Welcome to the God's goodness podcast where our mission is to encourage as well as highlight
God's goodness and modern day miracles.
We are your hosts, Josh and Shelly Hankins.
Today we have with us a special guest, his name is Dominic DeMarco and I was telling
my boss the other day, the more I get to know Dominic, the more I like this guy.
So without further ado, he's going to open us our episode with an opening prayer.
First I'd like to say thank you to God.
Let's first and foremost thank you guys for this opportunity to do God's work.
God's will.
So Lord Heavenly Father, we come to you today with a prayer of thanksgiving.
We ask you for nothing.
We just say thank you for the life you've given us, the opportunities to do your will
and your works.
We just ask that today that we be a vessel of your peace, your word, your understanding
that may bless one person or help one person navigate through a trying moment, a difficult
day and just make a bad day, a bad moment.
So I just ask you to wrap your loving arms in protection around each and every one of
us in this crazy cruel world and we thank you for the life you've given us.
In Jesus' name we praise you, almighty God.
Amen.
So where would you like to start Dominic?
Well, maybe the beginning.
So for me, the beginning isn't the day I was born.
For me, the beginning is the day I was reborn and the birth of Christ.
And that came in the form of an experience in the Yonge and Yenny County Jail.
I met a lady there, her name was Sister Tony and I was on a 24-hour lockdown because I
was a violent and vicious guy back then through the drugs and alcohol.
And she used to come by the cell and she'd always say, can I pray with you?
And I'd say, Sister, take that down the road.
I'm good.
You know, I was born and raised Catholic.
There's nothing wrong with that.
To me, being born and raised Catholic was like wine.
And being a Christian is like moonshine.
That's the best way to explain it.
The extreme difference.
The Catholic religion introduced me to God.
My Christian family introduced me to Jesus Christ and there's an amazing difference in
that.
So I'm sure you understand.
Yeah, the relationship is everything.
It is everything.
I'm glad you said we were just talking before we started this about the change in our
life and that relationship of God changed just one thing for me, everything.
Yeah, so Sister Tony came by on this particular day and she said, hey, can I pray with you?
And I had said no so many times before this and this particular day I wanted to start
it up a little bit.
So for me as an inmate to start it up, I knew they'd have to call a bunch of people to get
me out of the cell to do this.
So I said, yeah, you can pray with me today.
And she said, well, open the cell.
And they said, Sister Tony, we can't do that.
We need to call the CERT team.
We need white shirts here, security.
This is a dangerous man.
She looked at me and she goes, you're not going to hurt me.
Are you?
And I said, absolutely not.
She goes, you're not going to hurt them.
Are you?
And I smiled.
I said, not unless they make me.
But I wasn't good.
I was just joking.
So the change of events took place and I got on my knees and she got on her knees and Sister
Tony was in her late 70s at this time.
She prayed and when I stood up, only one thing changed in my life, everything.
That day, I no longer stressed over minor details and things.
I no longer wanted to be vicious and violent.
God through Sister Tony had planted a seed inside of me and, you know, picking up a Bible
and reading scripture and putting him first, making decisions that would make him proud
of me, not disappointed in me, began a transformation.
Now, let me tell you, they didn't open up the doors and say, okay, you're a Christian now,
you can go home.
I still had to go to prison for seven years.
So when was that experience with?
1996.
No, but like, how long were you in prison for?
Seven years.
No, but like, when did you come to pray and then?
How long were you in jail before?
A sister.
About 14, 16 months.
Okay.
And then you prayed with her?
Yes.
Okay.
And then you were in prison, getting closer, you know, to Jesus and the word.
Oh, and also this was an immediate transformation.
Like, like God took the thunder out of your face.
Pretty much within a day or two, like things changed, you know, but that's what, let me
say this, you know, when you accept God and Jesus Christ in your life, the devil don't
like that.
You know, the devil doesn't attack what is already his.
If the devil's not attacking you, you're doing everything wrong.
And let me say that's the way you understand it.
If you're hurting people and you're deceiving people and you're part of the problem, not
the solution, the devil's not going to get in the way.
He wants you to keep doing that.
But the minute you accept Jesus Christ in your life, you start to make, embrace the
transformation because we don't make it.
God does.
So when we embrace that transformation, the devil will come at you and he doesn't come
at us like a freight train head on.
He comes to us with a little inconvenience, a little white lie.
And sometimes the white lies, not even about someone in front of me or behind me or next
to me.
Sometimes it's like, you know, it's going to rain today.
Your body's going to hurt today because of the rain, because of all the things you did.
Meanwhile, I look, I don't see a cloud in the sky, but he'll have me thinking it's going
to rain.
And that's what he does with misdirection.
Devil comes to kill, steal and destroy.
That's the bad news.
The good news is he can't take away anything he didn't provide.
And that's in scripture.
The devil cannot take from you what God has given you.
So for that reason, his biggest toll is misdirection.
You know, have you second guessed in your decision that you yell at your son for maybe
playing on the game too long and you feel bad about it?
It's not about the game.
It has nothing to do with the game.
It has to do with something else.
It's just what can he do to create minor inconveniences and misdirection?
Because if you're focused on his pain, his misery, his lies, his cheating, stealing, his
killing, you're not focused in on God and Jesus Christ.
And the devil doesn't hate you.
He doesn't hate me.
He hates God.
And if someone wants to get even with Josh and Shelly, they're not going to come at
you.
They'll come at your family, your children.
And that's exactly what the devil does.
He comes at God's children and that's us.
So I've often said that the devil doesn't care about us like or hate.
We're nothing to him.
But it's a way he uses to get to God like a little child.
Correct.
And the moment, in the very moment you accept Jesus Christ, everything changes.
You know, let me say it different.
For me, everything changed.
I don't want to say it was any more, any less than anybody else's experience with it.
But when I accepted Jesus Christ into my life, things just got easier.
If you stepped on my toe, I could say, hey, Josh, that's okay.
God gave me nine more.
We chuckled.
That would be it.
But if I step on your toe, you'd be like, that's okay.
I can't forgive me.
Why is it easier for me to forgive you than to forgive me?
Well, that's the devil.
He creates that seed of doubt inside of us, but less than.
You know, I'm a recovering alcoholic and an addict.
And you know, I learned a couple of things in treatment.
