WEBVTT

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I learned then too, that when you ask the Lord

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to come into your heart, He's got to fill you.

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But if you're filled with your own garbage, there's

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not a lot of areas that He can fill. You have

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to get the garbage out. You have to surrender

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your heart You have to constantly be in tune

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with the Lord You know to be quick to ask for

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forgiveness when you've done things wrong and

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you sit there and you ask him What do I need

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to be forgiven for he'll show you? He'll show

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you things in the past. He'll show you things

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from long ago He'll show you things from yesterday

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and you know, even with an attitude or a heart

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you know, intention, anything. And as you get

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those things out of your heart, he can feel you

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more and more. Hey there, welcome to the God's

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Goodness podcast. We are your host, Josh and

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Shelly Hankins, and we're here to share real

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stories of God's power, stories of hope, healing

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and miracles that will strengthen your faith.

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No matter what you're walking through, we want

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to remind you that God is good and He's still

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moving today. Let's dive in. Y 'all, I am so

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honored to welcome back Elise Price to the God's

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Goodness podcast today. You may have heard her

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recently alongside her husband Michael, a former

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pastor with such a powerful story. That episode

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was so rich and I knew before we even finished

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it, there is more to unpack with Elise. She's

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a retired pastor's wife, a devoted grandma, and

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right now she's in a full season, painting rooms,

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showing their house, chasing grandbabies, planning

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a beach trip, and yet she still said yes to this

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conversation. We didn't plan a set direction

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today, we're just opening our hearts and seeing

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what the Holy Spirit wants to do. So before we

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dive in, I've asked Elise to open us in prayer.

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So Elise, would you do us the honors? Yes. And

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we father we just thank you and praise you father

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that you are God that you are the lover of our

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souls And that you've given us all a purpose

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We ask that you will be done today and that you

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would be glorified in all that we say and do

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And we ask that you be a part of every word today

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we ask that you would touch the people's farts

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who are listening and bless them and help them

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in any way that we can today and we ask that

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you would bless each and every listener and we

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ask all these things in Jesus precious name,

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amen Amen. Thank you for that. So Elise, you've

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had a lot going on lately between the grandkids.

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You're selling your house and painting and getting

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all the stuff together. And now you're taking

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some beach time. And how are you really doing

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in the middle of all this? Like, what's God's

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been speaking to you in this season? Well, he

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has been definitely teaching me to live in the

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moment. Because I'm a planner, I like to have

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things all organized in their own spaces and

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everything is just colliding at once. So I have

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to continually lay it beforehand each time, each

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minute as things come up and just taking one

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task at a time. And I finished tating the house.

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The house is on the market now. We're actually

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getting showing requests and all that while I'm

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sitting here. So well, it's just been a lot But

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it's just continually reminds me how much I need

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the Lord instead of reacting in my own You know

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nature and stressing out. I just have to really

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stop take a breath and focus and See what the

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Lord is gonna do and look for opportunities to

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witness or show my grandkids what stress looks

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like and hiding in the wood or whatever happens.

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Nice. I know it's cliche, but it reminds me of

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let go and let God. It really does. It really

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is too. Yeah. I mean, I'm painting the wall one

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day and the cat comes running through the paint.

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Okay, so now we have to stop and clean up the

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mess. Ellie's just looking at me. I have her

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in her little walker and she's in her little

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space and the stairs are guarded and she's wanting

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to get in the paint. And I'm thinking, okay,

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maybe this wasn't a good day to paint, but I

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know you told me to. And so he just is really

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teaching me to wait on him and really teaching

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me to be in the moment. And there's just so many

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things around us that want our distractions,

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but I have to stay close to him these days really

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close How hard of a transition is that I know

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my wife is a very type a personality likes to

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take charge make plans do things how difficult

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is it to Surrender your time. We all know that

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God is supreme, but and and we know that he's

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center But sometimes it's hard for us to put

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him first Yes, it is because I'm a type a more

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of a type a personality also I'm very I can be

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introverted a lot, especially if I don't know

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somebody. But take example for our house, we

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kind of know where we want to land and we picked

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out the neighborhood and, you know, they will

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not allow us to put a deposit on the house till

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we even get a contract on ours. So it's really

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trusting the Lord that, OK, you know, I have

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to help my house up. Mm -hmm. take charge of

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everything, have everything in a tidy bow and

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keep it on track and nothing is going on track.

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So if you have to surrender it, my heart gets

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anxious, my heart gets troubled, you know, and

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I have to when I get into the moments, I have

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to really stop and recognize where my heart is

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and Lord help my heart. Just make it be still.

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Let me trust you. And sometimes I have to do

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that every minute. Sometimes it's every hour

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and sometimes it's just once a day. It just depends

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on What's going on? That reminds me of this one

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video I was listening to today. It was act as

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if everything always works out. And so it's basically

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telling you to act in faith as if it'll work

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out. And then it kind of programs your mind to

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expect it to work out. And then you end up making

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choices that it will work out. So yeah, the faith

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walk is really important. when you trust in God

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and take one step at a time, just the next step

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that you can. You don't know how it all is going

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to work out, but you know it is. And then He

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always blesses each step you take, and then it

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reveals the next step. Yes, and that is true.

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I mean, even sometimes we get answers, you know,

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in preparing for all this, we just get led along

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the way. I mean, Now that we know we may not

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close the same day, we have our next step. OK,

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now we have to plan. If it's just a couple of

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days, like I said, it's going to be the U -Haul.

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If it's going to be a week, we don't know. So

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we just have to trust that. Like you said, as

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the days go on, we'll get confirmation and the

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Lord will bring that to fruition. You know, and

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it just it's very hard sometimes to live trying

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to plan everything, but waiting on the Lord to

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tell you each day for your nugget. And, you know,

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it's the same way Jesus walked. I mean, it's

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we have to really focus on not always knowing

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the answers, but focus on Him to lead us every

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hour and not stressed out over at the end of

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the day. Maybe I'll get the answer. Maybe I won't.

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Maybe it'll be tomorrow. But you just have to

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be content and have your heart in line and in

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tune with the Lord. And you have to do whatever

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that means, whether you pray every minute or

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every couple of hours as your heart, you know,

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Alex anxiety Hey friends real quick talk not

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long ago. I had a brutal four -day headache My

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podcast coach generally Samuel messaged. I wish

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I could put one of these patches on you I asked

00:08:22.319 --> 00:08:25.579
what patches she sent me her episode on life

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waves x39 Non -transdermal patches that use light

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to support the body. No drugs. No chemicals.

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Just light Wildly enough chemical men once prophesied

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healing would come through light Since trying

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them, I've had better sleep and more energy,

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and Josh, he's even been pain -free when he wears

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them. And the stories we're hearing, they truly

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sound like God moving. I'm not saying patches

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replace faith, but if you've been praying for

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breakthrough, maybe this is part of the answer.

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Curious? Tap the LifeWave link in my About section.

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Of course, they're not meant to treat or diagnose

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anything, but wow, the testimonies are powerful.

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Now, back to more of God's goodness on the show.

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So was there a season in your life in the past

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where a similar circumstance of you not being

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able to be in control that Shaped you to the

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point where you are now for instance you that

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you didn't trust God in the past and and the

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you just were headstrong and went right at it

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where now you've kind of learned a little bit

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of lesson and Even though it's causing you anxiety.

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You're learning to just breathe and let God Yes

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So my upbringing was not a very good upbringing.

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I came from a divorced home. My parents were

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divorced. Yeah. My stepdad moved in a few days

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after my dad left and we were forced to call

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him dad. We were not allowed to call him anything

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else. And I was daddy's little girl. I was nine

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years old. I went running down the street after

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my dad's car. Not understanding. So I didn't

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meet the Lord till I was 23, although the Lord

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did reveal to me just recently, not too long

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ago, that I did get the chance to go to church.

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I was invited to church by the lady across the

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street and her kids, and they lived across the

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street for almost two years. And they never really

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came out of their house. I did see them every

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Sunday go to church and they asked me to go to

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church with them. And I said, no, that's for

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good people. I'm not a good people. You know,

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I was 14 at the time and I was like, oh, you

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don't want to come near me. I have a lot of stuff

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at home. No, no, no. Well, they insisted. So

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I went back in and I did, you know, I'm a people

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pleaser too, back in the day. Not so much. I

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still do. I'm the peacemaker of the family and

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all that stuff, you know. now, but so I went

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and asked my mom and like, okay, she goes, oh,

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do what you want to do. So I went and I remember

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being in this church in the Sunday school class

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with them. And I remember them asking if you

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wanted to ask Jesus in your heart. I really didn't

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know what that meant, but I thought, well, maybe

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I need him. I don't know. So I prayed the prayer.

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I did not realize and I meant it with my heart,

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not knowing what it meant all through the years

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after that. I kept hearing there was a lot of

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other situations that happened at home, but I

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kept hearing the words there's something more

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to like than this just hold on and I can vividly

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remember three or four different times in my

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life up until I met the Lord and knew what I

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was doing at 23 that those words came to my mind,

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but I searching for love in all the wrong places.

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I didn't know the Lord and I was full out rebellious.

