Hi, and welcome to the In the Cortex podcast.
We are your hosts.
I'm Paloma Garcia.
And I am Dani Pericone.
And we're the founders of In the Cortex, an online community with programs that show people
the tools that they need to change their lives through brain reorganization.
No medication, just movement.
When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start
to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex.
Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life.
And now on to today's episode.
Hello, and welcome to another episode of our podcast.
We are talking this week all about resistance to doing the work and also what we envision
when we're going about it.
So there's two parts to this, and we're going to break it down so we can really help you
along this week of just understanding, hey, sometimes this stuff can just get hard and
life can get in the way.
And there's times where we're fully on that ITC train and we're fully committed.
And then there's times where we completely fall off.
And we can't just get ourselves to open our journal or even do a creeping lap.
And we just want to let you know it's totally cool.
We get you.
And this is what this episode's all about.
So tune in.
Always do your brain work while you're listening in.
And we're going to dive into it.
So let's talk about resistance.
What does it even mean to be resistant to something?
It just means that you're not really ready, right, ultimately.
And it means that there's part of you that just no matter what you try, and we've all
been there where you're like, I tried to do my schedule the day before.
I tried to wake up early and do this and that and blah, blah, blah, and you're just not
going to do it.
There's part of your brain that's like, absolutely not.
It's so frustrating.
I mean, I know a lot of the people listening have been there, right, where you're just
like, I just want to eat healthy.
I just want to do my brain work in the morning.
I just want to do this thing.
But there's just a part of your own self.
It's just like, no, that's not going to happen.
And it can be really confusing because you're like, where is that even coming from?
Like I want to do this change.
I want to feel better.
I want to continue on this train, but there's just something that's stopping me, right?
And so ultimately, the way that you and I interpret it always is that you're just not
ready.
There's part of your nervous system that's not there yet, right?
And I think that, you know, especially when you're doing the brain work and all of our
program, really, a lot of it is just changing such a huge part of who you've been for so
long, right?
You're changing your regulation, you're changing kind of your standard to where you want to
be.
You're changing your baseline of what life is like.
And so a lot of us get stuck in this moment of like, why can't I move forward, right?
It's kind of like the plateau, but this is different because the plateau is like, I'm
doing it, I'm doing it, I'm doing it, don't feel any changes.
This is like, I genuinely don't want to do it.
And it's just your nervous system really responding naturally to like, there's been so many changes.
I don't want to change that much that fast, right?
And so because it can be too much.
100%.
Yeah, we were just talking about this before we got on was like, if you go to a buffet
and you try to eat all the food in one go, like you literally can't.
You don't have a body that can hold it all at once.
And that's the same thing for life.
You just can't do all the changing all at once.
It has to be this gradual process of slowly making changes and tweaking, listening to
your body and saying, am I ready for this right now?
And so many times you and I sit down to go do a project that we have and we're both just
like, we're not there right now.
And otherwise, and then we'd be like beating our heads against the wall and like trying
to force ourselves through it.
But now we've learned so much that we're we're not there.
And we it would it would be better if we just took a step back, worked on ourselves, maybe
go inward, depends on where we are with a lot of things, and then approach it when we're
in like a more vibrant and excited space.
So the resistance is your key to understanding like, hey, I need to just not beat myself
up for not doing enough, but really ask myself why?
Like why do I feel resistant?
Because it's going to unlock for you a block.
It's going to help you see what part you're resistant to.
And like my favorite part of knowing when you're in a resistance space is when someone presents
an idea to you and you're like immediately know.
Like, yeah.
Like, nope, not even.
Nope, don't even want to address it.
And so you just have such a strong like, like, I'm not ready yet to talk about this.
And it can be frustrating when you're in relationships and like one partner has a lot of awareness
and the other one doesn't.
And you give ideas and they're like, nope, nope, nope, it's not that it's definitely
not that.
And so that's where you have to work on if you're in a relationship, holding space for
that person to like figure it out when they're ready and knowing that.
So there's that big piece of whoever you're with.
It could be your kids, it could be a partner.
And it's just knowing, OK, I need to work on holding space and allowing them to figure
this out when they're ready, because how many times have we talked about something to somebody
over and over and then maybe a year later, they're like, oh, I get it now.
And you're like, I've been saying this for a year.
And OK, cool.
So true.
It happens to take that personally, too.