I've been doing this clean and sober thing 28 and a half of the last 30 years.
Okay.
And I didn't become a drug addict and an alcoholic because I wanted to go out and be a bum.
I became a drug addict and an alcoholic because I got shot twice in nine months, twice in
nine months and had PTSD and had no tools to navigate through the healing process of
that.
So that process took me in that direction.
But what's really important is I remember somebody saying to me and Dom, you have to
get an addiction.
You have to give up every single thing that you love in this world for that one thing,
that chemical.
But in recovery, you have to just give up one thing to have everything.
And I was like, wow, I can understand that.
I can embrace that.
My life just got instantly better.
You know, once I accepted Jesus Christ, I didn't have to get loaded anymore.
It became easier for me to stay clean and sober.
And there was a pastor and I'm not going to say his name here because I don't know where
he is today.
And I know he went through his own troubles because, you know, we're human beings.
He said, Dom, he says, you know, Jesus died for that one too.
He turned to God and said, Hey, you know, you see what Dom did?
Yeah.
Put that on my tab.
I got that one.
God, I died for that one too.
So when I realized all he did for me, all he did for us, all he did for you, can I do
one little thing for him?
And that's just, just where I'm at today.
You know, I just spoke to some people.
I spoke to a group of kids at a funeral.
So I'm an ordained minister.
I got ordained back in 2022, August 15th of 2022.
And I don't really like to do weddings because if a person can't look at me and say, I'm
even exhaust every tool at my disposal before we ever talk about divorce, I'm not going
to go to God and say, Hey, listen, can we join this union together?
So there's no greater honor for me to be invited to help celebrate someone's life and say goodbye.
Because that's what my mission was when this started.
When I started this journey in Southeastern University and online classes to become an
ordained minister, my first assignment is why did you choose this path, this journey?
You know, in 500 words or less.
And basically what I said was, you know, because my wife died of cancer in November
5th of 2019.
And there was nobody there to minister to her because of COVID.
And I don't want anybody to have to make that transformation alone.
Well, a couple of hours later, I got a call like 11 o'clock at night and I get up early,
early at four o'clock in the morning.
And it was my instructor.
And he said, you know, reduced himself.
And he goes, was that true?
And I'm like, absolutely.
He goes, you're going to be fine.
He goes, you know, I've been doing this like 17 years.
I've never heard that.
And it's funny because that's where God seems to use me most.
I've done a couple of weddings.
I've married a couple of couples because they've said to me, I'll exhaust everything before
I even talk about the verse.
And the other thing is the other couple said to me, I remember when I got married to my
wife, Pastor David Ells.
We didn't have marriage glasses back then.
So what happened was David came to stay with me for three days.
My wife, Deb, went to stay with his wife for three or four days.
And basically David would come in, he would throw stuff on the floor, close, leave dishes
in the sink, leave the trash, block my car in.
And I was like, what are you doing?
He goes, well, I just want you to know what not to do when you're married to your wife.
And we ended up going to a restaurant out in Skrill Hill, like the first day before
we got married.
And that was called pull-eyes.
And we were sitting there and she said, Deb got a rest or soul said, you know, I asked
him how we met things.
And she goes, and I just don't know what I would do with Adam.
And for the first time, David Ells got really firm.
And he looked at us and he said, well, you better figure that out.
Because one day God is going to call one of you home and not the other.
And you're going to figure out how you have to navigate through this.
And I had no idea of the gravity and the impact of that statement until she took her last
breath.
Because all along, I had assumed it would be me that passed and not her.
Because of my life, because of the decisions I had made, because of my health, you know,
family history, a lot of different reasons.
And secretly, I think subconsciously, you probably felt you deserved it.
Absolutely.
Josh, that's a great statement because how we see us and how other people see us is
completely different.
Now, let's take that to the next level.
One of my greatest spiritual gifts is I see you at your highest and best the way God sees
you.
I see when I drive by and I see the homeless guy on the street, I don't see the homeless
guy on the street.
I see the husband, the father, the son, the brother.
I see all of his accomplishments, not whatever the finding moment happened in his life, traumatic
moment that put him or her in that position.
So instantly, I want to say, let me stop here.
You know, the first time you might get a dollar or two.
If you're a homeless veteran, I've been known to give you everything in my pocket, which
can be little or it could be a lot.
I've been known to take them, put them in the car and take them to a hotel and get them
cleaned up and then get them into rehab.
Only they'd get a call a few months later the day it passed away or an overdose, because
that happens too, I think.
But how we see us and how other people see us is completely different to how God sees
us.
See, because he knew who we were when he created us.
The final masterpiece.
So great.
Shelly, you hit the nail on the head.
I'm like a fine wine agent, you know, getting better with age.
I'm like in my 40s.
So I think of masterpiece.
So how about when people say, I'm damaged, I'm broken.
You're not damaged and broken.
Listen, I'm in construction.
If I go out to my truck right now, I can get the hammer out of there and I can come in,
I can take it to this desk and I can break it up into a thousand little pieces.
Or I could get my smaller hammer and I can, and I could chisel away it and create the
masterpiece underneath.
Sometimes the hammer is used for multiple to the purposes.
Sometimes the hammer is meant to destroy things, the devil.
And sometimes the hammer is meant to cultivate or sculpt the final product underneath, which
is the greatest beauty.
Have you ever looked at somebody's social media post or a picture and said, wow, that's
a beautiful picture.
The master has painted another amusing masterpiece.
Well, you know, think about the hurricane that came through for that storm that cleaned
off the sand.
Not every storm is designed to destroy us.
Sometimes it's designed to cleanse us.
Oh yeah.
And the other thing is, I just read recently a really profound statement.
You know, I can't control the wind, but I can adjust my sails.
So sometimes the wind doesn't blow through to destroy my life.
Sometimes the wind blows through to just clear the way.
It can be refreshing.
And be refreshed.
Oh yeah.
I have a nice hot day and that cool breeze comes and it just reinvigorates you.
You're just like, ah.
Amen.
I often will get up in the morning with the dogs out and I'll sit there.
I'll just breathe in the air and imagine it, the Holy Spirit filling my lungs and I just
give that moment to God.
You know, you pray to sin and you say, we're not coming to ask you for anything, just to
thank you.
Right?
That's how I start my mornings.
I don't ask him for anything.