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And then I met the Lord when I was 23. It was

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a moment where I was at church and he was telling

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me my whole life story. I'm like, okay, Lord,

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I know now that you're speaking to me because

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you've got my attention and my heart racing.

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So I did walk down to the altar. I gave my heart

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to the Lord and asked him to be my savior. And

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after that, I didn't meet my husband until about

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10 years later, but I was still working on all

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the baggage of my life and all the abuse and

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things like that. And so when I met Michael,

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I was probably 10 years after that, but still

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dealing at that point was control issues. You

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know, I had to control everything because I had

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to control who was going to hurt me and who wasn't

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going to hurt me and when trying to control the

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outcome. So to my own detriment when we got married,

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I was still working through some of those things.

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And, you know, I would have to control everything.

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And sometimes I heard God say, oh, no, no, no,

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wait. But I didn't wait. And then I wound up,

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you know, hurting Michael really bad emotionally

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because he couldn't do things right. You know,

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so we worked through a whole lot of issues because

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of my past, too. And so, you know, waiting on

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the Lord and. Choosing my own will that was back

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in the day. It was very hard for me to wait on

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the Lord And now looking back at it all I can

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see You know the message I've made by not obeying

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and keeping my mouth shut Versus today letting

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him steal my heart and letting him you know control

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my thoughts and that's where my biggest battle

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was in my mind with my thoughts, you know, I

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could have a whole argument in my head with Michael,

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you know, the whole outcome that how it's going

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to play out in the ending. But he hadn't even

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had a word said and I didn't have a word said.

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So, you know, those were the things that I dealt

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with in the past in my own childhood that made

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me that way. But, you know, God is slowly unraveling

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them all. Do I still do it right every time today?

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No. But I'm more apt to now I want to please

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my lord and savior and I want to do the right

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things and I take the step back and You know

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try really hard not to make a mess of things

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and do my own will Mm -hmm. Do you see this season

00:14:08.809 --> 00:14:10.549
that you're in now where you're learning this

00:14:10.549 --> 00:14:13.529
patience, which is ridiculous patience for someone

00:14:13.529 --> 00:14:16.490
like you Do you see this as a step in your healing

00:14:16.490 --> 00:14:20.809
process? Well, I'm sure yes it is I mean because

00:14:20.809 --> 00:14:23.250
god works everything for the good and he's taken

00:14:23.250 --> 00:14:27.600
definitely he's Doing this for me and my patients

00:14:27.600 --> 00:14:30.000
and you know, there's always something I'm going

00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:31.659
to be learning and I'm not going to be under

00:14:31.659 --> 00:14:34.679
construction until the Lord brings me home and

00:14:34.679 --> 00:14:37.299
I don't always still do things perfectly but

00:14:37.299 --> 00:14:40.299
I am quick to listen more than I was and I'm

00:14:40.299 --> 00:14:43.440
quick to ask for forgiveness when I mess up and

00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:47.710
I'm going to mess up but yes patience God has

00:14:47.710 --> 00:14:50.710
been teaching me that, and even this season in

00:14:50.710 --> 00:14:53.129
my life now where everything is up in the air,

00:14:53.490 --> 00:14:56.450
I have to wait for those nuggets each day for

00:14:56.450 --> 00:14:59.230
the direction God wants me to go and surrender

00:14:59.230 --> 00:15:03.039
what my plans are. Type -8 personality wants

00:15:03.039 --> 00:15:05.779
to do to him and I have to ask them. What do

00:15:05.779 --> 00:15:08.360
you want today? How am I supposed to do this

00:15:08.360 --> 00:15:10.559
today? You know, and I just give it to him in

00:15:10.559 --> 00:15:12.940
prayer and just wait for an answer and He may

00:15:12.940 --> 00:15:14.840
choose answer me at that moment or he may choose

00:15:14.840 --> 00:15:16.580
to answer me later in the day or later in the

00:15:16.580 --> 00:15:25.039
week How scary is that? Well, I've learned Ten

00:15:25.039 --> 00:15:27.860
years ago probably would have put me over the

00:15:27.860 --> 00:15:30.940
edge if I'd had this ten years ago Today, it's

00:15:30.940 --> 00:15:33.960
like, OK, Lord, I'm waiting. I'm hearing. I'm

00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:36.799
going to listen. And, you know, and there's another

00:15:36.799 --> 00:15:40.200
moment in our lifetime, you know, between Michael

00:15:40.200 --> 00:15:44.080
and I, I think we were that was an 08. So Dylan

00:15:44.080 --> 00:15:48.299
was eight. Zoe was five. Those were our kids.

00:15:48.360 --> 00:15:51.000
I was homeschooling them at the time. And we

00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:52.759
had I knew I would only be homeschooling them

00:15:52.759 --> 00:15:55.220
up to high school. So in high school, they were

00:15:55.220 --> 00:15:57.559
going to go to what I thought was a Christian

00:15:57.559 --> 00:16:00.240
public Christian. high school, Christian school.

00:16:02.100 --> 00:16:04.519
And Michael was starting to show signs of, you

00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:07.840
know, that was his first diagnosis at the time

00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:10.259
they thought he had MS before they recalled it.

00:16:10.620 --> 00:16:13.960
And he was having diabetes issues. And I was

00:16:13.960 --> 00:16:15.860
like, OK, Lord, what is this going to look like?

00:16:16.220 --> 00:16:17.860
You know, it was one of those times when it's

00:16:17.860 --> 00:16:19.379
like four o 'clock in the morning, you're kind

00:16:19.379 --> 00:16:21.899
of awake, you're kind of asleep. You kind of

00:16:21.899 --> 00:16:23.919
was like, was I dreaming? Was I not dreaming?

00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:27.500
But I can remember seeing, how is this going

00:16:27.500 --> 00:16:30.580
to work? How am I going to put my kids through

00:16:30.580 --> 00:16:33.259
school? What is that going to look like? I stayed

00:16:33.259 --> 00:16:36.159
home at the time. I wasn't working. And I heard

00:16:36.159 --> 00:16:39.340
the Lord say, it's going to work out. I have

00:16:39.340 --> 00:16:41.879
it. OK, well, what about a house? Where am I

00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:43.620
going to live? What am I going to drive? What

00:16:43.620 --> 00:16:46.759
am I going to do for money? I have it. Well,

00:16:46.759 --> 00:16:48.340
what about Michael? Is he going to be there?

00:16:48.500 --> 00:16:51.320
How long is he going to be there? And every time

00:16:51.320 --> 00:16:53.740
I asked him a question of my biggest fears, he

00:16:53.740 --> 00:16:57.620
came and said, I got it. Trust me. I got those

00:16:57.620 --> 00:17:00.240
three answers I got for the three biggest questions

00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:05.839
I had. And so now looking back on the past, looking

00:17:05.839 --> 00:17:08.259
back on him teaching me patience and looking

00:17:08.259 --> 00:17:12.519
back on the things that he has brought us through

00:17:12.519 --> 00:17:15.240
victoriously every time individually and as a

00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:18.740
married couple, he is faithful. He can be trusted.

00:17:18.740 --> 00:17:21.500
And it may not always be what I look like, what

00:17:21.500 --> 00:17:24.109
I think it should look like, but It's always

00:17:24.109 --> 00:17:27.529
perfect. I've learned that his way is always

00:17:27.529 --> 00:17:31.609
perfect. I've learned that even in with this

00:17:31.609 --> 00:17:34.210
move, you know, and everything up in the air,

00:17:34.210 --> 00:17:38.089
it's going to be so much better than I can even

00:17:38.089 --> 00:17:41.769
plan it to be. And I'll be more fulfilled and

00:17:41.769 --> 00:17:43.809
more satisfied than I could have even made it

00:17:43.809 --> 00:17:48.549
be. You know, I don't share just anything on

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integrity and is changing lives. If you've been

00:18:12.869 --> 00:18:15.930
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00:18:15.930 --> 00:18:19.549
provision, more purpose, this might be your open

00:18:19.549 --> 00:18:22.319
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00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:25.119
see what it's all about. I truly believe it could

00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:28.059
be someone's answer to prayer now back to the

00:18:28.059 --> 00:18:32.460
show You know, I've always said that your relationship

00:18:32.460 --> 00:18:35.740
with God your heavenly father directly correlates

00:18:35.740 --> 00:18:37.700
with your relationship with your earthly father

00:18:37.700 --> 00:18:40.339
and Since you kind of got a little mixed up background

00:18:40.339 --> 00:18:42.960
with your earthly father Do you think that played

00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:45.660
a huge part in your trust issues with God and

00:18:45.660 --> 00:18:50.420
letting him direct you? Absolutely So when I

00:18:50.420 --> 00:18:55.579
was 23, I was saved. Six months later, I got

00:18:55.579 --> 00:18:58.299
married the first time. My husband wound up cheating

00:18:58.299 --> 00:19:02.200
on me with, you know, women and men for drugs.

00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:06.380
He got addicted to cocaine and drinking. We tried

00:19:06.380 --> 00:19:09.839
to work it out several times and he finally came

00:19:09.839 --> 00:19:12.279
home and said, it's not my problem, it's yours.

