1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,300 Hi, and welcome to the In the Cortex podcast. 2 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:10,300 We are your hosts. 3 00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:11,640 I'm Paloma Garcia. 4 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,680 And I am Dani Perrecone. 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,600 And we're the founders of In the Cortex, an online community with programs that show people 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,520 the tools that they need to change their lives through brain reorganization. 7 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,920 No medication, just movement. 8 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:28,120 When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start 9 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:32,160 to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex. 10 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:36,520 Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life. 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,320 And now on to today's episode. 12 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:46,560 Hello and welcome to our second season, third episode of our podcast. 13 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:52,000 We're super excited because we have a really fun breakdown of helping you understand more 14 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,480 about the brain, the behaviors, and connecting all those dots. 15 00:00:55,480 --> 00:01:00,740 So today we're talking about breaking down of brain related behaviors versus learned 16 00:01:00,740 --> 00:01:01,740 behaviors. 17 00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:04,240 So it's going to be a fun episode. 18 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,800 Yeah, it's a good one. 19 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:10,500 I feel like a lot of us think that our behaviors are, I mean, we've said this before, but our 20 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:15,360 behaviors are who we are and the things we do define us as people. 21 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:20,320 And this is kind of to shed light on the things that maybe are something that you learned 22 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:26,240 and you picked up from parents or from whatever, and also looking at what behaviors are coming 23 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:31,640 from your disorganized brain, from retained primitive reflexes, from other stuff that's 24 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:32,640 just kind of holding you back. 25 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,960 And it doesn't mean that that's who you are. 26 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,160 So that's kind of why we wanted to do this episode. 27 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,880 I love talking about this. 28 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:39,880 Obviously we do. 29 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,320 That's why we have a podcast. 30 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:43,720 But I love to share this even more. 31 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,560 And I oftentimes will bite my tongue, hold my tongue. 32 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,000 I don't know what you say, the expression correctly. 33 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:56,280 I will hold my tongue when I hear people say, oh, I just have this going on with me. 34 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:59,200 And I was like, but did you know that's a reflex? 35 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,460 It's a primitive reflex. 36 00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:02,960 And that just means it's on right now. 37 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,840 And you have within you the tools to integrate it. 38 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,560 So you do not have this. 39 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,960 And I was just talking to someone and they're like, oh, my posture. 40 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,920 I just want to sit like this all the time. 41 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:15,520 And I'm like, oh, your posture, that's a reflex. 42 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:21,000 You should have your reflexes integrated so that way that postural reflex can turn on. 43 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000 Come on. 44 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,400 So we're going to break down for you the primitive reflexes again. 45 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,320 So if you haven't heard it yet, we're going to break them down, make it make even more 46 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:33,360 sense of what behaviors are actually connected to how your brain is wired. 47 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,360 OK, exactly. 48 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:38,200 Remember, primitive reflexes are automatic instinctual movements that are designed to 49 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,540 keep you alive in the first year of life. 50 00:02:40,540 --> 00:02:44,840 Your goal as a teeny tiny baby, even starting a neutero, you're supposed to be moving in 51 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:49,440 specific patterns and specific ways that you have innately wired into you. 52 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,440 You do it enough and your brain is like, all right, cool. 53 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:53,480 I'm ready to move on to the next one. 54 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:58,520 And then once you've done all the movements and they've all become integrated, then they 55 00:02:58,520 --> 00:02:59,660 lie dormant. 56 00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:03,040 They lie dormant for when true survival comes at you. 57 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,680 Now, in today's world, we're not living in true survival. 58 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:07,680 Most of us. 59 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:12,280 This is a generalization, obviously, but we are interpreting it as survival. 60 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,660 And we say this over and over. 61 00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:20,240 People think that traffic, not finding a parking spot, being late or whatever it is, turns 62 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,040 the brain into that survival mode. 63 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,680 So we're here to share with you. 64 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,160 You can get out of that mode. 65 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,880 And it's so easy to do 20 minutes a day. 66 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:29,880 I shouldn't say easy. 67 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,040 It's simple. 68 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,040 It's not easy. 69 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,040 It's not easy. 70 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,720 It's hard work, especially in the beginning. 71 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:37,220 It's hard to get used to it, but it's so worth it. 72 00:03:37,220 --> 00:03:41,120 And that's why we share a lot of our members stories and all of our testimonials and stuff 73 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,480 on on social media, because it really does change people's lives. 74 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:48,760 It's changed our lives and it changed everybody who's actually done the program. 75 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,920 We have hundreds of members, thousands of people who have done it before, you know, 76 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,160 before we even started online, whose life it has changed. 77 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:59,840 So we're very confident in saying if you do it might not be easy, but it will change your 78 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:00,840 life. 79 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:05,600 And I think one thing that I wanted to also say is you're going to hear these behaviors 80 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,320 and you're going to say, well, a lot of the time you're going to say, well, what's the 81 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,320 big deal? 82 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,800 Why is that a problem that I do that? 83 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:15,520 Well, it's not a problem inherently, but it does mean that your brain is working a lot 84 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,600 harder than it needs to. 85 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,240 So while the behavior itself might be like, it doesn't matter. 86 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,240 It doesn't bother me. 87 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:22,240 Doesn't bother anybody else. 88 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:27,840 It might still mean that your brain just doesn't have the bandwidth that you would that you 89 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:31,600 could have right to really be yourself and to live your life in the cortex. 90 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:32,600 And I hope that makes sense. 91 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,040 We'll get into it as we have examples. 92 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:39,160 I love that you just said that, because so many people, when we say change, they're like, 93 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,440 oh, what does that mean? 94 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:41,440 It's scary. 95 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,440 Right. 96 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:46,960 And so when we say change, we don't mean you change who you are. 97 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:52,180 You change your response to your environment and it becomes automatic. 98 00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:58,520 So if you are wired to be a fight person, that goes away and you become a calmer, more 99 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,480 neutral level headed person who can see both sides. 100 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:02,480 Right. 