. And then it kind of
got to like three or four points. And I was like,
shoot, I really think we can win this game. And
it was single elimination at this point in time.
So if we lost we would be done and head home
and I just I Sat there for a second and I was
like Jesus I know you care about this game because
Micah cares about this game I care about this
game We care about this game and I just kind
of like, you know test the wires like how much
do you care about this game Jesus? And I just
saw him standing over the baseball field damn
thing and just like full joy. And I was like,
okay, you care about this baseball game a lot.
And so I'm just like having this moment with
Jesus on the sidelines of the baseball field.
And I was like, okay, I just want to give you
this baseball game. You care about it. What seemingly
is more than I care about it. Going back to,
you know, my earlier part of the story where
learning to just give him things that I choose
to carry that he never asked me to carry. Right.
I was carrying the stress and the weight of my
son, his entire team. all the parents and the
coaches and what it would be to win this game.
And I oftentimes pick up and start to carry everybody
else's emotions. And so I was really feeling
that I was feeling really anxious. And so I was
like, Nope, I'm going to give it to you. And
I see how much you care about this game too.
And so I instantly felt peace, instantly felt
peace. And it felt impossible. I know that it
might be like, oh, well, you're not facing this
life or death situation, and you're not facing
losing your business, and you're not facing your
husband changing careers, and you're not facing
overcoming an eating disorder, and you're not
facing whatever, right? Like a lot of people
think those are the impossible situations. But
until we get really good at the small. impossible
situations, it's harder to conquer and overcome
the bigger impossible situations. And so I've
learned to really take God to those small places
where it feels impossible in the moment, like
winning a baseball game that we are now down
by five and like the fifth inning and we only
play six innings. But it's so that felt impossible.
Right. But I i've learned that that taking it
into these small moments Is actually where I
meet god in the most incredible ways And he meets
me really is what it is. He's already there i'm
just showing up but we're meeting each other
in this place of like Okay, I care you care awesome.
There's passion for this thing great i'm gonna
give it to you because it's really heavy for
me to carry and he's like good I didn't want
you to carry it anyways, and so they I get to
take on his piece and Our team comes back they
end up winning it was ridiculous the parents
the kids everyone's losing their mind and The
other team didn't even seem like they were phased
Like normally, you know, 12 year old boys, somebody
is crying. There's emotions. Everyone's heavily
invested, but they didn't even seem fazed. And
I just felt like that was such the grace of the
ward. Like there's such a winning team. They're
so used to winning that they were like, ah, just
a blip in the system, whatever. Like they moved
on with their day. And for us, it was everything
our boys needed. Like, it was so incredible for
them to be the D1 team as the D3 team. And so,
you know, in those moments where it does seem
impossible in the small things that we encounter
in life, making sure that we're staying in the
presence of our father, making sure that we're
staying in the presence of what he has in store
for us gives us the peace to show up and take
that next step in the impossible moments, right?
And so I could talk about all of the big impossible
things, but it seemed that the small impossible,
the small little moments are where we build confidence
to show up to those big impossible moments as
well. I love that story so much that I played
it back for my son because you shared more about
that story in Kingdom Seekers. I did, yeah. And
with the creativity. And so my son, he couldn't
beat this one level in VR. And I was like, well,
let me share this one story, because then maybe
you can ask God for that more creative ability
and up level that. He did not beat the level,
but I thought it was important enough to share
with him. So that was a good, yeah, that's awesome.
And I feel like that's why we tell stories, right?
That's why we tell the stories of how we encounter
God and, and how we show up with him. And I bet
you that if he keeps trying, you know, like if
he keeps showing up in that way, like he's going
to get it. He will get it because what God does
for one, he's no respecter of person. So he's
willing to do for another. If he was able to
help give our team the creativity that they needed
to operate and show up and beat a harder team
than them, then he's willing to do it in all
areas of our life. Playing VR, playing a different
sport, you know, creating music. painting, whatever
it is that we do for hobbies or extracurriculars.
He wants to meet us there because he cares about
us. He cares about the things that light us up
and make us excited. Hey friend, sometimes all
it takes is a good honest conversation to find
clarity. That's why we're now offering affordable
one -on -one coaching and mentorship sessions.
If you're a believer looking for breakthrough,
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in our About section. I'd love to connect with
you. If you could go back and speak to the earlier
Holly, maybe the one just before writing your
book, what would you say to her? You don't have
to prove yourself. You don't have to prove yourself
to anyone and you don't need their permission.
