1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,280 Hi, and welcome to the In The Cortex podcast. 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,280 We are your hosts. 3 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:11,600 I'm Poloma Garcia. 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,640 And I am Danny Parakoni. 5 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:17,240 And we're the founders of In The Cortex, an online community with programs that show 6 00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:21,480 people the tools that they need to change their lives, their brain reorganization, no 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,880 medication, just movement. 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:28,080 When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start 9 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:32,200 to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex. 10 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:36,520 Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life. 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,960 And now on to today's episode. 12 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,880 Hi everybody, welcome back to The Pod. 13 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:50,400 Today we're going to be talking about judgment and what we judge and kind of what, how we 14 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:55,960 can work with it because it's not fun to feel judged, but it's also not fun to judge people, 15 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:56,960 right? 16 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,280 We're all thought about what's going on in our own lives often. 17 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:05,520 And there's a big difference between judgment and discernment and just really having, you 18 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:10,160 know, kind of an idea of what you like in your life and what you want more of. 19 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:14,120 And that's really what we want to explore here because it's a really great way to dig 20 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:20,160 deeper and to look at your own patterns, your emotions and things that are coming up for 21 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,400 you, coming up with ReConnex. 22 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:27,880 ReConnex is our process here at ITC to reprogram our subconscious beliefs. 23 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,080 So there's a lot to talk about here, I think. 24 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,080 Yeah. 25 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:35,720 I don't know how structured it's going to be, but I know they have a lot to say on this 26 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:36,720 subject. 27 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,480 We'll start with what judgment is, right? 28 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:45,440 So like judgment from the definition standpoint, the act of forming opinions or conclusions 29 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:50,680 about something based on available information or personal beliefs. 30 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:56,240 It often involves a quick assessment of a situation or a person's actions, which can 31 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,680 sometimes lead to snap decisions or stereotypes, right? 32 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,840 They're all done that, right? 33 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:01,840 That's so true. 34 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:02,840 That's so common. 35 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:07,360 I do that all the time and I catch myself and I'm like, I'm trying not to do this, but 36 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:11,240 it's so like encoded in my brain at this point in most of our brains, right? 37 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,000 Like you look at somebody and you immediately make a snap judgment about them. 38 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:19,720 And we've all been in that position where somebody totally surprises you and you're 39 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,400 like, you're not the person that I thought you were, right? 40 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:27,320 And I think, wait, this actually makes sense for me, Danny, because I just came up with 41 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:32,240 a reconnect last week about letting go of controlling the way that other people see 42 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,240 me. 43 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,080 Or maybe I think it was actually on Monday, last week. 44 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:41,560 It's been a long week, people. 45 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:45,480 And I think maybe that's why, because I know I'm constantly making snap judgments about 46 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,600 people and so that I think they're doing the same, right? 47 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,680 I want to control the way they see me. 48 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:54,080 So that's something that I definitely have to address more. 49 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,680 We just did a reconnect before getting on this call. 50 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,840 And I know we did them on Monday as well. 51 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:04,280 But I think that a lot of judgment comes from something that you feel that you're lacking 52 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:08,240 or something that you feel that you do that you don't like about yourself, right? 53 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:14,320 So for example, a common judgment is we always use the example of money, right? 54 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,840 It's judging the way that people use their money. 55 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:22,600 And if you're judging the way that somebody uses, like when they don't have that much 56 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:27,280 money, then maybe you're somebody who's like, if I were in that position, you know, you're 57 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:31,160 somebody that's very, what's it called, very controlled with your money and you're really 58 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,960 good at like saving and you're maybe have a little bit of a lack mentality, right? 59 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,040 Where you're like, I got a hoard at all, right? 60 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,960 And they're spending recklessly even though they don't have any money or the opposite when 61 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,440 somebody has a ton of money and they don't spend anything. 62 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,560 You're like, but you have all this money, go spend it, right? 63 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,520 And so it's not about, we'll talk about this in a second. 64 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:54,040 It's not about what aligns with you or what doesn't. 65 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,840 The judgment piece, the piece of judgment I should say that we're looking at in this 66 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:05,720 podcast and in our program is what's the part that gives you like a visceral emotional reaction? 67 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,640 You're like, why does that person do that? 68 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:12,960 And you're like, well, they're just so blank and you come up with whatever word it is that 69 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,880 puts them down and puts you up, right? 70 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,880 And that's what we do. 71 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:22,000 That's what judgment is, is putting yourself in a higher position that whoever you're judging, 72 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,000 right? 73 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,000 And what our sense it is. 74 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:28,240 And so a lot of the time it comes up, it comes from our insecurities, from our own beliefs 75 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,400 and from things that we obviously don't align with. 76 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:37,480 But always it's coming from something that is inside of us that is either being reflected 77 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:41,960 back or the lack of it is being shown to us, right? 