Hey there, welcome to the God's Goodness podcast.
We are your host, Josh and Shelly Hankins, and
we're here to share real stories of God's power,
stories of hope, healing, and miracles that will
strengthen your faith. No matter what you're
walking through, we want to remind you that God
is good and he's still moving today. Let's dive
in. Today's guest is a powerful woman of God
whose heart for kingdom unity and community transformation
is truly contagious. Jenna Martin is the visionary
behind Green Pastures Ministry, an incredible
movement that's rallying the body of Christ to
bring revival, reformation, and restoration to
cities across America. Through her leadership,
she's helping churches, ministries, businesses,
and believers come together to advance Heaven's
agenda and meet real -world needs with Kingdom
Solutions. Her heart is not just for programs,
but for people, building relationships that reflect
the heart of Jesus and creating space for God's
presence to move powerfully in everyday life.
We were introduced to Jenna by our dear friend
and past guest, Ben Hinton, who told us, you've
got to have her on. What God is doing through
her is remarkable. And now we're so honored to
share her story with you. Get ready to be encouraged,
stretched and stirred because what Jenna carries
is something the church needs in this hour. Welcome
to the God's Goodness podcast, Jenna Martin.
Thank you for having me. This is amazing. I am
so glad you got to be with us in person today.
We'll just disclose that. So she's a super special
guest. So before we begin, will you please start
us off with the opening prayer? Yes, absolutely.
Thank you. Gracious God, we just thank you so
much for this time, for this space that you have
created for this podcast to touch and reach lives.
We just pray for every person on the other end
of this recording. We just pray for you to guide
our words, for you to guide what needs to be
spoken, what needs to be heard, for you to just
reach through and touch the hearts of many that
are needing your touch, Jesus. We thank you for
all the ways. that you are moving and speaking
in this very moment in your precious name, Jesus,
amen. Amen. Thank you for that. Absolutely. Now,
you have a lot to unpack. Where would you like
to start for this episode? Yeah, I think starting
with, you know, green pastures and what it is
and how it came to be could be a great start.
but I'm curious what you think people need to
hear. Well, so let's hear what Green Pastures
is. Yeah. Because I don't know what it is. And
I know there's a story that led you to that.
There's got to be a reason why you need to encourage
people, why you feel it, right? Because that's
not on every Christian's heart. It's not in every
Christian's heart to minister to every single
person and make disciples of all nations by going
on missions to every country, no demand. Right?
And some Christians are one -on -one that they
just let the Lord put someone in front of them
and then they... So I know you have a story.
Yeah. And so I'd like to hear what Green Pastures
is specifically and how did you come to it? Yeah.
Yeah, that's a great place to start. So Green
Pastures is a ministry that I started in the
last two years. We focus on one -on -one spiritual
companioning and... spiritual retreats and then
I do a lot of partnerships so to break that down
spiritual direction is something that's been
around in the early church where it's a form
of discipleship but it's really like an errand
in a hurr where you're walking alongside of those
in leadership and helping them carry that burden
and walking alongside and discerning the Holy
and what what the Holy Spirit is doing within
someone's life and being able to point that out
and call them closer to God. So Green Pastures
is a place for people to experience that. My
heart is everybody but being the the history
that I have working in ministry. I've been a
missionary, been in ministry full -time, part
-time for the last decade in many facets that
I've experienced for now and what that's like.
And I know that a lot of people, I think the
statistics from the Barna Group is like 70 plus
percent of pastors. consider yearly walking away
from full -time positions because it's such a
heavy burden and it's so much and then I think
it's even higher with missionaries. It's like
80 % leave because they don't have the support
on an emotional spiritual level that they need.
Honestly, yeah, you mentioned spiritual companioning
and I thought, you know, isn't that basically
just discipleship? And it's something that I
lacked. When I first became a Christian, I had
zero. You had to go to certain things in church
like, hey, sign up for this. You can go to this.
