1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,840 Welcome to the God's goodness podcast where our mission is to encourage and highlight God's 2 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:17,320 goodness and modern-day miracles. We are your hosts, Josh and Shelley Hankins. Today we have 3 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:24,480 with us a special guest. His name is Ben Hinton and I met him through Ian Wreath and if you 4 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:30,200 haven't listened to Ian's episodes you would be blessed if you do. So go check them out, choose 5 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:36,960 him, we'll serve with the first one and we just encourage you to listen to all those. But Ben is 6 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:42,840 here to share something very near and dear to his heart and he is hoping to encourage you with his 7 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:49,320 story and what the Holy Spirit laid on him. So have him open us up with an opening prayer and then 8 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:59,360 we'll get into it. Dear Lord, I pray that in the winter months that you give us your power of your 9 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:05,440 presence to help us to encourage us to equip us to move through the darkness and into the light. 10 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:12,880 These winter months tend to isolate us. It is not a time for isolation and hibernation but rather a 11 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:20,160 time for faith to rise up. So I just pray to have faith rise up in me and have us to encourage 12 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:25,440 others to encourage ourselves to love others as we love ourselves. So equip us and give us your 13 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:30,160 presence because there's power in your presence. There is lightness and darkness for those that go 14 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:35,440 through seasonal blues or just go through a hard time in the winter months or any other month or 15 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:41,760 season in their life. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Thank you. So where would you like to start Ben? 16 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:49,720 Yeah, first off, thanks for having me. And so yeah, I'm an author and a speaker, author of the book 17 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:55,440 Let Faith Grow, Running Through Diversity. And one of the things I've been thinking about recently, 18 00:01:55,440 --> 00:02:00,240 you know, as I introduce myself as an author and speaker, I'm really trying to be conscientious 19 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:07,520 about, you know, how you state that. So I am a man of faith. I am a Christian first and a father 20 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:13,040 of Jesus. And I'm a runner. That's the title of my book, Running Through Diversity. But I want to 21 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:20,800 make sure I always start with I am, right? I am a man. I am a follower of Christ. I am a man, 22 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:25,920 a follower of Christ, a husband, a father who likes to run. So I think, you know, I really want to 23 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:32,560 emphasize in being Spirit-led today that our identity is in Christ. And that way, you know, 24 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:37,920 we have many titles, but let's limit our identity first. And let's let our titles be part of the 25 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:42,960 lightness to us. Right? So as a runner, that's part of my title. That's not who I am. And I want to 26 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:49,040 emphasize that for people today in the episode. Because my story as an author starts with the 27 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:55,040 worst day of my life, become the best day of my life. Speaking of darkness to lightness, 28 00:02:55,040 --> 00:03:02,400 in 2013, on January 9th, I sustained a traumatic brain injury, falling down a flight of stairs, 29 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:10,320 home alone. I don't remember it. So, but 11 o'clock that day, I stopped texting my fiance, 30 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:16,240 who's now wife and others as well, around 11 o'clock. And then all communication stopped. 31 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:23,440 My fiance, when she came home at 430, found me in the basement. And I was alive and actually 32 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:28,080 sustained not just a brain injury, but multiple injuries, because at some point, 33 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:32,960 right, there's a verse that talks about fall down seven, get up eight. Well, I thought on a flight 34 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:37,760 of stairs and it wasn't just one fall. So I think the spirit within me, right, to get up, to fight, 35 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:44,560 to move, maybe get help, whatever it was, I fell multiple times. But I made it. I made it to the 36 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:52,480 couch and she found me and I was, you know, taken to the hospital, spent 18 days there. Now, when I 37 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:59,040 came home, this is where my story gets very interesting that I want to emphasize. In 2012, 38 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:04,880 I had signed up for a half marathon, because that was going to be something that I was going to 39 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:12,000 achieve in 2013. And I was in the summer or so, maybe the fall of 2012, I signed up for a race. 40 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:19,600 I committed to it. In 2013, I had a traumatic brain injury. Now, life's in the details and the 41 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:28,560 details is in God, because if I did not sign up for the race in 2012, prior to the brain injury, 42 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:35,120 I don't think I would have had an opportunity to overcome. Because I was not in the midst, you know, 43 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:41,040 mental state of mind or spirit after the brain injury. It's not like I had an aha moment. 44 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:46,800 Hey, I'm going to go run a half marathon. Right. Because I couldn't commit to anything. I was lost. 45 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:52,560 I felt broken, but there's a difference between right feeling broken. You know, one of your 46 00:04:52,560 --> 00:05:00,000 guests, Ian, said something to me that as part of my transformation, he said, people aren't broken, 47 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:07,120 people need healed. And that can bring so much peace. And he also said, I would rather take the 48 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:14,080 long way than the wrong way in this life. So again, life's in the details and the details is in God. 49 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:19,840 Because I signed up for the half marathon in 2012, that preparation right was there for me 50 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:28,560 in 2013, because I decided to run the half marathon. Now, I will say I was told you can't run this 51 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,800 half marathon, right? I was told you were lucky to survive, you were lucky to live, right? And so 52 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:37,840 I signed up for this half marathon and they listening to the doctors, right, listening to others around 53 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:42,400 me, my inner circle, the doctor's family, I wasn't going to run the half marathon. So I made a phone 54 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:47,200 call. It was to the Pittsburgh half marathon and I called and not sure her name, this woman had 55 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:51,920 answered. And I said, you know what, I cannot participate in this race. I can't run in it. 56 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:55,280 You know, I don't, I didn't even say it a brain injury, but I said, hey, medically, you know, 57 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:59,440 I don't think I can, I can run this race. And then she said something that changed my life. 58 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:06,960 And she said, okay, well, if you want to defer your bib, you have a couple options. Option number one, 59 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:12,400 you can give your bib away or option number two, you can transfer it and you can sell it. 60 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:19,680 And that was my moment of running my race. That was my moment that I thought, this is defining 61 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:27,200 moment. I have to run this race. I'm not going to give this race away. And so it wasn't motivation, 62 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:32,560 it was inspiration. And I ran the half marathon eight weeks later, and I've been running on, 63 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:39,680 on a mission through my faith ever since. Wow. Incredible. Incredible. 64 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:47,520 I wouldn't even run a marathon, not with an injury. Like, that it takes a special person to be 65 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:53,760 committed to do that. And I read your audio, well, I listened to the audio book. And you just keep 66 00:06:53,760 --> 00:07:01,520 at it. And it's amazing that it was, you just, you just keep going at it. And it's a special person. 