1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,480 Welcome to the God's Goodness podcast where our mission is to encourage and highlight God's 2 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,760 Goodness and modern-day miracles. 3 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,800 We are your hosts, Josh and Shelley Hankins. 4 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,940 Today we have with us a special guest. 5 00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:23,360 You might know her from our church, South Hills Assembly. 6 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:29,560 She's on our worship team and she is an amazing singer and an amazing woman of God and the 7 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:34,360 Holy Spirit wanted me to invite her on, maybe share a little bit about her story and so 8 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:38,880 she prayed about it and the Holy Spirit has given her what to share and you'll know her 9 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:47,080 as Latasha Chamba and I just hope that you're blessed by her testimony and we'll ask her 10 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,040 to open us with an opening prayer. 11 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,040 Thank you for coming. 12 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,200 Yes, thank you so much for having me. 13 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:58,160 Heavenly Father, we just thank you so much for who you are, for your greatness, your goodness, 14 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,960 your mercy, your grace, Lord. 15 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,240 Father, we just thank you for who you are. 16 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,080 Without you, we would be nothing more. 17 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:13,440 And Lord, today we just thank you for Shelley and Josh being obedient and spreading your 18 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,520 message through their podcast, Lord God. 19 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:21,720 And Lord, we just thank you, Lord, that your Holy Spirit just flows today, Lord, in the 20 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:26,680 words that are spoken or the words that you would have me to speak today. 21 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:30,960 And Father, I just thank you, Lord, for those that have reached us, Lord God, that they 22 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,520 would see you, Lord. 23 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:37,360 They would see your love, your grace, your tenderness, your forgiveness and your faithfulness 24 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,920 to us, Lord God. 25 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:43,480 We just praise and thank you, Lord God, for your will being done today and each and every 26 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:44,480 day, Lord. 27 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,480 In Jesus' name, we pray. 28 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,480 Amen. 29 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:48,480 Amen. 30 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,480 Thank you for that. 31 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,960 So where would you like to start, Latasha? 32 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:56,560 Well, I will go back to when I first met Christ. 33 00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:03,520 I was in second grade, yes, and I was at an evening service in the church I grew up in, 34 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,640 and it was just myself and my mom there in the service. 35 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:12,080 And so once the preaching was done, I was just sitting there and I tapped my mom. 36 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,920 I was like, I want that. 37 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:18,440 And I didn't know how to describe what that was, but I was just like, I knew I wanted it. 38 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:23,040 I just felt an urge in my heart. 39 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,320 And so she kind of asked me, you want to be baptized? 40 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,320 And I was like, whatever it is, I want that. 41 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,200 Whatever it takes. 42 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,360 Yeah. 43 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:36,840 And so I was sitting on the front pew, I remember, and a little girl had come up next to me and 44 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,480 she ended up being my childhood best friend. 45 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:44,320 And so she was talking to me and introducing herself, and I told her the same thing, like 46 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:45,320 I want that. 47 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:46,320 Are you going to go up? 48 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,320 They were doing the auto call. 49 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:52,280 So she was just trying to kind of talk about where I went to school, things like that. 50 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,520 But it was like I was just so focused and captivated. 51 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,040 Like I need to get there. 52 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:03,560 And so she also ended up going up in the altar call with me and I received Christ. 53 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,240 And I was so excited. 54 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:12,000 And my dad and my older brother, they had come to pick myself and my mom up. 55 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:15,200 And so I started telling them, I went up in church today. 56 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,200 I went up in church. 57 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,240 And I was like, I'm going to get baptized. 58 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,080 And so that was kind of my understanding. 59 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:29,280 And so eventually my older brother, he also received Christ and we got baptized at the 60 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,680 same time. 61 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:31,680 How long later was that? 62 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:37,360 It was just a couple of weeks because they did baptisms, maybe like once a month or 63 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:38,440 something like that. 64 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,400 So it wasn't a long period of time after that service. 65 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,920 I didn't know if it was years or whatever. 66 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:45,920 Okay. 67 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:46,920 Yeah. 68 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,600 And so he's three years older than I was. 69 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,600 So he wasn't that much older. 70 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:56,400 And that began my journey with Christ. 71 00:03:56,400 --> 00:04:00,880 I continued going to church, of course, Sunday school, things like that. 72 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:05,200 And just trying to, but I still didn't have a full understanding. 73 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:11,960 I just know like I took that step where I felt like, okay, I got closer. 74 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:16,840 And so I continued on and going into going to service and things like that. 75 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:23,160 But I still was thinking like there was like something else, something more. 76 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:29,440 And I would tell my friends about Jesus and I would hear like something the pastor would 77 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:34,320 say in the service and I go home and tell my friends the same thing. 78 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,320 I don't even know if I was making sense, but I was just saying. 79 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,320 Yeah. 80 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,920 It's in a different context and space, it hits a little different. 81 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:43,920 Yeah. 82 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:50,440 So like, you know, some of my friends will respond like, you know, like, okay, next. 83 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:55,320 But some, some were kind of curious, you know, like why I was talking that way. 84 00:04:55,320 --> 00:05:00,960 But yeah, so that was like mainly my childhood as far as I continued on. 85 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:01,960 I grew up in church. 