You can go to this. But nobody walked up and
said, challenged me. Nobody walked up and told
me, hey, you should read this. I got a lot out
of this. No one asked me what my story was. I
literally had zero discipleship. And the only
reason that I sit here today at a table speaking
about God's goodness is because God discipled
me where nobody else would. Otherwise, I might
have just walked away. And I think, and I've
heard this before, and I've said this before,
that if you call someone to God, you put Jesus
in their life and then walk away from them, it
is no different than taking a baby that's just
newborn and leaving it on the floor of your house,
and leaving and saying, come and see you when
you're an adult. Right? It is so irresponsible
to do that. Nobody in their right mind would
do that. The whole purpose of having kids is
to raise them to be better people than you were.
So the whole person discipling someone is to
be a better disciple than you were. Absolutely.
So I have a big heart for that because I see
where it's abandoned by many of the culture of
the church. Yes. I completely agree. And that
is my heart. I think your question, isn't it
just discipleship? Yes. And I think of discipleship
as really some of that formational just coming
to Christ moments where often when I'm doing
spiritual companioning, it would be with somebody
mature in the Lord often in leadership positions
where it's more of a bit of a lateral, but still
pouring in where discipleship is a bit more formational
and learning some of those routines. I think
that's how my spiritual director and I have often
talked about it. She's like, there's subtle differences
between the two, but they're in the same family
and it's the same heart, you know? But yes, it's
definitely a form of discipleship. I've heard,
you know, my wife like to say, you're like the
five people you're showing yourself with the
most. And an older pastor that I'm still friends
with, he had said that it's more like a brick
system, how you want to do it. Where you have
three people on your level, you and two others.
So that lateral. You have two people below you,
right? Those are your disciples. You have two
people you look up to that mentor you. And I
thought, that's an incredible example. Cause
you know, if you're like five people, then who's
the worst one? Like if I want to be like these
awesome people, then I'm the weak link. And so
I really like the lateral. spiritual companioning
that you mentioned. Yeah. Yeah. So did they sign
up and like for a program for so many sessions
or is it sessions? Like how does it work then?
Such a great question. So it typically is sessions
and the first one I offer as a consultation just
for free just to be like what is this? The discovery
call. Yeah the discovery call. Like are we like
a fit? Like because I do really follow the Holy
Spirit in it. And so every session with every
person is going to look different based on who
they are and what their needs are. And so knowing
if we're a good fit, I think is always really
important. But then after that, they can make
the decision. Like I haven't created packages,
but packages is really something that I think
in the next, you know, two year plan to offer.
But right now it's just, Hey, let's just take
this and see. what I need, you know, as opposed
to counseling, spiritual direction isn't something
that you would do weekly. It's more of like,
let's do this every three to four weeks because
when we do meet, it's like a 60 to 90 minute
session and we go really deep and doing that
all the time can be like really refreshing and
filling, but it can be a little tiring to do
that all the time. So typically it's more of
like a once a month or bi -weekly depending on
the need. Yeah. So how did you get called into
this? Like, I mean, I've never heard of it before.
Yeah. Right. So is this an idea that God impressed
upon you or is this something you leaned into
and found someone else because of something you
found it? Yeah. Both and yes. I think that that's
maybe we're sharing some of my history would
really come in handy to be like, how did we get
here? Yeah. So. Over a decade ago, I was going
through counseling and really struggling with
just breakthrough. You know, I was in counseling,
but I have quite a bit of trauma in my past,
you know. There's some sexual abuse there. There's
some childhood trauma there. There are some things
that are deep and heavy. And I had a young adult
pastor I was serving. in a church, in the children's
ministry, and just a part of the church in a
lot of different ways. And the young adult pastor
is like, hey, I really want to offer this thing
called personal spiritual formation, where we
walk through this like really awesome. He was
like such a hype man, you know, like he was a
youth pastor at one point. So, you know, there
was like, this is going to be great. And you're
like, OK, cool. And so we did it. We walked through
this personal spiritual formation and essentially.
The biggest thing that he talked about was really
like, why do we believe what we don't believe?
