He goes, all my life, I've dreamed about killing
myself because I didn't think I was loved and
I didn't think I mattered. But Jack, as a result
of what Barry did this morning and what you did
just now, I have no desire to feel myself anymore.
Hey there, welcome to the God's Goodness podcast.
We are your host, Josh and Shelly Hankins, and
we're here to share real stories of God's power,
stories of hope, healing, and miracles that will
strengthen your faith. No matter what you're
walking through, we want to remind you that God
is good and he's still moving today. Let's dive
in. Today's guest is someone whose words have
touched millions, literally. He's a co -author
of the best -selling A Cup of Chicken Soup for
the Soul, a man whose heart beats with compassion,
healing, and purpose. But more than that, he's
a kingdom encourager, a joy -bringer, and a fellow
seeker of God's goodness. I first met Barry Spilchuk
through our Kingdom Seekers community, and immediately
his wisdom and warmth stood out. But what's even
more beautiful? The Holy Spirit whispered to
me, invite Barry. And I'm so glad I listened
because what you're about to hear isn't just
a conversation. It's a divine appointment. Barry's
story, his heart and his God given insight are
going to bless you deeply. So lean in because
the spirit is moving and this one's going to
stir your soul. So welcome, Barry. Thank you
so much for being with us today. Oh, my goodness,
Shelley and Josh, it's so nice to be with you.
What an honor. So, before we begin, Barry, would
you start us off with an opening prayer? Oh,
my goodness, I'd be honored. Yes. Dear Heavenly
Father, thank you so much for everything you
have done for us. Thank you, God. Thank you,
Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Thank you for
prompting Shelly and Josh to start this beautiful
podcast. Thank you for giving us guidance, giving
us the promptings and the nudges, and also the
ability to obey those prompting and nudges, because
we know that, you know, a change is just on the
other side of our being. Father, you said to
us in John 14 and 11, believe me that I am in
the Father and the Father is me, or at least
believe on the account of the words themselves.
You gave us so many stories in the Bible of what
the miracles were, and for those who choose to
believe them, the miracles will continue. Father,
we ask that everyone who's listening to this
call today will also listen to the whispers in
the Holy Spirit and listen for the whispers of
the Holy Spirit so their lives can become one
step closer to you every day, Father, and one
step closer to you. We ask this in Jesus' name.
Amen. Amen. Thank you so much again for praying
us in. And I wanted to start off with see if
you could take us back to the moment when you
first realized storytelling could be a vessel
for healing and hope. Like what was happening
in your life at that time? Oh, wow. Well, I love
that question. It made me think of so many different
incidents because I, you know, as Jesus talked
in parables and I think all the rest of us too,
as we're passing down our wisdom to our children
and grandchildren, we tell parables and we tell
stories as well. And I always get nervous when
people say, oh, what's a story? Because sometimes
stories are made up. But I find that the best
stories are the true stories and not once upon
a time. Especially the ones that have God involved.
Exactly. Exactly. They sound like fairy tales.
They're so good. Yeah, but we'll change into
fairy tales. That's very clever. I see what you
did there. Yeah. Thank you very much. Yeah. But
like my children, they're 40, 37, 34. They're
still not sure of this fat person yet. And they're
just wondering. I'm saying, guys, I survive stage
four non -hudson lymphoma. You know, the doctor
said, get your affairs in order. And I and after
my tears dried up, I said, but doctor, I haven't
had any affairs. Well, the nurse laughed, but
the doctor said, that's not funny. But so there's
a part of me that sometimes feels like a fraud.
Wow, I haven't even been able to convince my
kids, you know. But what's happened is when I
stand on a stage, whether it be a stage of 10
people in a private meeting or I had the honor
of sharing a stage with Dr. Phil Wormsee, I got
the honor of sharing a stage as a closing speaker
at the World Volunteer Conference. And there
was 2 ,700 people, 93 countries, and they asked
me to be the closing speaker. And I was just
so honored. And what I did, what did I do? How
did I get across? It was a heavenly father. How
do I get through to these people? And the answer
was, be yourself and tell some stories, you know?
But my best friend's voice flashed through my
mind and said, be yourself. I said, yeah, but
I'm a goop sometimes. Yeah. And my friend who
was 3 ,000 miles away, his voice was with me
because he was speaking to all his friends. He
says, yeah, but they knew you were goopy and
they hired you anyway. Oh, so you really want
me to be myself on purpose. Here I am after four
days. The RCMP musical ride was there. The prime
minister opened a conference. There was a princess
who spoke one day. Helen Lieberman, who was a
Jewish woman, posed as a Catholic nun to help
start the apartheid movement. They got all these
speakers and they say, OK, we want Barry, the
chubby chicken guy to close our conference. It
was like, ah, so it was so embarrassing. And
then when Paul said we yourself and I look at
myself and I had a yellow jacket, I had a black
pair of pants, white shirt and a Winnie the Pooh
tie. Winnie was springing from a balloon and
I just looked up and I said, thank you. I am
being myself. I am kind of you. So everybody
layered. We love your speech. We love the Red
Heart story, but I love your tie. Why did you
get their pie? But it was all about storytelling.
And I, to answer your question that you asked
to kick this off, I guess I'd been telling stories
all my life, but didn't realize the importance
of it. And then I ended up being called to Jack
Canfield, the guy who invented chicken soup for
the soul. Before he invented chicken soup, he
was training trainers on how to be better trainers,
what to say, what to do, how to take people through
guided exercises to get rid of stuff in their
lives. It wasn't Christian based at all, but
it was something. skillsets that I needed to
learn. How do people interact? What blocks them?
What stops them? And at the end of the conference,
it was a 14 -day conference. We all had to stand
up and give a five -minute speech in front of
Jack. And I had met him twice, but me, he was
like a mentor, even though he didn't know me
at all, other than he saw me be kind of goofy
through these 14 days. And his standard way of
dealing with people was you would give your five
-minute speech. He would ask for feedback from
the audience. you know what did you like fan
the other feedback would what would work better
for me and then jack would say okay here's my
opinion and so i was one of the last ones to
go and i was like a little kid looking for daddy's
approval right so i give this speech and i'm
dressed in a three -piece seat and i decided
to give a speech about when i was coaching t
-ball for four -year -olds And I told the story
about, OK, guys, here we go. You've got to have
the same vision. Here we go, guys. We're going
to practice. We're going to hit the ball. We're
going to run to first base. Then we're going
to run to second base. And we're going to run
to third base. We're going to run to home. Any
questions? Yes. And one happy four -year -old,
what's up, Brian? Say, Coach Bear? Yes. What's
first base? Fair question. And boy, I tell you,
you've got to go back to the, I said, well, follow
me. And by the time you, so they giggled around,
they followed. And then when we got to home base,
as I was leading them, I fell down on a hang
base. I gathered them all off. All 15 of them
jumped on top of me and said, this is my approach.
This is my approach. And so I told that story.
