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Welcome to the God's Goodness podcast, where our mission is to encourage as well as highlight

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God's goodness and modern-day miracles.

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We are your hosts, Josh and Shelly Hankins.

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Today we have with us a special guest.

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We actually met through a leadership conference in last November, and Ian was the one who

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introduced us.

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Ian, it was our episode.

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It's actually ranking third place now.

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It's called Choose Whom You Will Serve.

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So we brought Connor Wilson with us to the show today, and he's going to guide us in

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an opening prayer.

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Thank you.

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Father God, we give thanks for getting to be here.

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Get to share your message, share your good word.

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We are honored, and we just ask that the Holy Spirit guide our thoughts and our words and

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our message today to be able to impact one.

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And if we can impact one, then we could impact many.

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We give thanks for all the glory, all the amazing things that you have done in our lives, and

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we are excited to share the gospel and share the good news today.

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In Jesus' name, we pray.

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Amen.

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Amen.

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So where would you like to start, Connor?

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Well, Genesis, right?

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Chapter, no.

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In the beginning.

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Yeah, in the beginning.

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God created man.

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So one of the main things on my heart that I wanted to share is the...

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I mean, there's so much, but growing up, I'll just start with my beginning, kind of a little

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bit of my background, and then we'll evolve this conversation wherever the Spirit takes

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us to.

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Yeah, let us get to know you.

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Yeah.

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So growing up, humble times, I think as Ian said, and just a lot of chaos.

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There is a lot of addiction in my family, amongst parents, cousins, uncles.

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It was just inundated in my whole family and in my whole experience.

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So growing up under chaos, I learned how to be vigilant, how to survive.

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And an important lesson that I feel that I learned about trauma is when you don't have

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somebody safe to connect with and to share it with, that's when we start to embody that

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trauma.

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So that's why sometimes I feel like some people come back from war and they experience extremely

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severe PTSD where others come home and they are able to resume a normal life.

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I do feel that it is in part because of people's ability to connect and cope and share and

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kind of talk their way through and to resolve that trauma.

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You know, you don't know this yet, but the podcast we recorded just before this episode,

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which releases next week, he talked about PTSD, John Colve, and what he said was they were

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like soldiers, they had a mission and then when they come home, there's no focus.

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You know, like they need that purpose.

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Yeah, for sure.

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I mean, and then I hear a lot of soldiers will come home and they'll say, they're physically

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they're home, but mentally they're still on the battleground.

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They're still at war.

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And it's probably very challenging to come back and resume the normal day to day where

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what they just experienced was something far more just amplifying.

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Yeah, yeah, everyone here has no idea.

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Right.

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They're looking around at people that are going around their daily lives as if nothing

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has happened.

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And for them, everything has happened and they have to try to pretend like nothing has happened

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so they can fit in with society.

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Right.

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That's tough.

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I can only imagine.

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I never went overseas praise, but we give thanks and gratitude for everybody who has

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served our country.

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Absolutely.

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And so I say all this to say that I feel like in my home life, I never had someone a safe

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space to for an outlet, somebody to connect with.

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And I feel like that's vitally important for a child to at least have somebody safe to

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talk about these things.

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I didn't learn this until way later on when I went to my first therapy session when I was

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in my twenties.

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And this was the first time that I completely got everything off my chest.

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I told him everything.

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And he told me something very important.

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He told me when we carry a lot of these things can think about it as luggage.

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And so we're carrying on this baggage and it starts to compile and compile.

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But then when we're able to talk to somebody safe, it's like that person metaphorically

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is carrying that luggage with you.

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So you're carrying a little bit less, more less weight as you begin to be able to open

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up as you're able to connect and express yourself authentically and transparently.

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So it's not that I saw this counselor a million times after that, but I saw him just a couple

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of times in that message always stuck with me.

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So going into young early adult years, I felt that I was on the path of least resistance.

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I was going with the current of life the way that society wants a lot of boys to go, whether

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it be partying, addiction, you name it.

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I was on it pornography, struggled with that.

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And ultimately I just felt like I was missing the manual for life.

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I always remember telling people like I'm looking for something.

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I don't know what I'm searching, but I just like, I don't know what.

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And so a lot of people are searching, but they don't realize they're searching, you

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know, they have that whole H-O-L-E, but they need to find Jesus to make them whole with

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the W H-O-L-E.

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Yeah, I love that.

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It's a yearning, right?

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It's a yearning.

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Looking for something more.

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Yeah.

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Like what is out there that I'm missing?

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Well, we're created spiritual beings for relationship.

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And a lot of people, and you'll hear celebrities and whatnot, you know, tote that we're spiritual

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beings, but so is the enemy, right?

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And we'll crave a spiritual relationship.

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Now God wants that for us, but if we're not careful, we'll get that spiritual relationship

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from something, anything else, just because our bodies long to be reunited spiritually

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with a father figure.

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Well said.

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Well said.

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I feel like for me in my addiction, it was a false God.

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It was the only escape that I could find that it was almost like I was looking for a spiritual

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experience through these false drugs, something artificial like alcohol.

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It was nothing too crazy, but it was enough to dance with the devil a little bit.

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So this was going on until like I went to college to basically to chase a girl.

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I chose my major because I liked CSI, so I thought forensic science would be good for

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me.

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That just goes to show how aimless I was.

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And so quickly I realized that I was very out of place and dropped out, started to,

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I would progressively dig deeper and deeper into this hole until I got into a car accident.

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And I truly believe that an angel saved my life in this car accident.

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It just wrapped its arms around my shoulders and I walked out of this unscathed.

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And I remember being in the ambulance and I remember feeling like a part of me died.

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Like it was the biggest relief of my life because I knew that I have to change.

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This is the way that this, what the direction is taking me is death institutions or jails.

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So when you had this revelation in the back of a boo boo bus, did you have a relationship

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with Jesus at that moment?

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Did you even know who he was?

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Not at all.

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Not at all.

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Grew up Catholic, but I think through osmosis.

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My parents didn't practice.

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I never saw them reading a Bible.

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We never would talk about the word after church.

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It was just something that we did to check a box.

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And so I think I just caught that and was never taught that.

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So my relationship with Jesus came a little bit later.

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It seems like he was pursuing you though.

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Always.

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And as soon as you take a step towards him, he's running towards you, huh?

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And so after that car accident, I just, I remember listening to the song, Fast Car, by

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Tracy Chapman.

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But for the first time, it felt like the song was directly speaking to me.

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It was saying that I could be someone I felt like life could have very easily have just

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been taken from me in that moment.

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Like all the signs that it could have very easily have been the end for me.

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So it was just as I started to understand that I'm here for a purpose.

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And although I haven't figured it out yet, like I want to be here and I want to start

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taking steps towards bettering myself, my relationship with drugs and alcohol.

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And so as that continued to evolve, what ultimately got me into recovery this time around and

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this time which stuck was a Bible verse that jumped off the Bible to me and resonated in

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my core.

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And could I share that?

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Absolutely.

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So it's Romans 12 and Romans 12 goes, And so dear brothers and sisters, I plead with

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you to give your bodies to God because of all that he has done for you.

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Let them be a living and holy sacrifice, the kind he will find acceptable.

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That is truly the way to worship him.

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And that just jumped off the page of me because what it was, it was an invitation.

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It was an invitation to something that I'm able to do, something that's not out of my

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reach.

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It's not something that he's not asking me to do anything extraordinary.

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It's to present my body as a living sacrifice.

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And after all the trauma and the struggle with addiction, I realized the Holy Spirit

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was working in me this whole time of saying, just let go.

