Hi, and welcome to the In The Cortex podcast.
We are your hosts.
I'm Paloma Garcia.
And I am Danny Paraconi.
And we're the founders of In The Cortex, an online community with programs that show
people the tools that they need to change their lives, their brain reorganization, no
medication, just movement.
When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start
to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex.
Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life.
And now on to today's episode.
Hello everybody, we are here together in Valley Center, California.
Yeah.
Today, we are talking about something that everybody has been through if they've tried
to make a change in their life, try to implement a new habit, a new routine, something different
that's usually the things that are best for you are the hardest ones, let's be honest.
And so we're going to be talking about plateaus.
When you hit a plateau in your self-development and your growth and of course in your brainwork,
if you've been doing the program or if you've done the program, you might have felt this
way maybe a couple of times.
You know, it feels like why is this not, why am I not constantly growing?
And that's kind of the feeling that we get, right?
So we're going to get into that today.
Yeah, I love that.
And one of our favorite things is to talk about the contrast because that's where we
have to appreciate both sides of it.
That's why we always talk about the getting Yang and that's why we love the black and
white because there's so much contrast in everything we do and you have to have the
lowest to appreciate the highs.
Agreed.
And this is also what happens when we hit a plateau.
So in the first part of the program, we introduce what's called the creep and the creep is what
is developing the ponds.
The ponds is naturally developing when you're a baby from zero to five months of life.
So if there's any interruption in that or you don't get enough of it, that's the first
main movement we introduced to you.
And so if you're someone who starts off with a lower development there, like a 10%, you
feel a lot of changes really quickly in our program.
So then you kind of get used to the idea of like, oh my gosh, everything's just going
to keep changing for the better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you hit that plateau where all of a sudden your creep now regulates and now
you're hanging out at a good 75, 90%.
And then all of a sudden you realize like, wait, I actually am not feeling those big
drastic changes like I used to.
And that is also connected to literally all aspects of life.
It could be if you're growing a business like us.
We feel like B plateau a lot, but it's just a natural rhythm to hit.
And it's a moment where we're encouraging you just to keep going because it's your brain
still now adjusting to all the new changes and it's really starting to settle in and
that's going to be a really good anchor point for where your baseline sits.
So if you do hit the plateau, this is something that's resonating with you.
We're going to be putting it into the program exactly where you'll be feeling the plateau.
So just know that it's a sign to keep going and there's something bigger and better coming,
but you need to continue to grow that container of being able to hold that space for what
the next big breakthrough is going to be.
Well, that's the thing is that we also just get so used to our changes.
And so that becomes our new reality.
So we're like, I just want to keep seeing more and more and more.
And that's where I think part of it is like society.
She had to say it obviously.
Because we just think that we're going to always like get better and better and better
and better.
And it's like, of course you're going to get better, but it's not always going to be
linear and it's not always going to be like stop.
There's an eyelash on your upper lip.
Like literally.
That was on your upper lip.
I couldn't help it.
Sorry, she had an eyelash.
Make a wish.
Oh, thank you.
Sorry.
Anyway, anyway, so we feel like we always have to keep growing and keep improving and keep
getting better.
And so when you're not in a state of improving, you feel like you're losing or like you're
messing up or like something's wrong or something like that.
And it's more the expectation that's unrealized.
The expectation that we come to like every single day has to be better than the last.
When we're doing something new, it's just doesn't make any sense.
Like we're human.
Sometimes you have more things going on.
Sometimes you have more thoughts in your mind.
Sometimes you've got better sleep and sometimes you've got worse sleep.
Right?
I mean, it's really not realistic again to feel that everything's always going to be
better, better, better, better, improving, improving, improving, improving.
And also, like you were saying, the brain and the body have to take some time sometimes
to like actually process what's going on, right?
Because we talk about this in the program, like the time of expansion, the time of contraction.
We've talked about this, I think before on the podcast, right?
Like you need to contract in order to be able to continue to expand.
If you're constantly expanding, expanding, expanding, growing, growing, growing, where
are you going to go?
You're going to explode, right?
So that's kind of like one of the rhythms of life.
And the brain needs that time to consolidate what it's learning.