They asked for feedback from the audience. We
got one lady said, well, it worked better for
me if you weren't wearing a three feet suit telling
a story about pitch people. And Jack interrupted
her and said, give you a break. He just made
up the story. and he got thumbs on and the only
one he did was through he put his he had a music
stand and he put his marker and his notepad down
anymore and he said very that was masterful i
have nothing there you obviously have a talent
and you've developed it he said good for you
and that was it wow Oh my god, I got my daddy's
approval, you know, and it was like, oh, yeah,
and because all my rights, I'd be fighting for
my own father's approval and now Jack Fester
is a father -taker. And then as I went through
life, I realized getting approval was not, from
the public, was not the goal. I need my heavenly
father's approval. That's all I need, you know,
because we all want to hear well done, goodly,
faithful servant. So, yeah, I had to learn to
get away from the approval of the world. But
at the same time, it was a huge, huge milestone
for me to say, wow, I can do this. I belong here.
I can shift a room by telling a story. And if
I may just add one quick subsidy to that story,
it's three years later, Jack and I were teaching
together in a room full of people that had all
paid $5 ,000 to be there. We were working there
for free. And yes, well, at least I was, maybe
Jack was. Because I was a prank to clean and
everything like that. And Jack thought in the
morning, and there was about 400 people. They
paid $5 ,000 a piece to be here for a week -long
thinking seminar. And then I came up. And then
Jack came back in the afternoon. And he said,
OK, we've been talking all week about this and
that. The other thing means nothing if you don't
make the commitment to go out and do what you're
going to do. Commitment followed by the action.
Who's willing to commit a one lady stood up and
said, oh I committed you around this explain
a number lady step Oh, I connect you were getting
a key because I've been doing everything on myself
and they go over to a guy named Believe it or
not. His name is Josh They said Josh, what's
your commit and it was dead silent All my life
I've dreamed about killing myself because I didn't
think I was loved and I didn't think I mattered
But Jack, as a result of what Barry did this
morning, and what you did just now, I have no
desire to feel myself anymore. And it was like
the whole room was like weakening and stuff like
that. And so, gosh, you know, you guys asked
me this question, and I haven't thought about
that story in many, many years because it started
out that I got the approval from Jack. His approval
gave me the feats to go for it. And all of a
sudden, three years later, here and I, Jack,
are working together. You know in this case saving
a life and again i'm a big believer in the holy
spirit and you know You go in with your agenda
when you're doing a speech for a phone interview
You go in with your agenda what you get into
the flow. What does holy spirit want me to say
right now? Okay, am I just gonna give speech
number 42 -b. Oh, i'm gonna insert joke here
No, it's like heavenly heavenly father. Holy
spirit. Jesus Christ guide me let let your peace
come out on the page, let Your voice come out
in my vision, let Your message come out on my
monitor if I'm typing something, you know? Yeah.
So thank you for asking that question. That's
how we roll here. We like to see what the Holy
Spirit is, because like if you try to go about
it your own way or, you know, like choose a direction
or a certain topic, you might miss the bigger
picture and the bigger movement of what He can
do through you. We can often miss something important
because you have a pre -packaged idea that you
want to present and you don't read the crowd.
You don't read the people. You don't read the
hearts and You can miss something deep Yeah,
I really I really respect that about you that
you can that you do that Prompted me to think
of something else. May I share a follow -up to
that story? Yeah, absolutely. I was asked by
a men's group to come and speak at a church.
And it waits. They said, OK, you and your uncle,
I'll call this back, Tom. That's not what is
a real name. But you and Tom are going to each
have 40 minutes and the end of our pancake breakfast.
OK, well, they got delayed. And then they came
to us and said, you're each only going to have
30 minutes. And then they got delayed. Well,
you're only going to have 20 minutes. Well, Tom,
even though he was the same age as me, he was
a new speaker. He didn't know what he was. One
of these guys who. He would tell the same story,
the same way. He would even pause and adjust
his glasses at the same time. This whole thing.
Like, I admired him for his story, but I felt
sad for him because everything was mechanical.
And, oh, now it's time to tell this joke. Now
it's time to... And by the time he... I've seen
politicians like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He could,
yeah, he stumped speech, right? You know, and
he could not adjust when they said now you only
have 20 minutes. He couldn't do it. So he took
his whole he took his whole 30. So when it came
time to introduce me, it was like, oh, very sorry.
You only have 10 minutes. And it was like, OK.
So I wrote a book called The Cancer Dance. What
to do when cancer catches you with your pants
back. And I'm the picture on the front cover
is me in an open back hospital gown and a pair
of gym shorts. OK. Carrying an IV pole. across
the busiest street in Toronto, as if I was escaping
from my cancer hospital, right? So I, as a shock
and a surprise and as the light in the mood,
I came out when they introduced me, and the guy
said, but you only got 10 minutes. I went, okay.
So I came out dressed in my hospital gown with
my ID pole, and people laughed, and a couple
of guys went, uh -oh, what is this about? And
just as I was about to say my first line, because
now I've got my 40 minutes speech down to 30,
now I've got 10. Out of the corner of my eye,
beside the podium, was a four foot high wooden
cross. And I looked at it and I just got a jolt
from the Holy Spirit. And because I had never
done this before, I asked, I said, Pastor, would
it be alright if I picked up this cross? And
he goes, of course, go ahead. So I picked up
the cross and I put it on my shoulder. And I
said, gentlemen, how many of you have heard the
expression, this is the cross I have to bear?
And everybody put their hand up. And I said,
how many of you think that that's a bad thing?
And some hands went up and some hand didn't.
And some guys saying, is this a trick question?
And I said, guys, I promise you, I've never done
this before. But I said, and I'm walking around
the room. I made sure that everybody, all the
eyes are following me because I wanted them to
see this cross on my shoulder. And I said, guys,
look what happened on Easter weekend. Jesus carried
this cross they beat him he fell down they made
him stand up they made him pick up the cross
they made him do this he had to stand up they
wore a crown of thorns and he fell down and he
kept him and he had to carry the very cross that
he was killed on and I said but that's not bad
news that's the good news so when now you hear
this is the cross I have to bear Don't think
that is bad news because how Jesus had matters
that this pick up your cross daily and follow
me So Josh, I'm gonna ask you to ask me a question
There you say Barry. What's my cross Barry? What's
your cross? Yeah, I'm gonna hold my cross to
student to lift it up in very gilly, but I made
a mistake there Josh I'm gonna ask me a different
question Everybody wants to know their life's
purpose. Everybody likes to know their life's
purpose. Say Barry. What's my purpose? Barry,
what's my purpose? Barry, what's your purpose?
What's my purpose? Let me ask you a question
back, Josh. What's your cross? Hmm. What is the
cross that you have the intent to bear? Now,
some people would argue, no, we all have the
same purpose. We have to bring heaven to earth
or made. Then what's your assignment? Your assignment
is based on your cross. What is the cross that
you have to bear? Like, and the things that in
my life, the crosses that I had to bear was.
everything from my dad being an alcoholic when
I was younger and thank goodness and thank God
that he didn't take a drink for 45 years before
he passed away. But I also have the cross of
hearing this being sexually abused by my cousin
when I was eight years old. She went on to be
a have a double -doctrine and psychosexual behavior
and so that's my cross and again at the time
you think it's negative. But one of my favorite
bible verses is roman date 28 which you know
translates basically into what's the blessing
this mess Who can I bless because I was in a
mess? And now I get to share those messages not
only on your beautiful radio show podcast here
But also in it where the room is appropriate.