67 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:07,920 Thank you. I appreciate it. I work as an EMT. And so I've come across many a person that's fallen 68 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:12,880 downstairs. Yeah, I've never met anybody that has not had to go to the hospital at one point, 69 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:17,280 and it's gone down any significant amount of stairs, let alone repeated attempts, 70 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:22,080 as they attempted to climb up the stairs and fell back down, which I'm sure there's a few of them. 71 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:28,960 But the injuries is sustained, muscular, skeletal, internal injuries, of course, the TBI. 72 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:37,920 I don't think people understand just how crippling a TBI can be, how life altering a traumatic brain 73 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:44,640 injury can be, and that you are sitting here speaking to us about running marathons is truly 74 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:52,000 a miracle. You are clearly favored by God. You clearly have a reason to be. You clearly have a 75 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:59,040 mission and a purpose on your heart. Yes, I love EMTs and what they do and the medical field, 76 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:04,720 there are so many people that are just, like you said, favorable for what they do in their work 77 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:11,360 for others. In fact, my best friend, his name is Dr. Paramba, who wrote the Ford of my book. 78 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:16,560 So my wife at the time, fiance, when she found him, she came home, the first call that she made 79 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:23,120 was to Dr. Paramba. And when she called him, they were talking because she said he's in here, 80 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:27,040 he's alive, he's talking, he's under where, which I don't know why I was in my underwear, 81 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:31,840 I was doing laundry or whatever. So, you know, he can talk, he's kind of coherent, 82 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:37,920 I'm asking what happened. Now, what she didn't see was apparently I was on the left side, 83 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:42,640 I was laying on my left side on the couch and there was blood coming from the brain bleed. 84 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:46,320 So she didn't see that. Now there was blood all over the place. She said, you know, in the past, 85 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:51,280 it looked like a scene from CSI, that kind of thing. So anyway, they're talking and he heard 86 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:57,280 me gagging and that was his sign of like, you got to get him now. So, but for her to call him first, 87 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,920 right, to have the trust in him as an EMT, as my best friend, and for him to be the one to say, 88 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:08,000 do this right now, I'll meet you there. Like, that's, I'm favorable, you know, God is favor, 89 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:13,120 is favors me, but there's so much more, right? And just that alone, I'm forever grateful for him 90 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:17,920 because there's so many backstories of just not that, just that moment, but then the moments 91 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:22,720 within the moment, like Dr. Paramban, how he became a doctor, how he became friends as kids and 92 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:29,440 growing up. And, but with, you know, the EMT part. So apparently when the EMTs got there, 93 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:35,600 I was competitive and I was in my underwear. So originally they thought it was like, 94 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:41,040 you know, alcohol or drugs, I was, you know, I was not right because I didn't want to get in 95 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:48,320 the post-ecal after a seizure or maybe diabetic and hypoglycemic and get a little, you know, 96 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:52,080 I wouldn't go to drugs immediately. Yeah. I mean, they also had all kinds of thoughts. So when I 97 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,760 was being combative, you know, of like not wanting to get a stretcher and that kind of stuff, they 98 00:09:55,760 --> 00:10:00,160 didn't know what just happened, right? Who would? Because it's like, when you get another scene, 99 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:05,600 it's an EMT, like you're just seeing what you see. And I've had so many other medical complications 100 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:11,520 prior to that injury as well. But I'm blessed in the sense, and I say this, that that was the 101 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:17,040 worst day, became my best day. Because, you know, that's when I truly know new as times 102 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:25,280 go on. My life first, my pastor gave me as I was recovering. You know, he said, Second Timothy 1, 103 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:32,000 7, Second Timothy chapter one, verse seven, he said, it says, for God did not give us a spirit 104 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:38,960 of timidity, but rather a spirit of power, love and self control. And as you mentioned, brain 105 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:43,840 injuries, other things, strokes, things that happen to us, right? They're invisible injuries, 106 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,280 or the irony in that, or I'll say, you know, the details, because the license, the details, 107 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:53,920 the details is in God. For me, I love the fact that, okay, I have a brain injury, I have an 108 00:10:53,920 --> 00:11:00,240 invisible injury. But guess what? I have faith, right? And faith is by vision, not by sight. 109 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:06,240 So I can fight it, right? But I don't have to fight it, God fights for me. So the process of 110 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:11,440 the choice, what he's saying there is for God did not give us a spirit of timidity, 111 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:17,040 that's a choice. And when you see that that's your choice for yourself, right, and he's given 112 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:22,480 you a spirit of power, love and self control, the blessing out of that is over time, what I learned, 113 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:29,520 and it was very hard, and a lot of wilderness in this journey, right, in isolation, in the transition 114 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:38,400 from isolation to the wilderness. But leader of one, leader of many, if I can't lead one, I can't 115 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:44,160 lead any. So the blessing is that this was the opportunity that God gave me to be a leader of 116 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:50,800 one, because we had been engaged for six months, we still ended up getting married, and we had plans, 117 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:55,920 right, plans for kids, plans for all of these things. So I had a lot of struggles, I was in 118 00:11:55,920 --> 00:12:01,040 the wilderness for a while, but the blessing of it was that my kids see me as a leader now, 119 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:07,600 because I was forced for good reasons to be a leader of one first. And that's a huge thing for me 120 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:11,760 in the journey, but even now is being a leader in the household, right, being a leader as a man. 121 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:18,720 And I'm thankful that the opportunity was to be a leader of one, because I don't know when I was at 122 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:25,040 the age of 26, when I had it, I don't know if my life was in that trajectory, right. I think I had a 123 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:32,720 lot more setbacks or things that I wasn't even aware of, talking about eventual injuries. Well, 124 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,240 let's talk about the invisible things in our lives that we don't see, right, the invisible 125 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:43,040 paths that we're taking, you know, like before my brain injury in hindsight, I was trying to take 126 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:48,720 God where I wanted to go. And if I were to continue that path, and the brain injury didn't exist, 127 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:54,240 if I was taking God where I wanted to go, guess what I would do with my children, guess what I 128 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:59,440 do with my wife, right. So there's more blessings than there were adversities in my opinion. 129 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,600 But you would agree that the world would look at your adversity and think they would be insurmountable. 