1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,280 Hi, and welcome to the In The Cortex podcast. 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,280 We are your hosts. 3 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:11,600 I'm Poloma Garcia. 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,640 And I am Dani Perrecone. 5 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:17,240 And we're the founders of In The Cortex, an online community with programs that show 6 00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:21,480 people the tools that they need to change their lives, their brain reorganization, no 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,880 medication, just movement. 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:28,080 When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start 9 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:32,200 to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex. 10 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:36,520 Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life. 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,600 And now on to today's episode. 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:45,360 Hello and welcome back to another episode of In The Cortex podcast. 13 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:50,480 We are really excited to break down this topic because it is jam-packed with science and 14 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:53,560 there's so much to what we're about to talk about. 15 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,320 We're going to put a lot of information, lots of content into the show notes. 16 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,640 So make sure you go to those out. 17 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:06,800 But today, the episode is all about gratitude and how important gratitude is for living 18 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,600 a cortex life. 19 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:13,200 And we're going to talk about how to attain gratitude, how to live in that space of gratitude 20 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,040 and appreciation. 21 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:21,600 According to the Oxford Dictionary, gratitude is the quality of being thankful, readiness 22 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:26,040 to show appreciation for and to return kindness. 23 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:31,400 We're going to talk about that today and how living in your cortex can help you live in 24 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,560 that state in the emotion of gratitude more. 25 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:35,560 Yes. 26 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:41,600 And gratitude has so many benefits for the body, for the mind, for the brain. 27 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:46,040 It helps us produce the positive neurochemicals, right? 28 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:50,680 Dopamine and serotonin and norepinephrine and all these amazing things that are helpful 29 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,720 and positive for our brain. 30 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,560 It helps us feel more connected with others. 31 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:55,760 That kind of makes sense, right? 32 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:56,880 It's pretty natural. 33 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,600 It helps us sleep better because it has to do with the hypothalamus. 34 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,920 When we feel gratitude, we activate the limbic system, which includes hypothalamus, which 35 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,280 has a lot to do with our sleep regulation, our REM cycles. 36 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:13,440 It really is one of those things where you're like, everything about gratitude is good. 37 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,400 And also it makes you feel good at the end of the day, right? 38 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,880 And I think we wanted to talk about this, Danny, because don't you get this? 39 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:24,120 A lot of people are like, we used to make a lot of content about this when we first started. 40 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:29,280 People being like, I can't, how are you going to be sit down and look at all the good things 41 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,280 and be grateful? 42 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,560 This is toxic positivity. 43 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:32,560 This is not fair. 44 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:33,560 I can't do it. 45 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,560 And that's a really valid point. 46 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:40,160 A lot of the people, when they first start out their brain reorganization journey, that's 47 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,160 the way they feel. 48 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,840 They're like, that's what do you mean gratitude? 49 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,040 I'm not grateful for the stuff that's going on with me. 50 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,800 I'm not grateful for all my challenges and all the stuff that's happening. 51 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:54,480 And we understand that because that's usually people that are stuck in survival mode, right? 52 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:59,440 And so that survival mode, what it does is it helps your brain become hyper aware of 53 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:04,760 all the negative because anything that's negative or scary could be a potential threat. 54 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:11,120 And so it's constantly scanning to your environment to see if something's going to be a real threat 55 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,320 or not. 56 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:16,920 And ultimately, if you're in survival mode all the time and your brain is disorganized 57 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:21,880 and so your central nervous system is dysregulated, then that makes it so you're perceiving threats 58 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,040 all the time, right? 59 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:28,200 And so that just being in that state most of the time makes it so you're in fight or 60 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,200 fight all the time. 61 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,080 You're not going into rest and digest as much as you need to. 62 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:36,920 And so getting to the point where you're able to feel grateful and look on the bright side 63 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:43,520 and look at the positive things of even the negative things that happen in life is really, 64 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,000 really, really hard, right? 65 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,000 It is. 66 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,840 That's why we always say you got to start with the brain. 