I'll talk about being sexually abused weird Almost
everybody appreciates alcoholism and their family.
They know they understand what's going on So
if I can go in and talk about it and that's my
cross I don't think that's a negative thing at
all. As a matter of fact, the very last story
in my Chicken Soup for the Soul book is called
Breaking the Silence, and it's about my dad and
how he gave up drinking. But it took a long,
long time for him to do it, but he was dry for
45 years since over 85. So and he allowed me
to tell that story in that book, and it was one
of the most popular stories in my book. Wow.
So we all have a cross to bear, and it's not
a negative thing. No, yeah, I agree, you know,
and of course our purpose is to You know make
disciples of all nations, but that's not our
sole purpose He didn't just make us for that
one thing, you know And so I agree with that
assessment of the head that we have other Assignments
as you phrased it. We have other things that
nobody else was created to do Right. Otherwise,
there'd be a cup of chicken soup for the soul
written by 330 million people in this country
alone Right. Because it was all the same purpose
to buy the other book. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
And we all have a different story in a different
way, even though a lot of times our stories are
similar. The story is going to speak to somebody
differently. Somebody might hear that story that
we just fold and go, Oh, my goodness. Oh, I just
think I've just been set free. Other people go,
Oh, I was just the start. You know, so no matter
who listens to me, I think it's our job to go
out there and tell the truth every day and then
let the other people decide if it's true to them.
Absolutely. So thank you for asking that question
and thank you for allowing me to give a longer
answer. Oh, I mean sometimes you need them. You
need the longer answers to get into it and so
it gives it more context. Yeah, oh for sure.
Hey there listeners a while back I had a brutal
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patches aren't intended to diagnose, treat, cure,
or prevent any disease. But the stories speak
for themselves. Now back to the show. So let's
go back to your writing. You've written about
the power of small acts of kindness. Was there
a moment in your own life when someone's unexpected
kindness changed everything for you? You know,
when I heard that question, because you sent
me that this might be a possible question when
I saw it, there's been so many, everything from
my grade seven teacher, for some strange reason,
she saw something in me and she said, I want
you to be the class leader while we're in grade
seven. And I got to wear a button. Well, that
button, you know, it said prefect on it. And
it made me a target for some people. Oh, you're
the squealer. You're going to be like. I'd never
met this lady in my life, but she saw something
in me and she said this. And then, later on in
life, we had just gotten married. I was feeling
a lot of pressure from my parents that, hey,
you've got to have children, you've got to have
daughters. And then once you have the children,
you have to move home and, you know, work with
us and all that kind of stuff. But I wanted to
make it on my own. And I left a nice career selling
accounting systems for a McBee company. They're
the kind of company that you would write a little
check and there was carbon on the back of the
check and it would go onto the forms. It was
a safe job. And they just, you know, move me
around a couple of times and it was a safe job.
But I said, I don't want to do this. I guess
is not what I was put here to do. So I one of
the other salesmen, he had the same feeling.
And so we went out and we started a business
together. And what happened was within the three
days of leaving, I found out I'd made the wrong
decision. But there wasn't anything I can do
about it. It turns out we were trying to just
offer like every day since we wanted to offer
Visa and Masterpart. So our customers could pay
with Visa and Masterpart. And the bank wouldn't
let us do it. And I said, well, how come? And
then Frank folds me aside and says, well, then
I guess I better tell you something. My wife
and I are going through a bankruptcy right now.
And that's why we're not allowed to offer Visa
and Masterpart. And I went, what? Why didn't
you tell me that? You know, I mean, yeah, that's
a little important. I've got a family. You know,
what's going on? Oh, well, you know, I didn't
think it would matter. Okay. Fine. That was,
you know, back in 1983, you know, and it was
like, oh, my gosh. So we ended up we here we
are. We rented an office where and okay, well,
how many father, how do we make the best of this?
And my partner wasn't a god die at all. But,
you know, I'm having a father. How do we make
the best of this? And I just said, well, let's
give it everything we've got. you know and we'll
we'll keep doing this we'll do something else
so when people can pay cash or write a check
i mean who here we are now in 2025 who pays cash
or writes check right but you know we plugged
along and we're renting space from a law firm
and that was attached to an insurance agency
so we'd go out in the hall sometimes and chat
and there was a man who owned the insurance agency
his name was charles bray and he apparently my
voice was is fairly loud and his wall and my
wall were broken so he could hear me a lot and
he never told me that but he could hear me and
anyway one day we're about four months into this
and I'm doing the best I can sometimes we'd stay
till 11 o 'clock at night just try to make a
sale and I went out to get some fresh air one
day and Mr. Berry was in the lobby and he goes,
Berry can I tell you something I said please
do Mr. Berry because I regarded him as a very
highly regarded man and just a man of honor And
I didn't realize he was a Christian at the time,
because at the time I didn't realize I was one
either. I just wanted to be my best, you know?
And Mr. Bray said something to me. He said, Barry,
I would hitch my wagon to your star any day.
And that small act of kindness and his willingness
to say it out loud just changed everything for
me. Because I, here I am flailing away, not getting
my father's approval from 200 miles away. But
this man was the same age as my dad, you know,
roughly. And for him to just hear my voice through
the walls. And, you know, occasionally we'd stop
when we're having a coffee or a tea or for him
to say daily. And he was a very successful insurance
guy. He said, Barry, I would get my wagon to
your start any day. I don't know what you guys
are doing in there, but keep doing it. And I
just even get emotional now thinking about Mr.
He passed away a while ago, but it was that small
act of kindness by him. that gave me the the
boost to keep on going. And so thank you, Mr.
Brightford. I know he's in heaven. So Jesus,
give Mr. Brady a couple extra. There is a popcorn
tonight. I think you need to use it. Well, something
stood out in that with me, Barry, was you didn't
know you were a Christian yet. Like at what point
did you realize, hey, I am a Christian. And then
when did you like lean into that? Because you're
in Kingdom Seekers now and you're like really
leaning into it. Yeah, April 1991. Oh, wow. I
remember it Yeah, only eight years after that
encounter Yeah, yeah April 1991. Yeah, I had
Remember that course that I talked to you about
where Jack and I were teaching together $5 ,000.
Yeah, well I they the very first class they had
was called the million -dollar poor and It went
on to become income builders international then
it went on to become CEO space but the million
dollar form was founded by Bob Proctor and Mark
Victor Hansen and Bernie Dorman and I'd never
heard of Bernie before so I went into this thing
I was now working with my brother in partnership
selling windows and doors and I knew I wasn't
supposed to be doing that but I sold my business
that I partner in frank I sold it so I could
get the pressure of the father off my back so
we sold it we had a baby So my father says, get,
you gotta get your butt up here and you gotta
help us throw windows and doors. You've got a
family now. And I just like, I can't believe
this. And I, when we moved, it's 300 miles from
Toronto to North Bay. We moved on Valentine's
Day, 1986. And there, I still say there's claw
marks on the highway because my wife didn't want
to go. And I never felt so disappointed in myself
because I had given in hoping. You read the three
words that every son wants to hear from a dad.
