1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,400 Listener discretion is advised on this episode. 2 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:16,360 This episode contains sensitive content that may not be suitable for children or workplace 3 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,720 listening. 4 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:23,000 This testimony includes mature themes, real-life struggles, and discussions that may be intense 5 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,640 or emotional. 6 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:28,960 Please use discretion when listening and consider using headphones if in a public or shared 7 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,680 space. 8 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:34,600 Welcome to the God's Goodness podcast, where our mission is to encourage and highlight 9 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,000 God's Goodness and modern-day miracles. 10 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,920 We are your hosts, Josh and Shelley Hankins. 11 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:44,080 Today we have a special guest, but before we get into that, thank you for being here 12 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,080 with us. 13 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:49,920 I know your time is valuable, but I feel God has something just for you in this episode, 14 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:54,680 so stay tuned for what encouragement He holds in store for you. 15 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:59,560 And we have with us today a special guest, Teresa Hamilton. 16 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:06,240 She is actually the sister-in-law of Anthony Brown, a past guest, and you're just going 17 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,600 to be amazed at her story. 18 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:13,400 She just has so much to share on her journey of God working in her life, and so we're going 19 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:20,120 to see what unfolds in the episodes she's going to be on with us in, and we're going 20 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:24,120 to have her open us up with an opening prayer, and then we'll get into it. 21 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,880 So thank you for being here. 22 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,840 Thank you for that opportunity. 23 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:37,800 For God, I just ask that you would quiet our hearts and guide my words to be in tune with 24 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:44,720 your Holy Spirit and let everyone that is listening hear from you what they need to 25 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:45,720 hear. 26 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,720 In Jesus' name, amen. 27 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:48,720 Amen. 28 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,320 All right, so let's take it from the top. 29 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,200 Okay, so just a brief introduction. 30 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,880 I'm Teresa Hamilton, the author of Where Did I Leave My Bible? 31 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,720 30 Day Bible Guide for the Easily Distracted. 32 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,720 I am a wife and a mother to one son. 33 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:09,680 His name is Josiah, and he is currently six years old. 34 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:16,120 So let's get started on my faith journey, like how it started. 35 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:20,560 There's two truths that I have learned in my life. 36 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:27,040 One, there is a God who loves me and has a plan and purpose for my life. 37 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:32,120 And two, because of that, I'm on the most wanted list of the enemy. 38 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,840 Oh yeah, for sure. 39 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,840 High value target. 40 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:37,840 Yes. 41 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:42,600 And this truth started out with me when I was three years old. 42 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:50,760 I had what they call grand mal seizure, and what that usually means is after about five 43 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:56,160 minutes there's significant brain damage that happens. 44 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:00,000 And I was seizing for up to, I think, 12 hours. 45 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,000 Wow. 46 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,360 Wow, wow indeed. 47 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:06,520 So I should not be sitting here. 48 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,280 It sounds like you should be a vegetable at least. 49 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:16,880 Like that's what should have happened, but obviously it didn't. 50 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:17,880 God had other plans. 51 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:21,360 But during that seizure, I don't remember any of it. 52 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:25,960 And in fact, we found out that I probably had some short term memory loss because the 53 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:31,600 last thing I remember before that was eating cake at my uncle's birthday party, and that 54 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:35,280 was a month prior. 55 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,880 So there was probably some memory loss there. 56 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:43,440 He got reset back to the last hard save. 57 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:53,920 So during that time, I had what I feel was a trip to heaven. 58 00:03:53,920 --> 00:04:00,560 I remember explaining it again, I was three years old, so explaining it to somebody else 59 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:01,560 when I was three. 60 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:12,480 There was this white, tiled floor, and I explained it like I was at Walmart because in a three 61 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:18,680 year old's mind, Walmart white tile floor is close. 62 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:25,600 So in the middle of the floor, there was this yellow sash and I picked it up. 63 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:33,600 When I picked it up, I looked beyond me and way off in the distance, I saw a person standing 64 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:42,680 there and it was almost like my eyes were able to zoom in and see that it was Jesus. 65 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:48,760 And my thought process was I want to be with him and instantaneously. 66 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,240 There was no walking. 67 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,480 It was just like I had the thought and then I was there. 68 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,480 That's good. 69 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,240 I had the thought of being there. 70 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:01,440 So there's my little theory on how travel is going to work in heaven. 71 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:06,240 Go on the days that he runs down the driveway to meet us, he'd just teleport there. 72 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,240 Right. 73 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,320 That's even faster than running. 74 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,320 Right. 75 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:18,000 So I get there and then we were in this room and it's just bright whiteness. 76 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:29,600 There was just brilliant, there was like I've told people before that there was colors there 77 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:36,040 that I can't even explain because they don't exist in our realm. 