Hi, and welcome to the In The Cortex podcast.
We are your hosts.
I'm Paloma Garcia.
And I am Dani Perrecone.
And we're the founders of In The Cortex, an online community with programs that show
people the tools that they need to change their lives, their brain reorganization, no
medication, just movement.
When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start
to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex.
Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life.
And now on to today's episode.
Hi everybody.
Welcome to the In The Cortex podcast.
Today's episode is going to be a little bit of a reflection, a little bit of an opinion
piece, so to speak.
Because Danny and I have been looking into this today, the amount of kids that are using
screens and teenagers that are using screens and what it's doing to their brain.
So just to kind of set the scene, we're not going to go through any of the stats.
I mean, we might mention a couple, but we're not really going to go into all the science
and all that stuff because we've listened to this amazing, amazing speaker.
His name is Jonathan Haidt.
He just wrote a book about this.
And so he's the guy that has all the, all the sciences.
So we'll leave that to him.
But it just brought up a lot of stuff for us, especially because of what we do and because
of the effect we see in kids, in screens.
And like, you know, when we started doing this, Danny, like not that many kids had screens
that available to them.
Like it wasn't as common for every kid to have their own iPad and for every teenager
to get, for young teenagers, I guess preteens to get phones at 10 years old.
You know, I mean, it was what 13, 14 years ago when we, when we started doing this and
we met and I, it just was a different reality.
And so everything is just changing so quickly.
And this is just something that obviously we think about a lot.
And the fact that society is advancing so much quicker than our brains and bodies are.
And so I don't have kids, as all of you know, but Danny has two little cutie-petooties.
And so we just, like, of course, this is a huge topic of interest.
So I'm kind of interviewing you a little bit, Danny, and just kind of like, get a little
bit of your perspective on all this stuff, you know, because I know it brought up a lot
for you when you were listening to the, to the episode, right?
It certainly did.
And I think where I'm at is, because Pullman, I talk about this a lot, it's 2024.
Like we can't deny that technology is a part of our everyday life.
And but there is an important need to strike a balance with what can we invite into our
homes and do we allow it to have power over our everyday life?
And I can be honest, like I will get into that social media trap and I will find myself
like, oh my gosh, I just doomschool for an hour or two hours.
Like, why did I do that?
And I think it's such like a thing that these devices, and that's what's in the podcast,
are designed to trap us, right?
And we have developed mature brains.
Now let's look at the brain of anyone who's under the age of like 29.
Now they're saying if, you know, if you're under 29, your brain's not fully developed.
And obviously you can't wait until you're 29 before you make big life decisions these
days.
But you, we need to understand that if I'm 39, and I have a hard time putting a device
down, and I'm supposed to like have all the tools, right?
What is it looking like for our kids?
And so we're just trying to help, you know, find that middle balance, happy medium of
how do we embrace the world today without being, you know, out on a mountain by yourselves
and you have no technology at all.
Like obviously a lot of us would like to do that, but we also like to stay connected.
And so how do you find the balance of it?
And I can just share from my experience of what I do at home with my kids and we do have
screens at our house.
We, you know, but I don't, we don't vilify them all the time.
My kids know that it's like eating sugar.
You need to balance it.
And so that's what this discussion is going to be.
It's just kind of how do we figure out a cortex way to handle all the science?
Yes, exactly.
So I'm, I mean, your kids are five and eight and I'm curious, how do you talk about it
with them?
Like, of course you, you have a phone, right?
You have a computer, you have an iPad, there's a TV in the house, like all those things,
right?
So how do you, because I feel like a lot of parents feel like, or I guess I would feel
like, well, it's kind of mean to be like, you don't get to use it, but I use it all
the long, you know what I mean?
And then of course, like we explained to them, like my brain is more developed because I'm
older, but how have you talked about that with your kids?
Cause we know kids love screens.
I mean, most kids like really, really love them.
Um, that's a great question.