I just say, I just want to spend this moment with you.
You know, this is where I want to be rooted with you and just breathe it in and imagine
it's the Holy Spirit.
I think the wind is a wonderful tool and I've seen the destruction it can do.
You know, it can go either way.
It's just like our tongues.
You know, we have this powerful tool for creating and encouraging.
I'm apparently really good at encouraging people, but I haven't always.
I've been able to destroy people with this tongue.
That's the way God made us in his image that he can create and he can destroy, but he chooses
to create.
And so I think we need to take that mantle and also choose to create because he could
easily just wipe us all out like with the flood.
He could easily just flip.
I'm done with it.
Done.
He won't and he didn't send Jesus for that very reason.
He didn't send Jesus to condemn the world but to save the world.
Right.
I think it's my favorite passage in the Bible because it's often overlooked.
Everyone always goes to John 3.16 and is like, but you can't stop there.
That's right.
I will never read 3.16 without reading 3.17.
You know, I'm glad you said that.
And there's a couple other scriptures that really, really hit home and it's Jeremiah
29-11.
If you know not the plans I have for you.
You know, I remember early on as I undertook this journey into spirituality for ministry,
I kept saying it because everybody else was saying, you can't do that.
You've been with a lot of women.
You can't do that.
You were in organized crime.
You can't do that.
You've done this.
You can't do that.
You were an addict and alcoholic.
But I had that spiritual awakening we spoke about earlier.
I was driving up 885.
The clouds separated.
The sun came on.
I heard from the backseat of my car where my pit bull and my lab were.
Yes, you can.
He was qualifying you this whole time.
Yes.
You were called and he qualified you.
Yes, you can.
How did that make you feel when you had that affirmation from God himself?
Scared.
I'm not going to lie.
I was fearful.
You know, and Pastor Pete, there's a joke between me and Pastor Pete Jack alone.
You guys said he was on the show.
He's an amazing man of God.
He has an anointing over him that just has a way of just tying it together and helping
you understand whether you're a theologian or a construction guy like me.
You just understand it.
He has a way of that.
But the broken are not broken.
They're under construction.
I was sitting there thinking about, I'm in the middle of doing something a little different.
And I was thinking about, so I was writing something the other day.
And for me, it came down to this, the well don't need a physician.
There's a reason God takes us through the steps.
So remember when you were a baby, you had to crawl before you walked.
You had to walk before you ran.
But then you learn to run and then you have to learn how to control that.
Well, our spirituality is the same.
We have to exercise our spirituality like we exercise our bodies, our minds, our soul.
If we're not exercising, if we're not in the solution, we're probably in the problem.
Yeah, I agree.
If you're not trying to stand, you wouldn't have business crying about not being able
to.
Right.
And the other half of the coin is, I don't mind being a devil's workshop.
I could see that.
I could see that in my life.
I could see that over the years.
I could see that in people around me.
I've been very fortunate.
I've been very blessed with the opportunity to live two lives as an alcoholic and an addict
and to make that struggle to get back, but now to reap the rewards as a child of God
and to see the transformation in my life.
You know, the BC and after Christ.
Yes.
You know, I remember there was a, there was a probation officer and I was in prison.
I told you this and he says, oh, and, and, you know, he was very condescending and he
said to me, oh, so I see you, you go to church.
And I said, yeah, I do.
And he says, so would you do come to jail and find God?
I immediately went to his defense and I said, no, I didn't find God here.
He was never lost.
I was, you know, he was taken back by that statement.
But you know, how dare you question my relationship with the God of my understanding without qualifying
the relationship with the God of your understanding.
And he said to me, what do you mean a God of your understanding?
You know, I said, well, you can't have a relationship with my God.
You can have a relationship with your God.
Although our gods are probably the same, you have to have a relationship with your God.
Now, if you don't have a God, you can borrow mine until you find one of your own.
But in the interim, you better have a relationship with God because one day, and he said, what
makes you, you know, you're falling for that biggest scam there is, that religious scam.
It's been going on for thousands of years.
And I said to him, I said, well, what's your name?
And he says, my name's Bob.
Robert, I said, can I call you Bob?
Robert, you can call me Bob.
I said, Bob, let me ask you a question.
I said, you drive with car insurance?
He says, yeah, what's the law?
I said, do you have homeowner's insurance?
He said, yeah, but I have to have it for my mortgage.
I said, how about health insurance?
He goes, yeah, they give me health insurance here with the state.
I said, well, consider my relationship with God, eternity insurance.
If I'm wrong, what do we got to lose?
If I'm wrong, but if you're wrong, you'll have one thing to lose.
Everything.
I saw that coming.
You know.
I actually appreciate atheists because for me, the drive at home, how real God is.
You know, as you said earlier, the devil doesn't attack people that aren't in relationship
with Christ because he has no point.
And then we see atheists, how many times you see them coming after a Muslim or Hindu or
a Buddhist or Scientologists or Krishna or anything other than a Christian.
I'm glad you said that.
I'm so glad you said that because you don't.
Because we are Christians and their interpretation of what the Bible says is that, you know,
love one another as I've loved you.
That's true.
But there's nowhere in my Bible that says be the victim.
So and I said this to somebody.
I just recently just joking, but I said it, me and Sam Gattano, we were on vacation and
you said Sam has been there before.
He's amazing man of God, a good friend and brother of mine.
But somebody said something.
They said, well, that doesn't sound very Christian like.
I said, it's funny.
I've never seen you in my church.
Huh?
I said, well, here's the deal.
Well, maybe I don't go to your church.
I said, well, here's the deal.
Come to my church once and I'll come to your church.
Well, why?
Well, because I'm dying to see where your perception comes from.
I said, listen.
I'm a Christian, but I'm a human being.
I always say this.
I say, so I'm a Christian.
So I know how to ask God for forgiveness.
I'm an excavator.
So I know how to dig holes.
I'm a former martial artist and a boxer.
So I know how to strike and break the human body.
Be careful.
I'm a multi-tasker now.
And I know how to ask for forgiveness.
And now that I'm in ministry and I can with the excavator, I can dig the hole and pray
over your body before he came into the earth.
Now I say it's a joke and I said, I'm a Craig multi-tasker.
He looked to be all offended and Sam goes, that was really good.
So people think that as Christians, we should be doormats.
No.
