Hi, and welcome to the In the Cortex podcast.
We are your hosts.
I'm Paloma Garcia.
And I am Dani Perrecone.
And we're the founders of In the Cortex, an online community with programs that show people
the tools that they need to change their lives through brain reorganization.
No medication, just movement.
When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start
to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex.
Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life.
And now on to today's episode.
Hello and welcome to our second season, third episode of our podcast.
We're super excited because we have a really fun breakdown of helping you understand more
about the brain, the behaviors, and connecting all those dots.
So today we're talking about breaking down of brain related behaviors versus learned
behaviors.
So it's going to be a fun episode.
Yeah, it's a good one.
I feel like a lot of us think that our behaviors are, I mean, we've said this before, but our
behaviors are who we are and the things we do define us as people.
And this is kind of to shed light on the things that maybe are something that you learned
and you picked up from parents or from whatever, and also looking at what behaviors are coming
from your disorganized brain, from retained primitive reflexes, from other stuff that's
just kind of holding you back.
And it doesn't mean that that's who you are.
So that's kind of why we wanted to do this episode.
I love talking about this.
Obviously we do.
That's why we have a podcast.
But I love to share this even more.
And I oftentimes will bite my tongue, hold my tongue.
I don't know what you say, the expression correctly.
I will hold my tongue when I hear people say, oh, I just have this going on with me.
And I was like, but did you know that's a reflex?
It's a primitive reflex.
And that just means it's on right now.
And you have within you the tools to integrate it.
So you do not have this.
And I was just talking to someone and they're like, oh, my posture.
I just want to sit like this all the time.
And I'm like, oh, your posture, that's a reflex.
You should have your reflexes integrated so that way that postural reflex can turn on.
Come on.
So we're going to break down for you the primitive reflexes again.
So if you haven't heard it yet, we're going to break them down, make it make even more
sense of what behaviors are actually connected to how your brain is wired.
OK, exactly.
Remember, primitive reflexes are automatic instinctual movements that are designed to
keep you alive in the first year of life.
Your goal as a teeny tiny baby, even starting a neutero, you're supposed to be moving in
specific patterns and specific ways that you have innately wired into you.
You do it enough and your brain is like, all right, cool.
I'm ready to move on to the next one.
And then once you've done all the movements and they've all become integrated, then they
lie dormant.
They lie dormant for when true survival comes at you.
Now, in today's world, we're not living in true survival.
Most of us.
This is a generalization, obviously, but we are interpreting it as survival.
And we say this over and over.
People think that traffic, not finding a parking spot, being late or whatever it is, turns
the brain into that survival mode.
So we're here to share with you.
You can get out of that mode.
And it's so easy to do 20 minutes a day.
I shouldn't say easy.
It's simple.
It's not easy.
It's hard work, especially in the beginning.
It's hard to get used to it, but it's so worth it.
And that's why we share a lot of our members stories and all of our testimonials and stuff
on on social media, because it really does change people's lives.
It's changed our lives and it changed everybody who's actually done the program.
We have hundreds of members, thousands of people who have done it before, you know,
before we even started online, whose life it has changed.
So we're very confident in saying if you do it might not be easy, but it will change your
life.
And I think one thing that I wanted to also say is you're going to hear these behaviors
and you're going to say, well, a lot of the time you're going to say, well, what's the
big deal?
Why is that a problem that I do that?
Well, it's not a problem inherently, but it does mean that your brain is working a lot
harder than it needs to.
So while the behavior itself might be like, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't bother me.
Doesn't bother anybody else.
It might still mean that your brain just doesn't have the bandwidth that you would that you
could have right to really be yourself and to live your life in the cortex.
And I hope that makes sense.
We'll get into it as we have examples.
I love that you just said that, because so many people, when we say change, they're like,
oh, what does that mean?
It's scary.
Right.
And so when we say change, we don't mean you change who you are.
You change your response to your environment and it becomes automatic.
So if you are wired to be a fight person, that goes away and you become a calmer, more
neutral level headed person who can see both sides.
Right.