67 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:48,840 Yeah. 68 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:53,480 And I could tell you, I for sure thought that life was a battlefield when I, before I learned 69 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:57,360 about brain and organization and before I even did these movements to help my brain get 70 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:01,400 out of survival mode, I would wake up just thinking like, all right, who's going to cross 71 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:02,400 me today? 72 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,480 Like, what do I have to armor up or right and put up this like protection on myself? 73 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,240 Because I literally thought life was just so hard. 74 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,400 It felt so hard. 75 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:17,200 And then as soon as my brain came out of survival mode and I was able to shift my perception 76 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:21,200 on how I saw the world, I was like, oh, wait, there's actually so many kind people and this 77 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,720 happens all the time. 78 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,000 You're in California now, so you experience this. 79 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,960 Everyone thinks that Californians are just these horrific people. 80 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:32,200 Like honestly, I give so much flack for being a Californian. 81 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,320 And I'm like, and I remember when we traveled the country and everyone's like, watch out 82 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,920 for your California plates when you drive into Idaho, they're going to chew you up and spit 83 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:39,920 you out. 84 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,720 And we didn't experience that. 85 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:46,840 And it's because I felt like my perception on the world was so different. 86 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:50,760 And I'm not saying that I'm like, you know, you know, this like amazing human that like 87 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,280 everyone's like, oh, but, but it was just like I did had a different perception. 88 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:57,840 I met people with kindness and then that was what was reciprocated back. 89 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:03,760 And that's a lot of gratitude is being able to shift your perception. 90 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,360 Feel that state of appreciation. 91 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:10,560 Like I am so appreciative when I go into a restaurant and I have service or whatever 92 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:17,040 it is, and I always set my intention to like set the stage for kind of creating more gratitude 93 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,080 and appreciation coming from that experience. 94 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,920 And then the people will always match it. 95 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,200 And I feel like that's such an important thing. 96 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,600 But if you're the person who walks into a restaurant, you're always like, all right, 97 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:29,960 my food's already going to be bad. 98 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:35,920 Or I am holding up the persona of a Californian who has a negative attitude on life. 99 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,240 That's what people are going to reflect back to you. 100 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:43,600 And I think that's where gratitude is so cool because the more you step into that appreciation, 101 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:52,280 the more you step into being grateful for life itself, you can then shift into a different 102 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:55,200 perspective of what the world and really all this is. 103 00:05:55,200 --> 00:06:00,960 And Paloma and I like to dive into all topics connected to all things. 104 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,680 And we go down rabbit holes, especially when we're researching for a podcast and we start 105 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:10,200 fighting all those different nuggets about, oh, look at what this science says about gratitude. 106 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,080 And then it comes back to like religion and spiritual things. 107 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:18,680 And when you really look at everything, we're all just trying to be connected in one, right? 108 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:23,200 And we're all just trying to remove our egos, which is like the hurt and the wounding that 109 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:27,520 we have to be able to see each other that we're all in this together. 110 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,520 We're all human. 111 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:34,000 We're all having these feelings and emotions and it's all hitting our perceptions differently. 112 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:40,120 And when you come out of survival mode, you're able to actually express empathy and you're 113 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:45,600 able to connect with people on a level that, hey, you're not against me. 114 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,320 I don't have any hard feelings on you. 115 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,960 Like, I can see you're hurt. 116 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,400 I can, you know, I'm hurt. 117 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:54,080 Like let's work on being in a better cohesive relationship. 118 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:59,520 So it's kind of this like moment where, yeah, this time of year, Thanksgiving's coming up 119 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,960 for a lot of people who celebrate that. 120 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:06,040 And it's kind of funny that there's like one day dedicated to like, let's show your gratitude. 121 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:10,960 I mean, we're like, let's work on gratitude year round. 122 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:17,000 And you can't do it until you've really fundamentally shifted your brain to really feel it from a 123 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,000 different way. 124 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,520 And I mean, there's people who can, right? 125 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,960 There's people who, if you, you can, because you can do anything, right? 126 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:23,960 Of course. 