78 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,240 So it's something we really wish we did have. 79 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,760 And you know, often judgment comes from jealousy, where you see somebody has something that 80 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,600 you want or does something that you want. 81 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,400 You're like, well, they're just like so blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 82 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,400 And that's why they do that. 83 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,840 And that's why they have that. 84 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:59,640 And then you're like, wait, I really want that. 85 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:00,640 Yeah. 86 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,080 I always hear people talk and we all do it. 87 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,840 So it's not like Plum and I are immune to like talking about other people. 88 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,920 No, I just said I just said I just said I just said it. 89 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:13,120 But it's really about like, when you start to hear people talk and you start to listen 90 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,360 to how they process information. 91 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,360 Because remember, all the information is coming through different filters of what you've created, 92 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,360 right? 93 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:24,560 And so like, I don't see the world the same way Plum does and vice versa. 94 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:29,600 And so you start to see like what information hits certain people's filters and their belief 95 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:30,920 systems. 96 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:35,960 And that's when you start to learn so much about people just by listening to them. 97 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,720 And that's like, hey, people like so many that have been around forever, that's why 98 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,760 you have two ears and just one mouth, right? 99 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:47,120 You should be listening twice as much as you're talking to try to hear more about how other 100 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:51,640 people are processing the world before you just jumped these snap judgments, right? 101 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:57,600 And so in the beginning of our business together, we did a lot more judgment and we did a lot 102 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,480 of what did they get back to us? 103 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:04,000 And we would immediately create like a story of like, but it would often reflect on we 104 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:10,000 were enough and we weren't worthy of and that's why they didn't respond back to us. 105 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:15,120 And this is where all that brainwrit comes in of being able to like pause and instead 106 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,120 of catastrophizing it just be like, they're probably busy, right? 107 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,120 Yeah. 108 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:23,720 And that's the, that's the example we give all the time where and they know most people 109 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:27,040 listening to this are going to relate to this one. 110 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:32,760 When you send an email or a text and they don't respond immediately and you know it's 111 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,160 because it's something that you're like anxious about, right? 112 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,800 And it's just like, oh, well, they're probably, you know, it's a typical thing with like the 113 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:40,800 boyfriend, right? 114 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,440 Like, oh, he's probably out with other girls, you know, the meme where like the girlfriend 115 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:48,200 is like, oh, he's probably out with other girls and it's videos of it like guy doing 116 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,200 what they're actually doing. 117 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:53,040 Yeah, it's like, like in reenacting a scene from Harry Potter. 118 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,040 Right. 119 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,040 Exactly. 120 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:59,240 And you just make these stories about like, well, he probably got angry because day before 121 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:04,720 yesterday he asked me about what my favorite movie was and I told him a movie that he hadn't 122 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,080 seen and then I said, I can't believe you hadn't seen that. 123 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,080 So it's probably why he's mad. 124 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,760 And so, and you're just like making this whole entire story where he's like, hey, sorry, 125 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,840 I was taking a nap. 126 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,440 My phone was charging in the other room. 127 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:21,320 It's like, I'm literally just stressed myself out for two and a half hours or however long 128 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,520 all this person was just chilling like Magellan and I could have been doing the same, you 129 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:31,600 know, but it's because that's where the subconscious, the insecurity you feel around whatever this 130 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,160 message was about or whatever this interaction was about. 131 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,880 Because sometimes it can be like a work email, right? 132 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:39,640 Where you're like, oh, I feel insecure in my job right now and my boss is getting back 133 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:40,640 to me about this. 134 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:41,880 I feel like that's so common too. 135 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,520 I see that people talk about that on TikTok all the time. 136 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:49,400 So that belief, that imposter syndrome in the job case, right? 137 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:56,040 Or that insecurity, anxious attachment maybe with your boyfriend comes up and comes against 138 00:07:56,040 --> 00:08:00,880 your primitive brain, which is like anything that is not predictable. 139 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,840 I'm processing as a life for death situation. 140 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:08,360 So I'm going to freak out and I'm going to decide that every single worst case scenario 141 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:12,480 is happening right now as I'm sitting here staring at my screen, hoping that something 142 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,840 will come in from that person. 143 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:14,840 Exactly. 144 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,800 So we're asking you to take those moments of judgment and just doing like that quick 145 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:23,080 emotional reaction and looking at that and saying, well, what is really actually going 146 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,080 on with me? 147 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:28,320 Because it's quick and easy to point fingers at everybody else and tell them how to live 148 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,800 their lives, right? 149 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,000 And that's what we do when we judge. 150 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,360 We're just like, if you just did life like this, it'd be so different. 151 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,240 And then we're asking you to kind of flip the script. 152 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:41,040 Well, what is coming up if you're telling someone who's having a trouble with spending 153 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,520 money late crazy, are you spending money late crazy? 