And I think that the conversation has changed as I learned more and as I navigate it, you
know, as my kids get older too.
I swear my daughter came out of the womb, like just knowing how to operate a device.
Like it really actually was terrifying.
I'm like, this generation seems like they can just like swipe intuitively, like what's
going on.
Um, and I also am in the camp of it just not being about the screen.
It's also the effect on the whole body, right?
So I've always was like, swatting devices out of their hands.
I'm like, I don't want you to get like any extra EMFs or anything else going on with
it.
Um, but with my son, he's so good at giving me like back little, you know, if I'm like,
Oh, you know what?
I don't think you should watch it.
He's like, well, you're on your phone all the time.
And I'm like, ooh, Touche, good point.
I am.
I said, but here's the deal.
Here's the difference.
I'm an adult and I run my business through all of these things.
So the conversation I have with my son really, because he's very aware and he loves screens
way more than my daughter does.
Axl can turn into like that zombie kid.
Like you turn on the screen and he just like zones out and just stares and then nothing
on the world exists.
And he loves Minecraft.
He loves video games and he could watch TV episode after episode.
And the crazy part is like how much the streaming, like you said, how much has changed.
We didn't grow up with that constant stream of just like never having to stop for a commercial
never having to stop for anything.
And this guy talks about it in the podcast where he's like millennials had a different,
I think we're the last generation that had a different relationship with technology,
right?
And it's so interesting.
So with Axl, I just talk about how, you know, for my job, I need to be on tech.
I need to be on my phone.
I need to be on the computer.
And I tell them all the time.
I was like, some parents go away to an office.
My office is with me all the time on my device.
And it's, I'm answering emails.
I'm answering Instagram messages.
We're on calls.
Like it's just constant.
And so when you are a business owner, it's different.
There's less boundaries and I am working on my boundaries.
But I told him, I was like, would you rather me be around and like having my phone or would
you rather me be in an office and then you don't see me as much.
And, you know, and so we have conversations like that just to give them a taste of like
what other people do and how it looks.
And I say, but you are right.
I am on my phone too much and I should get off of it more.
Thank you for that feedback.
And I think the number one thing is really being honest with yourself as a parent.
I see more times than not.
And this is not to make people feel bad, but I just don't think we have awareness.
How many times I go out to restaurants or places and people are just on their phones
mindlessly like ignoring their kids.
And then when I'm at home and my dad will just be on his phone mindlessly, like we just
all have such a tendency just to have this device of just like sitting and giving us
information and we can't stop.
It's the dopamine is just more, more, more, more.
It's the dopamine.
And if you have a disorganized brain, you already have that dopamine imbalance, right?
Especially if you're somebody that has more like ADHD tendencies, then you already have
that.
So you're going to be more prone to becoming addicted to that.
And it truly is an addiction.
It is.
It's totally an escape for sure.
And so I think for our conversation at home too, as we really talk about the boundaries
with it as well.
And since I understand how the brain works, we always talk about, okay, before I turn
on the TV, because once you turn that TV on, you've lost your audience.
They're done, right?
So we talk about all the parameters before we do it.
Okay.
Before you go watch a show, what's going to happen when the show's over?
How are you going to handle turning it off?
And I'm going to, I give them examples or you're going to have them melt down and say,
no, I need more.
Are you going to say, okay, mom?
And so we talk about it.
We role play it.
And we've done this enough that when I can go up to my son and I'm like, hey bud, it's
time to turn it off.
He just says, okay, and turns it off.
So I'll be like, mom, there's two minutes left.
And I'm like, okay, that's fine.
You know, so like we have that communication and it's non-emotional.
And I think he's done a really good job of understanding how I perceive screens.
I also am not someone who sits and watches TV.
I am on my phone.
So I don't know if that plays a big role in it because I know a lot of families at home
at nighttime will just turn on the TV and that's their thing.
But I just, I, and I've never been a person who believed in TVs in a bedroom because I
don't think that's great for sleep.
So we've never had that.
Right.