78 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:44,560 But it was this brilliant bright whiteness and there was this pedestal in the middle 79 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,920 room and a rocking chair in the middle of the room. 80 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:55,000 And we go sit in this rocking chair and he on this pedestal is this photo book and it's 81 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,240 me and my family. 82 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:03,080 And like we sat there for a long time and he goes through and he's showing me different 83 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,080 pictures. 84 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:11,200 And then at some point in those pictures, it goes from people I know to people who are 85 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,920 coming in the future. 86 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,960 And just like shows me the whole book and then once we're done through the book, he 87 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:22,760 closes it and he asks me, do you want to go home to your mom and dad or do you want to 88 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:23,760 stay with me? 89 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,080 And at three years old, I made the decision. 90 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,920 I said, I need to go home and I pointed to the book. 91 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,920 I said, because you aren't finished with me yet. 92 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:39,160 You know, now fast forward to when I read Heaven is For Real, which I've been read in 93 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:46,600 like four hours like I because he was three, Colton was three in the story too, which really 94 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,000 resonated like three. 95 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:54,440 That's interesting that he did that at three and then I had that instance at three. 96 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:55,940 I have questions. 97 00:06:55,940 --> 00:07:02,120 So like how much did you know Jesus like like, do you guys go to church when you were at 98 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,120 age? 99 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,200 I was always, we were always in church. 100 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,360 So I knew of Jesus. 101 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:15,480 Okay, but like to have it be that big of a concept was just, you know, like I always 102 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:20,240 knew Jesus, but it was like to see him is totally different. 103 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:26,400 But they reading that book, I was like, first of all, one of the things he says in that 104 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:33,600 book is that yellow sashes designated humans against like other beings, like angelic beings 105 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:38,760 had different color sashes and stuff and he said yellow was their sashes. 106 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:43,640 Like, you know, and that's why I handed it back to Jesus before I left because it was 107 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,360 like, because I had stopped mine to wear yet. 108 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:47,760 Like that was so cool. 109 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,160 Like to see somebody, that's the word I'm looking for. 110 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,160 Carabirate. 111 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,160 Yeah. 112 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,160 Carabirate. 113 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,760 And he just like his story. 114 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:04,080 And then I realized that probably more than likely I was in my mansion because like I 115 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,080 didn't see heaven. 116 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,920 It wasn't the throne room. 117 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:11,280 Yeah, my husband laughed at me when I read that book in five hours. 118 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,880 I was like, well, that's not fair. 119 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,040 And he goes, what? 120 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,040 My husband's like, what? 121 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:20,480 It's like, he got to pet Jesus's horse. 122 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:27,240 And he goes, are you really complaining that somebody else's heaven experience? 123 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:31,360 Was different than your heaven experience. 124 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,360 And you're jealous of that? 125 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,360 Okay, I see your point. 126 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,360 But he did. 127 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:39,760 He got to pet Jesus's horse and all I got was a room. 128 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,080 I didn't even know that was an option. 129 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,400 Yeah, I would like that too. 130 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:49,240 You know, and he got to see the Holy Spirit working and praying over people with their 131 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,240 loved ones. 132 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,680 Like he got to see some really cool stuff and I didn't get that. 133 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:54,360 And he goes, you got to go to heaven. 134 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,240 You got to go to heaven and bat. 135 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:57,240 And he's like checking me. 136 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,240 Like, he's like, come on, man. 137 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,240 Why are you complaining? 138 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,800 You were three when you went. 139 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:02,800 So it's kind of on you. 140 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,800 You didn't know enough to ask for this. 141 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:05,800 Right. 142 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:06,800 Yeah. 143 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:07,800 Now you know what I mean. 144 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:12,760 So obviously in the natural world, once I woke up, I did have some slight recovery to do. 145 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:21,200 But the doctors were amazed that how quickly and like completely I recovered. 146 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,720 They were scratching their heads. 147 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,560 Are they calling you the miracle girl? 148 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:25,560 Yeah. 149 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,640 And some of them were, of course, there was some skepticism and stuff. 150 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:29,640 Oh, yeah. 151 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:30,640 Yeah. 152 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,480 But like, how else could you explain it if they were supposed to die after five minutes 153 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:37,440 or, you know, have brain surgery or brain damage rather? 154 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:38,440 Yeah. 155 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:39,440 That's crazy. 156 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,920 But you know, some people might argue that there was some brain damage. 157 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,840 But you know, you're still out over here. 158 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:46,840 Yeah. 159 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:47,840 Yeah. 160 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:48,840 I will, you know. 161 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:54,000 So I did have some seizures after that and, you know, they diagnosed me with epilepsy 162 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,840 and so I struggled with that for a couple of years. 163 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,720 And then when I was six years old, I remember we went to this big tent revival. 