I love you Hmm or I'm proud of you son and I
think you know, okay I'll give in and I'll do
that and I didn't hear those words for four years
I didn't hear those words and oh well, you should
do this and this and this or if you do this much
sales Oh, you mean if I do 200 ,000 and sales
will say I love you wait like soccer I did and
I didn't hear And then I worked on the Chamber
of Commerce that I got voted director of the
year. And yet we still surpassed our sales target.
And I went like a little kid, even though I'm
in my 30s. I run to my dad, Dad, look, you know,
you wanted us to do 330 ,000 this year. We did
400 ,000. You know, you would have gotten a whole
lot more if it wasn't for our stupid Chamber
of Commerce. Wow. I love you or I'm proud of
you, but I'm hearing because it's stupid Chamber
of Commerce. The next year, I'm voted president
of the Chamber of Commerce. It's the fastest
anybody had ever gone from member to the second
year I was vice president, the third year I was
president. That never happened before. And my
dad didn't say a word. He didn't recognize that.
No, I didn't. So I said, OK, I have to get out
of here. I'm not going to get my approval from
you. So what I did was I substituted and I went
and got my approval in the community. that's
not the way to do it either. I sat on 12 boards
and commissions and oh the same day you vote
me as you know director of the year and all this
kind of stuff and oh isn't Daria nice guy and
when they gave me the award the high lasted for
about 20 seconds. They gave me the award I walked
off the stage and my thought was what am I going
to do to get their approval next year and it
was just such an empty feeling. Like a vicious
cycle. Just keep striving. Oh, yeah. And that's
the whole thing. Striving. Striving for what?
You know, and I had not heard this word in the
Bible, well done, my good and faithful servant.
Although knowing who Jesus is and how much He
forgives and how much He loves us, I'm pretty
sure He would have been saying, well done, my
good and faithful servant all along. You know,
and Jesus is a patient man. He's a gentleman.
He's never going to force himself on anybody.
So anyway, I get enough courage to leave the
family business and go waiting for my father's
approval. I mean, again, as a matter of fact,
I made him huge thing out of my lap of nightmares.
How dare you? How dare you? How dare you? Man.
But then I went through this. I used five thousand
dollars of my bio to go to this place for the
million dollar for. and Bernie Dorman was taking
us through, he didn't say this out loud because
he was afraid that people wouldn't come, but
Bernie secretly called it the biggest church,
and I didn't know that at the time, but so Bernie
took us through a prayer one day, and we did
it in a non -denominational way, and I tell you
Shelly and Josh, I literally could feel the wrecked
side of my body lifted up, and it was like that's
when the Holy Spirit... officially entered my
body that I knew of. Obviously he'd been there
all along. But he was just in this prayer that
it was like, oh my goodness, something snapped
in me in a big way. It was almost like two Lego
blocks kicking together. And they went, this
fits. Oh my goodness, this fits. So that's when
I knew. And I think in my head, because I was
still wanting my father's approval, I had this
thing in my head that dad said, Don't rely on
anybody. Don't ask anybody for help. Be a man,
do it yourself. So I thought if I asked Jesus
for help, I wasn't doing it myself and I wasn't
being a man. So I still was striving and striving
and striving and serving on committees. And for
a while it worked. You know, oh my God, there's
a theory guy. Make him, you know, call him in
and he'll do our seminar. And it worked. But
it's not going to work for so long. Until finally
I had to surrender and I think surrender is one
of the Biggest things that we can do and a lot
of people think surrender they may hear wave
the right flag and give up I hear surrender as
one of the strongest words in the English language
because we surrender to him and we are obedient
to him and That's when things start to change
because this isn't about me. I get to be a vessel
I get to be the hands the feet and the voice
of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in somebody
else's life. And yet to this day, my brother
thinks, ah, that's all crap. You know, it's all
just, you know, made up fantasy to make it feel
good. And so I'm not going to argue with him
because, you know, arguing is not going to change
his mind. So I just have to go out there and
be the person that Jesus meant me to be. And
hopefully, you know, my brother and my children,
maybe they'll follow my lead. You know, I'm thinking
about your relationship with your father and
you know, we're supposed to love God with all
our might, our soul, our strength, with every
fiber of our being. And then Jesus says that
we love others as we love ourselves. How far
did it take you? You're a smart guy. I'm sure
you figured it out. How long did it take you
before you realized that your dad... Was projecting
the that he wasn't loved. He wasn't showing love
because he was never loved as a child He never
he was never told I love you He was never told
I'm proud of you And so he was just acting on
what he knew like how long did that take before
you realized that? And that he did love you and
he was proud of you He just couldn't articulate
it because he didn't know how no one showed him
Yeah, it took a long time. I was in my 50s before
I'd mitigate and I loved the verse that you quoted
there is you know goods To love others as you
love yourself and I've always stopped today when
I figured that out one day I'd love your neighbor
as yourself. Why do I hate my neighbor? Mm -hmm.
Why does my neighbor make me angry because I'm
angry at myself? That's why I call it the 11th
commandment when Jesus says no, no, no, no, no,
no, no guys clear I give you all a new premiere
love others as I have loved you Because how can
I love my neighbor when I'm judging him all the
time because I did you know, I judged my neighbors,
I judged the people and all that kind of stuff.
And he's like, oh, so I love the fact that he,
you know, was essentially the 11th commandment.
I gave you all a new command. Love others the
way I love you. Oh, that changed everything.
Because love your neighbors as you love yourself.
I didn't really love myself, you know, because
if I did, I wouldn't have done all those things.
So it was in my 50s when I learned that they
had all stemmed back to be abused by my cousin.
I was eight years old. And I was 58 when I realized
that there was a blessing of us because I finally
admitted it out loud because I tried to tell
a relative once and they said, shut up. Don't
tell anybody. Keep the family secret. Oh, OK.
That's horrible. So, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, because
well, back then, you know, that was making 65
when it happened. you know that there was no
such thing as internet or oprah or anything like
that or you could air your dirty laundry on tv
but it was so keep your mouth shut was the strategy
you know and may i get a little bit personal
here absolutely you haven't i'm telling you okay
so there was a moment when this act was happening
he wanted us to wash each other's body parts
and when I took the stope and I was watching
her chest area. She said, don't do it that way.
This way. He said, Larry, don't do it that way.
Do it this way. But as an eight year old, I heard,
don't do it that way. This way. 50 years to realize
that's where my percussions have grown. If it's
not perfect, I'm not going to release it. Because
I do not want to hear, don't do it that way,
do it this way. Well, you're, you're chicken
shimp. It's not good enough. Don't do it that
way. Do it this way. And so I would work and
work and work and have to be, it would have to
be perfect before I let it out the door. When
I realized it doesn't have to be perfect anymore.