You know, you're like, how did you get to you 7000 times?
Like, why are you just doing it now?
And it's happened to you and me so many times with ITC when people are like, oh, somebody
told me I did your program.
And so now I'm going to check it out.
You're like, oh, I've been telling you for years.
Yeah.
Great.
Jump on in.
They weren't ready.
They just weren't ready.
And so I think you and I have gotten to a point where we don't take that personally anymore.
But it's hard to do that.
Because it's like the brain is only going to listen to what it's able to.
Right.
Like, there's just stuff that you're genuinely your brain isn't even ready to process it,
to even open itself up to that idea.
Right.
And so that's happened to you and me a lot.
But I think a lot of people listening can think of many examples that they've had where
they've been in that position where they're trying to tell somebody about something, whether
it's about self-development or not, right?
Whether it's a new restaurant, whatever, a new movie or something.
Program.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, it's so funny how we just are just not ready sometimes.
And then also, I think looking at the part of ourselves that's not ready is a big deal
too.
It's a big component as well.
Because that's kind of what I was saying at the beginning is that there is a piece of
you that subconsciously is avoiding this for a reason.
And so you might not always know the reason.
Sometimes you're just like, okay, part of me just really doesn't want to do this right
now.
And so what you do is you take a break.
That's the whole point of our program is that it's lifetime access.
So if you don't do it for a couple of weeks, that's fine.
You won't feel the changes for those weeks, but that's okay because you're letting your
nervous system kind of fall into a new level of regulation.
Right?
Because you never know, it might be overwhelmed.
It might be tired.
You might be feeling overly sensitive.
You might be going through a big transition in your life and your nervous system is like,
I can't also do this at the same time.
Right?
And so that's where you have to work with yourself and hold space for that part of yourself
that's not ready.
Because one day they are going to be ready and it's going to be like, boom, right?
It's happened to you and me so many times.
To our members where they're like, why didn't I even think of this before?
We're like, that's because that was your brain.
Right?
We just got an email yesterday from somebody who was like, Hey, I signed up a million years
ago and now I'm ready to start.
Just want to let you guys know.
We're like, great.
You know, it's really, really important to not beat ourselves up with that kind of stuff
and just understand that these are changes that are here for life.
It's not just a program.
It's not just a thing like, Oh, I did this thing for six months and now I'm done.
Right?
It truly is a lifestyle.
And so understanding what the ins and outs are always going to be of that.
Right?
And we just like, you know, with anything we go through ups and downs, we go through
ins and outs.
Right?
And that's, that's really important to always, always be very mindful of that with ourselves.
Totally.
And it's like the simple law of physics is the harder you push on something, the harder
it pushes back.
And so resistance, if you don't honor it and see it right away, you can keep pushing, pushing,
pushing.
And then what happens a lot of times you go into burnout or then you go into fall outs
of relationships or you like so many things come out of that because the energy has to
go somewhere.
So if you don't learn to see that, like maybe I'm pushing and this happened to me, like
on my own personal journey with my kids and doing brain work, it was so important for
me to not push on them, but to get me.
And then it's been in like every relationship I encounter, like ones that I've had for 30
years where I'm like, I just wish you would do your brain work because I just know all
of the things that you're struggling with daily would dissipate and your life would
get easier.
And then having to be able to go into that space of like, okay, the harder I keep pushing
on it, the more that person is going to keep pushing back and saying, no, I don't want
to do it.
And then once you remove all the resistance and truly becoming unattached, that's like
the key that's like when you read the book, Letting Go is when you just can unattach,
detach yourself from the outcome, right?
Where you're like, you're on your own journey.
And I've experienced this so many times now where instead of pushing somebody harder into
something, I work on detaching and just going, okay, this is their journey.
My journey is mine.
Theirs is theirs.
And even if I'm a parent and I'm like, I'm in charge of your journey, I'm ultimately
not I'm here to guide.
And so when you can shift into that space of I am here to support you when you're ready
for me, but I'm going to go work on myself.
That's all I can do right now.
I can go focus on me.
And then if I hit my point of resistance and I take a step back, I look at it right.
And eventually you'll get to a point where the resistance completely lifts on one area.
And then you'll have resistance in a different area.
One area that's important to mention because it's never going to fully, fully lift because
once again, you're humans.
It's just always going to be something right.
And I think, you know, going back to the reason that our program is designed the way it is,
I meant to mention this earlier, we worked at places where and we used to work this way.