Our job as Christians is to introduce people to God and Jesus Christ and to help them navigate
their relationship with God.
Yes.
Yeah, that's key.
That's the discipleship.
Right.
He didn't call us to convert the world.
He called us to make disciples of all the nations, right?
And you can't make a disciple if you have no relationship with them to teach them the
Word of God to the best of your understanding or lead them to someone who can.
Josh, that's amazing.
I thank you for that.
Something else that was pointed out to me, we've all heard it said, it's not what I
say that matters.
It's what I do.
That's wrong.
That's incorrect.
It's what I say and what I do.
It's by having a consistency.
It's by and through our relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
Now, as we're sitting here talking, let me say this, none of this has anything to do
with Dom or Shelly or Josh.
It's all about God and Jesus Christ.
Listen, he ordained this.
He knew this was going to happen today long before we ever even thought about it.
Oh, yes.
When I was shooting pull back in the 80s or 70s, he knew I'd be here in 2024 because
he knows things we don't.
He knows, I'll pray and I'll ask God to reveal me just a glimpse of his will for us and give
me the power to help carry that out.
Now, I encourage you not to pray for patience.
You will not like how that works out.
I actually encourage people to pray for the hard things because you'll never get it.
You'll be like, I don't want to pray for that because he'll test me.
Let him test you.
Hey.
Let him know what are you afraid of?
It's God testing you.
He's not going to kill you to do this.
It's going to mold you and make you better.
And yes, you're going to have a struggle, a live branch being pruned is still painful.
Amen.
I said, we serve a God of abundance, not a God of mediocrity.
You know what?
The profound change in our personality is the testimony of his grace and his mercy.
He took the apostle Paul.
He murdered Christians.
He took him.
Now he's the father of the church.
He's the tax, Matthew, the tax collector.
He used the most obscure people to send the biggest message because I asked somebody why,
why such a dramatic transformation?
He said, Adam, it had to be traumatic.
So they're still talking about it thousands of years later.
And to me, that just rang home.
Yes.
If he took a bunch of Sadducees and Pharisees and scribes and teachers of the law, people
would say, huh, but he literally sat down with the dregs of humanity or what was considered
the dregs of humanity in that time.
Fishermen weren't really looked upon as the best thing you could do.
The tax collector certainly wasn't the best you could do.
He had a zealot on his team that was willing to lay his life down for his concept of who
God was without even knowing who Jesus was, right?
And he took these people who didn't like each other because of the same cultural differences
that they had.
And man, he just made a group that was beyond reproach in considering that so many people
think that this is made up, right?
How did these people that started off not liking each other preach a message of love
in a way that was contradictory to the hateful message that was spread before it all the
way to their death if it wasn't true?
Why would I let this kill me if I didn't believe it?
To me, there's so much testament and proof in the Bible that people gloss over and don't
understand because they don't bother to God the chance to let him make it clear to them.
It's a great point.
For me, you know, in 2024, I see two things.
I see a sad state of affair where our world is gone and where I see it going.
It's no longer acceptable for me to talk about God and Jesus Christ in an open face.
We can talk about chance, gender and changing body parts off.
We can't talk about God, but we can talk about destroying people.
I put a post on it.
Yeah, you can't pray over people, but you can say curses over them.
Ain't that funny?
And I was going to allude to that.
So there's a I'm on a social media site platform and I got flagged for saying something that
was what they deemed inappropriate.
It was spiritual.
You know, I was talking about the crucifixion and the resurrection, but it wasn't OK for
them to sit there and belittle each other and criticize someone who had a mental disability.
So for me, just I got off of that site just so you know, I'm not on that site anymore.
My point being is the world's gone mad.
However, instead of me sitting around saying the world's gone mad, I look at that and say,
OK, here's an opportunity if we can introduce one, two, three, four of these people to God
and Jesus Christ and they can introduce one, two, three, four people.
Do you know why people attack Christians?
I'm going to give you the answer because we are not the most popular religion out there.
We are the minority.
There are there are more islams in the world than are our Christians.
There are more Hindus than are our Christians.
So what sells in sales?
The masses.
Ain't it funny how everybody celebrates Christmas?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
No, you never hear the atheists cry when they get Christmas off from working and have it
paid.
They'll decorate too.
I'm sure some do.
I'm going to take I'm sure I just never hear it.
Right.
My point being is it's funny how the whole world just started for that day.
But you know what?
No, listen, Ramadan, the only time I hear about Ramadan, it's on the news.
So my point being is so it's called benefits and burdens.
You can't have the benefits of being a Christian without the burden of responsibility of talking
to people about God and Jesus Christ.
So I'm involved in a group called Life Recovery and in April of this year, we're going to
do a conference with all like a lot of different pastors and priests and different things to
get these 12 step Christian based 12 step fellowship out to all areas and walks of life.
And I said to a couple of people in our life recovery, I said, you know, I already talked
to an Emon and, you know, a rabbi and they looked at me and said, Dom, this is Christ
base.
I go, yep.
I don't have to tell them how to do their book.
I just have to tell them about Jesus Christ.
That's my job.
What they do with it from there is entirely up to them.
Plant the seed.
And that's an I'm glad you said that because everybody says if you reap what you're going
to reap what you sow.
If you don't like what you're reaping, sow something different.
And God's word doesn't return void.
That's right.
But let me say that again, if you don't like what you're reaping, sow something different.
If your life is, listen, if you're comfortable in your mediocrity, if your bills are paid
and you're food in your house and you're living abundantly, you don't want to listen
to me.
I got nothing for you.
But if you're struggling like the rest of us, if you're tired of the pain and suffering
that people, human beings are causing in the world, sow something different.
Talk to somebody about God and Jesus Christ.
Somebody cut me off in traffic and then gave me the finger and I got out of the car and
I went over and I had one of my guys and he's looked to see what I was going to do.
You know, I'm a big guy, you know, and I can be intimidating if I want to be.
And I went over and I said, sir, are you suffering from a medical event?
He said, huh, sir, are you okay?
Are you suffering from a medical event?
Because that move leads me to believe that you're not well.
And my guy looked in the truck, he just looks at me.
He starts laughing when he gets, are you okay?
Okay, just making sure.
And he goes, well, man, I thought you were going to do something real bad to that guy.
I said, you know, what would that have changed?
