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Hi, and welcome to the In The Cortex podcast.

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We are your hosts.

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I'm Poloma Garcia.

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And I am Danny Parakoni.

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And we're the founders of In The Cortex, an online community with programs that show

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people the tools that they need to change their lives, their brain reorganization, no

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medication, just movement.

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When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start

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to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex.

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Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life.

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And now on to today's episode.

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Hello, and welcome to another podcast episode.

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And this is a special one.

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They're also special, but this one's especially special because we have a guest today.

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And this is Lindsay.

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She is my best friend of 31 years, right?

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And so we've been through a lot together.

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We basically call each other sisters because we've grown up together.

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And today we are having a really awesome, raw, vulnerable conversation.

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And she does not love these, but she volunteered or was kind of nudged very strongly by me

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to come over and do it.

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Slightly guided.

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Slightly guided.

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And we're going to talk about something that just kind of came into your world.

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And you're just going to kind of share your experience with our listeners about how you

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started bringing in some brain work, some journaling.

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And then I sent you a podcast and it kind of just exploded your world a bit.

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And the topic is all about codependency and how that connects to brain reorganization

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and how there's so much overlap happening in those two departments.

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Well, also really quick, this is going to be kind of like a workshop for people that

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are curious as to like what our one-on-one sessions look like, how we help people kind

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of coach people through these moments where they're trying to find the subconscious beliefs

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and they're trying to get to that next level of like, how do I get to the root of what

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I'm feeling and what I'm experiencing, right?

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So this is kind of like a live.

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And that's why I thank you, Lindsay, so much for doing this.

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Absolutely.

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Well, thank you both for having me.

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So my name is Lindsay and I work for a nonprofit, NHR.

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And yeah, so I've known about brain organization and brain work and ITC for many years now.

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And I've just been kind of on a path of getting healthy.

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And this is like a new, this kind of wellness, this is a new journey for me.

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And I am just so grateful to have my bestie be able to kind of be my biggest fan and coach

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here and help me with all of doing this.

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And so I, I've started to do kind of a daily like ritual, if you will, but before work,

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I've started incorporating, exploding rocks and I've been doing this for about a month

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now.

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And it's just been kind of really subtle, but I've been able to, I think, notice changes

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in how I am able to present myself and how I'm able to have conversations that are difficult

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where I would always ignore them.

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Or I would maybe try to mask it and I would maybe, you know, try to use a drink to try

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to open up things like that.

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But kind of help me get into that space where I felt confident to do these things.

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And so I've been sticking with it for about a month now and sense this kind of realization

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of, I don't know, just I guess, learning who I kind of who I, who I am.

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And I really didn't know who I was and really facing who like my truth and who I like my

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identity.

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And it kind of all just happened the last like month, this past week, especially I, Danny

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shared a podcast on codependency and I listened to it and I'm just like, huh, why have I been

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hiding from who I am?

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Why can't I confront who I am?

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And just kind of feeling really exposed and really wanting to not avoid the pain and fear

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and just kind of directly going at it.

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And so I think through the brain organization, the exploiting rocks and kind of helping with

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the moral reflex integration, I've been able to really confront my truth.

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And so I'm just super excited and a little bit scared, but I'm okay with that.

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So

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I'm here, it's a huge deal.

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Yeah, like even doing this, like I didn't want to, but I'm here.

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And so it's, it's I'm present and I, it's, you know, it's not, it's not so terrifying

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and it's like I'm with people who I really trust implicitly and they're both professionals.

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So, so I'm here and I'm excited.

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I'm scared, but I'm all the things, but it's, it's kind of like day one and I'm doing it.

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Yeah.

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And I'm happy here.

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So I have known each other for like I said, 31 years.

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And there's, you know, there's always those people like Pullman, I talk about this all

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the time about like what people would really benefit from doing brain work because we both

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have been through it.

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And we know the changes that happen.

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And I've just like really worked on, you're like my first person that I really know I

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had to like hold so much space for because I'm like, oh, I just know Lindsay's going

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to find it one day.

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And she's going to like her life is just going to start to come together.

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And it just so happened, she was telling me the other day, like literally explaining to

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me, she's like, yeah, you know, I just went and had this really hard conversation.

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I was like, wait, what?

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You had that hard conversation.

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And she's like, oh yeah, I just like told this person, this and this person, this.

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And I was like, okay, just for some context here, Lindsay had a roommate that she had

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to have a conversation with about having her dog and she couldn't have the conversation

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for how long?

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Oh, like months, six months, six months.

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And she was so terrified to have a conversation about just a dog and the logistics of the dog

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being in the apartment and because the roommate wasn't cool with it.

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And she was just so nervous to have a conversation.

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And now like she's telling me just a few days ago, oh yeah, I just had this hard conversation

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and this really hard conversation about setting a boundary of like, I, this is my worth and

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I won't accept anything less.

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And I was like, what have you been doing?

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And she's like, oh, I've been journaling.

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I'm like, anything else?

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Oh, I asked, I said, have you been creeping?

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That's what I asked you.

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And you're like, no, just journaling and then like a couple of minutes later, she's like,

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oh, I've been doing exploding rocks and exploding rocks integrate the moral reflex.

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The moral reflex is a major, major reflex for your fight flight and free will not necessarily

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freeze as much as mainly your fight or flight.

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And also really quick for the listeners who aren't as familiar with like the lingo, the

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moral reflex is the start of the infant startle reflex.

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So the reason we have it is so that if the baby encounters like a really loud noise or

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there's a change in like the, the position of the head or like something that is going

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to be threatening, truly threatening, right?

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To the baby in those first few months of life, they start to like scream just so that the

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parents will come.

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Like they basically can't do anything because they're two, three months old, right?

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So that's what that reflex is there for.

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However, if it stays on when we're older, it kind of turns into the opposite where it

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like wants to create like a little bit of a, a bubble around us, right?

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So if we still have our moral reflex on, we're going to be people who kind of, you know,

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try to get into a lot of like people pleasing tendencies and they're going to be maybe super,

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super shy, try to control everything, not be great with transitions because the brain

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knows that anything that's different or new or unexpected is going to throw them back

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into that fight or flight.

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And so that's kind of like where I think a lot of your stuff was coming from Lindsay

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of like really wanting to just avoid, avoid, avoid all these things as your moral being

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like, absolutely not.

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This is, I'm in my bubble.

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I'm not going to deal with that, right?

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Yeah.

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Now you nailed it.

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That's exactly.

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I didn't want to be seen.

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That's something that I've been, you know, I've been hiding.

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I've been hiding.

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I don't want to be, I want to be seen now and I want to be heard.

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And these are, you know, I have things, you know, I want, I have things I want to, you

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know, say and share and I want people to, you know, I guess have a better, a better

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connection with people.

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So, yes, I'm going to, I'm going to start writing down some reconnects by the way for

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you.

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I love this.

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And being seen too is such like a, like from a survival standpoint, you don't want to be

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seen, right?