And we've all, for example, we have much more patience for kids because it's much more
studied in the sense, right?
So lots of kids go into like a feeding regression or sleep regression when they're little and
you know, doctors have prepped you for it.
You know, it's coming.
So you're like, oh, okay, just in a regression.
But then when we experience the same thing, when we're adding something new to our lives,
we don't like it and we feel like it's bad and there's something wrong, right?
We've all been there with like, when you're going like on a new exercise or like health,
you know, diet, eating regime, where you get to that point where you're like, it's not
working, blah, blah, blah, and you discount all the work you already did and all the changes
you already felt and saw.
Even if it's physical changes, right?
You're gaining muscle, you're losing fat, whatever it is.
It's so easy for the brain to tuck itself into.
It's still not working.
It's still not working, right?
Yeah.
We hear that all the time.
And I'm so glad you said that because it's really about building that trust muscle up
and trusting that you're on your path.
Yeah.
Sometimes like, I honestly, I think I now, whenever I have days that are off, I just
just sitting and go, okay, I have to have this day to appreciate the good days.
And then when I'm in those really good days, I'm like, I have to really highlight all those
good moments to keep myself going.
And another thing you brought up is when our brain is in that space, if I want to improve,
we're going to look for the things that aren't working.
Yeah.
And we're going to keep pushing for, oh, I still don't have this done yet or my kid
is still doing this.
And so that's where we say that's where you have to work really hard and stop and focus
on what is working.
If we do this all the time, all the time, creating our own growth and everything.
Yeah.
Like when we are in our space of building this business and helping people see this, we're
on the other side of it too, or we have to stop and go, but wait, there's so many things
that have shifted.
Exactly.
Just because we're not like millionaires all over the world yet, we're like, why isn't
it work?
Why aren't more people wanting to do it?
We're like, well, we have so many amazing members right now.
And so many people that do the work.
And so that's even a reminder for us.
And that's really all aspects of life.
So that's what we're going to encourage you to do when you get into that plateau space,
get to the journal and just write down the changes you have experienced.
Write down what's working for you.
Write down what you've seen and it could be the smallest little things of when you're
sharing with your brother, he moved his foot when something was about to fall on it.
He's like, that was a change.
Yeah.
And that's a big change because having something land on your foot could break your toes and
bum you out real big.
It hurts.
It hurts really bad.
So now it's about looking for what's working.
So on that note, can you find a few things that you're grateful for?
Yes.
I'm grateful for the weather today.
It's beautiful and nice.
And I'm grateful that we finally got to do a really cool in person workshop because we've
been wanting to do that for so long and it went so well.
That was really rad.
It was our first time of us getting together.
Yeah.
So it was cool.
Which we should be, and I want to do more of that.
We're building more of that in person community.
You're doing it in Mexico City.
I'm out here in San Diego doing it and it's about intentionally creating the community
that you want to keep growing.
Thanks for asking that I'm grateful.
I'm just joking.
I was ungrateful of you actually.
I am so grateful that you're here and that we have this together.
We've been together now for many, many years and our relationship is so unique.
It's unlike anything I ever say because when people say who's Paloma, I'm like, she's my
business partner and it means more than just friend.
Yeah, exactly.
You know what it means?
It's so interwoven into our lives.
It's like you and I know each other so much.
It's ridiculous.
And you're like my walking therapist all the time where you call out all my stuff and I'm
like, you're right.
But I don't have any charge to it when you say anything that I need to see.
And I'm grateful that we get to share this information with people and that life can
be easier and we get to experience it daily.
So that just helps us go, okay, that's right.
That's why we're doing this.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
And that's where when we hit those plateaus, just think about those things and we're like,
okay, yeah, you're right.
We've gotten this far.
We've been doing this.
We have all these amazing members that are constantly sharing their stories and the changes
they're feeling and all the things that are happening.
And so, you know, it's totally normal to get to that point of frustration also because
as a human, you always want to, like the brain always wants to find, first of all, all you
want things to say the same, right?
So it wants like predictability.
Predictability wants to go back into the old routine.
So it's also going to make you feel that it's also going to make you not want to see the
changes and want to focus on the fact that you're not constantly growing or whatever.
Right.