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Just let go.

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Let go and let God.

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Give it to me.

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And if you give it to him, he'll take it.

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It's like that.

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The line from the movie Matrix and he tells Neo to stop trying to hit him and just hit

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him.

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Stop trying so hard and just do it.

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Right.

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Don't try to please me.

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Just be right.

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Just give yourself to me.

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Stop trying so hard to run in circles.

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Just let it go.

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That's what it reminds me of.

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I mean, I think it's something so hard for many of us because we're very action oriented

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people and a lot of us do come from trauma or broken homes or brokenness that we feel

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that we need to do something to win approval.

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And we forget that while we were still sinners that he sent his son for us, right, that he

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didn't wait for us to be all fixed up, brand new, buffed out and shiny rolling off the

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lot.

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Right.

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He didn't wait for that.

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He saw us in that farm field rusting out, you know, and he's like that, that right there.

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That's my child.

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And, you know, he's got this mission of fixing you all up and it's up to us to trust him

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in the process.

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That's where I am right now.

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I'm just going to seven different colors and rag for a gas cap, but the engine works and

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it's solid, you know, roadworthy.

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Just not real pretty.

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It's a lipstick and rouge.

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Yeah.

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No, I love that.

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And we're talking the matrix now.

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So this podcast is officially rolling.

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So one of the definitions of addiction that really like struck out to me and resonates

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with me is a addiction is progressive narrowing of the things that bring you pleasure.

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And so when you look at Maslow's hierarchy and ease, you got it.

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Anybody who you've ever seen who is deep in addiction, we start to realize that everything

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from their physiological needs, their, their food, water, shelter, clothing, sleep, it

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starts to become a second thought.

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The priority and it's like a hijacking of the mind from the enemy.

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And we start to prioritize getting our drug before anything else.

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And so it's just interesting when you think of like somebody who was homeless and they

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start to lose themselves in order to just get the drug that they're looking for.

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So yeah.

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Anyway, that was a little tangent.

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It happens to me all the time.

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Yeah.

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It's nice.

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I feel relaxed.

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I feel like I'm grateful that we can, I'm just kind of talking off that cup.

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Like it's grateful that it's nice that you can edit it and you can kind of work through

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it.

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It's my, one of my first podcast experiences.

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So I'm glad to have you here.

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Yeah, I'm honored.

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Glad to finally meet you.

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Yeah, me too.

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So what does it you do now?

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Yeah.

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So right now I am working as a recovery coach and a health coach to help people to achieve

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long-term recovery and sobriety.

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And ultimately I feel it's a disservice in the recovery community to not prioritize physical

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health and mental health as well.

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So I try to put all those pieces together to help someone achieve wholeness and to be

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able to let go and let God work in a direction that's in alignment with God's will.

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So the number of addicts that I have run across, I'm an EMT and I've seen my fair share.

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How difficult is it to try and help or as you say, be a coach for somebody that doesn't

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want to be honest because of the guilt and shame that they're laying themselves because

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whatever reason, I'm not sure why all addicts have a propensity to lie about what they're

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doing, but they all do.

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And when you generally show them that you care, they still don't want to open up.

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And how difficult does it make it for you to coach them into recovery, to coach them

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in a better habits, to coach them into a life of fulfillment with Jesus Christ and not in

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said activity that they're addicted to?

242
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Yeah.

243
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:58,200
It's extremely challenging, but honesty is step one.

244
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Like until someone has admitted that they're powerless and they're ready to be transparent

245
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with you and honest with you, there's not much work that can be done to be honest.

246
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That's on the man upstairs.

247
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With that said, though, it's a gift that I have overcome some of these things personally.

248
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I feel that pain and vulnerability is an adhesive.

249
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It brings people together.

250
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:27,040
So at times it may look like leading, being the first one say, I'll step up first and

251
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be vulnerable with you.

252
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:34,480
And I think it's an invitation and it gives them the ability to be vulnerable right back.

253
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It reminds me of Romans 828 where he works all things together for the good.

254
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,680
So he takes all your garbage and your mess and he turns it into your, you know, it turns

255
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:47,400
that test into a testimony and then you're able to guide people through that.

256
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,560
And that's what he wants from us.

257
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:52,800
He wants us to be able to have relationships with each other and then help each other through

258
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,000
the things because we weren't meant to be alone in all this.

259
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,000
Oh yeah, sure.

260
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,360
The Bible does speak about the power of our testimony and how powerful it would be if

261
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we didn't have one.

262
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And so of course we have to go through trials.

263
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:05,680
Of course we have to go situations.

264
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You know, I first came to Jesus, I didn't do it because I was under duress.

265
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I did it because I felt like the right thing to do.

266
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And it took me a long time to finally get to a place where I had an experience with

267
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,880
him that really changed, that really ramped things up for me.

268
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And it was an adversity.

269
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It wasn't because, oh, it's a nice day for a barbecue.

270
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I'm going to go talk to Jesus.

271
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There's no adversity.

272
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,160
It's everything's good, Lord.

273
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Everything's good in my pocket.

274
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And he doesn't operate that way.

275
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It's hard to have an experience with him because if we're all on top and we're in a good position,

276
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,480
it's hard to say, I need you.

277
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I need to lean on you.

278
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,600
I can't imagine life without you.

279
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:51,080
When you're looking at your six bedroom house, three bathrooms, three car garage and your

280
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,640
kids are going to college all paid for.

281
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:56,120
You know, it's hard to think about him when you're doing so well.

282
00:15:56,120 --> 00:16:00,440
But when you hit that, the pavement, you know, and you chip your teeth and you're struggling

283
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:04,120
to stand up because your shoulder's hurting and you're just down and beaten down.

284
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,160
You're still getting beat and you start calling to him.

285
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:10,640
Then you realize the need that you absolutely have for him, which I really love.

286
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:15,800
That's why we have that old law, the 613 laws, you know, don't shave.

287
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,480
Like, well, I broke that a few times.

288
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:21,400
Oh, pray after you eat not before broke that one.

289
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,040
Don't touch anybody after you've bled.

290
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,280
Well, I've bled plenty of times.

291
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,040
And so I broke that one.

292
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,320
I haven't taken care of crops.

293
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,520
I haven't taken care of fields.

294
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,520
I haven't.

295
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:34,080
I've broken almost every one of those laws and without even knowing it.

296
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:39,520
And it's just as a thing that Jesus says that I've not come to abolish the law, but fulfill

297
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,960
it, right?

298
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:45,400
And that's fulfilled in the fact that we know that we can't do the law.

299
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,080
We know we cannot uphold the law.

300
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:51,080
And that's it's really just a reminder that we need a savior.

301
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:54,760
And that's the whole purpose of the law is to remind us that we need Jesus.

302
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,440
And it's hard for us when we're on the top and we have everything to remember.

303
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:02,280
And so he has a good way of humbling us, you know, knocking us off our stools, which I

304
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,960
very much appreciate, although not in the moments that it's happening.

305
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,560
Yeah, there's always that but Jesus, like, right?

306
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,120
Like I've broken all these rules.

307
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:14,280
I've done all this, but Jesus.

308
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:17,240
And I've cultivated like a certain perspective in my life.

309
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:21,480
I call it the bright side perspective where I ask a lot of people this question is why

310
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:25,440
is one of the worst things in your life actually the best thing in your life?

311
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:30,120
And it might like granted, there's different berries and degrees to trauma.

312
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:34,360
But for a lot of people, I think once they're able to get to a point where they're grateful

313
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:38,080
for some of their trauma, they'd be grateful for all of their trauma.