If I let him pull me into that behavior, what would that have changed?
What I did was put him on notice to say, it's everything okay.
Can I pray for you?
You know, you asked what would that have changed?
I'm going to go ahead and use your tagline.
It could have changed everything.
He could have brought the old dumb back and he could have forgot everything he trusted
Jesus for.
I'm glad you said that, Josh, because I said earlier in this podcast, I hadn't had, you
know, it was 28 and a half years, but I've been cleaning sober for over 14 and a half
years at this point in time.
And as long as I don't hurt somebody who's innocent, I don't have to then hurt myself.
Let me qualify that for you.
I don't take drugs and alcohol today because I don't hurt people, the wrong people.
Because when I hurt somebody else, the wrong person, Shelly, the next thing I do as an
addict and alcoholic is hurt myself.
So as long as I'm in the solution, I don't have to be the problem today.
Yeah.
You mentioned earlier before we got on that not every door that's opened has been opened
by God for us to use.
That sometimes the enemy leaves the door.
And I think things like that allude to how the enemy can try to open a door to cause
you to fall and not just a little bit, but to fall all the way.
It was a 28, but the devil meant for we were evil, God will turn for good for those who
love him.
Yes.
And I said that earlier in one of these things that were right.
God then opened the door for another man's wife to end up in my bed or for my wife to
end up in another man's bed.
God then opened a door with an abundance of money for me to run the casino and squander
it.
That's the devil.
God didn't have the guy show up with the good crack cocaine or the good alcohol or
the good heroin.
I'm not into, but those aren't all by and for God things that you enjoyed at the time.
So I don't even want to say I enjoyed them.
That statement of enjoying them that went away early on.
Maybe some alcohol and I'm going to tell you what I enjoyed.
Maybe not the alcohol.
I enjoyed not having to be Dominic DeMarco for a short period of time.
I was able to numb that pain, but very quickly it stopped taking away the pain and the chemical
had to graduate to get the same result of removing that pain.
I had some surgeries about a year and a half ago and they gave me some pain medication
and I said to my doctor, she kept saying, you need more.
I'm like, I'm good.
I don't need it.
Don't get behind on this.
A lot of people get behind and then they get themselves in trouble.
I said, the physical pain that I'm in today is nowhere near the mental, spiritual or emotional
pain I'll be in if I start introducing chemicals into my body.
Now, was it the right decision?
I liked to believe it was, but more importantly is there are worse things than death.
There really are.
We just got through a pandemic here in this world and I don't want to say that it was
political, but it was political and I'm not going to get into that.
I'm just going to say it's funny how it was okay to leave Home Depot and Lowe's open,
but it wasn't okay to keep the church open.
Or Jens.
Right.
Stuff that'll keep you healthy.
Yeah, right.
I work in EMS and I can go ahead and tell you that everything you're saying is a hit,
not a miss.
Right.
And the other half of the coin is, am I disputing that there was a disease out there?
Not at all.
There was a disease out there that's killing people, but I believe that disease was man-made.
It just didn't show up here one day.
Listen, it's 2024 and I'm not the smartest guy in the world, but I'm a math guy.
And when two and two make three, something's missing.
So with that statement, it's amazing.
The sky is falling, the sky is falling.
Well, you know, I'm in construction.
I'll build a dead man.
We'll hold it back up.
Don't sit around and cry.
You got one moment to tell me about the problem, Josh.
The rest of the time, let's figure out the solution.
And the solution comes and through and by Jesus Christ.
That's it.
By his stripes, we are healed.
There's people in the world who would rather sit around and scream about the problem than
accept the responsibility of the solution.
Doesn't send their message or tell their story in a light that shows them and their
best.
Remember when you were young, you had that, your first boyfriend and girlfriend and your
heart was broken.
But then your second relationship comes and it breaks up and it's a little easier to
navigate through.
And then, you know, the third relationship, maybe, maybe it's really to get along.
It was a physical thing.
She's pretty.
He's cute.
Whatever.
But what does she learn to navigate through?
Well, COVID's the same way.
It's going to evolve.
You're going to evolve.
And we are going to evolve.
And it's a caterpillar and a butterfly.
We're in the cocoon.
And before Christ and after Christ in my life, I saw as a butterfly in Christ, the caterpillar
of this world, by and for this world, live in this world, not of this world or of this
world, instead in this world.
Yeah, it was staggering and it was taxing.
It weighed me down, living by man's law, man's rules.
I like my life with God in my life today.
You know, it's completely different.
We were talking earlier and we showed, I showed you a couple of pictures, one of my arrest
photos from like 1996.
And it wasn't very flattering.
Come on.
No, you're much better in person than you were in that photo.
Thank you.
But the reality, that's him.
We were all created in his image.
So I just preached this a few weeks ago.
So when you walk in and you see something, there's something about that person.
You said earlier, when you met Shelly, there was something about her.
You know, when you said, when you saw him, that's the relationship with God and Jesus
Christ and being open-minded enough to invite him in.
We hide behind that wall.
We're not just keeping the world out.
We become a prisoner from within.
And there's a freedom that lives and grows inside of us.
I started to say it earlier, but we got sidetracked.
But Pastor Pete, very good dear friend of mine.
Yeah, we were doing a class between the two groups here at church and he said something
about, well, what's bigger, your faith or your fear?
And I said, my face bigger.
It's got five letters, not four.
And he looked at me with a scowl.
But the reality is, what's bigger, my faith or my fear?
It depends on which one I cultivate.
Which one I feed.
It's like that old proverb about the two wolves, you know, the good wolf and the bad wolf.
For which one's bigger?
The one you feed.
One you feed.
So, you know, as we navigate through today and we navigate through 2024, I got to tell
you, the best is yet to come.
This is the, listen, it's not about what happens here on earth in 2024.
It's about the seeds we plant and those we cultivate to see where this is going to grow.
If you want a better world for you and your children, start cultivating a better world,
you know, instead of sitting around and complaining about the neighbor who does this, maybe doesn't
cut their grass, does this, does that, or whatever, try reaching out and putting yourself
in their shoes.
Ask them, what can I do to help?
I did an exercise at church and I put a gentleman on one side of the room and a gentleman on
the other side of the room and I said, what do you see?
And they told me what they see.
And I said to them, the guys after us, do you see that?
He goes, no.
I said, do you see that?