101 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:03,480 Both of us. 102 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,480 Yeah. 103 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:08,120 Like, and honestly, and it's the simplest thing. 104 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:12,240 So you know, when babies are little and a loud noise happens, they're like sleeping 105 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,240 cozy comfy. 106 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,240 And then all of a sudden they hear a noise like and they fling their arms out. 107 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,800 They open their hands. 108 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,920 They take a deep inhale. 109 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,760 And then they start to turn red. 110 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,140 They usually start to cry. 111 00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:27,840 And then they will come back into this position of kind of curled back up. 112 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:29,080 That is a reflex. 113 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:33,400 If you hear a loud noise, if you're so babies can't walk, they can't talk, they can't do 114 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,400 a whole lot. 115 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,400 They can just cry. 116 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,400 Right. 117 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,340 And they can move in specific patterns to save themselves. 118 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:42,080 So that movement alerts the system to wake up. 119 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,840 It's time to go into survival mode. 120 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,720 Something might be coming at you. 121 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,720 Right. 122 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,920 And the thing is, is there's a time and place for a baby to do this. 123 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,300 We want babies to be doing this between two to four months of life actively. 124 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,840 They do that startle reflex. 125 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:55,840 It's what it looks like. 126 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:56,840 It's a big startle. 127 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,320 And then they calm back down. 128 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,300 It needs to do it enough times until the brain's like, OK, I got that pattern. 129 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:02,560 I know what it is. 130 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,540 Now I can let that lie dormant. 131 00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:09,400 So if we're swaddling babies, they're not getting that flinging of the arms out. 132 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,400 Right. 133 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,480 And so then their brain didn't have a chance to go through it. 134 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,640 So then that reflex remains on. 135 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,760 It didn't go through its full pattern. 136 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:18,760 Exactly. 137 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:23,520 And it also has to do not just swaddling, but also when we're kind of overprotecting 138 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:24,520 them, so to speak. 139 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:25,520 Right. 140 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:29,000 When some babies that just really don't get that movement or that aren't really exposed 141 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,920 to different things, kids that are maybe left on their back all day. 142 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:32,920 Right. 143 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:33,920 They're sitting in a chair all day. 144 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,040 They're not getting the exposure of I'm going to hear that sound. 145 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,520 Sometimes it also has to do when you're when the head changes position. 146 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:44,520 So if a baby is like moving around, crawling around and the head changes position in a 147 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,160 weird way, that which is what usually happens when they're sleeping. 148 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,160 Right. 149 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,800 When they're dreaming about something and they kind of get thrown off, it's happened 150 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:54,640 to all of us when you're, you know, when you kind of wake up like that in the startle, 151 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,520 they're not getting the opportunity to startle. 152 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,360 And so what happens is that they're stuck with the infant startle reflex instead of 153 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:04,120 it developing into the adult startle reflex, because adults do have a startle reflex as 154 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,120 well. 155 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,120 We all have it. 156 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,120 Everybody. 157 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,120 We've all been there, right? 158 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,320 When you're like, whoa, that was really loud or somebody came out of nowhere, came out 159 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,320 of nowhere. 160 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:12,320 Right. 161 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:17,880 And you if you have an adult startle reflex, you have the ability to startle, look at what's 162 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:23,280 going on, decide whether it's a threat or not, and then go on with your life or go into 163 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:24,280 survival mode. 164 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,280 Right. 165 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,320 If it is something dangerous, then you got to get into that fight or flight. 166 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,480 But if it's not, then you're like, okay, take a deep breath. 167 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,200 Within a minute, you're back to your baseline. 168 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,200 You're fine. 169 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,200 Right. 170 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,200 If you don't, then that's where and this is where a lot of people I talk about this with 171 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,080 people that I talk about this stuff with, like my friends and stuff. 172 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:46,680 If you are somebody who gets startled one very easily, even if you know, like even if 173 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:50,360 you know who's in the house, they're over there, blah, blah, and you walk into them 174 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:54,680 in the in the hallway, and they throws you into that startle. 175 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,160 And you're like, why did I get so sort of I knew you were there. 176 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,160 Right. 177 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:05,040 And that response lasts five, 10, sometimes like half an hour or an hour for some people 178 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,920 where you're still like, I can't calm down. 179 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:12,360 That's how you know also that it's the infant startle reflex, the morrow is still active 180 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,280 and that you need to integrate it. 181 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,280 Yeah. 182 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,360 So some sign. 183 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:20,960 So you can trigger the moral reflex with sudden unexpected occurrence of any kind. 184 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:25,880 And this is through, like Paloma said, a head movement noise, like I mentioned, anything 185 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:31,520 in the visual realm or anything tactile pain or anything that's temperature change or being 186 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,400 handled too roughly that will turn that reflex on. 187 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,400 OK. 188 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:41,960 Now, what happens is the physical response to it is oftentimes looked at as the difficult 189 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,680 child or difficult person. 190 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:48,760 So this is the key part here is that as a baby, we don't really make too much. 191 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:49,760 Oh, they cried. 192 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:50,920 OK, that makes sense. 193 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:57,280 But as adults or as even older children in kindergarten and up, if they're having these 194 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:02,400 responses to that reflex being activated, then we perceive them as, oh, they're so difficult 195 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,400 and they're so challenging. 196 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:07,600 So that's what we're here to dispel is that it's not that they're trying to be. 197 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:13,200 It's an automatic reaction that's coming over their system thinking they need to survive. 198 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,680 OK, so that looks like instantaneous arousal. 