00:19:12.940 --> 00:19:16.019
And I could be, I remember being on the floor

00:19:16.019 --> 00:19:19.319
before God. Asking him to release me from this

00:19:19.319 --> 00:19:23.380
marriage. He chose not to he said wait wait wait

00:19:23.380 --> 00:19:28.319
every time and forgive forgive forgive So after

00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:30.420
the third time the big time that I thought I

00:19:30.420 --> 00:19:36.039
was forgiving again. He was out for days, I never

00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:41.039
saw him he bankrupted the bank account and During

00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:43.839
backing up a little bit. I kept hearing Don't

00:19:43.839 --> 00:19:46.119
cast your curls before the slime. I had no idea

00:19:46.119 --> 00:19:49.019
what that meant I was a brand new Christian and

00:19:49.019 --> 00:19:52.599
I had to really search out what that meant but

00:19:52.599 --> 00:19:56.960
you know after the third time I Really felt the

00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:59.539
Lord was saying you may go now, you know the

00:19:59.539 --> 00:20:03.460
truth You know, you know because I was assuming

00:20:03.460 --> 00:20:06.259
I knew the truth, but it wasn't until he finally

00:20:06.259 --> 00:20:10.019
admitted that all these times He was out drinking

00:20:10.019 --> 00:20:12.279
he was out doing drugs and he was out with other

00:20:12.279 --> 00:20:17.299
women and other men and I then learned the truth

00:20:17.299 --> 00:20:20.660
I still chose to forgive one more time and Go

00:20:20.660 --> 00:20:23.000
to counseling and do all of it that I felt the

00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:25.000
Lord was telling me to do and I waited when I

00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:27.839
was supposed to wait Not understanding and laying

00:20:27.839 --> 00:20:30.440
out on the floor crying like why why I don't

00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:37.759
understand but all that to say Yes, I know that

00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:41.099
my Heavenly Father's view of what it should have

00:20:41.099 --> 00:20:44.579
been versus what my Heavenly Father, it played

00:20:44.579 --> 00:20:48.640
a huge role. It was very hard to trust the Lord

00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:51.519
because of the Father that I saw. The Father

00:20:51.519 --> 00:20:56.460
that I saw and loved abandoned me, didn't come

00:20:56.460 --> 00:21:00.759
back. I saw him three times. And the last time

00:21:00.759 --> 00:21:04.099
I saw him was when I was 18. He came up and introduced

00:21:04.099 --> 00:21:07.230
me to Introduced himself to me at my grandfather's

00:21:07.230 --> 00:21:08.789
funeral and asked what side of the family I was

00:21:08.789 --> 00:21:14.869
on Wow, and I Just was dumb -counted and hurt

00:21:14.869 --> 00:21:17.890
and crushed and I'm like, okay then I don't need

00:21:17.890 --> 00:21:20.450
you for a father You know, that was my attitude

00:21:20.450 --> 00:21:23.309
and I wasn't saved then but at the same time

00:21:23.309 --> 00:21:25.789
I'm like, how could you I was daddy's little

00:21:25.789 --> 00:21:30.569
girl, you know, so It was very hard. I didn't

00:21:30.569 --> 00:21:33.309
trust anybody to take care of me much less, you

00:21:33.309 --> 00:21:37.549
know my husband and We went to counseling and

00:21:37.549 --> 00:21:39.950
you know Did all the things we're supposed to

00:21:39.950 --> 00:21:42.609
do and he was he came home and said I am not

00:21:42.609 --> 00:21:45.390
willing to change I'm gonna stay this way and

00:21:45.390 --> 00:21:48.029
I've heard then the Lord say you may go, you

00:21:48.029 --> 00:21:51.069
know the truth you waited on me if You would

00:21:51.069 --> 00:21:52.970
have left when you wanted to leave you would

00:21:52.970 --> 00:21:57.339
have not known what? He'd done and unmerital

00:21:57.339 --> 00:21:59.980
and faithfulness and all of that so I'm protecting

00:21:59.980 --> 00:22:03.859
you so he released me from that and I'm as sure

00:22:03.859 --> 00:22:06.160
as that is I'm sitting here because we've had

00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:08.720
huge conversations about it all the time got

00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:11.599
the Lord and I and I waited when he said wait

00:22:11.599 --> 00:22:14.180
and I cried through it all and I'm not understanding

00:22:14.180 --> 00:22:18.420
but you know, but he used all that and then six

00:22:18.420 --> 00:22:20.960
months later, you know, well, so I was saved

00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:24.519
You know in June of 20 when I was 23 married

00:22:24.519 --> 00:22:28.539
the first time in December six months later and

00:22:28.539 --> 00:22:31.559
six months after that I had my breakdown and

00:22:31.559 --> 00:22:34.599
that's when the Lord really dealt with me and

00:22:34.599 --> 00:22:37.500
my issues and codependency and all the abuse

00:22:37.500 --> 00:22:41.119
and It was during that time that the Lord was

00:22:41.119 --> 00:22:43.539
teaching me to trust him as well as a brand new

00:22:43.539 --> 00:22:46.019
Christian what that even looked like I remember

00:22:46.019 --> 00:22:48.480
laying on the bed thinking what's my favorite

00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:51.170
color? What do I even like to do? What are my

00:22:51.170 --> 00:22:55.049
hobbies? How should I even act? Because I had

00:22:55.049 --> 00:22:57.609
at that point, I reached my counseling in the

00:22:57.609 --> 00:23:01.470
year and a half where I felt like I was completely

00:23:01.470 --> 00:23:04.470
empty. I did not have anything left in me. I

00:23:04.470 --> 00:23:07.970
was broken. I was empty. I couldn't cry anymore.

00:23:09.069 --> 00:23:12.480
And, you know, it was just. something. And I

00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:14.240
was like, I don't have the answer to those three

00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:16.299
questions. I don't even know what I like to do.

00:23:16.599 --> 00:23:19.099
And I do laid in my bed and I thought, Lord,

00:23:19.579 --> 00:23:21.740
you have to fill me with what you want me to

00:23:21.740 --> 00:23:24.920
be. You know, I'm empty. I don't know what I

00:23:24.920 --> 00:23:27.299
want to do. You have a purpose for me. I've heard

00:23:27.299 --> 00:23:31.339
that, you know, and he I gave him my heart then,

00:23:31.339 --> 00:23:33.279
you know, the year before. And I'm like, now

00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:35.180
you have to fill me and help me to be what you

00:23:35.180 --> 00:23:36.500
want me to be. Because I don't know what I want

00:23:36.500 --> 00:23:40.089
to be. I don't know answers to anything. So And

00:23:40.089 --> 00:23:43.470
over the years, you know, and I learned to trust,

00:23:43.470 --> 00:23:49.509
you know, men and Michael, even through the marriage,

00:23:49.509 --> 00:23:53.009
you know, because then being divorced, I didn't

00:23:53.009 --> 00:23:55.089
I'm like, I'm not getting married again. No way.

00:23:55.390 --> 00:23:58.690
You know, you know, and the Lord led me to Michael.

00:23:58.920 --> 00:24:01.579
you know, a year later, and I'm like, Okay, Lord,

00:24:01.980 --> 00:24:06.079
okay. Is this really from you? You know, did

00:24:06.079 --> 00:24:08.400
I do everything right in my marriage early on?

00:24:08.579 --> 00:24:11.259
No, you know, because I was in this perfectness,

00:24:11.259 --> 00:24:13.980
I was type A personality, and I tried to control

00:24:13.980 --> 00:24:16.460
everything. And, you know, the Lord was gracious.

00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:18.579
He healed both of us through all that time, too.

00:24:18.579 --> 00:24:20.559
And, you know, he had his own issues that he

00:24:20.559 --> 00:24:22.819
was dealing with at the same time. And the Lord

00:24:22.819 --> 00:24:25.559
still managed to grow us together. And then we

00:24:25.559 --> 00:24:28.240
also, you know, healed separately. And then we

00:24:28.240 --> 00:24:30.660
heal together in some instances and the Lord

00:24:30.660 --> 00:24:32.859
is a perfect master of putting things together

00:24:32.859 --> 00:24:35.279
and healing things together and doing the perfect

00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:38.380
construction of our lives I love that you said

00:24:38.380 --> 00:24:41.140
that you were empty and then you said you just

00:24:41.140 --> 00:24:43.160
asked the Lord to fill you like what a perfect

00:24:43.160 --> 00:24:45.839
container to have the Lord fill then one that's

00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:49.240
not already full of junk one that's that's ready

00:24:49.240 --> 00:24:51.700
to receive everything he has and it doesn't obviously

00:24:51.700 --> 00:24:54.180
remove that the container was flawed that you

00:24:54.180 --> 00:24:56.910
had your own personality Kinks and quirks and

00:24:56.910 --> 00:24:59.950
such like type -a personality and he still uses

00:24:59.950 --> 00:25:03.910
that Right, and I'll never forget the time to

00:25:03.910 --> 00:25:06.529
shortly after that I went through support group

00:25:06.529 --> 00:25:08.529
and that's where the Lord led me for where my

00:25:08.529 --> 00:25:11.269
ministry was I went through support group and

00:25:11.269 --> 00:25:13.230
it was called search for significance and it

00:25:13.230 --> 00:25:15.990
was at my church where I was saved at and next

00:25:15.990 --> 00:25:19.380
to being saved That was the second biggest thing

00:25:19.380 --> 00:25:22.680
that taught me about the Lord to trust the Lord

00:25:22.680 --> 00:25:25.640
who I was in the Lord my identity in Christ all

00:25:25.640 --> 00:25:28.720
of that and God orchestrated all that at perfect

00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:31.700
timing because I did not have that I wouldn't

00:25:31.700 --> 00:25:34.359
have even learned who I was and what my inheritance

00:25:34.359 --> 00:25:39.059
was, you know, and I learned then too That when

00:25:39.059 --> 00:25:41.220
you ask the Lord to come into your heart, he's

00:25:41.220 --> 00:25:44.079
got to fill you but if you're filled with your

00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:48.140
own garbage There's not a lot of areas that he

00:25:48.140 --> 00:25:51.019
can fill. You have to get the garbage out. You

00:25:51.019 --> 00:25:53.220
have to surrender your heart You have to constantly

00:25:53.220 --> 00:25:56.019
be in tune with the Lord You know to be quick

00:25:56.019 --> 00:25:58.079
to ask for forgiveness when you've done things

00:25:58.079 --> 00:26:00.720
wrong and you sit there and you ask him What

00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:03.640
do I need to be forgiven for he'll show you?