Both of us.
Yeah.
Like, and honestly, and it's the simplest thing.
So you know, when babies are little and a loud noise happens, they're like sleeping
cozy comfy.
And then all of a sudden they hear a noise like and they fling their arms out.
They open their hands.
They take a deep inhale.
And then they start to turn red.
They usually start to cry.
And then they will come back into this position of kind of curled back up.
That is a reflex.
If you hear a loud noise, if you're so babies can't walk, they can't talk, they can't do
a whole lot.
They can just cry.
Right.
And they can move in specific patterns to save themselves.
So that movement alerts the system to wake up.
It's time to go into survival mode.
Something might be coming at you.
Right.
And the thing is, is there's a time and place for a baby to do this.
We want babies to be doing this between two to four months of life actively.
They do that startle reflex.
It's what it looks like.
It's a big startle.
And then they calm back down.
It needs to do it enough times until the brain's like, OK, I got that pattern.
I know what it is.
Now I can let that lie dormant.
So if we're swaddling babies, they're not getting that flinging of the arms out.
Right.
And so then their brain didn't have a chance to go through it.
So then that reflex remains on.
It didn't go through its full pattern.
Exactly.
And it also has to do not just swaddling, but also when we're kind of overprotecting
them, so to speak.
Right.
When some babies that just really don't get that movement or that aren't really exposed
to different things, kids that are maybe left on their back all day.
Right.
They're sitting in a chair all day.
They're not getting the exposure of I'm going to hear that sound.
Sometimes it also has to do when you're when the head changes position.
So if a baby is like moving around, crawling around and the head changes position in a
weird way, that which is what usually happens when they're sleeping.
Right.
When they're dreaming about something and they kind of get thrown off, it's happened
to all of us when you're, you know, when you kind of wake up like that in the startle,
they're not getting the opportunity to startle.
And so what happens is that they're stuck with the infant startle reflex instead of
it developing into the adult startle reflex, because adults do have a startle reflex as
well.
We all have it.
Everybody.
We've all been there, right?
When you're like, whoa, that was really loud or somebody came out of nowhere, came out
of nowhere.
Right.
And you if you have an adult startle reflex, you have the ability to startle, look at what's
going on, decide whether it's a threat or not, and then go on with your life or go into
survival mode.
Right.
If it is something dangerous, then you got to get into that fight or flight.
But if it's not, then you're like, okay, take a deep breath.
Within a minute, you're back to your baseline.
You're fine.
Right.
If you don't, then that's where and this is where a lot of people I talk about this with
people that I talk about this stuff with, like my friends and stuff.
If you are somebody who gets startled one very easily, even if you know, like even if
you know who's in the house, they're over there, blah, blah, and you walk into them
in the in the hallway, and they throws you into that startle.
And you're like, why did I get so sort of I knew you were there.
Right.
And that response lasts five, 10, sometimes like half an hour or an hour for some people
where you're still like, I can't calm down.
That's how you know also that it's the infant startle reflex, the morrow is still active
and that you need to integrate it.
Yeah.
So some sign.
So you can trigger the moral reflex with sudden unexpected occurrence of any kind.
And this is through, like Paloma said, a head movement noise, like I mentioned, anything
in the visual realm or anything tactile pain or anything that's temperature change or being
handled too roughly that will turn that reflex on.
OK.
Now, what happens is the physical response to it is oftentimes looked at as the difficult
child or difficult person.
So this is the key part here is that as a baby, we don't really make too much.
Oh, they cried.
OK, that makes sense.
But as adults or as even older children in kindergarten and up, if they're having these
responses to that reflex being activated, then we perceive them as, oh, they're so difficult
and they're so challenging.
So that's what we're here to dispel is that it's not that they're trying to be.
It's an automatic reaction that's coming over their system thinking they need to survive.
OK, so that looks like instantaneous arousal.
It looks like rapid inhalation, momentary freeze or startle followed by expiration,
often accompanied by a cry, activation of the fight or flight response, which is the
main one that we see.
