Hi, and welcome to the In the Cortex podcast.
We are your hosts.
I'm Paloma Garcia.
And I am Dani Pericone.
And we're the founders of In the Cortex, an online community with programs that show people
the tools that they need to change their lives through brain reorganization.
No medication, just movement.
When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start
to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex.
Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life.
And now on to today's episode.
Welcome everybody to the podcast.
Today is an episode that is a little bit different.
We had something else planned, but we started talking and we were like, whoa, this is really
kind of crazy.
And we kind of, we know a lot of people liked our last episode where we went really deep
into what a session looks like and how we help guide people through certain things.
And that was honestly only the tip of the iceberg, the podcast that we did, because
we really do go a lot further.
But we were just talking about our own stuff.
And so we kind of wanted to share that with everybody and just kind of show you what our
path has been like and kind of where we are now and where we could have been and where
we, I don't know, just all these things that we're kind of tripping out about.
So definitely a different kind of episode.
But Danny, go for it.
You were just talking about kind of like where you started, I guess, like adulthood, so to
speak, right?
Yeah.
The conversation started with, I could just have tears come out of my eyes thinking about
what if I didn't know this information and how different my life would have been.
And you know, it's like the butterfly effects, right?
Like you find something and you go one way and like, this is what it could look like,
or you go another way and you don't always know.
Obviously you just pick a path, right?
And so we just started talking about like, whoa, look how crazy like all of our changes
that have come through doing this work.
And our original podcast was talking about resistance.
And I think we can weave that in today as we talk about our own stuff.
And I was like, think about it, Paloma.
Like before we started ITC, like we had already had a really good foundation of brain work
and we had been doing our primitive reflex integration, lower brain development pretty
regularly.
I mean, honestly, I did fall off though, because I had kids and things happen.
And to remind you all our story of I was working somewhere, Paloma and I met at that place
and then I branched off.
Paloma and I then connected again and we worked together for two and a half years.
And then I had my first child and everything kind of went a different direction for a while.
And then we connected in 2020 when the pandemic hit and it was kind of like...
We connected randomly though, actually, because we connected in 2019.
I was working with a kiddo that I was...
His creep just was not evolving.
And I was like, what's going on?
Like he was stuck in the same pattern for maybe like a month.
And I was like, this makes no sense.
What's going on?
And so I called you randomly and you were like, oh my God, we hadn't talked in like,
I don't know, a really long time.
I mean, we always were like in contact and stuff, but like we hadn't like had a conversation.
And so you talked about it with me, Paloma.
And you were like, well, have you looked at like the emotional piece?
And that's where I was like, wait, what?
And you rocked my world when you started to talk about all the subconscious, sent me all
these books and like podcasts and all these links and things to look into.
And I was like, this is so cool.
And so we just kind of opened our channel again of collaboration.
And you...
I was in Mexico City back then and you had another company and you were like, well, maybe
we can do like a Mexico City branch.
And I was like, great, amazing.
And then the pandemic hit.
And then that's when, I mean, I was still honestly like doing certain things that people
felt comfortable with.
And but I was more so like, wait, we need to take this to another level.
And I knew that with you, because we knew each other so well, I was like, Paloma, I
can do this.
Yeah.
And so that's when we brought on the whole online program.
And that's where we really created this incredible program.
And then let's say like a year after we created it, we started doing it more hardcore.
Two and a half years after we created it.
Maybe two.
Yeah, it took a minute.
I was already in Mexico when we started it.
So I was in Spain for the first two years.
Yeah.
Right there.
That was like our resistance piece.
Like, and we had like an a-ha.
We're like, how are we expecting people to do this if we're not committed to doing it
daily?
And that's where we really shifted our messaging of this is life time.
This is a lifestyle.
This is something you have to commit to for your life because you're a human and you have
emotions and you're going to have triggers and you're going to have activations in your
nervous system for as long as you're a human.
So we're like, we really need to share this with people because we both learned it that
you do a certain amount and you're done and you never have to do it again.
And I just found that was so not the case.
And that's what actually started my business when I branched off originally.
But so as we started to commit to it and broke through our resistance of doing it daily,
we started experiencing incredible changes even more.
Like our lives had changed to get us to that point.
And then we dove deeper and then we started diving into subconscious stuff.
And the crazy part is what we're just talking about.
We're like, let's hit record because I was like, think about my life when we first met
when we started ITC, what four years ago, literally in April was like four years ago
and yeah, yeah, because I had just gone to Rhode Island.
Yeah, exactly.
And I was like, think about it.
I was married.
I had two kids.