127 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:27,200 But it's going to just be a lot easier for your brains out of survival mode. 128 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:32,560 Cause if you're trying to become more for practice, more gratitude and become more grateful 129 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:36,400 in your life and your brain is in survival mode, you're just working way harder than 130 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,560 you need to on that one tiny skill. 131 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,920 And gratitude isn't really a skill. 132 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,840 It's something that is innate in all, in all animals, not just in humans, part of the 133 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:45,840 research we were doing. 134 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,120 And we'll plug that in the show notes, but it really is one of that. 135 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,360 One of the things that keeps us in that oneness, right? 136 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:56,480 That togetherness as a group and something that's also interesting about survival mode 137 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,400 is if you're in survival mode, it's hard for you. 138 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,600 There's part of your brain that wants to keep you separate from the group because you're 139 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,640 only focused on yourself. 140 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:10,240 You're focusing on you and surviving and probably your children if you're a mom or a parent 141 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,720 or a caregiver, right? 142 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:15,360 But it's very much like centered on we need to survive. 143 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:20,040 I need to survive before even thinking of becoming part of whatever that might be. 144 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,440 And if you kind of zoom out, you can see that a lot in a lot of different cultures and a 145 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:28,760 lot of different ways that we interact with other people where we want that connection, 146 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:29,920 but we don't want it, right? 147 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:30,920 And that's just the brain. 148 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,400 This is our own survival brain in any other way, don't you think? 149 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,400 All the time. 150 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,400 It's so funny. 151 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:41,480 And this, and this is where we love to bring everything back to the brain, primitive reflexes 152 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,120 and the subconscious. 153 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,920 And I can tell you for me, I love human connection. 154 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,320 I don't love being alone. 155 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,800 I love alone and me time in bits and pieces. 156 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:57,720 But then when it goes to the extreme or then when I want to go do events and I schedule 157 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,160 myself out for all these fun things and then when the time comes, I'm like, just kidding, 158 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,360 I don't actually want to go anymore. 159 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,360 Oh yeah, it's so really funny. 160 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:08,200 So there's so many brain functions within those moments. 161 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:13,760 And I'm really recognizing my inability or my lack that I used to have of being able 162 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,680 to say no to things and like, hey, let me think about that because I did a lot of fawn 163 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,560 of people pleasing. 164 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:24,200 So this is where this idea of gratitude, it just seems like, oh yeah, it's so easy. 165 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,320 But when we look at it, we're like, it's actually not an easy thing. 166 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,000 It is something that needs to be practiced. 167 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,360 And it is something you have. 168 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,360 It's a muscle you have to work at. 169 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:38,720 And it's so easy to walk into a room and see what's wrong. 170 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:43,440 It's really hard to then shift your mindset and to see what is working for you. 171 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:47,920 And that's a big part of what we bring into our program is helping people shift their 172 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:52,480 mindset as their brain structure is literally shifting and making new connections. 173 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:56,800 Yeah, while acknowledging that not everything is sunny and bright and wonderful, there's 174 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,480 a lot of dark things in the world. 175 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,640 And that's often what helps you see the light more easily, right? 176 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,400 And the good things. 177 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,040 And that's another point. 178 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:09,000 I used to have a really hard time with certain things in the world that I'm like, how does 179 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,280 that happen to certain people? 180 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:12,920 And it would just like hurt my stomach. 181 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:16,320 I'm like, I feel so powerless in the situation. 182 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,200 How do we help this situation going on? 183 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:23,600 And the more that I would enroll into that feeling of being powerless, the more I almost 184 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,680 feel like I fed it. 185 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:29,320 And then I would have to like shift myself into, okay, everyone's got a journey. 186 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:33,600 And then it taps into like, how do you make sense of all these journeys that we're on, 187 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,600 right? 188 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:39,440 And then every single person has the ability to find something, whether they're in the 189 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:43,880 midst of something really yucky, and we've all been in something, obviously there's people 190 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,880 who've been through things that are way worse than others. 