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Hi and welcome to the In the Cortex podcast.

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We are your hosts.

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I'm Paloma Garcia.

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And I am Dani Paraconi.

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And we're the founders of In the Cortex, an online community with programs that show people

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the tools that they need to change their lives through brain reorganization.

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No medication, just movement.

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When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start

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to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex.

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Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life.

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And now on to today's episode.

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Hi, everybody.

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Welcome back to the podcast.

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Today we're talking about something that I think lots of people will resonate with.

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We hope everybody resonates with everything that we talk about, right?

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But honestly, so.

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Getting to the root of our challenges.

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A lot of us understand what our challenges are.

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We might spend a lot of time analyzing them and kind of looking into them and, okay, well,

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this is, I have a difficulty with this or I have a pattern where I do this.

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But getting to the root is not that simple.

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It takes a lot of work.

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It takes a lot of help sometimes.

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And so that's kind of where we wanted to go into that today.

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And that piece of In the Cortex that I think people don't always know about until they

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join the program.

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They're like, oh, cool, like, I didn't know we were going to go into that side of things.

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And so I think that's something that always or often surprises our members in a good way.

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Totally.

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And the number one thing, like when we're finding a challenge or finding the root to

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the challenge, it's all about, you know, it's so many layers.

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And so it's creating the awareness to understand where does this stem from.

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So we're going to break down, is it brain related?

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Is it learned slash coming from your subconscious?

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Are you being triggered?

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Are you being activated?

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So we're going to explain all these different concepts and help you understand how we approach

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it through ITC to make it make sense.

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So let's start with the first part of when you have a challenge and we'll, you know,

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just everyday challenges.

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We always share this in the cortex with you, but we like to repeat ourselves.

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So it really hammers in home for you.

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The pawns is the part of the brain that develops from zero to five months of life.

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And that is when a baby is on their belly and they're doing a movement called creeping.

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The way that you move at that time frame will set up the pawns, which is a part of the brain

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that's in charge of so many automatic responses that we want it to be developed.

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So that way, when a stressor comes at you, when you're older, you can just be able to

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respond to whatever the stressor is in a very realistic way.

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So for example, if your mom tells you to put on your shoes, having a meltdown would be

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a sign that that part of the brain didn't get enough of its development and you're responding

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from a fight or a flight or a freeze or a fawn response.

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So that's the part of the brain that's in charge of those four different responses.

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And as an adult, if somebody, you know, you get called into your boss's office and you

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be like, oh my God, and you go into that fight, flight, freeze when really they're just like,

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hey, I really like that briefcase.

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Where'd you get it?

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Yeah, you're up to be the worst case scenario.

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A hundred percent.

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And so those are the people who catastrophize.

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So if that sounds like you, that is related to that part of the brain.

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And then once you hit six months of age, generally speaking, it's not exactly at six months,

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it's between like six to nine months of age, you should start getting up onto your hands

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and knees, which is going to propel you into crawling and crawling.

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It should be done for about six months.

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Again, general timeframe here, and when you crawl, you're developing the midbrain.

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And the midbrain that is in charge of a bunch of other automatic functions.

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And we like to call it like the filter of the brain.

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So it's the part of the brain that helps you filter out things that are not important.

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It helps you stay focused on a task.

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It helps you start a project, finish a project.

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And in a kid, it looks like the kid who's constantly moving and can't sit still.

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And people go, oh, your child has such a hyperactive tendency.

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Or we say, well, let's look at what the midbrains up to because if it didn't get enough of

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crawling, it shows up later in life.

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Adults are usually the ones who the classic midbrain that is underdeveloped in an adult,

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teenager, adult, whatever, is the person who starts a project and gets super gung ho about

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it and then doesn't finish it.

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Or they just are like never on time or they're constantly overwhelmed and overstimulated

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by sounds and things that are happening.

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Yes.

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That's it.

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So we've got the pongs, the midbrain.

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And then within that first year of life, we also have primitive reflexes that are also

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playing a major role.

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And they start a utero.

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So they're literally designed to get the baby into position to come out into the world and

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survive for that first year of life because you can't walk, you can't talk, you can't

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do a whole lot.

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So you have these automatic instinctual movements that keep you alive.

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So that way, if something comes at you, you know to cry, you know to turn a certain way

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to protect yourself, you know to turn your head, all those things.

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Those are all important things that need to be happening on this great little symphony

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in the first year of life.

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And ideally in a world where we don't have toxins or baby apparatuses or you know certain

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stressors hitting us, everything develops how it's intended to.