My parents certainly do.
Their hit, Axel and Ziggy's dad has TVs.
They play, when they're with their dad, I already know that they're getting a massive
amount of screen time in there.
They're clocking a lot of hours and I'll know when my son has done more than not.
He'll come home more in like a haze and he'll just want to talk about every video game he
played.
Right.
I'm so very insightful how much you've been on a screen.
So I don't know.
I think for me, I just, I don't have a charge with it anymore.
I feel like I'm at peace with it.
And I think that's what talking to you too is, you know, it's 2024.
You can't hide your kids from technology.
They need to not sleep.
Yeah.
And I think that's a lot of like the messaging that's out there that's like really scary
for parents and for kids, right?
Where they're like, don't ever get your kid on a screen.
And like, that's why, again, I love this episode of the podcast that we're going to obviously
put in the show notes because he's like, I'm not, you have to find a balance because like
you and I are saying, right?
And so I think a lot of people that talk about this stuff online have a tendency to really
be very kind of like fear mongering with parents.
And that's not fair because we don't live in a reality where it's easy to escape them.
So if it's not with you, it's going to be at school.
It's going to be with a friend.
It's going to be with the dad, right?
Like they're always going to have access to that.
So it's also about, I think, being honest with like, this is what it does to your brain
and like helping them tune into their bodies.
And I think that's kind of like a lot of what we talk about in our program is like the parent
is teaching the child how to do all of these functions that now we as adults do.
And a lot of us had to figure out how to do it on our own.
And a lot of us didn't figure it out until very little at my aka me in terms of like
checking in with your body, taking care of your body, knowing your rhythms, knowing,
you know, all these things that, that some people, you know, are better at.
Some people, you know, have a little bit more trouble with.
But as a parent, that's another thing that you get to teach your kids, right?
It's like, that haze that he comes back in being like, Hey, do you notice?
How do you feel right now?
Okay.
Now let's think about how you feel tomorrow after you've been outside.
You really haven't looked at screens, blah, blah.
And like helping them understand that because kids, there's two different sides, right?
One is the kids and the side of the kid, I should say that is like candy, dopamine screens,
all the things that are fast impulse, impulse, impulse, impulse, which is normal because
once again, it's absolutely developmentally appropriate to not have that much impulse
control at certain ages, right?
Like again, the brain doesn't finish developing until we're 26 or 29, depending on which neuro
scientists you ask.
And so it's totally natural.
But then there's other side of kids where they really are absorbing all these different
things about what you're teaching them and what is good for them and what they like and
what they don't love and what works with their own body.
And so if you help them, they might not mention in the short term, and that's where I think
a lot of people might get frustrated being like, I told them it's not good for their
brain, but they're still doing it.
And it's like, well, so are we.
Right, right, right, right, right, or scrally Mcscrollers and over or drinking alcohol or
eating that food and we know it's not good, but we keep doing it.
And I think that's about helping them understand that balance too.
Yeah.
And being like, you're not always going to be perfect because that doesn't exist.
It's just about finding you, I do the screens and the candies and the whatever and why step
back, right?
And if they can learn what that feels like that balance at a young age, oh my gosh,
I'm just setting them an amazing success and, you know, as they grow older.
And it depends on the child.
Because as you were talking, I'm like, me and Axel can have those really deep conversations
and he's like, yeah, mom, I know it just scrambles my brain and we have really, I mean, he is
three years older than Ziggy and he has really insightful comments and he's just able to see
things so differently and he's just a really tender guy.
And so I think his personality, he can see it and he really empathizes with others and
he can, he has a lot of compassion.
So I feel like for him, he can get that.
And I mean, this has been his whole life, like we've done it.
And as I saw that meme that came through as we're talking about social media, I learn
a lot from social media.
I love it.
Me too.
From that space of, you know, you learn, your first born like teaches you how to become
a parent basically.
And then your second born gets to like reap the benefits of you being a better parent
and you grow with your first like you really do grow together.
