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Hi, and welcome to the In the Cortex podcast.

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We are your hosts.

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I'm Paloma Garcia.

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And I am Dani Perrecone.

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And we're the founders of In the Cortex, an online community with programs that show people

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the tools that they need to change their lives through brain reorganization.

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No medication, just movement.

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When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start

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to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex.

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Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life.

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And now on to today's episode.

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Let's listen to today's Cortex moment.

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Hi, I'm Chuck.

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I'm 77 years old.

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Who says old dogs can't learn new tricks?

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I started in the Cortex program about five or six weeks ago.

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I've been doing my creeping and crawling, and I noticed that my demeanor has changed

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quite a bit.

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The other day, my wife was pulling the trailer out of our garage and we ripped off the antenna

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to the TV because we didn't have the garage door open high enough.

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And instead of going crazy, all I did was, oh, we can look at that.

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We'll just fix it up.

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We just came back from a little mini vacation and had a great time.

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And it was just done without any, everything was in the flow.

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There was no issues.

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We had a few problems, but we just handled them.

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So I really recommend in the cortex.

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I can't believe it's really helping me.

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But you know what?

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At my age, anything will help.

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I'm still learning.

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Thanks.

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Bye bye.

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Welcome everybody to the podcast.

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Today we are going to be talking about childhood, the role of childhood in our lives and the

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role of childhood in our subconscious.

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So trigger warning, if this is something that is not super comfortable for you to listen

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or to talk about, please know that we will be talking about nothing too profound, but

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we are going to be talking about different themes that we've seen in our members and

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ourselves and that really just overarching in humanity in childhood.

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So now that we've said that, please take a second.

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When you hear this question, what do you feel when you think of your childhood?

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What comes up for you?

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Dani, what comes up for you?

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Well, the first feeling I get is just like being a little person and just like the world.

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But this is hard because what childhood should be is something different than what it was

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for me.

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Right.

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That's a boy.

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It's a hard one because when most people think of childhood, they're like, oh, whimsical

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imagination and play and fun.

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But when you said what was the feeling, my first feeling was being this small little

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human and scared.

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Wow.

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Which is kind of wild because now that you just say that, I was like, oh, maybe I should

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dive into that a little bit more.

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So we do a lot of childhood stuff here in the cortex.

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And it's funny.

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I've never had that question like that.

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That wasn't really on our list.

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And I was like, hey, look at this.

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New nuggets.

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What about you?

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That's what we're here for.

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And that's, you know, a lot of us do think that, right?

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You look at your childhood, at least for example, you had never thought about in that way.

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I'm more somebody who like rationalizes everything, right?

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You know, very much in my head about things.

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So I like probably have like a narrative, right?

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I mean, I knew I was going to ask the question, so now I'm already thinking about it.

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But if I just responded just like you, I would probably come up with some narrative that

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I have of it, right?

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Because I'm that person and everybody does that in different ways.

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And a lot of us are like, oh, my God, my childhood was amazing.

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It was great.

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I had no like big challenges.

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I had no like difficult things, whatever.

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A major trauma.

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Yeah.

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And then it's like, OK, well, if you had such a great childhood, then why are you still

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recovering from it now?

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But that's not to like, you know, throw any anything at anybody.

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It's just all of us are like nobody.

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We've said this before.

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Nobody leaves childhood unscathed.

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And that's OK, because that's part of what you're here to learn, right?

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That's part of like your journey in this world.

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And if you do look at childhood with with a certain perspective, then you might say,

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OK, well, that childhood was fine, right?

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But that's the perspective that we most most of us have where it's like, OK, did you have

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water, food, shelters, caregivers, right?

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And so if somebody didn't have one of those things, and it's very obvious that their childhood

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was not fun, it was not ideal.

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And they probably had a lot of stuff that happened and that they truly do have to recover

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from.

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But at the same time, we talk about this before we've talked about this before.

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Gabor Mate talks about a lot about this, where capital T trauma and lowercase T trauma

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still cause the same response in your body.

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So it can be something small that happened one day in school when the teacher said something

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like made you feel like you weren't smart, right?