164 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:02,720 And. 165 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,520 Good song. 166 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:13,000 I was, yeah, I was sitting there, you know, at six years old, you're pretty much bored 167 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,000 at this kind of thing. 168 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,000 Along for the ride. 169 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,480 Like I'm sitting there coloring. 170 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:22,280 You know, my grandmother is trying hard to keep me quiet and still. 171 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:28,080 And I'm sure that wasn't an easy task, but she didn't think I was like paying attention 172 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,800 to what like was going on. 173 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:37,320 I thought she was like, but during the altar call, I was like, Nana, she goes, what was 174 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,320 it? 175 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:42,640 You need to take me up there because that big man's going to touch me and Jesus will 176 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:43,640 heal me. 177 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:51,960 You know, my Nana experiencing what happened with three did not question that in one second 178 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:58,640 she picked me up and took me up there and I was totally healed of epilepsy at that point. 179 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:02,160 And so you were on seizure medications and such like that from three to six. 180 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,160 Yeah. 181 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:07,480 Well, technically I was on until 12 because it took until about 12 for them to believe 182 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:13,680 that you were finally the path for the doctors to like be in agreeance with that I was completely 183 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,640 healed and they bring me off of that. 184 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:17,640 That's amazing. 185 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:18,640 Yeah. 186 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:19,640 Wow. 187 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:20,640 Okay. 188 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,640 So that's two miracles so far. 189 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:22,640 Yeah. 190 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,640 Let's keep track. 191 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:24,640 Two. 192 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,640 Just two. 193 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:26,640 Super. 194 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:33,880 So obviously one of the things that's been hard for me even like recently is the fact 195 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:38,400 that I've gone to a Bible study about purpose driven life and it's really hard because I've 196 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:45,960 been through the book four times and I said, I figured out why it's so hard for me to do 197 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:51,600 that book because for me, I've never questioned whether or not God had a purpose. 198 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,200 I've never had a plan and purpose for my life. 199 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:57,360 Like he made abundantly clear in three and then again at six and then again and again 200 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:01,000 and again, he's reaffirming I have a plan. 201 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,600 I have a purpose trust me. 202 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:08,800 You know, so that's not ever really been a question in my mind. 203 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:15,400 So that's why I struggled with those kind of studies because I'm just like, you know, 204 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:23,000 like I know that part and what to do with it's a whole other story. 205 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:32,280 But you know, so obviously after the revival, I started really as much as a little kid can 206 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:37,320 you know, really getting closer to God, you know, in about seven years old after my great 207 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:47,360 grandmother died God revealed to me and kind of a vision or dream, I would say that he 208 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,000 was calling me into ministry. 209 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:53,760 And I don't really remember the full details, but I do remember like it was like a dream 210 00:12:53,760 --> 00:13:01,360 and vision and like a picture frame of my grandmother falling and breaking and kind 211 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:07,000 of him saying, this is like the process, like this is the process of grief. 212 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:13,960 And then calling like, and that's a big concept for a seven year old. 213 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:21,520 So like it wasn't fully still not fully processed. 214 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:25,800 But it was clear to me that God was going to call me into some type of industry at that 215 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:26,800 point. 216 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:31,000 I said missions back then because that was like my mind frame. 217 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:35,080 Like, that's what people do to go help people go far away. 218 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:41,760 I get seven, that was my thought, you know, was that so kind of began my journey and then 219 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:46,240 I got baptized sometime shortly, like around seven or eight. 220 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:52,440 I call it my peer driven baptism because it was kind of my friends were doing it. 221 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,680 So I felt like I should do it kind of thing. 222 00:13:55,680 --> 00:14:01,840 But then also still, I don't say it's not real because like, as my understanding of 223 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:07,960 faith was at eight years old, you know, that's what I believe that I should do. 224 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,480 My next step was to be baptized. 225 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:18,040 So I got baptized, but it was around 10 or 11, maybe 12. 226 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,640 The time frame is fuzzy on me. 227 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:27,200 But I know it was before like 12, before really just at the edge of puberty. 228 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,160 Like I was not even fully in puberty yet. 229 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:43,080 I was at my mom's friend's house and her daughter who was like four to six years older than 230 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:47,800 me, you know, we went down to the basement to play and stuff. 231 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:59,520 And somehow the topic of masturbation came up and then she showed me like what masturbation 232 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:04,240 was and like dared me to try it. 233 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:13,840 And so that really kind of sowed a seed there that really shouldn't have been sown at that 234 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:18,800 young of an age about sexuality. 235 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:29,240 And also because my first sexual experience was with a girl, it kind of sowed that seed 236 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,240 as well. 237 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:34,240 It gave the enemy a foothold in your life. 238 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:41,240 And I want to make sure that like in case maybe she listens to this, that I don't hold 239 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:45,240 anything against her because she was a kid too. 240 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:51,800 She didn't realize what she was saying or doing was going to be in effect to me, you 241 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,040 know, or that it was wrong, like wrong or anything. 