And that is when it's telling the sympathetic nervous system, it's time to go, which is
releasing the adrenaline, the cortisol into the system.
That's what Paloma just said.
It takes a long time to calm down.
And that in and of itself, like some people are like, well, I'm just easily started.
Like it's not that big of a deal.
You might think that's one of those behaviors, right?
You're like, well, whatever.
I just get started, it's no big deal.
But it is a big deal because your body is being flooded with chemical that it doesn't
know how to release and it doesn't need to release right now.
Right.
So if your body's flooded with cortisol five times a day because you get startled five
times a day on the on average, that's that's cortisol.
It's like going through your veins, through your body, setting up your body for fight
or flight.
But you're not going into that fight or flight.
So that those chemicals get stuck, get trapped in the body.
And that's where we have a lot of inflammation, a lot of long term challenges that come with
it can cause anxiety and cause so many different things.
I mean, we can do a whole episode on the effects of high cortisol in the body.
Right.
I mean, this is something that's been studied over the years.
Right.
So it might not seem like it's a big deal to just get startled, but actually your body,
it is a big deal for your body.
A hundred percent.
So when I and this is when I was living in Ecuador, I did not have developed and integrated
a neural reflex.
So I felt like and I mean, when I was in Quito, it was definitely survival.
But my brain took it to the next level because I did go through some encounters like being
robbed at gunpoint and stuff like that, where it definitely was true survival.
Right.
But then every occurrence of leaving the house, my system would go into sympathetic state
of like, I have to survive.
And that's neuroplasticity working because neuroplasticity, your brain's like, OK, last
time they went out, something very scary happened.
So now every time I go out and that's trauma that's getting stored in your system, in your
brain and in your literal body.
I mean, it's there.
Right.
I logical response.
I aged like 10 years living there for two.
So we could go through every single reflex and help you make sense of it, but that would
make this episode three hours long.
So here's we want to give like a minor thing like let's just take communication, for example.
Say you're talking to whether it be your friend, your spouse, your neighbor, whoever it is,
if there is a trigger to their system while you're in the middle of a conversation, then
it could have them react in a very aggressive way and it will show up as a fight or flight
symptom.
And so that is a brain related behavior.
And what we love about our program is that in 20 minutes and less than 20 minutes, because
the whole thing is 20 minutes, but like just integrating your moral reflex takes you less
than 30 seconds a day.
And it's instant.
Like I was actually just in here with my mom and she knows that I talk about her in the
podcast a lot.
We love her.
She's amazing.
And she was just doing her mirrors and she was falling backwards when she was doing it.
And she's like, is that bad?
And I was like, it's not bad.
It just means that that moral turned back on and our reflexes can turn back on quite
quickly.
And so when our system is hit with enough stressors, it goes up, it's time to survive
again.
And that's what we're talking about.
What we've been talking about on the podcast is that nowadays we get stressors all over
the place.
I genuinely think, I mean, listen, I love my TikTok as much as the next gal, am I right?
But this is triggering our survival, bro.
Like I don't know all of the science on this.
And I know that there's still so much, so many people that are looking at the actual
effects of having the screens on our faces.
You and I work on a screen, right?
Like it's this type of light and the overstimulation, just the amount of information that we have
is overstimulating us and putting us back into that fight or flight, which is why once
again, it's a lifestyle, right?
Like you have to learn these tools and then apply them literally for the rest of your
life.
And I like that we talked about the moral because I feel like that's the most commonly
retained reflex.
But like you're saying, like this is somebody that if you're talking about something, they
get upset about it.
They go into that rage, right?
And we all know somebody like that.
What do people say about them?
Oh, you know, she's really nice.
She just, you know, she has a short fuse.
So just like be careful, right?
How many people I used to be like that, right?
I think my friends used to tell their friends like, you know, beware of Paloma is like,
you know, she can get a little intense sometimes.
And I was that person, you know, and I was constantly just like picking and picking and
picking fights with people.
And I was like, it's just my personality, right?
And I was like, whatever, it's fine.
It's part of my personality.