86 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:07,600 So I stayed in church out throughout elementary school, middle school, things like that. 87 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:13,440 I just kind of, I knew there was, there was something, but I just didn't know what, you 88 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:17,400 know, but I just still continue to go hear the message. 89 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,360 And my dad, he actually didn't come. 90 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:25,760 He was saved, but he, at that time, he wasn't going to church with us. 91 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:31,920 And you know, my mom, she kept us, you know, in church and eventually he became a minister 92 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:32,920 himself. 93 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:37,880 But there are, you know, things in our home that were going on. 94 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,800 It didn't look like what I understood a Christian want to be. 95 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:48,680 You know, like I said, I had minimal understanding, but it just still, so like at home, it just 96 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:54,160 didn't look like what I, my picture in my head, you know, I thought it to be. 97 00:05:54,160 --> 00:06:01,320 But that captivation and that urge just to know Christ was always there. 98 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:07,600 And so did anyone teach you like what to do to get closer to him or did they encourage 99 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,600 anything besides prayer? 100 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,600 I know they didn't mind growing up. 101 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:11,600 Yeah. 102 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,760 Like I went to church and you prayed, but then that was it. 103 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,720 Oh, you should read your Bible, but nobody read it with me. 104 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:17,720 Yeah. 105 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:18,720 You know, to have me do it. 106 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:19,720 Yeah. 107 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:24,520 And so like in my earlier walk at that age, like I said, my mom was taking us to church. 108 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:28,800 So it was kind of like, that was it, like what I would get in church. 109 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:35,520 She would always pray with us, but it wasn't until my dad fully came to Christ and fully 110 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:40,960 start walking with him was when we would have Bible studies at home and, you know, learning 111 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,960 the scriptures more and things like that. 112 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:51,520 And I think I may have been around about probably middle school or so during that time when he, 113 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:57,960 when we started having Bible studies at home and so that's when I started to learn more. 114 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,960 He was teaching us as far as like speaking in tongues and things like that. 115 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:10,120 And so, but that's where I started to get more outside of just Sunday or Wednesday service. 116 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:17,040 And so as I know, as far as like studying the word that didn't come later on, it was 117 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,960 just more so taken in what I was told. 118 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:29,680 And so later on, probably out of high school is when I started to want to know how to study 119 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:35,360 what it meant, what I was being taught, like how do they know this is the truth? 120 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,680 How do they know this is the word of God? 121 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:44,960 And so I just wanted to understand for myself, you know, like how they came about what they 122 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:45,960 were teaching. 123 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:52,760 And so that's that journey there was more so it wasn't exactly taught. 124 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:53,760 It was more so personal. 125 00:07:53,760 --> 00:08:02,160 And it was more so just me wanting to get a fuller understanding of who Jesus was and 126 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:07,680 why pastors, whether it was on television, because that was one thing we always did at 127 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,040 home. 128 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,360 There was always pastor on television. 129 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,480 And sometimes it would be Dr. Stanley. 130 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:15,480 That's the one that stood out. 131 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,480 I can remember the most. 132 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,480 That's all I had. 133 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:18,480 For sure. 134 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:24,160 My favorite scene was, I'll leave God and leave all the consequences to him. 135 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,160 Yes. 136 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,800 And so that was kind of, you know, the teaching at home. 137 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,840 But I just like my thought was like, okay, I know they're reading the Bible, but how 138 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:36,600 do they get this understanding to like teach it to know? 139 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:37,600 Yeah. 140 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,600 Yeah. 141 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:43,720 And like I said, like probably I may have been out of high school, but even before that 142 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:50,720 time, I started to, as I got older, I started to hang with certain friends, of course, and 143 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:57,080 I didn't stop on a church, but like it just became, I was just going to church, you know, 144 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,640 outside of that there wasn't anything. 145 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:06,040 So like I kind of strayed, I guess I would say it was more so it became a routine. 146 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,440 I just to go to church on some things. 147 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:09,440 Emotions. 148 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:10,440 Yeah, exactly. 149 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:16,280 So you were going to be yourself going into the just emotions of church because you were 150 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:23,200 looking for something and couldn't find it or just the appeal of the outside was greater? 151 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,480 I think it was a mixture of both. 152 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:30,800 The appeal of the outside was greater probably was more so the reason I just started going 153 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,640 through the motions. 154 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:38,600 And then other than that, I mean, I went to a youth group and so I had a couple of people 155 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:47,320 around me that were that were my age, but it wasn't always that they were walking with 156 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,760 Christ as well. 157 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:53,080 It was more so we're going to church because we have to go, you know. 158 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,960 And so I think more so the appeal was there. 159 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:04,520 And then the how my church was, there were different age groups, but it was kind of like 160 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,320 where the kids are here, you're here, adults are here, you know. 161 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:12,720 And so I think there was like that little bit of a gap as far as like having someone 162 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:20,240 to look to as far as like mentorship and understanding to kind of got me in that direction. 163 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:23,680 And we had our youth leaders, which were really good and things like that. 164 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:30,560 But it just was like, you know, you stay in a kid's place type, you know, situation. 