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But in today's world, that's not the case.

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So things are getting interrupted.

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So the first thing we always look at is that a brain related challenge.

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So we've already kind of shared for you, shared with you some brain related challenges like

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you know putting on shoes or getting called into your boss's office, starting a project,

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not being able to finish it.

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But there's also other things.

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And let's talk about like one specific brain one that like a lot of people really resonate

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with which is the moral reflex.

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And this one is like near and dear to my heart.

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Yes.

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And also yours a little bit just differently.

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But mine would show up.

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So I would have the moral reflex.

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It was still on.

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So by the time I was in my 20s, I would always be the person who if someone said something

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to me, it would trigger my moral reflex to go into a survival response.

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And it looked like for me just turning like flushing red, like my body was like, okay,

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lots of blood needs to start flowing to your body to survive.

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The adrenaline, the cortisol would start shooting through me.

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And then I would also start snapping back at people and wanting to pick fights.

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I would take everything so personal.

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I would be like, did you just call me that?

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Like, they're like, no, I asked if you wanted a salad for lunch, you know, like simple things

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like that.

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Or if someone cut me off while I was driving, it was like, oh, it's go time.

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I'm going to fight back and I'm going to race them to the next red light.

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When I played hockey in college, I was just a maniac.

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I was like literally inflicting pain on people because I thought that's what you needed to

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do.

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And it was just not rational.

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There was just such a primitive response to the stimuli coming at me.

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So other things, so that was mine.

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The moral reflex was really on.

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And so that's where we can immediately go, okay, Dani, you need to go do exploding rocks.

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And then that would integrate that reflex to lie dormant so that way it wouldn't be

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turning on every second to think I needed to survive.

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And that would be my first like, look at that.

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And is that going to get to the root of why you're experiencing X, Y, and Z?

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So can you have an example of something you experienced often?

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Road rage was like my number one thing.

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And I honestly just thought that was normal.

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And I guess like you don't really know what other people experience because you can only

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experience yourself.

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And so you kind of thought everybody had it until you're like, gosh, can you believe how

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these people are driving?

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And people start like looking at you being like, what's the big deal?

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Like what's your problem?

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And today I see other people start doing it.

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And I just like sit quietly in the car and I'm like, say a little prayer, like keep us

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alive.

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And it's like, it's not a big deal.

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And a lot of people will start commenting on other people's driving and stuff like that.

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And so you can see it in other people.

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But that was my main thing, like the moral reflex.

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And it was exhausting because it was constantly turning on.

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And the cortisol that went through my body was aging me, literally aging me.

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Because it's a stress hormone.

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And I would get home at night, my head would hit the pillow and I would just pass out immediately

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because of the amount of adrenal fatigue I went through.

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And that's a really important thing.

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So a lot of people who are carrying around stress and every time they say, oh, I'm so

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stressed, I'm like, what's your moral reflex up to?

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Because that is the thing that's pumping a lot of cortisol into your body unnecessarily.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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You're going into fight or flight when you shouldn't be.

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And I think that that's one huge piece that we see with people is, OK, that's the number

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one thing, the brain.

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Where is your brain?

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So if you have this, for example, you're experiencing road rage and some explosive reactions, let's

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look at the pons, let's look at the moro, and let's look at the fear paralysis.

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Sometimes it depends on which person we're talking about.

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If you're more of going into this rage mode, not that much.

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But that's where we look at, OK, where's your creep?

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How developed are you?

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What's your percentage?

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Usually people who have a tendency to go into this raging moment have pretty low development

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there, which is a good thing.

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We don't say it as we don't never say something's good or bad, actually.

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But I know that if I tell you, OK, you're a 10% development, most people are like, what?

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And all that that means is that there's a lot of room to grow and that your brain has

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been working so much harder than it needs to.

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And that's why you're experiencing this.

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That's why you're going into the fight or flight.

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And it's because your brain doesn't understand how to connect.

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Your primitive brain doesn't understand how to connect with your logical brain and say,

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oh, that's just somebody who is getting in front of me on the road.

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It's not personal.

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They're not trying to cut me off and make me late to this place that I'm probably already

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going late to.

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That's why I'm getting so mad.

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And so that's that piece that's missing.

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And so then on top of that, if you have a retained primitive reflex like the moro, that's

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also putting you in that survival mode.

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So ultimately, what it all means is your brain is in survival mode.

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And that's where this challenge, this behavior is coming from.

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Right.

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The next piece we like to look at is the learned behavior and the subconscious.

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Right.