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You want to hide and blend in.

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And now Lindsay's like, wait, I'm not actually in a survival space anymore.

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I want to be seen.

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I want my truth to come out.

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I want my authentic life to begin.

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And I'm like so excited for you.

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And you know too, you're like, this is hard because obviously our nervous system craves

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what we know.

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And to step into this space, that's why it's scary because you're like, what does this

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mean?

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And so I hope we can do another talk to you in like a few months.

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Obviously, you like go through this work more of like, okay, now what's your journey looking

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like and sharing with listeners who are maybe in a similar position?

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Cause a lot of people are, okay, I just identified some major things.

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I really don't want this life anymore and you can share your experience, but we can

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talk about that later.

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And I'm like, oh my gosh, just by doing your exploding rocks every day, just 10, how many

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do you do?

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I do 15.

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Okay.

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15 exploding rocks.

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It takes you how long?

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Two, three minutes?

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Not even.

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Less than five minutes.

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Less than five minutes to do that routine.

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And now all of a sudden she's facing some massive, hard conversations out of the blue.

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And I've known Lindsay for a very long time.

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So it's not her norm to get into this space.

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And it was so apparent that she made this massive shift.

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And then she's all of a sudden receptive to, oh, what's that podcast?

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And then connecting dots of like, Oh my gosh, that's me.

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And I'm like, dude, it's me too.

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I'm a codependent.

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Like I'm a recovering codependent and working on this too.

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So it's just showing you that like these simple movements will unlock this fear you've been

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holding in your head that wasn't real for so long.

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You were perceiving things as a threat that weren't real threats.

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But now your brain's coming out of that.

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And now you're like, wait, wait, this is new information I can now intake and now shift.

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And now I'm ready to have these conversations.

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So massive kudos.

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And I'm like so excited.

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And yeah, so let's get into it.

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What are some signs of being a codependent?

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A deep seated need for approval from others.

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I feel like I'm a little forth that depends on the way that others think about you.

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I feel like so many people identify with this.

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Like I wouldn't identify the codependent, but some of these things I'm like, that's literally me.

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A habit of taking on more than you can realistically handle both to earn praise or to lighten a loved one's burden.

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Like how many times have you done that?

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I feel like that's, that's, didn't you do it all the time?

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As I just posted, I'm the feel lucky cop.

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I'm like, girl, I was like, okay, listen to each other.

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We all got our own journey.

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We talked about it.

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Okay.

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No, I know.

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It's like, we'll see how that looks.

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A tendency to apologize or take blame on in order to keep the peace.

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So it's peacekeeping above all, which is fun, right?

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So you're saying, you know, Moro is fight, flight, freeze, fun.

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The more moral may not make you freeze as much because that's where the fear paralysis

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reflex comes in, but the fawning very much is that, right?

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Because your Moro is like, I don't want to be seen.

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I'm too scared to, you know, cause any, any, any stirs, anything that's unpredictable

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is bad.

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So I'm just going to make everything, everybody be happy.

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Everybody be calm and chill.

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Therefore avoiding conflict is another one.

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Minimizing or ignoring your own desires.

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That's a big deal.

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And I feel like so many people do that, especially like now society, am I right?

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The expectations, okay, that's not, I didn't do it with myself, but, you know, I, I do

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think that like it's, there's so much of a narrative out there, especially like for

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you and me as entrepreneurs who it's like, you have to do everything and like, you know,

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split sweat and tears for your business, blah, blah.

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And it's like, I'm also allowed to be a person and have a life.

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Like it's not, it can't, it doesn't have to be one or the other, right?

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And yeah, excessive concern about loved ones, habits or behaviors.

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I feel like that's a big one for women, especially usually with our moms because that's just the

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way it is.

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A habit of making decisions for others or trying to manage your loved ones.

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And you and I talk about this all the time, Danny, and we'll get further into these.

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There's a few left.

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A mood that reflects how others feel rather than your own emotions.

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That's such a big one.

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Fulfill your anxiety when doing something for yourself, doing things that you don't really

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want to do simply to make others happy, idealizing partners or other loved ones, often to the

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point of maintaining relationships that make you unfulfilled.

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How many of you boy like that are out there, you know, overwhelming fears of rejection or

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abandonment.

237
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So a lot.

238
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And I feel like as I have been on this journey of really finding my authentic self, I'm like,

239
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okay, I definitely had a deep seated need for approval for mothers.

240
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I definitely cared what others thought about me.

241
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,640
I definitely took on more than I needed to.

242
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And now that I'm aware of it, it's different because I'll still do a lot of these things,

243
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,880
but it's not in the same sense.

244
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It hits different.

245
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,640
And that's where the programming and me have shifted.

246
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,000
But let's talk about like, where does this programming come from?

247
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,160
And we talk about programming in our business all the time.

248
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We talk about in the cortex.

249
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A whole big portion of our program is looking up the subconscious, where did you pick these

250
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,920
patterns up?

251
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:55,320
And we were just doing a really awesome call today with our parenting group and it's with

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Dr. Guerreira.

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And it was so awesome.

254
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And Lindsay just so happened to come over and she was laying on the couch listening and

255
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:05,920
she was like, Oh my gosh, I was a high needs baby.

256
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:12,000
And you were also a high needs baby, but you were calling it high needs back in the day.

257
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,720
And Greer will just call it like you're a deep feeling child or baby.

258
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And you also have high stress and low stress needs.

259
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,920
And so it's just a different way of looking at it.

260
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,400
Like you were just a baby that needed more nurturing.

261
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:29,360
And if we really boil it all down and look at where it all started, and this is not to

262
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:35,000
blame any parent or any caregiver, this is just to shine the light on it and to become

263
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,080
like, let's normalize the conversation.

264
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:41,280
Let's start talking about how this effect is going to show up later in life.

265
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,680
So your mom, she had your sister.

266
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,080
And then how many months later were you born?

267
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,080
11.

268
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,640
11 months later.

269
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,800
And your sister had hip dysplasia.

270
00:14:51,800 --> 00:15:00,000
Yeah, she was in a full body cast and yeah, full body cast and my mom was obviously taking

271
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,920
care of me, but she couldn't take care of my sister.

272
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:07,160
So it was a constant like, you know, she was having to rely on a lot of other people.

273
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,520
But I think when I didn't, I don't know.

274
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:12,600
I guess I didn't get enough time with her or something, but yeah.

275
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:13,600
But you did.

276
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:18,200
It's just that your mom didn't know how to nurture you, how you needed to because our

277
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:23,120
society and the expectations are, oh, that baby should just be sleeping on its own.

278
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,800
That baby just should be able to self soothe, right?

279
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:30,360
And that's what Greer's book is dispelling all the myths of like, what is parenting and

280
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,080
what should it really be considered?

281
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,920
And we've kind of skewed all that in today's world.

282
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,640
And so this is not to shame your mom.