165 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,960 And so that's where what's kind of at, you know, like, okay. 166 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:39,560 And then, you know, instead of outside of fluence became more appealing, you know. 167 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:45,920 And so that's when I started to stray and I was around the wrong, wrong crowds at time, 168 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:52,240 you know, and it's nothing but the grace of God because of his grace that some things 169 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:56,880 I didn't get involved in that I saw that was going on around me. 170 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:00,840 Like I never drank even to this day, I've never smoked or anything or tried drugs or 171 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,600 anything like that. 172 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:08,520 And I'm thankful even though I grew up surrounded by things like that, you know, it didn't 173 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,680 that's a tiny miracle these days. 174 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:11,680 Yeah. 175 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:12,680 Yes. 176 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:19,080 And so, you know, thankfully it didn't that wasn't a path that I took. 177 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:26,920 And but like after high school, I was about, I want to say I was 20. 178 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,880 That's when I met my oldest child's father. 179 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:35,320 And I was working at that time on the school part time. 180 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:39,160 And I met my oldest child's father. 181 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:45,200 And so we, you know, got into a relationship and conceived my oldest child. 182 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:53,000 And at that time, I knew it was wrong to do, but it was like kind of that, like you were 183 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:57,880 saying Josh, like that appeal to the outside, you know, world. 184 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:04,120 And a lot of times there will be times where those that I would kind of want to go to, to 185 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,680 look for guidance and things like that. 186 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:14,880 It wasn't there or it would be a situation where it was like they assume things that 187 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:15,880 weren't happening. 188 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:20,200 And so I kind of like closed off like, okay, well, I'm not doing that. 189 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,200 And I'm thinking of this. 190 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,680 And so that's how they approached me. 191 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,120 So I couldn't connect, you know. 192 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:33,880 And so, and so I had my oldest child, oldest child, and I was 21 when I had him turning 193 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:34,880 22. 194 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:39,000 And so I became a single mom. 195 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000 It was tough. 196 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:47,320 And I kind of, well, I expected his father to be involved, but he ended up not being 197 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,520 involved in his life. 198 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,880 He was there, you know, off and on for a little bit. 199 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:57,400 His family though, they were really great as far as like being involved in his life. 200 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:06,920 But I look ahead about, you know, after, because when my son was four years old, it was about 201 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:13,680 a week before he turned five, his father's life was taken in his home. 202 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:21,000 And so, and I was just thinking, if we were still together and we were still involved, 203 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,600 he could have been there as well. 204 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:31,160 And so, you know, you know, hindsight, I was grateful, you know, even though he wasn't 205 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:37,120 in his life, you know, I would want him because of a father is important in a child's life. 206 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:43,280 But I was grateful that it ended up, you know, just think about the scripture that says that 207 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:48,000 God works all things together for the good for those that love him are called according 208 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000 to his purpose. 209 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,240 Romans 8, 28. 210 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:52,240 Yes. 211 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,280 And so I was grateful. 212 00:13:54,280 --> 00:14:00,400 So I thought about that because like at that moment, and before he had lost his life, I 213 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:04,720 started to turn my life back towards Christ. 214 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:09,960 And so I was working and I became more focused, you know, especially becoming a mother, I 215 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,360 became more focused on the important things. 216 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:13,360 Yes. 217 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:14,360 What really matters. 218 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,360 Exactly. 219 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:16,360 Things change. 220 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:17,360 Yes. 221 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:21,400 And so I was thinking, yes, tremendously, and you know, thinking like I'm living life 222 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,240 not just for myself, but also for this child. 223 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,240 Yeah, another human being. 224 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,240 Yes. 225 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:32,080 I mean, there's so many hidden blessings in the tragedy. 226 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,000 You know, let's say you weren't home and say he didn't die, right? 227 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:40,920 Unless he was just wounded and then he saw that he wanted to be part of the son's life. 228 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,640 And what if he didn't mature as a Christian? 229 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,440 What if he didn't become a Christian? 230 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,000 What kind of influence would he have had? 231 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,760 You know, a negative impact. 232 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:52,960 And so there's so many different factors that God knew and he will view in your child's 233 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,200 life around these things. 234 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,880 And so some things look sad, but you know, what the enemy uses for evil, God uses it 235 00:14:58,880 --> 00:14:59,880 for good. 236 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:00,880 Yes. 237 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,520 And so I'm glad that you see that there's a blessing and such a horrible thing. 238 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,320 Yes, yes, yes. 239 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,320 Yeah. 240 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:12,560 And you know, I remember my dad because like I used to not want to bring anyone home because 241 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,000 he would end up preaching to them. 242 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:19,640 But, and then they would get intimidated too by my dad. 243 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:26,720 But I'm thankful though, before when we were dating, my dad did get to him and he received 244 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:27,720 Christ. 245 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:34,520 And, you know, even though he wasn't walking that life, you know, I'm grateful that, you 246 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:39,240 know, that moment even happened, you know, because like I said, you know, I, and his 247 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:45,200 grandmother too, she was someone that prayed for him to receive Christ, but it was God used 248 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:49,000 my dad to actually, you know, lead him to Christ. 