And I feel excellent, I have done that together.
He's seen me in my extremes of dysregulation.
He's seen me go from one side of the pendulum to the other.
And he's just like learning and we talk about it.
And I think that's, that's something I never had as a kid was just having open dialogue
constantly.
Like, I remember asking questions and then just being shut down and be like, just cause,
just cause I said so, right?
And for me, being a curious child, I was like, gosh, I want my kids to ask questions and
know why.
And so when you were talking, I was also thinking about the subconscious.
Why do kids, when they get to a certain age in middle school, really, when they start
to see all the other kids get it, right?
And they're like, Oh, I want one now too.
Cause otherwise I'll be left out.
And so then it's hitting those subconscious beliefs of like, I'm not enough or, you know,
you start to really create a worldview from just that really microscopic space of I don't
have this one thing and it's giving me so much value and worth because kids like, Oh,
I have a phone now.
And I just have different.
First of all, this is where your parenting, you get to trust your values and you get to
figure out what matters to you.
And I have found a community that we're all pretty like minded.
And so it's actually a really amazing conversation I'd like to have with these moms that I'm
in dads that we're doing pods with.
And like, Hey, how are we going to tackle when cell phones and these technology things
come on?
Cause if one kid gets it, it is going to change the dynamic of the rest of them.
So it's a really important conversation to have.
Like how do we all view this?
Because there's things that some families do that I'm like, Oh, that's not in a line
with my values.
I don't like the way that felt.
And then there's things I do that's not in a line with their values.
So you can see as we're in a community, we're always crashing up against our own subconscious
beliefs.
And, you know, and you just like sharing like the next car I want and you're like, no way.
And I'm like, but I love it.
It means so much to me.
That's what I want.
And so I think this is where it really boils down to then really helping your kids from
the inside out understand what are important values and worth that they need to have within
them.
So they don't crave the things that everybody else has just because everybody else has it
and teaching new ways of staying connected and doing things.
Cause I mean, even in that podcast, he said it's not necessarily like bad that they're
on screens per se.
He was really nailing on social media, the social media aspect.
Yeah.
Talking about when kids go home and play video games, they don't just sit around the same
console anymore.
They all have to go to their own computer.
So they're isolating.
So it's not like we can villainize like just video games.
It's how they're being played.
And this is where we really need to look at, well, what do we want for your own child?
And yeah, there's so many different ways to look at it.
And I think that's the important part here.
And that's what we're trying to bring in through our view is that you really have to get in
touch with what you value, what need does it make meeting?
And then how are you going to navigate that and having a conversation with your kid?
Well, and I think what I really liked about his, his perceptions, he's very optimistic.
He's like, I'm not a cynic at all.
He's like, I'm actually anti-synicism.
Right.
And I was like, that's cool.
I identify with that too, because what's the cynicism going to do for you first of
all?
Just bear.
Yeah.
Just bear.
And it's just like being able to see that there is so much hope and like the fact that
he's interviewing teenagers who are saying they wish TikTok was never invented, right?
And you're like, whoa, I never thought they would have said that.
But that's wise because they know what it's doing to them.
And so that's the other side of the coin, right?
And we've talked about this before on the podcast is like, yes, it's creating these
unrealistic standards and this lack of socialization.
But the other part is that we really do have so much more awareness of mental health, so
much more communication about it, so much more openness about it.
And so these kids know, like when they get to a certain age, they actually know exactly
what it's doing to their brain.
There's like scientists that are on TikTok and are showing them what the dopamine is doing
and what the...
And that's the other side of it, right?
And like humans inherently want to feel good.
They want to be the best version of this.
We want to be the best version of ourselves, right?
That's who we are.
And so I think that's kind of like that other side where he talks about like, yeah, there
is a way to do it.
That's not going to continue to isolate us and continue to kind of like just turn us
into Wally where at the end they're like just like in these like floating pods and they
don't look at each other.
They just have a screen in their face.