It is perfect the way it is and it can be perfect
or we can change it. You know, but that's where
the perfection syndrome started. I would don't
do it that way. Do it this way. I mean now I
look at it as a bluster in the mess too because
my cousin went on she now she meet countries
she meet from Canada to the United States and
she changed her name and she has a double doctorate
in psychosexual behavior and she helps people
with sexual problems and On the bright side I
can say oh well isn't that interesting I got
to be one of her first subjects, you know You
know, I'm sorry to laugh that was I think you
intended me to but Yeah, let's see here, but
I think thinking it was normal, okay? I had no
idea how it would affect me now. I've often wondered
we have lots of presence I wonder that happened
with anybody else but none of my business and
when I went to approach her about it from like
I looked up people for lawsuits and so basically
You know just a first the first thing to see
what you can do first and when I approached her
she Said oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, I did that anything
else you need from me and I said when I see you
in person I would like to see a face -to -face
apology she said we will have it and then so
I I sent her a letter thanking her for that and
then she writes me a letter back and accuses
me of making it up meanwhile she's already apologized
and then she accuses me of making it up which
just sort of ran you know how dare you you know
and I don't know if she was afraid of a lawsuit
I wasn't gonna sue my cousin you know but I had
a lawyer Suggest that I should and I said I'm
not gonna sue my husband. Sorry. I'm just not
gonna do it You know and but the lawyer wanted
a piece of the reaction and I'd have seen no
that's not you know, that's not it So anyway,
so that led to perfection syndrome on various
different levels for what if I just released
my 18th book And look 18 is the new version of
book 17 So remember I just talked about perfection
syndrome and you can release it. So book 17 was
about golf and it was called How to Win a Golf
Tournament, you know, and a prefix to beating
your buddies. So I get picked to speak at the
Toronto International Golf Show a few months
ago, February 1st of 2025. And I go out and give
my talk on how to win a golf tournament that's
called Great Golf Under Pressure. So I have books
for sale and the books are saying how to win
a golf tournament. And I would get people go,
oh, this is cool. This is cool. You know, and
I'd hand them the book and say, would you like
to copy? And they go, oh, thank you. But no.
And it was the look on their faces. And I realized.
And I, you know, after this happened for two
solid days for the bringing conference, I went
behind my booth and I said, for heavenly fault,
what are these people trying to tell me? And
it was as soon as I asked the question, I turned
around and there was another person there and.
The person essentially said, oh, I could never
imagine myself winning a golf drink. Immediately,
I started talking to people about, hey, you know,
because I would joke with people because you're
at a trade show with 20 ,000 people and you're
trying to get their attention to come to your
booth. I said, oh, this book is about how not
to pay for the drinks on night people. People
would come by. But when I turned around and said,
my goal is for you to walk up to eight people
and say, I just shot my best for ever. Shelly
and Josh, you know the word of a lie. Everybody
took one step for you. You do that very and Immediately
Holy Spirit said or smiled at me. I just I felt
his smile as a matter of fact. I'm getting goosebumps
now I came home I changed a few words around
in a beautiful book and I just released it and
I just started delivered this week and the neat
title of the book even though it's the same book
with like 5 % changes called how to say I just
shot my best for her and it was like And it it
looks good. It feels good. I have no problem
standing on any radio show going on TV and talking
about this book, because now I even I feel prouder
of the book because everybody wants to shoot
their best forever. And now we could change that
into like your radio show to be how to have your
best life ever. You know, how do we do that?
It's like, oh, because people want to get better.
And it doesn't mean you have to be broken. I
mean, even the best is better. And so we invite
all of your listeners and they say hey, how can
I come one step closer to heavenly father every
day? One step closer to Jesus one step closer
to the holy spirit because when you do that you
come one step closer to your destiny You said
you just released your 18th book Where did the
book in question a cup of chicken soup for the
soul? What number was that in? That was two.
That was number two. Okay That was number two.
Yeah What inspired you to write that or to co
-author that like what was the story behind that
book? That was 100 gmail when I talk in a public
seminar, I say gmail like ladies gentlemen, I'm
a bad guy I'll confess that right up front. So
gmail meets god For those of you who aren't god
people gmail means the gut mail, you know, it's
that gut feeling, right? So and again this is
because of the chicken soup for the soul book.
It obviously involves jack But jack invited me
to now I wasn't a student in this class. I was
his apprentice at the back of the room. And so
for about five or six years, I served as his
apprentice, along with many other people. But
he would always invite me to tell this story
because it was a story about a mirror exercise,
about looking in the mirror and saying, I love
you and all that kind of stuff. And I thought
that exercise for a long, long time because I
thought it was stupid, you know, but then all
of a sudden one day it dawned on me. So anyway.
I'm on the team again this one year and the rule
was if you're on the team you have to be in two
days early to set up and you have to stay one
day late to get down and if you couldn't do that
then you couldn't be on the team even though
it was volunteer you know but I had to miss the
day because Jack was starting to get so busy
with his chicken soup stuff that they started
hiring other people to speak on his behalf especially
when they couldn't afford Jack you know Jack
went from five thousand to twelve thousand to
twenty five thousand You know, they said, well,
we can't afford that budget. Do you have anybody
else? Oh, well, use Barry. He'll do it for a
dollar and 95. You know, okay. Yeah, I'll do
it. You know, because a dollar ninety five U
.S. is like five hundred Canadian. I'll do it.
All right. You know, so this is back in nineteen
ninety five. And anyway, so the team leader happens
and you're a day late. You know, I said, yes,
but I was late. Oh, OK. OK. So on the very first
day of the seminar, there was two hundred and
seventy four people in the room and they were
going to decide that they were going to do about
40 to 50 people a day to come up and play. Hi,
my name is Bob. I can say Lewis and I do this.
Oh, we had one minute. So I missed that on the
first day to team back. I'll go. And then it
was time for me, though, because, hey, guys,
you met the whole team yesterday. John, stand
there. I want you to meet a dear friend of mine.
Gary was filling in for me. So he wasn't here.
So he looked at the team when he said that because
there was a couple of people in the team were
resenting me. How come you were here to help
set up, you know, and all. Oh, that's fake. And
hey Barry, tell us a little bit about yourself,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he said, Barry,
you know how we do the muscle testing exercise?
Yeah, come on up. So, you know, I put my arm
up and he says, oh, he says, I sense that you're
a little bit dehydrated. He plucked my hair from
the top. He'd never done that before. He plucks
my hair and he says, Barry, I sense you're a
little dehydrated. Here, take some water. And
he hands me a breath of water. Well, I always
try to shock him with my humor, but it also has
to be clean. So because he plucked my hair and
he said I'm dehydrated and he said take some
water so I took the water and I pulled it over
my own head and everybody just cracked up and
he literally fell off her stage there was a one
foot riser he fell off her stage and it was like
oh my god they said you're an alien how would
you do that I said you said I was the hybrid
and you pulled my hair okay okay so I did my
intro and then he said okay let's hear from you
know 40 more people so About the dense guy gets
up and he says, hey, I'm Bob. I'm from St. Louis.