249 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:54,920 And I don't know what would have ever happened if, you know, we didn't meet or he didn't 250 00:15:54,920 --> 00:16:01,120 interact with my dad, you know, and so, and, but yeah, like even in that, you know, I just 251 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:06,440 thought about, and like you said, you know, if he did go on, what type of impact he would 252 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:12,000 have had on my son's life, you know, what direction he would have taken or, you know, 253 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,000 anything like that. 254 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:19,040 Or, you know, we were together and, you know, my son was just with him, you know, by himself, 255 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,880 you know, and I'm just, I'm thankful. 256 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:27,080 And I remember when I had found out I had come home from work and there was a story 257 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,080 on the news. 258 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:33,160 And so my sister, yeah, she had, you know, ran outside when I was walking from the bus 259 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:37,880 stop and she was asking me like, did you hear what happened to him? 260 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,720 And I was like, no, it was like, you know, what happened? 261 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:44,360 And then she's 14 years younger than me. 262 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:50,960 And so she was kind of like a child to me as well, you know, we were really close. 263 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:55,800 And so we walked inside and like that's how I found out, you know, that he had passed 264 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,360 because it was a news story. 265 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:01,520 And I just sat in the chair and I was at my mom and dad's picking up my son and I was 266 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:06,200 thinking like, you know, like, God, why did this happen to me? 267 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:12,080 And the thing before that happened, I worked for a social service agency. 268 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:19,520 And so a lot of her clients were single parents and single mothers. 269 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:23,880 And I would see a lot because of the information we would have to collect from them. 270 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:28,880 One of the things we had to collect, if the father wasn't in the child's life was either 271 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:33,280 verification that they were getting child support or a death certificate. 272 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:38,640 And I would constantly see death certificates and it was just so sad. 273 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:43,800 And I remember telling my co-worker, I was like, I don't know what I would do if I had 274 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:48,520 to have my, had to tell my child that their father is gone. 275 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:53,320 And you know, just in passing, you know, just as we were, you know, processing cases and 276 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,320 things like that. 277 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:59,000 And I was like, I don't know, I was like, it's just so sad to see how many it was happening 278 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 to. 279 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,960 And a lot of times it would be a violent crime. 280 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:10,560 And I was just like, I couldn't imagine having to tell my child that and it happened to me. 281 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:16,000 You know, and so, and so when it happened, I, and I just sat in a chair and I just saw 282 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000 crime. 283 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,240 I was like, God, like, why? 284 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,600 You know, like, what am I going to do? 285 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,320 You know, and even though he wasn't there, it was just like that chance, maybe at some 286 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,880 point, you know, he'll be involved in his life. 287 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:30,880 Right. 288 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:31,880 And God knew your heart. 289 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,880 He knew that you didn't want to see that. 290 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,680 He knew that you didn't want to experience that. 291 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,600 Like every time you saw one, he said, please God, not me, you know, and then, and then 292 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,600 it's you. 293 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:41,600 And so that's another question. 294 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,320 And then he said, God, I'm really having a hard time understanding this. 295 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:46,320 Yes. 296 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,320 Yes. 297 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,440 It seems like he was preparing your heart. 298 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:49,440 Like this might be happening. 299 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:50,920 You know, this may happen. 300 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:51,920 It's a possibility. 301 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:52,920 Yes. 302 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:53,920 Yes. 303 00:18:53,920 --> 00:19:00,640 And you say that that has has been how he has worked in my life for different circumstances 304 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:06,160 because even with that, where I was working at, like I said, I interact with a lot of 305 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,320 single moms like that. 306 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:15,000 And so years had gone by and I eventually became a supervisor there. 307 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:19,960 And so one of my staff had a, but let me back up. 308 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:24,760 So when that happened, when I was crying out to God and he told me, you're going to help 309 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,560 somebody else. 310 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:31,760 And I was just like, how I need some help, you know, but he told me, you're going to 311 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:32,760 help somebody else. 312 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:38,440 And so years had gone by and I would see these, you know, moms in different times, some would 313 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,040 share their stories and things like that. 314 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:45,800 And, you know, they would come to me and I gave him the supervisor. 315 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:51,280 One of my staff had a client and she was just like, I rate, you know, and he couldn't calm 316 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,280 her at all. 317 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:57,440 And so he came and got me and she helped us with her benefits. 318 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,920 And she was just like, I'm not starting over. 319 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,200 You're going to do something. 320 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,120 She just wasn't receiving what he was saying. 321 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,720 And so he came and got me. 322 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,680 And so I sat down with her. 323 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:12,000 I was telling her, you know, can you, you know, tell me, you know, what's going on? 324 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,520 And so she shared, I can't start all over again. 325 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:19,440 I missed a day of mine and, you know, and like she was kind of like way past like even 326 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:24,440 anything that we could do, you know, to follow as they got state guidelines. 327 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:28,320 And so she was here with me and so explained to her what was going on. 328 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:35,360 And so she paused for a minute and she was like, I'm sorry, but I just came from my kids, 329 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,960 dad, a court case. 330 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,640 And she was like, it was a murder case. 331 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,640 And I was like, okay. 332 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:47,440 I was like, are you able to, you know, still go see him because I assumed that he was the 333 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:54,520 perpetrator and she was like, no, it was, he was the one that was killed. 