199 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:21,800 It looks like rapid inhalation, momentary freeze or startle followed by expiration, 200 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:25,960 often accompanied by a cry, activation of the fight or flight response, which is the 201 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,720 main one that we see. 202 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:32,240 And that is when it's telling the sympathetic nervous system, it's time to go, which is 203 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,880 releasing the adrenaline, the cortisol into the system. 204 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:35,880 That's what Paloma just said. 205 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,000 It takes a long time to calm down. 206 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,920 And that in and of itself, like some people are like, well, I'm just easily started. 207 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,360 Like it's not that big of a deal. 208 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,320 You might think that's one of those behaviors, right? 209 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,320 You're like, well, whatever. 210 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:46,960 I just get started, it's no big deal. 211 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,720 But it is a big deal because your body is being flooded with chemical that it doesn't 212 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,680 know how to release and it doesn't need to release right now. 213 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:54,680 Right. 214 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:57,620 So if your body's flooded with cortisol five times a day because you get startled five 215 00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:01,360 times a day on the on average, that's that's cortisol. 216 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:05,000 It's like going through your veins, through your body, setting up your body for fight 217 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,000 or flight. 218 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,560 But you're not going into that fight or flight. 219 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:10,920 So that those chemicals get stuck, get trapped in the body. 220 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:16,000 And that's where we have a lot of inflammation, a lot of long term challenges that come with 221 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,960 it can cause anxiety and cause so many different things. 222 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:23,640 I mean, we can do a whole episode on the effects of high cortisol in the body. 223 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:24,640 Right. 224 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,240 I mean, this is something that's been studied over the years. 225 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,240 Right. 226 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,600 So it might not seem like it's a big deal to just get startled, but actually your body, 227 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,080 it is a big deal for your body. 228 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,080 A hundred percent. 229 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:40,880 So when I and this is when I was living in Ecuador, I did not have developed and integrated 230 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,320 a neural reflex. 231 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:47,280 So I felt like and I mean, when I was in Quito, it was definitely survival. 232 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:51,000 But my brain took it to the next level because I did go through some encounters like being 233 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,400 robbed at gunpoint and stuff like that, where it definitely was true survival. 234 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,400 Right. 235 00:10:55,400 --> 00:11:00,600 But then every occurrence of leaving the house, my system would go into sympathetic state 236 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,520 of like, I have to survive. 237 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:06,360 And that's neuroplasticity working because neuroplasticity, your brain's like, OK, last 238 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,640 time they went out, something very scary happened. 239 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:15,000 So now every time I go out and that's trauma that's getting stored in your system, in your 240 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,480 brain and in your literal body. 241 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:18,480 I mean, it's there. 242 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,480 Right. 243 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,600 I logical response. 244 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,960 I aged like 10 years living there for two. 245 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,440 So we could go through every single reflex and help you make sense of it, but that would 246 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,720 make this episode three hours long. 247 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:36,840 So here's we want to give like a minor thing like let's just take communication, for example. 248 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:41,960 Say you're talking to whether it be your friend, your spouse, your neighbor, whoever it is, 249 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:48,440 if there is a trigger to their system while you're in the middle of a conversation, then 250 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:54,720 it could have them react in a very aggressive way and it will show up as a fight or flight 251 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:55,720 symptom. 252 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,880 And so that is a brain related behavior. 253 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:04,400 And what we love about our program is that in 20 minutes and less than 20 minutes, because 254 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:09,960 the whole thing is 20 minutes, but like just integrating your moral reflex takes you less 255 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,200 than 30 seconds a day. 256 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,240 And it's instant. 257 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:16,680 Like I was actually just in here with my mom and she knows that I talk about her in the 258 00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:17,680 podcast a lot. 259 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:18,680 We love her. 260 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:19,680 She's amazing. 261 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:23,200 And she was just doing her mirrors and she was falling backwards when she was doing it. 262 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,200 And she's like, is that bad? 263 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,200 And I was like, it's not bad. 264 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:30,400 It just means that that moral turned back on and our reflexes can turn back on quite 265 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,400 quickly. 266 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:35,200 And so when our system is hit with enough stressors, it goes up, it's time to survive 267 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,200 again. 268 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,200 And that's what we're talking about. 269 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:41,280 What we've been talking about on the podcast is that nowadays we get stressors all over 270 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,280 the place. 271 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:46,920 I genuinely think, I mean, listen, I love my TikTok as much as the next gal, am I right? 272 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:50,280 But this is triggering our survival, bro. 273 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,920 Like I don't know all of the science on this. 274 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,400 And I know that there's still so much, so many people that are looking at the actual 275 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,080 effects of having the screens on our faces. 276 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,440 You and I work on a screen, right? 277 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:06,640 Like it's this type of light and the overstimulation, just the amount of information that we have 278 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:11,640 is overstimulating us and putting us back into that fight or flight, which is why once 279 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,240 again, it's a lifestyle, right? 280 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:17,280 Like you have to learn these tools and then apply them literally for the rest of your 281 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,280 life. 282 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,980 And I like that we talked about the moral because I feel like that's the most commonly 283 00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:23,280 retained reflex. 284 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:26,880 But like you're saying, like this is somebody that if you're talking about something, they 285 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,240 get upset about it. 286 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,760 They go into that rage, right? 287 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,480 And we all know somebody like that. 288 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,080 What do people say about them? 289 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,560 Oh, you know, she's really nice. 290 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,800 She just, you know, she has a short fuse. 291 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,060 So just like be careful, right? 292 00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:41,920 How many people I used to be like that, right? 293 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:45,200 I think my friends used to tell their friends like, you know, beware of Paloma is like, 294 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,360 you know, she can get a little intense sometimes. 295 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,880 And I was that person, you know, and I was constantly just like picking and picking and 296 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,800 picking fights with people. 297 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,240 And I was like, it's just my personality, right? 