Like, that's terrifying, right?
And I do think that, you know, again, we've talked about this so many times, but there
is like a kind of like a thought revolution that's coming.
And more and more and more people are like, mm-mm, I'm not okay with this kind of living,
right?
And so I think that's a cool part of like also being able to empower kids from this age and
like help them understand because at a certain age, it is actually very developmentally
appropriate to start to compare yourself to your peers and to want what the other kids
have and to want to belong, right?
And that's we, who's the other guy that had a really good podcast about that, Danny?
Remember, we talked about attachment.
Is it Gordon Newfield?
Yes.
Yeah, Dr. Gordon Newfield.
Gordon Newfield talks about like all the different stages of the human, right?
And so there is a stage where all you want is to belong.
You do not want to be different, right?
And then later on you want to be different because you're like, okay, it is kind of cool
to have more attention, right?
And very few, you know, it's definitely the minority that are okay being different and
standing out at a young age, right?
And like, I remember, I went through that.
Like I remember everything that I wanted, like I wanted to be whatever was like the cool
like girl on Disney Channel, you know what I mean?
We've all, we've all been there.
And so it's also finding like what kind of like really helping them align with their
values at that age, at that preteen and teenager age where it's like, it's okay to want those
things.
It's also okay to, but it's also important to understand that you, first of all, can't
always have everything that you want.
And second of all, that you, like, why do you want that, right?
Like, why did I want to be blonde with braces?
Like, I don't know.
I don't know.
Lizzie McGuire, I don't know.
Like something like that.
I didn't check.
Genuinely.
I wanted to be blonde with braces.
Yeah.
But that's what's so true is like in Dr. Gordon Newfield says you need to be attached, securely
attached to your parents before you went because that is what you're attaching.
And what happens is we have so many insecure relationships with child and parent that then
they attach to their friends.
Yes.
I mean, it's like the blind leading the blind.
And that's the problem is that they're, they're attaching to the wrong thing because we want
to belong.
And then it's the, because then that spirals into the bullying and all the other stuff that
comes with phones.
And I think my perspective is just be securely attached to your parent.
Check the way it makes you feel like, how does it feel when another kid has something
that you want?
Because if you can help a child bull that down to then I feel like I'm not enough or
I feel like I'm not good enough, you help them through a reconnect, feel that feeling.
And then they go, actually, I don't know if I actually need that to make myself feel better.
But you're right.
Like we do, it's okay to want and crave things, right?
Absolutely.
But when it overtakes and it becomes obsessive and it's the only thing you can think about
and that's how then you see yourself in society.
That's where the problem lies.
Well, because also that, that's going to spark fear, right?
So when you, when you're that one kid that doesn't have that one thing and you go into
the school and you're like, oh, I'm so scared.
They're going to bully me.
Everybody's going to make fun of me.
And so that's where that secure attachment comes in.
That's exactly what it is.
Like, listen, I don't have it.
Do I wish I did sometimes?
Sure.
But I'm going to use yours today at school and then I'm going to go home and I'm not
going to have it.
You know what I mean?
Or whatever.
Because we're never going to control everything about kids.
Right.
Like when you're not with them, they might use their friend's phone, right?
That's the reality of it.
But that's where you kind of are.
If you're able to give them that safe, safe, safe attachment, that safe space at home,
they're also able to talk about that.
Like, hey, today I was at school and they were making fun of this other kid for not having
whatever and I don't have it either.
So now I'm scared that they're going to make fun of me.
So then you talk them through it and you go through all of those feelings and you make
them know that no matter what anybody else says, they are safe with you and they are
valuable and they are loved and all of these things that we want them to feel, right?
So that way they walk in knowing that that device isn't going to give me that thing that
I deeply was actually craving.
And that's the goal.
Right.
And I already have it within me.
So I don't need to seek out the external.
And that's what we do.
Even adults, right?
Because the guy on the podcast, he was like, I'd love to actually study what the phones
are doing to the adult brain, right?