130 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:10,960 Yeah, the world looks at you broken, right. And I think that's kind of one of those kind of like, 131 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:15,840 I got you, right. And I just I was listening to a friend's podcast, he was talking about lumens, 132 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,920 he's talking about LED lights, and he was talking about with children and babies, they have like 133 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:26,560 20,000 lumens, 20,000 lights. And what happens over time, right, those lights, they get turned out, 134 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:31,840 they get burned out, taken away, right. And a lot of times the world, or the adults that they're with 135 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:36,400 their families, and their lights are burned out, right. And they don't know what they didn't, 136 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:41,040 they don't know. And so yeah, the world after my brain injury, especially as an adult, with 137 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:47,040 a brain injury, the world looked at me broken. And that's my one of my that was my biggest struggle 138 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:52,800 is having a brain injury as an adult. I never felt more broken, because I was an adult. And 139 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,880 you have a sex expectation when you're adult, like, I got to figure it out, or I have to, 140 00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:01,920 I should know what I should know. And the broken part of it was that I literally, because I, 141 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:07,280 for the longest time, I didn't remember when I went to college, I didn't remember names. I didn't 142 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,600 remember my wife's birthday for the longest time. Things that I was struggling with that, guess what 143 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:16,720 I did? Well, I brushed him under the rug, right, I hid them, right, I tried to find out not coping 144 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,480 mechanisms, to find out a way that I'd have to like show my identity, right, because I was embarrassed 145 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,960 of not knowing things that I should know, and trying to figure out like, okay, what's a real 146 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:30,320 memory was not a real memory. So the, yeah, the world looked at me like I was broken. But it's 147 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:36,160 due to God and through my faith that I realized, right, that I'm not broken as Ezean said, that 148 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:40,480 we're not broken, we just need healed. And it just took a long time and the journey for that. 149 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:45,920 It's amazing, because most people would be sitting there recovering and mending to their wounds. 150 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:54,080 And you, I realized I'm going to train for the South Marathon. So their tenacity is inspiring, 151 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:58,720 because you didn't just sit there like a lot of people would hear like, I'm still going to 152 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:03,120 do what I said I'm going to do. And you trained and you've been going ever since. 153 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:11,200 You know, and the other thing too is I've said this, like for the last year, something that came 154 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:17,760 to me was I love to tell people, because here's the thing vulnerability, especially for men, 155 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:24,880 because men have a hard time with being vulnerable. But vulnerability went to men specifically, 156 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:31,040 when two men are vulnerable, it creates a bond that's unbreakable. And so vulnerability is 157 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:36,400 true strength. And so what happens with vulnerability, and it doesn't have to be men, but in general, 158 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:42,080 right, we look at vulnerability as a weakness. But here's the thing about that is when we're 159 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:47,280 vulnerable, what we're really doing is, okay, we're living in our problems, right? We're hiding 160 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:52,400 in our problems, hiding the darkness. And here's what I would say, your problems aren't unique, 161 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:59,600 but your gifts are. And sometimes, and I, someone asked me this months ago, they said, 162 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:04,800 Ben, you know, I was at church this weekend, and, you know, I noticed they talk a lot about the 163 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,880 Old Testament. Like, why is he always talking about the Old Testament? Why are the songs the 164 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:13,200 Old Testament? And I answered the individual then. And as time went on, I still think about this 165 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:18,560 question today. And it's helped me in my faith. Because I realized, well, here's why the Old 166 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,640 Testament is is still talked about, and it's still relevant, because the Old Testament is a New 167 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:27,280 Testament in vice versa. Because you have the prophet Isaiah, who prophesied for over 700 years. 168 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:32,720 And you hear things, and I forget the exact scripture. But there was a in the Psalms, 169 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:38,000 David said, why have you forsaken me? Okay, he's those are the exact words that he said. 170 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:42,560 And as Jesus was being crucified, he said, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? 171 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:48,640 Okay, so we know there's power in your words, right? So when it comes to gifts, 172 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:55,280 like, I don't say I get timid and speaking of the word, like, verse timidity. But you know, 173 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:59,440 you hear people say things like, well, you're amazing, you're a miracle, all these things. 174 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:04,080 And those are great things, right? But we want to focus on, like, I share my story, 175 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:08,480 so you can see yourself in my story. Right? That's the Bible, that's Jesus Christ, right? 176 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:15,040 Because he died as a man, right? He tasted death for us to have victory. So when I think about 177 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:19,760 like the things I went through, right? Well, let's, let's go if you want to know your ending, 178 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:24,320 or if you want to know your ending, go back to the beginning. So if you want to know your revelations, 179 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:31,120 go back to the beginning to understand it. So for me, in my story, it goes further back than 180 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:35,360 just the brain injury, further back than just those eight weeks. Like that's, that's incredible, 181 00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:40,080 that's inspirational. That's amazing. But let's go further back. I was born with meningitis and 182 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:46,960 cephalitis. At six weeks, I was diagnosed with it. Okay, it's, it's speaking of invisible injuries, 183 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:53,440 brain injury, invisible, guess what, meningitis and cephalitis, invisible. It's an, it's incurable. 184 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:57,600 I still have it to this day. Now, did it cause a brain injury? I don't know. And at this point in 185 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:02,160 my life, I don't care, because it's not, it's kind of irrelevant. Right? Just add it, add it to the 186 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:06,880 mix. Exactly. God's getting you through this. I'll get you through that too. Yeah. And so having a 187 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:13,920 medical diagnosis at six weeks old, right? Growing up with it, I had setbacks prior to January 9th. 188 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:20,160 And so here's what I didn't know what I didn't know. I had always been in fight or flight. 189 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:26,160 And even after my brain injury, and today sometime I'm still in flight, fight or flight. But when I 190 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:34,400 say that your, your problems aren't your gifts are, well, my gifts were right. That I lost sight in 191 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:40,400 my right eye when I was in seventh grade. Then I almost lost sight of my left eye when I was 16. 192 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:48,320 And every time I had all these setbacks, I was forced to fire and how I was handled it, right? 193 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:53,360 So that's why I ran eight weeks after my brain injury, not because of that situation, right? 194 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:58,640 Because of the things that happened for the way I handled it. Now I will say, as I said before, 195 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:02,960 I was always shaking, trying to take God where I wanted to go. So all the adversities that I 196 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:10,560 ever came growing up, I always gave myself the win as opposed to giving him the praise. So now 197 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:15,760 I'm so thankful. And that's why the worst days become my best day, because my biggest fear, 198 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:20,800 because we have to understand what our biggest fear is so we can put our fear in the Lord. My biggest 199 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:27,280 fear was when success comes my way, I'll take his praise away. So all of the adversities, 200 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:31,520 all the things I went through growing up, right? I didn't have my mom, a single mom. I didn't have 201 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:35,760 someone in my family that said, you know, the word of the God, right? I did go to church, but we 202 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,440 didn't have conversations. We didn't talk about it. Like my mom always would say, you're a miracle 203 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:45,040 child. And that put a chip in my shoulder. See, and that's why I tried to take God where I wanted 204 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:49,920 to go. Because I thought my assignment was that I have to fix this, that I have to be the man of 205 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:54,640 the house. And being the man of the house was I'm in the one, I'm the man, having an ego, all of these 206 00:19:54,640 --> 00:20:01,120 things. And that's just not the case. And so over time, I was able to let faith grow and let fear go. 207 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:05,440 Because at the end of the day, having a chip in your shoulder, right? I wanted to be perfect. 