191 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:51,480 And the ability to be able to find some sort of silver lining in it to help build upon 192 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:56,200 it is what can help shift your brain structure to then make you more resilient, to make you 193 00:10:56,200 --> 00:11:01,040 be able to overcome adversity and help you live an authentic life. 194 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:05,200 And I think that's what for me, gratitude bulls down to, because you can tell when someone 195 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:10,200 is like truly authentically grateful or when they're just like, you know, when I tell my 196 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,200 kids, say, thank you. 197 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,200 Thank you. 198 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,920 Okay, that was very robotic. 199 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,120 You don't even know what that means. 200 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,120 Like, where's your authenticity? 201 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,120 Yeah. 202 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:24,760 Have you seen that, that TikTok of this kid, they're like recording a Thanksgiving table. 203 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,760 This kid is literally crying, like breaking out. 204 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:30,880 He's like, I just want to think about all the things that I'm grateful for, but he's 205 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,400 bawling and everybody's laughing, but he's so cute. 206 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,120 He's like, like eight years old. 207 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:39,640 And you can tell that he's genuinely overcome with emotion by how thankful he is for everything 208 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:40,960 that he has around him. 209 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,760 And I mean, we don't have to all break down and cry about it. 210 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:44,760 I mean, if you want to, that's great. 211 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,760 It's a good release. 212 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:52,000 But I think also, like, especially in the United States, there's a lot of pressure around 213 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:56,280 that like gratitude thing in Thanksgiving specifically. 214 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,160 And I feel like there's a lot, I remember listening to that with my friends when I was 215 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:03,480 little, because I never really did Thanksgiving when I was growing up because, you know, we're 216 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:04,480 Mexican. 217 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,560 It's more of like a thing that I do when I'm here. 218 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:10,560 And it's, it's not really like part of my culture. 219 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:14,120 But I remember them being like, Oh God, like, yeah, gratitude. 220 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,920 Like, what am I going to be thankful for? 221 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:19,360 Like the dry turkey that my mom's going to cook, you know, blah, blah, blah. 222 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,360 And I'd be like, yeah. 223 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,400 Obviously, you know, you're 14, whatever. 224 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:28,200 But I think that there's a lot of pressure around like actually having to do it. 225 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,880 And I think that's why it is only once a year now that I'm thinking about it. 226 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:35,680 Cause like, okay, let's just boil it down to just one day a year and let's just put it 227 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:36,680 out there. 228 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,240 And then that's it. 229 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,480 You know, then that we got check it off the list and we're done. 230 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:46,240 And I think a lot of other cultures are more about let's practice it all the time, daily. 231 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:49,680 And even certain religions will do that every single day, every, even every time they have 232 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:50,680 a meal, right? 233 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,120 Every time, or the amount of times a day. 234 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,200 I mean, it's a different way of looking at it. 235 00:12:55,200 --> 00:13:01,080 But I think in the United States specifically, it's become kind of like cheesy or like hokey, 236 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,040 you know, to like be, oh, let's be grateful. 237 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,040 Let's be great. 238 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,040 Say thank you. 239 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,440 Like that kind of stuff that you're just saying, it seems like somebody's like telling you 240 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,960 to do it. 241 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:13,720 And it doesn't necessarily, like it can mean all, it can mean so many different things. 242 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,120 It's just an appreciation, right? 243 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:21,480 And I think for a lot of people, it can also mean just acknowledging what's going on around 244 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,120 you and the people that you have around you or the things that you have. 245 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:29,120 It doesn't always have to be this like, oh my gosh, overwhelming gratefulness for whatever 246 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:30,120 it is. 247 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,120 It has different levels and different layers. 248 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,280 And I think that's the one thing that we all have some of it. 249 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,040 So it's about tapping into what, what it means for you. 250 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,200 Does it mean reaching out to somebody and saying thank you for something? 251 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,080 Or does it mean making a little list or just making a note in your mind? 252 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:47,560 Like, oh, that's kind of cool that I have that or that I know this person or that that 253 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,760 experience, that I had that experience or that opportunity, you know, it doesn't always 254 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,400 have to be enveloping. 255 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,400 For sure. 256 00:13:54,400 --> 00:14:00,000 And I think that taps into this hidden brain podcast that we like to share of the reciprocity 257 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,400 that's behind gratitude. 