No, I said, here, change places.
So instead of sitting around and arguing over your opinion or my opinion or how you see
something, try putting yourself in that person's position.
It'll help you understand maybe why they think the way they think, maybe why they're acting
the way they act.
But more so, it'll also help you understand how you can help them navigate out, what steps
you need to take to help them get through whatever they're going through.
Because at the end of the day, there are 613 commandments in the Old Testament.
There's 1,050 in the New Testament, but it all comes down to these two.
Love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, and soul.
And love one another as I have loved you.
So if you want to learn something really special today, spend some time with your dog.
I heard you talking about your dogs.
I just got a new puppy a few weeks ago.
And he is my guy.
His name is Bandit because he steals hearts.
He also steals shoes and food.
He reaffirms to me every single day the greatest gift that God's given us, and that's unconditional
love.
So why can't as human beings, we learn to love one another as the way God has, the way Jesus
loved us, and unconditionally.
The minute we start putting conditions on our love for someone, I love you as long as
you're 120 pounds.
Well, you know, honey, you know, my thyroid's acting up and this happened.
And I went through some stuff.
I'm 175 pounds.
Now, now they're getting divorced and he's looking at the secretary or this and that.
Instead of them communicating and navigating through the problem, their unconditional love
has what?
Conditions.
And it goes, love one another as I have loved you.
Well, I'm leaving my husband or my wife because she's an active alcoholic or an addict.
Isn't that in sickness and health?
And wasn't that one of the things we talked about before we got married?
How about loving them back to health?
See as a woman, Shelly, you need to feel loved.
We told Josh, hey, listen, Josh, take out the trash.
Hey, I'm going to get that right after this play.
I'm going to take that trash out and he forgets.
You wake up and say, he doesn't love me.
He didn't take the trash out.
When that's not true, he just forgot.
And Josh, you need to feel respected.
She needs to feel loved and you need to feel respected.
So, you know, when you say you come home, you say it was a hard day's work and I'm hungry,
there's nothing on the table to eat.
But she was taking care of stuff at her job today too.
Nothing stops us from doing, doing two rules here.
But I just feel disrespected instead of communicating that we live in a world where it's easier
to go online and look at a social media site or maybe text pictures of our body back and
forth.
Listen, you know why relationships lasted so long a hundred years ago?
There's no social media.
You know, we went through a class about love and respect.
I love that book.
Just so you know.
We could tell that you read it or had heard of it.
And there's another book I'm going to talk about when I'm done here too.
It's a vicious cycle because when you feel unloved, you're going to show disrespect.
When you feel disrespected, you're going to show acting on loving ways.
And one of the tips that we learned from that, you know, the men speak the blue language,
the women speak the pink.
And sometimes you need to reset.
And sometimes if I'm feeling unloved, I need to say I'm feeling a little unloved and this,
you know, and then say what could be different.
And then, you know, he'll say, I'm feeling a little disrespected.
Did I do something to make you feel unloved?
And when you put it that way, it kind of changes things and opens up that conversation to get
back on track a little bit.
What I find is funny, not ha ha, but peculiar is how you can speak to each other before
you get deeply involved in a relationship.
And something you say that's a quip is funny.
And then he said, again, when you're deep in a relationship and it's taken the wrong
way every time.
And I think that comes from a place from a lot of people that have experienced not unconditional
love when they were younger.
And so they assume that you can't love them.
So they assume the wrong way every single time.
And that puts such a challenge on our relationship with the father because we assume that he loves
us but not in an unconditional way that I need to please him in some way.
Right.
And we can read it all day long.
Hey, while we were still sinners, he gave his son for us.
Right.
We could read all day long how he meets us where we are, not where we ought to be because
he sees this finished work.
But it's so hard to wrap your brain around that when you have suffered some kind of trauma.
And I think a married couple has an edge on single people in that they can lift each other
up and reaffirm that unconditional love when practiced correctly.
When practiced correctly.
Hey, I'm glad you said that.
That's amazing.
That's a great vision.
And I can see what you're saying.
There's another book out there, Sam's Wife, Amy helped me with this.
She, when debt passed away, I didn't have any of these skills.
I, you know, I built a building like a son of a gun, but you know what I mean, but it's
for these personal things we're talking about now.
These would have been uncomfortable for me five, 10, 20 years ago.
But I got myself some good grief counseling.
And when I started dating, even though I didn't have an issue, I did couples counseling.
And then when I broke up in that relationship, I did 16 couples therapy sessions alone because
I wanted to not carry the skeletons from my past into a future relationship.
But Amy gave me this book.
It's called the five languages of love.
And it's an amazing book.
And it led me in another direction to the five languages of apology.
So as a couple, it's written by Henry Claude, same author.
But basically this is a correct apology.
I'm sorry for the action that I did, whatever it was and how it affected you.
I promise you I will do everything in my power so it doesn't happen again.
What can I do to make it right?
That's one way of saying I'm sorry.
Listen, I'm sorry.
You sure are.
Most of the time you have no idea what you did wrong.
Oh, yeah, it's me.
Yeah, I never know.
So until you can identify with the, you can't change what we don't acknowledge.
We have to be able to identify what the problem is to help navigate through that solution.
And our relationship with God and Jesus Christ is just that.
So when people say, how do I get a relationship with God?
How do I get a relationship with Jesus Christ today?
Well, how did you get a relationship with your wife?
You cultivated it.
How'd you get a relationship with your son?
You cultivated it.
How'd you get a relationship with your parents?
They cultivated it.
You know, it starts with desire, right?
I desire a relationship, but I want to know who you are.
That's right.
I want to know what that burning desire in your heart.
And then you have to ask questions because I don't know who you are.
I know that I like what I see, but I don't know who I'm talking to.
So for the start, what's your name?
How do you like to be called?
Right.
And you can do the dumb questions with your favorite color or what do you like to eat,
right?
Or you can be more engaged and say, so what do you do for a living?
You know, how do you spend your time when you're not at work?
What are some of the things you like to do and find out what the common ground is?
How about this?
How are you doing today?
What's the best part of your day today?
Other than talking to me.
Right.
Well, listen, what was the most challenging part of your day today?
And what can we do to make sure it doesn't happen together to happen again?