I think that is what I would say to myself. I
feel like for most of my adult life, I constantly
lived in this places. feeling like I needed to
prove myself that I If I worked harder here and
you know, I did this Favor for this person and
I showed up in this way for that person that
I would be accepted by them that I would you
know, they would think now I was important enough
to hang out with or you know, whatever and I
just I think the older that I get the more I
realize people pleasing is not all that it's
cracked up to be. Like it's just not. And I think
oftentimes it holds us back more than anything
because we aren't trusting our own intuition
of how we are called to move forward. The Lord
does interesting things in each one of our lives
and calls us individually to different assignments
and different things and places. And he's oftentimes,
in my opinion, oftentimes waiting for us to realize
that we don't need anyone else's permission because
he already granted it. He already granted it.
And so because we want to question and because
we want to, you know, double check and make sure
and quadruple check because we don't feel confident
in our own selves and our own ability we fall
into people pleasing and we fall into this place
of not actually moving through our lives into
success into the things he has and that's often
times where we can get stuck is because we are
waiting for people's opinions and the reality
is Not many people are probably going to approve
or give you permission to be yourself because
they don't know what that's like. They don't
know the fullness that you have had to live and
overcome. And they're not you. They don't know
what you're capable of. And oftentimes we don't
even know what we're capable of. But let's, you
know, like, let's keep finding out. Like, let's
keep going after it. And the more people we need
approval from, the harder it will be to discover
that. Mm -hmm. I know my 40s, like, as you get
older, you give a lot less cares about what everyone
else thinks. And the book by Napoleon Hill, Think
and Grow Rich, he talks about how he interviewed
thousands of successful people. And I think it
was all of them were mostly successful 40s. and
beyond. So it's like life is just getting started.
Like you're getting a grip on what's important,
what's not important, what to hold on to, what
to let go of. And so that's why I like the 40s.
That's what I would tell my earlier self first.
I would tell my earlier self that exact, you
know, like, don't, I can't imagine, you know,
If I had this level of confidence and understanding
in my 20s, in my 30s, but getting into my 40s,
definitely sealing that level of confidence,
that level of knowing, knowingness of who I am.
I think it would have come a lot faster had I
not been so concerned about what people thought.
You're to this, you're to that. You're not. And
then at the same time, the feeling of not enoughness.
And there's that and thing, it also works in
other places as well, right? You're feeling too
much and not enough at the same time. At least
that's how I felt a lot of my life. And that
was a catastrophe. I was trying to look for other
people for validation while also not believing
in myself. And so I think that is the biggest
thing that if I could go back and just infuse
that into my younger self, I absolutely. That's
why it's like to tell people that self -esteem
is stupid You know you you have a thought process
about who you are based off of how you were raised
what your first friends first thought of you
and how you developed whether you rejected or
accepted that And it has nothing to do with really
how you feel about yourself But the perception
of other people of you that you formed your identity
and so I like to call God esteem Alright, he's
the one who made me he's the one that knows what
I'm fully capable of even before I know So what
chance does anybody else have to know who I really
am if God is the only author of my life? Yes,
so that is so powerful and Like you hit on something
that is was such a big aha moment to me My own
opinion of what other people think of me Really
that's what it comes down to because if I don't
have an opinion about what they think about me
Because who's to say I really even know what
they think about me I can make assumptions and
I can have opinion, but I don't actually know
what they think about me I don't actually know
how they feel about me They're probably not even
paying attention as much as you think they are
not even And here's the real crutch of it is
if you think they're thinking mean things about
you. That's really you Projecting mean things
about yourself through their lens That's you
just being hard on yourself because you're that's
your idea that that you're in some way because
they must think that Yes, I don't so I don't
know if you're familiar. I think it's Louise.
Hey, she has this concept or idea And it's exactly
what you're hitting on and it's like hey, you
know my parents judge me Well, do you really
know your parents judge you? Well, I think they
do. Well, how do you really know your parents
judge you? Well, actually, I don't know that
they really judge me. Well, do you judge yourself?
Yes, I actually judge myself, right? I'm simplifying
the whole process, but asking yourself these
questions of like, do you really know that's
true? How can you really know that's true? And
at the end of the day, we can't really know that
it's true. And so, so often we create in our
imaginations the idea that people feel certain
ways about us so that we can justify why we want
to stay stuck. We want to justify staying stuck
because it keeps us quote unquote safe. It keeps
us in our comfort zone. But that's actually very
damaging to our true creation purpose of expanding
the kingdom. It requires risk. It requires us
to, you know, expand outside of our comfort zone.
And that requires us to drop a lot of what we
think. Not everything we believe and not everything
we think is true. sometimes we get stuck there.
You mentioned earlier how you like to be vulnerable
and you like to share your vulnerabilities and
I've got to let you know that that is the truest
form of intimacy with God that you can get because
he really respects our vulnerability and when
you can't be vulnerable you can't be intimate
with God. You have to have a vulnerability. You
have to be willing to let it lay bare. Because
that's where you give him something to work with,
where you're basically saying, I let this out.