208 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:11,760 And so eventually, like the tipping of the iceberg was all the adversities I had prior to the brain 209 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:16,320 injury. The brain injury was like, that was the tip of the iceberg, right? That was when I just 210 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:21,280 could not overcome. I could overcome all the other ones. So how did I overcome the brain injury? 211 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:27,840 He overcame the brain injury. And that's where the blessing was, you know, is to know that, okay, 212 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:33,200 he's the one in control. And now I could kind of see, you know, how I'm strong. And he's given me 213 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,960 so many gifts. He's given me so many gifts to be stubborn. He's given me so many gifts to be 214 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:42,480 headstrong and to want to work out all the time. And the other piece of it too, to be on a tangent, 215 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:47,760 but the other piece of it too, is what running eight weeks, or half a minute on eight weeks after 216 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:55,760 working out was always my safe space. I wanted to play in the back. I want to play in the NBA. 217 00:20:55,760 --> 00:21:03,200 I wanted to be an athlete. And here's why. And mom, as I said, was a single mom, alcoholic, right? 218 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:08,000 I didn't have a safe space. My home wasn't safe space. Where was my safe space? The basketball 219 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:14,320 court. It got to the point as I got older. And again, here is life's new details and details 220 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:20,560 of God, thinking that I wanted to be in the NBA. We lived about three or four miles from the closest 221 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:25,280 gym. And where I used to live growing up, there was 100 acres of woods. And there was only three 222 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:30,960 houses. It was me, my mom's house, or my mom and I's house, my grandparents house and then a trailer. 223 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:37,680 Okay, there was no one else over the age of me. Okay, it was all elderly or my mom who was always 224 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:42,880 working. And I now have a safe space. So I'd always want to play basketball. And again, the basketball 225 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:46,800 court, the gym, the asium, that basically was my second home that I got made fun of a lot as a kid, 226 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,400 because that's where I was all the time. And everyone must have thought that was weird or odd. 227 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:56,560 But that was my safe space. That was God taking me to that place, right? And so as I got older, 228 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:01,200 and my grandpa couldn't take me, right, I would get I got hit getting older, I wanted to play so 229 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,040 bad, I want to go to the gym play with the older guys, why couldn't drive, right? So here's what I 230 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:10,800 would do, especially in the summertime, just to play basketball, which was what my focus was. 231 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:17,520 How did I get there? I'd have to run three or four miles to the gym, and three or four miles back. 232 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:24,800 God was in control. I can run now, because he had me running then, I just didn't know it. 233 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:30,080 But that was an aha moment of like, okay, God, you're in this all the time. It wasn't just about 234 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:36,160 basketball. It was bigger than that. And it always is. The other one I had was, I respected my grandfather 235 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,440 so much. If you ever want to know what my grandfather looked like, who's no longer with us, 236 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:45,440 just go to Google and put a Google search in for Clint Eastwood. The two could have been brothers. 237 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:49,600 Maybe they were, I don't know. Maybe I didn't hear, you know, necessarily didn't hear about, 238 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:53,120 but they looked exactly like and they they act exactly like I mean, who they were. 239 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:59,280 And so I respected my grandfather so much, who's my father figure. And one time, and my mom also 240 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,960 really did a good job of emphasizing respect to elders. So I respected my grandfather. 241 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:08,800 Anyway, so one time, I was maybe around a teenager, we kind of started gotten a little bit of an 242 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:14,080 argument. And it got to the point where I knew I a couldn't win this argument and B, there was no 243 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:18,960 point in just, you know, keep it going. And I was just going to let it go. So I got so frustrated 244 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:24,320 that instead of being defensive or instead of yelling at him or instead of whatever, I had a 245 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:29,360 moment and it almost like the injury, the brain injury of where that force got moment, right? 246 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:36,640 I just started running. Got so mad. But instead of taking that anger on an elderly, right, or my 247 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:43,200 father figure, I turned around and just started running. Next thing I know, I ran about eight 248 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:48,720 miles at least without even stopping without even hesitating. Now, this is the point where it's like 249 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:53,680 if people remember dial up phones, right, rotary phones, even, and there's no cell phones or no 250 00:23:53,680 --> 00:24:00,720 nothing, right? And so I ran away from the situation, just like Moses did, right? When he killed two 251 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:05,360 men, he ran away. God knew he was going to run away. That's why God met him with the burning 252 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:09,680 bush. So I ran away. And next thing I know, I'm eight miles out. And I don't know what clip I was 253 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:14,720 running, but it was pretty fast. And then the ironic part was out of all because this argument 254 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:20,240 that I had with him, no phones, all that kind of stuff. When I finally stopped, I knew where I was, 255 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:25,920 but yet I didn't because I'm like, crap, how many at home? So the funny part was I had to go into 256 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:31,920 some random business and say, Hey, can I use your phone? And, and again, I respected my grandfather, 257 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,680 especially because he was disciplinary, you know, I thought, Oh man, he's gonna, I'm done. 258 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:40,480 You know, like, now he's gonna pick me up. Like, come on, I just ruined his day. We got an argument. 259 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:46,640 He did it with grace, with love. Right. And so that was my other aha moment of like my running 260 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:52,000 moment, like I can run down a good runner, because God always had me run. And the last part of it, 261 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:59,440 I'll say is I always get to where I'm going by walking away from where I've been. 262 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:05,200 In the Israelites, right, when they were in the desert, they had a moment of 263 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:11,200 love. We want to go back. But where were they going back to slavery? Where are they going back? 264 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:16,320 Right. You did you just mean? Come ability. Come ability. And where did you, what did you do? 265 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:21,520 You brought here just to die? They didn't understand. We get to, we get to read that and 266 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:27,360 understand what was ahead of them, right? As if the hardship in the wilderness was worse than 267 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:32,320 the hardship of being a slave. Right. And the hardship of the wilderness was, Hey, 268 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:37,920 the hardship now leads to the promised land. Right. We get to see that they didn't. Right. 