But that's the fight or flight mode kicking back in and being like, no, it's not changed
anything.
Stay the same.
And the other piece is that the brain is also always looking for challenges.
We need challenges.
We, again, our brain is designed the way it was still develops as the way it was.
It did 500 years ago when we were like truly having to get ourselves into survival situations
all the time to eat, to not get killed by a rival, you know, whatever tribe that was
on the other side of the mountains or whatever.
Like we were always having to find these situations that we had to fight through.
So that's also why it is human nature.
Right.
If you look back at history, that's what it is.
It's a bunch of challenges that people would put in front of themselves and they get through
them.
And then there's another one, right?
So it's also the brain being like, okay, what's next?
Like I got to this level.
I want more.
Yeah.
So that's where it's actually a good thing, right?
That frustration comes from you knowing that you can go further and you can just do more
and be more and be more aligned with who you are.
And so that's where you're like, okay, let me see what the next part of it is.
Right.
And that's why we say keep going.
Whether it's talking about brain work, obviously that's what we're talking about.
But even if it's something else, right, that's in your life, like those are the moments when
you look at what is it that I'm seeking.
Am I seeking to go back?
Cause it's my brain trying to sabotage me.
Am I seeking for a different kind of challenge?
Am I just totally lost in the difficulty of it and forgetting all the amazing positive
changes, right?
And look at, look at it and see what you can do to get yourself back on to the horse.
It's really a reframing.
And it's really about, I do this all the time now and it's become such a second nature for
me to reframe things and do it pretty quickly because you can look at any situation.
And I could think of so many things.
I mean, some that are probably not should share, probably not should share, probably
not share of just like looking at a situation and saying, Oh, I could see it this way and
then quickly reframing it into, but it's actually working out for me.
And that's actually helping me in this sense.
But I could never have done that if I didn't do the brain work.
So if you're in that plateau space, it means you have enough bandwidth now to be able to
reframe.
And this is now you have to turn it into a practice and then something you have to do
consistently of how is this working for you and really finding all the ways that it is
working for you because there's so many more than you would not even think.
And sometimes it does take, I'll be on it like a little comparison moment where you're
like, Oh, their life is like that.
Why am I not grateful for my life like this?
There seems like different.
And so, but not being in the space of Oh, poor you or poor me because that's that whole thing
we talked about the drama, trying to draw a drawing.
And how it's all about the story and what you tell yourself.
Yeah.
So we're really encouraging you to number one, keep going, keep doing the movements and
keep trusting that things will continue to grow.
And I know we've had some members that are like, no, nothing's changing for me and I
feel fine now.
Well, then fine, take off a week or two and spend some time not doing your brain work
and just notice.
Are you able to roll with things?
I know my fiance, he cannot go a week without me being like, bro, you need to get on the
floor.
You need to feel it in your energy.
Like the little things can start to come back and we're talking about how quickly our reflexes
turn back on because we're living in this bombarding state of information and technology
and stimulation all the time that our reflexes are like, is this survival mode?
There are thousands of years ago, we were just like, you know, hunting, we had rest and
digest time.
We don't have enough rest and digest.
We're always on the go.
And that's where it's probably why my nervous system loves living out in the country so much
because it's so quiet.
And when I go to cities, I'm overwhelmed with how much stimulation there is and I'm like,
I already have enough with two kids, business, relationships and all the things.
I'm like, I can't add anything else.
So I need a serene environment to live in to help keep me there.
I actually just realized that.
Yeah, I feel like that makes sense.
That's a lot of people.
Yeah.
No, that's a lot of people that move out, end up moving out to the country or something.
And I think another piece of the plateau is looking at what you want or what you can
give yourself in that time of that plateau.
So like, for example, if you're feeling like you need to take a break, take a break from
the brain work, from the, you know, eating the certain way from working out or from whatever,
you know, the new habit if you're trying to do.
And sometimes that's all that you need.
And it might not be a bad thing, right?
All you need is a break and then to come back.
Sometimes you need to give yourself that space and that separation from something that's
clearly been like on the, in the forefront of your mind for a while, right?
I feel like we, you and I are good about doing that now.
We used to be so like, far down ourselves, like, oh, I'm not drinking enough water.