154 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,720 Are you frivolously spending? 155 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:50,120 And it's really coming down to awareness because when you can have the awareness about your 156 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:57,400 pattern and your beliefs, then you start to realize, oh, anything that I call out in other 157 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,480 people is really just me. 158 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,120 It's what I'm doing. 159 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:05,320 And I can sell like me and my partner right now are doing so much mirroring back and forth. 160 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,640 It's like almost insane. 161 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,960 We're at this like really critical like frustration point in our relationship. 162 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,200 We're just like, oh my gosh, you're doing what you're telling me not to do. 163 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,200 And I'm doing what you're doing. 164 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,920 You know, and I'm telling you not to do it. 165 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:16,920 And it's like, okay. 166 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:20,960 So at what point do we then look at it and go, what are we trying to accomplish here? 167 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:26,480 And so this is where we say, if it's emotional, if it's giving you a visceral reaction, it's 168 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,280 judgment, it's giving you insight about you. 169 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,280 What can you do? 170 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:33,640 Well, there's brain work to help calm the system down and then a reconnect so you can 171 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:34,720 break the pattern. 172 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,520 And that's really the biggest piece of like, okay, where do I need to look at my life? 173 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,120 Am I living in a lack mindset? 174 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:44,360 Am I looking at things at a very fearful angle? 175 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:45,880 What do I need to do to shift it? 176 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:46,880 Right. 177 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:47,880 Where is that coming from? 178 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:48,880 Exactly. 179 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,960 That's the ultimate point of all of this, right? 180 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:55,920 And that's where it's completely different from discernment because being able to discern 181 00:09:55,920 --> 00:10:00,160 what you like, what you don't, what aligns with you, that's a good thing. 182 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,040 That's part of creating your moral compass in life, right? 183 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:07,560 And understanding what your core values are as a person and acting in alignment with them. 184 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:12,760 So seeing somebody that spends frivolously and you would never do that, that's okay 185 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:19,000 because you can say, one of my core values is to be very, I don't know, intentional with 186 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,920 the way that I use my money. 187 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,880 But the moment you see that person and you feel that activation, that's where you're 188 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,880 really judging them. 189 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:30,320 And the moment, you know what also judgment goes hand in hand with labels. 190 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,600 Like you always put a label on that person. 191 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,600 Oh, they're so blank. 192 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,600 Right. 193 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,600 They're so frivolous. 194 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,920 They're so this, they're so that. 195 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,720 And that's so easy because it categorizes it in your mind. 196 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,000 So you and I were talking about on Monday, right? 197 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:47,160 It puts that person in a box that makes your brain able to interpret it and to like discount 198 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,160 it, right? 199 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:49,160 Right. 200 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,840 Well, that doesn't matter because blank. 201 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,240 And so that way you don't have to look at yourself in that sense, right? 202 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,240 It's so easy to judge. 203 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:59,200 I mean, if you think about it, it's one of the most natural things that people do since 204 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,360 the beginning of time. 205 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:05,240 It's a, it's a human thing because we live in a society, we live in a community in different 206 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,240 communities. 207 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,840 We're constantly comparing ourselves to others. 208 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,800 That's really human nature. 209 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:11,800 It's not helpful. 210 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:17,080 It's good to know that we're doing it and identify and actively try to not do it, but 211 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,680 it is a huge, total human nature thing. 212 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,160 Yeah, it is. 213 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:25,760 And there's no like being above anybody by not judging because we all do it, whether we 214 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,920 do it outwardly or inwardly. 215 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:32,760 We're all trying to make a story in our mind of what's going on so we can make sense of 216 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,000 something. 217 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,360 And so we're just like, we're telling you, you can't literally walk around and not judge 218 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,480 anybody unless you're like Jesus or like a monk that lives on a mountain and you've 219 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,720 learned how to like completely do that, right? 220 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:44,720 It's hard. 221 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,040 It's hard work to do. 222 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:50,280 We're asking that like when you start to judge is to gain the awareness and to dig into 223 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,520 it, like where is it coming from? 224 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:56,280 And start etching away at the layers of like, well, do I want that? 225 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,160 Is it serving me? 226 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:02,320 And it's really just a chance to get to know yourself more. 227 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:08,280 So I start to judge and I go, I laugh now and I go, oh, I even have that thought. 228 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:11,640 That means that somebody needs to go work on. 229 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:15,320 And sometimes I'm like, no, when I resist it, because if you listened to our last podcast, 230 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:21,760 we resisted it's like, oh, that, that's something that's still existing within you. 231 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,160 And so it, and also we talk about this all the time. 232 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,160 It's the awareness. 233 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,040 That's the biggest, biggest piece. 234 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,880 Because if you don't have awareness, you've got nothing else to grow from. 235 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:36,120 So you have to be able to pause yourself and really be curious and curiosity is going to 236 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:40,800 keep you in your cortex and it's going to help you instead of shaming yourself for having 237 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,200 these thoughts. 