I owned a home.
I had all the things right.
And I looked like my life was perfect.
I'm doing air quotes.
And as we started to like get into this work, all of a sudden my life kind of exploded.
And we're not saying this to scare you.
It just gave me so many new tools.
And trust me, I'm so grateful for where I am today.
I've never been better in my headspace, my life and all the things.
But it took some really deep work and some really deep examining of why am I here now?
And I really peeled back the layers and I was like, wait, I'm actually not happy with
all this perfect life stuff.
Right.
And I think you had convinced yourself that you were happier.
You had like kind of, I guess, kind of fallen into what you like society's expectations.
It always comes up.
You were just falling into it, right?
You were like, oh, this is what I was supposed to want.
I checked out the outfit.
This is the person I'm supposed to be with.
This is the person that I chose.
This is the house, the thing, blah, blah, like whatever.
And I think once everything got so rocked with pandemic, with starting this online business,
which was not easy, it's still not easy, but it's amazing and we love it.
And that's, I think, when you started to really let yourself reevaluate things.
I don't think you were letting yourself before.
I think you were a little bit in that, like, I'm not don't look if you don't get it, you
won't see it or whatever it is.
Kind of mentality.
Oh, 100%.
And then as I started doing more brain work and as we started connecting more.
And then and then I was like Paloma and I knew I needed a change and I didn't know what
that change was.
And that's when all of a sudden I was like, well, an easy moving forward thing for me
was let's sell our house and let's buy an RV and let's travel the whole country.
Because I was like, I got to get out of California.
Like that was my mindset.
Like that was that was what I thought the solution was.
But that just was the tip of the iceberg.
That's just what started stirring it all up.
Right.
And so we made this massive leap and my ex husband was just like, no, I don't want to
do it because he's so resistant to change.
And he's a great, great human.
There's no evil or anything.
No, he's a great parenting relationship.
And we've talked about this extensively.
So he's OK with me sharing this.
And and so he was just like, I don't want to do this.
And I was like, but I do.
And I knew deep down, like there was something going on in me.
And I was like, I need to get to the bottom of this.
And as we traveled the whole country, 11000 miles, Paloma and I were building out the
program, driving ourselves nuts with no Internet connection.
It was just like when you look back at it, you're like, what did you do?
It was so funny.
We just kept going.
And then you as soon as I get back, then you're like, I'm moving to Spain and I'm going to
my master's, my double master's program.
And I was like, we can make nine hour difference work.
She was making like two in the morning and like all and we're like.
So when you really think about what we've done in these past four years, it's actually
quite amazing.
And that is so symbolic of what it looks like when you start doing this work.
You think like it's one clear trajectory of like, I'm going to start here and I'm going
to end up here.
And that's so not the case.
Like you start doing something, you do like a massive U-turn, you come back, you're like,
that didn't work.
Go this way, go that way.
And you just keep trying new things.
And the fact that neither of us were resistant to trying new things was the key piece because
I was going to brain organize and we had our brain.
I think I think back to when we actually first heard about that, that we didn't have our
brain organized.
That's true.
And we weren't resistant to that.
You know, like I remember when I first heard of it, when I went to that center with my
brother, who I think a lot of you have heard my brother's story.
He really is like a huge inspiration for me to get into this because he was the, I lived
his success case in my house and he, we went to this place, she did an assessment, she
had us both creep and crawl on the floor and she told us so much about our brains.
And I remember I was a very, my creep was already very developed.
I think I was at like 90% already, right?
I was like really smooth.
And she told me, well, once my brother came out, she was like, he got down on the floor
and he couldn't move.
He physically could not move.
And I was like, what?
But it's so, what?
And so she started telling us about the brain, about how it worked.
And there was just something in my mind that was like, oh my God, click, like absolute
click.
And I was already, I was in, I think I was still in college at that point, but I had
already, I'd done like an internship at like Mars chocolate.
And then I was working at Accenture and then I was doing all these like super corporate
things that I thought I had to do.
Cause I went to business school.
Although originally I wanted to go to into psychology, but my parents were like, no,
no, no, no, no.
You have to go into like the safe route.
Right?
So I went to business and, but I always had that in me, right?
When I was like, I'm so obsessed with human behavior and like all these things.
And so I learned about it.
And I remember my mom kind of thinking like, that's a little weird, but you know, we'll
try it, whatever.
At that point, like so many people that come with us, my brother, I think was like 17,
she was like, I'll try anything.
I'll try anything.
I want him to be able to be himself and succeed in life and not have to depend on us or on
medication or something like that.