314
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,280
That unlocks a whole new level of acceptance.

315
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,640
It's a superpower.

316
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,680
We're operating from a place of acceptance.

317
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,840
I think that's really when that's good soil for the Holy Spirit to really start to work

318
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,760
in, I feel.

319
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,680
And it also illustrates the attitude of gratitude that you hear so much about, you know, do

320
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:59,520
everything with thanks to God, thanks this and thanks that that, you know, without without

321
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:03,040
gratitude, optimism means nothing.

322
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:08,120
And so when you come at everything with a heart of gratitude, then you could be the

323
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:12,400
most joyous, optimistic person with nothing, you know, Paul learned to be content through

324
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,400
all things.

325
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,400
Right.

326
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,160
When I'm poor and I'm rich, when I'm hungry, when I'm fed, I'm good, you know, I'm good.

327
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,160
Why?

328
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,160
Because he had gratitude.

329
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,520
Give thanks to the Lord all the time in every situation.

330
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,240
Oh, you're both saying praise God.

331
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:25,240
I didn't.

332
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,240
Right.

333
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,240
Oh, this happened.

334
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,240
Praise God.

335
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,240
It didn't happen to me.

336
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,240
Praise God.

337
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,240
I won't be hungry tomorrow.

338
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,240
Right.

339
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,080
He's always praising God, even in the worst things.

340
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,760
All you just got stoned to death.

341
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:36,760
Almost.

342
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:37,760
Praise God.

343
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:38,760
I'm still alive.

344
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:39,760
Right.

345
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,920
And so it's a perspective that he had that I think most of us Christians really need

346
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:43,920
to adopt.

347
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,840
And it's not a mighty man of Jesus thing.

348
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,040
It's a thing all Christians can embrace.

349
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,760
It's men, women, children, the elderly.

350
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:51,840
It doesn't matter.

351
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,040
It doesn't matter what you're demographic.

352
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,080
It doesn't matter your physical fitness.

353
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,360
All people that believe in Jesus can show gratitude.

354
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:00,360
Yeah.

355
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,600
There can't be a testimony without the test.

356
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,920
There won't be the message without the mess that came prior to, like you said, Shelly.

357
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:12,120
And I feel like it's not easy when you're in the storm to say, thank you, God.

358
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:16,520
I know that there's a lesson to be learned here, but I think that's what we're inviting

359
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:20,760
certain people to think about if they are going through a storm right now.

360
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:27,840
If they are going through something that they need help with, then just what God, what are

361
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,000
you trying to teach me here?

362
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:34,600
Or God, I trust that there is a golden lesson to be learned on the other side of this and

363
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:35,600
I trust that.

364
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:39,040
And so I'm going to get through another day or I'm going to get through another minute

365
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:43,160
or I'm going to get through another second, but I trust on the other side of this, there

366
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,680
will be a testimony there.

367
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:51,680
When we were going through the 27 months and one week, no discernible income, it's like

368
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:56,680
we better learn the lesson from this because I don't want to go through this again.

369
00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:01,560
I think one of the lessons that we learned from that was receiving gifts and help from

370
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:02,560
other people.

371
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:07,480
It's like we're in this together, you know, and God would put people in our lives that

372
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:08,480
helped us through that.

373
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,560
See, I learned complete contentment.

374
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,280
I'm content in pretty much everything.

375
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,800
I don't care if I've got a good paying job or a poor paying job.

376
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:22,440
I don't care if it, I do care if it's no, it's because I don't like this, but only because

377
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,440
I don't like shoveling it.

378
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:28,080
And because when I work, I have to do more because people don't drive well in the snow

379
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:32,600
and people shouldn't shovel at certain physical conditions and they do anyway.

380
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,600
And so it causes a little bit more work for me.

381
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:40,320
But for the most part, I am content in everything.

382
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,120
I'm content with where I am in my family.

383
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,120
I'm content.

384
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,360
So my wife wanted to do this podcast.

385
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,400
It wasn't really on my heart.

386
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,520
I was content.

387
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:53,720
And so because we're married and because I am the other half of her, you know, God called

388
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,720
me to do this.

389
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,280
Like, well, that means he called me to do that if we're one person, right?

390
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:02,360
And I hate doing things begrudgingly, right?

391
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:05,560
So it takes me a while to get motivated the correct way.

392
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:10,680
You know, I do children's ministry at this church and I didn't want to do it.

393
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:15,080
The children's minister said, Hey, would you be thinking about this?

394
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,440
God really put your name on my heart and life.

395
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:17,440
Of course you did.

396
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,520
But she didn't know he did it at all the other.

397
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,600
Every church I've been to, I've done it every single one.

398
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,120
I'm thinking, I'm just going to sit here and get the message and soak it up.

399
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:28,000
And God's like, mm-mm, I got work for you.

400
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:34,240
I feel so unprepared and overwhelmed with the scope with the, and I'm always, we're

401
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:35,960
on the same age of kids, right?

402
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:41,440
And right now I'm doing three to third to fifth grade and they're just their own people

403
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:46,240
and they have little clicks and I don't know how to do it.

404
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,840
And I don't feel like I'm good at it or anything, but they always come back.

405
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:49,840
They're always smiling.

406
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:50,840
They're always happy.

407
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:51,840
They're always excited to see me.

408
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,320
And I'm like, I'm doing something right.

409
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,840
Well, you're being obedient.

410
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:55,840
Yeah.

411
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,160
I begrudgingly because I prayed about it and I didn't like the answer.

412
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,120
So I prayed about it some more and he didn't change.

413
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:04,360
So I was like, well, this is it.

414
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:08,040
This reminds me of that one saying he doesn't call the qualified.

415
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,840
He qualifies the cult.

416
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,040
I'm still waiting for him to qualify me.

417
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,040
Yeah.

418
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,000
It's apparently a process.

419
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:20,200
If anyone ever asks you the way I learned, it's always the hard way.

420
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,560
I only learned the hard way.

421
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:22,560
Yeah.

422
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:23,560
You and me both.

423
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:28,720
And I mean, even to speak on that, like I felt unqualified to be here or I felt, I was

424
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:29,720
nervous.

425
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:30,720
I was anxious.

426
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:35,720
And the Holy Spirit just kept just telling me, just go.

427
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,480
Just go.

428
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,480
Trust the process.

429
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:39,480
Right.

430
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,560
And there's so many different examples of that in our lives.

431
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,360
You got to take that first step.

432
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:44,360
You don't want to do it.

433
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:45,360
Give it something to bless.

434
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:46,960
Jesus is pulling you along.

435
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:51,440
Now, I heard a story that you were going to start a podcast at one point.

436
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:52,440
True.

437
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,440
What happened?

438
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:54,720
Well, I tried to wear all the hats.

439
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,120
I tried to do it all by myself.

440
00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:57,160
I didn't ask for help.

441
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,160
I wanted to do it all.

442
00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,160
I wanted to record.

443
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:00,160
I wanted to edit.

444
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,960
I wanted to do the, I got cameras.

445
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:03,960
I got lights.

446
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,560
I set up a studio.

447
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:09,120
I shot a multi-camera, three cameras.

448
00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:10,640
I had it all set up.

449
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,200
And then the editing process just consumed me.

450
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:19,560
It took me out of the flow of setting up interviews and studying for interviews.

451
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,640
And that's like where I get like just excited.

452
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,760
I could do it for days in a row where I'm just in my zone of genius.

453
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,680
And I tried to just do everything by myself.

454
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:29,680
Didn't ask for help.

455
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,920
The whole teamwork makes the dream work.