283
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,840
This is just to let your mom know that she did the best she could with the information

284
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:46,200
she had and you were a product of having needs that didn't get met, right?

285
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:50,440
And so when you don't get your needs met and this goes into, you know, babies who cry and

286
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,440
they cry it out and eventually if no one shows up for them, they just shut down and

287
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,760
then people go, Oh, look, that baby's finally sleeping.

288
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,120
No, they shut down.

289
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,120
They turned off.

290
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,160
They're like, no one's listening to my cues.

291
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,960
So obviously I'm not being heard.

292
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,160
And so you stop.

293
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,800
And so this is a lot of where a lot of the codependency comes from, right?

294
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:14,120
Is like where you're looking for, you know, you don't want to have any conflict maybe

295
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:17,920
because you're like, you know, when I cried out for help, my parents fought in the background

296
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,400
of like having to take care of me and they were overwhelmed.

297
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,760
So then you just create this pattern of like, Oh, I just don't want to store things up.

298
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,000
Like I don't want to make anybody mad again.

299
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,400
And this is all in the program that you have created, right?

300
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,080
But that's not the story you want anymore.

301
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,320
So you get to shift it, right?

302
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,080
So we can unpack some of this today.

303
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,240
You feel up for it?

304
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:42,720
Which of those lists of the common signs of codependency do you feel hit you the absolute

305
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:47,480
most self-worth that depends on what others think about you?

306
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,600
That's huge.

307
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,040
That's a really big one.

308
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,080
And why do you think the one stands out the most for you?

309
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,400
Like where does that come from?

310
00:16:54,400 --> 00:17:01,120
I think it comes from a fear of, you know, rejection or, you know, not, you know, approval.

311
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:07,000
But I feel, I don't know, I feel like it could be a lack of security, you know?

312
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,560
I feel like I don't want that taken away.

313
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:16,080
And so I want to make sure I avoid any conflict or, you know, I want to make sure that everyone's

314
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,880
happy, you know, keep piecing or peacekeeping.

315
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,760
And that was my job.

316
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:21,880
So I didn't know.

317
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,840
That was your job when you were a kid at home.

318
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,120
To make sure everyone was okay.

319
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:29,840
If there was fight, you know, I mean, it just, it was kind of a role I kind of took on.

320
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:34,600
It felt normal and it felt healthy, but it really, I don't think it really helped me.

321
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:38,840
Do you, do you feel like maybe because your sister had like the whole hip situation and

322
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:45,960
like a lot of your parents' attention and resources had to go to her that you, that

323
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:50,120
that's why you decided to be like, okay, well, I'm going to take on the other role.

324
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,760
Or like, was it causing lots of problems in the house?

325
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:58,960
Like, is this, do you think like a sibling thing or more like your parents were just

326
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:05,840
not giving you that, that kind of nurture and, and, and I could be that value that you

327
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:06,840
were looking for.

328
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:12,000
I really thought about, you know, maybe having to do with my sister.

329
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,800
I didn't really, I don't really think it has to do a lot with my sister, but I think it

330
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,880
was just more just kind of like the chaos in the house.

331
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:23,160
And I didn't have any control of it.

332
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,160
And I don't know.

333
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,320
So just got that a little bit.

334
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,320
What did the chaos look like?

335
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,320
Or where did it come from?

336
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,320
Like who do you think?

337
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,320
Or where was it stemming from?

338
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,320
Yeah.

339
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,520
Was it like, oh my gosh, like, was it like a parent with a disorganized brain?

340
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,440
Cause that often happens, right?

341
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:42,320
Somebody who's just like always late or always, you know, running, it forgets things and just

342
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,520
like, kind of all over the place.

343
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:48,160
Or was it more like emotional stuff where one person was very reactive and the other one

344
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,600
was maybe trying to keep the peace or was it a little bit of both?

345
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:56,240
I think it's a combination, but I think a lot has to do with, you know, how my parents

346
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,000
were probably really struggling.

347
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:07,160
And you know, I think a lot has to do with like now knowing about my dad.

348
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:12,360
I don't think he was, you know, I like, I don't blame him, but he, he didn't have the

349
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,520
skills to really handle my sister and myself.

350
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:20,120
And my mom was doing the best she could, but they just didn't have the skills.

351
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:23,520
They didn't know how to, I guess do it.

352
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,120
And so I felt like I needed to step in.

353
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,240
I don't know, that's kind of been my role.

354
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,240
Yeah.

355
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,240
That's it.

356
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,240
That's it.

357
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,240
And that was me too.

358
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,240
Yeah.

359
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,000
I was definitely the peacekeeper at my house cause my brother was definitely a terror.

360
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,840
And you know, I got thrown off to the wayside a lot and it was always like, Danny, just

361
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,840
do it cause you won't have a melt on about it.

362
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:41,920
Just can you handle it?

363
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,960
And so internally I'm like, he got off of everything.

364
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,800
Like he didn't have to do any of the chores because they were just like, oh, he'll throw

365
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,040
a melt down and he won't have to do it.

366
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:54,760
But if you really look at the pattern and you look at your dad and you look at your

367
00:19:54,760 --> 00:20:00,640
mom and then you look at how your siblings handled the word, how you handled the world.

368
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:06,280
And it's like interesting because my dad and brother were mirrors, right?

369
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:11,240
And it was very much like, you know, just have a melt down and you get off, which we

370
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,040
now can consider weaponized incompetence, right?

371
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,520
Cause they actually could do things.

372
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,200
And that's where I'd say your, your sister falls under is like the weaponized incompetence.

373
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,480
Like I just can't do it.

374
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,480
So then you were just like, I have to do it.

375
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,120
And it still plays out today.

376
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:26,120
It does.

377
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,360
And I just thought of this.

378
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,160
She was in a full body cast.

379
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:33,040
Did she get any movements she needed when she was growing up?

380
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,040
Absolutely not.

381
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:38,320
And now she has been labeled and this is what's so, oh my gosh, this is the first thing I

382
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,560
thought when you said it at the cast.

383
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:45,760
Like this is so crazy because, you know, she's always had like learning challenges, right?

384
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:51,760
And it's, but she's been considered and labeled and diagnosed as person who's incompetent.

385
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,520
But let's look at it like, what if she actually did all the brain work?

386
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,640
And what if she all of a sudden just found her true self?

387
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,240
Like you are right now.

388
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,240
How crazy of a story.

389
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,960
It would be a totally different story.

390
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,200
And then all the dynamics have changed.

391
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,680
Cause when Lindsay's with me, like I, we were just talking about this, like I literally

392
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,800
like run the show and I'm like, we're going to do this, this, this and this.

393
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,280
And she's just along for the ride.

394
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,280
Literally.

395
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:21,000
So I always say I have three kids with Lindsay's with me because I have my two and then Lindsay.

396
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,600
And I'm like, yeah, she's just a child, right?

397
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:27,520
Cause she just is like, oh thank goodness I don't have to beat the person who does stuff.