242 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:59,520 So I'm real careful when I say that was talk about this because it's like I really harbor 243 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:04,720 no, no hurt or anything against her. 244 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,360 That's awfully Jesus of you. 245 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,720 Yeah, like, because it wasn't her fault. 246 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,920 Like she didn't know like either. 247 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,600 So she was clueless too. 248 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,600 Like it was not. 249 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,520 And what trauma did she experience to make her think that that was okay for her? 250 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,520 Exactly. 251 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,520 So I don't know. 252 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,520 And absolutely. 253 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,360 She didn't pray for just as much as you did. 254 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,360 Right. 255 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:27,560 And I, you know, that's neither here, nor there. 256 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,040 A lot of hurting hearts I'm hearing. 257 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,040 Right. 258 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:37,560 So around 12 to 13, my parents got divorced, which led me into really my first experience 259 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:41,760 with depression and anxiety and all of that. 260 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:47,280 Like, but still was faithful in church. 261 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:52,160 You know, my mom, we went, my mom was part of the work youth group and stuff. 262 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:56,360 So we, when I was 13, we went to this conference. 263 00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:03,240 You know, I'm not sure you guys have heard of it before, but acquire the fire youth conference 264 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,240 was something. 265 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,840 I was an old man when I started to come to Jesus. 266 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:13,040 It was a big thing in like the late nineties, early 2000s. 267 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,440 It was like this big conference. 268 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:20,880 We were not building relationships with Jesus in the nineties, but they, some of us knew 269 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,040 him, but we weren't there yet. 270 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,040 Yeah. 271 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,240 So it was this big youth conference thing. 272 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:34,120 And one of the, you know, I was also, when I had my first like real crush was around 273 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:38,920 that age and, you know, I got to sit next to him and I was all excited about worshiping 274 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,200 next to him and stuff. 275 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:46,320 And so then when he went to the altar call, of course I ran too, but I did like have a 276 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:51,160 real personal reason, but also it was like really cool that I was like with my crush 277 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:56,240 doing that, but God will use anything to get you ready to be right. 278 00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:03,560 And so I kind of said, yeah, I believe in you, which is really weird to me to say that 279 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:10,760 I got like saved there because like I just told you, I got baptized and I've always had 280 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:16,280 the knowledge, but it was like, I feel God's had to take baby steps with me. 281 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,760 Big little increments of faith. 282 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:28,680 It wasn't some kind of big, I got saved at this one point and then never like, like 283 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:33,600 again had like a come to Jesus moment, you know, that's something that is that way. 284 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:34,600 It's a process. 285 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:35,600 Yeah. 286 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:41,080 I feel like that's why I call it come to Jesus moments, not necessarily like the salvation 287 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,920 day, like, because there was just different. 288 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,720 I followed him for almost 10 years before I had to come to Jesus moment that made me 289 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,400 forget to get rebaptized. 290 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,400 Right. 291 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,400 Like this. 292 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:51,400 Wow. 293 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:52,400 Did I even really know him? 294 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,400 Right. 295 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,400 You know, and so yeah, 100% agreed. 296 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,400 It's a process. 297 00:18:55,400 --> 00:19:00,400 That's why I say just one little prayer isn't, that's not the whole thing. 298 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,880 Like it's the start. 299 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,880 It's a start, but it's not everything. 300 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:12,120 So from the age of about 14 to 18, I was actively involved in my church. 301 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:18,600 Like on the youth group worship team, on the church worship team, you know, taking up leadership 302 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,960 and the youth ministry and everything. 303 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:32,360 Oh, well, secretly, privately dealing with my sexuality and struggling with my sexuality 304 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:43,440 and getting into a sexual addiction and porn and experimenting with homosexuality and being 305 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:44,800 promiscuous and stuff. 306 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:53,760 But it just so crazy that like Monday through Friday, I was kind of living an alter net 307 00:19:53,760 --> 00:20:00,560 lifestyle than what I was perceiving on Wednesday nights and on Sunday mornings and the double 308 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:01,560 life. 309 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:02,560 Yeah. 310 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,880 I was very double-lifed at that moment. 311 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:12,320 But then around 17, I moved out of my mom's house because she kind of found out about 312 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:16,880 some of the stuff and it was just like, if you want to keep doing that, then you can't 313 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,400 be here kind of a thing. 314 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,800 And it wasn't, she didn't like, angrily kick me out. 315 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,600 It was just like, you need to change your life. 316 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:30,280 And if you're not going to, then you need to not, you know, boundaries. 317 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:34,040 Sure, it's like, it's like when Paul was saying, look, if you've got this going on 318 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:40,520 a church, you got to stop it and kick them out and let them sort themselves out and then 319 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:41,960 they can come back, right? 320 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:46,320 Jesus is still for them, but he's not for them here because he might poison the well. 321 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,320 Right. 