334 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,120 And she started sharing with me. 335 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:58,840 It happened in front of her and her kids. 336 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,680 Like they had to step over him to get out. 337 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,720 And it was by someone that she grew up with. 338 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,880 And so they, you know, she was the one to let them in the house thinking that, you know, 339 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:10,880 everything was okay. 340 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,520 And they told his life. 341 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:17,600 And she was like, I'm just coming from his court case. 342 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:21,080 And I didn't mean to come in here like this and yelling and things like that. 343 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,280 And I was like, you know, it's okay. 344 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,280 It's understandable. 345 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,880 And she was like, I'll never see him again. 346 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:33,960 And so at that moment, the Holy Spirit prompted me to ask her, can I share my story? 347 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:39,880 And so I share with her what I had gone through and started getting emotional. 348 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:40,880 We have tissues. 349 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,880 We're prepared for the Holy Spirit to come. 350 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:49,880 And when he comes on me, it just oozes out tears. 351 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:54,440 So yeah, we have a fresh supply of tissues. 352 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,440 Thank you. 353 00:21:55,440 --> 00:22:01,680 And so, and I share with her what happened with me, you know, and she was like, looking 354 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,720 at you, I would have never known that was a part of your life. 355 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:06,720 And I say, yes. 356 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,720 I was like, how, how did you, and she asked me, how did you do it? 357 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,600 And I said, there was nothing that I did. 358 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:16,160 It was only the grace of God in Jesus. 359 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:20,880 And there was nothing that, and I told her there was nothing I could do to make it through 360 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,400 a situation like that. 361 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:30,120 And at that moment, God had shown me like all this was for her. 362 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:31,120 Wow. 363 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:35,000 It's just a power of our testimony. 364 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,000 Yes. 365 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:42,760 And he showed me that even though, you know, even though, like I said, over a course of 366 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:48,280 time I would work with other mothers, that he showed me it was her. 367 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:56,160 I had to help because she was on her last, you know, she didn't want to be here. 368 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,720 She didn't know how she was going to raise her kids. 369 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:04,680 I can't remember how many she had, but she, she just wanted to give up. 370 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:10,520 And so she said she, and I share with her, I said, I'm married now and I have two other 371 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:11,520 kids. 372 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,000 And I said, God probably moved in my life. 373 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:19,640 And it wasn't, it was only because of him, because there was nothing I could have done 374 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,360 to get me to this place. 375 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,680 And so she thanked me for sharing that. 376 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:28,440 And she was here and she had, you know, been going to church and she stopped. 377 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:33,600 And the reason she stopped because she was being kind of the same thing, accused of things 378 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:34,960 that she wasn't on. 379 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:41,480 And then sometimes she was told that she would never find anyone because she had kids and 380 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,480 things like that. 381 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:46,720 And she just kind of just lost hope in this. 382 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:51,560 Her children's father being taken was just like, there was nothing left for her. 383 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,600 And that's what she was feeling that day. 384 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,280 No rushing despair. 385 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,280 Yes. 386 00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:04,120 And I don't know what she would have done, you know, if we didn't, you know, interact, 387 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:08,760 you know, she was like to that point, like she was just, you know, and. 388 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,840 I mean, but you know what she was going to do. 389 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:15,800 There's a reason why God orchestrated all that for you to wait years to see this woman 390 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,400 with her story years because he knew what she was going to do. 391 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:20,400 Yes. 392 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:24,600 Like without, without a doubt, I know for a fact that you intervened in something that 393 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,000 he did not want to happen. 394 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,000 Yes. 395 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,880 And that she was absolutely thinking of something that you were 100% correct in the mark on 396 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:31,880 that. 397 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:32,880 Amen. 398 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:33,880 Yes. 399 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:34,880 Yes. 400 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:35,880 Yeah. 401 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,880 There's no reason that he would have done that for just a feel good. 402 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:38,880 Exactly. 403 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:39,880 He did that. 404 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,800 He did that so that someone could have their life saved and saved properly through Christ 405 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,920 and have their physical life saved to be saved by Christ. 406 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:47,920 Yes. 407 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:48,920 Yes. 408 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:49,920 Yes. 409 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:50,920 Exactly. 410 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:54,880 And she said there was just recently she had ran into a woman and there was one woman 411 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,720 that would seek her out to encourage her. 412 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:03,960 And she said she had ran into her recently and she had been asking her when she was going 413 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:04,960 to come back to church. 414 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:09,200 And so in that moment she was like, because I met you, I'm going back. 415 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:16,400 And she said she wants to tell other young ladies who want to be involved with God's 416 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:21,400 for the money that they have, how they were making it and you know, the nice cars and 417 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:26,440 things like that to tell them other young ladies that's not the life to live. 418 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:27,880 And that's not the way to go. 419 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:32,160 She wanted to share her testimony from that point. 