Like, let's stop and think about the behaviors
and why do we operate and why do we connect with
God the way that we do? So it really extrapolated
your identity and shame and sin and forgiveness
and all these really big concepts that sometimes
are talked about within congregations sometimes
are kind of like, these are hard, but we just
dove in and in that they encouraged us to just
notice everything that was coming up and journal
it and I'm telling you I was just wrecked like
in in the coolest way I just felt like God just
really met me and answered. a lot of the things
that I was seeking, you know, was just showing
me his love and his goodness. And then so the
next time that this pastor offered us to go through
this, he asked me to lead it for the women. Like
when we break out into groups, he's like, I'm
going to do this again. And like a couple months
in this, like I think we did it in like the fall.
He's like, I'm going to do a spring session.
Do you want to lead it? And I was like, really?
And he was like, yeah, yeah, I think you'd be
good for it. And I was like, I mean, sure, you
know, because I was going to him and I was like,
this is it in me, you know, and I was transparent
and so led through it again, again, met me where
I was, wrecked me, you know, and so walked through
it like twice in a year's time frame. And then
I was within that year, I was being called to
missions and I knew it, but I didn't know what
that looked like. I ended up being called to
the World Race, which could be a whole nother
story, but it's essentially a mission strip where
you go to 11 countries in 11 months and you serve,
you're living very simply out of your backpack.
I mean, it's like really your own kind of kingdom
journey, like living like Jesus did. Yes, yes.
Well, you got, that's what you're taking. That's
it. It's definitely a calling. Yeah, it really
was. Like, I took those bucket showers proudly
and I was like, how did I get called in? It sounds
difficult when you consider that you're in 11
countries in 11 months. Oh. That you're only
ever in a country on average a month. Yeah. And
so just as you establish, you're gone and establish
and gone and establish. In a new culture, you
have to learn, right? Because you can't preach
Jesus to a culture that you don't know. 100%.
that was the challenge for me because I was building
these connections so intensely because I think
that's who I'm created to be is relational so
I was building those relationships and then I
was like oh my gosh I might never see this person
again, you know? But I say a lot of that to say
what was cool about the world race was the guy
from The seminary that my pastor went to was
the Alliance Theological Seminary up in Nyack
that helped develop this program. Had a partnership
with the World Race and was actually leading
my training camp. So I go and one of the first
things that I come to understand is that I'm
going to go through this program that I just
went through twice in a year. for a third time.
So was the third time the charm? I mean yeah
it was just really cool because when we were
going through it the first time we were seeing
these videos of the guy leading you know some
of these concepts and going in depth and sermons
and stuff with it in a sense teachings more so
but to see him in the flesh, to know that this
was the mentor of this pastor that I was under
at the time was like, this is so God. Like, what
are the odds that he's leading my training camp?
So I say all of that to say that God made it
really clear that this personal spiritual formation
was something that I really needed to just run
with. and take to heart and lean into. And I
feel like I really took it serious. And so it
was really something that did have an impact
and that I felt like I just dove in. And so the
World Race and the missions organization I was
with at the time, they really fostered a lot
of those concepts and living them out. And so
it was like... It was like the Lord prepared
the way. He was preparing my heart before I even
went on this wild missions journey to work me
through some of these things that I needed to
do that missions work and to really serve out
of a place of acknowledging. my weaknesses and
things that I need to heal in, you know? And
being like, okay, this is some of my stuff. Because
we all have it, you know? We all have that stuff,
whatever it might be. And so I was in a very
humbled, at least I thought, you know, at the
time, there was definitely more humbling to come.
But I was in more of a humbled place to be able
to receive, I believe, what God was doing to
get me ready for the world race. Yeah, he humbled
you just enough to do it. Right. Because he doesn't
over humble us. He knows that we are layered
like onions or cake or whatever it is you want
to be associated with. And that if he were to
just strip us to the core, it would break us.