238 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,800 It's about get curious. 239 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:44,800 Like why? 240 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,080 Why do I think this? 241 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,080 How is it serving me? 242 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,680 Do I want it to continue? 243 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:55,520 And like because of the way that the brain works, it always wants a story, a beginning, 244 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:56,520 middle, an end. 245 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:57,520 Right. 246 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,680 And so that's where those judgments come in. 247 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:03,120 But it's hard to, and so that's why it's hard, right? 248 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:07,360 To not judge people and to not create those stories and to not make these assumptions 249 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,160 about things because the brain needs it to process it. 250 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,160 Right. 251 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,560 So that's where letting go is a huge one. 252 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:19,040 And if you're already in the program, I highly recommend doing, I let go of my expectations. 253 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,400 I let go of society's expectations, right? 254 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,720 I let go of the stories I make for people because that's a huge piece of it. 255 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:26,720 So hard. 256 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,520 I feel like we've kind of started to accomplish it recently. 257 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:35,280 You and I have, because we've started to work on that part of ourselves, but it's just, 258 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,280 it's really hard. 259 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,680 And I think it's something so crazy. 260 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:46,720 Society's expectations, literally, it's like, we were talking about this in the group chat 261 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,640 the other day with all the members. 262 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:54,080 We have this idea of like, oh, I had a human moment or I have to accept the human in me. 263 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,680 And it's like, we are all humans. 264 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:57,680 Right. 265 00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,960 And we're giving the idea of being a human a lesser judgment. 266 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:01,960 Right. 267 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,280 It's like, oh, I had a human moment. 268 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:08,880 Not me as if the rest of the time I had to operate on a super human plane. 269 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:09,880 Right. 270 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,720 And the rest of the time I had to be like, I love it. 271 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:13,720 Right. 272 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:14,720 Yeah. 273 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:21,000 And it's just like, we have these sky high expectations for ourselves in every single 274 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,000 way. 275 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:27,560 So even the fact that having a human moment or accepting the human in myself is an expression 276 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,560 and is something that we say all the time. 277 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:33,200 That tells us so much about the way that society that we see ourselves, right? 278 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,200 In society. 279 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,200 Well, yeah. 280 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,640 And you think about the world we're in today is moving and we've talked about this before. 281 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:45,480 The amount of information we receive in one day is what was equivalent to a whole entire 282 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,440 person's lifetime, like what 500 years ago. 283 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:55,280 And so if you look at how much faster we have to process through things and it's such a 284 00:14:55,280 --> 00:15:01,960 higher speed, we need to remember we're human because we're up against machines all the time. 285 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:07,120 And so we look at a computer, how it's operating so efficiently most of the time. 286 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,880 And then we expect the same sort of thing on ourselves, right? 287 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:15,200 And then we go back into like all the epigenetics we're about to be talking in about what your 288 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:19,200 parents passed down to you because what their parents passed down to them and every single 289 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,800 year the bar gets higher and higher. 290 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:27,840 So for us, it's like we, and this is why we love our parenting approach. 291 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,040 It's because it's really about looking at yourself before you even look at your kids 292 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,480 and looking at what they're doing. 293 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,400 It's about looking at you. 294 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,520 And it changes the scale of how much harder it is. 295 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,600 Because when you look at a kid who has behaviors that need to be managed because you're managing 296 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:45,680 because people are judging you because you're not good enough as a parent, right? 297 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,600 This is a story you tell yourself. 298 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,760 Then you start to like feel like you have to control more and then you have to do more 299 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,640 and you have to overcompensate for all these things. 300 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:58,960 And we're like, how about try it this way where you look at yourself, let your kid be 301 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:03,480 them, be themself, do their things, put boundaries in place, but work on yourself so you're coming 302 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:04,640 from a healthy place. 303 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:09,040 That's not a pattern that was dictated to you from whoever, right? 304 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:13,640 So it's really about like trying to have like a clean slate approach in this chaotic world. 305 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,520 And it's definitely not easy work, but once you start getting into it and then you start 306 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,840 getting really curious. 307 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:23,200 It's like the biggest, that's like the best adjective I can give you is to just be curious 308 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:28,560 with it and sit with it and just, I'm curious as to why this is happening. 309 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,600 I guess it's more of a verb, right? 310 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:36,960 And I'm sitting here and really trying to decide like, why am I reacting? 311 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,160 Is it a verb or an adjective? 312 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,160 No, it's an adjective. 313 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,160 Like I'm curious. 314 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,160 I'm curious. 315 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,160 Oh yeah, I am. 316 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:44,160 Wait, I am, right? 317 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,920 You're gonna be like, I'm curiousing today. 318 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:47,920 Yeah, right. 