00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:06.500
He'll show you things in the past. He'll show

00:26:06.500 --> 00:26:08.799
you things from long ago He'll show you things

00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:12.200
from yesterday and you know, even with an attitude

00:26:12.200 --> 00:26:16.240
or a heart, you know intention anything And as

00:26:16.240 --> 00:26:18.480
you get those things out of your heart, he can

00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:20.519
feel you more and more. I liken it to like a

00:26:20.519 --> 00:26:23.839
garage. You know, we put all these things in

00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:25.720
our garages so we have no room in our houses

00:26:25.720 --> 00:26:28.220
for him. But when we take everything out and

00:26:28.220 --> 00:26:31.740
sweep it out and keep it all clean. Only then

00:26:31.740 --> 00:26:35.980
can he keep us filled to where he can use us

00:26:35.980 --> 00:26:41.339
completely. Hey friend, sometimes all it takes

00:26:41.339 --> 00:26:43.799
is a good honest conversation to find clarity.

00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:46.880
That's why we're now offering affordable one

00:26:46.880 --> 00:26:49.779
-on -one coaching and mentorship sessions. If

00:26:49.779 --> 00:26:52.420
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00:26:52.740 --> 00:26:55.339
or spirit -led direction, these hour -long calls

00:26:55.339 --> 00:26:58.420
are a space to process, pray, and move forward.

00:26:59.099 --> 00:27:01.480
You can book your session now with special listener

00:27:01.480 --> 00:27:04.140
pricing. Just head to the link in our About section.

00:27:04.420 --> 00:27:06.990
I'd love to connect with you. You know, I firmly

00:27:06.990 --> 00:27:09.450
believe that when you were 14 and you said the

00:27:09.450 --> 00:27:10.869
prayer and believed in your heart, even though

00:27:10.869 --> 00:27:13.569
you didn't know what that meant, that he took

00:27:13.569 --> 00:27:17.230
that seriously. You may not have, you may not

00:27:17.230 --> 00:27:20.349
have understood it, but he did. And as you said

00:27:20.349 --> 00:27:22.009
before, your heart was already full of a bunch

00:27:22.009 --> 00:27:24.150
of junk. So he really couldn't get through to

00:27:24.150 --> 00:27:27.470
you until you emptied all that junk out in a

00:27:27.470 --> 00:27:30.720
moment of desperation, right? He meets us at

00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:33.640
our lowest points often often. He can meet us

00:27:33.640 --> 00:27:35.500
in our high points He can miss at any point but

00:27:35.500 --> 00:27:37.339
he often finds us in our lowest point because

00:27:37.339 --> 00:27:40.000
that's when we finally let go of who we are and

00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.519
Decide to let him be who he is It's just what

00:27:44.519 --> 00:27:47.240
a beautiful transformation I'm glad that you

00:27:47.240 --> 00:27:50.339
were actually saved at 14 and that he holds a

00:27:50.339 --> 00:27:53.279
promise that we can't That he held on to that

00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:55.019
even though you couldn't you couldn't even measure

00:27:55.019 --> 00:27:57.900
up to what it meant And he held on to that promise

00:27:57.900 --> 00:28:02.339
and he said no no I asked me along the way when

00:28:02.339 --> 00:28:05.420
I went to make huge mistakes, you know, or when

00:28:05.420 --> 00:28:08.500
I was broken the most, you know They're hold

00:28:08.500 --> 00:28:10.440
on. There's more. There's more to light than

00:28:10.440 --> 00:28:12.819
this. I have you I had no idea where those words

00:28:12.819 --> 00:28:15.500
were coming from but they kept giving me a hope

00:28:15.500 --> 00:28:19.299
not to give up You know, and I kept thinking

00:28:19.299 --> 00:28:21.660
okay, where's that coming from? But okay, I'll

00:28:21.660 --> 00:28:24.319
take it How long did it take you to realize that

00:28:24.319 --> 00:28:28.200
was the Holy Spirit speaking? Well, I was saved

00:28:28.200 --> 00:28:31.440
at 23 and then it wasn't until search for significance

00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:34.480
the next year when I was 24 that the Lord was

00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:36.940
just putting all these things together. So when

00:28:36.940 --> 00:28:40.539
I finally realized, you know, how the Holy Spirit

00:28:40.539 --> 00:28:42.859
worked and that I was filled with the Holy Spirit,

00:28:43.140 --> 00:28:46.210
then he connected the dots for me. You know,

00:28:46.210 --> 00:28:48.490
I had forgotten that I had asked the Lord that

00:28:48.490 --> 00:28:50.609
prayer when I was 14. I'd only remembered that

00:28:50.609 --> 00:28:53.329
a few years ago when someone was asking me my

00:28:53.329 --> 00:28:56.269
testimony. And then all of a sudden that just

00:28:56.269 --> 00:28:58.990
popped in there. And I'm like, that's it. That's

00:28:58.990 --> 00:29:01.369
where those words came from. Although I knew

00:29:01.369 --> 00:29:04.410
how the Holy Spirit worked. But the whole piece

00:29:04.410 --> 00:29:08.150
of asking him to be my savior at 14, I didn't

00:29:08.150 --> 00:29:10.049
really remember it because I didn't understand

00:29:10.049 --> 00:29:13.029
what I was doing. But like you said, he knew

00:29:13.029 --> 00:29:16.599
what I was doing. and he picked that promise

00:29:16.599 --> 00:29:21.200
to heart yeah he sure did and he protected me

00:29:21.200 --> 00:29:24.400
from a lot of things because you know i like

00:29:24.400 --> 00:29:28.819
i said i was 14 at that time but you know we

00:29:28.819 --> 00:29:31.420
never had it for a few i can remember getting

00:29:31.420 --> 00:29:35.359
my brother up at nine years old getting him ready

00:29:35.359 --> 00:29:38.700
for school walking us to school my mom and we

00:29:38.700 --> 00:29:41.220
would walk to school together she'd show up a

00:29:41.220 --> 00:29:43.279
little bit before we left to make sure we had

00:29:43.279 --> 00:29:45.710
everything but There'd be times she'd call me

00:29:45.710 --> 00:29:48.029
on the phone when I was 10 or 11. I'm not coming

00:29:48.029 --> 00:29:51.589
home. I'll be home late Here's how you cook dinner

00:29:51.589 --> 00:29:54.089
get the pot out filled up at water. She was at

00:29:54.089 --> 00:29:57.309
work telling me this, you know Wait for it to

00:29:57.309 --> 00:29:59.210
boil where you see the bubbles and she'd walk

00:29:59.210 --> 00:30:01.289
me through making spaghetti out of a box with

00:30:01.289 --> 00:30:05.789
you know the spaghetti sauce, you know, and so

00:30:05.789 --> 00:30:08.829
I There was so many things, you know looking

00:30:08.829 --> 00:30:12.339
back on I had so much time on my hands It's a

00:30:12.339 --> 00:30:14.539
miracle of God that I didn't get into more trouble

00:30:14.539 --> 00:30:18.180
than I did not having curfews, you know and everything

00:30:18.180 --> 00:30:21.500
I tried to do like in my 20s before I met the

00:30:21.500 --> 00:30:25.000
Lord. I mean, he made sure I hated it. I took

00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:27.599
my first drink, you know, I swore I never would

00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:29.880
drink because my father turned out to be an alcoholic.

00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:32.720
You know, now I tell my kids don't even mess

00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:35.349
with that, you know. You don't know if the devil

00:30:35.349 --> 00:30:37.690
is going to use that with you or not. Your first

00:30:37.690 --> 00:30:39.630
sip, you'll find out if you're an alcoholic or

00:30:39.630 --> 00:30:42.910
not and why take the chance. But I have that

00:30:42.910 --> 00:30:45.509
wisdom for my own self. You know, when I was

00:30:45.509 --> 00:30:49.170
15 and 18 and 20, you know, but the first time

00:30:49.170 --> 00:30:52.329
I tried to take a drink, you know, I can remember

00:30:52.329 --> 00:30:54.670
being 20 years old. I was afraid of everything

00:30:54.670 --> 00:30:58.069
because, you know, my dad drank, but I did it.