So that's where she was more like at the desperate point where she was just like, yeah, whatever,
I'll do it.
She tried everything.
Cause she had really tried everything.
My brother had been all over the U S and Mexico to all the different therapies, all the things
I sometimes I'll mention like a therapy that I'm like, Oh, have you ever heard of this?
My mom's like, yeah, your brother did it.
And I'm like, Oh, so you do know all of the therapies are out there ever.
And that's where I think the first piece came in is that my brain was really, I don't remember
ever questioning it.
And I'm somebody who was a very like self-proclaimed skeptic.
Like I was all, I was all about like, you know, the science based things that of course
this was also before like social media was what it is today.
So let's also keep that in mind.
But I was also very about like straightforward, like no woo woo things, none of that hippie,
you know, stuff.
I was totally against that stuff.
So it was very interesting kind of to, to for me to actually just do it.
And I think it's because it truly is my calling that I was able to not have that resistance.
But if it hadn't been for that, I would be like in corporate America today, like probably
working at, you know, one of those big companies and just probably not very aligned with who
I am.
Yeah.
And that's what the conversation was really about.
Like where we all of a sudden realize like how much brain organization, cause you did
experience a lot of change once you started looking at your reflexes.
And once you looked at your mid brain and you're like, wow, I actually do have a lot
of growth to do.
And yeah.
And initially though, I was resistant to even doing the, the, the creeper because I was
like, I'm good.
Oh, that's right.
95%.
You know, and I, when I was in San Diego, even I didn't really creep, like I did all
the other stuff and it helped me so much.
I did all the reflexes, but I didn't actually fully dedicate myself to creeping creeping
until we did it when I was in Mexico, like until like a couple of weeks, months, years
ago, years ago.
Yeah.
Last year, last year we did last summer.
And I felt, I still felt amazing changes and I felt more connected to myself and all these
things, but I still had that one piece of resistance to the creeping itself.
Then that tells you everything you need to know.
Yeah.
And basically when you have resistance to anything, it's really a true indicator that
that's what you need the most.
And, and it also means that you have to learn how to approach that resistance because if
you try to force yourself through it, you'll actually create more anger and more like internal
stuff and your body will start talking to you and we'll start to like shut down and
we'll start to get sick and we'll start to have other things happen.
So trusting that when you're ready, you'll feel that moment of like, okay, now I'm ready.
I'm ready to dive into this thing that I've been hearing about now for years or months
or weeks and I'm ready to see what it does.
And a lot of times we have this feeling because when you have tried so many different things
and maybe it didn't give you those results that people promised you, you're like, okay,
what's one more thing you're going to promise me this?
There's no possible way that my life is going to change that much.
And it really does change so drastically.
And our members say all the time, we wish we started here and we go, yeah, but you had
to go try all those other things first to understand how powerful brain reorganization
is.
Totally.
That was 100% my whole thing too is, and I had always been, so I had, once I had my
kids too, I was in the brain work world because I wanted my kids to creep and crawl.
And so I had been doing it.
I never took a full, full stop from doing my brain work, but what I wasn't doing was
really, really examining why I was in a certain situation that was making me so unhappy.
And I thought running, flight, going, finding a new place was going to solve all my problems.
And so many people do this.
They go, if I just move to this place or this, then all of a sudden my life is going to be
different.
Oh, that's one of my beliefs too.
Like every time in an airport, I'm like, where can I move today?
Any new city I visit, I'm like, I'm moving here.
Like literally anywhere.
This is huge because honestly, what do you bring with you everywhere you go?
Your own mind, your own stuff, right?
Like it goes, it doesn't matter.
And this is what people do too.
And it could just be like the physical, but it's also the emotion.
Like I'm going to leave this relationship and go get another one.
And how many times do we repeat the same pattern?
Cause we never went inward to go, well, why was I even unhappy in the first place?
And so this is why we see these just loops that people get stuck in.
And so for us, we really confronted it.
We really looked at it and was like, okay, let's commit to this.
Let's do the work.
And that's when, so when I got back from traveling the country, I, that's when everything kind
of came under a microscope for me.
We were then pressure cooked into a tiny RV with two small kids and we were traveling.
And you know, it's not always easy to pack two kids up that are young and travel 300
miles a day and do all the things, especially when one person's like, I don't want to do
this.
And I was like, well, then why are you here?
You know, like, and when we got back, I was just like, wait, maybe it's not the move we
need.
Maybe it's more of a shift in how we're living.
And then that's when I decided that it was time for us to get a divorce because my husband
at the time was just not open to, he was very resistant to, I want to go look at these things.