I'm not eating this way.
I'm not doing this and that and this and that.
And then it's like, bro, just let yourself go sometimes, you know, and forget about drinking
water, forget about, you know, avoiding certain food groups or whatever it is.
I'm thinking clearly about my example with the gluten and dairy, which was so good for
me to not eat them.
And I started eating them again.
I'm like, I can feel the difference, but they're so delicious.
So I'm just letting myself do it for a bit and then I'll go back to, to avoiding them,
you know, and like it's about finding the balance.
Ultimately that's all what it's about.
And the plateau is part of you finding a balance.
If you think about it, plateau is that space, right?
In between one growth or one shift in another one, right?
It's like a blank space where you're still getting ready for the next thing, whether
it's going up or going down or going right, going left, going wherever, right?
And removing the judgment from the plateau, I think is a big deal because we're so hard
on ourselves.
Like it's just like not, you know, it's part of life.
And once again, okay, you're in a plateau, let's say.
Great.
What can you possibly do about it right this moment?
Not much, honestly.
Like you can force yourself to do more.
You can, you know, I feel like that happens a lot with people when they're like doing
like diet and exercise, right?
It's easier to put that example because I know everybody can relate to that or most
people can relate to that.
And you're like, oh, I want to be stronger.
I want to be thinner.
I want to be this.
I want to be that, whatever your goals are.
And that one day that you realize you're in a plateau, what are you going to change?
If you go to, you know, 700 bench presses or whatever, you're probably just going to
get really, really tired and, you know, hurt yourself.
And you know, and what are you going to do?
Not eat for another week?
No, you know what I mean?
That's exactly it.
That's what leads to the burnout is chasing the constant growth.
So we being able to zoom out, that's where the brainwork comes in, zoom out and say,
okay, this is just a phase.
It's just a part of my journey.
And I'm removing the judgment and the pressure from it.
Cause the pressure we have to keep going and going and doing all these things and always
showing off all the different ways that we're changing and evolving is just not fair.
Cause that's not the way the brain works.
And people who say that they're constantly growing and constantly explaining every single
day, every single hour of every single day, every single minute, every single week of
month and year, that's not true.
They're lying.
Like I'm sorry, that's just not possible.
Yeah.
I think we teeter between the, the space of giving people the grace of being a human.
Here's the, the support of being a human.
And then we're also, it's very fine line of like just having excuses.
And so I know that's something that we have worked through a lot too.
Cause some days it's just like, I don't feel like doing this.
And then we've come to the realization that the way we're wired is if we try to power
and white knuckle through something, it will burn us out.
And so I've really, cause that was my whole upbringing was the power through and never,
and never get to experience the plateau as being a beneficial space.
And I think that's what our podcast today is really trying to highlight for you is like,
when you're in that plateau space, it's time to rest and digest.
It's time to see what's working.
It's time to build the trust.
It's time to just settle in and accept all of you that's human.
Our biggest thing at, in the cortex is creating a sustainable practice for life.
And there's so many programs out there that are so great, but a lot of our members come
to us after spending thousands of dollars on a program that uprooted their entire lives.
They had to dedicate hours and hours on all they did.
And we had a little bit of that in our beginning years of experience.
We had, we used to work somewhere where they'd say do 30 minutes a day of creeping.
And then when they got to the second level, they would do 45 and that was 30 minutes of
creep or was like 15 minutes of creeping, 30 minutes of crawling.
Do you imagine?
It's, it's, it's a lot.
It's like, how do you even, and then they're doing it for kids and then the parents would
come in and they're like, how do we do this?
And I'm like, yo, I don't even think that's doable.
So then we found the magic formula that was, cause I was watching the parents.
They were in, it was more stress than it was actually beneficial.
So it was counterproductive.
But for what we asked for is we start you off.
So five minutes, five minutes of creeping daily.
And then you build the eight and then you build a 10, 10 is the max you'll ever do.
Every day of each movement.
And it doesn't matter how many laps and how much distance you cover, it's just being on
your belly in that space for 10 minutes.
And so many practices out there are asking for you to commit to so much time of, you
know, what you need to do daily to get there.
Yep.
So, and it's always, you know, anything is better than nothing.