Yeah. And he is way too gentle to do that. So
he takes off a little layer after a little layer
after a little layer after a little layer. And
then when we die, even if we never make it to
the core of the issues. That onion is done because
we have a new one where we don't have any of
the horrible things that happen to that new flesh
that our spirit now gets to inhabit. So it's
a whole lot better. But while we're here, this
whole process is so that we can learn his goodness
better, that we can repent from his kindness,
not from guilt and shame. Right? It's a different
ball game. And so this whole life that we have
with this body that is broken, that is abused,
that is sinful, That whole relationship with
this body is going to be over with. And God is
gentle while we're here to sanctify us. And the
reason we suffer so much is because we resist
this change. And we resist it the most, I believe,
because our body knows that when we die, we can't
take it with us. It's like kicking and screaming.
I'm such a visual person. I see some of those
concepts you're speaking of like visually. It's
like, well, yeah, how many times do I kick and
scream and want my own way in a matter? Almost
all the time. Yeah. You know, we've said in past
episodes that when we talk to God, we don't wait
for his answer because we've already made up
our mind what he's going to say. Totally. And
he's like, well, this is what God wants me to
do. Like, are you sure? I was like, you got really
through that quickly. Yeah. And I know people
that have prayed about something and they're
still praying about it two years later Yeah,
so clearly they're in and again, they might be
doing the opposite. Oh, God doesn't want me to
go because I'm pushing you off the door I need
you to go. Yeah But I can promise you you cannot
outweigh God and you can't go faster than he's
willing to go It just won't happen. You're gonna
go always go the right time for him Amen. Yeah
And the footsteps right, you know the in the
sand when there's two steps if it says we walk
inside We know someone's where I carried you
but that long group is where you're kicking and
screaming That's not part of it, but it should
have been So what other challenges did you have
that helped you go for your mission for your
not division trips But your mission your goal
that you're on now The green pastures what other
what revelation did you receive? through these
mission trips through this Getting closer, God,
through this humbling, what's steered the ship
toward it more? Yeah, great question. Great way
to bring it back. I know I can get so excited
and be like, oh, there's this and there's this
thing. They all work together, guys, you know,
because in my mind they do. But yeah, so on a
more recent level, and I share that because that
was really the Lord laying the foundation. And
then when I went long term, that was another
time of me. doing the spiritual formation and
started living that, walking that out more. And
so it became clear that was my sweet spot. So
when I came back from the field, which I was
in a pretty rough place when I came back, not
from the World Race, but when I went long term
after the World Race, and it really started me
on a healing journey where I was just seeking
really deep, intentional healing. body, mind,
and spirit completely, faced a lot of burnout,
exhaustion, health problems on the field. And
I felt like I was in a really good place when
I, you know, started to get back into ministry
back in like 2021. And then I left that ministry
position in 2023. And I think kind of the crux
of when it became abundantly clear that everything
that I did the last decade snowballed me to start
this ministry was when in 2023 I had a cancer
diagnosis and it was a skin cancer it was in
situ which is my brother works in the medical
field and he said if you have to get a cancer
diagnosis this is the kind you want and I was
like okay thank you and so but nonetheless it
was a season of what does this mean because there's
a time period of waiting before they can actually
go in there and discover what how far the cancer
spread or what what this is really like you know
you know what kind it is but there's a lot you
don't know and That like month or month and a
half of not knowing just was like a very heavy
time. And then even waiting after the post -op
was just like, God, I know I'm made to do more
than what I'm doing in this very moment, you
know, because at the moment I was just left my
job. I was in a state of exhaustion again. I'm
like, how did I how did I get here again? What
am I missing? Why do I need this lesson again?
Yeah, why do I need this lesson? And he reminded
me of this season I was in when I first came
back from the field where I had this pastor look
at me and say, God cares more about you than
what you can do for him. And I was like, yeah.