And that's okay.
And I think that's such an important message for people to understand.
Like when you stay stuck in a relationship and you're resistant to changing things, like,
what are you really, what is that saying?
Like, yeah, you made a commitment to be married, but, and you know, we have the whole society's
expectations and we realize how much our world has created a marriage as to this like false
pretense of what is really healthy.
And we've created an industry built on people thinking that till death do us part.
And it's like, but you know what, if you're unhappy, that doesn't serve anybody.
And I really thought about that when I started doing Reconnects.
I was like, if I'm showing my kids what an unhealthy love, like, and it wasn't like they
were any abuse, there's no abuse.
It was just like, I was growing at a tremendous rate because I kept digging into my stuff
and I was like, holy cow, this is why I ended up here.
Oh my gosh, I can't believe I made this choice and now I want to shift it.
And I just, we just went different paths.
We grew differently.
Totally.
And so when I started looking at that, I was like, and I was really stuck in that crossroads
of do I stay with him to help my, to like have that, you know, little nuclear family
and showing my kids like, this is what a mom and dad look like.
And or do I make that really bold choice and say, but I want to show my kids what like
really great love looks like and like, and prioritizing me to show what healthy for myself
look like.
And I will tell you, it's not easy.
Like there would be tears.
Like there's no way like even a year ago, I could have said it without crying because
divorce is hard.
It's so hard.
But once you get to the other side of it and you start to learn like who you authentically
are and why you're creating certain relationships and why you're doing what you're doing, you're
just like, Oh my gosh, I'm finding who I am and I'm living my life.
And that's where we started to get really deep on this.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Where we started realizing like, wait a minute, we both just this like massive life changes
and then we both ended up at our parents.
Yeah.
And we're like, okay, but there's no shame here.
And this is where I think Paloma, I've come onto this planet to like really break the
mold of like, you don't have to live a way that's making you feel sad.
Totally.
And you don't have to fit into society's expectations just because that's what's expected.
Like it's just not a thing.
And it's all about doing what is going to help you.
And when it's the right time for you, you know, like so and this has probably happened
to you so many times where people will reach out, they're curious about it, they're asking
questions and you're like, sure, let me know if you have any other questions.
Let me know when you want to sign up, blah, blah.
And then they'll reach out a week later.
Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
I've been so busy.
I'm the worst.
I always do this.
I'm so flaky.
Oh my God, please forgive me.
And I'm like, you're forgive.
There's nothing to forgive.
You're good.
And then a week later, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
I didn't text you back about this thing.
Oh, blah, blah.
And you're just like, when you're ready, I'm here.
And I always just say that I'm not pressuring you at all.
There's no expectation here.
When you're ready, just call me.
And that's it.
Or sign up or send us a DM or set up a 15 minute call or whatever it is, especially
with people you already know, like friends who are like, I really want to do this.
And then a month later you run into them at a party.
They're like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
I've just been so busy.
I'm like, babe, imagine we never even talked about it.
Imagine I'm somebody that's just on the internet and you've never met her.
Right.
Like, please.
They're really, you know, oh, and it always works out the way it has to.
Always ends up being the moment when they're actually ready to commit to it.
Because if you're not, you're not going to do it.
The divine timing is so key.
And that's such a big piece because there was no I wasn't ready to do a lot of the things
I did sooner.
And and I love that you said that because I do meet a lot of people who learn about this
and they're like interested and they're like, I really do want to bring it up and I do want
to get into it.
And then they think of all the excuses as to why I can't do it yet.
It's oftentimes it starts with money.
And so we're like, well, guess what?
We lowered our prices to make it so accessible.
It's cheaper than going out to dinner at a fast food restaurant with your whole family
in per month.
So like, imagine if you just like didn't eat that for one one one night for a whole month,
you would already pay for the program and you just do that 12 times.
The program's paid for.
So we're like, hey, we removed that obstacle for you.
They're like, oh, OK, crap.
What's another reason I'm not ready?
And then like, I just don't have the space.
And we're like, guess what?
We thought of so many different ways of how you can get it in.
And we're so creative because we knew this for a long time.
And our members have come up with genius ideas on how you can get this brain work in daily.
And then it's, oh, I don't have the time.
And then we go, but what do you spend your time on?
Yeah.
And it's not that we're trying to like make you feel like you're needing to have an excuse.
It's just you're just not ready.
And so what Paloma is saying is we accept and we've worked on ourselves so much to just
know it's not personal.
We don't take it personal.
I mean, obviously, if someone's going to call us a specific name, we'll be like, that kind
of feel it.