When it was just doing me in San Diego, where it was like we would force these kids to do
the movements.
I know we've talked about this on the podcast before.
And I know we bring this up a lot.
It's just like every time I think about it, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe we do
that.
I know you would tell the parents like you have they have to do it.
It's a non negotiable every single day.
If they don't do it, they don't get this or that.
Like it really started to become even like just a negative way more resistance for these
kids.
Exactly.
And it became very negative.
So of course they still were going to see the differences in certain sense in a certain
sense.
But you know that the kid who's being forced to do this negatively and you know that the
changes that they're going to see are not exactly going to they're not going to stick
and they're not going to be like real.
Right.
So you're forcing and they have a negative connection with this thing that they're doing,
even though it's for their own good.
And so that's where I think what you said earlier is so important is that parents, I
think, are the ones that struggle with this the most because who is your biggest responsibility
in the world?
Your child.
Right.
And so you want to be like, but do this.
It's going to be so good for you.
I know it.
I did it myself.
It's so good for me.
And you know, it's just if they're not ready for it, they're just not ready for it.
And I know it's so frustrating and so hard to be like, but I but I bought this program,
but I just started, but I wanted to do this for the next, you know, for the summer.
This was my plan.
And if it doesn't work out, you have to find what will work.
Right.
So that's where we can get more into the strategies a little bit later.
But I think also, like you said, removing the pressure of like this child represents
something about me.
Right.
They are their own person.
And I understand that that's really hard for a lot of parents to to get to.
But the moment you do get to that point of being like, oh, of course, I love them and
I protect them and they're my family and they're everything.
But they don't represent anything about me.
Like detaching that right from yourself.
Children will model your behavior.
Right.
So as and when and we say this all the time, if you're in a good space, you're regulated,
you're aligned as a parent, your children are more likely be regulated and aligned.
If you're dysregulated and out of alignment, then they'll be more dysregulated and out
of alignment.
But it doesn't work the other way around.
Right.
So like if a parent's behavior is one thing, they're not attaching it to is that what you're
saying?
Like if like a representation of the child.
But I do think that it exists.
Right.
So like there's so much of parenting and I've experienced this because my children will
say things that I'm like, where did that come from?
And then I will finally look in a mirror and I'm like, it came from me.
Holy cow.
I didn't even know I was doing that.
I didn't have.
So you gain a lot of self-awareness because your kids will reflect back to you what you're
doing.
And so I do think there is a massive element of parenting that needs to have the parent
looking at their behaviors because our kids are modeling them.
And so there's so many times I meet kids and it's a two part thing that kid could have
a really disorganized brain and then they could be highlighting all the negative behaviors
that their parents doing.
Right.
And then they could be taking something that their parents says and bringing it to a different
event and like then they express that and you're like, where did you learn that?
And so oftentimes it does come down to the parent and it's such a subconscious thing.
Right.
So that's where we have to model what we want our kids to do.
Because how many times do I tell my kids to go clean up their room and how many times
do they always listen to me?
It's a smaller percentage.
So when I model a clean room, when I model how to clean up after myself, that's what
they're seeing.
They're not doing as you're telling them to do.
You're doing as you're doing.
Right.
And so there is that piece of it, but not always is it the case.
Right.
There are kids that do have a lot of dysregulation and what's happening is it's triggering in
the parents like, I don't know what to do with this.
I don't know how to help you.
And that often escalates the child into more of that.
But back to the resistance piece, like when we would and I still cringe when I think about
what we would do in the past of how we were trained to like get kids to do certain movements
and how they would scream and cry it out.
And I'm like, I'm so grateful that I have learned a different approach of being more
at peace and ease.
So many times I can feel this in my own system where I'm like today, I need to focus on me.
So if I start asking my kids and I enroll them in my brain work, I already know my bandwidth
can't handle it.
And I'm like, if I start, it's going to turn into like a pushback and then it's going to
turn into more resistance of them wanting to do it.
When I really work on me being excited and I talk about my why, I talk about why I love
doing my brain work.
I don't actually love the act of creeping.
Well, I do now, but I didn't in the beginning.
But when I actually like think about creeping gives me the ability to pause.
Creeping gives me the ability to not have those reactions.
Creeping gives me the ability to stay present and mindful and like really enjoy life for
what it is.