And not until I did my brain work and then I came back to Mexico City, my friends were
like, whoa, you're just like the fun part all the time now.
And I was like, oh, cool.
Obviously not all the time.
But you know what I mean?
Like you're just like the fun version of yourself now and you're not going into that fight or
flight mode.
I didn't think it was a problem before, but now I'm maybe not a problem, but it was definitely
something that it was nice to get out of that because they didn't realize how much time
I had spent in that like fight or flight response.
And sometimes, you know, you're in that response without even knowing.
Like, for example, when I worked and this is something you and I have talked about,
just going back to the cortisol really quick.
I worked in ABA settings with kids with autism for almost, I think, seven years, maybe eight
years.
And you are just constantly in fight or flight because you're like hyper aware of everything
that's going on with the kids.
We had to do restraints.
It was horrible.
Like some days if the kid was having a hard time, I would be restraining a child literally
all day at work.
And it was just so stressful.
And the amount of cortisol you have in your body from that, I genuinely think I'm still
recovering from it.
Like I get a body change, my metabolism change, my skin change.
Everything changed when I started working in those in those settings.
And at the same time, it's the most rewarding thing you can ever do in the world and in
the world.
And I love my students so much and I miss them every single day.
Right.
But it's like you're in that in that moment and you need to find that way to like release
this stuff.
And even though I was doing the brain work, it wasn't enough.
You know, I needed to I wasn't doing it all the time.
I wasn't doing the subconscious work.
Wasn't looking at what the triggers were with that stuff.
And so once again, I just thought it was just part of who I was.
And I will say, though, I had already done a lot of brain work by then.
So that's also why I think I was good at that stuff because I wasn't getting like, like
some teachers would get totally shocked and I'd be like, that's their morrow.
Right.
Because like, you know, if somebody chucks a phone in your face, like it's shocking
and it hashtag hurts a lot, you know, but that's also kind of like being in those situations
that you notice, like who's in that mode and who's not.
Right.
And that's exactly it.
So you're in that state, right.
Now your system is predicting it.
So then your system starts to call that in and that mirroring neuron effect is then going
to challenge their system.
And then it just right.
And that's what we do is because and that's what I always say, this goes for every relationship.
If you're calm, like you all meet those people who are like just so calming, it's because
they have the reflexes integrated, right.
At least they have most of them integrated and most of the lower centers of the brain
integrated.
And and then but if you're already thinking it's going to happen and you're predicting
it, then it comes through and that happens.
And so with my kids, just like what you experienced about calming your system, as soon as I integrated
my reflexes and literally my nervous system just chilled out.
Now my kids nervous systems chill out.
So they start to go to meltdown mode.
I'm not mirroring it anymore.
I'm in calm zone.
There's the thumbs up.
I go to my calm zone and then they don't escalate.
So imagine if you imagine if you were working on your brain and then the child you're working
with also start working on their brain, then your systems would start to co-regulate and
start exactly together.
Well, and that's what happened with the kids that I was working with after school, because
I was going and doing brain work sessions after school.
And those kids, some of them were at the school that I worked where I worked and they were
just like doing so amazingly well because of that.
Right.
And because the whole family was participating and you know, it's a whole thing.
But it's also like, yeah, looking at that way that you respond, I think is just an enormous
thing.
And I think also just as we're going to talk about that in a little bit is the conception
that we have and the preconceptions that we have about people.
That was my number one frustration working in schools because I came from working in
business.
Like I had never been in a school before.
And the way that some of the teachers would just get there in the morning, good morning
as they're going, oh, I have this kid.
I know he's going to have a rough day because I know mom told me that he ate a lot of sugar
last night.
He didn't sleep.
So it's good.
I'm going to have a really rough day.
And I'd be like, you're not saying it right now.
Like let's have a rough day.
Maybe you won't.
That's just life.
Let's like, why are you deciding right now that this kid is going to have a meltdown?
You're his teacher.
Of course he's going to have a meltdown if you just decided it from the side.
He hasn't even here yet.
He's having his bread and butter.
You know, they feel it and they feel it so much.