420 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,880 And I just, I thank God for that. 421 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:42,120 And even at that point I felt, it was like I felt the release like after this there's 422 00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:43,120 something else. 423 00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:48,640 And I didn't know how long after I would be there in that job. 424 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:55,920 But it was like it all came to a point when I met her and I'm just so, so grateful. 425 00:25:55,920 --> 00:26:04,880 Even though in my life I made mistakes and same. 426 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:09,280 His purpose and his grace was sufficient. 427 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,520 You know, he was always still there. 428 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,720 You know, and I was, I was here on Sunday. 429 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:23,000 With a worship team I was talking about how I like to journal. 430 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:29,520 And so I looked back over the periods of my life, even as I was journaling, I could see 431 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,200 how God's hand was still there. 432 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:37,920 You know, even like I had like different journals where like one of me write things that God 433 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,400 has spoke to me one, just to vent and get everything out. 434 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,720 You know, things like that. 435 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:45,960 And your own book of Lamentations. 436 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,240 And your own book of Psalms. 437 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,240 Exactly. 438 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,240 Exactly. 439 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,240 Yeah. 440 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,360 I think, I think that's a wonderful idea for people to do that. 441 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:57,720 A wonderful idea because it shows God where you are, shows you where your heart is. 442 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,240 It's something you can reflect on to see what you've come out of. 443 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,640 And the things that God has been in your life before. 444 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,560 It's a perfect thing to do. 445 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,560 Yes. 446 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:06,560 Yes. 447 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,200 If you want to hear about it, she shared it with the whole congregation and it's online. 448 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,280 So if you go back to what day was that? 449 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:14,280 What was? 450 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:15,280 October. 451 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:16,280 What was it? 452 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:17,920 No, I'm horrible at dates. 453 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:18,920 You know that. 454 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:19,920 18. 455 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:20,920 13th. 456 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:21,920 October 13th. 457 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:25,920 And you can see her story there. 458 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:26,920 Yes. 459 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:27,920 Yes. 460 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:28,920 And, but yeah. 461 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:34,840 And so like even during the times that I felt farthest away from him, when I would look 462 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:39,320 up what I wrote, I realized he was always so close. 463 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,920 You know, he was right there. 464 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:43,240 And I'm just thankful. 465 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:48,400 And so like when you were saying before it, as far as like things that he does to prepare 466 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:52,400 me for something else, that's about to happen. 467 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:59,240 And so one of the hardest things that I experienced in 2020, I lost my mom and that was hard. 468 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:05,040 She was my best friend and she went on to be with the Lord, but she was, you know, close 469 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:09,680 with the Lord and it was kind of like we were prepared for her. 470 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:16,560 She passed of cancer and we were prepared for her and she wanted to go and, you know, 471 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:22,280 remember before she had gone, she just like one night just started like worshiping God 472 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:27,920 and just seeing it like, you know, like as if she had a renewed strength. 473 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,000 And so she was getting ready. 474 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,000 Yes, exactly. 475 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,000 Exactly. 476 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,160 And she said, she was like, I'm going to see Jesus. 477 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:36,560 And you know, that's cool. 478 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,840 I wanted my heart to hear that. 479 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:52,640 And so, and I was already losing her, but then in 2022, I lost my son. 480 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,440 Was he the oldest? 481 00:28:54,440 --> 00:29:08,560 And the thing was, one thing I was afraid of and I prayed in Escalus and let me not live 482 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:16,280 that fear was that he would, you know, follow the path of his dad, even though he didn't 483 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:22,680 know him well, but I just didn't want him to follow that path and the grace of God, 484 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:27,840 he didn't, you know, but I never thought I would lose him. 485 00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:29,640 How do you engage? 486 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:30,640 Yeah. 487 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:35,560 And so can be easy for any parent to lose a child at any point. 488 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:45,960 And even though I had a moment though, where God had prepared me and when I look back, I 489 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:50,440 saw, excuse me, when I look back, I saw it. 490 00:29:50,440 --> 00:30:02,120 I saw that he, he prepared my heart, prepared my mind and that he was providing the comfort 491 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:06,760 all along, even before it happened. 492 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:16,080 And you know, and like, like, you know, sometimes like when you think something or, you know, 493 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:21,320 like see something, you know, like those, it's like the enemy trying to, you know, put fear 494 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,160 and, you know, negativity. 495 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:30,640 But when I look back, it was God who showed me that he was going to hold him and that 496 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:35,040 he was going to keep him and he was going to carry him with him. 497 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:43,360 And when he passed, it was just like, it was a shock. 498 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:55,000 But I was on my way to, I was visiting a church out in Coriolis and I got the call from his 499 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,040 girlfriend. 500 00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:01,920 And so it was a shock, but there was like a peace. 501 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:14,160 And like the Saturday before I felt a peace, but I felt like something leave me, not knowing 502 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:21,760 he was going and I got the, got the call from his girlfriend. 503 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:29,120 And even in that, the only thing I could do was praise God. 504 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,320 It didn't make sense. 505 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:39,440 It could, like my first reaction was to give praise. 