If I hold that in my mind while I'm doing my creeping, I have less resistance because
I'm thinking about why I'm doing this, why, why it's helping me.
And then I talk incessantly with it, with my kids about why they're doing it.
And we never point people out in like a shameful way of like, Hey, that person that just kind
of lost their cool at the grocery store.
We talk about like why that's happening, not like that person, such a horrible person.
We talk about why it's happening.
So then they start to see other humans of like, oh, they're having a massive human emotion,
like take them over.
And the reason we do our brain work is so those emotions don't overtake us.
So I love to talk about the why with my kids.
We talk about it all the time.
And then when my kids like when Axel had his massive baseball growth year, he was like,
it's because I did my brain work, mom, right?
It's because I did my brain work.
And then like Siggy's learning how to swim.
And we're like, the more brain work you do, the more you can overcome it because really
it's all in your mind.
It's amazing what your mind can do.
So if you can start talking to yourself in a really positive way of why you're doing
this and why it's connecting to make your life easier, it just gets easier.
It reduces a lot of the resistance.
So we encourage you.
And that's why we always, yeah, that's why we always encourage our members to do a gratitude
journal and just like be grateful for all the change that they're feeling.
They're feeling and also talk about their changes with people or write them in their
journal, right?
Like any small thing, even if you're just like, oh, I normally would have been so annoyed
that my husband said this and I'm not today.
Write it down.
Remember it because it's all about the small things.
Some people think that it's going to be like this huge, you know, we have two types of
people.
One of them is a person who's like afraid of any kind of change.
You're like, oh, no, I don't want my life to change.
I don't want to do this.
This is scary.
I'm not ready for it.
And then we have the other kind who is like, give it to me.
I'm ready for everything to change.
I'm ready for it.
Right.
And so what happens is, of course, typically because that's, you know, the lessons that
we have to learn in life for the person who's not ready for change, they're going to see
the most insane, huge life changing, you know, behaviors with their brain work.
Right.
Like they're going to everything's going to change for them.
And for the people who are like, give it to me.
I'm so ready for the change.
The changes are going to be so subtle.
Right.
Not always, but a lot of the time.
And so that's where the lesson is, is what are you focusing on?
What where what are you envisioning for yourself?
Right.
Like if you envision this change of this, everything's going to be different.
It's easy to feed into like magical thinking and being like, well, when I do my brain work,
everything will be better and everything will be perfect.
And so when everything isn't perfect after four weeks, you're like, what's going on?
But then once you look back, you're like, wait, I didn't snap on my kids.
I was able to have a conversation with this person.
I didn't have road rage yesterday.
I'm sleeping so much better.
Like all the little things you're like, wait, that is the change.
Right.
And then also where it's important to look at, like, what do you envision for your life?
Right.
And that's why we want to talk about that with the resistance, because it goes hand
in hand.
Part of what resisting has to do with what you're envisioning for, not just this program,
but for you as a person and looking really at the nitty gritty.
Right.
Because a lot of the times that's where we're going to truly see the differences.
It's just in the way it's in the way you wake up.
It's in your mood in the morning and throughout the day.
It's in the funny thing that somebody said and you laughed instead of being annoyed about
it.
Right.
Like it's just small, small, small things often.
It's not always going to be this huge turnaround, like with Axel's baseball thing or like a
huge, you know, with you when you stopped, stopped having anxiety attacks.
Right.
Like it's not always going to be that huge thing.
Right.
So it doesn't always have to be these massive things.
But one of our members just said something that was so like eye opening because she was
talking to her therapist and she was like, yeah, Danny keeps saying there's going to
be this shift and this big change, but it's really the absence of something.
So like, and that was me.
Right.
It was like I all of a sudden stopped having anxiety.
It just went away.
And I was like, how is this possible?
Right.
And then the reactions just went away and they turned into responses and they turned
into taking a pause.
So it's like you lose a lot of things that are creating a lot of friction in your life.
And it's so cool because like you just said, our brains are primed and wired to find what's
wrong.
Right.
And oftentimes when you look at your resistance, what are you resisting?
Right.
It's it is it getting out of comfort zone.
Right.
And you know, and you're still like, but and then there's that self sabotage that'll kick
in and it's like, even if I do that, I might still fail.
Right.
Because you're connected to the negative.
It's a self preservation mode.
And so when you start to really look at what am I actually resisting and why it'll help
you start to figure out, OK, there could be this block here.