And I remember like there was just some kids that were really tough and their teachers
would like that their case managers would be like, yeah, that kid, you know, there's
no, there's no hope for that kid.
You know, I remember one specifically and that's, you know, they pick up on that.
Oh my gosh.
And that is literally it.
Words and energy have so much power.
So if you walk in and this is where Paloma and I, we will toot our own horns.
We are really good at working with kids because we don't see them as here comes bad Johnny,
who's going to have an explosive.
We go to Johnny.
He just needs to do some more exploding rocks.
And then we get to see the real Johnny because he doesn't.
And I know the real Johnny.
Yeah.
Being a recovering road rager, pop master express.
It was never fun to be that person.
It was never, ever fun.
And everyone who's listening right now, you've all been there where you're like, why did
I say and do explain, see, I don't like who that was.
You all know that feeling.
Nobody wants to do that.
And that's what we're trying to share with you is you don't have to, but you do have
to do some aligned action right now and actually do our program and integrate your reflexes,
get on the floor and cream and crawl and take care of your brain so you can show up differently.
And Paloma just beautifully segwayed us into the subconscious because we're talking about
behaviors.
So we can literally watch how you move.
We'll tell you what's brain related and we'll say, this is that reflex, not integrated.
Here's a lower center of the brain, either the pawns or the midbrain.
We look at how you move and we tell you exactly where your brain's at every time.
It's amazing.
Then we start to look into the subconscious.
Now the subconscious is incredible.
We've talked about it before because it's over 95% driving who you are daily.
You don't even think about it.
Obviously it's subconscious.
So it's when your parents or however you're conceived and that moment you are taking on
whatever energy came before you.
Remember we were all eggs and our moms and our grandmothers were pregnant with them.
So think about that generation of what was being thought of, what was being passed down.
And I love, there is a whole wave right now on social media of like, I am a first generation
gentle parent.
Like the consciousness that's coming through right now is amazing.
Is it easy to be a gentle parent?
Absolutely not because it takes a spotlight on you and being like, why am I doing this?
And I just heard this by the way, I'm sure you've seen it where I don't know if your
algorithm hits that way.
Why is it that we're so triggered by our kids?
And it's really because like, let's say my kids who are four and seven and I've had a
lot of ahas with my four year old because her and I are very similar.
Four year old Siggy is where four year old Danny was but didn't get what she needed.
And so now I'm giving four year old Siggy what Danny, little Danny needed.
And then like even my kids were afraid of the dark at night and I'm like, the difference
is you guys have your brain work, right?
I didn't have brain work when I was little.
And now I'm like, but have I healed the scared little Danny version, right?
And so now I'm like, I think I'm keeping that alive still a little bit.
So this is what's so cool is when you start to dive into the subconscious and you start
to look at, okay, we were just talking about the difficult child, right?
He was always just being already programmed to believe he was going to be hard.
He was going to be the tough kid.
So then he already knew I'm tough and my subconscious is going to operate from being the kid that
doesn't cooperate and has meltdowns.
That's my ML.
Once again comes to the fact that the brain always wants to confirm what it already knows
to be true.
Yeah.
Knows if you're only listening, I'm doing quote air quotes, right?
Knows to be true.
So if the brain quote unquote knows that you're a difficult kid, then it's going to prove
that to you over and over and over because it's a confirmation bias, right?
I already know this.
I am difficult.
Yep.
I'm a really, really tough, horrible kid and I'm confirming it all the time with my mom,
with my dad, with my teachers, with my grandparents, with my caregivers, anybody that's around
me, right?
Or I am dumb.
So I'm going to continue.
That's also very common because the school system, and I think we've done an episode
about school system already, but we could do a million of them.
Yes.
School system is not set up for divergent brains, neurodivergent brains, which at this
point, neurotypical, what is that?
Never heard of it.
Like nobody is actually neurotypical.
It's a great idea for studying and for research.
I don't think anybody in the world right now is actually neurotypical.
Like we all have something that's different.