319 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:56,160 Okay, I am curious of why certain things are happening and it doesn't, and this is what's 320 00:16:56,160 --> 00:17:01,800 so hard and this is why we keep reminding ourselves to be human is because we think that we need 321 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,280 to be above it. 322 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:10,000 And I just want anyone who's listening to this to realize like to get into that space 323 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:15,080 of not caring what people think about you and not caring that their judgment is just 324 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,760 a projection of them, right? 325 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:21,120 And they are just throwing their own wounds and hurt and pain at you. 326 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:25,280 And you, when you can get to that space of not caring and it takes work, it takes a lot 327 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:29,600 of reconnects to get there, then you start to realize like I am free to create who I 328 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:36,000 am and being free to be a human that makes mistakes because that's how I grow. 329 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:40,560 And I don't know, I think that it's cool because my kids will shine so much light on this for 330 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:44,120 me where they're talking to me and they're like, but mom, I'm just a kid. 331 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,120 And I'm like, yeah, you're right. 332 00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:49,680 Like in what world do I think you're supposed to already know how to drive a car, right? 333 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,560 Like, yeah, not that I tell them to, but I'm just saying like there's things that they 334 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:57,120 still need so much support with and course. 335 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,960 Because of our program. 336 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:05,320 And I think, you know, when you say people are throwing their things at you, you're throwing 337 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,120 things at people too. 338 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,600 Like you don't even know it, right? 339 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:13,120 So it's also not about, I just want to make it clear that we're not saying that you're 340 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:16,680 walking out into the world and you have to have this like shield because people are going 341 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,080 to be throwing their trauma at you 24 seven. 342 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,520 That's not what it is. 343 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:26,760 It's just people are living it and experiencing it and just literally going through life with 344 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,360 the programming that they have. 345 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:31,560 And when it comes up against you, it does feel like somebody's throwing something at you, 346 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,920 but they're not doing it on purpose because you're doing the same thing without even noticing 347 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,760 a bunch of other people, right? 348 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:40,760 And that's where you, you know, we've all had that moment where you're like, I feel like 349 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:45,040 that person doesn't really like me how much or I say, I say something that I think is 350 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,280 no big deal and somebody really reacts in a certain way. 351 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,640 You're like, whoa, okay. 352 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:54,600 And that's where they got, you know, triggered really by something that I said, right? 353 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,520 Or I did, or I represent for them. 354 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:02,600 And I think it's really important to also think about like not going back, like you 355 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,160 don't have to fit into the story that you've made for yourself. 356 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,320 I think that's a huge, that's a reconnect. 357 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,400 I'm going to write that down because I feel like we do that all the time. 358 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:16,760 I literally just thought of this right now because I have this story about myself that 359 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,800 I think I grew up in a way, I've talked about this before on the podcast and in a way that 360 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,160 everybody was like, oh, you're so smart. 361 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,160 You're so smart. 362 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,160 You're so smart. 363 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,320 Nothing's ever going to be hard for you because you're so smart, right? 364 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,640 So I grew up thinking, okay, great. 365 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,400 So everything can always be easy for the rest of my life. 366 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,400 Wonderful. 367 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:31,400 And subconsciously, obviously. 368 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,200 And so whenever I encounter something that's not easy, I'm like, hi. 369 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,200 Hi. 370 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,640 See you never. 371 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,120 Before I tried to like overcompensate and show that I am really smart, right? 372 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:44,320 And I had a couple of moments, like for example, right now with the adjective of the verb, 373 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,400 that would have made me so annoyed like a year ago. 374 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,480 I'd have been like, absolutely not. 375 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,480 That's an adjective. 376 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,760 No, because blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, like, then I would have been like having 377 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,960 to prove that I had, that I knew what it was. 378 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:54,960 Yeah. 379 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,200 Then right now I literally Google like is curious and verbatim. 380 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,200 I don't care. 381 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,920 Or like my friend, I told you my friend told me she's pregnant. 382 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:02,920 Yeah. 383 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:03,920 Nine weeks pregnant. 384 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:04,920 Okay. 385 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:05,920 She told me up this week. 386 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:12,120 And I was like, oh my God, how cool would it be your baby's birthday, which is in December. 387 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,440 She's like, baby girl, the due days in February. 388 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,440 Like what are you talking about? 389 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,960 And I was like, oh my gosh, I forgot to carry the one. 390 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:25,200 And it's because, but I was able to laugh at it where before I would have been so like, 391 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,160 oh, I thought you said, I read it wrong. 392 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,920 I thought you said, like I would have made up an excuse. 393 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,720 I thought you said, you know, 19 weeks or whatever it is. 394 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:32,720 Right. 395 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,840 I would have made up something like that because I would have to cover up like, no, I am really 396 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:42,320 smart, you know, and that's where I've released that, that narrative from my life. 397 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,960 I think there's other narratives that I want to release too, but I think we all have that 398 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:51,160 one line that you're like, oh, everything I do has to fall into this one path that represents 399 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,200 who I am because that's the person that I am. 400 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,200 Right. 