322 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,600 And that's very much what she was concerned with because I had a younger sister that was 323 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,360 living with us too. 324 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:53,960 So it was a lot. 325 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,280 My parents threatened me. 326 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,640 But she was trying to manage and stuff. 327 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,440 My parents made no threats. 328 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:01,440 He just made actions. 329 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:05,240 You know, you know how 17 year olds are, we know everything at that age, right? 330 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,240 Oh yeah, for sure. 331 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,240 So I knew everything and I didn't need wisdom. 332 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,120 I didn't know a change. 333 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:13,120 I forgot it all, but it happened. 334 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,120 Right. 335 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,120 Yeah. 336 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:19,480 I think when I had my child, I realized, oh yeah, she was right. 337 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:24,000 But I think mine was early twenties when I'm making stuff in the kitchen, I'm like, oh 338 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,000 my gosh. 339 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,000 Or, you know, you're setting up your life, your apartment, whatever. 340 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,920 And you're like, oh, mom was right about that. 341 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:31,120 Oh, she was right about that. 342 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:34,920 Oh, let me call her for advice on this now that she's right about all this other stuff. 343 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,520 And then you can call in her every day. 344 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,520 Yeah. 345 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:38,520 It's like what is going on? 346 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:46,080 It reminds me of the meme I saw that said, this woman calls her mama, says, mom. 347 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,200 When do these kids just stop being so meaty? 348 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:52,120 And then she's like, well, you're 40 and you're on the phone with me. 349 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:53,120 So like. 350 00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:55,320 You can tell me. 351 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,320 Never. 352 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,520 It's not that bad. 353 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,480 It's less and less the older they get. 354 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:02,480 Yeah. 355 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,320 Like when I get in the bathroom on their own, that's nice. 356 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,320 Yeah. 357 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:06,320 True. 358 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:10,360 So I did start going back to church around 18-ish. 359 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,560 I came back to church. 360 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:13,960 Now, what made you come back? 361 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,400 Because there's always something that's pulling you back. 362 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,400 Did you miss something? 363 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:25,160 There was a breakup with my boyfriend, the one that kind of pulled me out of church in 364 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,920 the first place. 365 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,400 So the distraction was gone. 366 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,080 So the distraction was gone. 367 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,120 And so I kind of came back. 368 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:36,720 But I was still really struggling with like my sexual identity at that point. 369 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:48,120 Like I wasn't sure if what I was wanting to do was going to be something that would be 370 00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:49,560 welcomed in the church and stuff. 371 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,360 So I was really kind of hesitant. 372 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:58,320 Hesitant and it's funny because as I'm hesitant, as I'm still struggling, God still mentioned, 373 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,160 hey, I've called you in ministry. 374 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:09,680 Like he reiterated that calling still there. 375 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,560 So I really wrestled with it, wrestled with everything for a while. 376 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:17,520 And then I just flat out decided I'm going to run in the opposite direction. 377 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:18,520 Like I do not want- 378 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:19,520 Be like Jonah. 379 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:20,520 Jonah. 380 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:21,520 I am not going in the nibba. 381 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,400 I am not doing these things. 382 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,400 Forget everything in that book. 383 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,400 Forget everything. 384 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:27,400 Yes. 385 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,400 Like everything. 386 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,800 Like I just like I want to be on my own. 387 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,440 I want to do my own thing. 388 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:43,680 And so around 19 is when I came out of the closet as bisexual and kind of came out 1920s. 389 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:52,240 And then my girlfriend at the time introduced me to witchcraft. 390 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:58,720 And before I really get into the type of witchcraft and stuff that I practice, I wanted to take 391 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:08,400 a moment and explain what witchcraft really is because I feel like the tendency when somebody 392 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:13,640 hears that somebody else practice witchcraft is to think, oh, well I never touched crystals 393 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:21,800 or I never did tarot cards or I never practiced divination or I never, you know, I never come 394 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:29,240 up and without a real understanding of what you're crafted, that's what a lot of people 395 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,240 do. 396 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:35,520 So I get some of this from Derek Prince. 397 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:42,800 So if you're ever interested in anything spiritual warfare or definitely like look up his stuff 398 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,400 because he's got some good stuff, good thoughts on there. 399 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:51,800 But he says that the nature of witchcraft, the root of witchcraft is rebellion. 400 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:56,920 Wherever you find rebellion, you can anticipate witchcraft. 401 00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:03,840 And in my experience, I was rebelling against God and it led me to witchcraft. 402 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:12,240 And I feel like that it's a natural progression and Derek Prince calls them twins, rebellion 403 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:16,240 and witchcraft are twins because you can't have one without the other. 404 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,840 Like they work coincide together. 