So listen, I believe the strongest relationships, whether it's with a man and a woman, whether
it's with a father or a child, a mother or her children, brothers and sisters, friends
at work, coworkers, whatever, relationships are all the same.
Just the parties change, the labels change, the rights, the duties, the responsibilities,
they remain the same.
Just the dynamic of the relationship changes.
And some are deeper.
I loved my wife differently than I loved my children and my parents, but I love them all.
So it's what I said earlier.
It's exercising that relationship.
It's exercising the muscle of that relationship so that we are constantly growing and making
it stronger, not doing things that will undermine and tear it down.
And my relationship with God and Jesus Christ is exactly that.
What am I doing today to exercise that relationship?
Before I leave my house every day, I tell my partner this, I tell her, I say, listen,
I love you.
And this is why.
I'm really proud of you.
And this is why.
And I don't do it quite this way.
I do it a little differently.
Like I'm really proud of you today.
Like you were able to get up and comb your hair.
I'm using it as an example, but it's just it's a joke, but something.
And that no matter what this world throws at us, we'll get through it together.
And I found when I do that with God at 430 in the morning, God, I don't know what today's
going to throw at us, but it's me and you.
We're going to get through it together.
You know, God, hey, listen, I'm sorry.
Most days I could say, I want to wake up and I don't hear God say, hey, Don, great job
on them.
100 tasks yesterday.
I wake up and I hear God, the devil say, Hey, you did good on that 99, but I got you
on that one and I'll be waiting out there again today.
And that's why I say, Hey, listen, don't you think I want to run around saying, why me?
This is my God.
Go ahead.
Try me.
You can't take away what you didn't provide.
I thought you were going to say something clever like, yeah, what God's going to come
for that one.
Yeah, that's right.
Well, no, we're good.
Listen, he knows because listen, if you know anything about exercise, if you don't work
for it, you don't appreciate it.
And that relationship with God and Jesus Christ is just that we have to appreciate it.
Am I walking around with an attitude she has more than I have or he has more than I have.
He has a pretty nicer car, a prettier wife.
He has more money in the bank.
His job is better than mine.
Am I saying thank you God for what I got?
Is it my am I having a walk around with an attitude?
Or am I thanking him with gratitude?
What do I want?
Honestly, what do you need that you don't have?
There's nothing.
Well, I mean, probably a new place to rent.
But that's okay.
Yeah, that's there.
So I'm completely content.
I'm unfazed, unbothered.
It's another opportunity for me to continue to shine through and show the love of God
to other people by our demeanor and our actions.
I really feel that a lot of Christians, they stop where they are saved, right?
Jesus Christ God died for them.
And being wonderful news that it is, most Christians stop there and they don't understand
that they're still in this cage.
The door is unlocked, but they're still in the cage because they're comfortable.
And you're speaking about all this stuff on the outside, right?
That we have a kingdom that we're inherited, that we're called in the very near presence
of God, that we're called as sons and daughters.
We're adopted into this, right?
And that we're called in the Great Commission to represent God Almighty.
And this is where a lot of the problems come up in our world that people hate Christians
is because people poorly represent God and people will blame God for the actions of poor
representation.
And it's not on God.
And then the best part is that we don't go alone.
That Jesus says, Hey, if you let me, I will come into you and I will love the loss that
you can't love.
And I will love the broken that you can't love.
And I will give you the fortitude to go through this that you can't muster because I am better
than you.
And then when he starts doing or acting as himself through us, then he's imitating God.
And he's really good at that, right?
But if we try to do it, we're not very good at it and we'll break, crumble, we'll fall,
we mess up and then we ask God, why did this happen this way?
Because we're trying to do God's job.
All we have to do is allow the impartation of Jesus Christ to overtake our life.
I'm glad you said that, Josh.
You know the biggest difference between us and God?
He didn't wake up this morning and said, Hey, let's act like Josh had dawned today.
You know what I mean?
So why would we try to act like him?
You know, and something else you said was really powerful.
Every day is a new opportunity.
You know, what you don't know is that it's all about the seasons.
And you know, you made a joke earlier about finding a new place to rent.
You have no idea what God has in store for you.
He may have.
It's going to be a great story though.
Amen.
But here's the best part.
Listen, again, what Satan meant for you, God will turn for good.
There's a season and he hasn't revealed it yet to you, but he's going to do something
amazing.
There's somebody that God needs you to intersect in their lives.
See, not everybody starts this journey and ends this journey with us.
So most people are here for a season or two or three.
My last relapse is when my mom passed away because I was mad at God.
And I remember going to therapy and I, grief therapy.
And I said, you know, like they talked about having a relationship because I said, I had
a relationship called I did this and I did this and I did this and I did this.
And I remember the therapist looking at me.
She said, well, nobody gets out of this thing alive.
You know, I've heard you talk about your mom and she's not suffering anymore.
I said, yeah, but I'm just mad because I wish I had had more time and this and that.
And she says, you know, God can handle your anger.
I'm also working for you.
So in something else you said there, you said about, you know, religion will let us down.
Spiritual, I'm not a religious man.
I'm a spiritual man.
Religion pushes us apart.
Religion brings us together.
So with that being said, if you think that you have a right to be mad at religion, think
about Jesus Christ.
It was the religious Pharisees that killed him.
Yeah, religion killed Jesus.
That's right.
So if he forgave them, why can't we?
See a lot of people want to hold on to their V card, their victim card.
Poor me.
Hey, pour me a drink.
Hey, pour me a pile of cocaine on the table.
Hey, pour me some fentanyl.
Listen, I'll show you, I'll hurt me.
Hurt people hurt people.
You heard that statement all the time.
Well, we're going to change that starting today.
Healing people heal people.
I refuse to give the devil a key to this house when you don't have one to his own.
And that reminds me of a phrase, if it breaks God's heart, why do we think it will fulfill
ours?
I think that's something to really hold on to with that.
Oftentimes, we seek personal enjoyment.
What we think is enjoyment.
We seek something to fill a hole in our lives.
And Shelly has experience in this and she has a little phrase that she likes to say
that she would do certain things to fill an H-O-L-E hole in her life.
And then she had a relationship with Jesus and he made her W-H-O-L-L.
There you go.
And I think a lot of us strive, especially in today's world, with trying to feel accepted
so much so that we miss our God-given right of acceptance that's right before us.
You know what?
You said this.
Say them words again.