401 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,760 So these are just constructs that have been put upon us or that we've put on ourselves 402 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:08,880 or society has to say and like it's also, it's just so easy to fall into it because 403 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:15,520 our neural pathways, they are strong, you know, and so that's where also identifying 404 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:19,160 that is another way of really helping you understand why you judge the things that you 405 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:20,160 do. 406 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,160 Oh my gosh. 407 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,160 Yes. 408 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:27,200 And I love that you bring up just the everyday conversations we have and how insightful they 409 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:31,040 are because that is how you find reconnects. 410 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,040 And that's one thing that we're going to take you through on our reconnect challenge is one 411 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,920 of the major ways to find a reconnect is just by living because by living, you're going 412 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:41,200 to find yourself bumping into other people's values. 413 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:46,040 And that's really what it comes down to is what do I value so strongly? 414 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:50,480 Why do I need to have you change the way you live to fit into my value system? 415 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,400 So I feel good. 416 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:58,400 And I mean, I find myself doing that too, but I look at it as, you know, just by living, 417 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,160 you can find out so much about yourself. 418 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:03,880 And it's funny because we started talking about scheduling, like a simple thing of like putting 419 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,680 things on a calendar. 420 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:10,480 And what would have seemed just like a simple like put it on a calendar, move on with things. 421 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:17,840 For me, it was so much deeper of like this, like two pieces of it was, you know, I was 422 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:21,200 like, okay, it's so easy for you just to tell me just like how to put in a calendar. 423 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,320 But for me, I'm like, no, you don't understand. 424 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:27,440 You don't understand how many different calendars I'm trying to run and operate. 425 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:31,360 And then it really boils down to how frustrated I get when I'm still trying to like work my 426 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:36,840 normal schedule and I don't have childcare on the regular and how hard that feels. 427 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:41,960 And I know I say parenting is hard because it is, it's really hard because you're managing 428 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,040 and we just, you don't have a day off. 429 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,680 Like when you're a parent, you can't just go on, give me 30 and you need to go take 430 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:47,920 a break and come back. 431 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,480 Like you can walk out of a room and calm down, but like you're not like, I'm going to go 432 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:52,480 take my lunch break. 433 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,800 You guys like just go do you, right? 434 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:55,800 Yeah. 435 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,520 And so that's why parenting is a full time gig. 436 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:02,560 And there's so much to it when you become a parent of things that you never, you can 437 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,840 never prepare for it because you've never known anything like it before. 438 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:06,840 Right. 439 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,240 So unless you were the oldest sibling that had to take care of all your other siblings 440 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,200 and there's a whole lot of other stuff going on with that. 441 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:19,200 But for me, it's like a simple thing like scheduling that actually had a bigger root 442 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,080 of like number one being told what to do. 443 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,200 I cannot stand being told what to do. 444 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,480 And I have to keep working on that layer of like, why do I feel that? 445 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:30,880 And when people will wait to do, I always feel like I'm being judged of like maybe not being 446 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,000 good enough on certain things or whatever it is. 447 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,200 Like you're not doing enough. 448 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,200 Or like I'm not doing enough. 449 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:41,360 I'm like, do I need to, and then you find yourself getting defensive in the judgment. 450 00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:46,320 And then also to just like, so whatever simple thing comes up, you can feel that there's 451 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:50,480 so many layers and the surface is always what we argue about. 452 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:54,720 But really when you get down into the meat of it, you're like, actually it's stemming 453 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:55,720 from this feeling. 454 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:56,720 Exactly. 455 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:01,440 No control or once you, you identified that we figured out what it was. 456 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:07,320 And we simply, I was like, do this and quickly like, now we do this and now we change the 457 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,120 system and it took us, you know, how it doesn't matter how long it took. 458 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:14,280 But it, once you like, oh my gosh, that's where it's coming from. 459 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,280 Then the superficial part becomes so much easier. 460 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:17,280 Yeah. 461 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,160 Because we could have been like, okay, so now we're going to do this system. 462 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,480 We're going to do it this way. 463 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:25,360 But if you still had that feeling of like, oh, it's, it would have come up in a different 464 00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:29,760 way with another thing or with another thing with that or it would have been with your, 465 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,680 with your field hockey, with your kids, with Sam, with what it would have come up in another 466 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:33,680 way. 467 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,320 And so here now you, all you had to do was identify it. 468 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,640 And you were like, I think that's what it is. 469 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:39,640 Okay. 470 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,720 And then that whole like layer came off of the conversation. 471 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:43,720 Right. 472 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:44,720 And then we figured it out. 473 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:48,160 And in two things than that, that's the P I was going to say. 474 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:49,680 So two parts on that. 475 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,760 Number one, had we not had brain work, it would have turned into a massive fight. 