And hey, Jack and Barry, you know, I just want
to thank you for this cup of tea. This is a riot.
You know, hooray. And I went, cup of tea? Oh,
interesting. And then at 1130, the team got to
go to lunch and they said, OK, half the team
go here and half the team go at 1230. OK, fool.
So I went to the 1130 and we walked. We are at
the South Coast Plaza in Orange County. We were
staying at the Westin and we went over to the
mall. And we told the guy, we're in a hurry.
And so we went around the table and the guy says
to me, what would you like? I said, I'd like
the soup and sandwich, please. And he said, oh,
would you like the bowl of soup or would you
like the cup of soup? Holy Spirit said, very,
hello. Cup of soup, that's twice today. And I
just couldn't contain myself. And so the next
day I said to God, look, before I go back to
Canada, can we have dinner? And he said, yeah,
no problem. So the very next night we're going
off to dinner. And I told him two things. One
was he was thinking of retiring from doing seminars
because chicken soup was bringing him in millions
of royalties. And I said, you can't, you cannot
do this. You cannot retire. You've got to stay
doing this because I know I'm your mentee, but
on behalf of all of us, I wouldn't be here if
it wasn't for you anyway. And so the next year
he did his thing and he said, I want to thank
Gary and Piper. continued to stay on my butt,
he says, because I would have stopped this if
it wasn't for what Barry told you the other night.
And the second thing I told him was, Jack, you
need to take chicken soup, think so, shrink it
down to a pocket sized version and call it cup
of soup. His fork was on his way to a mouth with
a with his fork full of pasta. And he put it
down. He said, what did you say? I said, yeah,
we should take chicken soup, shrink it down to
a pocket sized version and call it cup of soup.
He goes, that's a brilliant idea. He said, uh,
let me check it out with mark nlc. I get back
to canada and we said publisher loves it jack
loves it mark wedgett said we don't have time
you do I was hoping to give him the idea and
maybe make two cent royalty, you know, and he
said you do it That's when another huge lesson
for him, but I got to go around my city because
chicken soup was starting to get popular I turned
on I was the seventh book in the series and there's
over 200 of them But I got to go home, and I
got to, in a very nice, humble way, oh yes, I've
been asked to write a book with Jack and Mark.
Meanwhile, on the inside, I'm going, look at
me, look at Brady, look at Jack and Mark, but
thank, oh yes, it's such an honor, and oh my
god, I've written a book with Stan and Mark,
and I have to do that for like six months. And
then, hey, Betty, how's the book coming along?
We've got a deadline, we need it done in 90 days.
Here was the problem and I always like to work
under the mantra tell the truth faster And I
go and then I learned tell the tree faster is
a big thing. You have to tell the truth now What
was I doing I was talking about writing a book
with Jack and Mark I wasn't writing a book with
Jack and Mark talking about it seemed like it
was enough Oh, and I got the accolade. Oh, good
for you. And I've just taken off. Good for you.
Good luck for you. I got to live off that high.
And still the reality came. Hey, buddy, how's
our book look? You got 90 days to turn the center.
What? So I had to move from talking. Huge life
lesson for me. And I think that's a lot for a
lot of our listeners. I've been blessed to train
and speak on stages all around the world. And
so many people, when I tell that story, you can
see them. bowing their head going, oh, don't
look at me right now, don't look at me right
now, don't look at me right now, because I'm
doing that too. Because talking is sometimes
a substitute for doing, but it doesn't get you
the result. So that's where the impotence and
cup of soup came from. And when I told Jack about
cup of soup, I said, look, I got the idea from
when the kid said this morning, thanks to this
cup of soup, because I don't want to be stealing
this guy's idea. He said, no, Barry, we get our
ideas from different ways. And if you got the
spark of the idea from that guy's comment, And
the waiter turned around and confirmed it. He
said, you know, that's Jack uses the term universe.
That's the universe telling you you're on the
right track. To me, that's not the universe at
all. That's Holy Spirit saying, Gary, you need
confirmation. Pay attention. Yeah. Yeah. You
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see what it's all about. I truly believe it could
be someone's answer to prayer. Now back to the
show. There's a long time we have pension in
our lives or we have pension on our bodies and
This the solution to relieving that pension is
to exactly do what you just said in those words
Pay attention to the pension What is your body?
What is this pension trying to tell you? And
so thank you for saying those two words because
to me everybody's to all attention. It's a bad
news thing No, I think ever everything kidneys
are from possibly Romans 8 to 8 How can we say,
after this tension in our body, what's this tension
turning into? It has to be the tension saying
the Holy Spirit there, you need to take care
of this. You know, even if it's the enemy, the
Holy Spirit can't, how are you going to take
care of this? You know, and cast your cares upon
me was a Peter, cast your cares upon me. You
know, how are you going to take care of this?
So thank you for saying those two words to the
front of that little sidetrack. You don't know
it but our last episode was with Kaia Redford
and he brought up Jack Canfield in his interview
and I was like we're interviewing someone who
worked with him so it's just really cool and
then he spoke about these things too how when
you change your mind and then Put the new thinking
into action then the new results of what you
want will come so Yeah, it's all about obedience
Two of the best words in the christian language
you trust and obey You know trust the father
and obey what he's telling I like to tell people
that you know, we have the five love languages,
but god's love language is obedience Oh, I love
that. It's not all the ones that we think of
it's he has a totally separate category that
applies to him alone Right Boy, you're right
on there. You should be quoted in a book someday.
I know a guy. I told him he should write a book.
So maybe one day. You never know. So for someone
listening who feels like their story is too messy
or painful to be used by God, what would you
say to them? Here's the bluntness, the case,
forgive me. Get over yourself. I'm sorry if that
offends anybody, but it was the answer for me.
It was the answer for me, get over yourself.
If you have been blessed by these things, and
I know it like no blessed, because in 2008, 2009,
I learned my ABCs. I had an accident where I
fell through the stairs at a welded steel stairs
filled with concrete. I fell through it. And
at the time I was 432 pounds. You know, my friends
would always show, hey, Mary, you got your own
gift, though. Yeah, thank you very much. So that
was the A. The B, the bankruptcy. With C, they
said, you've got stage four non -Hodgkin's and
form of cancer. There's your C. The D was, my
wife came up and said, I still love you, but
I don't want to be married anymore. I can't handle
this pressure anymore. So divorce. D, employee
theft. All of a sudden, all of these things happened
at the same time. And it was like, ah. What is
going on here? And I said, Heavenly Father, I
don't know how much of this I can take. And King
was like, touch your cares upon me. So Karen
and I were separated. I was living in one condo,
and you know, she was living in a three dozen
apartment with the kids. And this was in 2009.