269 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:44,400 So now I'm thinking about that in the scripture at all time in my life, because I held on to playing 270 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,560 basketball in the dream of playing basketball after my brain injury. I was coaching at the time. 271 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:53,520 So my plate was so full. I was a brain recovery. Right. I was a young adult. I was married. And then 272 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:57,280 I was still trying to play basketball and I was still holding on to that tightly, which is why I 273 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:03,600 say let faith grow, let fear go. Cause sometimes what happens is we have faith, right? In a dream, 274 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,440 hardship, right? We're in hardship and we want to go back to comfortability rather than being 275 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:14,160 hardship, right? Which is our faith and we have a dream. We have a goal. All of these external factors, 276 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:20,960 right? Are holding us back from letting faith grow. So what happens is, and this was me, 277 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:25,760 I was still trying to play basketball. So I was recovering from a brain injury. I wasn't married. 278 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:31,520 We wouldn't have kids. I was starting to get into running. I was coaching basketball. I was wanting 279 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:38,480 to play basketball on a higher level, right? And if you say yes to everything, you say no 280 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:43,840 to everything, right? You can't serve everyone. If you serve everyone, you serve no one. 281 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:50,480 So I wasn't serving God. I had all of these things going on. And so I was in a basketball game playing 282 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:57,920 on a weekend on a Saturday. And my walking away moment where I truly walked away from basketball 283 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:04,800 was I was in this pickup game with the older men and during the game, I had taken a shot and 284 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,960 I'm sorry, I didn't take the shot. Another individual on the team took a shot and it was an 285 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,640 in-of-i shot. Just wasn't a good shot. Fundamentally, all of these different things. Anyway, he takes 286 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:18,960 his shot, he misses it and I'm busting my butt to get this rebound. And I couldn't get the rebound 287 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:23,680 because of my balance system, you know, all of these things that I should have got it, but I didn't. 288 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:29,760 And when I didn't, going back down the court and this other adult male yells, he says, 289 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:38,000 grab the f-ing rebound. And I feel shattered. And I was mad because it was his fault for the 290 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,760 ill-of-i shot. And here I am trying to cover him up, right? Trying to get this ball, trying to 291 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,800 hustle. And he doesn't know what he doesn't know, right? He doesn't know I had a brain injury. He 292 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:49,600 doesn't know I'm broken, all these things that I'm dealing with. And that was my not breaking moment, 293 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:55,280 but in a way, my refining moment. So I go in the gym and it's not like I was all alone. I go in the 294 00:27:55,280 --> 00:28:00,960 gym, I look in the mirror and I started crying. I was like, what am I doing? I can't play this game 295 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:08,240 anymore. I just can't do it. So that was my moment of I always get to where I'm going by walking away 296 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:14,240 from where I've been. And that's when I let running through adversity. And I committed to not running, 297 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:18,480 like I thought I was a runner. But again, to go back to the, if you want to know your ending, 298 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:24,000 go to the beginning. The beginning, I said, I did say I am a runner, but I am a child of God 299 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:29,920 first. Who likes to run? And I'm blessed to run. And that Saturday morning, I walked away from that. 300 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:35,280 And I've been running ever since. And I've been improving ever since. As you get older, right? 301 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:40,560 You get fresher when you don't improve. I started, my first marathon was five hours and 49 minutes. 302 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:49,840 I'm now realistically shooting for two hours and 49 minutes or less. But it's not because of the 303 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:56,640 running, right? It's because who's leading me. Incredible. That reminded me of your gifts. When 304 00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:02,800 you were running, when you were younger and didn't have a purpose with it yet. It reminded me of, 305 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:09,440 back in the day, I was voted most talkative in my high school class. And now God's using that gift 306 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:15,680 in a broadcast to bring him glory and make him a star, something they'll always remember. So it's 307 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:21,120 just, and then we all have the same problems. It reminded me of Shayla Huber's episode, 10 Things I 308 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:25,360 Hate About My Husband. Nice. How God healed my heart and restored my marriage and set me free. 309 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:30,240 She has his book and she shares problems that she dealt with in her marriage. And there's so many 310 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:35,040 women that can be like, Oh my gosh, that's my marriage too. And it turns out I'm the problem. 311 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:40,320 But you know, so go listen to that episode. Don't take it on yourself. 312 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,800 Generally, I am the problem. But we work on your story. You're not alone. 313 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:51,200 Yeah, we all have a lot of the similar problems. So we're all in this together that and then if we 314 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:57,120 actually sat down with one another, we could have that emphasize or not emphasize, empathize with 315 00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:03,680 one another. Like, yeah, because every couple has the spender and the saver, the person who leaves 316 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:09,040 the floor drove and they don't get it in the hamper because you're not ready to part with 317 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:14,160 that piece of clothing yet. And it's just every marriage has the same struggle, say. 318 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:22,720 And to me, it's so unique to see like you and my wife where you have been called to a younger age 319 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,080 to do something that you didn't know you were called to do it. It was just something you did. 320 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:32,960 And I've never experienced that. And I see it in you. I see it in my life. I've seen it in other 321 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,240 people. It's not everybody. It's not everybody's gift. Not everybody's calling. Not everybody's 322 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:42,320 not everything that God uses to call people. You know, I feel more like God's junk drawer. 323 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:46,240 You know, I'm not I'm not the most useful thing. But when you really, really, really need something, 324 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:52,800 it's in there. Yeah, you're the Swiss army knife in the junk drawer. Yeah, well, I mean, I honestly, 325 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:57,040 I believe I'm the whole junk drawer. Like whatever you can stuff in one is what God has equipped 326 00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:02,880 me to be in those moments. And it's not great for fixing a car. But it's enough to get the car 327 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:11,920 down the hill. You know, it's thinking about, you know, gifts, and you said being talkative, 328 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:16,800 you know, like, when we think about like the devil, right, sometimes you give the devil too 329 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:21,840 much credit, you know, like, it's almost like I want to say it was in Job, right, where God and 330 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:29,440 the devil, God said, Here's what you can do. So the devil could test Job. But God's confidence was 331 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:36,160 like, it doesn't matter what test you give him. So the devil's only allowed that what lie, steal, 332 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:42,880 right, and distract. So one of the things I've always said, I said started saying this in the 333 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:49,280 beginning of January this year, was faith advances in fear infiltrates. The devil wants to infiltrate. 