476 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:57,760 And you know, I don't want to jinx this or anything Paloma, but like we've been in business 477 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:02,240 now for many, many years together and we've never had like what most businesses have like 478 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,480 big explosive arguments. 479 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,320 And we truthfully like, we'll, we'll annoy each other for sure. 480 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,240 And we'll like throw out the judgment. 481 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:10,240 I'll get triggered. 482 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,240 I'll get triggered. 483 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,240 But the, the speed in which we can overcome it. 484 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:17,720 And we are so, we are like, we couldn't find two more opposite people in the entire world 485 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,720 to work together. 486 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:23,560 Like it's, you know, it's pretty wild, but like the speed in which we can like overcome 487 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:24,560 things is so fast. 488 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:28,960 And that's totally attributed to doing brain work because we can just like let things roll 489 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,600 off of us faster. 490 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:35,640 And then the second piece is, is if you don't address that lesson and getting to the root 491 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,400 of it, it will just keep showing up over and over. 492 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,720 And you'll just be like, the world is judging you. 493 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:44,720 You've like the world's against you versus seeing it as a lesson and something to learn 494 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:45,720 more about yourself. 495 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,280 A million percent, a hundred thousand. 496 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,280 That's exactly it. 497 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,760 Oh, well, so that's judgment. 498 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,760 That's judgment for you. 499 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:54,760 Yeah. 500 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,760 Because no, if you have any questions, right? 501 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,680 Go ahead and tag us in all your judgy moments. 502 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:04,640 But now you talk about discernment more because this is really where we want more of us to 503 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:10,160 be living in a discerning space where it almost feels like, you know, you're involved in a 504 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:14,720 more thoughtful and a deliberate approach to evaluating a situation or people. 505 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:20,240 And it usually entails like a careful observation, analysis, consideration of many different factors 506 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,920 before just arriving at like a conclusion. 507 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:28,000 So you're in a space of critically thinking, you're being open minded. 508 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,000 You're in your cortex. 509 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,000 You're in your cortex. 510 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,280 You're looking to understand nuances, complexities. 511 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:35,240 You're looking to create a more balanced and insightful perspective. 512 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:39,160 Like you couldn't have written how to be in your cortex more than being discerning. 513 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,320 Like that is literally what we're asking people to do. 514 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,360 Well, that's what, and that's also what society asks people to do. 515 00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:48,120 It's a very societal podcast today. 516 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:52,480 But every day, every single one is. 517 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,560 But it is like we, we talk about it all the time. 518 00:26:55,560 --> 00:27:00,040 Society in the world is set up for people who operate solely from their cortex. 519 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:06,000 And we don't like, it's, it's, you know, that's why behavioral economics is a thing. 520 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,480 Cause they used to think like, you know, humans were 1000 million percent rational. 521 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,320 And it's like, we're literally not. 522 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,360 We're the most emotional beings ever. 523 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,240 Emotional beings ever. 524 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:19,440 And it's just like the world is set up for people that act 100% logically. 525 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,680 It still is now in 2024. 526 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,360 Like what can we change that place? 527 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:25,360 Yeah. 528 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:28,560 It's crazy because we're not, we're all live in. 529 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,080 This is when we say you're living in survival mode, right? 530 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,720 You're asking, so think about this. 531 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:36,760 You're driving down the road and you're critiquing how other people are driving. 532 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,640 But yet there shouldn't be any emotion to it, right? 533 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,960 Because we all took our driver's test. 534 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,520 We all should know the rules of the road. 535 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,240 We've laid it out black and white. 536 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,720 It's this way, this way, everyone knows the rules, right? 537 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,160 Or they should. 538 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,200 But yet we still tell everybody how to drive. 539 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:55,360 And it's like, but wait, we don't know what's going on in the other person's world, right? 540 00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:58,120 That's as if we're robots and we're staying on a track. 541 00:27:58,120 --> 00:27:59,120 And there's no other option. 542 00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:02,640 And how many times does it happen to you where you're just like, whoa, sorry. 543 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,520 You're like, you know, where you don't even, like you're both hands are on the wheel, 544 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:07,520 tendon to whatever. 545 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,480 And you have a little Swervy McServer's in, like that's okay. 546 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,480 It's life. 547 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,760 Or you break a little too hard, right Danny? 548 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,960 And like it's not a big deal. 549 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,240 It's just a little whoopsie doodle. 550 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,600 You're just being a little bit of a silly goose and that's okay. 551 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:25,920 And like when other people do it, you're like, you know what I mean? 552 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:35,600 Or there's other things that happen and we just did that where we judged a car so hard. 553 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:41,000 And then we were like, oh, yeah, I'm not bad about it. 554 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:45,040 But like this is where we're just like, okay, hey, this podcast isn't telling you how to 555 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,040 be perfect. 556 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:50,240 This podcast is helping you gain awareness that you're a human and you have emotions. 