But we were still good friends. And she would
come to see me in the hospital every day because
when I got enrolled into the hospital, I was
in the cancer hospital for 35 days. So at the
same time, we're going through this. We're also
going through the bankruptcy. So she's going
to my condo, going through the books, taking
the stuff, the books and the numbers and going
to the bankruptcy attorney and saying, okay,
here you go. And so the bankruptcy attorney at
one point says, now, meanwhile, I'm in my cancer
bed. I'm 432 pounds. I can't walk because of
the accident and I'm on an intravenous and I
can't move. So stage four, non -hogs, things
in the former. So Karen says to the bankruptcy
attorney, I think you brought all of our papers.
And the attorney says, well, you have to get
Barry to come down and sign the papers. And I
said, well, Barry's in the hospital. He can't
come. Can you please come to the hospital and
he'll sign the papers? No, Barry has to come
here. Why? He's in the hospital. He's on intravenous.
Barry has to come here. It's only four subway
stops away. What So Karen comes and tells me
that and When I got enrolled in gospel, I said
that prayer I said heavenly father How am I what
am I supposed to do here? And because we had
just I told you earlier that when the doctor
said it's stage four non -hostile Zephoma And
I said we said get your affairs in order and
I said but I haven't had any affairs the nurse
he wrapped The doctor said that's not fun. So
when I got It's a little funny. Yeah, it is a
little funny. I mean, it's hilarious, you know?
So when I got transferred from Toronto General
Hospital to Princess Margaret Cancer Center across
the street, I said, Heavenly Father, what am
I supposed to do here? And the answer came, do
what you did with that nurse this morning. Make
your nurses laugh and feel appreciated every
day. And so even though I'm the one going through
this, I was figuring out, OK, how do I make them
laugh and feel appreciated? And I love doing
that. Mark Crickter Hansen blessed me with the
nickname once about various Canada's Dale Carnegie.
I always thought that was kind of cool. So I
tell you, how do I tell these nurses? So over
my time there, I had 15 different nurses, 15
female, one male. And every day, whenever I could,
I would either make them laugh or tell them how
much we love them. But I know you're not supposed
to say love in public. But my nurses and I had
that arrangement. I appreciate you. I love you.
Thank you so much. And it was just it was such
a blessing. And just having these people in my
life, now I've got the ability to tell these
stories. And all of a sudden, the one night,
it's still o 'clock in the morning, and Lynn
Shepard, what a perfect name for this woman.
I call her my nighttime angel. She came in and,
hey, Barry, how we doing today? And usually I
would say, we? Well, that's part of, we's not
doing too bad. How's that? Part of we, blah,
blah, blah. You know, and I say, hi, Lynn. And
she goes, what's going on? So you're not trying
to make me laugh. You didn't try to do something
silly. What's going on? And I was spying. I said,
I don't know. I don't know what to do. She says,
let me finish our rounds. I'll be right back.
An hour later, she sat on my bedside. She held
my hand and said, what's going on? And I told
her about, you know, she knew about Karen and
I being separated and everything. She didn't
know about the bankruptcy. So I told her what
happened that day. And about the bankruptcy attorney
saying, Barry, you have to come down here and
sign the papers, you know. And so I was at the
height of feeling sorry for myself. And Lynn
said, Barry, I mean, it's too bad you're going
through all this at the same time, but I get
it. You're handling it well. And she said, well,
let me speak on behalf of that bankruptcy. She
said, Barry, I've been a nurse in this cancer
hospital for 20 years. A lot of people don't
even like going to a hospital. Never mind a cancer
hospital. Some people actually think they're
going to catch cancer if they come in here. And
she said, I know that sounds weird, but it's
the truth. and as soon as she said that i just
felt an amount of shame come over my body like
because i know i'm a christian man and i was
judging this evil wiki bankruptcy attorney right
and because i wanted to put all the blame for
all of my life's problems on her because she
wouldn't come and visit me which was so stupid
and juvenile but it's when you're struggling
you know let's blame somebody else but it was
the common denominator of all these things was
me I had the abdomen. Yes, I was 430 pounds.
Yes, I was going through bankruptcy. You know,
I was using Visa to pay MasterCard. And American
Express, you know, they used to have that blank,
saying, you know, don't leave home without it.
They called me and said, Barry, please leave
home without it. Don't leave. It's bad anymore.
It's like, OK, OK. But so all of that was on
me. I was the common denominator. But when Lynn
said, Barry, we might be afraid to walk into
the hospital. My immediate thought was, Lynn,
will you accept an apology? or her on my behalf,
on her behalf, because I feel like I'm really,
she's saying, Barry, look where you are. Don't,
don't feel like anything. Forgive yourself. It's
okay. And ironically, the blessing that mess
was, as I told you before, when we released the
cancer death book a few years later, there's
me standing on the foot cover in an open back
hospital gown with an ID pole. And I was on my
way to see the bankruptcy attorney. So that's
explained in the book. So it became a fun thing,
you know, so. When you ask the question like
what's the advice it get over yourself. I had
to get over myself I had to get over Oh for me
Oh, I'm sorry I had the accident and then blamed
me for the accident because I even though it
was welded steel stairs filled with concrete
They were 50 year old stairs, but well everybody
else walked up and down those stairs Nobody fell
through your 432 pounds. It's your fault. Your
lawyers blamed me Which is so stupid, but that
thing lawyers do well, of course Yeah, like where
if there's two people side by side that what
their combined weight was 500 pounds, you know,
it's exactly You know, I always thought it funny
that the doctors have to take the Hibbock radical
first, you know aren't lawyers these first you
harm Yeah, don't get paid without it Yeah, exactly.
So yeah, don't get paid without it. Yeah, that's
the other side of the American Express. So anyway
I don't mean to be rude and I don't mean to be
harsh. But when I say we have to learn to get
over ourselves, it's like, OK, take ownership.
And again, if that's too much of a responsibility
to bear, turn it over to Heavenly Father. You
know, Heavenly Father, what do I do about this?
That's what turned it around for me in the hospital.
It was five magic words that turned it around
for me while I was in the hospital. And may I
share with you the five magic words? Please do.
So Karen left. The first night I got transferred
to Princess Margaret, I cried again. It was like,
oh my gosh. And I fell asleep. And now it's two
o 'clock in the morning. I was having a dream.
And I suddenly had been like Martin Luther King
there, you know, having a dream. And it was like,
oh my God. But you know what? Dr. King stood
up and says, I have a dream. I have a dream that
someday all God's children, black women, white
men, fascists and Catholics, Jews and Gentiles.
They're going to join hands and sing the words
to the old Negro spiritual. Let freedom reign.
I have a dream. And it was like, well, he's been
he's always been one of my number one heroes
in my life. So here I am in my hospital right
having a dream and I see one of my features telling
a story. And he said the five magic words. And
because it was a dream, I could see myself. I
don't usually remember my dreams, but I could
see myself in the dream, putting my hand up saying,
do you have to say those five words again? And
he said the five words. And now I know I'm physically
erased. I know it, but my eyes are still closed.