Exactly.
You know, even if you do two minutes of it, better than zero, you know what I mean?
And that's kind of like why I really liked the, the Vedic meditation that I got into,
because they're the same way.
They're like, listen, if you can do the full thing, that's great.
If you can't do what you can, cause it's always going to be helpful.
And like even the smallest amount, it's been proven by, what's his name?
Dan, something, he has that podcast, 10% happier.
He wrote the book 10% happier.
Dan something he studied meditation and he proved that even one minute of meditation
is beneficial for the brain.
Just one minute per day.
Like how crazy is that?
We always think again, yeah, I have to do the full thing.
I have to do it perfectly or not do anything, right?
Dan Harris, there we go.
And it's just not true, right?
And so it's just not something that is again, realistic and just find what works for you,
especially in those plateau moments.
Yes.
And really, yeah, so that's probably like wrapping it up with your experiencing it,
you're feeling like you're not seeing enough changes, pause, go to gratitude, focus on what's
working and then also know that this is an important space to be in when you're in the
self-discovery world.
Yeah.
In order for it to be sustainable, you have to keep embracing all of it.
And that's why we always tell it to our members of our lifetime access because we want you
hanging out with us.
And we have members who have been with us for years.
We started.
And they take a break and then they come back.
They're like, we're so glad I just got back into this.
I could tell I really needed it.
My blah blah blah, we're like, you don't have to take a year-long break.
You can take like a month or two.
And then realize I need to do it.
I took, right now, my kids, we took a three week break on them doing it.
I haven't stopped because I know when I stop, I just, I'm not my best.
And he, my son took a three week break and I started noticing, like little things.
Of course.
Like he was doing the whole, could not handle multi step.
Right.
Directions.
Yeah.
like your baseline, think about how many years you've built this baseline of like your neural
pathways have connected for so long a certain way. And then you disrupt it and you create a new
pathway. Think about when you're out in a forest, how quickly the leaves grow back and how fast that
path disappears if you don't keep at it. So you can give it like a week or two. But then all of a
sudden those little vines start to creep back in and then you're like, oh, and then before you know
it, you're like, whoa, my multi step directions are out the window. My son is super unfocused.
Oh my gosh, he's got his nervousness back. It's all spiraling out of control. Yeah. And so you
just remember, oh, it's time to do our brain working in. And then you start to see the changes
instantly. Like I actually kind of had a moment where I was like, why did I and that's also to
then I step into the grace of like, okay, this is a this is a lifestyle. I have to just keep at it
and notice when I fall off a bit. But my son was like struggling at baseball and I was doing like
all the conventional ways of getting him back on track of like talking to him and practicing harder.
And I'm like, or I could do some reconnect. Yeah. And we could do some exuding rocks. And we did.
And then all of a sudden things shifted and I'm like, see, they work. That's why I love these
tools. That's what it is. Yeah, it's always the things that work. Yeah. So we're not looking for
perfection. We're looking for embracing the mess. And just knowing when it's chill and
calm. That's a good place to be. But don't give up. Just keep going. Keep going and finding what
your balance is, because that's ultimately the goal. And because these tools, you're always
going to have them. That's the whole point of our program, right? Yeah, is that we're teaching them
to you and you can have them now for the rest of your life. And you can always use them as you need
them and also be realistic with yourself, right? You can't expect your entire life to 180 in three
weeks, four weeks, five weeks, even three years. Like this is, you know, I mean, that might be an
exaggeration, but it takes so much time, you know, human brains and human behavior is so complex
that you really just have to give the time and space for things to happen when they should happen.
Right. And so just be patient with yourself, give yourself grace and keep going. Yeah. We love you.
Yeah. Okay, follow us on social media, please in the cortex underscore us is our Instagram in
underscore the underscore cortex, our tick tock. You can do Spanish in the cortex underscore ESP
for Instagram. We don't have a Spanish tick tock yet. I don't know if we're going to have one.
We'll see. We'll see how that goes. Our website is in the cortex.com. You can email us always,
no matter what at hello it in the cortex.com. It's just the two of us answering all of your questions.
And we're always around. You can set up a free 15 minute call. All the info for that is in our
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