258 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:07,320 And I know before brain work, I used to feel like this massive indebtedness to people if 259 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:11,360 they did something to help me because it came from a space and this is going to tap into 260 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,080 the subconscious beliefs. 261 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,280 I used to think that like no one would just do something kind for me. 262 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:20,520 Like I wasn't worth that kindness to be given to me. 263 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:24,680 And so then I would always have to like immediately match them with something in return and be 264 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,880 like, okay, now we're even like now we're squared up. 265 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:32,200 And now I've been stepping into as I dive deeper into my worth and my value and all 266 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,320 these core feelings inside of me. 267 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,880 I'm like, thank you for thinking of me. 268 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,840 Thank you for acknowledging me. 269 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,640 Thank you for being appreciative of me and helping you. 270 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:46,720 I'm going to accept that and leave it there and then know that I can go return the favor 271 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:47,720 somewhere else. 272 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,920 And so yeah, the paying it forward thing, right? 273 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:50,920 You don't always know. 274 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,320 And that's something that I've seen more and more as I've been able to get out of my lack 275 00:14:54,320 --> 00:15:00,360 mindset is you might not get like say Paloma gave something to me. 276 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,000 I don't have to immediately return it back to Paloma. 277 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,160 I can go pay it forward to someone else and then it'll go back around. 278 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:10,000 And you always will see that when you're able to be in that higher zoomed out perspective 279 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,000 of, 280 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,320 Hey, we're all in this together. 281 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:19,280 And it's funny because that is a lot of what like what religion pushes on is like coming 282 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:26,520 in and being a part of something and but not always needing it to be from another person 283 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,520 like directly. 284 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:28,520 Right. 285 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:33,720 It's a very just give to give because when you give more giving comes to you and you're 286 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,520 like showing that appreciation and it's bringing you up to a higher level. 287 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,520 Yeah, totally. 288 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,240 And once again, that ability to even zoom out. 289 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,240 Yeah, brain. 290 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,240 It's all the brain. 291 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,240 It's all the primitive brain. 292 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,280 If you're stuck in survival mode, there's no way you're going to be able to zoom out 293 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:51,760 or you might be able to do it for five seconds and then you're like back into the into the 294 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:56,520 day to day into the only seeing what's right in front of you directly tunnel vision. 295 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,520 Right. 296 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:01,240 And that's, you know, I love when this like comes kind of like very full cycle. 297 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,240 No. 298 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,240 Yeah. 299 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:04,240 It's always there. 300 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,240 And then that is really a big thing. 301 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:09,840 I know a lot about the subconscious beliefs and how that first seven years of your life 302 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:16,720 really before like before your parents even created you is really putting an imprint on 303 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,880 how you're going to see the world. 304 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:22,360 And that is your perception on the world around you. 305 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:26,160 It's that epigenetics, that ability. 306 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:31,680 Well epigenetics is kind of tied into the subconscious beliefs, but it's literally the 307 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:35,640 expression of your genes without actually changing your DNA. 308 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:42,120 So, so many times people think like, oh, this is just the way I'm always going to be this 309 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,440 way. 310 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:48,760 And then we have a process called a reconnect, which actually helps you shift the way you 311 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:52,800 express your perception on the world. 312 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,000 And it's we were just talking about this in office hours or someone, she's like, I actually 313 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:01,080 like after being with my husband for nine years, she's like, yeah, actually I was like 314 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:06,080 able to go into the reconnect and then focus on all the things that he did that were loving 315 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:10,000 for me and show appreciation and gratitude towards it. 316 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,760 And then I looked at him differently and was like, I actually am falling in love with you 317 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:14,760 again. 318 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,880 Like there's parts of you I haven't seen before. 319 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:17,880 Yes. 320 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,800 And that is directly connected to the ability of having epigenetics because before it was 321 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:27,320 the whole nature versus nurture argument forever stuck in that forever. 322 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,920 And that's what we're always trying to bust is like, no, you are not stuck in who you 323 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,640 are said or whoever someone told you you were going to be. 324 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:35,640 Exactly. 