456
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:32,920
Yeah.

457
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:33,920
We don't find any.

458
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:38,640
I find zero doing anything with the podcast except speaking.

459
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,040
And I don't want to know the metrics.

460
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,200
I go over the analytics each night and it's before bed.

461
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,360
And then I'm like, oh, and then I'll tell them the updates like, oh, we're in Africa

462
00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:47,360
now.

463
00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:48,360
And he's like, whatever.

464
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,360
Yeah.

465
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,760
I don't, I don't want to say I don't care, but I don't.

466
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:56,080
And it sounds so insensitive, but it's just not where my heart is.

467
00:23:56,080 --> 00:24:01,720
And so we have some, we outsource the editing to a guy in the Ukraine, in fact.

468
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,960
And so props to Dima.

469
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:10,280
And so I would recommend anybody that has the heart to do the part that I'm doing, but

470
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:17,200
zero efficiency care or anything for the surrounding bits to just get a team.

471
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,200
And you know, you're a very outspoken person.

472
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,280
So I think that you have friends.

473
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,960
And I'm sure one of your friends might want to help you, you know, just a little bit,

474
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:26,960
right?

475
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,600
And so they might learn a little bit more about God.

476
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:33,400
They might, they might transform their life in a way that didn't expect just by them being

477
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,240
in the room and helping, right?

478
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,320
And you can outsource your editing because that's super easy.

479
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:41,480
You just send them a file of sound and they send it back and it's super easy.

480
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,360
And I bet you could find one, love, do one for video so that the sound matches the video.

481
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:48,920
So it's not like people speaking in a foreign film and it's dubbed.

482
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:53,800
I was wondering about that part, but you know, the editor, you're not supposed to worry about

483
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,800
how it's all about the who.

484
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:59,880
Rearrange those letters from how and you spell you get who.

485
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:00,880
Yeah.

486
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,280
It's like, who do you know that can help with this part?

487
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,800
I don't know if you're aware, but I'm trying to encourage you to pick that up.

488
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,440
And I am so grateful.

489
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,160
And Ian and I have spoken about this for years.

490
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:14,680
And if you asked me for the last five years, if you could do any job in the world, what

491
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,160
world would you do?

492
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,880
It's always been podcaster.

493
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:22,160
For me, I've learned way more in the five years of listening to podcasts than I have

494
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,800
in school or anywhere else ever.

495
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:30,440
I think it's such a gift to be able to listen to people like you guys, to people, doctors,

496
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:35,200
anybody for free is like, what?

497
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,200
That's unheard of.

498
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,440
If you want to, you know, 15 years ago, you never would have believed it.

499
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,440
Yeah.

500
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:46,040
I've been listening to the Seek first CEO podcast with Heather Shriver Burns and she's

501
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,880
going to be a guest pretty soon.

502
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,160
So stay tuned for that.

503
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:54,160
But like all this information that she's giving in these weekly podcasts or, you know, however

504
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,840
often she puts it out, it's free.

505
00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:02,360
And it's like she's sharing all this knowledge that she's gained over the years, that she's

506
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:08,920
invested in her, you know, education and with her clients that she coaches, she's a coach.

507
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:14,040
And for free, I'm like, oh, what nugget can I get from her this week?

508
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,040
You know?

509
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,240
So I can totally appreciate that.

510
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:18,560
It's unbelievable.

511
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,800
And I think one of the reasons why I backed out from the podcast the first time around,

512
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:26,480
was I had omegs and one basket, I wanted it to be everything immediately instead of doing

513
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,800
it for the love of doing it.

514
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:34,360
The love of the game, the love of connection, the love of serving in any way.

515
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:39,960
I think if you approach it the same way you approach addiction coaching or recovery coaching,

516
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,880
knowing full well, it's like lifting weights.

517
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,400
You can't start with the biggest.

518
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,760
Don't expect to walk in the gym in a month looking ripped, right?

519
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:52,200
Sometimes it takes two years to get to a level that you like to see, that you want to see.

520
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,040
But it doesn't start unless you take that first step.

521
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:56,480
And you got to start small.

522
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,600
You can't start big because it's too much, right?

523
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:05,720
But if you start small, you develop the muscles, you develop the mental awareness, the muscle

524
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,640
memory to be able to do something without thinking about it.

525
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,800
And then it becomes a lot easier.

526
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:15,840
And so again, I want to encourage you to just to take those little steps because she's

527
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:16,840
the same way.

528
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:17,840
You're expecting these big results.

529
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,680
And like you took a neighbor, how long to have this son?

530
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:22,960
Like God laid this on your heart.

531
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,040
Well, guess what he laid on Abraham's heart, right?

532
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:29,440
And so like I don't expect this thing, but eventually what's going to happen is he's

533
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,840
going to take it and your metric is going to go whoop.

534
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:32,840
And then it's going to go whoop.

535
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:37,200
And it's just going to, it's going to take off like an airplane off an aircraft carrier.

536
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:41,560
She's going to jet up there, but it's a slow start at first and like a plane, an aircraft

537
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:42,560
carrier.

538
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:47,080
And it seems scary to take off because it's up and down in these 30 foot swells and, and

539
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,000
it's like pitching left and right.

540
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,440
Like, you'd be crazy to leave this.

541
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:52,440
This is secure.

542
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,000
This is, you know, it's a scary out there, but this is secure.

543
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,960
Like if I let go, what's it going to look like?

544
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:02,920
And so here we are at this position where you're at that, that you're in the cockpit, right?

545
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:04,720
You're, you know how to do it.

546
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:05,720
You know how to fly it.

547
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:06,720
You know how to do all this.

548
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,480
But your problem is you think you have to be the air traffic controller.

549
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:10,720
You have to be the guy on the ground.

550
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:11,960
You have to be the guy that launches you.

551
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,200
You've got to be the guy that fueled the plane, that checks the plane, right?

552
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,440
But you don't have, you just have to fly the plane, man.

553
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,200
That's all you got to do.

554
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,240
You can find a team to do all the other stuff for you.

555
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,240
Just fly the plane.

556
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,880
Uh, it won't go anywhere without you.

557
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:28,480
And Ian and I are planning on, if the, for those of you who haven't listened to the podcast

558
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:32,240
with Ian Reith, this man walks the walk and talks a talk.

559
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,600
He is on the outside of the podcast studio.

560
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:42,520
He is authentic and as loving and as professional as he is inside the podcast studio.

561
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,880
So I just urge you guys, if you haven't listened to the episode with Ian, go check that one

562
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:47,880
out right after this.

563
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:48,880
Yeah.

564
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,480
Ian's a quality person.

565
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:56,680
I've slowly started going to meetings with him and my wife instead of just him and her

566
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,040
going to like the, what is it?

567
00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,640
The coffee bean or you would have said place?

568
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:00,640
A Bella bean.

569
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:01,640
That's it.

570
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:02,640
That's it.

571
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:03,640
They're all the same to me.

572
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:04,640
He's like, what is this about?

573
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,160
What are you guys talking about?

574
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:12,120
Because I'll always get some nugget of information when I talk to him or Jen O'Donnell off golden

575
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,400
nuggets and I write it down.

576
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:18,680
And when I take action on those little nuggets that each of them give me, magical things

577
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:19,680
happen for sure.

578
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:20,680
Yeah.

579
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,080
So I'm a hundred percent in her corner, but it takes me a while to get interested in

580
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:24,240
what she's interested in.

581
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,120
So I'm slowly starting to get there.

582
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,520
It takes a little bit, you know, but again, it doesn't just happen.

583
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:30,880
I'm not taking these giant strides.