398
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:28,520
Right.

399
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,520
Yeah.

400
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:30,520
I didn't really think about that.

401
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:31,520
I know.

402
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:32,520
That's funny.

403
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:33,880
I feel like I fall into that role with you too.

404
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,880
Where I'm like, okay, mommy's taking care of everything.

405
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,880
And you're just like, okay, let's go.

406
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:42,400
And I'm like, I'm thinking of that time we went to Tory Bynes and the three of us are

407
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,400
just like, behind you.

408
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,400
I'm in another dimension.

409
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,160
I'm in another dimension.

410
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,720
I wish you could experience.

411
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,600
I do, but I think you're, we're good.

412
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:55,800
Oh, see, and this is what's so great is like, then you find that partner.

413
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,000
Cause like when I'm with Sam, for example, like I let him take the control and I'm like,

414
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,000
oh thank goodness, I don't have to think anymore.

415
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:05,600
Like it's so nice to have that person that can take over for you, but that's codependency.

416
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:06,600
My exact.

417
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:13,000
That's exactly like, I depend on you to help me get my needs met.

418
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,840
So when you start to become aware of it, and then a big thing that we've been talking

419
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:22,640
about lately too, and this can maybe go back into the chaos and maybe deciding like where

420
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,680
you want to be in this is like, what story do you actually want to tell?

421
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,920
And what story is yours?

422
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:33,080
So so much time you talk about like your mom and like your mom's approval and needing

423
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,520
your mom's approval, like where does that even come from?

424
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:40,760
But and you don't even have to pinpoint exactly when it hit, but you can also start looking

425
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,040
at like, but that's not my story.

426
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:47,320
And like, because you feel very responsible for now what happens with your mom.

427
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,600
I do.

428
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,080
And that's something that I'm like, that's not your job.

429
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,080
I tell you that all the time.

430
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,080
I do.

431
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,080
Yeah, that's not your role.

432
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:58,520
I do have a, you know, that's crazy story of me running her over with a car and she's

433
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:02,160
still, I know, yeah, if you didn't know, I had a little whoopsie.

434
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,040
Okay, that sounds way worse than it was.

435
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,360
That is definitely a whoopsie doodle, Lindsay.

436
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:08,960
That was a major whoopsie.

437
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:09,960
Let me paint the picture.

438
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:10,960
Yeah, I want some on this.

439
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,760
Yeah, Lindsay was there's a held for 13.

440
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:15,760
Okay.

441
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:20,160
We were neighbors too at the time and Lindsay was going to pull out the vehicle from the

442
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,880
driveway so we'll give it a car wash.

443
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:28,920
Her mom was giving her directions with the driver door open and she was standing between

444
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,080
the driver door and the car.

445
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:34,560
And so Lindsay put her foot from the break to the gas.

446
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:35,560
Car was on.

447
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,800
It started rolling on an incline and I thought, Oh shoot.

448
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,840
Okay, and then it's like in reverse and then my mom's like, hit the break.

449
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,960
I'm like, Oh shoot, this is a 50 50 chance.

450
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,960
I hit the wrong one.

451
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,520
So she hit the back in reverse.

452
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:56,320
This door totally pulls her and she's dragged in, you know, down the driveway in the street

453
00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:00,960
and then the car finally ends up in the driveway, you know, the neighbor's yard and the power

454
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:01,960
box and the power box.

455
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:02,960
It went out.

456
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:03,960
It was a big day.

457
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:04,960
It was.

458
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:05,960
Unfortunately.

459
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,760
I was in the Lindsay's all of a sudden at my house for a little while.

460
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:09,760
I was like, Oh, cool.

461
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:10,760
Lindsay's having sleepovers.

462
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:17,920
And I had no idea her mom was in the hospital because she hit her with the car door.

463
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:24,160
Anyways, but that scenario has stuck in Lindsay's head and now she has this massive guilt and

464
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:29,440
her mom plays into it because her mom has a lot of co-dependency stuff and her mom will

465
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,680
like continuously like be like, Oh, my back's hurt.

466
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,120
It's probably from when you ran.

467
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:34,520
All the time.

468
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,760
I get it.

469
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,000
It's never lost on me.

470
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,000
Yeah.

471
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000
What happened?

472
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000
Right.

473
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,120
But see this is where a reconnect can come in and you can surrender that and be like,

474
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:46,520
you're human and you were 13.

475
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,840
So you didn't really know how to drive.

476
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,160
And there's so much logic behind that that I'm like, that's not your story.

477
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:57,200
Like that's what you need to surrender and get rid of because no one can give you that

478
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:01,320
shame or guilt because that's not for you.

479
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:02,320
That's not serving you.

480
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:06,720
And that's really when we look at co-dependency is like, is this serving you?

481
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:07,960
It probably isn't.

482
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,560
So what are you going to do about it now?

483
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:10,560
Right?

484
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,400
So then you're going to reshape it exactly so that it works for you.

485
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,280
And I, let's just go really quick into the definition of co-dependency because we didn't

486
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,440
talk about that in the beginning.

487
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,600
So it's a way of behaving in relationships where you persistently prioritize someone else

488
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:23,600
over you.

489
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:27,200
I think that was kind of clear from the things that we read out before and you assess your

490
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,040
mood based on how they behave.

491
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:35,800
The therapist named Vicky Botnik explained that co-dependency often involves a sense

492
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,880
of forgetting where you end and where your partner begins.

493
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:46,360
I feel like that's such a great way of like describing it because you just feel this like

494
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:49,760
this connection that's just so deep.

495
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:54,280
And I feel like that's where you start to go into the patterns of like figuring out

496
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,800
whatever, not even figuring out, just always knowing what they're going to feel, how they're

497
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,920
going to react, what's going to be their thought about this thing.

498
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,360
And every time we do something new or something big happens in your life, you're like, I wonder

499
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:05,640
what this person's going to think about it.

500
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,440
This is your first thought, right?

501
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:13,160
And so that's kind of not like, why would that be there?

502
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,600
If you're not a child, why would that be a thing that you would think about?

503
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:20,720
But if you have these patterns, obviously that's where it goes, right?

504
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:25,520
And like it can eventually lead to a disconnection from your own needs and desires, promote

505
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:32,080
unhealthy relationship dynamics, absolutely, and affect self-worth and overall well-being.

506
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:36,360
And what is the best way to help this is creating boundaries.

507
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:39,640
And that's what your conversations were as soon as you started doing your exploding

508
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,520
rocks and having awareness.

509
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:45,200
And so as soon as you start to create the boundaries and you start realizing like, wait, because

510
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,120
you're upset, I'm not going to be upset.

511
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,240
That's your stuff, not mine.

512
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:52,000
And you'll see like as you get more into this work, everyone's just projecting and

513
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,000
mirroring everything, right?

514
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:59,440
And so you can start to realize like, wait, you can be in that space, that's your story,

515
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,520
I don't want that story anymore.