325 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,760 You have the ability to shift out of it. 326 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,440 And that's what epigenetics is. 327 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,640 And there's a lot of people that are showing lots of science behind it. 328 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:47,200 But I mean, even Harvard, we're going to put this really cool infographic in the show. 329 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:52,880 What Harvard University has created about, no, like your epigenetics is such a changing 330 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,680 of your perception on reality. 331 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,440 And we have a really cool process that helps you get there. 332 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:03,040 Another thing that I think would be cool is to share that and we start a journal, a 333 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,200 journaling practice in our program. 334 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,760 It's part of the program. 335 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,600 Most people we recommend do it. 336 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:13,040 Some people don't love journaling and we understand that, but we always recommend that our members 337 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,040 do it. 338 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:18,760 So every module you have journal prompts and in week two, we actually start doing a gratitude 339 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,040 journal specifically. 340 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,240 So you set aside a couple minutes a day. 341 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:27,600 I think we start with just one minute, like just literally set a timer on your phone and 342 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,880 do one minute where you either think about or write down things that you're grateful 343 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:32,880 for. 344 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,360 And here's the kicker. 345 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:38,320 There's actually, one of the things that we plugged in, the, we're going to plug in 346 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:42,440 the show notes, talks about how even one minute is more than enough in the New York 347 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:47,520 Times article, because just that one minute is going to, it's better than nothing. 348 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,040 And it's going to build little by little by little. 349 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:54,000 And you don't have to always be grateful for like the big things in life, right? 350 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,640 We think that it always has to be, and that's kind of what I was trying to say earlier with 351 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:57,640 the Thanksgiving thing. 352 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:01,640 I think I just didn't really bring it home then, but we always think we have to be grateful 353 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,520 for like all like the overarching themes in our lives. 354 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:09,480 And it has to be this like life changing life, altering feeling that really brings you to 355 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,520 a spiritual experience. 356 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,640 No, you can literally be thankful you have Starbucks right here. 357 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,480 Like you can be thankful for the smallest things. 358 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:20,280 I can be thankful that it's raining today because I love rainy days. 359 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,480 I can be thankful that I got to connect with Danny this morning. 360 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,200 I can be thankful that I got a Starbucks coffee this morning. 361 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,240 It can be really the smallest things. 362 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:33,960 Just expressing gratitude toward the small, even the smallest things in your life is still 363 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,460 practicing that muscle. 364 00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:38,600 And then you'll get to the point where sometimes you will feel inspired and you'll be like, 365 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:42,720 Oh my God, you know, the, the amazing people that I have around me, my family, this and 366 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:43,720 that. 367 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:47,000 And that's always something that's great to continue to be grateful for, but it can also 368 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,000 be the smaller things. 369 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,640 So remove that pressure from yourself. 370 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:50,640 Yeah. 371 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,800 If you're trying to start a gratitude practice. 372 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,800 I love that. 373 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,560 And it's something that is. 374 00:19:55,560 --> 00:20:00,320 So I think sometimes some of us have this all or nothing thinking when it comes to a lot 375 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,560 of things and gratitude can be one of them. 376 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:08,120 And I think a lot of us are working towards being coming more grateful and appreciative 377 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:10,160 of our lives and all the things. 378 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:15,000 And I think, you know, sometimes you have a bad day and that's okay. 379 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,760 And sometimes your kids have bad days and that's okay too. 380 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:23,120 And so we have to just again, what is pulling to say, remove society's expectations of 381 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:29,720 being perfect and knowing that being grateful that you have emotions, right? 382 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,000 And being human. 383 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:35,480 And I, I feel like I finally have owned that too of just, I'm grateful that I am an emotional 384 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:40,320 person because it helps me identify more of what's going on within me so I can find the 385 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,040 truest and most authentic version of myself. 386 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,040 Totally. 387 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:49,280 And there's no, I think that's where here in the cortex, we're all about just like living 388 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,640 with more levity and light and fun and just. 389 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,000 Giggle more and just laugh your way through life. 390 00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:01,200 And when you can tap into the appreciation and the gratitude emotion, it helps it and 391 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,200 it's more fun. 392 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,960 Like pull them on a lap for large parts of our meetings. 