We have feelings.
But we're also projecting.
We get it.
And it's just like you weren't ready.
And I look, I can do the whole same thing with me.
And I'm like, why didn't I do this stuff sooner?
Like, why did I get married to somebody if I knew that wasn't the partner that was going
to fulfill me?
And then I'm like, but that doesn't serve me because that just keeps me stuck in this
guilt and shame loop.
And we just want everyone to know that when you are ready, that resistance will release.
And then all of a sudden the doors will open and you're like, OK, I'm ready.
And it's so easy to get caught up in your day to day life.
And we all do it.
We get caught up in our habits, in our routines, in our wants, in our needs, and our things
that we have to do and that we want to do.
And I think that that's one of the first pieces that you either hit a really specific pain
point and you're like, OK, now I really want to do this.
Now I really want to change.
Or you get to the point where you're growing in a different way.
So whether that's situational or you're doing another method, you're doing meditation, for
example, lots of people that come to us have done lots of meditation or have done lots
of other somatic practices and that kind of stuff.
And that has helped their nervous system ease into the idea of starting to do the brainwork.
And so I think that's also OK.
And that also happens to everybody.
We were just talking about our resistance to meditation.
We were we both have such resistance.
I have been thinking about meditation for so long.
And I used to meditate, but like very little.
I never really was consistent with it.
And I started to think about it more recently because my friends started doing Vedic meditation.
And so they love it.
And I've just seen such amazing positive changes in them and the way that they are just themselves
just so much more easily.
And I'm like, OK, I'm going to look into it.
But I'm kind of, you know, I've been asking around, blah, blah, I'm going to go to this
talk, this informational thing.
And there's a part of me that's like, you have so many other meditation options, by
the way.
And today, Danny and I were like, what's the resistance?
I'm like, I was muscle checking myself.
I want to do it.
I see the value in it.
I am excited to do it.
I don't have any resistance to the actual meditation.
What I have resistance to is making that spot in my day for the meditation.
And that's where I found a really good reconnect.
OK, I find that space.
I make that space for this thing.
But that's what we tell our members, too.
It's like it's not even that long per day.
But everybody finds excuses.
And if you really look back at your day, there were 20 minutes or 10 minutes for meditating
that you could have done instead of, you know, whatever you were doing, staring at the wall,
scrolling, whatever you were doing.
And this is where at ITC we explain that there is such a huge component of the brain and
how it's operating.
And if it's not wired to do certain things, it just can't.
And then we have our subconscious.
So in the subconscious program, we were given essentially from our first seven years of
life and the brain piece, which has really got me lately because I've been really focusing
on doing more brain work and I really know I have to do brain work to keep my life in
order.
And I started crawling more.
And I just told you like last week, I was like, Pullma, I used to do this thing where
like I would put in my mind, Oh, I got to go start my laundry.
I got to go do this.
It's going to take me like 20 minutes.
And I would just start to talk myself out of how long something was going to take me.
And then just last week, it clicked where I was like, I'm just going to go do it.
And then I would just get up and do it.
And then I would come back and look at the clock.
I was like, one minute went by.
That was it.
That took a minute.
And I had this huge relief of like, why did I do that to myself?
But because the midbrain, the crawling, that's why you crawl because you develop your midbrain
and it's so in charge of the dopamine.
It's so in charge of your time management.
It's in charge of just being able to like transition and move from one thing to the
next.
And if your crawl isn't organized, it's going to be really hard to just look at a task and
do it and complete it.
And this is why so many people that find us, they're like, I've started 13 projects or
I've started 15 books, haven't finished one.
It's because your brain just can't complete the whole task.
And it's such a thing that all of us humans experience.
And then that's coupled with our programming.
And Paloma was just talking about, and I was talking about my programming of like the codependency
stuff because we talked about that in the last episode.
But if you don't have like a good sense of like, you know, you were talking about your
messaging from your mom and how your mom would say to do one thing and then do the opposite
thing and you were just confused your whole life.
You're like, well, what should I do?
Exactly.
And that's where your brain is like, if you're constantly being told like, oh, be this, be
that, do this, do that, eat this, no, eat that.
You're just like, and so my nervous system went into freeze, like absolute freeze.
And I couldn't, I didn't feel emotions.
I don't think I noticed that until I started truly like thinking about it and like really
coming back to that.
I didn't like cry or like well up or like have those like emotional responses that sometimes
I see kids like, you know, those TikTok videos where they like cry because they got a new
puppy and stuff.
I would have never done that as a child.