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They kind of go hand in hand.

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And so what do we mean by that, Danny, when we're talking about that piece?

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Well, it's interesting because the brain related part is always the thing that starts it.

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So for example, I was somebody who was quick to react.

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I was what we would call Ponzi, right?

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Because I also had low development in my pawns.

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I was very like what we would call a straight pole.

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Like my brain had no idea how to move in that that zero to five months of life.

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And it turns out it's because we had wall to wall carpentry and I was in a baby walker,

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an animal brother.

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So, you know, I had all stacked against me there.

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And I had parents that modeled a lot of pawns behaviors, too.

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So anyways, that's where I got a lot of that stuff.

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But once I started having that constant reaction of fight, flight, freeze, fawn, it then became

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a belief within me that I was that person.

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So for example, like being the person who's super aggressive on the field hockey field

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made me think that I was just an aggressive person.

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I just had an aggressive personality.

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And so that's where people would always tell me you're so aggressive.

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And so then that internalized and became my learned response that became my subconscious

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filter of I will just be aggressive in everything I do.

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So it transferred from the field to that every relationship.

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Right.

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So it was like, I always thought people were lying.

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I thought the world was against me.

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Like I had a lot of fight in me and I would look for fights everywhere I went.

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And then I would create the fight too, because remember the pawn or the morrow turns on the

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adrenaline turns on the cortisol.

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And once you start pumping that into your system, it's like your body craves it and

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wants it.

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Right.

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Like the adrenaline junkie.

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Right.

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And you're like, well, I think there's some imbalance there.

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You don't really need it.

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And so that turned into what you do at a biological level after it's in that state for so long.

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It becomes really hard sometimes to get out of that because your brain's like, wait, I'm

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used to having all this adrenaline pumping through me.

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And now I suddenly not getting it.

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Like what's going on?

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Exactly.

236
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And that then that's a big thing about the nervous system is it craves the known, not

237
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the healthy unknown.

238
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So I crave the chaos.

239
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,080
And that was another part of my story.

240
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,120
So like we said, it's multifaceted here.

241
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:43,880
There was like the brain piece was setting me off to then create a bunch of filters.

242
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,040
And so one part of it was craving chaos.

243
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:49,680
So go create chaos, go get into the chaos, go always have it.

244
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Right.

245
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,800
And it's funny because now that we're saying this and we love to like kind of work through

246
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:59,600
and workshop through things, I'm always surrounded by drama and a big piece of my story.

247
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:04,600
And I actually haven't done any reconnects about being around drama.

248
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,740
And I don't have and this is another part too of how we help you understand the difference

249
00:13:08,740 --> 00:13:12,160
of the root of the challenge is okay, I've worked through the brain part.

250
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,840
My moral reflex is integrated.

251
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,500
My pons is developed.

252
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:20,360
So I'm not reacting anymore to certain stimuli.

253
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:25,600
But there is a subconscious program that I have to keep working through, which is the

254
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,400
learned response of I went from being super aggressive to now rational.

255
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,200
Now I can have a neutral tone.

256
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:34,560
But why is it that I have drama always around me?

257
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:35,560
Like why is it?

258
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,360
And I'm just thinking about a situation right now because it is kind of running in the back

259
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,160
of my mind about like picking a school for my daughter.

260
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:44,480
And I'm like, I know this is going to probably upset somebody.

261
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,760
It's like, well, why do I even have to go there that I even have to care about how someone

262
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,900
else is going to respond?

263
00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:55,160
I need to go reconnect about I make choices for me and I make choices for the betterment

264
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,560
of my children.

265
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:57,560
Right.

266
00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:01,000
And I can't care how someone else is going to respond because that's their own stuff.

267
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:07,240
So I don't have like the triggers in the same way.

268
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:14,080
And like the trigger response is really bringing up a past trauma or a past response and a

269
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,720
past neural pathway.

270
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,720
Right.

271
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,040
Because that's what happened at the end of the day is you operate the same way for so

272
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:24,800
much for so long that it becomes automatic and it becomes your neural pathway.

273
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:25,800
Right.

274
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,480
And that becomes the way that you just respond to the world.

275
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:33,000
And so if you've been in this aggressive, it's called the default mode network.

276
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000
Right.

277
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,240
And so that's where you do these things so often and so it becomes natural.

278
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,000
So you don't even think about it anymore.

279
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,000
Right.

280
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,840
So that's where the second somebody cuts you off, you don't even think about it.

281
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:48,600
You're just like, you know, where the second something goes on with drama wise, you're

282
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:50,920
like, well, this drama is always following me.