393 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:12,960 I'm productive, but hey, we are so productive and we're so appreciative of each other because 394 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,800 we get each other's jokes and we're just having a great time, you know? 395 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:21,440 And I mean, just a quick little like appreciation plug because I'm feeling kind of cheesy and 396 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:26,320 corny, but I'm so appreciative of Paloma because she is the into my Yang. 397 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:33,600 And honestly, in the cortex, it has been something for years that we've been wanting 398 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,840 because Paloma was my intern how many years ago, 10 years ago. 399 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:37,840 10 years ago. 400 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:38,920 Yeah, something like that. 401 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,040 And we connected from the minute we met. 402 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,040 Yeah. 403 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,080 Kind of weird to be like, wow, that's crazy. 404 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,080 Yeah. 405 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:50,560 And we connected from the minute we met and then the universe like, you know, we got moved 406 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,560 apart. 407 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:56,040 I had my kids and then we came back together and we created this and it's been now three 408 00:21:56,040 --> 00:22:01,800 years that we've been working on our in the Cortex project together and it's really cool 409 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,880 that we get to help people change their lives. 410 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:09,920 And I am so grateful that I have found my calling that you found your calling. 411 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:14,880 And we keep figuring out more of what our calling is and we totally every day. 412 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:15,880 Yeah. 413 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:19,400 And it's like, yeah, this isn't like an end like, okay, we're done. 414 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:20,400 We're we're done. 415 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:21,400 We don't have to do anymore. 416 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,240 No, we're like, oh, what else can we learn from it? 417 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:29,480 And being appreciative of the adversity to I was literally going to say that. 418 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,640 Okay, that's okay. 419 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:31,640 That's because we're connected. 420 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:32,640 Yeah. 421 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:33,640 Yeah. 422 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,120 I think he's trying to convince me to get a tattoo with her. 423 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:39,680 Where's like, I'm not going to have any tattoos. 424 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:40,680 I got one. 425 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:47,680 I'm not a pain averse, but I was just going to say that because something that we I think 426 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:53,680 practice often, both in our personal and our professional lives is looking at a negative 427 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:59,440 situation or a challenging situation, feeling it first of all, like feel bad about event 428 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:03,800 about it, get it out of you, get those emotions like going, because they're in you for a reason 429 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,960 you got to get them out somehow, right? 430 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,320 Whether you're going to cry, whether you're going to vent about it for 25 minutes, you're 431 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:13,280 just going to creep it out where you're going to do anything that you want to like work out 432 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,360 and you don't go run or just jump around or whatever it is. 433 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:20,640 Get that out, but then come back and look at what are you learning from it? 434 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,720 Because ultimately that's the truth, right? 435 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:29,120 We're learning through the only thing we can do we can control is how we respond to situations, 436 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,680 especially now when we're in a more regulated state. 437 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:35,560 So what we can do, we can't change the situation that's going on. 438 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,880 We can't always control everything, but what we can can control is the way that we look 439 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:39,880 at it. 440 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,640 So looking at, okay, what am I learning from this? 441 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,640 What is this setting up setting me up for? 442 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,320 What could I have done differently? 443 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,840 What can I do differently next time? 444 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:53,800 And I think that's a really cool way of looking at things that are challenging because there's 445 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,560 always a learning opportunity, always, always, always. 446 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:57,560 Right. 447 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:02,040 And if you're stuck in that victim mentality of things are happening to me, why me, why, 448 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:06,360 why, why, you're not going to be able to learn that lesson and then move on to like the next 449 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:10,320 level and like what you're supposed to attain in this lifetime. 450 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:15,480 And I like to look at life as like these levels of attainment and getting to a higher version 451 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,800 of me and being able to achieve more. 452 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,200 And I go, wow, in my 38 years, I've done a lot. 453 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,960 I've achieved a lot and everything that's taken me to here is for a reason. 454 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:25,960 Totally. 