Say it again.
We miss our God-given right.
So that is our inheritance.
So, you know, we live in a world where everybody's like, what did you, what did you, you know,
so and so passed away with their parents leave them?
Well, your God, your father gave you an inheritance and it's yours.
All you have to do is say yes.
All you have to do is invite him in.
You have to claim it.
Claim it.
You can walk away.
Absolutely.
You can want nothing to do with it.
That's right.
But that sounds foolish to me.
Me too.
But that's just this two guys' opinion.
And you think about where your life is today and where it's going.
I may not know where he's taken me, but I know where he's taken me from.
You know, God didn't open up the doors to heaven and let me in, but he did open up the
doors to hell and let me out.
Yeah, I'm at that point in my life where I don't know where he's taken me.
And I like the ride, so I'm okay with it.
Right.
It's quite the adventure.
My goodness.
What are you like?
How can you not want a road trip with God?
Like, where are we going?
How could you not want him with you?
You know, we were, we took a road trip yesterday at the Cleveland.
I had to go see a dentist, some stuff I'm going to have done and it was me and Sam and
Amy and Dawn and we were, and we hit the puppy for the road because we're going to take him
to Florida with me in a couple of weeks when I go.
And I wanted to see if he could tolerate the trip.
And it was a spiritual base.
We didn't have one song on the radio.
We sat around and we talked about God and where he was in our lives and our relationships
and what we could do to be better people.
You know, there wasn't gossip and innuendo about, did you hear what he did and she did
and blah, blah, blah.
It was, you know, it was more so, hey, listen, look at the growth in this person and what
can we do to cultivate them to help them get to the next level?
And I got home last night and I was sitting there and I, every day I do this inventory.
You know, what's the best part of my day, worst part of my day, you know, what, what
could I've done differently?
You know, did I, did I miss an opportunity?
I'd rather be burned and screwed over 99 times and miss that one person and God puts in our
life to try to help.
And yesterday I was sitting there about 9.30 at night going, it was a pretty God day.
I didn't say a good day.
It was a God day because every God day is a good day.
Oh yes.
Agreed.
Dominic, it was a, it was a really great having you on.
And as Shelly stated earlier, the more she gets to know you, the more she really likes
you.
I mean, I absolutely in love with you.
You are just a personality.
You are every bit on the outside or on the inside, what you portray on the outside.
You are every bit the person, a man of God.
I remember we had a, there was a concert here and we, a young man outside and I was talking
to him and you came out unashamed, just started tag team loving this guy.
And I just really appreciate your heart that you have for Jesus.
I appreciate, especially knowing where you came from, you know, you came from organized
or disorganized crime.
And you've been shot a couple of times in the line of, of the misduty and you are in
a place now that is so far from that life that it seems unreal that it could possibly
be like you are literally a different human being completely utterly and without fail,
another human being on this earth that God has blessed us with.
And I, I for one, am really, really grateful for a man of your caliber to be in the kingdom.
Thank you.
I can start off by saying thank you for the human side of that, but that's, that's not
me.
That's all buying for him.
See, he had to take me through that road, that, that, that hell and, and bring me out
as a testimony to his grace and mercy.
So people could look and say, if it could happen with Dom, if it could happen with Shelly,
if it could happen with Josh, it could happen to you.
You know, somebody said, I just heard somebody got a new convertible and they said, somebody
said, I want that car.
I said, then do what he did.
Huh?
Then do what he did.
If you want what we have to offer and you're willing to make any effort to get it, then
you ready to take some certain steps.
And one of them is to have that relationship with God.
If you want what I have in my life today, mentally, physically, financially, spiritually,
emotionally, materially, then build that relationship with God and Jesus Christ because
none of it's mine.
It's all his.
Hmm.
See, Kim first.
And, and, and you know what?
Be a good steward.
Somebody said to me recently, they said, you know, you're kindness and generosity.
It's not me.
I'm a naturally selfish person.
It's bred into us, but I can be selfish or I can be selfless.
I can be God fearing and still be God knowing.
The love I have for my God and his son, Jesus Christ is the love he had for me.
It's unconditional.
So if you want a conditional life, I ain't your guy.
Shelly, you're not the girl.
Josh, you're not the guy.
But if you want an unconditional relationship with the God of your understanding, by all
means do what we do.
Come join us.
I, you know, I said it earlier when we weren't on the show, you know, I, somebody said to
me, well, that doesn't sound very Christian like, well, which church do you go to?
Maybe I'm reading that scripture wrong.
Let's read it together.
I look at that as an opportunity.
I find actually most non-Christians feel that we're perfect.
I had somebody say to me, does your church give away free turkeys?
I said, I don't know.
I've never, I've never been part of that.
But, but, but hey, I could check into it.
Why don't you come on out?
Oh, I just want the free turkey.
I said, well, doesn't your church give away free turkeys?
Well, I don't go to church.
Maybe if you went to church, you wouldn't need a free turkey.
But if you came to my church, I promise you someone get you a turkey.
For sure.
If you have a life with Christ, then you got to be Christ like.
And that sounds hard.
And it is hard in your own strength.
Amen.
But if you allow him, as I said earlier, from Jesus to overtake your life, it works.
I know we're running out of time, but there's something I want to say.
Hey, listen, this is the easiest relationship you're ever going to have.
If you invite him in, he comes in.
If you ask him to leave, he walks away.
How many times do you try to get out of a bad relationship?
A toxic relationship?
They never go away.
But if I invite God and Jesus Christ into my life, he comes in.
If I ask him to leave, he goes away.
We didn't have shootings in the courthouse when we had the Ten Commandments there and
we had God in there.
We didn't have many shootings in the school when we had God in there.
You ask him to leave, he went away.
I would rethink that position.
Absolutely.
Not that I know a whole lot.
I do know this.
I'm going to keep God in my circle.
My life's a whole lot safer.
Absolutely.
And with that, we thank you for listening to us and letting the Holy Spirit guide this
conversation.
And with that, I would like to say that we have a fundraising campaign that helps us
with the audio expenses because we do not edit this ourselves.
We have a professional that helps.
It's not our gifting.
Goodness, no.
And so it does not bring us joy.
So with that, if you go to gifsango.com and look up God's goodness podcast, you can make
a donation there and we would greatly appreciate the help and we'll talk to you next time.