Because think about all the people you know who put their value and worth on the things
that they have and how they look and all that, right?
And today's world is out of control.
And but when, and then when you're that person who goes out and buys all those things and
you get all those external validation, you then realize that that actually didn't make
you feel better.
And you're like, well, I actually am not any further along because you brought your mind
with you the whole time.
So when you actually start to reframe your mind and you actually start to look at what
am I actually needing by getting this thing, then you start to realize you can give that
to yourself first.
And then you can go just now you can be unattached to that thing.
And I think that's exactly what I've been able to help Axel with is we talk about his
value and his worth and all the internal stuff so much that now he realizes he can turn
on and off a device and it doesn't control him the same way.
And that doesn't mean we're not going to have issues down the road, you know, of like him
wanting to fight, but my kids never sneak off and try to watch a show without me.
My daughter will take my phone.
I will admit that she will take a few pictures, but then I just stopped.
I don't react to it, you know, and like, and she'll sometimes text Paloma, like when she
learned about the emojis that can talk and you know, you're like, Oh, he's got your phone.
And it, but it's just, it's just like, Oh, can I have it back?
You know, and I have, I don't have to like, it's not this insane fight that goes on at
home.
And I feel like, and this is where we want to help parents because oftentimes parents
will get to that space of like, I am burnt out.
I can't do one more thing.
And then I'm turning to the screen to help me.
And this is why we go, you've got to regulate your nervous system.
So that way, yeah.
So that way when your kid starts to get, you know, in that space, you don't feel like you
just turned to the phone to like give that crotch.
And I was there.
I did that.
I totally know the feeling.
And it's like you, you just need a break and it's okay.
It's like how we see meds, right?
Like you need out a quicksand and you really need to break, do it, take it, right?
That's your journey.
But then figure out what you're going to start doing next to get off of that because otherwise
it just breaks that cycle and then you never actually get through it.
So that's what we're trying to help parents understand is, you know, if you turn to that
dependence on it, then your kids will depend on it.
If you learn the tools on how to get out of it and how to help yourself regulate, then
use it and turn it off.
So it's not an abusive and addictive and toxic relationship with these devices.
Yeah, exactly.
And that's where, that's also where the regulation comes in, right?
Because you can be the kid that has all the positive subconscious beliefs and all the insecure
attachments, but if you're brain is in survival mode, you're going to get into that school
and see that bully and go, right?
Total survival mode, fight or flight, feel completely attacked and go into that fear space
and, you know, fight, flight, whatever it is for each kid, right?
And that's where, or when the dad or the mom says, no, you can't have your iPad tonight,
same reaction, right?
Life or death.
And so that's where it always goes hand in hand.
And I think that's why it works for your kids right now, because they do so much brain work
and their brains really are very regulated.
They're not perfect because again, nobody's brain is, but these kids are super regulated
compared to other kids that are their age, right?
And so there are certain things that are developmentally in age appropriate, but there are certain
things that are like still getting in the way for some other kids.
And you can see the difference very clearly with kids that do the brain work versus the
kids that don't or kids that have that solid neurological foundation or they don't, right?
And that's just such a big thing.
And that happens with adults too.
You can tell the way somebody reacts to a life or death situation or to a not so life
or death situation, right?
When something happens, when you forgot the keys inside the car or when you are, you know,
missed the plane or whatever it is, like you can always tell how people are reacting in
that kind of situation.
And so it's really the same thing.
It really is.
And so if you're listening to this as a parent and you're like, I'm trying to battle this
whole thing with my kid with phones, just take a moment and pause right now and just
examine your relationship with screens.
Like are you able to turn it off, put it down?
Do you have an emotional charge?
How does it feel when you get on social media and you see a friend post something that you
didn't get invited to?
Like what's coming up for you?
That's the first step, getting yourself into a really calm, regulated space.
And then we start to help our kids just by helping you will help your kids.