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Or it can be something where your parents maybe made you feel a certain way about your

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body without even knowing.

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And that's still something that's with you in your life.

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Right.

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For example, for me, I might look back and see I had a child full of opportunities.

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I was all over the place.

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It was super great.

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I got to travel so much.

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But then on the other side, I'm like, well, I changed houses probably every four years,

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three years.

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And guess what I'm still doing as an adult?

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Um, um, right.

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So it's like, there's a part of me that part of it is just being a Sagittarius, let's be

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honest.

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But also part of it is some part of my body in my brain don't know how to get really installed

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somewhere and like really just live somewhere and feel like it's home.

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Right.

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And we talk about this stuff all the time, but really quick, going back to Gabor, trauma

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is not what happens to you.

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It's what happens inside of you.

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So for me, when you said, what was childhood like for you?

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What were the feelings that came up?

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Scared was a very under current emotion and feeling I had for a lot of everything because

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my brain was in survival mode.

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I was constantly in a state of fight or flight.

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And we're going to talk about co-regulating a lot today on our episode.

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And I'm going to share that in a minute, but a lot of me was feeding off of my parents.

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And now this is not to say, go out there and tell your parents to do a terrible job, whatever

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it is, because you're doing the best you can as a parent.

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And most parents didn't have access to this information like we do today.

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So it's a different time.

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And there's also a big part of me as we're talking about this.

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I'm like, yeah, what happened inside of me was a lot of angst and anxiety and fear.

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And I was afraid of the dark.

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I was afraid of this.

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And my parents didn't, they were tired.

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They were working.

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They had a lot of things to do.

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I had an older brother that had a lot of challenges.

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So when I came to them with my concerns of being afraid of the dark in their logical

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conscious mind, they're like, it's just the dark.

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It's not a big deal.

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But to tiny Danny, it was so incredibly scary.

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So now when my kids share their fears about whatever, I'm very more connected to where

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they're at and understanding, like, I know what that felt like.

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And this is what I needed as a kid.

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So that's where when you ask these questions and when you ask that, and since we've done

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so much of our emotional work on these things, like I don't have that pit feeling in my stomach

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anymore.

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It's more like, oh, cool.

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I get to go now explore some of this childhood stuff that I didn't even realize.

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Like, why was tiny Danny so scared all the time?

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Oh, it's because she didn't have this.

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And this is what I needed.

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So I can go back now and I can shift that emotional feeling or memory that I had from

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my childhood and give tiny Danny what she needed back then.

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And that's what you do here.

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Yeah.

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And you don't even have to go directly to like a specific memory.

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If you know that there's a theme, you can do a reconnect and just do it.

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Right.

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And you and I do this all the time.

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And it's funny because like, for example, I had a lot of fears when I was little and

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like I was scared of dogs.

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I was also scared of the dark.

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I was scared of like pretty much anything and everything.

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And my parents did the opposite thing.

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So they would hyper protect me.

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So they basically created this bubble around me.

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Right.

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So that obviously feeds into the way that both of us have operated in our whole lives.

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And just really quickly, let's go back to talk about, of course, in the first year of

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life, you're doing these movements, right, to get your brain prepared, to get your primitive

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brain developed enough so it's able to do all of these automatic functions.

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So you're free to focus on learning, on playing, on being a kid, like you said, whimsical,

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happy childhood, which is the ideal that honestly nobody actually has that.

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But that's OK.

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We can still keep that idea out there because it's nice.

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But you know, and when you're doing these movements, you're really getting your brain

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to understand what really is a threat and what is not.

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Right.

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Because in that first year, sometimes two years of life is, first of all, everything

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is new.

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And through movement, your body's understanding itself and your brain is understanding that

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connection with the body, and so you're able to process things that are going on around

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you after that in a more logical way, because that's when you start to have access, when

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you stand up, when you start to talk, when you start to really understand different concepts.

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A lot of us have seen this with younger kids, right, when they get to the point where they

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start to have more complex thoughts and start to understand ideas.

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That's where they're really forming their belief system.

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And so honestly, it starts even before that, right.