So I said the five words to myself. And then
I said the five words over each of the incident
for my life. Accident, bankruptcy, cancer, divorce,
employee theft, failed business, A, B, C, D,
D, F. And the five words were, let's go for a
pizza. The five words were, we've heard them
so many times. I've heard them many, many times,
but I had no idea what they meant. until I heard
these five words, let go and let God. Let go
and let God over my health, let go and let God
over my accident, let go and let God over my
finances, let go and let God over my marriage,
let go and let God over the employee who stole
all our money. And it was like, ah, and I'm getting
goosebumps now just telling you the story. And
it's let go and let God. It was a great saying,
but I never knew what it meant until that moment.
in the hospital laying in a hospital bed in there
nothing 2009 in Toronto because you know on february
on groundhog day they said get your affairs normal
on august 5th of the same year they said bury
your cancer free so everything got turned around
like we never did get the divorce this year will
be our 45th anniversary we live apart for six
months yeah three it's all gone it's all gone
uh the guy who stole my money he paid it back
he was like oh my goodness The company that I
founded, I was able to sell a little piece of
it for $100 ,000. I was training people how to
write books and stuff like that. And then we
found this one special formula. And so I ended
up selling a piece of it for $100 ,000. I didn't
get to keep any of the $100 ,000 because I had
to give it to the bankruptcy attorneys, which
is perfectly fine. They deserved it because,
you know, I spent the money and I didn't pay
it back. So even there was a blessed in every
mess. Every one of those flexes was a mess. And
there was a stress and I found the blessed in
every stress. I found the blessed in every message.
I just thank Holy Spirit for that. It's very
important that we don't hold on to asking God
why we're in a situation and but rather ask what
can he use us for? How can we proceed in his
kingdom in this capacity? Yeah, it's when that's
that's literally what you were mentioning. It's
the difference between asking God why me or why
this to what do you want me to do with this?
How do you want me to, how do you want me to
serve you with this? It is absolutely mindset.
Leads to stress, yeah. I would say why not me?
Why not me? As I've been through, why not me?
Barry, I'm going to give you the accent, the
bankruptcy, the cancer, the divorce. Why? It's
your cross. Barry, that's your cross. You get
to pick up your cross daily and talk about it
freely with anybody who needs to hear it. And
it's like, oh. And not that I'm saying anybody
who's going through something right now, they
have to pick up their cross and go on television
and talk about it like I do. But they could talk
about it with one cousin, with one relative,
with one stranger on a bus or a subway and say,
oh, I totally get it. I mean, you know, there's
gosh, there's so many incidents of the Holy Spirit,
living incidents where I witnessed it firsthand.
And we just have to be willing to open up to
people and say, may I ask your permission to
ask you a question? You know, like a lot of times
people you'll see a good -looking lady walk down
the street and all the guys are whistling and
everything like that. But sometimes, I mean,
they get compliments like that all the time.
Sometimes they're unwelcome. So sometimes I'll
just say to somebody, may I have your permission
to pay you a compliment? In all of my life, everybody
has said yes, except one lady. And I said, would
I, may I have your permission to pay you a compliment?
No, it's okay. Okay, fine. Thank you. But everybody
else says, oh, sure. What is it? And just that,
that single act of kindness, telling people,
you, the way you handled that person, the way
you handled that rocket customer was amazing.
How do you do that? I can't believe how you did
that. You know, I do that a lot with flight attendants
and I do that a lot at airports where the guy
in front of me is so rude and how come you're
not upsetting me? I've been a member for 50 years
and all this kind of stuff. It's crazy. It's
that how can you take what that That horrible
person did and immediately reversed to make that
person feel better. You know, we landed in a
nice storm in Montreal once and everybody had
to get shipped off to hotels or whatever. And
the guy in front of me and the three guys in
front of him were all so rude. Where's my hotel?
Where's my pre -fac? And so when it was my turn,
they said, how can I help you? You don't have
to do anything for me if you don't want to. I
just admire the way you handled those last four
guys. And she said, what? I said, yeah, I said,
obviously I need a room, but it doesn't matter.
Are you OK? Mm -hmm. And she said, by the way,
here, sir, I've upgraded you to a suite. I hope
you don't mind. No, it's terrible. I wasn't even
looking for that. I was looking for a box. At
the end of the airport, I'll sleep in the box.
You know, and but because she was in the verge
of tears. How do we take because those tears
have a voice. Most tears have a voice and they're
saved. Please, would you stop? Beating me up.
Would you stop verbally abusing me? But she's
not allowed to cry those tears and she's not
allowed to say those things because she's a customer
service agent for an airport And it's the same
thing and none of it was her fault in our lives.
Yeah exactly Yeah, yeah, it was her fault that
the ice storm came and you can't get here for
like the next year, right? Let's go get your
frustrated, but there's no reason to take it
out on another person as no There's no reason
for it I want to thank you so much for coming
on our show today, Barry. You're an absolute
delight. And you've overcome so much with the
glory of God. And you've accomplished so much.
And you really are leaving a legacy behind you,
not just of gratitude and asking the right questions,
but of just being someone who loves like God
would love. Right. They say that, you know, you'll
notice that we're Christians by our love and
we don't see it a whole lot in today's society
because too many of us mouth off before we think
what Jesus would do or what Jesus would say to
somebody. And I believe that you really are an
inspiration. And I believe that you do show the
love of Jesus to other people. And I really enjoy
hearing you speak. Well, thank you very much,
Josh. Josh and Shirley, it's been an honor to
be on the show. I hope I didn't talk too much.
There's just so many things that we can say about
having His Father and Holy Spirit. The results
He's blessed us with in our lives. I mean, I
still struggle from time to time because I wanted
you to like me so bad. Oh, I do things for free.
So I was still, you know, I help people write
books and I help people get their books on the
marketplace. And at the same time, oh, well,
I'll do it for free because they'll like me.
I realized I'm not supposed to play that way
anymore. No. So and so we still learn as we go.
By no means am I perfect, but I am absolutely
willing to be blessed with the perfection of
the moment, even if it's a mistake, you know,
and say, Heavenly Father, how do we turn this
mess into a bless, you know? Well, thank you
for allowing me to be on the show. Oh, yeah,
our pleasure. It's been truly our pleasure. For
sure. So can you tell our listeners how they
can get a hold of you and your resources? Oh,
sure. I guess the best way to do it. I know I'm
going to do something you're not supposed to
do. I'm going to just give you my personal email
address because I've got a couple of different
websites and I don't want to confuse anybody.
So my personal email address is Barry33 at me
.com. B -A -R -R -Y 33 at them .me .com. And
that way I can, I can't give personal alarm answers
if anybody has deep questions or anything like
that, but at least that could start a conversation
and we could pick it from there. Oh, thank you
for that. If this episode has been a blessing
to you, you got something that just hit you just
right or you thought of somebody, we ask that
you pass it along to them because it could be
a blessing to them as well. That's how the Holy
Spirit works. Just that little prompting. So
if you act in that obedience, it'll just bring
joy to somebody. I know it. And also, if you
could do us a solid and rate the show, that would
be amazing. And then it'll help the algorithms
send it to more people so more people can be
encouraged. And with that, we'll talk to you
next week. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode.
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