405 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:29,240 But witchcraft in its essence is the attempt to control or make someone do what you want 406 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:36,600 by the use of any spirit, which is not the Holy Spirit, it seeks to do so through manipulation, 407 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:40,240 intimidation and domination. 408 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:45,560 And if you understand that definition of witchcraft as rebellious, manipulative, intimidating 409 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:56,720 and dominating in doing so with those kind of intense and actions, we can look at, we 410 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:05,240 can really see that witchcraft is running rampant in the church, in pulpits, in pews, 411 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:09,480 like people practice witchcraft without realizing. 412 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:15,000 I was just taking my kids and they try to manipulate one parent against the other. 413 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,000 Exactly. 414 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:20,200 And then you go back to the fact that it's the root of its rebellion. 415 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:25,760 Like rebellion and witchcraft are the same, one in the same. 416 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:31,560 You know, so anytime you see rebellion, you're going to see witchcraft working. 417 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:40,800 And it's opened my eyes to realize that while I practiced occult, you know, that occult 418 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,520 and witchcraft are two different things. 419 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:51,920 Occult is the physical practice of it, but you can be, if you are manipulating, intimidating 420 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:56,040 or dominating, that's what you're doing. 421 00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:04,800 And I would say if your pastor is constantly sounding manipulative, intimidating or dominating, 422 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:11,120 then maybe we should find different churches. 423 00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:17,360 You know, but there's a lot of, we could go on about that, but that's not the story, that's 424 00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:18,360 not what we're here for. 425 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:25,680 But I just had to put that out there because I just felt like that's important to understand 426 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:31,360 before getting into what I was involved in. 427 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:41,280 So in general, when I tell people I'm in witchcraft or I was into witchcraft, I tell them that 428 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:49,400 I practice Wicca because that's the easiest, softest way to tell them that. 429 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:53,920 Right, like mom of the school pickup line, soft version. 430 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:58,720 Soft version, because I don't want to scare people away. 431 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:06,720 You know, and also I don't really want to over glorify what I was doing in that time 432 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:12,800 frame, you know, because it was incredibly foolish and stupid of me. 433 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,520 It was also rebellious. 434 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:20,480 So what I was actually practicing is called psychic vampirism, which is basically this 435 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,600 intentional energy transferring and manipulation. 436 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:32,880 So like, I would, like, just being in proximity with people, I would like feed off of their 437 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:39,120 natural energy or, and if there wasn't enough energy, I would maybe stir up some trouble, 438 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:44,960 like cause the fight to happen or something, or hype people up. 439 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,840 So that way I get like that. 440 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,640 Did you have to do anything to prepare for this? 441 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:50,640 Like, was there a spell book? 442 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:51,640 There was different rituals and like... 443 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:52,640 There was different rituals and like... 444 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:53,640 Like all demonic help. 445 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,760 Like, how did that work? 446 00:28:55,760 --> 00:29:00,440 It was a lot of rituals, a lot of meditation stuff. 447 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,720 Not so much spell work as much. 448 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,760 It was more like... 449 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:13,840 I would liken it to what they call manifesting now, where you just like will things to happen. 450 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:21,480 It wasn't necessarily like casting a spell or, you know, I mean, I did have like sage 451 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:22,880 and candles and stuff like that. 452 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:27,720 And I had like an altar room that I practiced in and like meditated in and stuff, but it 453 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:33,200 wasn't your stereotypical like altar room setup. 454 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:37,960 And there was no like pentagram on the floor or anything like that. 455 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:42,200 No cauldrons bubbling over with strange view. 456 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:47,680 Because you've got to understand while I was practicing this, I was still kind of like 457 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:52,960 relying on family for like transportation stuff because I didn't drive. 458 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:58,440 So like, I didn't have access to like go to a Wicca shop. 459 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:07,240 So like I made do with like random household items or I purchased things like that something 460 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:11,800 you can get at like Walmart and you made it use that way. 461 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:19,480 So like my resources were limited, which is I think why I went the way I went because 462 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:27,320 it was something I didn't need a lot of resources for and I tapped into really a lot of very, 463 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:28,640 very dark energy. 464 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:29,640 Sure. 465 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:30,800 Taking somebody else's energy. 466 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,880 That's a pretty dark add. 467 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:40,560 And I was definitely realized that I was in touch with some deep, dark energy. 468 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:48,320 But what's funny is, is like while I'm doing this, like I never touched tarot cards or 469 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:52,600 luciboards because I was like, those are bad. 470 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:53,600 Hmm. 471 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:57,200 Like, because I knew the truth. 472 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:02,960 And so like I was like, I won't touch those things, but yet I'll feed energy off of somebody. 473 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:07,320 Like there was this real, let me ask you this. 474 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:13,160 So like there's Bible verses that say to stay again, stay away from witchcraft and sorcery. 475 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:17,160 Like did you hear those verses before this or after? 476 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,160 I knew it. 477 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:24,840 And I did it because I was running and I decided I'm going to do everything possible so that 478 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,480 way you won't let me. 479 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,520 Like I'm going to damage my testimony. 