00:30:58.660 --> 00:31:02.240
And oh my goodness the next day. I mean, I I

00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:05.559
remember falling I was with my girlfriends swat

00:31:05.559 --> 00:31:09.019
back on my back like they're passed out and he

00:31:09.019 --> 00:31:11.259
made sure I never took another drink after that

00:31:11.259 --> 00:31:15.480
because of the reaction I have and The friends

00:31:15.480 --> 00:31:17.720
I was with and they took care of me, but you

00:31:17.720 --> 00:31:20.140
know, it was so everything I tried to do was

00:31:20.140 --> 00:31:23.109
so extreme Until the point I knew what I was

00:31:23.109 --> 00:31:27.289
doing and I knew now in hindsight after I was

00:31:27.289 --> 00:31:30.069
saved Looking back on it. I knew the Lord was

00:31:30.069 --> 00:31:36.190
that was his hand on me protecting me Incredible

00:31:36.190 --> 00:31:41.960
Wow So when he does all that reveals to you what

00:31:41.960 --> 00:31:44.339
he saved you from and what you could have been

00:31:44.339 --> 00:31:47.299
He gives you the little visions of you know,

00:31:47.299 --> 00:31:50.200
he gives you visions He lets you see things sometimes

00:31:50.200 --> 00:31:53.220
the answer to things and when you realize it

00:31:53.220 --> 00:31:56.619
was his hand on you all this time Yours you sit

00:31:56.619 --> 00:31:59.960
back and go. Oh my thank you Lord, you know and

00:31:59.960 --> 00:32:02.819
that helps you trust him more and more and more

00:32:02.819 --> 00:32:08.390
Mm -hmm. He's trustworthy. Absolutely Now, is

00:32:08.390 --> 00:32:10.390
there something God's been highlighting to you

00:32:10.390 --> 00:32:13.230
lately, like through scripture or prayer, even

00:32:13.230 --> 00:32:15.509
in the day -to -day speaking to you, that you

00:32:15.509 --> 00:32:17.809
could feel could encourage someone listening

00:32:17.809 --> 00:32:24.450
right now? Well, my life first, I found it 15

00:32:24.450 --> 00:32:28.730
years ago, and it's Isaiah 43, 19. And it says,

00:32:28.750 --> 00:32:32.690
Behold, I will do a new thing. Now it shall spring

00:32:32.690 --> 00:32:36.259
forth, ye shall won't you shall know it. I will

00:32:36.259 --> 00:32:38.859
even make a way in the wilderness and rivers

00:32:38.859 --> 00:32:42.839
and the desert." So making a way in the wilderness

00:32:42.839 --> 00:32:46.940
and making a river in a desert, those are big

00:32:46.940 --> 00:32:50.859
words and the Lord can do all of that. There

00:32:50.859 --> 00:32:52.960
have been times in my life where it's been so

00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:58.839
dry and so desperate and I've seen him make the

00:32:58.839 --> 00:33:02.130
rivers in the desert. He'll make a way. And when

00:33:02.130 --> 00:33:05.589
you trust Him, He will do that. And so anybody

00:33:05.589 --> 00:33:10.390
listening who's hurting, who has a broken heart,

00:33:10.509 --> 00:33:14.250
who may have had a past like mine, our Lord Jesus

00:33:14.250 --> 00:33:19.119
Christ is so... trustworthy he can work miracles

00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:21.660
if you keep your eyes open and look at him and

00:33:21.660 --> 00:33:24.579
trust him he can heal your heart he can give

00:33:24.579 --> 00:33:28.099
you a new life direction he puts desires in your

00:33:28.099 --> 00:33:30.400
heart that you don't even know you want or need

00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:34.180
you know and i could not have planned my life

00:33:34.180 --> 00:33:38.079
any better looking back on all of it would i

00:33:38.079 --> 00:33:41.589
change anything no because of who I am today,

00:33:42.089 --> 00:33:45.269
who he is in my life, and where he's bringing

00:33:45.269 --> 00:33:48.230
me to. You know, it's like an adventure. I keep

00:33:48.230 --> 00:33:51.710
my mind and my heart open knowing that life is

00:33:51.710 --> 00:33:54.109
an adventure, and it's gonna be the greatest

00:33:54.109 --> 00:33:58.269
adventure. You know? Is it always gonna be easy?

00:33:58.549 --> 00:34:02.170
No, but I... And if I didn't have the Lord on

00:34:02.170 --> 00:34:04.930
my side... Don't know that I would make it. I

00:34:04.930 --> 00:34:07.410
would not make it. Yeah, I don't know because

00:34:07.410 --> 00:34:10.829
the Lord is there He's got me in his hand. He's

00:34:10.829 --> 00:34:14.889
got my kids my husband knee Everybody in his

00:34:14.889 --> 00:34:17.710
hand and he's got the hurting person who's been

00:34:17.710 --> 00:34:20.849
through so much in his hand You know and one

00:34:20.849 --> 00:34:23.429
of the biggest things I can remember during my

00:34:23.429 --> 00:34:25.829
healing. I was sitting there crying I avoided

00:34:25.829 --> 00:34:30.170
my mom for two years Because I was the angriest

00:34:30.170 --> 00:34:33.519
at her For allowing things to happen that happened

00:34:33.519 --> 00:34:35.360
for bringing the people in our house that did

00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:39.079
it, you know And I was not ready and she would

00:34:39.079 --> 00:34:42.500
never call me from her house because it costed

00:34:42.500 --> 00:34:44.960
her money She called me on the 800 number at

00:34:44.960 --> 00:34:46.920
work where it didn't cost her anything But I

00:34:46.920 --> 00:34:49.099
had the luxury of two years that I needed to

00:34:49.099 --> 00:34:51.559
heal mom. I can't talk right now I have to go

00:34:51.559 --> 00:34:54.639
to work, you know, it's not a good time and Finally

00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:57.800
one day she said I'm coming and I'm coming on

00:34:57.800 --> 00:35:02.000
Thanksgiving. I'm going to see you And I remember

00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:04.300
sitting in my pompous on chair having my quiet

00:35:04.300 --> 00:35:07.239
time and I was scared I was not ready to see

00:35:07.239 --> 00:35:12.059
her I didn't think I was still angry at her and

00:35:12.059 --> 00:35:14.719
I was almost to the point where I was forgiven

00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:17.599
her and I knew the Lord was working on me to

00:35:17.599 --> 00:35:21.019
forgive her and I was I Can't remember it to

00:35:21.019 --> 00:35:23.539
this day. I'm like Lord. I need a hug. I don't

00:35:23.539 --> 00:35:26.340
know what I'm gonna do or say I don't even want

00:35:26.340 --> 00:35:29.519
to open that door and He gave me the biggest

00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:34.099
hug I could never, I mean, I knew it was a hug.

00:35:34.300 --> 00:35:36.579
I felt it was a hug. I just felt a peace and

00:35:36.579 --> 00:35:38.920
a calm and a tightness wrapped around me that,

00:35:39.260 --> 00:35:44.039
and he said, I got it. So, I mean, she did come.

00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:47.340
It was awkward, but it was good. And he allowed

00:35:47.340 --> 00:35:52.409
it to be. And today, you know, I led her to the

00:35:52.409 --> 00:35:55.010
Lord two years ago. The Lord was gracious enough

00:35:55.010 --> 00:35:59.989
to forgive me, and I forgave my mom. He worked

00:35:59.989 --> 00:36:03.130
on me and worked on me and helped me to heal.

00:36:03.590 --> 00:36:08.570
Now we're friends today. And here we are. We

00:36:08.570 --> 00:36:11.849
are friends. She is saved. Now, was I always

00:36:11.849 --> 00:36:13.829
that happy to have her around throughout the

00:36:13.829 --> 00:36:17.360
time? that she was saved, she was saved two years

00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:21.019
ago, Easter. I moved to North Carolina from Florida

00:36:21.019 --> 00:36:24.320
and she announced that she was coming up here

00:36:24.320 --> 00:36:28.019
as well to live. And I'll be honest, we never

00:36:28.019 --> 00:36:30.579
lived in the same city and we could never really

00:36:30.579 --> 00:36:32.800
take more of each other than five or six days.