584
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:36,040
I'm just easing myself in and slowly coming up and he's like, this podcast isn't going

585
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,040
away.

586
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,920
No, she's definitely committed to it.

587
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:45,480
And I don't mind speaking and I don't mind sharing my experiences and my insights, my

588
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:46,560
encouragement.

589
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,120
You know, I'm not built to be a pastor.

590
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:53,280
I'm not built to be somebody that's supposed to speak to the masses.

591
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:57,600
And so this setting here, even though I'm speaking to the masses, I'm really just speaking

592
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:58,880
to you two.

593
00:29:58,880 --> 00:29:59,880
Right.

594
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:04,720
It's so much easier for me to give into the gifts that he has given me like encouragement.

595
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:08,920
It's easy for me to focus on the things when I hear someone hurting in their voice and

596
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:13,920
then they tell me and I have an easier time of figuring out the best way to encourage them.

597
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,680
And I don't know why exactly.

598
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:22,680
I have a suspicion, you know, the Holy Father, but I don't know do like why, why have that

599
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:23,680
inclination.

600
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,760
I clearly have gift for healing.

601
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,960
I've seen healing multiple times.

602
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:30,680
I appreciate that one.

603
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,400
And obviously it's always for the glory of God.

604
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:33,800
It's nothing that I do.

605
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:34,880
It's clearly him working through me.

606
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:35,880
I'm stunned every time.

607
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:36,880
Like stunned.

608
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:38,600
It's not like I expect it.

609
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,400
And it's an amazing thing to give into your gifts.

610
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:45,520
And I think Ian actually spoke to us about something he's working on and trying to figure

611
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,400
out the purpose for people and you figure out your gifts.

612
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:53,040
And that's another thing you could probably reach out to him about the purpose process.

613
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:54,040
Yeah.

614
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,240
And he can definitely help you out with that too, because I know that he's working with

615
00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:00,640
that and in a process with that and that could really help people out with the purpose

616
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:01,640
profit process.

617
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:02,640
Yeah.

618
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:03,640
And I've gone through it.

619
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:04,640
It's legit.

620
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,680
I mean, it's you're going through all the skeletons in your closet.

621
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:12,040
You're going through your whole past and he says your purpose is often, your purpose

622
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,800
often least clues in your life.

623
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:20,840
Some of the impactful moments that we've overcome, experienced and he will go through all these

624
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:25,720
impactful experiences and end up crafting a mission statement or a purpose statement.

625
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:31,960
And mine was to create a brighter and more connected future.

626
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:36,520
There's something about the thought of when you go out into the world and a lot of people

627
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:40,640
are just pessimistic about the state of the world.

628
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,840
There's some shit going on.

629
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:50,440
But at the end of the day, I tried to stay informed, but I seek out content that is of

630
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:54,000
her like people doing heroic things, random acts of kindness.

631
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:58,800
I'm filled with this kind of content where the world that I see in the world that other

632
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:00,000
people see are different.

633
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,480
A lot of people will go to what's wrong with the world.

634
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,400
There's a lot of things, but we're still here.

635
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:07,600
We're still coexisting.

636
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,160
There's still people coming to Christ.

637
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:13,800
There's still people that I think Christianity is spreading like wildfire right now.

638
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:17,480
That's just the world that I choose to live in.

639
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,000
And I believe that at my core.

640
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:25,480
Yeah, so I feel that the world is definitely in a bad state and I don't by any means think

641
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,760
it's the end all of times.

642
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,960
But I do believe it's on the way.

643
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:35,440
I do believe that it's the beginnings of the labor pains and like labor, your contractions

644
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,160
are going to get closer and closer and closer.

645
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,680
But I don't have any idea how many years that's going to take.

646
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:41,840
When people are like, oh, this is it.

647
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:46,200
I'm like, I don't think you understand like the calamity of which John wrote about.

648
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:51,200
I don't think you really understand the magnitude of how bad it's going to get.

649
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,160
This is I can still go get a donut after this.

650
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,680
I can still go get coffee at a foot.

651
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,080
I can still go and put gas in my car.

652
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,080
You guys don't understand.

653
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,800
I still have food for my family.

654
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:04,200
You guys do not understand how bad it's going to get.

655
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:05,680
So I don't focus on that.

656
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:06,960
I try not to focus on it.

657
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,360
I do see it's bad.

658
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:12,320
I just try to be not a reason to add to the bad.

659
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:16,720
And that is that's I don't I don't try to like build up people like this guy's so great.

660
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:17,720
Look at him doing this.

661
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,080
I don't even look at that.

662
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,000
I just have to be the best person that God made me to be.

663
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,880
And I try not to add to somebody's strife in this world.

664
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:30,400
And if I hold the door open for somebody or if I give them a couple of dollars for a drink

665
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,000
while we're standing in line, they throw out their wallet.

666
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,200
You know, I don't.

667
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,200
What is that?

668
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:35,440
That's nothing, right?

669
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,520
But it's another way of them thinking that they're not alone.

670
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:44,120
And I think that's ultimately how we're to treat people, not just with love, but, you

671
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,000
know, we're built for relationship.

672
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,400
And if someone feels alone, then I'm failing.

673
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:49,400
Right.

674
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,680
And if I'm walking into somebody and again, I told you, I'm really good at reading facial

675
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,840
cues and someone might have like something going on.

676
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,840
I'll always ask, always ask, is there something wrong?

677
00:33:58,840 --> 00:33:59,920
Are you okay?

678
00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:04,680
And most of the time they don't know up and I'll just press them because I like, no, there's

679
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,440
something like you're not hiding that from me.

680
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,200
And she knows I'm good at that.

681
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:14,560
I'm curious with you, Josh, is this something that's been cultivated or is this something

682
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:18,680
because you've mentioned the importance of relationships a couple of times.

683
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:23,960
I'm curious if you, if this is new that came with your faith or if this is something that

684
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,640
you feel like has been with you for.

685
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,080
No, this is definitely something that came with my faith.

686
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,840
This is not one before this.

687
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:36,760
I don't even have any friends really because of object permanence that ADHD years have is

688
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,800
if I don't look at something, I forget it.

689
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,560
So I don't call people.

690
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:41,960
I don't ever reach out.

691
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,280
So you have to be the bigger person and call me every time.

692
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:46,280
Right.

693
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:47,280
It doesn't mean I don't want to hang out.

694
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:48,280
It doesn't mean I don't think about you.

695
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,640
It just means I'll think about you at inappropriate times like two o'clock in the morning when

696
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,280
I'm hauling somebody out of their house and putting them on my back for being able to

697
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,040
say, I wonder what Collins did today.

698
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:57,040
Right.

699
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:58,040
Let's stop the time to call.

700
00:34:58,040 --> 00:34:59,040
Right.

701
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:03,600
And I always think about people when it's not the time to call and so I never call people

702
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:07,040
and I've had things, well, your fingers aren't broken.

703
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:08,040
I'm like, no, they're not.

704
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,240
But my mind is like, and you know this, you should know.

705
00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:13,000
I don't mean any offense.

706
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,480
I love you and I want the best for you.

707
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:19,800
But the relationship cultivating really hasn't developed for me until the last couple of

708
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:20,800
years.

709
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:24,800
It wasn't even as I became a Christian just lately.

710
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,680
It's been on my heart and I don't know.

711
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,720
I think this church helps a lot though.

712
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:29,720
Maybe.

713
00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:30,720
Maybe.

714
00:35:30,720 --> 00:35:35,160
But I don't think about what the root cause is and it could very well be that the men

715
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:36,320
activities at this church.