298 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,720 And I was like, whatever, it's fine. 299 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:57,800 It's part of my personality. 300 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:01,600 And not until I did my brain work and then I came back to Mexico City, my friends were 301 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:05,600 like, whoa, you're just like the fun part all the time now. 302 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,600 And I was like, oh, cool. 303 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,600 Obviously not all the time. 304 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:08,600 But you know what I mean? 305 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:12,960 Like you're just like the fun version of yourself now and you're not going into that fight or 306 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:13,960 flight mode. 307 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:18,680 I didn't think it was a problem before, but now I'm maybe not a problem, but it was definitely 308 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:23,200 something that it was nice to get out of that because they didn't realize how much time 309 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,560 I had spent in that like fight or flight response. 310 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,400 And sometimes, you know, you're in that response without even knowing. 311 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,600 Like, for example, when I worked and this is something you and I have talked about, 312 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,120 just going back to the cortisol really quick. 313 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:39,960 I worked in ABA settings with kids with autism for almost, I think, seven years, maybe eight 314 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,880 years. 315 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:46,880 And you are just constantly in fight or flight because you're like hyper aware of everything 316 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,240 that's going on with the kids. 317 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,400 We had to do restraints. 318 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,400 It was horrible. 319 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:55,960 Like some days if the kid was having a hard time, I would be restraining a child literally 320 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,240 all day at work. 321 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,760 And it was just so stressful. 322 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:03,080 And the amount of cortisol you have in your body from that, I genuinely think I'm still 323 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,080 recovering from it. 324 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,840 Like I get a body change, my metabolism change, my skin change. 325 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,360 Everything changed when I started working in those in those settings. 326 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,240 And at the same time, it's the most rewarding thing you can ever do in the world and in 327 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,240 the world. 328 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,280 And I love my students so much and I miss them every single day. 329 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:18,280 Right. 330 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:23,620 But it's like you're in that in that moment and you need to find that way to like release 331 00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:24,620 this stuff. 332 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:27,000 And even though I was doing the brain work, it wasn't enough. 333 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,200 You know, I needed to I wasn't doing it all the time. 334 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,120 I wasn't doing the subconscious work. 335 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,020 Wasn't looking at what the triggers were with that stuff. 336 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:38,080 And so once again, I just thought it was just part of who I was. 337 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:42,120 And I will say, though, I had already done a lot of brain work by then. 338 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,320 So that's also why I think I was good at that stuff because I wasn't getting like, like 339 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,240 some teachers would get totally shocked and I'd be like, that's their morrow. 340 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,240 Right. 341 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,360 Because like, you know, if somebody chucks a phone in your face, like it's shocking 342 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:59,720 and it hashtag hurts a lot, you know, but that's also kind of like being in those situations 343 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,560 that you notice, like who's in that mode and who's not. 344 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,560 Right. 345 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:04,560 And that's exactly it. 346 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,040 So you're in that state, right. 347 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,700 Now your system is predicting it. 348 00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:13,440 So then your system starts to call that in and that mirroring neuron effect is then going 349 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,940 to challenge their system. 350 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,360 And then it just right. 351 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:21,320 And that's what we do is because and that's what I always say, this goes for every relationship. 352 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:25,880 If you're calm, like you all meet those people who are like just so calming, it's because 353 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,000 they have the reflexes integrated, right. 354 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:32,080 At least they have most of them integrated and most of the lower centers of the brain 355 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,600 integrated. 356 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:38,920 And and then but if you're already thinking it's going to happen and you're predicting 357 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,480 it, then it comes through and that happens. 358 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:47,180 And so with my kids, just like what you experienced about calming your system, as soon as I integrated 359 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:52,000 my reflexes and literally my nervous system just chilled out. 360 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,320 Now my kids nervous systems chill out. 361 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,960 So they start to go to meltdown mode. 362 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,680 I'm not mirroring it anymore. 363 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:58,680 I'm in calm zone. 364 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,680 There's the thumbs up. 365 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,400 I go to my calm zone and then they don't escalate. 366 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:09,520 So imagine if you imagine if you were working on your brain and then the child you're working 367 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:13,920 with also start working on their brain, then your systems would start to co-regulate and 368 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:14,920 start exactly together. 369 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:18,200 Well, and that's what happened with the kids that I was working with after school, because 370 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,400 I was going and doing brain work sessions after school. 371 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,920 And those kids, some of them were at the school that I worked where I worked and they were 372 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,960 just like doing so amazingly well because of that. 373 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:27,960 Right. 374 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,360 And because the whole family was participating and you know, it's a whole thing. 375 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:38,840 But it's also like, yeah, looking at that way that you respond, I think is just an enormous 376 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:39,840 thing. 377 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:43,560 And I think also just as we're going to talk about that in a little bit is the conception 378 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,520 that we have and the preconceptions that we have about people. 379 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,480 That was my number one frustration working in schools because I came from working in 380 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,480 business. 381 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,400 Like I had never been in a school before. 382 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:58,600 And the way that some of the teachers would just get there in the morning, good morning 383 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,000 as they're going, oh, I have this kid. 384 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,960 I know he's going to have a rough day because I know mom told me that he ate a lot of sugar 385 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:06,960 last night. 386 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:07,960 He didn't sleep. 387 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:08,960 So it's good. 388 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:09,960 I'm going to have a really rough day. 389 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,800 And I'd be like, you're not saying it right now. 390 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,540 Like let's have a rough day. 391 00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:14,540 Maybe you won't. 392 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:15,540 That's just life. 393 00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:20,160 Let's like, why are you deciding right now that this kid is going to have a meltdown? 394 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,160 You're his teacher. 