And so it was this season when I was not really
working because I Was in that healing phase where
I was like God Cares about your recovery. He
cares about you being your whole self and not
just you Serving all the time. He cares more
about you right now. He cares more about your
leg this cancer leaving and all of this more
than you know, you know and so many beautiful
little godwinks of ways he just showed up in
that season, like didn't have to pay for my electric
or my gas for like two or three months. Every
time I went to pay it, it was comped. Wow. That's
a good problem. Just these really cool things
where it was a stressful season, but he made
it like, hey, I see you and I got you. So in
the questioning and to answer your question that
long way to it. all of the questioning of like,
what am I doing? He's like, you know what I've
called you to do. Like, I want you to, I want
you to really launch this ministry that I've
laid on your heart because the thing that kept
kind of coming up was after working on the field
long -term and doing this women's ministry and
walking out spiritual formation retreats and
doing the one -on -ones on a regular. When I
came back from the field and I was healing and
doing different odd jobs and part -time ministry
here and there, I kept trying to infuse a lot
of the spiritual formation, spiritual direction
stuff into the role I was in. I was kind of rubbing
up against like, okay, but this isn't really
like your job fully. Like you got to do other
stuff, but I was... I was so passionate about
it that it was like I could only really do so
much of of me you know does that does that make
sense yeah you were limited by like their structures
that they had in place already yeah because it
was like yeah this is really cool that you do
this Shanna and it was respected and appreciated
but it wasn't technically my job. Like the place
for it. Yeah. It needed its own space it sounded
like. Exactly and I just kept crying out. I'm
like I feel limited. I feel like I need a platform.
He's like yeah so let's start one like let's
do this and I'm like wait for real? Like why
not? Yeah why not? So I remember distinctly I
was going on a little retreat with a very dear
friend. She has her own ministry and it's just
like a woman of so much faith and conviction
and, you know, I've shared ideas with her and
she's like the cheerleader kind. She's like,
yes, you need to do this. Absolutely, you know.
And so she started asking the right questions
that were already things I thought of, but I
just didn't share it with anybody. I was just
like, what would I name it? And what would I
be doing? What would this look like? And so she
starts asking and I had all the answers to the
question. She's like, you have this formed. Like
you need to do this. And so that was when it
became abundantly clear the name of the ministry
and what the mission was, was when we went up
to the Adirondacks. We were both having a challenging
year and our birthdays are both in August. So
we went up the end of August and celebrated our
birthdays. And it was right like maybe a week
and a half after I had my surgery to have the
cancer removed, maybe two weeks. So I was kind
of limited, but I was just like, no, I'm doing
this anyway, you know? And it was just like,
God met me. He just met me in the mountains like
he always does, you know, and so it's like, yes
This is real So, mm -hmm. Yeah, it reminds me
of You know all these these things that happen
to you and the astoundingness that we have that
God could love us so much And it reminds me of
what a pastor I'd heard recently say I don't
know how old this pastor is. I only have heard
a recording I don't remember his name. So I forgive
me, but he said that he's convinced That when
he goes to heaven that Jesus is going to ask
us one question and that question is do you believe
I love you? Because I think as people on earth,
we have a really hard time especially with Equating
love on a god level to what we experience as
people right? So, you know You can only love
your father in heaven as much as you loved your
father on earth And my father on earth was very
conditional. He might not have been but that's
how I perceived it and so I feel like I need
to do things, right, works based without ever
having a Catholic background. I feel works based
that I need to please God, right? As if I could
let him down since I'm not doing anything to
hold him up. And it blows my mind when I heard
that question. Do you believe I love you? Like,
yeah, I do. You know, I just sometimes don't
think I qualify. Yeah. But I believe that you
do it. I just think you're wrong. And how silly
is that from our standpoint? To tell the God
of the universe that sacrificed his son for us,
that we're not worthy. Don't you think you know
that? Don't you think he would say, you know
what? I'm just going to pull my son off the table
here. I'm not going to give him to you. You guys
aren't worthy. You're right. But he didn't. And
Jesus said, hey, I don't really want to go through
this. And we don't get to hear what God said.