557 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:51,480 And it's okay. 558 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:52,480 It's all okay. 559 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,480 It's a good thing. 560 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,360 What are you doing about it to get better? 561 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:56,800 We're not saying get perfect. 562 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,800 We're saying get better, feel better, be able to laugh it off. 563 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,240 Like is curious and adjective verb. 564 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,520 I don't know, but I got Google and I'll figure that out, you know, like and laugh your way 565 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:06,520 through it. 566 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:11,240 Or, you know, being able to be in the space of like, well, I really can't carry the one 567 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:15,760 when you tell me what your pregnancy date is because I'm not in my wheelhouse, you know? 568 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:20,520 And it's just being everyone being able just to take a moment to just say, yeah, I messed 569 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:21,520 up. 570 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,040 I, whoops. 571 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,640 Or I just judged you that's meaning more about me. 572 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,960 So it's just having some accountability behind it too. 573 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:29,960 Absolutely. 574 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,360 Versus defensiveness. 575 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:35,880 And I think that's where I get frustrated too is like, stop defending it. 576 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,880 Just look at what is the root to cause it. 577 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:38,880 Right. 578 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:39,880 Doing it, right? 579 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:40,880 Let's just see what's going on. 580 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:45,520 It's not about, it's not, it's not about the thing that happens. 581 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:46,960 It's about what's behind it. 582 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,760 So we don't want to argue and go back and forth about whatever happened. 583 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:50,760 Who did it? 584 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:51,760 Who said this? 585 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:52,760 Who did whatever? 586 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,000 It's about the other part of it, right? 587 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:59,400 And so that's where, and also not feeling like you have to walk on water and always 588 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:04,120 be like, oh, I'm discerning, I'm discerning, I'm not judging, I'm this and that, like, 589 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:05,120 live your life. 590 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,320 Just have this in the back of your mind, right? 591 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:08,320 Right. 592 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:12,560 And the easiest way to do that is to regulate your nervous system first, which is the best 593 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:13,560 way to do that. 594 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,600 You know what we're going to say, baby. 595 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,080 It is in the cortex. 596 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,200 And with that, I'll do a little outro situation. 597 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,200 Perfect. 598 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:27,000 So please subscribe and rate the pod, share it with your friends, et cetera. 599 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,560 It really, really helps us. 600 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,920 And let us know what you want to listen to because we love getting recommendations or 601 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,800 questions from people on social media. 602 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:35,800 You can leave it in the comments. 603 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,880 We like when other people can see it, but you can also DM it to us if you don't want 604 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,800 anybody to see what you're asking. 605 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:46,840 And remember to follow us on tiktok is in underscore the underscore cortex. 606 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,520 Instagram is in the cortex underscore us. 607 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:55,320 In the cortex underscore ESP, if you're a Spanish speaker, I'm reviving that little 608 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:56,320 by little. 609 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:57,800 So it's going great. 610 00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:02,240 And remember, you can send us an email at hello it in the cortex.com, our website is 611 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,560 in the cortex.com. 612 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,560 And we have a really, really fun challenge coming up. 613 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:11,560 We're not sure about the date yet, but if you have questions about the reconnects about 614 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:16,280 the subconscious beliefs, any of that piece that we talk about, whether you're a member 615 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,160 or not, you can put it in the chat in the accountability chat. 616 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:22,520 If you're a member, if not, send us a DM, send us an email. 617 00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:24,360 We really, really, really want to make this challenge. 618 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,600 It's going to be free for everybody to participate. 619 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:31,680 We really want to make it something that is going to just enrich your life. 620 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,280 It's going to be a 30 day situation. 621 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,480 It's going to be so amazing and helpful. 622 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,480 I hope and awesome. 623 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,760 And you know, if you haven't signed up yet, what are you waiting for? 624 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:41,760 What are you, what are you judging? 625 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:42,760 No, I'm just kidding. 626 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:43,760 Oh, were you judging? 627 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:48,760 Like maybe you're judging that the movements look so weird. 628 00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:49,760 Right. 629 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,160 I can't do that. 630 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:52,160 That's too weird. 631 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:53,760 Well, we invite you. 632 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:54,760 What is weird anyway? 633 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:55,760 Yeah, what is weird? 634 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:56,760 Where are we? 635 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:57,760 What is weird? 636 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:02,760 Is it an adjective or is it a verb? 637 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:06,760 It's effectively an adjective and that's what we are. 638 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:07,760 Exactly. 639 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:14,160 And so use promo code BRAINIAC for 10 bucks off your first purchase, your first payment 640 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:15,760 of our program. 641 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,760 So thank you. 642 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,760 Have a great rest of your day. 643 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:25,760 Also, if you don't sign up, no judgment, you know what I'm saying? 644 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:26,760 Just discernment. 645 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:48,760 What can we do different to get you to buy it?