395 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,480 Of course he's going to have a meltdown if you just decided it from the side. 396 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,480 He hasn't even here yet. 397 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,480 He's having his bread and butter. 398 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:29,280 You know, they feel it and they feel it so much. 399 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:33,720 And I remember like there was just some kids that were really tough and their teachers 400 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,440 would like that their case managers would be like, yeah, that kid, you know, there's 401 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:37,880 no, there's no hope for that kid. 402 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,960 You know, I remember one specifically and that's, you know, they pick up on that. 403 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:42,960 Oh my gosh. 404 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,360 And that is literally it. 405 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,520 Words and energy have so much power. 406 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,880 So if you walk in and this is where Paloma and I, we will toot our own horns. 407 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:55,440 We are really good at working with kids because we don't see them as here comes bad Johnny, 408 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,440 who's going to have an explosive. 409 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,720 We go to Johnny. 410 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,740 He just needs to do some more exploding rocks. 411 00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:01,720 And then we get to see the real Johnny because he doesn't. 412 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,520 And I know the real Johnny. 413 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:04,520 Yeah. 414 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:09,220 Being a recovering road rager, pop master express. 415 00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:12,040 It was never fun to be that person. 416 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,640 It was never, ever fun. 417 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,600 And everyone who's listening right now, you've all been there where you're like, why did 418 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,160 I say and do explain, see, I don't like who that was. 419 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,660 You all know that feeling. 420 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:22,880 Nobody wants to do that. 421 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,960 And that's what we're trying to share with you is you don't have to, but you do have 422 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:30,300 to do some aligned action right now and actually do our program and integrate your reflexes, 423 00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:35,100 get on the floor and cream and crawl and take care of your brain so you can show up differently. 424 00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:39,520 And Paloma just beautifully segwayed us into the subconscious because we're talking about 425 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:40,800 behaviors. 426 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:44,200 So we can literally watch how you move. 427 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:48,400 We'll tell you what's brain related and we'll say, this is that reflex, not integrated. 428 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,120 Here's a lower center of the brain, either the pawns or the midbrain. 429 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:55,280 We look at how you move and we tell you exactly where your brain's at every time. 430 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,760 It's amazing. 431 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,780 Then we start to look into the subconscious. 432 00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:01,400 Now the subconscious is incredible. 433 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:07,480 We've talked about it before because it's over 95% driving who you are daily. 434 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,280 You don't even think about it. 435 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,280 Obviously it's subconscious. 436 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:18,720 So it's when your parents or however you're conceived and that moment you are taking on 437 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,080 whatever energy came before you. 438 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:25,160 Remember we were all eggs and our moms and our grandmothers were pregnant with them. 439 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:29,680 So think about that generation of what was being thought of, what was being passed down. 440 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:34,540 And I love, there is a whole wave right now on social media of like, I am a first generation 441 00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:35,540 gentle parent. 442 00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:39,100 Like the consciousness that's coming through right now is amazing. 443 00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,440 Is it easy to be a gentle parent? 444 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:46,680 Absolutely not because it takes a spotlight on you and being like, why am I doing this? 445 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,080 And I just heard this by the way, I'm sure you've seen it where I don't know if your 446 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,880 algorithm hits that way. 447 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,840 Why is it that we're so triggered by our kids? 448 00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:01,040 And it's really because like, let's say my kids who are four and seven and I've had a 449 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:05,400 lot of ahas with my four year old because her and I are very similar. 450 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:10,760 Four year old Siggy is where four year old Danny was but didn't get what she needed. 451 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:16,240 And so now I'm giving four year old Siggy what Danny, little Danny needed. 452 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:20,360 And then like even my kids were afraid of the dark at night and I'm like, the difference 453 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,280 is you guys have your brain work, right? 454 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,560 I didn't have brain work when I was little. 455 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:29,360 And now I'm like, but have I healed the scared little Danny version, right? 456 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:32,960 And so now I'm like, I think I'm keeping that alive still a little bit. 457 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:37,920 So this is what's so cool is when you start to dive into the subconscious and you start 458 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:42,640 to look at, okay, we were just talking about the difficult child, right? 459 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:47,160 He was always just being already programmed to believe he was going to be hard. 460 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,280 He was going to be the tough kid. 461 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:54,360 So then he already knew I'm tough and my subconscious is going to operate from being the kid that 462 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:56,480 doesn't cooperate and has meltdowns. 463 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:57,480 That's my ML. 464 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:02,880 Once again comes to the fact that the brain always wants to confirm what it already knows 465 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:03,880 to be true. 466 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:04,880 Yeah. 467 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,000 Knows if you're only listening, I'm doing quote air quotes, right? 468 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,000 Knows to be true. 469 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:14,840 So if the brain quote unquote knows that you're a difficult kid, then it's going to prove 470 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:19,080 that to you over and over and over because it's a confirmation bias, right? 471 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,080 I already know this. 472 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,080 I am difficult. 473 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,080 Yep. 474 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:27,440 I'm a really, really tough, horrible kid and I'm confirming it all the time with my mom, 475 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:31,000 with my dad, with my teachers, with my grandparents, with my caregivers, anybody that's around 476 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,120 me, right? 477 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:33,700 Or I am dumb. 478 00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:35,440 So I'm going to continue. 479 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,560 That's also very common because the school system, and I think we've done an episode 480 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,040 about school system already, but we could do a million of them. 481 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,040 Yes. 482 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:48,000 School system is not set up for divergent brains, neurodivergent brains, which at this 483 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,200 point, neurotypical, what is that? 484 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,200 Never heard of it. 485 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,760 Like nobody is actually neurotypical. 486 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,720 It's a great idea for studying and for research. 487 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,400 I don't think anybody in the world right now is actually neurotypical. 488 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,320 Like we all have something that's different. 489 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:06,600 I mean, if you have all your reflexes integrated, all your lower brain developed and you have 490 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:10,760 zero subconscious beliefs that are interfering with you, then you're a robot. 