283
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:51,920
Right.

284
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:52,920
Or like, oh, I have to do this thing.

285
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:53,920
Oh, somebody's going to get mad.

286
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:54,920
Right.

287
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:59,920
And that's also in the truth for so long or the your experience, I should say, not the

288
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,440
truth of your experience for so long.

289
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:03,440
Right.

290
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,200
And so that's where we look at that piece.

291
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,200
Right.

292
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,920
Where it's like, how did this come come come about?

293
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,120
And you did say earlier, it always starts with the brain.

294
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,120
I think some of them don't always start with the brain.

295
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:19,360
I think some of these patterns start with with situations that are going on around us

296
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,040
or maybe it could be epigenetic.

297
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,040
Right.

298
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,400
It could be something that's passed down to us.

299
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,400
That's a pattern of behavior passed on from somebody else.

300
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,360
But in this specific example, it starts with the brain.

301
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,360
I'm aggressive.

302
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,360
I'm angry.

303
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,360
I'm whatever.

304
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,200
And then I that's the way that I operate in the world.

305
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,440
That's the way I interact with most people.

306
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:39,360
I make it a part of my personality because it's not necessarily a very nice trait to

307
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,400
have to be super aggressive.

308
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,000
But if I own it as like, that's me.

309
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,000
I'm the Danimal.

310
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,000
Right.

311
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:50,160
Well, then, boom, like, I love this part of I say that I love this about myself, even

312
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,320
though on the inside, I probably don't.

313
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:57,560
And so then when I regulate my nervous system, I get rid of that survival response that's

314
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,840
triggering me into this aggressiveness.

315
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,840
And I'm like, wait, but I thought I was this person.

316
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:03,840
Like, I'm aggressive.

317
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:04,840
Right.

318
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,840
I'm abrasive.

319
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,040
I'm rude and whatever you wanted to call it.

320
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,040
Right.

321
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,720
And that's where I think you want to have something in common, because I have that,

322
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,640
too, where once I regulated and I was like, nice and happy.

323
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,800
I was like, always thinking people are going to think I'm a mean.

324
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,480
I mean, people are going to think I'm a blank.

325
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,360
You know what I'm going to say?

326
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,360
With anything that I would do.

327
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,460
And it's like, why do you think that?

328
00:16:26,460 --> 00:16:27,880
Because I acted that way for so long.

329
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,320
I really was a you know what?

330
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,320
You know what I mean?

331
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:31,320
Like, I was mean.

332
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,320
And I was aggressive.

333
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,320
I was rude to people.

334
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:38,080
And so now that I'm not that way, it feels like part of you still waiting for that part

335
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:42,240
of you still waiting for people to be like, you know, or to hear about somebody, somebody

336
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:46,160
to say they don't like you or to like, get like a nasty look from somebody.

337
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:52,480
And so that's where we have to go into what belief did this way of operating in the world

338
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:57,840
leave in my subconscious about myself and about the way that people respond to me.

339
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,720
And that's where it's like, OK, let's look at it.

340
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:06,520
Is it maybe something that you think this is, you know, that being aggressive is kind

341
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:11,440
of the way that a woman has to be right now?

342
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,640
Your worst society's expectations.

343
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:14,640
Right.

344
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:19,840
Because if like, if you don't want to be like the traditional female, which going back,

345
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:25,160
I'm not even going to go into that, but like male characteristics as a whole thing.

346
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:29,160
But if you don't want to be that traditional person, you already know that you're a little

347
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,600
bit different the way you interact with people.

348
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:35,240
Well, maybe you think that's the only way of being strong and the only way of being

349
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:41,400
heard and the only way of being seen and valued and respected is by being like very aggressive

350
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,400
about who you are.

351
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:43,400
Right.

352
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,400
Right.

353
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,400
And that's what you're like, it's not me.

354
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:46,400
It was my worth.

355
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,400
Right.

356
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,400
Exactly.

357
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,400
It's your worth.

358
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,120
And so that's what's coming up right now where you're like, are people going to get mad when

359
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,080
I do this thing that has nothing to do with them?

360
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,080
Right.

361
00:17:56,080 --> 00:18:00,760
But like, because I understand that I have to make these decisions for myself and that's

362
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,320
kind of I wouldn't I wouldn't label that as aggressive.

363
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:07,120
I would just label that as somebody who knows what they want.

364
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,120
Right.

365
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,120
Being assertive, right.

366
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,040
Being assertive is a good thing.

367
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,040
And that's just a reframe.