And I would have had an emotion was when it was a tantrum and that it was really big.
That was like explosive throwing things, slamming doors, like for the silliest thing.
Like my mom didn't want to get me a pair of pants that I wanted at the mall.
And so that just destroyed, you know, my whole afternoon.
And so that's where my nervous system went into that.
And it was just like, I'm going to disconnect from the body completely because this is too
much.
I don't know what to do.
And that's a very common response for fight or flight, right?
For probably one of the primitive reflexes that was on for me, maybe the more, maybe
the fear paralysis, maybe one of the later ones.
But that's where my brain kind of got like stuck in that mode.
And I feel like it happens to so many people.
Like so many of us are out there with a nervous system that's in flight and we don't even
know or in fight and don't even know or freeze or fawn.
And that's the cool piece is like once you start to bring your brain out of that, you're
able to have more flexibility.
That's the first thing that people start to notice is that one is that they're more calm
and two is that they're more flexible.
They're more easygoing with like things that happen in their day to day.
Yeah.
Able to adapt is huge.
So like honestly, you integrated your fear paralysis reflex, which got you out of the
free state, and then you integrated your moral reflex, which calmed down the fight or flight.
So then you were able to now step into, oh wait, I can see things for what really I want.
Right?
Exactly.
Because then it was tripping up your fawn response because you're like fawning back
into abandoning you, becoming whatever your mom wanted you to be.
And once you started shifting out of that, you're like, wait, what do I want?
And so sometimes, and I did the same thing, and sometimes we look at it and go, well,
what do I want?
Because I've never actually really asked myself like, who am I?
What am I here to do?
Because we're just taking on what everybody thinks we should be.
Right?
And so for parents listening right now, if your child is exploring something new and
they're questioning it, like we just want you to support that questioning process with
them.
It doesn't mean you let them off the hook.
It doesn't mean you say, oh yeah, you're right.
You don't like this.
Don't do it.
Because my son hated baseball when he first started.
Yeah.
His morrow needed some attention and he was terrified of the ball.
Right?
And my instinct was I need to push him into an uncomfortable place because that's where
you grow.
And I'm like, you just need to test it out a little bit longer and you need to grow.
And then that moment is what shifted his whole trajectory because then that's what connected
us to all these amazing people and got us into the pod and all these things.
And I'm like, see that?
You push yourself into that uncomfortable space and then really cool things happen.
And that's the same thing for when I was getting a divorce.
I was like, I'm putting myself in the most uncomfortable thing in the entire world.
I'm going to move back in with my parents because I knew I could not start a business,
raise two kids and, and, and, and, and.
And I was like, but I held no shame in it.
I didn't feel like I was less than because I looked at it as what is success to me?
Success is honoring me is saying, hey, you're not happy with something.
You need to go figure out what's your truth.
And I'm so grateful.
My parents gave me that time and space to figure it out.
And now that I'm like through a lot of it, I'm like, Oh no, I need to meditate now.
Now I need to try to send to like another level.
I love that we're both at this point too.
And I was talking, we always do that.
We always do that.
We're like, cause I had been talking about the meditation and then you were like, I don't
know.
And then one day you were like, I'm into meditation.
I was like, wait, let's both do it.
Right.
Because I went to Dr. Joe dispenses per meter two weeks ago and he showed all the science
of what happens with meditation.
And you know, I've been really on a path to, I found Jesus and I'm like, so into all of
just, you know, figuring out like turning my power over to something bigger and better
than me.
And that's been a huge shift in my life.
And now I'm like, but wait, there's more I want to bring into this.
And I, you know, so then meditation came in and I was like, no, I can't do it.
I just can't do it.
But then I saw all the science behind it.
And Dr. Joe has, he didn't invent meditation, just like we didn't invent brain work or any
of this, but what our goal is, is to bring the science out in this.
So people are like less resistant to stepping in and getting weird on the floor.
But Dr. Joe has brought in the science and I was watching it.
They like these scientists at UCSD could not believe how much the blood in our body transformed
from pre meditation to after, like people were creating ways of like fighting off infection
just by meditating.
And I was like, okay, that's not my next step.
I need to do this and start.
Yeah.
And I think that if you hadn't been at this point of regulation, you wouldn't have been
able to push yourself into the uncomfortability.
So that's where I think that's where I like to, to look at it that way.
That's why I hold a lot of space.
Cause sometimes it's easy to get frustrated with people where you're like, you're making
these decisions that you don't like and that are putting you, they're sticking you in the
same cycle.
They're making you in a bad situation that you know, isn't good for you.