334 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:53,280 Right. Why does he want to infiltrate? Because he doesn't want faith advancing. 335 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:59,040 That's the inevitable that faith is going to advance. So when you were saying that, you know, 336 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:04,480 I went through things that God, you know, was there providing for me, I kind of think it's 337 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:09,120 God is such a sense of humor, because he's essentially like, look, I'm going to stand 338 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:13,200 aside, I'm going to stand in the back, which he was right. He's in front of you behind you, 339 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:17,600 left to your right, all of those things. But in those moments, those seasons where you don't see 340 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:22,160 him, and it's the devil's tempting you, the devil's distracting you like basketball is an idol, that 341 00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:26,960 was my distraction. But God was using that against the devil, right. And that's why I think it's 342 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:32,720 hilarious. And that gives me even more power. He just wove all those details together, like you 343 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:36,960 want to go to basketball, but you have to run to get there. Right. He's like, just playing with that 344 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:41,840 little, you took that step. And you know, and I'm an analytical person. And that's why, you know, 345 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:46,240 with basketball, I love the game of basketball, right? I always had to pay attention to the game 346 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:51,360 of basketball, especially losing sight in my right eye, when I did want the first thing I 347 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:55,360 wanted to do. And here's the thing, though, I was young, right? So I had a brain injury when I was 348 00:32:55,360 --> 00:33:00,320 older. The biggest test of my life was when I was older, right? And I had all the other little tests. 349 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:04,400 I'm not saying you weren't big, but they weren't as big as the brain injury. But having these little 350 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:09,680 tests when I'm younger, well, what do we have when kids are childlike faith, kids are resilient, 351 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:14,400 kids bounce back. So again, that's another advantage for me. It's not a disadvantage. 352 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:21,200 So I have all these things against me that I'm, you know, stacked up. And so the depth perception, 353 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:25,360 right? Which when I, when it comes to depth perception visually, which I had an issue with, 354 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,960 people like, how'd you overcome that? Well, I know it was God. But when you think about 355 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:34,240 depth perception, right? Someone said, how do you balance things out? A question was asked to a 356 00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:39,200 friend of mine who's a wife, a mother, and a pod, I don't know if she's a podcaster, but she's all 357 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:42,320 these like ultra events, like ultra marathons, all these different things that she's not a 358 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:46,080 manure. How do you balance it all? She said, there's no such thing as balance. There's only 359 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:53,600 awareness. I like to think of it as spatial awareness, right? Depth perception. And so to wrap it up, 360 00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:58,080 with perception and struggling and trying to become the best basketball player I could be, 361 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:03,520 I'd work extra harder. And that's my advantage because after, so I can't see out of my right eye, 362 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:08,640 after the brain injury, I can't hear my left ear to this day, and it still rings every day. 363 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:15,680 But my balance system was affected on my left side to my advantage, because now I can't see 364 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:22,320 my right eye. I can't see my left arm. I can't. My left side is shattered or broken. And if you 365 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:27,280 could maybe kind of understand us a little bit with EMT in the body, basically it's kind of 366 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:31,520 bouncing to their out. It's much better to be able to see out of my not in the weight on your 367 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:37,760 tire, if you get a rotated, so they're balanced. Yeah. So perfect. When I when I started running, 368 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:43,200 the funny thing is, I think it's funny. When I was training for this half marathon, 369 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:47,920 again, I was at risk to fall for six months because my balance system was shattered. 370 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:54,560 I not knowing this now, I had so much faith in God and just going out and running, right? And I 371 00:34:54,560 --> 00:35:01,600 was always running. I'm running along like the neighborhood roads. And so it's like, I'm at risk 372 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:09,520 to fall. I was so extra careful, like mentally, when I was running, that I didn't fall, go to the 373 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:14,720 left just enough that I would get hit by a car, right? Or trip or fall. So I was putting so much 374 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:20,560 faith in God, right? To lead me. And that was another thing I'm thankful for. And again, 375 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:24,080 those details of when I was a kid, those things I had to focus on as extra, 376 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,760 this is my depth perception, to become the best basketball player it could be. Now, 377 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:37,040 it's, that's God's using me, right? Your adversities are others blessings. Like my adversities are 378 00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:41,360 just to bless others. Just like you said, other people have problems, right? And they're just 379 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:45,840 maybe at different times in those problems, but they're all very, very similar. And so when we 380 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:51,040 hear other people's problems, that's part of the darkness of lightness. We see the lightness and 381 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,760 it's, we're, oh, we're curious. We start to come out a little bit more, right? And then you're like, 382 00:35:55,760 --> 00:36:01,440 Oh my gosh, me too. And when you have that me too moment, that's fellowship. And then all of a sudden, 383 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:06,000 fellowship turns into community. It turns into, wow, I'm no longer in the darkness. 384 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:11,600 Oh, and you're no longer alone. Right. And you know, so now it's like isolation, 385 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:16,160 it's over, right? The hibernation. And the last thing I'll say this is too, is the wilderness. 386 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:23,920 I grew up fearing the wilderness, maybe, or I don't want to say my faith, 387 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:28,240 but I just had such a different outlook on the wilderness. Now, when I look at the wilderness, 388 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:33,920 I think that's what we're found. Because Matthew chapter four, he was led into the wilderness, 389 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:37,920 spirit led in the wilderness, right? He was tempted for 40 days and 40 nights. 390 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:43,600 And then after that is when is this like, or ministry was. So now when I look at the 391 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:48,880 wilderness, I think of like, that's my time of preparation. So I want to share my wilderness, 392 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:54,160 tell others in their wilderness. How interesting you phrased it that your time in the wilderness 393 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:59,760 was a time of preparation. It seems a lot like John the Baptist, whose time in the wilderness was a 394 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:05,280 time of preparation. Yeah. Just throw that one out there for you. I don't know if you've realized 395 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:10,800 that when you said it. Yeah. And all of the others that were led into the wilderness prior to that 396 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:17,360 as well. I want to say it was Elijah was led into the wilderness. And there's even a point where Elijah, 397 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:25,600 an angel gave him bread on a stone. And then what does Jesus say to the tempter? He uses the words 398 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:32,000 of God, not just the words of God, but we get to see where those words were used with man, 399 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:37,680 because Jesus was man who died right for us. But he the trenches, your your leadership is 400 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:45,280 born in trenches. Jesus was in the trenches. His trials have blazed trails for us. And that's 401 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:51,920 again, why our problems are unique. We