And it's one of our favorite things to watch and every parent, they're like, wow, I calm
down and then my kids calm down and then I stopped doing this and then my kids stopped
doing this.
And it doesn't mean everything's going to be cured and solved and you're just never
going to have anything, but you're going to start to really start seeing how much more
your kids will help enhance your growth journey.
And that's been my case because I, I now sit with curiosity when my child has a meltdown.
My favorite new line, I just have to show this because it's actually really funny this
morning because my daughter is five.
She told me that I just lost 88 points in my goodness of being a mom.
She goes, well, I just took down 88 points off of you, how good of a mom you are.
And I was like, and I just laughed because I was like, what five year old puts that thought
together?
And it's so funny because I'm just like, are you being graded?
Like where do you get your grades from?
First of all, because I mean, she's in preschool now.
So she's definitely learning a couple new things.
But I'm pretty, she's not walking home with like any marks on her papers and grades and
whatnot.
But I just think it's so funny because she really can see like when I don't give her
something that she really desperately wants.
And my boundary has stayed so good.
I used to waver.
I used to be like, oh, I can't, I can't do it yet.
I'm like, I really want to follow through on this boundary, but it's really not, I'm
not there yet.
And I think a lot of parents know exactly what I'm talking about.
Like you threatened to take away that screen and then you're like, but I actually need
it for me because it's my break.
So they feel that they call your bluff out, right?
They know that you're going to cave.
I was so there for so long until I did more deeper work on my shadow and my ego and like,
what is it that's coming up for me?
What what need am I getting met?
And I was like, oh, I need a break.
That's why I say you can still have your screen.
And then I realized, well, wait, if I'm so burnt out and exhausted, what part of my life
do I need to change?
Yes.
I started just making little tiny tweaks.
But the first thing always is doing my brain work.
That will never ever come off my plate.
It is my go to that keeps me in a really good space.
And now I'm like, oh, I'm going to add this to my day now that I can because my container
has opened and I can hold more.
I can now take on more things to keep it going.
So that's our feedback is just like really it's not like, let's just take all the devices
out the window.
And look at what needs are getting met by having these things.
Yeah.
Because these devices are going to be secondary to that always.
The devices or the food or the dyes and the sugars and the this and the that always going
to be secondary, right?
Yeah.
Or for adults, you know, substances.
Yeah.
Like that kind of stuff.
Like it's always going to be secondary to what the true need is.
And once again, if sometimes you're like, I don't even care.
I'm just going to do it.
That's fine.
And that's not your go to every single day for the rest of your life.
Because then it's just going to become, you know, that's where it becomes a really toxic
pattern.
Exactly.
And Jonathan was saying in his book or on the podcast, he's like, if we just took away
all the cell phones and locked him up during the day, we would see so many changes.
I agree.
I think we'd see some changes, but would we get to the root?
Absolutely not.
Like there's still so much more to do.
And because innately we're human and there's so much of our humanness that needs to be
changed, love and attention and so many things have been passed down from generation to generation.
And I'm so excited because of social media, we've become aware of all this cycle, you
know, ancestral trauma and all the things that we've been passing down that now we're
like, oh, this is a thing.
And now we can start becoming aware of it.
So it's really just being able to find the balance, but really ultimately getting to
the root of what drives you to do what you're doing.
Here you go.
And because I don't think, yeah, we're seeing it uptake.
I think kids are just finding it.
I mean, it's crazy to me.
I think it's so funny because when I'm having technology problems, number one, you're way
faster than me.
I mean, you're a few years younger, but then like I'll go hang out with some young teenagers
and like, Danny, why don't you just push this button and makes it so much faster.
I was like, oh, thank you for that troubleshooting.
So they're so insightful.
They could fix everything in seconds.
I'm like, so we do need to stay up with it because it is part of our future and just
the balance.
Yeah, it's part of our reality.
And it's your for a reason.
It's just like learning to understand it and balance it.
All the time.
So, okay, that was great.
Thank you.
So let's do the thing.
Okay.
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