And then when you do your brain work and you do your crawling, it'll help you be able to
have the ability to follow through on things.
So there's so much happening with your subconscious, with your conscious mind, with your actual
physical brain work.
There's so much interwoven into it.
So we always tell you really take the time like Paloma said, write down all the positive
things, talk about your why.
Why are you doing this?
And really ask other people like, have you seen a difference in me?
Like, do you see anything shifting in me?
Because when you get that outside feedback coming to you, you're like, oh, yeah, I am
showing up a lot calmer.
I am acting this way differently.
And that's why we have a second person assessment in our programs, because we love it when because
we don't see a lot of the things in ourselves that other people see.
And so that's where it's really cool to start to get that feedback from other people.
And so in terms of coming up with some strategies for when you do feel the resistance and you're
like, OK, I want to get around this.
How do I do it?
There's definitely a few things that you can do.
First thing, like Danny was saying, is just always remind yourself why you're doing this,
right?
Just why, why, why, why, why?
And write it down somewhere.
Put it somewhere you can see it in the morning on your mirror.
When you're brushing your teeth, you can be like, OK, this is why I'm doing this program.
And when we get more into the specifics or more concrete things, there's something called
temptation bundling, which I love.
And we actually like to call it fundal bundling because temptation is a little out there.
Thank you, Michael Scott.
We want to make it so you have something that you really love to do that's really motivating
to you.
You're bundling it together with this, with the brain work.
So you find a show that you really, really, really, really love and you're only watching
it right after you do your brain work or during.
I mean, we don't always want to have a screen in front of us.
But if that's the only way you're going to do it, then it's better than nothing.
Or you have this amazing podcast that you love.
You only do it.
You only listen to it when you're doing your brain work.
Same, it can be like a board game or for kids, it can be like the funnest thing ever.
They love doing pillow fights.
And so they only get to do them when they're doing their brain work.
Or a specific blanket ride that kids love.
Whatever the favorite thing is, like talking to a specific friend that lives far away,
you only do it when you're doing your brain work.
That kind of stuff is going to make it easier for you to start to actually love the brain
or start to love the brain work.
Like Jenny said, it's not always easy to love creeping, but you'll start to love it because
you're associating it.
Your brain is associating it with something that really already loves.
100%.
And this is like, so the same thing too, is so many times people always will immediately
have all these excuses for us as to why they don't want to dive into this work.
And we've made it like, we've taken that resistance obstacle and lowered it so, so low.
Our program is so affordable.
And then once they realize the money excuse doesn't work on our program anymore, then
they go for, I don't have time.
And we're like, well, what do you spend your time on?
And I'm like, cause I see, maybe I follow you on social media.
You spend a lot of time doing a lot of things.
Like, so is it just not a priority for you yet?
Right?
So it's about, right?
Cause time is all an illusion.
We all have time if we want to make the time for it.
That is literally undeniable in every aspect of life because we all take the time to sit
down and relax every once in a while, unless you literally work five jobs and you, you
really don't have time.
And I mean, I'm working two jobs.
I have two small kids.
You know, I just keep taking on more things, but I can still make time for my brain work
because it's such an important priority for me.
So this isn't to make you feel bad, but it's just to kind of call you out.
If you're like, I just don't have time.
It's like, okay, get us on the phone and let's use a free 15 minute call right now and tell
us what your schedule looks like and tell us how you don't have time.
And then we'll be able to find a 20 minute window in there.
And it doesn't have to be 20 consecutive minutes.
It could be five, five, five, five, right?
It could be broken up throughout your day.
So it's completely something that is all an illusion.
So you can make it work with, you know, a great time blocking technique.
And this is what I've been having to work on more with just work stuff from 11 to 12.
I'm focused on emails from this to this.
I'm focused on that.
So it does require like, this is such a catch 22 with an disorganized brain is you do need
to have some ability to plan in order to get it in.
And so if you're finding yourself struggling to get it in and find the time for it, drop
it into the WhatsApp group.
Let us know what your challenge is.
Book a free 15 minute call.
We offer this to our members just to get a jumpstart.
Sometimes we also offer one on one coaching and so many members have gone so much further
in their program because they're booking the one on one calls and then they're getting
specified help that's just in their lives.
And then they have more accountability with myself or Paloma and the people who book the
calls take themselves to like the next level.