516
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:02,800
And that's really what this is about.

517
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:06,520
And so when you start to look at what boundaries you want to create, how do you want to live

518
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:07,520
your authentic self?

519
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,960
So what do you need in order to get there?

520
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,280
And a lot of times we have to just love ourselves.

521
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,600
Like, have you ever thought about just like loving who you are?

522
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,560
So then you can start to create the boundaries because you love yourself so much, you know?

523
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:23,040
I've never really, I don't think I have.

524
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,040
Right.

525
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,560
That's another reconnect, by the way, I'm just writing it down.

526
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,760
This is interesting guys though, really quick.

527
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,840
Because I think this is something that a lot of people have kind of dealt with at least

528
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,560
peripherally.

529
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:40,840
Experts originally introduced the term codependency in the 1940s to help describe specific behavior

530
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:45,280
patterns that they noticed in partners and family members of people living with alcohol

531
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,600
use disorder.

532
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:52,400
By this original definition, codependent might describe loved ones who enabled alcohol use

533
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:58,400
and the signs included making excuses, hiding the alcohol use and protecting the person from

534
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,400
any fallout or consequences of their actions.

535
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:05,440
And so this kind of comes to, and now they're saying experts now agree that it's become a

536
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:10,240
much more nuanced and more complex or, you know, situation and dynamic.

537
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:16,680
But this is where we kind of go back to when you were little, little and your mom is the

538
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:20,240
person who you're feeling the most codependency with right now.

539
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:25,040
And so you're saying she, the first thing you said earlier was she couldn't handle it.

540
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:26,160
There was too much.

541
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:27,280
She couldn't.

542
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,320
She was doing the best that she could.

543
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:34,640
And so that's already you noticing that there was something there that was missing, right?

544
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,960
You're acknowledging that there was something that was missing, which is normal because

545
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,840
every parent, no parents ever going to be perfect, right?

546
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,760
But that's where you took on this role of like something's missing, but that's okay.

547
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,440
I'm the person who's going to help her get it, right?

548
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,320
Because of the other dynamics that were going on in your family, because some people can

549
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:56,000
have a parent that doesn't necessarily have all the tools slash most of us had that, right?

550
00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:01,320
Most people have that and not necessarily take on that, that role of like, I'm going

551
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:02,320
to be the hero.

552
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:05,600
I'm going to be the one that like really takes charge here.

553
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:10,440
And I don't say hero in like an egotistical way at all.

554
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:14,000
It's like kind of like more of like the triangle, which we talked about in the last episode,

555
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,200
but I'll explain that a little bit.

556
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:20,640
But it's more your tiny little self being like, okay, there's a, there's a gap that

557
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,560
I need to film this family that somebody needs to film this family.

558
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:24,560
And that's going to be me.

559
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:29,280
I'm going to abandon myself because also my brain is disorganized and have all these reflexes

560
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,280
that are on.

561
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,960
I'm in survival mode.

562
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:36,400
So this is the only way that I see to keep surviving within this family and when this

563
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,400
dynamic.

564
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:38,400
Yeah.

565
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:39,400
That makes sense.

566
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:40,400
Yeah.

567
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:44,160
You, you're talking about the hero role and I can see so many times when, and you were

568
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:49,000
listening to that other podcast, a different podcast of talking about the drama triangle

569
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,320
and how we all get ourselves trapped into it.

570
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:58,320
And we start to go into that space of I'm experiencing fear, uncertainty, insecurity.

571
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,760
It's triggering something that's a very primal feeling and I'm lost.

572
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,440
And so then I start to create stories.

573
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:08,920
And when I create a story, I'll always go from like the victim to the villain to the

574
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,400
hero because the victim is like, poor me.

575
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,520
This always happens to me.

576
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,960
And then all of a sudden the hero comes online, I'll fix it.

577
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:20,640
I'll just do more and I'll just cover it up and, you know, I'll mask all my feelings.

578
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,440
I'll abandon myself to make sure that this gets handled.

579
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:24,480
And then there's the villain.

580
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:28,880
It's because you, it's because you're always doing this and why can't you stop?

581
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:29,880
Right.

582
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,120
And so we just trap ourselves in this triangle of constantly seeing every situation and it's

583
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:35,760
like, oh my gosh, it's okay.

584
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:40,640
So what story, and this is really when I listen to co-dependency, when I listen to the work

585
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:46,720
that we do, I'm like, it's just rooted in having these survival mechanisms on and not

586
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:51,760
knowing how to see the discern from a real threat and a perceived threat, right?

587
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:57,080
Because most of when we go into that fear space, that's all of us having perceived threats.

588
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:01,240
Like you having a perceived threat of like, what did you think was like the worst thing

589
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:05,440
that was going to happen when you talk to your roommate about a dog?

590
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,240
Like what was going through your head when you're like, how come I can't have this conversation?

591
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:13,600
Oh, I didn't want her to say no.

592
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:14,600
Okay.

593
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:15,600
You know.

594
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:23,600
I was at so like threatening because it really goes into like the dog stuff.

595
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,000
And what was the dog to you?

596
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:33,600
He was a, he was a, he was a, yeah.

597
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,680
It's so much, right?

598
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:42,600
So he was something I thought I needed to fill a void with my father who like abandoned

599
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,600
me.

600
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,400
It was a really tough month.

601
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:52,080
And then I had another relationship kind of, I was trying to like see where that was going

602
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,080
to go.

603
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,560
And then it was not going where I wanted it to go.

604
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,760
So it was like, I got hit.

605
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,320
I got hit twice.

606
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:01,600
To rejection point.

607
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:02,600
Rejection.

608
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:03,600
That's right.

609
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:04,600
Rejection.

610
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:05,600
And so then I'm like, I need to fill this.

611
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,600
And I thought a dog could help me.

612
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:12,600
And you know, that was not the, that was not the solution for anybody.

613
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:18,960
And that's what we all do that we all turn to like, okay, I need to fill this void.

614
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:23,600
I'm going to get a dog to boost my dopamine and serotonin and take my mind off reality.

615
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:24,600
I'm going to drink.

616
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:25,600
I'm going to do drugs.

617
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,600
I'm going to do something social media, do some school for hours.

618
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,600
I'm going to get lost in a world.

619
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,600
So I don't have to feel this pain.

620
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:34,600
And that's what we all do as humans.

621
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:38,600
Like that's literally the human journey is to face it.

622
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:46,600
But when you're in that survival mindset, the problem becomes so big and you don't even know where to start, but you did the most beautiful thing.

623
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:53,600
You started just doing 10 exploding, 15, exploding rocks that I, and that catapulted you into wheat.

624
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:54,600
I can actually do this.

625
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,600
It's not as big as I've made it out to be, right?

626
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,600
Yeah, I love that.

627
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,600
So now we're going to add some reconnects.

628
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:02,600
Right.

629
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,600
Should we do one together?

630
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:05,600
Of course.