480 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:33,080 So so bad that you can't redeem it. 481 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:37,640 Like so bad that I can't be used of you anymore so that way I can get out of this. 482 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:42,240 Like, even though we know he uses people that have killed people. 483 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,240 Yeah. 484 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:44,720 Like, and I had that full knowledge. 485 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:45,720 She did. 486 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,720 She just ran full force. 487 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:54,400 I love how hard you fought him and how he knew because he knows your life as soon as 488 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:55,400 you're born. 489 00:31:55,400 --> 00:32:00,160 He knows the end of your life and that he had cemented his anchor in your life when you 490 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:01,160 were three. 491 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,160 Right. 492 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,760 And then he tested that anchor at six to show you how strong it was. 493 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:11,600 And then you just let all the slack in your life and all those problems and he was still 494 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:12,600 anchored. 495 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:13,600 Yeah. 496 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:14,600 You couldn't run away from that. 497 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:15,600 No. 498 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:21,400 And it's like, so when I got, I was really, really deep into this stuff. 499 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:26,160 And at that point, my girlfriend had broken up with me two weeks before we were, which 500 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:30,600 is really God's grace right there is the fact that she broke up with me two weeks prior 501 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:35,520 to when she was going to move in and we were going to do a bonding ceremony, which would 502 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:43,760 have involved bloodletting and like some very, very dark, dark practice. 503 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:49,080 And so she broke up with me then and then about two weeks later when that was supposed 504 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:56,000 to happen, I was, came home from work and sat down on my couch and this wave of depression 505 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,000 hit me. 506 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:03,520 Like I've never experienced something so like physically heavy. 507 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:12,000 Like it was like, like a physical manifestation of, of depression that just slapped into me. 508 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,840 Did it feel like an attack, like something was pressing you? 509 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:25,240 And then so I remember that and then I woke up screaming in my shower, fully clothed and 510 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:30,240 I went in and I looked at the clock cause I knew when I walked in like from work. 511 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:36,320 So I had like somewhat of a timeframe and it was one a.m. in the morning. 512 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:40,280 I had lost like three hours. 513 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,400 Like I had blacked out for three hours. 514 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:47,520 Now my logical brain was saying, did I just have a seizure? 515 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:52,800 You know, or like, you know, as I called my mom at one a.m., like freaking out, telling 516 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,680 her what's happened. 517 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:58,840 And she's like, we'll get dressed, you know, and so I go, the way my house was set up, you 518 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:06,800 had to go through this, the boiler room into my utility room to where my laundry was. 519 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:14,280 So I walked through the, and right past, right next to the utility room was my altar room 520 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:15,280 that I had set up. 521 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:20,120 It was a pantry that I had re-erbised for practices. 522 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,960 So I went in to get clothes and I was like, calm down. 523 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:27,200 Maybe you can just calm down and be okay until morning cause she's like, it's like one o'clock 524 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:28,200 in the morning. 525 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:29,200 She's already taking her meds. 526 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:34,240 Like she's thinking, I cannot come get you. 527 00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:37,720 So we're trying to get you calm down so you can go back to sleep or whatever. 528 00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:45,920 And when I went to get my clothes, I look in the corner of my eye and the light in my 529 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:54,080 altar room is on, which is not supposed to be on when it's not in use. 530 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,640 And then it flickers three times. 531 00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:57,480 I'm like, okay. 532 00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:05,840 Oh right, instantly, no, we're not dealing with some physical problem, but a spiritual 533 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,000 one. 534 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:08,720 And so it's funny. 535 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:14,440 I lived out in a holler of West Virginia at that time. 536 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,840 And those get pretty creepy at night. 537 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:18,000 And there's no street lights. 538 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,000 It's dark. 539 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:27,440 You know, I felt safer standing outside than being in my house. 540 00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:28,440 At that point. 541 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:29,440 That's saying something. 542 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,840 And I had my dog, I took my dog with me, but I left the cat, which I'm like, hi. 543 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:35,840 You've got nine lives since five. 544 00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:40,880 Well, the cat was also, well, the cat was also, I think it's a good thing I left the 545 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:47,480 cat cause the cat was also bought for the purpose of being my familiar. 546 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:54,000 And so I sitting out there, my mom called a cat because she couldn't drive me. 547 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:58,400 She's like, I called a cat, she called a cat to come get me and take me to my mom's house. 548 00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,400 And so I spent the night there. 549 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,200 Then I went to work the next day. 550 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:06,640 Kind of just tried to shake everything off, you know, figure, well, just some kind of 551 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,200 oopsie, not really seeing what it was. 552 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,600 But then my grandmother picked me up from work. 553 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:18,040 And as she usually is, was listening to Caleb. 554 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:23,240 And about halfway to my house there, the song, how he loves us, come on. 555 00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:25,440 And I heard that words. 