I mean, if you have all your reflexes integrated, all your lower brain developed and you have
zero subconscious beliefs that are interfering with you, then you're a robot.
But that doesn't exist because we're humans, right?
Genuinely, I don't think there's one person that can actually say that because also think
about how many new subconscious things come up every day and sometimes you realize, oh
my God, this is a new trigger, whatever.
And so that's the kid that a lot of kids get labeled as dumb or they're not good enough.
And so that's what they're confirming with their life all the time.
And we can have, you've all seen this, right?
Where you have the same exact experience as somebody who's next to you and they perceived
it in such a different way.
Genuinely, that is what it is.
It's your brain confirming what it already quote unquote knows to be true.
And the knowing, not so real, am I right?
You can quote unquote know all these things, but they're not real.
They're just your subconscious beliefs.
They're not always going to be true.
Some of them are.
Most of them, if they're negative, they're not.
And they what we call it like it's your BS, your belief system.
It's your self-fulfilling prophecy of.
And here's what's crazy.
So let's say a reflex gets triggered.
A lower brain part behavior comes online, right?
And so now you're operating from what we call survival mode, a dysregulated nervous system.
And then your confirmation bias to it is see, I knew I am always this person.
Right.
And so once you come out of survival mode and you're not triggered the same way, your
nervous system doesn't dysregulate and get thrown out of whack anymore.
You don't need to go feel like, Oh, I'm overstimulated.
You're just like, Oh, I'm literally sitting in sadness.
I'm literally sitting in anger, but I am not exploding.
I'm not slamming doors.
I'm not flipping people off.
I'm not doing the behaviors associated with my normal nervous system.
So you have to up, you have to completely upset that nervous system and be like, no,
no, no, that's not how I want to operate because I was raised in chaos.
I don't want to be in case anymore.
And you have to effort through that.
And it's and it changes also like for depending on what it's not always the chaos, right?
Like for you, it's a chaos that you're thinking of.
Right.
But it can be something else completely.
It can be like something very passive or feeling bad about yourself or whatever it might be
right for each person.
And I just went to the nutritionist last week and I hadn't like weighed myself in a million
years.
I looked at the number and I was like, okay, normally like a year ago that would have thrown
me into full crisis.
That's a high number.
Okay.
It's high.
But I'm like, listen, whatever.
That's what it is right now.
I'm already here.
I'm working on it.
And I'm, you know, I'm actively pursuing a healthier life than my body.
But I that's exactly it.
I looked at the same trigger that would have actually sent me into a full crisis a year
ago, two years ago.
And I was like, man, okay, well, I got to work on it.
You know, get better.
Yeah.
Your nervous system is now regulated.
And now you can say, I'm not happy with the way this feels, but I don't have to go cry
for five hours.
I don't need to shame myself.
I need to say, ooh, what's coming up for me right now?
What do I want to move forward through?
And I think that has been my biggest change too, is saying, okay, my nervous system now
is regulated.
So now when I get hit with the trigger of, ooh, I didn't like how that felt.
I don't like that feeling.
What am I going to do about it?
And that's where we come in with the reconnects.
And we help you then reframe how do you want to see yourself differently.
So it's like you literally get to put a different lens on and you get to see yourself as X,
Y, and Z.
We're big into, let's first look at the nervous system.
How are you showing up from a brain perspective?
Is there a behavior you're showing that is related to your primitive reflexes, your pawns,
or your midbrain?
Once we rule that out, then we look at the subconscious.
Why are you still showing up in the same space?
And Paloma, okay, this is good.
We have to share this because what's Paloma's favorite hashtag every episode?
Society's expectations.
Every episode, right?
And then I just asked her like two days ago, I was like, have you actually checked yourself
on caring about society's expectations?
And it was like her system was like, I actually care.
Yeah, I was like, I did a reconnect.
And I did a reconnect.
And it was like, but see, that's how this work is.
Right.
So you'll have things show up in your life multiple times.
And until you're ready, like maybe you've been listening to our podcast for a while,
you're like, this sounds fascinating.
This sounds too good to be true.
We get that a lot.