But Jesus asked three times and he still went
through it. So God clearly said no. I'm not letting
this cup pass from you, right? And so we have
to also be able to hear no from our father as
well and know that it's for our best interest
for the best interest of one of others children
So when you are you're at green pastures now
How much more healing are you having? While you're
ministering to other people like are the revelations
that you get while you're like I feel like I
feel like it's a symbiotic thing. This isn't
just you pouring into somebody. I feel like you
would be getting something as well, I guess is
my question. Are you getting healed further as
you do this? That's such a great question. Yeah,
I believe it's a yes. I think that when I first
started doing this work, I saw it a lot more
because I felt like I was just so hungry for
more. so I saw the healing happening more. I
think now I definitely feel like there are moments
and glimpses when I'm pouring in and I'm listening
where the Lord is ministering to me and is touching
on parts of my story and is reminding me. So
yeah, it feels like it definitely still happens.
I feel like it will probably always happen. I
think that when I started though, I felt like
I was in a little bit more of a broken place.
So it felt more significant where now it feels
more like a hug. You know, like in the earlier
stages, it felt like a puzzle piece and like
this, aha, where now it's like, hey, I got you,
look at this. And it's still a healing touch
nonetheless, but a different form. than maybe
when I was earlier in the healing phases, like
eight or nine years ago, you know? And so another
follow -up question to your symbiosis, the people
that you minister with, the people that you partner
with alongside in your spiritual coordination,
how many breakthroughs have you seen for people?
Oh my gosh, so many. so many breakthroughs and
sometimes sometimes you don't know what they
are completely you know because I think I think
kind of the beauty and the the tension is if
doing this kind of work is the obedience and
knowing that like I'm just really being a vessel
and I don't need to know what what all fruit
come from it, but just knowing that I'm speaking
what's on my heart to speak. And there was a
few moments where with one of my clients, she
was like, this moment that we had such and such
was so big. And I sat and I was like, I don't
even remember. You know, it was like weeks ago.
I was like, I don't remember. I didn't realize
it was that big, you know? But so I think that
I've had similar reactions with my spiritual
director where I was like, this was really big.
She's like, well, I still feel like, you know,
this seems like it needs work. I'm like, no,
I feel so much in this. And and so I think it's
funny because it's it's sometimes hard to measure.
And I don't know that I need to really measure
it. Like I think that it comes full circle sometimes.
And you're like, well, like. I can see the shifts
based on our conversation, but when and how it
happens sometimes is the beauty of the mystery.
You know, because it's like sometimes we're planting,
sometimes we're watering, and sometimes we're
full on just like reaping the harvest. And it's
not always in the moment that we know what we're
doing. Really, it speaks to a discussion I've
had with people that likens this to when we're
with God, right? We're in the moments and He's
telling us, He's measuring us by what we've done,
right? We were already judged worthy by the blood
of Christ, but now we're being measured by our
works. How many people are going to hold their
hand up and think, oh, I did all these great
works? Or are we going to be really humbled like,
man, I'm going to get really slaughtered here.
Like I'm in because of Jesus. That's it. Like
I've done nothing worth value. And it's going
to have these moments where He's going to say
things to you. that you've done and helped people,
that I've done and helped people that we weren't
even really aware of. Right. The magnitude of
it, where he's just going to lift us up. Why
would he need to beat us up? We're already doing
it right there in his presence. I promise we're
going to be like, oh man, I'm such a horrible.
And he's like, you did this, you did this for
my kids, and you did this for my kids, and you
did this, and this right here. Oh, that made
me so happy because this one did this to all
these other kids. Right. And I don't think he's
going to focus on the negative. I don't think
it's. in his nature once we're in his presence
that we've already been judged righteous by Jesus
that that will not be an uncomfortable conversation
but this is what that reminds me of right he's
like i don't even remember what we talked about
right i don't have no recollection of doing anything
good for you and god's like oh man did you ever
i think that's amazing and it's such a glimpse
of what that'll look like for us as believers
when we're confronted with our Heavenly Father,
you know, He's sitting on His throne of mercy
and we're like, oh man, I know Jesus got me covered,
but I shouldn't be here. Amen. And I think that
is a wonderful, wonderful thing that you do for
people. Praise the Lord. Thank you. I think it's,
I think it's one of those things that it just
felt like I couldn't do anything else, you know?