455 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,440 And then I get to go practice a lot of patience right now. 456 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:34,000 Like I'm in the time of patience and like knowing and trusting and working on all that. 457 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,320 And I appreciate it. 458 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:39,720 Even though it's easy to be like, I can't believe this is what my life looks like. 459 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:40,720 And I'll go there. 460 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:41,720 I'm human. 461 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,720 And I'll be like, wait, whoa, Danny, stop yourself. 462 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:45,720 Like switch it. 463 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,960 And so it's something that you have to work on. 464 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:53,560 And I was talking about this earlier with the subconscious beliefs in those first seven 465 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:54,560 years of life. 466 00:24:54,560 --> 00:25:00,560 Some people find gratitude way easier to attain, being able to appreciate because maybe their 467 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:07,720 parents were able to nurture them with that mindset of, Hey, let's look at the world this 468 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,080 way with the glass half full. 469 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,720 Maybe you came from parents who are more in the negative space. 470 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,600 And so that's going to be a little bit harder for you to switch it. 471 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:20,320 But the cool part is, is no matter what your starting point is, you have the choice and 472 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:25,040 you have the ability to decide, am I going to look at it this way or am I going to look 473 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,200 at it this way? 474 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,840 I agree, especially when you're in out of that survival mode. 475 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:37,000 And that's ultimately our message is first get out of survival mode and then gratitude 476 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,880 will become so much easier. 477 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,720 But we encourage you to start practicing it every day. 478 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:45,720 I usually will do, and I actually stopped doing this, but I want to start over again. 479 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,000 We used to do like a journal where we would do one page per day. 480 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,000 Remember? 481 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,320 And so just one page sometimes you feel like you can go for five pages and sometimes you 482 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,720 wake up and you're like, cause I would do it first thing in the morning. 483 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:59,120 And sometimes you wake up and you're like, okay, I'm really struggling to fill this page 484 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:00,120 today. 485 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:01,120 Yeah. 486 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:02,120 And it's fine. 487 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:06,040 But even just putting yourself in that mindset in the beginning of the day is similar to like, 488 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,920 and if you do your brain work in the beginning of the day, that's a game changer. 489 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,640 I struggle with the brain work in the beginning of the day. 490 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,640 I'm very honest about that, baby. 491 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:19,120 But hey, I might get there, but when I do do it early, I'm like, okay, this is really 492 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,800 a different vibe for my day. 493 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,520 But anyway, that's kind of our podcast for today. 494 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:29,520 I think we will come up, I think we have a few more podcasts to go in the year. 495 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,720 So we have some more interesting things coming. 496 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:38,520 We have some interesting sales coming up if you're wanting to do that. 497 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,560 We have, you know, just, just check out our social media. 498 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,160 We're not going to be, we're going to be sneaky about it. 499 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,720 We're going to be mysterious about it because that's who we are. 500 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:46,800 That's what we're trying to shoot. 501 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,640 That's our choice today, but check out social media because there's something interesting 502 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,560 coming up in the next month, week or so. 503 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:55,880 And let's do this. 504 00:26:55,880 --> 00:27:03,960 So social media, Instagram in the Cortex underscore us, tick tock in underscore the underscore 505 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,920 Cortex Facebook in the Cortex us. 506 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:13,720 Email, hello, at in the Cortex.com website, www.inthecortex.com. 507 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:18,920 And if you want to sign up today, use promo code Brainiac for $10 off your very first 508 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,160 payment of our program. 509 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:22,160 And that's it. 510 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,160 You're grateful. 511 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:28,760 We are grateful for you listening to this and being here with us. 512 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,800 And please share, subscribe, rate the podcast. 513 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:35,400 The more ratings we get, the more we get recommended to people. 514 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,640 We now heard that we're getting the algorithm is already recommending us to people on Spotify, 515 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,000 which is very exciting. 516 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:46,680 So thank you all of you for being here because it's, it's you that helps us get to that point. 517 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,240 So yeah, thanks. 518 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:49,680 Thank you. 519 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:50,760 And happy Thanksgiving. 520 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:56,200 If you celebrate that, we'll be sending lots of gratitude thoughts out there. 521 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,200 Everybody. 522 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:58,200 Bye. 523 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:05,200 Bye.