I trust you with this. Yeah. That's so true.
I heard someone describe intimacy one time was
into me. You see into me. So intimacy, like I
have to let you see into me. I have to let you
see into who I am, my heart posture, my mindset,
my beliefs, because when you can see into me,
and I think that is the safest with God, right?
That we see everything and he's not going to
love us one iota less. One time, like there's
no morsel that he will love us less. If anything,
he loves us more. When my son comes to me and
he tells me he did something wrong before I find
out, I'm like, oh, no punishment. I mean, I know
there are consequences, right? I know there are
consequences to our decisions, but it's like,
oh, no punishment, because I just love you so
much that you trusted me with this, that you
trusted me to come to me and tell me this thing.
Oh, my gosh, this is so amazing. Like our relationship
instantly feels stronger and more solidified
all because his willingness to come to me and
say, hey, mom, here's something I did. I'm allowing
you to pull back the curtains and see into. And
that is where intimacy actually builds trust
and everything we do really is reliant on trust.
And so the more we let God in, even though He
can see without us letting Him in, it builds
trust. And when we trust and have that foundation,
we can go and build so much further, so much
faster. Couldn't agree anymore with that statement.
You know, we we raise our child the same way
He's very honest and open about a lot of things.
He does because he knows he doesn't have to fear.
Mm -hmm Powerful. Yeah for sure. I know a lot
of people don't Confess to God because they're
afraid of what God's gonna say even though he
already knows They like earlier as you said before
they condemn themselves already when that is
not the heart of Christ. Exactly. It's not. I
love that. So good. So thank you so much for
sharing your time with us today and your story
and a little bit about your book. And I got to
be honest, first time I heard the title, I I
misheard it when someone said it and I was like,
that can't be right. So I'm not going to lie,
I have a little bit of a sassy side to me and
I kind of love that about my title. Because ultimately,
at the end of the day, if you're stuck, you're
kind of waiting in your own. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah.
And basically, if you read it the way I'm...
You know first heard it. It's really about taking
accountability Yes, it is a hundred that is exactly
what it is about taking accountability You at
the end of the day are the only person who can
really? change where you are at if you want something
to change you have the power to do that because
god in you has given you the power to do that
and I think you know, just a it's, I don't know,
to me, a funny little play on words, right? Like
I grew up in a construction field. I've heard
and probably said every word under the sun. And
so for me, it was just funny because you are
absolutely correct. When you take ownership,
it's like, oh, that's a bag of BS. Well, that's
because the person's not taking ownership, right?
And so when you can take ownership of your life
and you can take ownership of who you are, who
God's called you to be and the assignment he
has for you in this current season, I can promise
and guarantee that you will not be stuck anymore.
Ownership is one of the biggest ways to transition
you out of that. Good stuff. Also in the beginning,
my wife said that she didn't know you from Adam.
No, I know her. She doesn't know me. Right, the
other way around. You didn't know her from Adam.
And I thought, how funny that is. You know, that's
a man's term. She should have said, you don't
know me from Eve. I'm so glad we got to know
each other better. I know. It's awesome. Well,
thank you guys for having me on. This was fun.
Thank you for taking the time to be here. Yeah,
of course Barry Suggested it. I love that man
so much. I'm so thankful for him. And so just
trusted his Green light. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure
he'll enjoy this episode as well and Christine.
She was on too I'm married all the all the people
that are on a lot Yeah, I love it. It's just
really neat because Mary and I were going to
brunch tomorrow after church and She's local
and then I met another girl in my crafting class
at church. She's a kingdom seeker I'm like no
way and then we've gotten to know each other
better So she's gonna go to lunch with us too.
And it's just it's really great to you know make
all these connections and see what more connections
we have. Fantastic. I love it. So I actually
got to write the foreword for Mary's most recent
book, which was so fun. I got to read it. She's
I love her writing style. She is so fantastic
that I love that you guys are all close together.
That's amazing. It's like a big adventure with
God. It sounds like someone's little jelly. But
you just keep taking that next step and then
God will lead you to the next step and the next
step. You don't have to know it all or have it
all figured out. Just go with it. Yeah. And oftentimes
when we try to figure it all out, that's when
it gets even more cloudy and messed up because
we're trying to insert our logic into the solution.
And God oftentimes has it so much better than
we could have planned out. Mm -hmm. Always. Always.
You just have to be patient. Well, thank you
guys so much. We do. We really do. And that's
a hard one. Thank you guys so much for having
me on. It was such a pleasure to hang out with
you this morning. Same here. And if this has
been a blessing to you listener, we just ask
that you share it with a friend or family member
that God brought to your heart. And we will talk
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