506 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:44,880 That's how he says to come to him. 507 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:45,880 Praise first. 508 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:47,880 Praise open stores. 509 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:48,880 Yes. 510 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:54,800 And that was my first response when she called me and she was on the phone and the detectives 511 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,440 were on the phone and things like that. 512 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:02,400 And I was like, I still to this day, like it didn't make sense. 513 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:07,880 Like for my first reaction to my son going was to praise God. 514 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:09,880 But that's all good. 515 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:14,600 That was the Holy Spirit taking over the physical vocal cords in that one. 516 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:15,600 Yes. 517 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:25,080 I cried and I was just like pleading with him to save him. 518 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:32,240 But it was just like only thing that came out of me was to praise God. 519 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:40,600 And I know it's only because his presence and because how he walked with me, no matter 520 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:46,440 where I was at the age and the choices that I made, you know, and like, oh, sure. 521 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:50,280 And then suddenly not every choice was the, you know, something that was sinful. 522 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,840 It was just like a path that I chose to take on my own. 523 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:58,360 And it wasn't necessarily what we're God had me to go. 524 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:02,320 But he still still showed me grace through it. 525 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:13,800 And so it was just like he prior to that, he just he would just show me and there was 526 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:24,840 one time where I was in at home and I was laying in bed and everyone else was asleep 527 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:28,280 and the lights were out. 528 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:34,520 And I felt the presence of God and like I've never felt anything like that before. 529 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:41,800 It was just like even the air that was around me was so perfect. 530 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:45,080 It was like everything was just in order. 531 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,360 Everything was under obedience. 532 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:48,880 Nothing was out of place. 533 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:53,920 Like the it was just like the only way I have to describe it was like it was just like the 534 00:33:53,920 --> 00:34:00,440 particles in the air like gave reverence to him. 535 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:07,440 And it was just like this, this piece that came over me, but it was just like everything 536 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:12,680 was just in a lot under his obedience. 537 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:16,720 It was just like a perfect, perfect piece. 538 00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:20,600 And I've never felt anything like that before. 539 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:26,560 And it was just everything inside of me, there was just like there was I didn't feel like 540 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,480 I was carrying anything. 541 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:34,640 No, like there was no negative thought, no hurt, no stress, no worry, like everything 542 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,800 was just like everything just came into order. 543 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:42,160 And it was like it gave way to this presence. 544 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:49,600 And I just, I mean, even when I breathed in the air, it was just so it wasn't indescribable. 545 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,960 And I felt the presence of God. 546 00:34:52,960 --> 00:35:02,640 And it was like at that moment, years later down, like another thing in hindsight, God 547 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:08,000 was preparing me for some tough things that were coming up. 548 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:14,720 And but he was letting me know he's with me, that he's never leaving me. 549 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:16,560 He's never forsaken me. 550 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,000 He's always there. 551 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:22,880 And he showed up like that every single time. 552 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:29,160 Excuse me, I'm just grateful and just grateful. 553 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:39,520 Yeah, I'm just grateful for his love, for his tenderness, for his forgiveness, for his 554 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:44,720 receiving me, I still want to use me for his purpose. 555 00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:51,400 And I'm sorry, I cried it all. 556 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,400 It's okay. 557 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,400 It happens in this room. 558 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,400 We want this to be an honest experience. 559 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,960 And yeah, these are all just tears of sadness. 560 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,880 There's a lot of tears of joy mixed with this. 561 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,360 So this isn't just, this is wonderful. 562 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:09,160 Just go ahead and continue, like continue to share what Lord's done for you, like to 563 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:18,160 see you smile after hearing the horrible things that have happened in your life is just phenomenal. 564 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,000 And I really admire your strength. 565 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,360 I love the courage that you have. 566 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:26,120 I'd love that you have a testimony that when we share it with people, they're going to 567 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:31,080 learn that leaning into the Lord by praising the Lord is going to bring them healing. 568 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:35,080 Telling the Lord your problems also brings healing, but one way is faster, right? 569 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:36,800 One way brings restoration. 570 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:41,400 And I really love that you're a prime example of what he can do by leaning into him. 571 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:42,400 Yes, thank you. 572 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:43,400 Praise God. 573 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:49,240 And it's important to look back because then you can reflect and see him show up time after 574 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:51,640 time and you didn't realize it at the time. 575 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:56,720 But when you look back, you're like, Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, it is my God's grace that 576 00:36:56,720 --> 00:36:58,720 I didn't die in my twenties. 577 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:04,240 And my parents are just praising the Lord at this point. 578 00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:09,400 Because when God shows up, everything changes. 579 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:10,400 Yes, exactly. 580 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:11,400 Exactly. 581 00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:16,400 And I like how you said he was right next to you and you couldn't see him. 582 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,760 It's like the artistic eye, right? 583 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:22,000 So when you're drawing something, you're getting fine details in something. 584 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,020 You kind of lose track of what you're doing. 585 00:37:24,020 --> 00:37:27,680 So they have to take a step back and see it for its whole. 