491 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,280 But that doesn't exist because we're humans, right? 492 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,880 Genuinely, I don't think there's one person that can actually say that because also think 493 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:21,400 about how many new subconscious things come up every day and sometimes you realize, oh 494 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,640 my God, this is a new trigger, whatever. 495 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:28,760 And so that's the kid that a lot of kids get labeled as dumb or they're not good enough. 496 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,440 And so that's what they're confirming with their life all the time. 497 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,680 And we can have, you've all seen this, right? 498 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,600 Where you have the same exact experience as somebody who's next to you and they perceived 499 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,760 it in such a different way. 500 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,120 Genuinely, that is what it is. 501 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:45,400 It's your brain confirming what it already quote unquote knows to be true. 502 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,960 And the knowing, not so real, am I right? 503 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,760 You can quote unquote know all these things, but they're not real. 504 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,640 They're just your subconscious beliefs. 505 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,600 They're not always going to be true. 506 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:56,600 Some of them are. 507 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,600 Most of them, if they're negative, they're not. 508 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,560 And they what we call it like it's your BS, your belief system. 509 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:07,160 It's your self-fulfilling prophecy of. 510 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,280 And here's what's crazy. 511 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,880 So let's say a reflex gets triggered. 512 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,600 A lower brain part behavior comes online, right? 513 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:19,200 And so now you're operating from what we call survival mode, a dysregulated nervous system. 514 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:26,840 And then your confirmation bias to it is see, I knew I am always this person. 515 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:27,840 Right. 516 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:32,360 And so once you come out of survival mode and you're not triggered the same way, your 517 00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:35,240 nervous system doesn't dysregulate and get thrown out of whack anymore. 518 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,000 You don't need to go feel like, Oh, I'm overstimulated. 519 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,320 You're just like, Oh, I'm literally sitting in sadness. 520 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:44,440 I'm literally sitting in anger, but I am not exploding. 521 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:45,520 I'm not slamming doors. 522 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:47,320 I'm not flipping people off. 523 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,600 I'm not doing the behaviors associated with my normal nervous system. 524 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,480 So you have to up, you have to completely upset that nervous system and be like, no, 525 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,120 no, no, that's not how I want to operate because I was raised in chaos. 526 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,160 I don't want to be in case anymore. 527 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,000 And you have to effort through that. 528 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:05,680 And it's and it changes also like for depending on what it's not always the chaos, right? 529 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,600 Like for you, it's a chaos that you're thinking of. 530 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:08,600 Right. 531 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:09,600 But it can be something else completely. 532 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:14,280 It can be like something very passive or feeling bad about yourself or whatever it might be 533 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:15,760 right for each person. 534 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:21,920 And I just went to the nutritionist last week and I hadn't like weighed myself in a million 535 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:22,920 years. 536 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:29,960 I looked at the number and I was like, okay, normally like a year ago that would have thrown 537 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:30,960 me into full crisis. 538 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:31,960 That's a high number. 539 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:32,960 Okay. 540 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:33,960 It's high. 541 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,400 But I'm like, listen, whatever. 542 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,400 That's what it is right now. 543 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:37,400 I'm already here. 544 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,400 I'm working on it. 545 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:43,160 And I'm, you know, I'm actively pursuing a healthier life than my body. 546 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:44,840 But I that's exactly it. 547 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:50,120 I looked at the same trigger that would have actually sent me into a full crisis a year 548 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,520 ago, two years ago. 549 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,680 And I was like, man, okay, well, I got to work on it. 550 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,120 You know, get better. 551 00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:56,120 Yeah. 552 00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:58,240 Your nervous system is now regulated. 553 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:03,560 And now you can say, I'm not happy with the way this feels, but I don't have to go cry 554 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:04,560 for five hours. 555 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,920 I don't need to shame myself. 556 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:10,160 I need to say, ooh, what's coming up for me right now? 557 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:11,840 What do I want to move forward through? 558 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:16,480 And I think that has been my biggest change too, is saying, okay, my nervous system now 559 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:17,760 is regulated. 560 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,520 So now when I get hit with the trigger of, ooh, I didn't like how that felt. 561 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,520 I don't like that feeling. 562 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,120 What am I going to do about it? 563 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:27,500 And that's where we come in with the reconnects. 564 00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:31,040 And we help you then reframe how do you want to see yourself differently. 565 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:35,440 So it's like you literally get to put a different lens on and you get to see yourself as X, 566 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,440 Y, and Z. 567 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:40,240 We're big into, let's first look at the nervous system. 568 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,200 How are you showing up from a brain perspective? 569 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:48,120 Is there a behavior you're showing that is related to your primitive reflexes, your pawns, 570 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:49,560 or your midbrain? 571 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:53,080 Once we rule that out, then we look at the subconscious. 572 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,720 Why are you still showing up in the same space? 573 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,360 And Paloma, okay, this is good. 574 00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:01,080 We have to share this because what's Paloma's favorite hashtag every episode? 575 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,920 Society's expectations. 576 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,560 Every episode, right? 577 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:09,360 And then I just asked her like two days ago, I was like, have you actually checked yourself 578 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,120 on caring about society's expectations? 579 00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:15,080 And it was like her system was like, I actually care. 580 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:20,360 Yeah, I was like, I did a reconnect. 581 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:21,360 And I did a reconnect. 582 00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:24,080 And it was like, but see, that's how this work is. 583 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,080 Right. 584 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,820 So you'll have things show up in your life multiple times. 585 00:27:27,820 --> 00:27:31,760 And until you're ready, like maybe you've been listening to our podcast for a while, 586 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,040 you're like, this sounds fascinating. 587 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:34,200 This sounds too good to be true. 588 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,000 We get that a lot. 589 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:40,440 But it's it is so good to be able to feel good. 590 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,740 It is it is not too good to be true. 591 00:27:42,740 --> 00:27:44,120 You do have to effort though. 