368
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:17,000
Like, I'm assertive and that's good, but I'm not aggressive because that's exactly an attack

369
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000
space.

370
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,000
Yeah.

371
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,000
Exactly.

372
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000
Exactly.

373
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,360
And they have to look at like, first of all, it doesn't matter what people think about you,

374
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:26,800
but you're still always going to think like, why do I think that they're going to think

375
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:27,800
that?

376
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,760
Like, what's it's not about controlling what people think.

377
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,680
We've gone through that already on the podcast.

378
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,680
Right.

379
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:37,640
It's about why do I think that they're going to react a certain way when I'm assertive.

380
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:38,640
Right.

381
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,800
I can tell you exactly what just came through my mind.

382
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:45,560
And number one, I want to clarify the reason I say we always the first thing is the brain

383
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,320
is because we always have to start with the brain.

384
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,480
We always have to look at what are your reflexes, what's your lower brain development looking

385
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:54,520
like so we can rule that out and then can figure out is this now a program you have

386
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:55,520
to work on.

387
00:18:55,520 --> 00:19:01,080
And as we're talking about this and knowing that we've worked so hard on our triggers

388
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,480
and our activation.

389
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,840
So the trigger is like pulling up something from the past.

390
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:09,120
The activation is you're feeling a visceral, you're feeling a physiological response from

391
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,880
something happening to you in this moment.

392
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,960
I'm like, OK, I don't have an activation.

393
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,200
I don't have a trigger anymore.

394
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,600
But there's a rumination in my mind.

395
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:23,880
And that tells me, OK, I have a program running in there because I was aggressive that defined

396
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,280
my worth.

397
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,360
And now I've dealt with a lot of that stuff.

398
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,440
OK, well, that's good.

399
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,760
But then why do I care what people think?

400
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:38,120
Because I had to always live in a space saying certain things could create responses in my

401
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:45,480
parents and being mindful of not pushing my parents into a space of reacting a certain

402
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:46,480
way.

403
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:47,480
So that's really huge.

404
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,000
I just had this aha as we're talking about it.

405
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,960
And that's why we love this work is because as you peel back the layers, you start to

406
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,120
say like, where did this come from?

407
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:59,800
And it's because my brother and I would fight, but we never knew when my dad would go there,

408
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,620
like when he would go to his pawns explosion.

409
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,480
And so it was like walking on eggshell.

410
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:11,120
So I have that feeling still within me of like, if I set someone off, then they're going

411
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,280
to have this response.

412
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,720
So I need to read my response.

413
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:15,720
It's my fault.

414
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,160
So that's where the reconnect is.

415
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:24,840
I release responsibility for other people's reactions, feelings for other people's for

416
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:28,960
other people's worth, even like for other people's value.

417
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,920
Or I mean, this could go so far.

418
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:32,920
Right.

419
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:33,920
Yeah.

420
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:38,240
So I release responsibility for other people's experience of me.

421
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,960
Like you can experience me however you want to.

422
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,400
I'm living my own life.

423
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,400
Right.

424
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,720
And so this is, I love that this was so perfect because this is how we do it.

425
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:47,720
Right.

426
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:48,720
And the cortex.

427
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:52,600
And that's what we always say, you know, you can do one, one piece of it.

428
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:56,720
And even people, people, a lot of people out there do one piece of the one piece.

429
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,120
So a lot of people only do the primitive reflexes.

430
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,120
Fantastic.

431
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:01,120
It's great.

432
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:05,280
You're going to notice a huge change in your life when you address the retained primitive

433
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,800
reflexes you have.

434
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:07,800
Period.

435
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,080
People feel an enormous change just from doing, making an X. Right.

436
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,400
And that is see it on our page.

437
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:14,400
It's all over our page.

438
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,520
It's one of our exercises.

439
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:20,400
People feel differences from just doing the brain gym exercises that are just educational

440
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,400
kinesiology.

441
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:22,400
Right.

442
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,840
It's not even getting to that route.

443
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,720
It's just helping you regulating, connect your brain and body.

444
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:31,200
But then what we do is we bring in the creeping and the crawling.

445
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:35,320
And that's where the magic happens in the neurological piece.

446
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,920
And I've had, I literally just had a conversation with somebody about this last week where they're

447
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,720
like, we did the reflexes and it worked, but then there's still something missing.

448
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,680
And I'm like, it's the creeping and the crawling.

449
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,120
And so that's where we are just on this mission.

450
00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:51,600
Cause we know this is what's going to change the world is literally just looking at the

451
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,160
primitive brain.