Like there's just certain times, there's just
certain seasons where you're like... it kept
coming up. Like I was walking people through
different inner healings, just friends. It would
come up and I'm like, I can't not share this
with them knowing how much healing the Lord has
given me through this kind of work. I can't not
share it. Like I can't not do this. So it felt
like it just kind of kind of fell in my lap naturally.
And I'm just like, yeah, I can't do anything
else now. How old were you when you first came
into the Lord? Yeah, that's a good question.
I always have a hard time knowing that like complete
answer, but I say my 20s is when I really came
to relationship with him. Okay. So I was 21,
however, like we went to, you know, EBS and stuff
like that. And I remember accepting Jesus and
being baptized at like maybe eight. And taking
that seriously, but similarly, I felt like, you
know, my family life wasn't consistently going
to church. It was kind of hit or miss here and
there. And I didn't really feel disciples. Like,
like someone was saying, this is how we follow.
You know, my mom, you know, taught me how to
pray and you know, my dad was as well. So I saw
glooms in pieces here and there, but the world
was still very mixed up and I believe that that's
when you were saved yeah when you when your heart
was formed just because you didn't have it all
together until you were 21 I don't believe that
he held it against you that once you say I here's
my heart lord he had it absolutely and you he
wasn't going to let go of it yeah and uh so I
asked these questions to ask did you think that
when you were in your VBS that this is where
you would be with the Lord right I know you didn't
think that when you were 13 14 right did you
ever think this is I'm gonna do something I'm
gonna be on mission trips I'm gonna start a ministry
I'm gonna partner with people and we're gonna
we're gonna spiritually walk through and work
through things together was that even a glimmer
in your you know not really however my grandmother
was a missionary on the Sioux Indian Reservation
in South Dakota when I was young. And I just
thought it was the most beautiful thing in all
the things she talked about. So I really admired
her tenacity and all that she did for the Lord.
Like I just, I saw so much love in her, like
in glimpses of when I got to spend time with
her, that it made such an impression that I was
like, wow. And you know, going to Alliance churches
often growing up. We talked a lot about missionaries.
So I always thought they were really cool, you
know, but it was never something that was like,
I want to be this when I grow up. I was just
like, I had admiration. So it was something that
I held very close to my heart, like, wow, that's
really cool. But I didn't know fully what missionaries
did or that that that was what the Lord had.
But looking back, I can see that any time I heard
about missions, something in me got excited.
at a young age. Like I remember being like, wow,
that's so cool. You know, or like just, wow,
I admire that. So I could see glimmers, but who
knew that I would go to over, you know, a dozen
countries at one point, you know. So you fully
began to understand who Jesus was, your relationship
with Jesus when you were 21. Yeah. How much brokenness
did you experience before? you had an understanding
who Jesus was and how much did that alter what
you thought your relationship should be with
Jesus? Some good questions. So much brokenness.
I don't even think I could articulate the brokenness
until I was in my mid to late 20s, if I'm being
honest. You know, as I mentioned earlier, there
was a lot of there was a lot of abuse in my childhood
that I fully repressed until my late 20s somehow.
And then there was, you know, there was a lot
of hard times that I had with like an eating
disorder in high school and started to struggle
with mental health in high school and then early
in my 20s. And my early 20s was when it really
became clear I was. such a heavy party girl in
college. Like that was what I live for, you know?
And there was a moment where after I really became
aware of, I didn't recognize myself anymore.
Like after going through some of the traumas
specifically in my early twenties, right before
I came back, I would say to the Lord, cause I
felt like I kind of... Was that in a bit of a
prodigal rebellious stage, you know? Same. You're
a human being. Yeah, I'm such a human being.