592 00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:45,120 That's the one caveat. 593 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,120 Absolutely. 594 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:50,320 But once you start to realize, okay, this has shown up for me so many times and I keep 595 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,740 saying it and I don't even realize I'm saying it. 596 00:27:53,740 --> 00:27:56,560 And then you check with your subconscious of like, okay, there's a reason I kept saying 597 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,320 it over and over is because it actually meant something to me. 598 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:03,520 That's the biggest thing for me, but also something that I would have not been able 599 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:05,960 to do 10 years ago or whenever you know what I mean? 600 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:12,560 Like before I did my brain work, I feel like we strayed a lot from the topic of the behaviors, 601 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,600 but I still think it's been a very good conversation. 602 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:19,320 Well, it's all connected, though, because the subconscious is all things that are programmed 603 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:20,320 into us. 604 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,320 Right. 605 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,480 And then we get to take our time to then decide, is that who I am? 606 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:31,160 So if we're someone who's like, always saying sorry or giving into things or we're, you 607 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:36,360 know, oh, this is just how I am or the best one these days is the weaponized incompetence 608 00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:37,920 that's coming through. 609 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:39,480 That's the subconscious. 610 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:44,360 That's a subconscious just saying, you know what, you've overruled me for so much that 611 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:45,600 I just can't do it. 612 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,960 And I'm actually going to do it wrong. 613 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,280 So you don't ever actually have to ask me to do it again. 614 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,280 Like there's so many different ways to do it. 615 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,280 That's a learned behavior, too. 616 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,280 Like this is both. 617 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:53,280 Right? 618 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:54,280 Right. 619 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:58,440 So it's the learned behavior of whenever I say I can't do something, it always or I 620 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:02,080 just procrastinate it, somebody else solves it for me. 621 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,560 So why would I ever try to do anything on my own if somebody's always going to do it 622 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:06,560 for me? 623 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,160 But then the other hand of it, of the subconscious, right? 624 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:14,320 Kind of like the brain perspective is you might feel like you're not good enough at 625 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,320 things. 626 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,920 And so you never want to try to do anything because you think you might mess up because 627 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:21,200 you got that messaging when you were younger of you're a screw up. 628 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:22,440 You never do anything right. 629 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,800 Whatever it might be for each person. 630 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,360 And that's also what's shaping. 631 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:30,080 I don't even want to try and that's a lot of people that get scared of like fear of 632 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,520 failure, fear of even fear of success. 633 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,520 Right. 634 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:34,520 Because what if I mess it up? 635 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:35,520 Right. 636 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,600 And so that's kind of the subconscious piece for that one. 637 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:43,240 And I think even and for saying sorry, it's also like similar where the the learned behavior 638 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,920 can be. 639 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:50,320 I have have been gotten in trouble so much when I was younger that I always had to apologize, 640 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,680 always thought everything was my fault because for whatever reason, a caregiver, an older 641 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:56,520 sibling, whoever it was, always made everything seem like it was my fault. 642 00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:00,280 I'm always saying sorry, sorry, excuse me, we know whatever. 643 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:04,360 And on the other hand, the brain, the brain perspective might be my proprioceptive system 644 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:05,520 is totally dysregulated. 645 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,160 So I am constantly bumping into people and bumping into things. 646 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,640 So I'm used to saying sorry, because usually my fault because I don't know where my personal 647 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:12,640 bubble is. 648 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,060 I don't know where my body is in space. 649 00:30:14,060 --> 00:30:17,180 So that's the other you know, there's always two sides to it. 650 00:30:17,180 --> 00:30:19,240 And sometimes the combination of both. 651 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:20,240 Right. 652 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,320 And usually is. 653 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:25,800 So that's where we love getting to go through this with our members and help them make sense 654 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,360 of like, where is this act? 655 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:28,360 What is the root? 656 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:29,360 Right. 657 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,380 Like, what is the actual root that is keeping this alive? 658 00:30:32,380 --> 00:30:34,880 And so we walk you through the process of figuring yourself out. 659 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:39,180 And this my favorite part now is like, I know exactly where that came from. 660 00:30:39,180 --> 00:30:44,900 And then I can write without feeling it again, and without experiencing the trauma again, 661 00:30:44,900 --> 00:30:49,600 whether it be a big or small trauma, I can now just go, OK, wait, nope, I don't have 662 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,760 to feel it, put my nervous system back into it. 663 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,120 But I can say, actually, I want this lens instead. 664 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:55,440 This is how I want to see it differently. 665 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:58,440 And I can shift my perception immediately. 666 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:05,720 And so now I walk in the space of seeing so many other people who have that going on. 667 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:06,720 Yes. 668 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:11,880 We just want to create a world of a safe space for people to say, hey, we're all doing the 669 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,500 best that we can with the tools we have. 670 00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:15,920 And have you tried these tools yet? 671 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:20,400 These tools change your life because it gets you to a place with not having to think your 672 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,400 way through. 673 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:22,400 Agreed. 674 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,400 And thinking your way through is what most people are doing. 675 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:26,900 And we don't even know it. 676 00:31:26,900 --> 00:31:31,600 And that's what most approaches are based on, is going through the cortex and thinking 677 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:35,040 your way through things, thinking your way through what might have happened when you 678 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,200 were younger, what your triggers are, whatever. 679 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:39,020 And it's not saying that we're not going to think. 680 00:31:39,020 --> 00:31:40,020 We are thinking. 681 00:31:40,020 --> 00:31:44,960 But you've got to address the subconscious before and the primitive reflexes, the primitive 682 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:45,960 brain, right? 683 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,800 If not, all that you can do, all the thinking you want. 684 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,920 That second the trigger comes up again, you're going to go back into that fight or flight 685 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:52,920 mode. 686 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,880 And that what you were just saying earlier about reliving it, that's something that Lisa 687 00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:59,200 Miller talks about in the in the book that we're reading for Book Club. 688 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:00,200 The Awakened Brain. 689 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,200 Such a good book, The Awakened Brain. 