716
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:41,080
You could be one of our guests that today is going to be Randy and he's the leader of

717
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:46,400
men's activities at this church and he really opened up his arms to me and accepted me into

718
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,400
a lot of places.

719
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:48,400
I'm not even a member of this church, right?

720
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,400
My wife is, but I'm not.

721
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:54,240
I mentioned that they actually had me speak at one of the men's breakfasts and I mentioned

722
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:58,600
that at the end of it about how they were, you know, Christ to me and accepting of me

723
00:35:58,600 --> 00:35:59,600
and opening up.

724
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:01,480
I don't even belong here, right?

725
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,720
And they're like admonishing me immediately like, no, we don't care.

726
00:36:04,720 --> 00:36:06,440
We don't care about any of that.

727
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,280
None of that matters to us, right?

728
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:12,080
And I was just using it for a statement and they wouldn't even let me do that.

729
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,960
And so maybe this place is responsible for that.

730
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:15,960
I don't know.

731
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:16,960
I've never really given it deep thought.

732
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:23,160
I always considered maybe that because of the way I am that its relationships are hard

733
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,160
for me.

734
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:29,080
And so by focusing on them, maybe I'll be better at it.

735
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,520
But I've always been really good at hating people.

736
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:34,680
And before I was a Christian, I could read somebody and know that they're upset and I

737
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:35,960
would just make it worse, right?

738
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:39,520
Because I'm inherently a mean, nasty person.

739
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,640
I am an angry person.

740
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,520
I take joy in hurting people, right?

741
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,440
And you can see I'm laughing.

742
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:47,440
I'm dead serious.

743
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:50,040
I am a horrible human being.

744
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:55,040
And if it wasn't for the prevenient grace of God, if it wasn't for the love of Jesus

745
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,760
that flows in and through me, I would beat up.

746
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,200
If I lived in a flesh, if I just said, you know what?

747
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:01,200
I'm done.

748
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:02,200
I'm going to live in a flesh now.

749
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,240
I would be that same mean person immediately.

750
00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:05,680
It is only by the grace of God.

751
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:10,080
It is only by the love of Jesus that I can smile at people, that I can be grateful to

752
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,400
people, that I care if someone is hurting.

753
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:13,880
Like, what is this about?

754
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,040
Like, I'm not pushing my thumb on them.

755
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,720
Like, what is this about?

756
00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:23,480
You know, I grew up with abuse of alcoholic mom and my dad was hardly ever around because

757
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:24,760
he worked.

758
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:25,880
Not because he didn't want to be there.

759
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,000
He wasn't like dad's father by choice.

760
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,480
He just worked a lot of hours.

761
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,280
And there was no structure.

762
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,920
And I had discipline because, you know, I got my stepmom and she would whip my cookies

763
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:38,800
and he'd come home from work and he'd whip my cookies.

764
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,840
I'm thinking, I'm paying like three times for one mistake.

765
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,800
And because I have ADHD, I'd forget.

766
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:46,000
And so I would do it again.

767
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,400
And I would get it again the next day.

768
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:48,480
And they're like, won't you ever learn?

769
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,680
I'm thinking maybe not.

770
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,320
I don't think I can.

771
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:54,680
And it was a struggle for me.

772
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:58,360
And so I've got really good at reading faces and patterns on people.

773
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,320
I could tell when people are upset with me.

774
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:04,280
And then I came to a point in my life where I just stopped caring if people are mad at

775
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:05,880
me or didn't accept me.

776
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:12,040
And that's a great place for to be because then nothing bothers you, right?

777
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:16,040
And you know, you were talking about finding superpowers and trauma and be grateful.

778
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,720
I'm grateful that I have a sense of humor that's born out of this.

779
00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:22,360
I'm grateful that I don't care what people think of me.

780
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:23,360
Right?

781
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:24,360
I don't care.

782
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:25,360
You know, you like me.

783
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:26,360
You don't like me.

784
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:27,360
I don't care.

785
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:28,360
My day is going to go on with or without you.

786
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:29,360
I'm going to have the joy.

787
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:33,360
I can't control the happiness of other people, but I can control how weird their day is going

788
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:34,360
to be.

789
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:35,360
And I love to make jokes.

790
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:36,360
I love to poke fun.

791
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,960
And I like that, you know, innocent, you know, if I see it hurt your feelings, I'll immediately

792
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:40,960
apologize.

793
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:41,960
Right?

794
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:47,280
And that's something that Jesus gave me because before I'd be like, got you.

795
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,120
And I'm just very grateful for the love of God in my life.

796
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:54,600
I'm very grateful that He has transformed me through trauma that I had growing up.

797
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,760
And I'm so grateful that I do what I do now.

798
00:38:56,760 --> 00:39:00,960
I'm so grateful that even though some days I hate, I hate being an empty sometimes.

799
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:01,960
Yeah.

800
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:02,960
When it's snowing.

801
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:03,960
No, not just that.

802
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,640
You know, it's you get calls that you don't want to be on, right?

803
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,120
You know, anything involving kids.

804
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,160
I don't want that.

805
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,240
And or people that you go there and it's a DOA, right?

806
00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:14,240
And they go, that's easy.

807
00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:17,760
You don't have to do anything except the whole family's there crying and you're like, oh,

808
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,360
man, everyone's so hurt right now.

809
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,440
And it's so sensitive.

810
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,600
It's like walking into a bruise.

811
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,760
And it's it's the best way I can explain it.

812
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:30,440
It's, you know, it's a very tender place to be like the air is thick with sadness.

813
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:31,440
You can feel it.

814
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:32,440
It's palpable.

815
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:33,440
Right?

816
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,680
And it's just a different experience.

817
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:40,760
I never feel for the patients as much as I feel for the family, for most of the things.

818
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:44,200
And once in a while, I get impressed to talk to these people on the back of the ambulance

819
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:48,480
and we'll talk about Jesus and I'll pray for them and and, you know, I believe that God

820
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,720
has really directed me into this path.

821
00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:56,080
And I wonder how long he's directed me that I was just not obedient because I forget,

822
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:59,720
you know, I was like, oh, man, Jesus, is this something you wanted me to do like two years

823
00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:02,200
ago or like seven years ago?

824
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,720
Like, I'm doing it now.

825
00:40:04,720 --> 00:40:05,720
But you got it.

826
00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:06,720
Yeah.

827
00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:07,720
Yeah.

828
00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:08,720
No, like I said, I learned things the hard way.

829
00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:10,720
It's just the hard way.

830
00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:11,960
Yeah, Josh, I share that.

831
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,000
I share that for sure.

832
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,320
And I will say you two make an incredible team.

833
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,640
I can't imagine you either one of you doing this without each other.

834
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:24,280
It's like such a power couple relationship here.

835
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:30,080
And so I'm grateful that Shelly is on the one side, the analytics and the mastermind.

836
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:36,920
And I'm grateful that Josh is here to speak the speak the truth and to put his heart out

837
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:39,320
there and just leave it out there.

838
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:44,600
And I feel like the guests can pick up on your authenticity, your transparency, you'll

839
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:51,480
go any which way because I feel like people who have overcome such like triumph, right?

840
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:55,400
Like what I'm hearing in your story, there's a good quote that that I wanted to share about

841
00:40:55,400 --> 00:41:02,840
that is anyway, the quote is it goes along the lines of for those who sorrow and roots

842
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:10,360
run as deep, it allows them to unlock a deeper level of joy or appreciation.

843
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,680
It's like the deeper the roots go, the higher the praise can go.

844
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,240
And that resonates, man.