631
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:11,600
I think we could do one because I think that would be so fun and Lindsay can kind of maybe share how you're feeling about it.

632
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,600
Like, okay, a reconnect.

633
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:17,600
What does I love myself sound like a good one?

634
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:24,600
Actually, in a space that you're like, okay, I think that I think it's fitting.

635
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:28,600
So it actually does make sense to start with this one.

636
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,600
Yeah, I think so too.

637
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,600
And then we can do like I accept myself too, because that's another big one.

638
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:34,600
Did you put that on the list?

639
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:38,600
No, I have so many, but I have, how about I am safe?

640
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,600
I think there's a big component of safety for you two, no?

641
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:44,600
For all of us.

642
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:45,600
That's a big one.

643
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,600
Yes, I am safe.

644
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,600
I think that one would be my number one.

645
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:51,600
You want that one to be first?

646
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:52,600
Yeah.

647
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:53,600
Being safe.

648
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:57,600
Once you feel safe, then you actually can be like, okay, actually do you want to start loving myself now?

649
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,600
Yeah, and I do want to look into all these things.

650
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:01,600
Exactly.

651
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:10,600
And then the feeling of safety, like being able to even say or think that you feel safe is coming because you did the brain work, right?

652
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,600
Because your brain is at a space where it doesn't feel like it's in constant attack all the time.

653
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:17,600
That's how you were feeling before, right?

654
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:21,600
Everything, the conversation with your roommate, whatever, you know, things was going on with your mom.

655
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:26,600
It always felt like it was like somebody was going to attack you and it was actually life and death.

656
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:35,600
And now you're like, oh yeah, I could say that I am safe because we've done this so many times and a lot of people get to that point where they're like, oh, they, sorry, they start at that point where they're like, I'm safe.

657
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:36,600
I can't do that.

658
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:37,600
Absolutely not.

659
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,600
Or they're starting laughing hysterically.

660
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,600
Like, there's no way, right?

661
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:42,600
Or I love myself.

662
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:43,600
Yeah, right.

663
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:51,600
And so that's where this reaction that you just had tells me a lot about where your brain is because we've seen the other side of it so many times.

664
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:52,600
I'm glad you just said that.

665
00:34:52,600 --> 00:35:00,600
So anyone who's listening right now, just say out loud, I am safe and not in the safe of like the physical sense we're talking about in the emotional sense.

666
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:06,600
And just see what your body's responses you can just feel your body's reaction like Paloma said some people laugh.

667
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:07,600
What was yours?

668
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,600
How did you, where did you feel that when you say I am safe?

669
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:11,600
I haven't had it yet.

670
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:12,600
Okay, say it.

671
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,600
Oh, there you go.

672
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:19,600
There's a whole sign right there.

673
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:20,600
So I just say it out loud.

674
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:21,600
Yeah.

675
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,600
I am safe.

676
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,600
I.

677
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,600
Does it feel like it's believable?

678
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:28,600
Yeah.

679
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:29,600
Oh, you feel like you.

680
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:30,600
Okay.

681
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:38,600
This is why we love muscle checking because then we can bring in like what is your subconscious really feeling right now and muscle checking is such a really cool, cool tool.

682
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,600
Do you feel good with muscle checking?

683
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:41,600
Yeah.

684
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:45,600
Do you want to try it out and see if you can muscle check yourself for I am safe?

685
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,600
Do you like to do it standing or do you like to do it with just your that technique?

686
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:49,600
I think I'll stand.

687
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:50,600
Okay.

688
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:51,600
She's going to stand.

689
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:52,600
That's a better one.

690
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:53,600
Let's all do it together.

691
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:54,600
Yeah.

692
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:55,600
And so we're standing up right now.

693
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:56,600
I'll be the narrator here.

694
00:35:56,600 --> 00:36:02,600
So we're standing up and we put our hands on our belly button and we take in a deep breath and make sure we're hydrated.

695
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:09,600
And you're just going to first get a baseline reading on showing asking your body to show you what a yes response looks like.

696
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:15,600
And this is just such a subconscious way of tapping into what your body naturally is programmed to do.

697
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:16,600
So ask it out loud.

698
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:17,600
Show me a yes.

699
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,600
Show me a yes.

700
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:20,600
Good.

701
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,600
And Lindsay's body went forward.

702
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,600
Good.

703
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,600
And now say show me a no.

704
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,600
Show me a no.

705
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,600
And her body just went backwards.

706
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:31,600
Your nose very strong.

707
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:32,600
That's great.

708
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:33,600
You felt that.

709
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,600
Her nose stronger than her yes.

710
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:36,600
Okay.

711
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,600
Now you're going to ask I am safe.

712
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:42,600
That says a lot about the brain too that the nose stronger than the yes by the way.

713
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:43,600
Yeah.

714
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:44,600
Okay.

715
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:45,600
It's the wire.

716
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:46,600
Yeah.

717
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:47,600
Okay.

718
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:49,600
I am safe.

719
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:50,600
Okay.

720
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:51,600
She's getting a yes.

721
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:52,600
Yeah.

722
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:53,600
Good.

723
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,600
I was thinking because you've been doing all the moro's like it's feeling more real to you.

724
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,600
Like you are saying if you're afraid to understand that.

725
00:36:58,600 --> 00:36:59,600
Yeah.

726
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:00,600
Your brain's safe there.

727
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:01,600
Okay.

728
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,600
Now do I love myself just to see what your subconscious says.

729
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,600
And you can already see her body.

730
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,600
She's like fidgeting a lot and she's smiling.

731
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:10,600
She's right in a laugh.

732
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:12,600
It's like that feeling of like.

733
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:13,600
Love myself.

734
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,600
So let's see what your body says.

735
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,600
When they say I love myself.

736
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,600
I love myself.

737
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,600
And that's a no.

738
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:25,600
And that is like, but you already had all the physiological responses.

739
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:26,600
Like you could feel.

740
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,600
Where'd you feel it when you said I love myself.

741
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:30,600
Right.

742
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:31,600
Where I felt it.

743
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:32,600
Did you feel it anywhere?

744
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:33,600
No.

745
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:34,600
Okay.

746
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:35,600
But you started laughing.

747
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:36,600
Yeah.

748
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,600
Cause you're like, no, that's not true.

749
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:43,600
So what we're going to recommend is when he's going to take a post-it note and she's going to write down on the post-it note.

750
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,600
I love myself.

751
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,600
And the process here requires water.

752
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:48,600
This is a reconnect.

753
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,600
We bring this into our program.

754
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,600
It's level two of our main program.

755
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,600
Our parenting program is going to have it woven throughout.

756
00:37:54,600 --> 00:38:01,600
And it's an amazing way to create a new neural connection in her brain that operates from a space of I love myself.

757
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:06,600
And so I'm going to do more loving things for myself to live and have the story that I really want.

758
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:07,600
That's authentically me.

759
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,600
So she took a sip of water, but we're going to do it again.