452
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:58,680
Once you look at that though, if you have all these beliefs in your subconscious mind

453
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:02,560
that are limiting you, that are making you think, think that you're unloved, that you're

454
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:07,920
unworthy, that you're responsible for everybody else's feelings in the world, that you are

455
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,360
not going to ever make money, that you're never going to be successful and never going

456
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,360
to find love.

457
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:15,280
I mean, there's so many different things then that's going to start getting in your way.

458
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:19,760
So you might not have that trigger, that activation, but you still have the patterns and you still

459
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,680
have the beliefs that are guiding you in ways that you're like, why do I keep doing this

460
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,600
thing over and over and over?

461
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:31,000
I always fall into the same pattern with work, with money, with my relationships, with whatever

462
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,000
it is.

463
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:36,200
And so if that's why we always say, you can't just do one or the other.

464
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:43,200
You can, but we recommend that you do both nervous system regulation and subconscious

465
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:49,040
mind work, because this truly is the formula that's going to help you continuously grow.

466
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,920
Because that's what life is guys.

467
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:55,120
It's not just, and I feel like we've talked about this before on the podcast, but I don't

468
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:58,480
care, I'm going to say it again anyway.

469
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,640
We have this thing where we're like, check off.

470
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,560
Okay, I did my regulation.

471
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,080
I did my subconscious work, check it off the list.

472
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,080
Bye.

473
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,320
Now I'm going to move on with my life.

474
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,920
And then you have another hard thing that happens and you're like, wait, I thought I

475
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:10,920
had that checked off my left.

476
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:11,920
Why is it not working again?

477
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:12,920
And it's like, no, this is life.

478
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:13,920
Yeah, it's lifelong, right?

479
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:22,160
And I do think that a lot of people that follow us, that listen to our podcast know, are more

480
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:30,360
on the same page as us about this, because I think this belief comes from the Western

481
00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:31,360
world that we live in.

482
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:34,760
And this is talking from our perspective, because we live in the Western world.

483
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,440
We know that it's completely different.

484
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,080
I think wellness is viewed differently.

485
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,080
I think healing is viewed differently.

486
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:46,680
I think the way people interact with the world and religion and each other, their bodies

487
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:47,680
is completely different.

488
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,280
But we're talking about the Western perspective here.

489
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:56,320
And we have had this idea for so long where it's like, you take a pill, you're fixed.

490
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,320
I was just going to say.

491
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,320
You're fine.

492
00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:59,320
No.

493
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:00,320
Like, no.

494
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:05,720
And so that's where we love the people that are in our program, because they're truly

495
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,720
like, oh, this is a lifestyle.

496
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,680
This is a tool that I'm going to use for the rest of my life.

497
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,200
And so that's why we're always hammering in.

498
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,200
Got to do both.

499
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,960
You do the brain regulation, and then you do the reconnect.

500
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,320
Sometimes you do more of the reconnect.

501
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,440
Sometimes you do more of the brain regulation stuff.

502
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:22,920
But you've got to do both.

503
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,120
And so this is perfect, because this is how we get to a reconnect.

504
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:31,000
And the reconnect, for those of you who don't remember, is the method that we use here in

505
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,360
the cortex to reprogram those negative subconscious beliefs.

506
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:40,880
So right now, for example, Dani found a subconscious belief that is, I am responsible for other

507
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:41,880
people's reactions.

508
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:47,400
So now the reconnect she's going to do is, I release responsibility for other people's

509
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,400
reactions.

510
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,760
And you can make it as specific or as unspecific as you want.

511
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:54,720
You can literally say, I release responsibility for blanks reaction.

512
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:58,160
Like the person, your mom, your dad, whoever it is.

513
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,320
And so that's where we know her system is regulated.

514
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,280
She literally just did her brain work right before we got on the podcast.

515
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,080
And she already has that reflex integrated in her pons.

516
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,800
Is it about 9,500% development?

517
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,520
We know that that is there.

518
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:16,160
And so that's where we get to the root of the subconscious piece with this reconnect.

519
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:20,320
And now I'm curious, within the next couple of weeks, you're going to do this reconnect.

520
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:24,280
And you're going to feel such a shift in the next couple of weeks of how you see that.

521
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,840
Because it's still something that's in your reality.

522
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,280
And so how you start to view that, are people going to get mad at me?

523
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,760
Are they going to be annoyed about this?

524
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,240
How the drama starts to fade around you?

525
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,240
Because that's truly what it is.