845
00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:19,800
And that's another reason for me why I'm so grateful for the upbringing that we that

846
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,080
I had that we had.

847
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:26,040
It's like, sure, I wouldn't want to go back and do it again, but I'm also so grateful

848
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,960
because I'm able to experience such joy, such contentment, right?

849
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:36,760
For, oh, I got food to food to eat, water to drink like every day now is grace.

850
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,160
Every day is just gravy.

851
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,040
I'm just grateful to be alive.

852
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:47,400
I'm grateful to be transformed in a brand new relationship with Jesus and it's so every

853
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,880
day is it's just a blessing.

854
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:51,880
Not easy.

855
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:52,880
Not every day is easy.

856
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:53,880
Oh my goodness.

857
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:55,520
No, but it's a freaking blessing.

858
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,440
If it was easy, we wouldn't need Jesus.

859
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:58,440
Right.

860
00:41:58,440 --> 00:41:59,440
True.

861
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,880
If it was easy, anybody could do it and it would be really hard to say, hey, go make

862
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:07,360
disciples of all nations, but Lord, everyone's content and happy and joyful and nobody cares.

863
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:08,360
Right.

864
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:11,160
They're like, they don't believe in you because their life is going great.

865
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:12,440
And that's not how it works.

866
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:13,800
This world is hard.

867
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:16,160
You know, kids do get sick.

868
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,560
It's not God's fault that happens.

869
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:19,560
It's our fault.

870
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,160
We're the ones that progressed the way we did.

871
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,080
We're the ones that let ourselves go so far.

872
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:27,120
We use carcinogens in almost everything we do and in the air and in the water.

873
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:28,520
And then we're like, well, God did this.

874
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,880
Like we blame him for everything, but we never give him credit for all the great things.

875
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:32,880
Like what a beautiful place.

876
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:33,880
God made this.

877
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:37,040
Leave that out of God did this to like, what are you thinking?

878
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:44,440
Oh man, I'd love to stick up for him, which is funny because he doesn't need me at all.

879
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:45,440
Yeah.

880
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:47,200
But he's using you.

881
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:48,200
Absolutely.

882
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,720
No, that's this part of how I worship.

883
00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:51,080
I'm not a good singer.

884
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:54,440
My wife knows this and I could barely keep rhythm.

885
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:55,440
I might have no rhythm.

886
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:56,440
I can't even play basketball.

887
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:57,440
I have zero rhythm.

888
00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:01,640
And so I can't even sing and clap at the same time without having a problem.

889
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:03,840
And I still, you know, I get my joyful noise.

890
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,320
You know, I get like a goose honking of joy.

891
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:11,080
And I know a lot of people, a lot of people think of worshiping Jesus with song and that's

892
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,480
not, you know, that's not it.

893
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,600
That's like a, that's a fraction of what it is.

894
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,760
You know, being obedient is worshiping him.

895
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:22,600
Living your life as a living sacrifice to God is worship.

896
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:26,120
Standing up for God when someone is wrong, not because you're mad at the person, but

897
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,400
because you want to correct them and let them know who God really is.

898
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:30,400
That's worshiping God.

899
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:31,400
Right.

900
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:36,320
And so I worship in my ways and, and he created me through my trauma, through my life to be

901
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:38,920
a very confrontational person.

902
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:42,880
If I'm not being confrontational to somebody who needs it, that's because I'm, something

903
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:44,040
is staying my hand.

904
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,040
Right.

905
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,040
Jesus is telling me don't.

906
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:49,120
But for the most part, I'm like, oh, no, no, no.

907
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:50,120
Right.

908
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:56,080
And I have no intent of trying to hurt people's feelings when I engage in conversation.

909
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,440
It's really just to say you're not correct.

910
00:43:58,440 --> 00:43:59,440
Right.

911
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,120
That's not, you're, you're interpreting it wrong.

912
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:05,800
Somebody who claimed that Jesus was his Lord said something or did something to you to

913
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,760
make you feel that this is who God is.

914
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,720
That this is the character of Jesus and, and they were wrong.

915
00:44:11,720 --> 00:44:12,720
Right.

916
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:13,720
We're people.

917
00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:14,720
We're fallible.

918
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:18,440
And part of the, the, the great commission is the part we don't realize is that it's

919
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:23,400
not just that we're told to tell people and make disciples, but we represent the very

920
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,640
image of God Almighty.

921
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,920
And that is a huge and awesome way.

922
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:28,920
Right.

923
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:29,920
We're diplomats.

924
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,920
We're ambassadors for God.

925
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,720
So what we do reflects on him poorly or well.

926
00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:39,000
And so when we treat people like, so you can't come to heaven or you can't do that because

927
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:43,600
you're a sinner because you've got a sexual sin that nobody likes.

928
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,120
Find someone who doesn't.

929
00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:46,120
Right.

930
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,080
And that's not what God calls us to do.

931
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:53,040
If God wouldn't talk to me until I clean my stuff up, I'd be that Josh I talked about

932
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,240
before because he would never come to me.

933
00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:57,640
I would never clean my stuff up willingly.

934
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,080
And if I, if I did want to do it, I couldn't.

935
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:01,080
Right.

936
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:02,560
I cannot do it without him.

937
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:07,200
I still struggle in many areas, especially if I get mad.

938
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:08,600
Like I've worked 24 hours shift.

939
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:12,480
So I come off 24 hours shift and I'm real testy then I'm introverted.

940
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,040
I need time alone.

941
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,400
And my son's like, dad, dad, he's, he's cyber school dad, dad, dad.

942
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:18,400
I'm like, what?

943
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:19,400
Right.

944
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,080
He doesn't have anyone to talk to besides us.

945
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,080
Right.

946
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,160
And so I'm losing my mind and I'll go out in traffic and someone will pull out in front

947
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:30,720
of me and I'll say things that are very unchristian like, and you know, if I'm by myself, I'm able

948
00:45:30,720 --> 00:45:36,880
to correct myself and I'll pray that the people in front of me aren't going to have an experience

949
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:42,120
for us through the day that makes them angry, that makes them sad, that makes them upset

950
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:43,560
because of something I did.

951
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:44,560
Right.

952
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:45,560
I pray that their day is better.

953
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:47,760
And I don't, I don't just pray for forgiveness.

954
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:49,720
I go, Lord, forgive me and everything's all fine.

955
00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:52,320
I'm like, man, I pray that it did not hurt them.

956
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:53,320
Right.

957
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:57,680
And I think that's the heart we need to come to is when we have these relationships with

958
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:02,240
other people across the planet, because we're built for a relationship, that we need to

959
00:46:02,240 --> 00:46:07,840
take in consideration that that person who did that while insensitive to your needs may

960
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,200
have something going on that you don't know about.

961
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,040
Maybe their dog just died.

962
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,240
Maybe their sister just went to the hospital for Eclampsia.

963
00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:16,240
Right.

964
00:46:16,240 --> 00:46:17,240
Who knows.

965
00:46:17,240 --> 00:46:18,240
Yeah.

966
00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:19,240
Right.

967
00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:20,240
And so they may not be thinking about you.

968
00:46:20,240 --> 00:46:23,240
Oh, they may just got fired or they may just be going out to get milk and they're like,

969
00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,280
oh, I forgot to get in this left lane.

970
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:26,280
We have no idea.

971
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,120
We have no way of knowing without knowing that person.

972
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:32,280
And yet we're so quick to fire off, not even judgment, but execution.

973
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:33,280
Right.

974
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:34,280
We don't even judge them.

975
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,080
We just execute whatever verdict we want on them.