586 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,240 And that's when you realize that God is in front of you the entire time. 587 00:37:30,240 --> 00:37:36,320 You're just so close, you could not gather the details until you took a step back and 588 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,320 said, Oh, like you're here for the hug. 589 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:39,320 You're right here. 590 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:40,800 Like I'm looking for you. 591 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:44,800 It feels all dark because you are right here covering my eyes. 592 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:45,800 Yes. 593 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:46,800 Yes. 594 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:47,800 Amen. 595 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:48,800 Exactly. 596 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:49,800 Exactly. 597 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:50,800 Yeah. 598 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:54,600 And I'm just excited, you know, as far as where he's been to take me and I'm just in 599 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,600 the mindset. 600 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:59,080 Wherever he wants me to go, I'll go. 601 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:02,760 Wherever he wants me to do, I'll do. 602 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:04,760 He can do a lot with that, that willing attitude. 603 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,760 He can do a lot with that indeed. 604 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:08,760 Yeah. 605 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:09,760 For sure. 606 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,520 He can change everything. 607 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:17,080 If you're willing and then you're obedient to what he says to do, he suggests to do. 608 00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:20,440 Think of all he does in our lives when we don't want to do what he wants us to do. 609 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,520 Imagine how much further it's going to go. 610 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:23,800 We say, here I am, Lord. 611 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,800 Let's do this. 612 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:26,800 Yes. 613 00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:27,800 Change everything. 614 00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:28,800 Yes. 615 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:29,800 This is great. 616 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,120 I'm so glad we had to know you better. 617 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:33,120 Yes. 618 00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,560 And the Holy Spirit prompted me to ask you. 619 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:36,560 Yes. 620 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:37,560 Oh, man. 621 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:38,560 It's so good. 622 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,320 Do you have anything else you wanted to share? 623 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:41,480 That was a lot to unpack. 624 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:42,480 Yeah. 625 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:43,480 Yes, it was. 626 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:44,480 Yeah. 627 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:48,920 I'm just, you know, like I said, I'm just grateful. 628 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,440 My heart is open to him. 629 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:54,720 I thank you for your obedience and, you know, asking me. 630 00:38:54,720 --> 00:39:01,520 And, you know, and I'm just, I'm excited for what more he has in store for both of you 631 00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:08,560 all, what more in store he has for me and my life, even though some things may be scary 632 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:12,560 and it's like outside of my comfort zone. 633 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:17,000 I just kind of like let it go and like I'm going. 634 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,200 That's where we grow the most. 635 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:19,200 Yes. 636 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,200 Outside of the comfort zone. 637 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,200 Yes, exactly. 638 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:25,480 Our brain wants to keep us safe, but we just got to go with God. 639 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:26,480 Awesome. 640 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,960 Well, thank you for sharing all of that, Natasha. 641 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:30,960 That is wonderful. 642 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:31,960 You, Manny. 643 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:40,080 Ah, no, no, I'm still very impressed with your resolution to continue to follow Jesus 644 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:43,680 and lean in, like accidentally fall along the lines. 645 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:48,280 Like the story of the prodigal son comes to mind where you lived with the father when 646 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:50,280 you went to church in second grade, right? 647 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:54,800 But you didn't really know him, like the son that stayed at home, not the one that left, 648 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:55,800 but the one that stayed at home. 649 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,880 It was like, I work like for you and I'm not getting any of this stuff because you didn't 650 00:39:58,880 --> 00:39:59,880 get it, right? 651 00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:02,840 And you were living in this presence and you didn't get it either. 652 00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:09,480 I think that's so interesting, the dynamic of how that goes and how you just naturally, 653 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:14,360 without that discipleship that we all desperately need, rivals some of the things in my life 654 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:18,840 where God had to disciple me himself because nobody else did and how he stepped in your 655 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:22,080 life and you just always did instinctually the right thing. 656 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:28,080 Like whose first instinct is to praise God when their child has just been taken from 657 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:29,080 them? 658 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:33,320 I'm going to tell you right now that is not my first instinct, not in the slightest. 659 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,680 And so if that comes out of my mouth, I'll know that the presence of God is with me. 660 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:40,120 I won't know that he is with me because that came out when it shouldn't have. 661 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:43,720 When my human emotion would have cried out something else that I knew that God was with 662 00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:46,920 me, that he was hugging me, that he was embracing me, that he was anguished with me. 663 00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:54,320 I just love that and I love that you've shared that with us in such a tender, fresh wound 664 00:40:54,320 --> 00:41:01,160 that you feel that God has brought you something more with it, that you were able to share 665 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:04,240 it with us today and thank you so much for the courage that that took. 666 00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:05,240 Yes, thank you. 667 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:06,240 Thank you. 668 00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:07,240 Praise God. 669 00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,240 Nothing but him, yes. 670 00:41:09,240 --> 00:41:13,000 Well, listener, if this has been a blessing to you, we hope that you can pass it along 671 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:19,320 in social media or to a friend or family member and also we have a fundraising campaign that 672 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,640 helps us keep the podcast going. 673 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:25,320 If you go to the about section of the podcast, there's four different links. 674 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:30,160 We have the Gibson Go campaign and then Venmo, PayPal and Cash App. 675 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:34,720 And if you are led to give another way, you can reach out and I'm sure we can get it there 676 00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:35,720 another way. 677 00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:39,640 So anyway, it is greatly appreciated and we'll also take the prayers. 678 00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:40,640 Love the prayers. 679 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,280 Those do wonders as well. 680 00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:49,280 So with that, we will talk to you next time.