526
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:39,560
If you always think people are going to get mad at you, that's why you're attracting drama.

527
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:40,560
Hello.

528
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,680
I literally just visualized myself.

529
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,600
This is so silly, running down the street with peace signs being like, yeah, I'm getting

530
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,600
it.

531
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:49,760
I am free of this drama.

532
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:54,400
Because honestly, it has kept me kind of caught into what we would call that drama triangle

533
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,220
that we've experienced before.

534
00:25:56,220 --> 00:25:59,720
But I want to really quick go back on something you said, because it is true.

535
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:05,200
Our Western culture is so like, and I literally have a to do with sitting next to me with

536
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,120
like a bunch of boxes to take off because I love that dopamine hitch.

537
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:10,880
It's like any of the next girl next to me.

538
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:16,720
But I will tell you that our Western culture has gotten as program to believe that you

539
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,680
can just check it off, move on.

540
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:24,000
And what we want to help people understand is to take the healing back into their own

541
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:28,080
hands, take the organization, the regulation into your own hands.

542
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,120
And that's what our program is designed to do is to help you understand the tools that

543
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:32,120
you need.

544
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:33,120
So you don't need us.

545
00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:34,800
You don't need a specific thing.

546
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,800
And there is absolutely nothing wrong if you are someone who needs to take something right

547
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:39,800
now.

548
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,520
There's nothing wrong with that because we do all experience like needing to get out

549
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:43,520
of quicksand.

550
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,240
It is a great thing that pharmaceuticals has brought into our world today.

551
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:51,120
So you can take something, you can break a cycle.

552
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:52,880
So then you can go do something else.

553
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:53,880
Right.

554
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,040
The only thing that we're trying to help you understand is that it's not something you

555
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:58,400
can rely on for a long term.

556
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:02,480
It's not sustainable because what happens is your system starts to become immune to

557
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,040
it and you have to keep upping and upping.

558
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:08,920
And eventually, if anyone who's listening to this has experienced this before, you then

559
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,080
are tapped out and your system can't take on anymore.

560
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:16,580
And then if you look at what's happening, it's giving you certain hormones to get your

561
00:27:16,580 --> 00:27:19,080
brain to process information for what it is.

562
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:23,080
But we want you to look at like you were designed a specific way.

563
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:26,840
And we're not saying that your diagnosis of whatever you're experiencing isn't real.

564
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:27,840
It's very real.

565
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,160
We understand you.

566
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,340
So if you're listening, you're like, I have an ADHD diagnosis.

567
00:27:32,340 --> 00:27:33,920
We're not saying that you're lying about it.

568
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,360
We're saying, have you looked at the root?

569
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:39,400
Have you looked at how is your brain wired?

570
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,920
There's something you can do about it.

571
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,880
And then, you know, shifting your programs around it too.

572
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:46,880
Right.

573
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,160
Do you want to feel better?

574
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,600
And do you want to change?

575
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,640
Because once again, the pills are going to get you out of quicksand.

576
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:58,800
But the point here is to say, okay, I'm out of this moment where I was really, really

577
00:27:58,800 --> 00:27:59,800
feeling terrible.

578
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,040
Now, how do I create lasting, sustainable change?

579
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:04,600
And that's what we're all about.

580
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:05,600
100%.

581
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,280
And you have to keep going at it over and over.

582
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,200
And so like, I've been doing this work 15 years, I've been doing it for 14 years, and

583
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,480
it's like, it ebbs and it flows.

584
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:18,760
And I have finally come to the conclusion in the last two years that I need to do nervous

585
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:24,040
system regulation every day because I have two small kids, I have two step teenagers,

586
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:28,360
those four beings shine lots of lights on all of my wounding.

587
00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:31,280
And then I have, you know, the demands of everyday life that are coming at me.

588
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,400
And I prefer to be in a space that's regulated and ahead of it.

589
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:40,480
Whenever I go too long without taking care of myself, I start to feel certain things

590
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:41,480
come back.

591
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,640
And I'm like, it's just because my system didn't have the best start.

592
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,040
And it doesn't mean that my parents did a terrible job.

593
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:52,880
It just means that I was always really prone to going into a very fight, flight, freeze

594
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,680
reaction space.

595
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,160
So I just prefer to live my life like this.

596
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,360
It's like people who like to go for walks every single morning.

597
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,320
And they're like, I love a walk because it gets my brain stimulated.

598
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,660
It works for me.

599
00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:04,760
But a walk is great.

600
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,440
It helps bring in so much cross lateral, it helps bring in proprioceptive, your vestibular

601
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,560
system, it helps turn on the brain.