But it's it is so good to be able to feel good.
It is it is not too good to be true.
You do have to effort though.
That's the one caveat.
Absolutely.
But once you start to realize, okay, this has shown up for me so many times and I keep
saying it and I don't even realize I'm saying it.
And then you check with your subconscious of like, okay, there's a reason I kept saying
it over and over is because it actually meant something to me.
That's the biggest thing for me, but also something that I would have not been able
to do 10 years ago or whenever you know what I mean?
Like before I did my brain work, I feel like we strayed a lot from the topic of the behaviors,
but I still think it's been a very good conversation.
Well, it's all connected, though, because the subconscious is all things that are programmed
into us.
Right.
And then we get to take our time to then decide, is that who I am?
So if we're someone who's like, always saying sorry or giving into things or we're, you
know, oh, this is just how I am or the best one these days is the weaponized incompetence
that's coming through.
That's the subconscious.
That's a subconscious just saying, you know what, you've overruled me for so much that
I just can't do it.
And I'm actually going to do it wrong.
So you don't ever actually have to ask me to do it again.
Like there's so many different ways to do it.
That's a learned behavior, too.
Like this is both.
Right?
Right.
So it's the learned behavior of whenever I say I can't do something, it always or I
just procrastinate it, somebody else solves it for me.
So why would I ever try to do anything on my own if somebody's always going to do it
for me?
But then the other hand of it, of the subconscious, right?
Kind of like the brain perspective is you might feel like you're not good enough at
things.
And so you never want to try to do anything because you think you might mess up because
you got that messaging when you were younger of you're a screw up.
You never do anything right.
Whatever it might be for each person.
And that's also what's shaping.
I don't even want to try and that's a lot of people that get scared of like fear of
failure, fear of even fear of success.
Right.
Because what if I mess it up?
Right.
And so that's kind of the subconscious piece for that one.
And I think even and for saying sorry, it's also like similar where the the learned behavior
can be.
I have have been gotten in trouble so much when I was younger that I always had to apologize,
always thought everything was my fault because for whatever reason, a caregiver, an older
sibling, whoever it was, always made everything seem like it was my fault.
I'm always saying sorry, sorry, excuse me, we know whatever.
And on the other hand, the brain, the brain perspective might be my proprioceptive system
is totally dysregulated.
So I am constantly bumping into people and bumping into things.
So I'm used to saying sorry, because usually my fault because I don't know where my personal
bubble is.
I don't know where my body is in space.
So that's the other you know, there's always two sides to it.
And sometimes the combination of both.
Right.
And usually is.
So that's where we love getting to go through this with our members and help them make sense
of like, where is this act?
What is the root?
Right.
Like, what is the actual root that is keeping this alive?
And so we walk you through the process of figuring yourself out.
And this my favorite part now is like, I know exactly where that came from.
And then I can write without feeling it again, and without experiencing the trauma again,
whether it be a big or small trauma, I can now just go, OK, wait, nope, I don't have
to feel it, put my nervous system back into it.
But I can say, actually, I want this lens instead.
This is how I want to see it differently.
And I can shift my perception immediately.
And so now I walk in the space of seeing so many other people who have that going on.
Yes.
We just want to create a world of a safe space for people to say, hey, we're all doing the
best that we can with the tools we have.
And have you tried these tools yet?
These tools change your life because it gets you to a place with not having to think your
way through.
Agreed.
And thinking your way through is what most people are doing.
And we don't even know it.
And that's what most approaches are based on, is going through the cortex and thinking
your way through things, thinking your way through what might have happened when you
were younger, what your triggers are, whatever.
And it's not saying that we're not going to think.
We are thinking.
But you've got to address the subconscious before and the primitive reflexes, the primitive
brain, right?
If not, all that you can do, all the thinking you want.
That second the trigger comes up again, you're going to go back into that fight or flight
mode.
And that what you were just saying earlier about reliving it, that's something that Lisa
Miller talks about in the in the book that we're reading for Book Club.
The Awakened Brain.
Such a good book, The Awakened Brain.