760
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,600
And you're going to take a deep breath in.

761
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,600
As you're thinking, I love myself in your mind.

762
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:27,600
You're taking in a sip of water.

763
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:28,600
Good.

764
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,600
And we hold the water in our mouth.

765
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:31,600
We take in the inhale.

766
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:32,600
We let the inhale out.

767
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,600
So that's an exhale.

768
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,600
And then we saw a lot.

769
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,600
We're doing some deep work over here.

770
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:43,600
And then we moved to our next pattern or next movement.

771
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,600
It's called brain buttons.

772
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:49,600
So you put one hand on the belly button and then the other hand finds your brain buttons.

773
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,600
These are these two indents that are right below your clavicle bone.

774
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:58,600
And if you just put your hand so your finger and your thumb are kind of rubbing to these two spots.

775
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,600
And most people feel really sore and tender.

776
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,600
Does it feel sore and tender for you?

777
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:04,600
No.

778
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:05,600
No.

779
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:06,600
Okay.

780
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:07,600
Great.

781
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,600
And then we move to the rule.

782
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:15,600
And you're thinking here as you're rubbing these two top points, the hand on the belly button stinks.

783
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:23,600
Still, you're just thinking to yourself, I love myself and envision yourself right now with your eyes closed, doing things that are loving for yourself, doing this work.

784
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:28,600
That's love for yourself because now you get to be authentic and who you were meant to always be.

785
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:36,600
Other things that are loving yourself or drinking water or going for walks, whatever, whatever fuels your soul into like love and bringing more of that to you.

786
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,600
Because you can't really love anybody else.

787
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,600
You love yourself.

788
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,600
So taking another deep breath here.

789
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,600
I love myself.

790
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,600
Letting it out.

791
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:49,600
Good.

792
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,600
And then we're going to switch sides.

793
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:55,600
So the hand that was on the brain buttons moves down to the belly button and then the hand from the belly button comes up to the brain buttons.

794
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:58,600
And again, you're just rubbing and I like to take my whole hand.

795
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,600
So I have all four fingers rubbing one spot.

796
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:05,600
My thumb is rubbing on the other side and I'm breathing through my belly doing deep belly breath.

797
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,600
I love myself.

798
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:14,600
Do about three deep breaths here.

799
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:18,600
And if you ever want to see what this movement looks like in a video, you can always go check out our Instagram channel.

800
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,600
We'll link that here in the show notes of doing what's called pace.

801
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,600
This is a brain gym movement.

802
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:33,600
It is an amazing way to just connect left and right sides of your brain and your body and also the top of your body from the bottom of your body and the back and the front.

803
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:40,600
It's a really amazing way to put yourself into the super learning state, which drops you into a theta state, which brings in these reconnects.

804
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:41,600
So they go into your subconscious.

805
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:43,600
There's so much science behind it.

806
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,600
And that's a quick nutshell version.

807
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:49,600
Paloma has already moved on to the cross cross and I just bring your opposite elbow to your opposite knee.

808
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:51,600
You can do the sitting, you can do the standing.

809
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,600
You can do this.

810
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,600
I'm drawing lazy eights.

811
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,600
Anything that is crossing your midline here.

812
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,600
I like to jump on trampolines.

813
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:11,600
But when I'm loving myself, I tend to pick like more loving movements, which would be like drawing lazy eights or squeezing the opposite shoulder and dragging it across my chest.

814
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,600
That always feels really good.

815
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,600
And I'm thinking in my mind, I love myself.

816
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,600
It's almost like we're giving ourselves a hug to you.

817
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:22,600
There you go and do whatever feels natural as long as you're crossing your midline.

818
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,600
And you're bringing in left and right sides of the brain.

819
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,600
And then the last step, you're going to cross your ankles.

820
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:30,600
Hands are on front of you.

821
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,600
Your palms are facing each other.

822
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:37,600
Now drop your thumbs down to the ground, cross one hand over the other, interlace your fingers and pull it in.

823
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:41,600
If you were a visual learner, that was probably really hard to understand.

824
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:42,600
So check out the video.

825
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,600
We'll link it below.

826
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,600
Bring the thing to the roof of your mouth.

827
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,600
And you're just thinking, I love myself.

828
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,600
I do take in a deep belly breath here.

829
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:54,600
And letting it out.

830
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,600
I love myself.

831
00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,600
Taking in another deep breath.

832
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,600
I love myself.

833
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:09,600
This pose is so amazing for calming the heart energy and just bringing it all connected.

834
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:13,600
It's the best one to do whatever you need to calm your energy quickly.

835
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,600
And you're going to switch to the other side is on top.

836
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:17,600
Pulling it in.

837
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:18,600
Good.

838
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:24,600
Don't forget to switch your ankles, tongue to the roof of your mouth, bringing in breathing in all that loving energy.

839
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,600
To your body.

840
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,600
And letting it out.

841
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:34,600
I love myself.

842
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:38,600
I love myself breathing in.

843
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,600
And letting it out.

844
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,600
Taking one more deep breath.

845
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:47,600
Really picturing all that love coming to you.

846
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:55,600
From you.

847
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,600
And just knowing it's your time to start loving yourself.

848
00:42:58,600 --> 00:42:59,600
Letting that breath out.

849
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,600
And then we bring our fingertips together.

850
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,600
And we like to add a little tap to each finger.

851
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:08,600
So we just say, I love myself while we tap our fingertips.

852
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,600
I love myself.

853
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,600
I love myself.

854
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,600
I love myself.

855
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,600
I love myself.

856
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,600
I love myself.

857
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:23,600
And we bring all that lovely energy to our heart and send it out into the world.

858
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:26,600
More people can love themselves and bring it back to ourselves.

859
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:27,600
And now we check.

860
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,600
So go and stand back up again, Linz.

861
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:40,600
Put your hands on your belly button, take in a deep breath and say out loud, I love myself and see what your body wants to do.

862
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,600
I love myself.

863
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,600
I love myself.

864
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:47,600
Awesome.

865
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,600
And your energy feels so different.

866
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:50,600
Do you feel it?

867
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:51,600
Yeah.

868
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:52,600
Yeah.

869
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:53,600
What do you feel?

870
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:54,600
Lighter.

871
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:55,600
Lighter.

872
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:59,600
Whatever.

873
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,600
I just, I'd have to say, just I feel lighter.

874
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:02,600
Lighter.

875
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:03,600
Yeah.

876
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:04,600
You feel really calm to me.

877
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:05,600
Yeah.

878
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,600
So that was a reconnect.

879
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:12,600
And now Lindsay gets to take this post-it note of loving yourself, put it up on your car dashboard.

880
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:18,600
And then more, this goes into the subconscious and now Lindsay is going to start operating from a space of loving yourself.

881
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:24,600
And so she's going to have the awareness now when it comes to the codependence of, wait, I love myself so much.

882
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:28,600
I'm going to set a boundary because the boundaries healthy for me.