So yes, we highly recommend investing in it because you're saving yourself so much time,
money and energy by getting ahead of it in that sense.
So those are two really important things.
There's also a lot of resistance that comes up with kids.
And yes, when I'm working and when Paloma works with kids, but when we both work with
kids that are not our own, it's so much easier.
It's obviously not emotional at all, but when I work with my own kids, I would recognize
that there would be emotions like just do it.
Come on.
What's the big deal?
And I'm not going to lie.
I had a lot of those moments too, because I'm a human.
But the more I worked on regulating me and the more I just said, you know what, I have
to take care of me first, but the oxygen mask on me, my resistance with my kids dropped
drastically.
Now, me and the kids get up in the morning, we come in, we do our brain work.
Boom, boom, boom.
There's no fighting.
There's no whining.
I do allow my kids to have some ownership in it.
And maybe my daughter goes, you know what, Mom, today I just want to do five creeps,
five crawls and five exploding or 10 exploding rocks.
I'm like, OK, cool.
I'll take that.
And I'm not going to I'm not going to push her on certain things because her being a
brachioradial cortex.
If we're having a lot of like I walk into the room, I don't know why I just walked in
here.
I'm fighting with my brother over a lot of things.
And I'm like, we need to amp it up because exactly I can see that the behavior is not
matching and we need to give you more support.
And that's where you you can ask kids why, like especially when they're at an age where
they can communicate that, like why don't you want to do it?
Like genuinely tell me what's the reason.
Right.
And a lot of the time they'll a lot of the time they'll just say because it's dumb.
I don't like it because it's not for you know, I don't need it anymore or whatever.
Like, OK, sure.
And that's where you you really get really clear on the examples.
Right.
And so the next time you hear the whining, the next time you hear the fighting, the next
time they're resisting cleaning up their murder, you're like, you're sure about that with the
brain work?
And obviously you're not doing it in like a mean way.
Like ha ha ha.
I caught you.
But just showing them the examples.
And that's why we always say to parents, you have to be super consistent about letting
them know when you're seeing the positive changes, just like you want somebody else
to tell you as an adult.
You have to tell them, oh, my gosh, you just cleaned up your room and I didn't have to
ask you.
That is amazing.
That is your cortex.
That's your brain.
We're coming in.
So they start to connect the dots and they're not always going to care about that because
they're kids.
It's like, hi, I'm seven.
I don't care about that.
You think I think about my my my long term success.
I'm just thinking right now about playing Minecraft.
Like lady, you know, so that's also where you have to sometimes be like, OK, this is
not choose your battles.
Right.
This is not the moment and you know your kids so well, you know, when they're going to be
receptive to that and when they're not.
So if they do need to take a little break a week, two weeks, they're going to feel the
dysregulation to be ready to come back on onto the onto the brain work train.
And that's also, you know, you and I were talking about this yesterday is that it's
funny with siblings.
It's like sometimes one is on and one is off.
And it's like they take turns.
It's so funny.
Like I would love to like look into this a little bit more because I'm sure a lot of
people have studied it, but it's such a common like human thing that we do.
It's like, oh, she's putting on a pressure on mom, so I'm not going to do it.
And then you're like, wait, now actually, I'm ready to put on some pressure.
It's like it's safe now for me to go ahead and release a little bit.
It's almost like they know it's like we're a unit, right?
There's like that symbiotic thing happening in the home where like, you know, if one person's
taking a lot of the resources, then we have to split within the tribe of like not everyone
can fall apart because then our tribe would fall apart.
Right.
So if there's like that role, like if there's like that space where it's like, oh, it's
my turn to kind of let go a little bit.
And actually, now that we say this and we're kind of talking about it, I see it with siblings.
I see it with even partners like partners out me and like Sam, you and I, too.
Sometimes you'll be losing it.
I'm like, yeah, totally.
Like, that's just the thing about being a human. Right.
And it's like and as we partnerships are so great because then you have that with each
other.
It's like we all can support.
It's like we're all trying to work as a team.
And we say that all the time.
Me and my kids talk about being a team all the time because we are a team.
One person will be lower energy and then we have to step up.
And I just noticed, like, as I've been shifting more and more, I can see now in my fiancee
where I was like, oh, he was like my executive functioner.
He was doing this and this.
Now that I'm in a really good place, I'm like, oh, actually, I think it's my turn to be the
person doing all these things.