690 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,960 We should plug this into the show notes so people can join. 691 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,000 I mean, there's not that much time yet left to read it. 692 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,520 But if you go on Audible, put it on 1.25, which is what I did. 693 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:11,960 Just listen to the book. 694 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:13,520 It's great. 695 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:19,880 But I feel like she was talking about how when she started training as a psychiatrist, 696 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:23,920 she was doing her rounds and some hospital in New York. 697 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:29,760 All the approaches in that time, I think it was like the 80s, were having people relive 698 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,880 the traumas that made them end up where they are. 699 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,160 So these are people that have a lot of psychiatric disorders. 700 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,000 They have addictions, you know, all this stuff. 701 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,220 And all the approaches, all the doctors were saying, OK, now go back. 702 00:32:40,220 --> 00:32:41,560 What happened when you were three years old? 703 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:42,720 What happened when you were five? 704 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:43,720 What happened when you were seven? 705 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:45,560 And she was like, this isn't helping them. 706 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:50,720 They're just, of course, part of, of course, remembering something that happened to you 707 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:54,480 is going to help you understand what trauma could have caused and what could have come 708 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:55,480 after that. 709 00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:56,480 Right. 710 00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:00,480 But why do you have to relive it every single day, every single session that you have with 711 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:01,800 your psychiatrist? 712 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,880 And so that was a huge thing. 713 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:09,600 And in her really revolutionizing the current way of looking at spirituality, looking at 714 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:14,200 the brain, looking at the way that we see trauma and I mean, she's just an amazing inspiration. 715 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,520 We love her. 716 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:19,720 And I just think that's such a big thing that a lot of a lot of modalities still have. 717 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:20,720 Right. 718 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,680 Is that going back and reliving and putting your body and your brain back into that, into 719 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:28,000 that memory, into that traumatic thing that happened to you. 720 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:34,840 And we've seen so many people notice changes and go back and rewire patterns that were 721 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,480 in their brain, in their body. 722 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:41,560 It felt like it was hardwired just by doing the brain work, getting rid of it without 723 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:45,720 having to go back and relive those really, really difficult situations, because everybody's 724 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:49,600 got something that that, you know, can trigger them again. 725 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:50,600 100%. 726 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:55,200 And I think that is where it doesn't have to be so complicated. 727 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,600 It doesn't have to be so hard. 728 00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,120 And I think that's what we're all so used to. 729 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:03,320 Everything is just being such a giant mountain to tackle. 730 00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:05,920 And we give you the smallest doable to start. 731 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,400 And the minute you start our program, we're not talking about subconscious beliefs right 732 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,400 away. 733 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,240 We're talking about do your morrows, making an X and creep, get five minutes of creeping 734 00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:15,280 in a day. 735 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:19,080 And then, like, as your system starts to regulate, then all of a sudden you can build. 736 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,160 And so you're building. 737 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:25,240 And so by the time you get to level two, you're like, no, I'm hungry to go deeper. 738 00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:27,120 And this is where our members are like, OK, now what? 739 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:28,120 Now what? 740 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,120 Right. 741 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:32,560 And I love because we have our WhatsApp group that's all about accountability and people 742 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:36,520 are in there just like, oh, my gosh, I had this huge revelation about this is where it 743 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:37,520 came from. 744 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,520 And then I was able to shift it to this. 745 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:41,440 Anybody have ideas on how I can shift this? 746 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:44,120 And so that's where you are in a community where we're supporting you. 747 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,760 We're all speaking the same language. 748 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,800 And it's exciting stuff because things are happening. 749 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:49,800 Guess what, Puma? 750 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:53,360 This is a really long episode, but we have to wrap this up. 751 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,800 And I am ready to do the. 752 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,720 Oh, yeah. 753 00:34:58,720 --> 00:34:59,720 It's OK. 754 00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:01,040 So bear with me, y'all. 755 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:06,560 I'm going to give us the the outing here, the outro, if you will. 756 00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:10,320 And the first thing's first, if you're listening and you want to get started on the program 757 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,040 today, we do have a promo code for you. 758 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:17,520 It is Brainiac and you can get ten dollars off your first payment of our program. 759 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:21,040 Remember it's 12 payments of forty seven dollars a month. 760 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:24,680 And then when you're done paying after the year, you're done, but you still have access. 761 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:29,780 We are a lifetime brand with lifestyle options to change your life. 762 00:35:29,780 --> 00:35:31,580 So that's where we're at. 763 00:35:31,580 --> 00:35:34,120 This is twenty twenty four where we're like going for more. 764 00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:35,120 Right. 765 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:40,480 OK, so if you want to find us on social media, you can find us on TikTok at in underscore 766 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,600 the underscore underscore cortex. 767 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,000 I almost had it perfect. 768 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:54,480 If you want to find us at Instagram, you can find us at in the cortex underscore US. 769 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,460 We also have a Spanish one. 770 00:35:56,460 --> 00:36:00,680 So it's in the cortex underscore ESP that when we're working on. 771 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:04,480 So if you're a Spanish speaker or you want to send this to your Spanish speaking friends, 772 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,160 that's that one. 773 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,160 Facebook is in the cortex US. 774 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,440 If you want to write us an email, hello at in the cortex dot com. 775 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:17,000 Our website is w w w dot in the cortex dot com. 776 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,000 And I think I got them all right. 777 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,000 We have a YouTube. 778 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,000 Great. 779 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,000 That was fantastic. 780 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,080 You that's a YouTube channel is in the cortex US as well. 781 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,640 I mean, there we go. 782 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,520 If you just Google, you'll find us. 783 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,840 So I did some much and had some of them pulled up. 784 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,440 Hey, that's neither here nor there. 785 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,760 OK, we are so happy you're here. 786 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:35,880 Thank you for joining us. 787 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,600 We're going to break down behaviors on our next episode and go deeper, I think, and keep 788 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:40,600 going. 789 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:41,600 So stay tuned. 790 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:42,600 Yes. 791 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:43,600 Thank you. 792 00:36:43,600 --> 00:37:09,840 Well, let's talk to you again next time.