have to share them because those will blaze trails for 402 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:57,520 others. That and every everything that you bring in the lightness will flee. Right. Darkness cannot 403 00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:01,600 exist where there's light. Yes. Right. There's no such thing as darkness. There's no way for us 404 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:08,320 to gauge darkness. All we can gauge is the absence of light. And so I mean, it's the same as with 405 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:14,240 cold. We can't measure cold. We can only measure the absence of heat. Yes. And I love to throw this 406 00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:19,280 one out there when they say that God created evil. I say he didn't. Right. All evil is is the absence 407 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:24,000 of good. Yeah. And so when you take God completely out of something, you were left with evil. 408 00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:29,760 Period. Because that is what space without God is. And there's got only going to be one place 409 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:37,440 where there's not light. Right now, all we see is we think we might be dark. There's always light 410 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:42,240 there. There's only one place that there's not light. Sometimes we have to take a step back 411 00:38:42,240 --> 00:38:48,480 from where we are just to see where God is in it, because he's too close. Yes. Yes. Right. When you 412 00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:52,560 think I can't see him, I can't feel you. I feel smothered just because he's the one smothering you. 413 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:58,560 Right. It's not your problem. It's him. He's so close. He's so abundantly upon top of you that 414 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:04,400 you are completely encompassed by the will of God that sometimes you have to take a step back to 415 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:12,560 see that yes, in fact, he is cradling you in those moments. Yes. The Holy Spirit reminded me of this 416 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:19,120 post I saw recently, and that was going around that faith and fear are both believing in something 417 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:28,560 you can't see. So choose wisely. And that's so good. Also, and this is why faith is so 418 00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:35,680 so connected. Right? So we have to have so much discernment. The other part of that too, to piggy 419 00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:44,240 back off of that, because I love that faith and fear both have a future that is unknown. 420 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:53,120 So put your hope in the future just means that time hasn't cut off yet. Yeah. If you put your hope 421 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:58,720 in the future, now you're sweating with aggressive patience. So I love that. Doesn't make much sense 422 00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:03,520 to put your hope in the fear. Right. No. No, that won't get you in the car. We do it all the time 423 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:10,640 now as people. Yeah. We do it all the time. Yes. Well, thank you so much for sharing all of this, 424 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:14,160 Ben. Thanks for having me. Do you have anything else on your heart that you wanted to share? 425 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:19,440 That was good. No, just, you know, the very last thing I'll say is 426 00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:25,360 progress over perfection. We talk about fear a lot right now and in general, or we think about it 427 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:31,600 a lot. Right. So let's not be our own worst enemies. The longest relationship you're going 428 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:37,200 to have in your life is with yourself. That's why we want to be a leader of one. So in a way, 429 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:42,960 kind of maybe an ending prayer would be this, progress over perfection. Don't beat yourself up. 430 00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:48,560 That's if we beat ourselves up, right? If you're infiltrates, right? If we beat ourselves up or 431 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:53,920 doing his work. So number one, progress over perfection. And number two, when I say LFG, 432 00:40:53,920 --> 00:41:00,560 which is let faith grow, let fear go. I really want listeners to understand and take this home. 433 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:08,720 That I, and this is just to let you release and to let you be present. There's power in your 434 00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:17,600 presence. Peace is an entryway, not an escape. So I would rather live a life of many failures 435 00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:25,120 than one regret. And that's let faith grow. Because if we get to that old age where we're 436 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:30,960 asked questions, the majority of time, it's a regret. And if we hold on and hold on and hold 437 00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:37,200 on and don't let go, don't let the seed plant, that seed becomes regret. We squeeze the life out of 438 00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:41,600 it out of ourselves. And like you said, with the lightness, we're going to squeeze it out of everyone 439 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:53,440 else around us. So don't fear failure. Failure is fine. Life of failure rather than one regret, 440 00:41:53,440 --> 00:42:00,800 which might be coming to Jesus. They teach you, America, fail fast. Fail a lot. Because the more 441 00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:06,000 nose you get, the more yeses you'll encounter because you built that muscle of, you know, 442 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:13,840 doing your thing. So thank you so much. I appreciate being here. Thank you for being with us. 443 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:20,960 Yeah, what a unique story. Just another way that God has overcome. A TBI again is in every way 444 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:26,400 traumatic, just like the T and it stands for. And people don't normally get back to, they can, 445 00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:30,800 but they don't normally get to have a life or something at somebody like 446 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:38,480 that your previous life would say would be a life or living. And thank God that he is able and 447 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:43,920 willing to do things in our lives, even through adversity. And I am so glad that you're learning 448 00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:48,720 the lesson that he's trying to teach you since birth, where he's just completely like harming your 449 00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:57,760 mind and things for a purpose that is so beyond our sight. And I say jokingly, I hope you learned 450 00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:04,560 your lesson because what else do you want to endure? Right. Yeah. I don't want to be like Job's 451 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:09,360 friends and saying something that's not true. Yeah. Just wanted to be funny. It's really 452 00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:15,120 unfathomable to think of your parents when they looked at you as a baby. And then, you know, 453 00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:19,680 and then they see you're healed from this meningitis, right? This is something that does claim 454 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:25,280 lives. And then they think, Hey, you're a miracle. They put this on you. Right. Right. And now you 455 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:30,400 have to grow into this. Yeah. This isn't something God gave you. This is something that somebody 456 00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:34,160 else gave you that you're trying to walk into and live into and try to live out. And that's a lot 457 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:40,080 of a burden for somebody to try to live up to being a miracle. Right. Right. And my parents never 458 00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:46,560 called me one. So I had a low bar and it made things a lot easier for me. Right. Now once they 459 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:51,520 call me a miracle. And so I never thought that I never had, I never, I never had something. He 460 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:57,280 totally was. Yeah. But I told him, right. And it's exactly. He's the head of the septomy and then 461 00:43:57,280 --> 00:44:04,400 he was born. Wow. So that's, that's a miracle right there. Right. And so, and, and, you know, 462 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:10,320 I had no idea, you know, as a baby and I wasn't raised as a child. God basically saying, I don't 463 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:15,520 need you like with that miracle. Right. He's like, no, I, this is what I will do. Like that year. 464 00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:22,080 That's a miracle though, right there. Yeah. Wow. I know I've got. And he was born addicted to nothing 465 00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:26,240 even though his mom was on a bunch of drugs when she was pregnant with him. So like he was totally 466 00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:32,800 a miracle. Right. That's why we laughed. Well, no, that's, I'm, I'm so glad you said that though 467 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:39,440 because that it's all in the story, right. The likes and the details and the tales and God, 468 