00:36:33.519 --> 00:36:36.500
She was manipulative, she was controlling if

00:36:36.500 --> 00:36:39.000
things didn't go, I mean, I'd be driving, turn

00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:42.440
here. Park here. Let me think for myself, you

00:36:42.440 --> 00:36:44.980
know, that's my flesh, you know, after so many

00:36:44.980 --> 00:36:47.780
days of hearing that and telling me how I think

00:36:47.780 --> 00:36:50.719
and feel and move, I kind of like, okay, I have

00:36:50.719 --> 00:36:53.719
enough. But then I have to give it to the Lord

00:36:53.719 --> 00:36:55.900
and stop and breathe. And, you know, she was

00:36:55.900 --> 00:36:59.019
the only Bible because she was a Catholic, a

00:36:59.019 --> 00:37:01.719
diehard Catholic, and they were brought up differently

00:37:01.719 --> 00:37:05.530
and so ritualistic. And she held on to those

00:37:05.530 --> 00:37:08.469
things. You know, now she was also had a lot

00:37:08.469 --> 00:37:11.630
of hurt in her past, too, because they excommunicated

00:37:11.630 --> 00:37:14.730
her when she got divorced. So she had a lot of

00:37:14.730 --> 00:37:18.110
hurt from the church and she loved all churches

00:37:18.110 --> 00:37:22.630
in Christ as the same. And the Lord reminded

00:37:22.630 --> 00:37:25.269
me several times throughout my walk with him

00:37:25.269 --> 00:37:28.190
in all these years, you know, you treat a stranger

00:37:28.190 --> 00:37:31.119
better than you treat her. Ouch. Okay, Lord,

00:37:31.139 --> 00:37:34.420
I'm sorry. Help me with that. You know, and then

00:37:34.420 --> 00:37:39.360
again, he'd remind me she's the only Bible. You're

00:37:39.360 --> 00:37:43.400
the only Bible she see. Okay, Lord, that's a

00:37:43.400 --> 00:37:46.860
lot to put on me. But okay. You know, but he

00:37:46.860 --> 00:37:49.940
likes our honesty. You know, you have to be honest

00:37:49.940 --> 00:37:52.699
with the Lord. You may not always like it. but

00:37:52.699 --> 00:37:54.960
he's giving to you and there have been times

00:37:54.960 --> 00:37:57.440
where I've sat and then the last thing that I

00:37:57.440 --> 00:37:59.500
really had a hard time with is when she announced,

00:37:59.639 --> 00:38:01.519
like I said, she's moving up to North Carolina

00:38:01.519 --> 00:38:06.079
with us. I'm like, why? Why Lord? I got on my

00:38:06.079 --> 00:38:08.559
knees and I'm like, I don't like it one bit.

00:38:09.099 --> 00:38:11.300
So am I going to deal with her on a day to day

00:38:11.300 --> 00:38:13.800
basis when we can't even stay five days together?

00:38:14.929 --> 00:38:17.230
I will understand this, you know, and I'm like

00:38:17.230 --> 00:38:19.789
you have a sense of humor and I was I poured

00:38:19.789 --> 00:38:21.969
out my heart to him and he was big enough to

00:38:21.969 --> 00:38:24.090
take it and until we actually pour our heart

00:38:24.090 --> 00:38:26.530
out to him like that garage I was telling you

00:38:26.530 --> 00:38:29.030
about to get all those feelings and emotions

00:38:29.030 --> 00:38:34.289
that are not of him out We can't be used we can't

00:38:34.289 --> 00:38:36.610
be filled. He can't change our hearts. He can't

00:38:36.610 --> 00:38:38.449
let forgiveness and healing take place until

00:38:38.449 --> 00:38:42.809
we do So, you know, as time went on and she was

00:38:42.809 --> 00:38:44.730
preparing to come up here and we were looking

00:38:44.730 --> 00:38:48.590
for houses for her, you know, the Lord told me,

00:38:49.110 --> 00:38:52.429
you're going to be the key person in her life

00:38:52.429 --> 00:38:55.429
that she's going to see me through. And I'm going

00:38:55.429 --> 00:38:59.710
to use you for that. I'm like, okay, that was

00:38:59.710 --> 00:39:02.070
just a big hefty words and you need to, you're

00:39:02.070 --> 00:39:05.429
going to need to do this because I cannot. You

00:39:05.429 --> 00:39:07.369
know, you're going to have to show me the error

00:39:07.369 --> 00:39:09.309
of my ways. You're going to show me the attitudes

00:39:09.309 --> 00:39:10.750
that are going to come with it. And I knew there

00:39:10.750 --> 00:39:13.190
was going to be attitudes that come with it because

00:39:13.190 --> 00:39:16.730
I'm fleshly. I had hurts, you know, and there

00:39:16.730 --> 00:39:19.010
there's even been times when my kids were born

00:39:19.010 --> 00:39:21.349
that I had Michael and I had to draw the line,

00:39:21.349 --> 00:39:25.610
you know, that she can't be left alone with my

00:39:25.610 --> 00:39:29.650
kids. Because she she knows she picks on them,

00:39:29.650 --> 00:39:33.900
she hurt them with her. Be with her words and

00:39:33.900 --> 00:39:36.760
boundaries had to be set and I wasn't putting

00:39:36.760 --> 00:39:41.400
my kids in that I feel so sorry for You know

00:39:41.400 --> 00:39:44.280
because she's a product of of how she was raised

00:39:44.280 --> 00:39:47.360
Right and and so all her hurts are just projected

00:39:47.360 --> 00:39:51.250
of what was hurt her Yes, and the Lord showed

00:39:51.250 --> 00:39:53.670
that to me too. Oh man, I feel so bad for her

00:39:53.670 --> 00:39:55.829
that she had to go so long before you brought

00:39:55.829 --> 00:39:58.050
her to the Lord, that she had to go so long before

00:39:58.050 --> 00:40:00.869
she could finally start healing. I'm so grateful

00:40:00.869 --> 00:40:05.550
that she got to that. I am too. I am too. I tried

00:40:05.550 --> 00:40:10.429
to witness to her. My kids were born, so it had

00:40:10.429 --> 00:40:16.010
to been, oh, at least since 2000, I'm going to

00:40:16.010 --> 00:40:19.389
say it was before he moved to Pinellas County,

00:40:19.570 --> 00:40:23.369
so it was somewhere between 2000 and 2008 somewhere

00:40:23.369 --> 00:40:26.349
in there we were going down alligator alley of

00:40:26.349 --> 00:40:29.369
Florida From Fort Myers to the other coast and

00:40:29.369 --> 00:40:31.730
the alley was the only way to get there Desolate

00:40:31.730 --> 00:40:34.690
you broke down there. There was nowhere but swamps

00:40:34.690 --> 00:40:36.650
this little highway went right through there

00:40:36.650 --> 00:40:40.530
and Anyway, I remember she was driving. I was

00:40:40.530 --> 00:40:43.309
witnessing to her and I was telling her, you

00:40:43.309 --> 00:40:46.719
know what Jesus Christ did for us and He died

00:40:46.719 --> 00:40:48.920
on the cross for us and we were born of Adam

00:40:48.920 --> 00:40:51.739
and Eve and we have sin in our life because of

00:40:51.739 --> 00:40:54.360
that. They chose to sin and we're all born from

00:40:54.360 --> 00:40:56.960
them and I laid it all out and then told her

00:40:56.960 --> 00:41:00.539
that Christ didn't want heaven without us and

00:41:00.539 --> 00:41:03.059
He died on that cross and took our punishments

00:41:03.059 --> 00:41:06.380
for our sins to make us right with the Father

00:41:06.380 --> 00:41:09.059
so we could go to heaven and we have full forgiveness.

00:41:09.599 --> 00:41:13.239
And I can remember her looking at me and I remember

00:41:13.239 --> 00:41:16.039
thinking that's not her face. That's the devil's

00:41:16.039 --> 00:41:18.679
face because it almost looked like a gargoyle

00:41:18.679 --> 00:41:21.280
when she turned around. She was like seething.

00:41:21.320 --> 00:41:24.019
I'm like, Oh, it took me back. And she says,

00:41:24.519 --> 00:41:26.679
I'm glad you found your crutch, but I don't eat

00:41:26.679 --> 00:41:32.400
one. And I was like, Oh, wow. Okay. And the only

00:41:32.400 --> 00:41:35.699
words that I could mutter and I think I even

00:41:35.699 --> 00:41:37.559
said them out loud was Lord forgive her. She

00:41:37.559 --> 00:41:40.329
doesn't know what she's saying. You know, she

00:41:40.329 --> 00:41:43.829
doesn't know and so I prayed for her all these

00:41:43.829 --> 00:41:46.969
years and then She announced she was coming and

00:41:46.969 --> 00:41:50.190
I was like, oh no, it's real You know and I better

00:41:50.190 --> 00:41:51.909
start you know, and that's when the Lord really

00:41:51.909 --> 00:41:53.869
revealed to me You thought you've forgiven her

00:41:53.869 --> 00:41:56.530
but I don't think you have and that's when the

00:41:56.530 --> 00:41:59.090
Lord forgiven, you know showed me I still need

00:41:59.090 --> 00:42:02.690
to work on things. I Fought it for a few hours

00:42:02.690 --> 00:42:05.369
and probably almost a whole day to be honest

00:42:05.369 --> 00:42:07.739
and more than a few hours, but You know, a whole

00:42:07.739 --> 00:42:10.840
day before, I finally said, okay, Lord, it's

00:42:10.840 --> 00:42:13.699
your will, not mine. She's coming here. You're

00:42:13.699 --> 00:42:15.500
going to have to help us live together and you're

00:42:15.500 --> 00:42:17.659
going to have to make a way here again. My Bible

00:42:17.659 --> 00:42:20.840
verse where there is no way and you're so faithful

00:42:20.840 --> 00:42:22.659
to do it all these years. And I know you're going

00:42:22.659 --> 00:42:26.139
to do it again. And the biggest joy was to lead

00:42:26.139 --> 00:42:30.829
her to the Lord a few years ago. And we, I could

00:42:30.829 --> 00:42:33.550
see the Lord changing her. I could see, you know,

00:42:33.630 --> 00:42:36.550
we're friends. We do things together on a regular

00:42:36.550 --> 00:42:40.130
basis. And it's been a blessing. And she's been,

00:42:40.230 --> 00:42:42.949
she recently, she waited a while to get baptized

00:42:42.949 --> 00:42:44.610
because she wanted to make sure she knew what

00:42:44.610 --> 00:42:46.710
she was doing and understand it all. And she

00:42:46.710 --> 00:42:49.960
was baptized last year. It was just a glorious

00:42:49.960 --> 00:42:53.360
moment. So are things still perfect between us?