Surrounded by other human beings. Yeah. And the
more you surround yourself with non -believing
human beings, the more you're going to act through
the flesh. 100%. So that I think is why the early
20s mark is vivid because I think that's when
I really owned the relationship. And I believe
that for me, I'm not sure if I'm answering all
your question. I might be missing parts of it
because it was so good and deep and I'm like,
how do I answer all of that? But yeah, it was
very much recognizing that I wanted to grow deeper
with him in that early phase. Okay, the other
part was how did that change your idea of what
a relationship with Jesus was supposed to look
like? Like did you think that you were on point?
Or did you know that when you were like, hey
man, I'm on fire for you, that this is it. That's
the top of it. Like, did you think that was the
top? Or did you know that you had a lot of growth
to go? Oh, I knew I had a lot of growth to go.
I was very aware of that. But I felt like it
was... God just put so many people around me
that I was so on fire. I was really zealous,
you know? I was just like... I was zealous that
I don't even think I compared it. Like I think
I was just like, I know I have a lot to learn.
I don't even care. I just, I just was so hungry
that I took any opportunity like going through
the personal spiritual formation. And I think
really a big, this is funny, a big part of that
was my My dad was a pastor and he leaned much
more on the legalistic side of how he taught.
And, you know, most of his teachings were on
revelation in the end times and was kind of like
the Turner burn kind of guy. And so I knew in
my spirit that a lot of my dad's teachings were
not spirit led or even like the full picture,
but I didn't know. why or how to articulate that.
So I would intentionally study and read my Bible
to kind of refute some of his arguments. And
I think that that, looking back, was like, wow,
that's really bold, Jenna. But I did it because
the Spirit led me. I think it was really God.
I could really connect when you said. Receiving
the Father's love. Me and Jesus are tight, but
receiving the Father's love was what took me
the longest time because of my relationship with
my Father. So, yeah. And your quasi -rebellion
with his teachings. Right, yeah, absolutely.
Because of my dad often being the representation
or the mouthpiece of how it was taught to me.
So it's kind of like one and the same. So in
that season, I think that the Holy Spirit was
really leading me to see his word for truth.
And thankfully I had other mentors like my grandmother
and this sweet lady that I met at a counseling
center at college, you know, when I was in shambles
that could show me truth. It was like this bubble
of the Lord just being like, yeah, no, like.
We got you. We're going to pour into you to make
sure that you have what you need to keep moving
forward. How interesting that you phrase it that
way and you do what you do now. It's almost like
your whole life was preparing and God was paving
the way for you to be in this ministry at this
moment and used all of your life experiences
as a way to prepare you for this role. He just
knew it when you were eight and you had no idea.
I think that's, that's an incredible, like they
really just plug together in so nicely. It literally,
it's like, it feels to me like a Lego book and
you have the one piece and a foundation. It doesn't
look like much. You got a few more, it doesn't
look like much, but by the time you close your
end, you're like, whoa, I'm starting to see it.
I'm starting to see it until it's done. And it's
like, hey, this is perfect, right? And you're,
and you're at the point where you can see it.
Like I can see what they're like, it's almost
like zentacle to the picture on the outside of
the cover. This is, it's getting there. How incredible.
I really appreciate having you on this podcast
today and sharing and being open about some of
the things that could be scary to be open about.
I really appreciate you being honest and I love
hearing how spirit -filled you are and how much
you want to instill that in other people as you
walk alongside them. I think that's wonderful.
Thank you so much for being with us. Thank you
guys. This has been a joy. It really has been
and what you're doing is huge. It's really big.
So if people want to get a hold of you, how do
they go about doing that? Yeah, so I have a website.
It's called gpcommunity .org. They can get on
there. I'm on Facebook, on Green Pastures Ministry,
and either way, they can reach out and say they,
hey, want to chat, do a free consultation, whatever
that looks like. Awesome. Yeah. Great. Great.
We'll put that in the show notes. And we do appreciate
you and your time. This is great. I pray it was
a blessing to somebody. And if this has popped
somebody else in your head that you thought of,
we ask that you pass it along because it could
be the message that they've been meaning to hear.
And with that, we'll talk to you next week. It's
a really great way to stay in touch. Many of
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time, remember God is always working, miracles
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and don't forget to share this with someone who
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