But at a certain point it's like, that's cause your nervous system just can't handle more
and your nervous system can't handle putting yourself in that uncomfortable situation to
create the change that creates the growth that aligns you more with who you want to
be.
I mean, there's just so much, right?
And so that's why I always say it's so important to hold space and to really come to things
when you're ready.
If you ever feel something's a little bit forced, it's not the right time.
Don't do it because that's your intuition telling you that sometimes the resistance
is good, right?
Sometimes you're not ready to do certain things or to look at certain things.
We talk about this all the time with certain reconnects, right?
Where I'm like, I have put certain reconnects off for like two years, but we just did a
couple, right?
We just checked a bunch right now and I already had a lot of them because I have been working
on them right afterwards when I was ready to actually face them.
And that's one of the biggest things.
And I think a lot of people sometimes will go into like a new methodology without having
the brain component like kind of sorted.
And so they're doing this one thing, but they don't have the other piece.
So this other thing doesn't always either finish working or get them to where they want
to be or align with who they are truly wanting to become, right?
That's why we always say you have to regulate the nervous system before you attempt to do
anything else.
So I think we both are ready for the meditation.
When I started trying to meditate, it was when I was in San Diego doing like being your
intern.
I was even creeping back then.
Like of course I couldn't meditate.
And I was meditating though.
I got to tell you, I was.
You were.
I remember.
My friend gifted me headspace for a year and I would be like, okay, I got to meditate.
I got to do this.
And then I would sit there with the headphones on and my head would just go in so many different
directions.
And I was like, gosh.
And I would start to get angry.
Like it's counterproductive right now.
And another big program I always had running through me because I grew up in a house where
you just didn't sit and chill.
You always had to be doing something.
And so I was like, I'm just sitting and chilling.
How is this saving anything?
Well, at least when I'm creeping, I'm moving, I'm going somewhere, right?
It looks like I'm efforting in some capacity, but sitting and doing nothing.
No, thank you.
And I remember I was like, but now my brain is so regulated.
Like it trips me out how regulated I am because I like catch myself.
I'm like, wow, I don't even like engage in things like I used to.
And it's so great.
I love not being in these crazy spaces anymore.
And now I'm like, I think I can actually tap into these deeper things because I've done
all these reconnects that have really set my program up to receive.
So I've created like a container that can hold exactly what is going to go next.
And I'm like, oh, I like that.
Right.
And when you're when you're creeping and crawling and doing your brain work, you're opening
that container, you're making it like deeper so that so much more can come into your space
into into your experience when you're ready for it.
Oh, I love that.
So good, because that was another big part for me.
I was like, OK, I've regulated my nervous system.
I now can identify why that person said this and what it triggered in me.
And I can immediately shift that.
And then I was like, oh, but I have a really deep wound that keeps running.
And I was like, I think I need to learn how to just sit and feel my emotions because I
have never explored that.
That's my next thing.
I'm like, when I feel sadness, I immediately want to go do something to make myself happy.
When I feel angry, I'm immediately creeping to like stop the anger.
Right.
Versus being like, hey, you're a human.
These are emotions.
So anger can come in you and out of you.
And we tell us to people all the time.
Yeah.
But it doesn't mean you have to be angry, have a meltdown at the mall shooting at your
pants.
I feel angry right now that I didn't get what I wanted, but I can learn to like adapt to
this situation.
And I never was taught that you weren't taught that none of I don't think really any of us
were taught that.
And if you were, you're totally the exception to this.
And at the same time, and this is also coupling with as we're doing the nurtured parenting
revolution, right?
Exactly.
That's yeah.
And we're reparenting ourselves.
And I'm like, and then the craziest thing.
So I go see the doctor Joe Dispensa just fell into my lap.
Like my friends, like I have a ticket for you.
I'm taking you.
I'm you know, just like the whole thing and it was just like such a flow.
And I'm like, OK, you know, when that resistance is lifting, because all of a sudden things
start flowing and just effortless.
Right.
And then I'm like, oh, my gosh, I love that I can see the science behind this.
Now I'm buying in.
And then I randomly oh, my chiropractor randomly reached out to me.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, you want to come and I have something you have to try.
Because that's the one thing I don't like to just sit and meditate to like someone talking
and we talk about this all the time.
And then they tell us these really crazy scenarios.
Yeah.
We're like, what?
Jump out of a plane right now.
How's that?
Yeah, like, wait, I thought I was just on a mountain and now I'm in an elevator and now
I'm on a plane.
But then like, no, like what?
Yeah.
Like our subconscious is like, OK, that's ridiculous.