883
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:33,600
And it tells me where my body ends and that other person begins and what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours.

884
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:35,600
And I don't want all your stuff.

885
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,600
And I'm working on my stuff.

886
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:43,600
So this is just going to be the beginning and Paloma is going to send you a list.

887
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,600
She didn't know I have the list.

888
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,600
I can read it out for anybody listening is curious.

889
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:50,600
As we were talking, I was typing these out.

890
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:52,600
So I am seen.

891
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:53,600
I am heard.

892
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,600
I am respected.

893
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:56,600
I am authentic.

894
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:58,600
I embrace my authenticity.

895
00:44:58,600 --> 00:44:59,600
I love myself.

896
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:00,600
I am safe.

897
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,600
I am loved.

898
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,600
I'm appreciated.

899
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,600
I have a space in the world.

900
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,600
I have a space in my family.

901
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,600
I accept myself.

902
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,600
And you can make those your own, right?

903
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:18,600
So if you feel like this is going a little deeper, you're like, oh, I want to make sure that it says I am respected as a brain coach.

904
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,600
For example, I would do that one right if I were like stroke.

905
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:26,600
You and I have done that before actually, because when we were like dealing with imposter syndrome and that kind of stuff.

906
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,600
But yeah, I'll copy paste these into the chat.

907
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:33,600
And I just want to say it's it's so easy to say I'm going to work on myself.

908
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:38,600
I'm going to do all the good habit, all the things that you pictured yourself doing when you were doing the reconnect.

909
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,600
It's so easy to say, okay, I'm going to start drinking water.

910
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,600
I'm going to start setting boundaries.

911
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:43,600
I'm going to eat healthy.

912
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,600
I'm going to move every day.

913
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:54,600
And then when your brain, when your subconscious doesn't align with somebody who deserves that, that's when you start to see the self sabotage come in.

914
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:55,600
Right.

915
00:45:55,600 --> 00:46:02,600
So that's why this is such an important piece of just becoming, you know, the person that you want to be and truly being yourself is that.

916
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:06,600
If not, you're just always going to be fighting and fighting and fighting against your subconscious.

917
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:17,600
And that's where those changes in those lifestyle, you know, kind of things that you do become so much harder to do because you're it's it's a culture shock in your brain, not culture shock.

918
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:18,600
You know what I'm trying to say.

919
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:22,600
It's just like it doesn't work in your brain because your brain is like, you know, you don't.

920
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,600
Why would you do things that are good for you if you hate yourself, right?

921
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:27,600
If you don't love yourself, but you don't respect yourself, right?

922
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:37,600
So that's where it sounds so silly to say it that way, and I know we always talk about this, but that truly is the way that your brain is perceiving it because your brain has the opposite belief.

923
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:38,600
Right.

924
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:40,600
I am a terrible brain coach.

925
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,600
I'm not worthy of respect.

926
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:43,600
Right.

927
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:48,600
And so that's where when you try to act as though you do have those beliefs and you say, yeah, I'm going to do this and do that.

928
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:53,600
You keep self sabotaging because your brain is like, absolutely not.

929
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:54,600
You can't do this, bro.

930
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,600
That is opposite to what I believe.

931
00:46:56,600 --> 00:47:00,600
And the brain always wants to confirm what it quote unquote believes to be true.

932
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:01,600
Right.

933
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:06,600
So this is why that's like such an important step for this, for these, for these big lifestyle changes like you're going through.

934
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:07,600
100%.

935
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:08,600
Wow.

936
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:15,600
And accepting the human in you because you're going to have moments and you've seen me, you see me, I fall apart.

937
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:25,600
Lindsay was with me like a couple of weeks ago as having a men TV and apart because I'm a human and embracing that is just like, there's no such thing as a perfect human and Greer said it today that like,

938
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,600
you know, she said parenting is messy.

939
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:29,600
Being a human is messy.

940
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:36,600
Like us humans have emotions and sometimes we're crying and sometimes we're making a choice that didn't serve us.

941
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,600
But then it's like, what's the repair?

942
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,600
And so that's why reconnects can come in and be like, I can repair all this.

943
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:46,600
I can, I can rewrite my story and my story is never ending and I'm never done.

944
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,600
And I'm going to learn more and more about myself.

945
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,600
And so I know that feels daunting.

946
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,600
Sometimes you're like, oh my gosh, that's a lot of work.

947
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:55,600
But guess what?

948
00:47:55,600 --> 00:48:04,600
It's going to get better every day and look at in just the past month, Lindsay, like how much you've already accomplished is amazing in comparison to 39 years, right?

949
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:07,600
And so you're like, okay, in a month I can do this.

950
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:10,600
What's next month going to be and who knows and I'm unattached.

951
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:11,600
Yeah.

952
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:22,600
So we'll come up with more reconnects as we dive into this more and and just trust that you're on this amazing journey and we're so happy you're here and you're doing.

953
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:25,600
I'm happy I'm here too.

954
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,600
You always say I'm happy to be here.

955
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:28,600
I'm happy to be here.

956
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:29,600
Happy to be here.

957
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,600
Happy to be here.

958
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:34,600
You all come back now.

959
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:45,600
Subscribe to the podcast, like the podcast, rate it on the app so more people can listen to it. So it gets, you know, pushed out the algorithm starts working for us.

960
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:54,600
Share this episode with somebody you think could benefit from it. We all know somebody who's going to spend it. Am I right or am I right? If it's not yourself, it's somebody you know.

961
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:56,600
So send it to them.

962
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:57,600
Right.

963
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:01,600
It's nobody around you that it's probably you.

964
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:18,600
And yeah, send us some, you know, feedback we always love to hear from our listeners and follow us on Instagram. It is in the cortex underscore us or in the cortex underscore ESP. If you are a Spanish speaker, like yo, and you

965
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:34,600
can get this on Facebook at in the cortex us and ticked out it in underscore the underscore cortex or website is in the cortex dot com. Send us any emails with any questions comments whatever you want at hello it in the cortex dot com and make sure to use promo code

966
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:43,600
Brainiac when you sign up because you can get 10 bucks off your first payment and who doesn't like a good dealie McDieler send am I right.

967
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:48,600
This is too late the day for us to do a podcast.

968
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:49,600
You know, love my jokes.

969
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:56,600
But you know, we do believe here at ITC. If you're just listening to us for the first time we want to have fun because life should be fun.

970
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:03,600
More fun. So we are silly goose is but we also take yours. Your stuff serious too. So we know about everybody.

971
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:18,600
Exactly. It's all about the balance. Good boy. What does good boy say it's a lot of he says something about how you want a lot of things. Good boy. Monte said something about how it's that's a whole point of going through this like self growth thing it's about playing with

972
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:22,600
it and looking at the light side because if not it all gets way too dark.

973
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:25,600
And that's what we do here and in the cortex so thank you.

974
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:26,600
Thank you.

975
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:27,600
Thank you.

976
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:34,600
Thank you.