556 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,080 He is jealous for me. 557 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:34,000 Love like a hurricane and I am the tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. 558 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:42,680 And when I heard those words, I felt this burning, like this heat within me, like it 559 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:48,880 was, and I realized that it was looking back later, I realized that that was the jealousy 560 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:49,880 of God. 561 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:58,040 And I just really, like he let it go, like he let me feel how jealous he was of this. 562 00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,560 And I started bawling my eyes out. 563 00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:07,280 And at this point, other than knowing that I had a girlfriend, my grandmother had no 564 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:12,040 clue as to what was going on in my personal life. 565 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:18,520 And like I just broke down and I just word vomited everything, you know, out to her, 566 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:19,960 like what happened. 567 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:25,640 And she, we are at that point, we had almost gotten to my driveway. 568 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:31,600 And she did the fastest U.E. and got me into the church over to the parsonage of our pastor 569 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:35,560 that I ever experienced. 570 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:39,360 And he prayed for me over me for several hours. 571 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:48,480 Still to this day won't tell me exactly how many we dealt with that day. 572 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:52,240 But then instructed me the next morning, because by this point it was like at 10 o'clock 573 00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:53,320 at night or something. 574 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:57,160 So we went, my grandmother had me stay at her house that night. 575 00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:06,080 And then later that next morning we went and got everything that was used in those practices, 576 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:07,080 except the cat. 577 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:08,080 We got everything. 578 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:09,080 I was also thinking about that. 579 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:15,840 Except the cat, we got everything together and we burned it. 580 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:20,320 Something interesting is that there was like stuff that was metal in those things. 581 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:26,600 And you know, we know that metal has a really high melting point and a bonfire usually isn't 582 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:32,360 hot enough to melt fire, melt metal. 583 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:40,640 It completely disintegrated to where there was no, no, no redness of anything left. 584 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:47,360 And so while I was standing there watching all of this burn and I said a phrase and I 585 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:51,800 said, I just escaped the flames of hell. 586 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:58,920 And I was like, now I want to stand at that gates of hell and redirect traffic. 587 00:38:58,920 --> 00:38:59,920 Perfect. 588 00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:00,920 Wow. 589 00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:08,160 For those of you who don't know, I thought it would be really cool to have somebody who 590 00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:13,200 used to get into witchcraft and then God provided me Teresa. 591 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:18,560 And she has so much to share that this is part one of a two-part series. 592 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:22,080 And so we invite you to come back next week. 593 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:25,000 Lord's going to have the Holy Spirit lead that episode as well. 594 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:28,680 And I just want to thank you for sharing all of that with us. 595 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,600 I appreciate your openness, your transparency. 596 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,640 It can't be easy, especially strangers. 597 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,160 And I know you were nervous coming in. 598 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:41,600 And I know that you're probably still a little nervous, but I hope that you have realized 599 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:46,160 this is just an easy experience for easy to get along with. 600 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:47,800 Sure, in God's goodness. 601 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,240 And that God is at the center. 602 00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:50,360 He's been the center of your life. 603 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:54,200 He was that anchor and yet you let go, right? 604 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:58,160 And that little rope that you were hanging on, he pulled up. 605 00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,600 And so he kept you safe. 606 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,880 Like he keeps everyone safe and everyone's journey is different. 607 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,360 And that's the way you need to learn it. 608 00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:08,080 And there may be someone that needs to learn it the same way because there's a lot of 609 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,080 similarities between his children. 610 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:14,080 Like I know for one, he has to teach me the hard way because that's the only way I learn 611 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:15,080 the hard way. 612 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:16,800 I'm stubborn as they come. 613 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:17,800 So. 614 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:22,400 I don't know if I'm just stubborn or if I'm just oblivious to the obvious. 615 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,360 Like it has to be periphery and then I'll catch it. 616 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,600 But if God tells me directly, I'm like, I don't know who you're talking to right now. 617 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,520 It's just going over my head. 618 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:32,520 Yep. 619 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,520 Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. 620 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,680 Listen, let's stay connected. 621 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:41,960 Come follow us on all the socials at God's goodness podcast where you can find the latest 622 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:45,760 and say, Hey, it's a really great way to stay in touch. 623 00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,640 Many of you have asked how you can support the show. 624 00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:52,200 You can make donations through any of the links in the about section. 625 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:58,360 And of course, by praying for us, as well as sharing, rating and reviewing on social media 626 00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,360 and iTunes as well. 627 00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:03,800 Your heartfelt feedback always reminds us why we do this. 628 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:07,240 Until next time, remember, God is always working. 629 00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:11,160 Miracles are real and your breakthrough could be just around the corner. 630 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:15,000 Keep believing, keep expecting, and don't forget to share this with someone who needs 631 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:16,000 hope today. 632 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:32,160 We'll talk to you next week.