00:42:53.400 --> 00:42:56.440
Do we still have issues? Sometimes we do but

00:42:56.440 --> 00:42:59.900
now it's different because she's a Christian

00:42:59.900 --> 00:43:03.039
and I'm a Christian and now Not only are we just

00:43:03.039 --> 00:43:05.039
mother and daughter. We're also sisters in Christ

00:43:05.039 --> 00:43:08.039
and we also Really try to please our Savior.

00:43:08.039 --> 00:43:11.440
So we both trying to take a step back and we

00:43:11.440 --> 00:43:14.000
give each other grace And one day you're gonna

00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:16.019
enter eternity together and all that nonsense

00:43:16.019 --> 00:43:20.539
will be far far behind you Yes, yes, you know

00:43:20.539 --> 00:43:23.820
and I had to heal without the blessing of her

00:43:23.820 --> 00:43:26.840
Without her blessing because she for years never

00:43:26.840 --> 00:43:28.440
wanted to talk about it I remember she asked

00:43:28.440 --> 00:43:31.260
me one time how come you don't like your stepdad

00:43:31.260 --> 00:43:33.719
and looked at her in the eyeballs I said, are

00:43:33.719 --> 00:43:37.449
you really ready to hear it? And she shuddered

00:43:37.449 --> 00:43:39.750
and she said and she's changed a subject so I

00:43:39.750 --> 00:43:42.250
guess she went with it But you know and then

00:43:42.250 --> 00:43:43.630
that's when the Lord revealed to me you need

00:43:43.630 --> 00:43:46.010
to move on you need to heal You need to for you

00:43:46.010 --> 00:43:49.190
know, forgive with my help, you know, because

00:43:49.190 --> 00:43:52.989
you can't do it on your own without her blessing

00:43:52.989 --> 00:43:55.750
and without the blessing of understanding why

00:43:55.750 --> 00:43:58.969
all this happened and You know the Lord orchestrated

00:43:58.969 --> 00:44:02.070
it, you know last year the year before we had

00:44:02.070 --> 00:44:05.400
our talk Completely took me off guard that we

00:44:05.400 --> 00:44:09.159
were gonna have that talk and She now understood

00:44:09.159 --> 00:44:12.119
why I reacted the way I did all these years and

00:44:12.119 --> 00:44:14.719
I understood how she reacted all these years

00:44:14.719 --> 00:44:20.079
I still don't know her story behind her but I

00:44:20.079 --> 00:44:23.300
do know her mother my grandmother and That was

00:44:23.300 --> 00:44:25.679
another heartbreaking moment in my life. My grandmother

00:44:25.679 --> 00:44:30.840
was like the best loving person ever but I never

00:44:30.840 --> 00:44:33.929
saw her true colors and until one day she stayed

00:44:33.929 --> 00:44:37.570
at my house and I saw the manipulation and I

00:44:37.570 --> 00:44:40.349
saw the contention and I saw her using my husband

00:44:40.349 --> 00:44:43.730
against me at that time and how mean she was.

00:44:44.289 --> 00:44:47.329
I was like, it took me, I had to, I remember

00:44:47.329 --> 00:44:49.690
standing there blinking like, is that really

00:44:49.690 --> 00:44:54.789
my grandmother? Oh my gosh, that is so polar

00:44:54.789 --> 00:45:00.300
opposite than what I knew her to be. And I had

00:45:00.300 --> 00:45:03.119
to say something to her and I knew I had to.

00:45:03.159 --> 00:45:07.300
I was a Christian then and I was like, okay,

00:45:07.559 --> 00:45:10.539
you can't stay here. You have to go home now

00:45:10.539 --> 00:45:13.840
because I can't allow this in my house. You know,

00:45:14.119 --> 00:45:17.099
and that was heartbreaking. So then I kind of

00:45:17.099 --> 00:45:20.280
do understand why my mom was the way she was.

00:45:20.340 --> 00:45:23.239
That was the only piece I got to see. I understood.

00:45:24.980 --> 00:45:28.440
Wow. And you know, like you said earlier, Josh,

00:45:29.139 --> 00:45:31.679
that she has her own story, and I don't know

00:45:31.679 --> 00:45:33.679
what it was, but the Lord allowed me to see a

00:45:33.679 --> 00:45:36.900
little bit of it and how she turned out the way

00:45:36.900 --> 00:45:40.139
she did. There is a story behind everybody and

00:45:40.139 --> 00:45:43.360
everybody, how they react. You know, grief comes

00:45:43.360 --> 00:45:46.260
in different ways. Every person is different.

00:45:46.579 --> 00:45:49.480
How we take grief in, how we handle it, how we

00:45:49.480 --> 00:45:52.119
live our life. And it's not until the moment

00:45:52.119 --> 00:45:56.260
we meet Jesus that we can actually handle grief

00:45:56.260 --> 00:46:00.199
the correct way. and He helps us through the

00:46:00.199 --> 00:46:02.179
grief. He helps heal us through the grief. He

00:46:02.179 --> 00:46:05.840
starts it and he finishes it for us and We may

00:46:05.840 --> 00:46:08.659
have to walk through it again You know a couple

00:46:08.659 --> 00:46:11.460
two or three times until we have totally forgiven

00:46:11.460 --> 00:46:14.019
people and those in our lives that need that

00:46:14.019 --> 00:46:18.440
He wants us to forgive So we can be whole and

00:46:18.440 --> 00:46:21.739
we can be usable and he promised us to do that

00:46:21.739 --> 00:46:24.960
for us and he does And like Paul says in the

00:46:24.960 --> 00:46:26.679
New Testament, forgetting the things that are

00:46:26.679 --> 00:46:28.659
behind us and focusing on the things in front

00:46:28.659 --> 00:46:31.059
of us. And that's what Christ wants us to do.

00:46:31.559 --> 00:46:33.320
He doesn't always want us looking in the rear

00:46:33.320 --> 00:46:36.239
view mirror and being stuck. I think looking

00:46:36.239 --> 00:46:38.260
in the rear view is only acceptable if you want

00:46:38.260 --> 00:46:42.400
to compare how far you've come. And to prove

00:46:42.400 --> 00:46:44.599
like, hey, he's done it before, God can do it

00:46:44.599 --> 00:46:48.340
again. Exactly. Right. Not to dwell on who you

00:46:48.340 --> 00:46:52.079
used to be. Right. Yeah. Well, I just wanted

00:46:52.079 --> 00:46:55.619
to, like, this has been, like, encouraging because

00:46:55.619 --> 00:46:59.199
there are a lot of people who have Catholic relatives

00:46:59.199 --> 00:47:01.500
who don't want anything to do with Jesus or the

00:47:01.500 --> 00:47:03.780
Church because of their past with the Catholic

00:47:03.780 --> 00:47:07.579
Church. And we've had pastors that used to be

00:47:07.579 --> 00:47:12.420
Catholic. And, you know, your mom's story, she

00:47:12.420 --> 00:47:14.159
used to be Catholic, didn't want anything to

00:47:14.159 --> 00:47:16.980
do with the Church. And it just goes to show

00:47:16.980 --> 00:47:21.400
that prayers do get answered. And there is hope

00:47:21.400 --> 00:47:24.460
for people praying for their relatives that seem

00:47:24.460 --> 00:47:27.860
far from the Lord. I know my biological mom,

00:47:27.860 --> 00:47:30.340
she grew up Catholic and she doesn't want anything

00:47:30.340 --> 00:47:35.199
to do with Jesus. And I'm like, what did they

00:47:35.199 --> 00:47:38.780
do to you? So we can just keep praying for people

00:47:38.780 --> 00:47:43.260
like that. And because God can change anybody.

00:47:43.380 --> 00:47:45.380
Look at Saul, he used to kill Christians and

00:47:45.380 --> 00:47:49.460
then He turned into Paul and it's just amazing

00:47:49.460 --> 00:47:54.119
what he can do in people's lives. And you get

00:47:54.119 --> 00:47:56.219
to have a front row seat eating with popcorn

00:47:56.219 --> 00:47:58.639
if you want you to see it. It's really awesome

00:47:58.639 --> 00:48:00.960
to watch. Oh, what a relief that must have been

00:48:00.960 --> 00:48:03.719
to bring her to the Lord. And then another thing

00:48:03.719 --> 00:48:07.239
that I was reminded of when you, a lot of couples

00:48:07.239 --> 00:48:10.969
are married. There's a lot to get used to in

00:48:10.969 --> 00:48:13.449
the relationship and one of the things I had

00:48:13.449 --> 00:48:16.309
to learn was it's not wrong. It's just different

00:48:16.309 --> 00:48:19.150
You just have to be happy that you know, for

00:48:19.150 --> 00:48:22.130
example, the dishwasher was loaded You know doesn't

00:48:22.130 --> 00:48:24.570
matter how as long as all the dishes fit in there

00:48:24.570 --> 00:48:30.590
just as it's not wrong. It's just different It

00:48:30.590 --> 00:48:33.909
took me a while to learn that yeah, unfortunately,

00:48:33.969 --> 00:48:37.650
I'm I'm a hard learner sometimes. Yeah, we all

00:48:37.650 --> 00:48:43.179
are Yeah, I had a lot of learning that. And it

00:48:43.179 --> 00:48:44.960
was good, though. It's a good lesson to learn.