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:45,200 because here's the thing. I think it was today's verse. The day was Isaiah 111. I think is what 469 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:50,320 it was. Okay. Talking about the root. Okay. And then the root become the fruit. But you look into it's 470 00:44:50,320 --> 00:45:00,480 the bad fruit becoming the good root. Okay. Which is Jesus, the perfect man. Right. His genealogy 471 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:06,160 was so imperfect. Oh yeah. That's the story right there. Like you were all three of us are living 472 00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:10,160 the story in one way or the other. And when I say one way or the other, because we're all the hands 473 00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:14,240 and feet of Jesus, we're all one part of what we're all one of the body. So that's an amazing 474 00:45:14,240 --> 00:45:18,320 piece that you shared that like you are a miracle. And when you said real quickly about 475 00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:23,280 my, my mom or just parents in general, my mom, but your, your mom and like my mom, 476 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,840 when I was born and my miracle child, right? I was just thinking about this too. And again, 477 00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:32,000 it all comes down to like, I didn't know what I didn't know. So with myself, and I can, I'm kind 478 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:36,080 of for myself and how I feel and what I've been through all this stuff, right? And now that I'm 479 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:43,040 a father of two girls and things. When you said about coming out and your mom or for me, my mom 480 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:48,320 saying that I'm a miracle baby always sings. It just for some reason in my mind, it came to 481 00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:55,600 projected versus protected. Right. Cause he's protected me. My mom projected on me. And she 482 00:45:55,600 --> 00:46:00,080 didn't know what she didn't know. Right. Again, everything's so fine-lined. She didn't know that 483 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:06,240 she was setting me up. It wasn't her on purpose. Right. No, she knew that she would harm you. 484 00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:10,480 Right. She'd never would have done it. No mother loving your children would ever do such a thing. 485 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:14,400 And then you, I can almost kind of forgive in a way, a lot of some of those things, right? 486 00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:19,680 Cause my mom was an alcoholic now. And real quick, very, very ironic. I don't know if I 487 00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:25,280 mentioned this. She had a brain injury in 2016. You did not mention that. Three years after I had 488 00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:33,920 mine, hers, home alone as well, hers, stairs, hers, alcohol induced the day that I got her out of the 489 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:39,040 hospital. And I, cause when she was in the hospital, I fought for her as an advocate. I thought, again, 490 00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:45,600 I kind of reverted back to, I can fix this because I'm the, I'm the, we get so caught up in being a 491 00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:50,400 blessing versus being the blessing. We put too much pressure on ourselves. So I'm the blessing. Oh, 492 00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:56,560 I survived the brain injury. Oh, I can fix this. Oh, I can help her. I let's get her home. I fought 493 00:46:56,560 --> 00:47:01,440 for her to get home, take her home the very day that she came home. And you would know this for sure. 494 00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:08,720 After a brain injury or so many other medical things, what do you not do? Drink, don't mix it. 495 00:47:08,720 --> 00:47:13,040 Yeah, no. Yeah. Get her home the very first day after I fought days and days and days for 496 00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:16,880 to come home, go to take her home. We have all these things that are going to be set up. Right. 497 00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:22,160 I've tricked myself thinking life is going to be this. We go to a restaurant. First meal as we 498 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:26,960 get, she gets out of the hospital, what she do, orders alcohol. Didn't that night. I didn't think 499 00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:32,960 it was a problem. And then I kind of set myself up. Right. But like, yeah, like you said, idol, 500 00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:37,440 exactly. And it still is her idol. And I saw, I still struggle with that right now. But it's, 501 00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:43,280 it's more than that though, with, with a dependency on a substance, right? It stops becoming an idol 502 00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:50,880 as more as it becomes, you can't live without it. And, and, and instead of coming to it because 503 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:56,080 you're sad or happy or trying to try to make an excuse while you want it, you don't make an excuse 504 00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:59,920 at that point. Once you're completely dependent upon it. You just don't care to make an excuse 505 00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:05,440 anymore. Right. And that's actually not a bad place to be because you can find honesty in that. 506 00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:09,760 Yeah. And that's a good place to start with her is knowing that she's at that place of honesty, 507 00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:14,960 that she doesn't care where she's at. And that's a, honestly, it doesn't sound good. Yeah. But 508 00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:21,360 it's, it's better than her denying. And then it becomes like me just accepting that's where she's 509 00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:26,800 at, right? And not trying to fix, which it's not your job to fix. Right. Your job is to, is to tell 510 00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:32,880 her about the glory of Jesus. Right. And, and, and it's his glorious burden to fix her. Yeah. He 511 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:36,720 said he will fix her. He said he will wipe away every tear. He didn't say that you're going to 512 00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:41,680 wipe away every tear. He didn't call me to wipe away any tears. In fact, I'm pretty sure he's 513 00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:45,440 going to be wiping some tears away because of things I've said to people in my past. So, 514 00:48:46,240 --> 00:48:49,680 I know he's not going to ask me to do that if I'm the cause of some of those tears. 515 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:54,400 And so that's not your job. That's not your place. Your place is to pray for her. Your 516 00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:58,800 place is to be there for her, but your place is not to fix her. That's his job. No. And he's, 517 00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:04,000 he's really good at his job. He's, and that even that is there's so much peace in that 518 00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:09,120 that knowing that like all you have to do, he's still doing more work than us. 519 00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:15,760 You could say he's pulling the lion's share. Yeah. Because all we have to do is introduce. 520 00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:20,080 So why are we making it harder than we have to? Well, the devils, why are we making it harder 521 00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:24,640 than we have to, right? Guilt, shame, all of these things. So yeah, just, that's amazing. 522 00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:30,640 Thanks for sharing that. I love that. We are all miracles. I love it. Well, I hope this, this has 523 00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:36,960 blessed others listening to it. And I hope that it encourages you and inspires you to share it with 524 00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:43,280 a friend or family member. And if this podcast in its entirety has been a blessing to you, 525 00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:49,440 to you, we ask that you would help support the mission. We have some links in the about section 526 00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:53,760 if you want to give. And then if you can rate this and Spotify or Apple podcast, that would be 527 00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:58,160 wonderful. Cause then it'll tell the algorithm that people are liking it. And then it'll 528 00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:03,360 share it with more people and then more people can be encouraged. And don't forget to like and 529 00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:08,320 follow or in all the social medias and pray. I love praying. I love praying. It's my favorite part of 530 00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:13,040 the whole thing is pray for us, pray for my wife, pray for me individually as a team for the podcast, 531 00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:17,760 pray for our guests, pray for the people they put on their heart when you ever heard of the podcast 532 00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:21,600 from them. Pray for those people as well. Pray for someone that you didn't even think you needed to 533 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:27,440 pray for, but the Lord called into your mind. Just do that. Put it on there. Thanks, Maverick. 534 00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:37,120 That's my favorite part is to prayer. Amen. And with that, we'll talk to you next time.