976
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:38,480
You're guilty, guilty, guilty.

977
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:41,880
Like, I didn't even weigh it and I'm just letting it off.

978
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:44,440
I'm like, all right, Lord, well, that's just me being dumb.

979
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:48,320
There's always more to the story than we could see that we can even comprehend.

980
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:55,520
We always try to put things into a label when that's a great reminder is to say, I don't

981
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:56,520
know.

982
00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:57,720
It's like, I know nothing.

983
00:46:57,720 --> 00:47:01,000
This person could be rushing to the hospital to save their loved ones.

984
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,040
And that's something that I try to remind myself time and time again.

985
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:06,760
There's always somebody who's doing something wrong in our world.

986
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:07,760
It's usually me.

987
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:08,760
Yeah.

988
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:09,760
It's usually Josh.

989
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,480
There's always somebody effing stuff up.

990
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:15,040
Like that's where the invitation for acceptance comes.

991
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:18,280
You're not going to go outside, look at the sky and be like, I think the sun's

992
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:19,280
supposed to be over there.

993
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:20,280
Right.

994
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:21,600
Nobody's going to say that.

995
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:24,080
But humans are of God and of nature.

996
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:30,160
And so, but all the time people go out and say, I think that person should be doing this.

997
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:31,160
It's nonsensical.

998
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:33,520
I know what's best for other people and they should just listen.

999
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:34,520
Yeah.

1000
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:37,920
Especially if I didn't even say it, they should just know what's on my heart and mind to

1001
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:39,800
not do those things.

1002
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,600
And I get frustrated when they don't, you know.

1003
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:43,600
Right.

1004
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:46,160
Does that sound insane to anybody else?

1005
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:47,320
We all do it.

1006
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:48,640
We all do it.

1007
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:51,480
It's a process to work into a place of acceptance.

1008
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:55,160
And Shelly, what was the quote again about qualifying?

1009
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:56,960
God doesn't call the qualified.

1010
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:58,640
He qualifies the called.

1011
00:47:58,640 --> 00:47:59,640
That's so good.

1012
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:00,640
That gives me chills.

1013
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:06,080
And it reminds me of just all of our journeys of stepping out, being obedient.

1014
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:09,880
I don't want to do this, but God's calling me to do it.

1015
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:10,880
Step in.

1016
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:14,720
Obedience comes with full and total submission.

1017
00:48:14,720 --> 00:48:18,360
And I used to pray and I know Shelly, what was this?

1018
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,960
Because I think the first time I prayed it was at the last church where it was a simple

1019
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,480
way as a Sabbath church.

1020
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,000
And I prayed out loud everywhere.

1021
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,760
It's like, I pray that God would kill me.

1022
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:28,080
And they were like, stun.

1023
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:32,280
It's like, not like physically, but kill the part of me that wants to be disobeyed.

1024
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,640
Kill the part of me that wants to do what it wants to do to kill the part of me that

1025
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:37,720
is not in alignment with his will.

1026
00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:38,720
Right.

1027
00:48:38,720 --> 00:48:40,160
Because that's what we should all pray.

1028
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,360
Like, God, please kill me.

1029
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:43,360
Take away this.

1030
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,960
And I know that you're gentle and I know you're going to prune it and make it so that it reaps

1031
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:48,800
a good harvest and such.

1032
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,080
And eventually you'll have that.

1033
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:52,800
But like, I'm cool with it.

1034
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:53,800
Like hurt me.

1035
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,040
Like make it hurt.

1036
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:56,720
Take this away from me.

1037
00:48:56,720 --> 00:48:58,320
And if I cry about it, then great.

1038
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:02,240
Then give me the moment to cry about it like a baby and then let me come back and worship

1039
00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:04,560
you because I'm going to come back.

1040
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,080
I remember hard times where I would praise him.

1041
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:11,080
When I first became a Christian, I went through a struggle, like a big struggle.

1042
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,760
And I remember saying, like, you know what, I remember Joe praised you and I didn't know

1043
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,840
much about the Bible then.

1044
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:19,000
I didn't even understand why Jesus had to die for us when I first came.

1045
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:20,600
I just understood that he did.

1046
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:21,600
Right.

1047
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,400
And I said, I just, I know we're supposed to do this.

1048
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:26,280
So praise you God.

1049
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:28,160
And I don't know why I'm praising you.

1050
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:30,320
And boy, did everything changed for me.

1051
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:34,000
Even something as simple as I didn't understand and it changed for me.

1052
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,600
Throughout this whole conversation, I've been thinking about Job a lot.

1053
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:44,240
Like, it does remind me of praising him for the good, praising him during the bad.

1054
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:51,800
And if we're able to do that, then there's always just a lesson to be learned, grace

1055
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:54,720
to be received, grace for the 24.

1056
00:49:54,720 --> 00:50:02,920
And so I think throughout this message, we've got to this point of trusting God.

1057
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,840
And I think I've learned and taken a lot from this conversation.

1058
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:11,880
I've hope I've been able to give something and serve during this conversation because

1059
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:13,520
I know that it's impacted me.

1060
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:16,040
And so I thank you.

1061
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:17,040
Thank you for coming.

1062
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:18,520
And I look forward to hearing your podcast.

1063
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:19,520
It's going to be great.

1064
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:20,520
Will you guys come on?

1065
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:21,520
Absolutely.

1066
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:22,520
No.

1067
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:23,520
More than once.

1068
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:24,520
Yeah, please.

1069
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:26,640
One of the cool things I learned about the 12 steps.

1070
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:31,240
So for anybody out there who's suffering with addiction or suffering with any form of

1071
00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:32,240
addiction.

1072
00:50:32,240 --> 00:50:35,560
There's so many amazing groups out there.

1073
00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:38,600
There's people meeting all the time all around the world.

1074
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:43,800
Somebody told me that the 10 steps or the 10 commandments are what not to do to live

1075
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:44,800
a Christian life.

1076
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:49,040
And the 12 steps are what to do to live a Christian life.

1077
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:51,920
So the 12 steps are applicable for anybody.

1078
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:57,200
It's a beautiful, progressive thing to go through with another Christian, another believer.

1079
00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,960
And they have personally transformed my life.

1080
00:50:59,960 --> 00:51:03,240
I don't know if you've ever looked into them or done them, but it's just a plug for anybody

1081
00:51:03,240 --> 00:51:04,920
out there suffering with addiction.

1082
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:07,120
There's so much free help out there.

1083
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:12,720
There's so many willing people that have walked the path that you're walking now and

1084
00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:14,200
that there's a better way.

1085
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,640
And you don't have to do it by yourself.

1086
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:17,640
That's key.

1087
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,280
That's key is that you're not alone.

1088
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:24,920
There's tons of willing souls out there who will take your hand just like Jesus would

1089
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:27,000
and they'll walk you through.

1090
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,840
They'll walk you through for free.

1091
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:34,680
Yep, their support groups and Facebook, even if you can't get out to an actual group in

1092
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:36,760
person, they're out there.

1093
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:37,760
100%.

1094
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,240
So thank you so much for coming on.

1095
00:51:40,240 --> 00:51:42,280
Thank you, listener, for listening.

1096
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:47,000
And with that, we'd like to say that if you'd like to come alongside us in this journey,

1097
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:53,560
we have a fundraising campaign that helps us with this audio editing cost.

1098
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:56,840
And if you'd like to help us with that, you go to givesango.com.

1099
00:51:56,840 --> 00:52:00,840
Look up God's goodness podcast and then you can make your donation there.

1100
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:28,840
And with that, we'll talk to you next time.