We're not.
We're so resistant to that.
That might be something, though.
That must be something.
I overanalyze things all the time, like not just with the meditation, not overanalyze.
I immediately like what like do that, right?
I'm looking at the little pieces of it instead of just I know it's just a figure of speech.
I'm not actually on a plane and then I'm on and then in the lake.
Right.
But my logical brain like jumps in that maybe that'll help with it with the meditation.
100 percent.
And so I went to see my chiropractor last week and he had me lay down.
He had me on a PM PMF mat and then also on top of this other cool thing that like vibrated
and was making noises.
And it was so sceptic.
Yeah, it was like a haptic mag.
We'll link it in the show notes if you want to explore it.
I have not participated in it like frequently enough.
I've done it once.
Let's just be clear.
Anyway, so I did it.
And then he also put like an infrared light over me and I was blown away and my kids were
sitting in the room with me and they're just like there's a funny video.
I had to take a video of me doing it and she's like, Mom's doing some weird thing now.
Like my kids are so exposed to the weird stuff.
And I was like, what just happened?
Like I went somewhere, but it's because my container was open and able to take in more.
So then I told my chiropractor, like, that's so cool.
I really want one.
But I wasn't clear on my messaging of definitely order me one.
He texted me like two days ago, like your thing is here.
I was like, oh, no, I didn't mean to actually say order it because it's kind of pricey.
And I was like, but you know what, I need to not be resistant to prioritizing me.
And I've been asking for meditation and this came into my world.
This is another thing that I'm like, I need to do this.
Like I need to take this on and do it and not feel guilt or shame or anything.
Like this is about me taking care of me so I can take my place, myself to another place
of like really being able to sit in my emotions.
So I will keep you posted on this and how it goes.
So but I just think it's so cool because so much of just the human experience is getting
new information, having it make sense inside of your mind before you're able to step into
something else.
And we just want to be the people who say we get it.
We understand the mechanics behind the brain and why it's not easy to intake new information.
We also want to tell you we're here to hold space for you.
And so there's no excuses needed.
If you're like, I'm not ready.
We get it.
You can give us a just say I'm not ready yet.
And we got that.
Like we're like, hey, we will hold space for you for when you are ready.
And we're projectors.
We wait for the invitation.
We don't push things on people.
And you know, it's so funny, like I waited for the invitation to do something.
Yes, everybody was on board.
And then there's a lot of pushback, which is so interesting.
So that was good feedback to me.
That the one have 100% on board clarity.
Yes.
Invitation.
So we also to Lindsay on our last episode, all she did was 10, 15 exploding rocks a day.
A day.
So that took her two minutes.
And from doing just that reflex integration, it opened her up to now I'm ready to do more.
So that moral reflex is so freaking strong.
It's so it comes on really quick.
If this is why this is a PSA, if you ever jump out from behind a wall to scare somebody,
we're asking you to please stop because it turns on your reflexes because your brain
isn't expecting it.
And it thinks it's an attack like Ellen used to do this on her show all the time.
You jump out of the box and everyone grabs their heart givers.
Oh my gosh.
Because you want to have a startle reflex.
It's healthy.
Like you're walking down the street, a car crashes.
You want to look and have like attention to it and be prepared for what's coming at me.
But if you're brushing your teeth in your room and you're living with your partner and
they walk by and that startles you, that's a sign that that reflex is not where it's
supposed to be.
And by jumping out at people, it creates adrenaline and cortisol in that person who just got scared.
And so now it turns on these reflexes and the brain goes, okay, it's time to survive
again.
Yeah, exactly.
And if you have this morrow that stays retained, you're somebody who just experiences a lot
of everyday challenges.
And one of the main things is just being resistant, resistant to change, resistant to feedback,
resistant to releasing control and just being in the flow.
So if you heard anything today, 10 Exploding Rocks will get you out of that and we can
help you with that.
Yes.
But we'll wait until you're ready.
I love it.
Okay, so thank you for being here.
Remember to subscribe and rate the podcast and share it and ask us any questions.
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We have two things to share with you today.
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Yeah, three weeks ago.
But you should join.
We started the first live call.
It's recorded, so you're not going to lose that first part.
It is amazing.
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The program will be available after the three month program that we're doing live.
And so you can always get it afterward and just watch the recordings.
But it has been just so, so, so, so great.
So please join us.
That program is with Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum from the Nurture Revolution.
You've probably heard of her because we're very much in the same circles.
So yeah, thank you so much for being here and goodbye.
Thank you.
Oh no, where did my mouse go?
Here.
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