00:48:44.980 --> 00:48:48.599
And I hope people can learn it early on. Yeah.

00:48:49.039 --> 00:48:51.260
And I'll never forget one first time learning

00:48:51.260 --> 00:48:53.840
it after so many times of Michael showing me

00:48:53.840 --> 00:48:56.280
grace. He looked up at me and said, Isn't there

00:48:56.280 --> 00:48:58.300
more than one way to do things that we can get

00:48:58.300 --> 00:49:01.380
to the end? And it took me and stopped me in

00:49:01.380 --> 00:49:05.760
my tracks. I'm like, Wow. Like, I guess. I would

00:49:05.760 --> 00:49:08.519
tell Shelly... You're being so nice about it.

00:49:08.860 --> 00:49:13.119
Yeah, I was not as gracious as Mike. I would

00:49:13.119 --> 00:49:15.539
tell Shelly, like, we could do this two ways.

00:49:15.780 --> 00:49:17.820
You can do it or you can have me do it. But if

00:49:17.820 --> 00:49:19.719
you tell me how to do it, then you better do

00:49:19.719 --> 00:49:22.340
it because you already know the best way. Yeah.

00:49:22.960 --> 00:49:24.820
It took him a while to get there. He wasn't always

00:49:24.820 --> 00:49:28.219
that nice either. But I think he was so exasperated

00:49:28.219 --> 00:49:30.739
he didn't know what else to say. Yeah, I think,

00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:33.719
you know, I think that was his desperate way

00:49:33.719 --> 00:49:36.460
of saying something has to change and it got

00:49:36.460 --> 00:49:40.079
my attention. Yeah. You know, but yeah, he, you

00:49:40.079 --> 00:49:42.860
know, and if I wasn't always the one people weren't

00:49:42.860 --> 00:49:44.559
going to tell me what to do because I've been

00:49:44.559 --> 00:49:47.119
told what to do on my life with my mother, you

00:49:47.119 --> 00:49:50.059
know, where to turn, how to turn, when to turn,

00:49:50.199 --> 00:49:52.699
what to wear, what, you know, everything. I mean,

00:49:53.079 --> 00:49:57.059
so no, don't tell me. And that was my own fleshly

00:49:57.059 --> 00:49:59.639
rebellious side. God had to change that because

00:49:59.639 --> 00:50:03.920
it was not easy to change perfectionist with

00:50:03.920 --> 00:50:07.579
that, you know, much of trying to control everything

00:50:07.579 --> 00:50:10.239
either. Yeah, the letting go is hard. And then

00:50:10.239 --> 00:50:12.420
another thing I resonated with was you'd have

00:50:12.420 --> 00:50:14.460
a whole conversation of how your husband would

00:50:14.460 --> 00:50:16.880
react. And then you tell him and he's like, why

00:50:16.880 --> 00:50:19.940
would you think that? You know, the whole conversation,

00:50:20.059 --> 00:50:23.619
you're like, oh. I'll never forget the time I

00:50:23.619 --> 00:50:25.659
told him that. I'm like, I already had the argument

00:50:25.659 --> 00:50:27.019
in my head. He goes, what do you mean? I said,

00:50:27.340 --> 00:50:30.440
you did it. I argued with you. I had the answer

00:50:30.440 --> 00:50:31.739
of everything you were going to come back with,

00:50:31.739 --> 00:50:34.800
and I fixed it. He says, all without me present?

00:50:34.860 --> 00:50:38.179
I'm like, yep. And at that moment when I was

00:50:38.179 --> 00:50:40.159
so proudly telling him that, I'm like, oh, wow,

00:50:40.179 --> 00:50:42.900
that really, really stunk. You know, look, you

00:50:42.900 --> 00:50:46.260
just left him completely out of life. I'm like,

00:50:46.400 --> 00:50:48.719
yeah, OK, that didn't work. Never mind when we

00:50:48.719 --> 00:50:50.360
lose the argument and then you're mad at us.

00:50:51.099 --> 00:50:53.860
And we have no idea or like why are you mad you're

00:50:53.860 --> 00:50:56.139
like you want to know I'm like I have no way

00:50:56.139 --> 00:50:58.719
of knowing You're not kidding. There have been

00:50:58.719 --> 00:51:02.780
so many times that I was upset with him hold

00:51:02.780 --> 00:51:06.300
them off in my head had the argument fixed it

00:51:06.300 --> 00:51:10.019
and he had no idea all this had happened and

00:51:10.320 --> 00:51:13.820
It was eye -opening. I mean the power of our

00:51:13.820 --> 00:51:16.400
minds and our thoughts and where we carry ourselves

00:51:16.400 --> 00:51:19.099
to You know, God has really been showing me that

00:51:19.099 --> 00:51:21.800
these last several years. Mm -hmm The reason

00:51:21.800 --> 00:51:25.420
why the enemy likes to play in our mind It starts

00:51:25.420 --> 00:51:29.079
in the mind exactly. Yeah, that's why we have

00:51:29.079 --> 00:51:32.159
to choose where we're gonna dwell and You know,

00:51:32.159 --> 00:51:34.739
I'm really trying to learn more scripture, you

00:51:34.739 --> 00:51:36.960
know, I've always kind of had scripture memory

00:51:36.960 --> 00:51:39.809
in my mind, but you know Right now, I think the

00:51:39.809 --> 00:51:42.289
Lord is trying to teach me and not be tripped

00:51:42.289 --> 00:51:46.090
up. You know, just dwell on scripture, Psalm

00:51:46.090 --> 00:51:49.030
91. I'm halfway through remembering that. And

00:51:49.030 --> 00:51:51.909
it's been wonderful. And when I go to choose

00:51:51.909 --> 00:51:54.090
to dwell on something I shouldn't, I focus back

00:51:54.090 --> 00:51:56.590
and try to go back to my scriptures and memorize

00:51:56.590 --> 00:52:00.309
that instead of dwelling where my mind shouldn't.

00:52:00.309 --> 00:52:05.510
Good tips. Yeah. Elise, thank you so much for

00:52:05.510 --> 00:52:09.230
sharing. What would be a very vulnerable past

00:52:09.230 --> 00:52:12.130
with us and our listeners? Thank you for being

00:52:12.130 --> 00:52:16.190
open and honest about it and on your faith journey

00:52:16.190 --> 00:52:20.090
Which clearly has holes in it from you know disbelief

00:52:20.090 --> 00:52:23.530
unbelief as you grew into the pastor's wife that

00:52:23.530 --> 00:52:26.690
you became I'm very very honored that you shared

00:52:26.690 --> 00:52:29.429
your story with us today And I'm very very proud

00:52:29.429 --> 00:52:31.570
of how far you've come and that you've allowed

00:52:31.570 --> 00:52:34.349
God to manage Despite the fact that you want

00:52:34.349 --> 00:52:37.320
to hold the steering wheel I'm really, really,

00:52:37.320 --> 00:52:40.980
really proud of you. Thank you. And I'm really

00:52:40.980 --> 00:52:43.019
grateful and thankful to be on your show. I've

00:52:43.019 --> 00:52:45.400
really enjoyed it myself. Thank you for having

00:52:45.400 --> 00:52:49.139
me. Thank you for being with us. And we ask the

00:52:49.139 --> 00:52:51.980
audience, if this has blessed you, if someone

00:52:51.980 --> 00:52:54.619
came to your mind, we pray that you just pass

00:52:54.619 --> 00:52:56.619
this along to them and then they can encourage

00:52:56.619 --> 00:52:59.820
them and others. And with that, we will talk

00:52:59.820 --> 00:53:02.519
to you next week. Thanks for tuning in to today's

00:53:02.519 --> 00:53:06.010
episode. Listen, let's stay connected. Come follow

00:53:06.010 --> 00:53:08.510
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00:53:08.510 --> 00:53:11.230
where you can find the latest and say, hey, it's

00:53:11.230 --> 00:53:13.789
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00:53:13.789 --> 00:53:15.809
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You can make donations through any of the links

00:53:18.429 --> 00:53:21.030
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00:53:24.269 --> 00:53:27.889
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00:53:27.889 --> 00:53:30.920
always reminds us why we do this. Until next

00:53:30.920 --> 00:53:33.820
time, remember God is always working, miracles

00:53:33.820 --> 00:53:35.960
are real, and your breakthrough could be just

00:53:35.960 --> 00:53:38.960
around the corner. Keep believing, keep expecting,

00:53:39.139 --> 00:53:41.320
and don't forget to share this with someone who

00:53:41.320 --> 00:53:43.719
needs hope today. We'll talk to you next week.