And he's kind of going through some stuff.
So it's like that happens in every relationship.
And so noticing it is really, really important.
And I was going to add something about the kid piece is making sure I forgot what my
train of thought was on that because we were talking about I'm drawing Lizzie.
Well, I wanted to say that I think it's just it's also so much easier when you're more
regulated to see the other person's dysregulation.
And so that's when you're like, OK, I am actually going to pull back.
I also think when I was little back to when I was little and when my brother would be
like having a meltdown or having a hard time or whatever, I'd be like, well, I'm the good
child.
You know, because they also kind of get into that where you're like, look at me, mother,
did you need some help?
Yeah, it's all the way.
I'll do it, mother.
Don't worry.
And so you step into this.
Look at me.
I was like, OK, I'll write.
And so it's also kind of that piece.
I see that.
So he does that all the time right now where she's like, oh, Axel, you just have to take
a deep breath.
And I was like, where was your deep breath?
Where are you?
You know, but I just the lazy worked, y'all.
I just drew it.
And I remember I was going to say because we're talking about young kids right now.
But you know what?
I just really wanted to talk about because it wouldn't be an episode on our podcast if
we didn't talk about society's expectations.
And so this applies to also teenagers, because I am also with two teenagers and I'm watching
kind of like a PSA that I think we need to talk about.
And I'm seeing it right now because I'm seeing a couple of high schoolers that are just graduating
and they're about to turn 18 or they might have already turned 18.
And the world's like, so what are you doing with your life?
And this is a PSA.
Your brain's not even fully developed to 26.
How challenging is it to figure out your whole entire life story by the time you're 18 and
like knowing what you're going to go study in college, what you're going to go do?
We were talking about that the other day too, where it was like, I had no clue what I wanted
to do because I didn't even know this exists.
We didn't even know this existed when we were on our journey to college.
And I was like, I don't know.
I like this.
So maybe I'll go explore that.
What if we could create a world where kids could go take more time rather than just going
straight into college and then having to get a career and having to figure their life out?
What if we created more space for kids to like, number one, obviously do their brain
work so they're like really tuned in with themselves and then did a lot of subconscious
work obviously.
But then started really going into like, what do I want to do with my life?
If you're finding yourself hitting a lot of resistant areas, we dive into that in level
two.
We're going to take you into the subconscious.
We're going to help you unblock those things.
But for right now, we just need you to double down on your brain work.
Keep going with it.
Trust us.
It will get better.
It will get easier.
Use the WhatsApp group.
Facebook group, not as poppin', but you can always drop us in there.
Yeah, it's still there.
Hit us up on our emails, book coaching calls, because it will help you get through this.
And we promise you in just a few more weeks, once you're on to level two, you're going
to see even more things.
And now all of our members right now in the WhatsApp group are like, I love the Reconnects.
Oh my gosh, Reconnects are changing everything.
And they're hopping off in there talking about how much they are shifting things.
And people who didn't think that muscle checking was that big of a deal has changed their lives
and all this cool stuff.
So we will continue to hold space for you and just promise it gets easier.
It does get easier.
So with that said, please follow us on whatever, wherever you get your podcasts.
Make sure to subscribe and rate the podcast.
It really helps us reach new listeners.
Also, share an episode with a friend, share whichever your favorite one is, get them on
the Brainwork train.
Also you can follow us on TikTok at in underscore, the underscore cortex or Instagram in the
cortex underscore US and for Spanish speakers in the cortex underscore ESP.
I'm actually going to post a video today, believe it or not.
So it's going to start popping more.
And remember, you can always email us at hello and in the cortex.com.
It's just Danny and me.
We respond to every email to every email personally.
And we are coming up with a fun summer challenge very soon.
We will have details about that within the next couple of weeks, maybe week.
And so if you have questions about reconnect, we're going to start posting a little bit
more about this on our Instagram stories.
And if anything about that piece of the program, whether you're a member or not, is still kind
of foreign to you, let us know.
Send us all of your questions.
You can DM them to us.
You can email them to us, whatever it is.
You can book a 15 minute call and ask us there.
But we really want to open up this part of our program to more people.
And anyway, it's going to be super exciting and we will give you more details later on.
And remember, if you're ready to sign up, you can use promo code brainiac to get 10 bucks
off your first payment of a program.
And thank you so much.
We will see you next week.
Thank you.