602
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,240
But the difference is, is then how are you breaking cycles?

603
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,600
How are you then coming out of certain things?

604
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,960
Because now I can sit down and I don't get triggered by certain things.

605
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,880
I don't get activated by things anymore.

606
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:25,640
I can now look at it from like a zoomed out lens and go, wait, why is it that I'm still

607
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,720
ruminating on caring what that person thinks?

608
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,520
Why am I even talking about that?

609
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,800
It's like, oh, it's because I've always craved so much drama in my life.

610
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:38,600
So now that I don't have the activation and the visceral reaction, I can now look at it

611
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,200
and go, okay, but what do I want to shift about it?

612
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,760
Oh my gosh, I'm not responsible for other people's reactions.

613
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,360
What a liberating thing to experience, right?

614
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,240
And then you literally run down the street with peace signs because you're just like,

615
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,680
nothing can save me, right?

616
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:52,840
And I'm so excited to go do that reconnect today.

617
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:53,840
Me too.

618
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:55,200
That's going to be good.

619
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,000
And that's what we love about our group.

620
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,480
Our members are number one, amazing.

621
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:04,160
And number two, we have this amazing WhatsApp group that people are chiming in every single

622
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,040
day talking about what reconnects they're doing, what brain work we're doing.

623
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:11,680
And it's just such a beautiful place to be accountable and to have support of all people

624
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:16,160
from all over the world that are chatting about what they're doing to make their life

625
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:17,160
better.

626
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,360
And then they reach out for, hey, I need some support here.

627
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:23,800
And our members are answering questions even better than we are now sometimes because they

628
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:27,680
are just so immersed in this and we're like, yeah, you got that.

629
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:32,240
So the more you practice it, the more it becomes second nature, the easier it gets.

630
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:36,320
And that's what our program does is it guides you through this whole entire process.

631
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:37,880
A hundred percent.

632
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:42,920
And we're so excited because we're about to launch a subconscious shift challenge.

633
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:47,600
It's going to be a week long and we have it all mapped out and we're so excited to bring

634
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:48,920
that to everybody for free.

635
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,520
So if you're listening to this podcast, you're like, I've been waiting for my sign to join

636
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:53,520
something.

637
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:54,520
This is it.

638
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,360
It's coming in the early days of August.

639
00:30:56,360 --> 00:31:00,400
We haven't completely fine tuned what date we're launching it, but stay tuned on our

640
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:04,560
Instagram because we'll be sharing it and get onto our email list so that way you also

641
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:06,320
get the information that way too.

642
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:07,320
Yes.

643
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,320
Well, you're so good at taking us out on this.

644
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:11,320
Okay.

645
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:16,560
Um, well, listen to our podcast like you are right now.

646
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:17,560
Keep doing that.

647
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:18,560
You're doing great.

648
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:25,360
Please subscribe and rate it because we love when we get recommended through Spotify, like,

649
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:29,560
you know, or, or Apple podcasts, like podcasts you might be interested in.

650
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:33,860
That's really a cool way of doing it because it's people that would have never maybe heard

651
00:31:33,860 --> 00:31:37,120
of it otherwise, but also share it with your friends and family.

652
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:38,120
Of course.

653
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:42,840
Um, we really just want the world to know that life can get so much easier and please

654
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:43,840
follow us on Instagram.

655
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,880
It's in the cortex underscore us.

656
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:49,040
Our Tik Tok is in underscore the underscore cortex.

657
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:54,560
If you're a Spanish, if you're a Spanish speaker, we have in the cortex underscore ESP.

658
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:58,000
Our website is in the cortex.com and you can always, always email us.

659
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:02,080
It's literally Danny and I behind the scenes answering every single email.

660
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,560
Hello at in the cortex.com.

661
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:09,040
Um, so email is there and remember about the reconnect challenge, please.

662
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:12,600
It's going to be called the subconscious shift challenge, but you've heard us talk about

663
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:16,040
reconnect a lot, so that's basically what it's going to be about is learning.

664
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:17,120
What does that even mean?

665
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:18,120
How does it work?

666
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,120
How do I apply it into my day to day life?

667
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:25,720
And remember promo code, the Rainier will get you 10 bucks off your first payment of

668
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,460
our program.

669
00:32:27,460 --> 00:32:31,960
So we hope to see you soon and meet you on our, on our next cortex chat and thanks for

670
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:32,960
being here.

671
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:33,960
Yeah.

672
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:51,080
We love you.