We should plug this into the show notes so people can join.
I mean, there's not that much time yet left to read it.
But if you go on Audible, put it on 1.25, which is what I did.
Just listen to the book.
It's great.
But I feel like she was talking about how when she started training as a psychiatrist,
she was doing her rounds and some hospital in New York.
All the approaches in that time, I think it was like the 80s, were having people relive
the traumas that made them end up where they are.
So these are people that have a lot of psychiatric disorders.
They have addictions, you know, all this stuff.
And all the approaches, all the doctors were saying, OK, now go back.
What happened when you were three years old?
What happened when you were five?
What happened when you were seven?
And she was like, this isn't helping them.
They're just, of course, part of, of course, remembering something that happened to you
is going to help you understand what trauma could have caused and what could have come
after that.
Right.
But why do you have to relive it every single day, every single session that you have with
your psychiatrist?
And so that was a huge thing.
And in her really revolutionizing the current way of looking at spirituality, looking at
the brain, looking at the way that we see trauma and I mean, she's just an amazing inspiration.
We love her.
And I just think that's such a big thing that a lot of a lot of modalities still have.
Right.
Is that going back and reliving and putting your body and your brain back into that, into
that memory, into that traumatic thing that happened to you.
And we've seen so many people notice changes and go back and rewire patterns that were
in their brain, in their body.
It felt like it was hardwired just by doing the brain work, getting rid of it without
having to go back and relive those really, really difficult situations, because everybody's
got something that that, you know, can trigger them again.
100%.
And I think that is where it doesn't have to be so complicated.
It doesn't have to be so hard.
And I think that's what we're all so used to.
Everything is just being such a giant mountain to tackle.
And we give you the smallest doable to start.
And the minute you start our program, we're not talking about subconscious beliefs right
away.
We're talking about do your morrows, making an X and creep, get five minutes of creeping
in a day.
And then, like, as your system starts to regulate, then all of a sudden you can build.
And so you're building.
And so by the time you get to level two, you're like, no, I'm hungry to go deeper.
And this is where our members are like, OK, now what?
Now what?
Right.
And I love because we have our WhatsApp group that's all about accountability and people
are in there just like, oh, my gosh, I had this huge revelation about this is where it
came from.
And then I was able to shift it to this.
Anybody have ideas on how I can shift this?
And so that's where you are in a community where we're supporting you.
We're all speaking the same language.
And it's exciting stuff because things are happening.
Guess what, Puma?
This is a really long episode, but we have to wrap this up.
And I am ready to do the.
Oh, yeah.
It's OK.
So bear with me, y'all.
I'm going to give us the the outing here, the outro, if you will.
And the first thing's first, if you're listening and you want to get started on the program
today, we do have a promo code for you.
It is Brainiac and you can get ten dollars off your first payment of our program.
Remember it's 12 payments of forty seven dollars a month.
And then when you're done paying after the year, you're done, but you still have access.
We are a lifetime brand with lifestyle options to change your life.
So that's where we're at.
This is twenty twenty four where we're like going for more.
Right.
OK, so if you want to find us on social media, you can find us on TikTok at in underscore
the underscore underscore cortex.
I almost had it perfect.
If you want to find us at Instagram, you can find us at in the cortex underscore US.
We also have a Spanish one.
So it's in the cortex underscore ESP that when we're working on.
So if you're a Spanish speaker or you want to send this to your Spanish speaking friends,
that's that one.
Facebook is in the cortex US.
If you want to write us an email, hello at in the cortex dot com.
Our website is w w w dot in the cortex dot com.
And I think I got them all right.
We have a YouTube.
Great.
That was fantastic.
You that's a YouTube channel is in the cortex US as well.
I mean, there we go.
If you just Google, you'll find us.
So I did some much and had some of them pulled up.
Hey, that's neither here nor there.
OK, we are so happy you're here.
Thank you for joining us.
We're going to break down behaviors on our next episode and go deeper, I think, and keep
going.
So stay tuned.
Yes.
Thank you.
Well, let's talk to you again next time.