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This whole belief system, all of the subconscious stuff starts from the time we're in the uterus,

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potentially even before that, because of epigenetics, right.

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And so that's what we want to talk about today is a subconscious part that is coming online

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in that, that is online, I should say, from zero to seven years old, is because our brain

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is in theta state.

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And so this is a lot of what Dr. Bruce Lipton talks about is that part of your brain where

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you're in that down of your life, where your brain is in that download state, and it's

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able to kind of process everything on a subconscious and conscious level, right.

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So you have access to your subconscious throughout those entire seven years of life.

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And so that's why that happens, because in those seven years of life, children are learning

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about the world there.

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Of course, they're learning practical skills, right.

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They're learning how to eat, they're learning how to walk, how to talk, how to interact

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with friends.

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They're also learning what is this world?

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What is life?

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Who am I?

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What are the things that matter?

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What is my perspective on all of these things?

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Because like we've talked about before, reality is never going to be objective.

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It is seen through each person's lens.

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And this is the lens that's being created, right.

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This is when the lens is being created, is in those first seven years of life.

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And the way that we learn those things is through our experiences, through our caregivers,

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through different people that are around us and through messages that we receive that,

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like we said earlier, it can be something huge, right.

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Like parents talking a lot about, we always use the example of money because everybody

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understands this relationship.

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Parents talking a lot about money and saying, oh, we don't have money, we don't have money,

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we don't have money.

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So you're going to grow up with that belief that, oh, it's really hard to have money.

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Or you can be the opposite, right, where your parents are actually giving you a really great

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message and a great relationship with money.

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Usually this is without wanting to, by the way, you can try and Danny, you could talk

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about this, like you can try all the time to give the most positive messaging to your

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children.

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You honestly never know what they're picking up.

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But yeah, and it also can be something really small.

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Like we said, like one comment that a teacher made once and it gets just stuck in your mind,

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right, in your subconscious.

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And so that's why it's a really important thing to look at childhood, not just as this

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idyllic moment where it's magical and children are just playing and blah, blah, blah, because

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it's actually a really important piece of the way that we're shaping these kids.

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Right.

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And so it's important to keep that in mind and also not put too much pressure on ourselves.

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And I know that that might seem like it's contradictory, but we're going to talk about

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that today.

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Right.

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It's really not because you can't, you can't be perfect and you can't shield your kids

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from everything like my parents tried to know because then you turn into that hyper vigilant,

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scared of everything person.

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And here's the thing I for a moment, as I started learning more about this and becoming

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more conscious and realizing like, oops, I just said that to my kid, whoopsie doodles,

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that's going to go into their subconscious and that's not coming out.

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Now they have that lens on the world.

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But now I'm in the space of I'm not perfect.

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I am imperfectly perfect.

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And that is the biggest part about what we share here in the cortex is that you're going

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to continue through life.

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You're going to have moments that happen to you and it's your decision on how you come

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out of it.

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How do you grow from it?

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And that's the part where we now take in the reconnects like Paloma mentioned, where you

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can now change how you're seeing whatever situation happened.

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And we're not trying to say here that we're curing anything.

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We're not saying here that you can just erase all the trauma and you don't have to feel

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anything ever again.

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We're helping you just diffuse it and turn and distill that emotion into something that's

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more manageable so you can now move through life and not let that experience keep stopping

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you.

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And that happens with so many of us.

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We have what we say is an ideal childhood.

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Oh, my parents took me here.

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We traveled.

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We went on vacations.

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Oh, I had this.

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I did this.

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I had a great childhood.

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And then when you really start to boil it down, you're like, wait, but my parents didn't

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give me this experience of showing me nurture and love.

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And they didn't hear my feelings as they came up.

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And that made me feel this.

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And so then it stops you throughout the rest of your life.

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And this is what we're trying to share for one, parents who are soon to be parents are

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parents now or you're an adult and now you're working through your childhood traumas and

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things that have happened.

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It doesn't matter what stage you are in this, your childhood has such an important bearing

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on the rest of your life.

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So talking about co-regulation, and this is something I am so passionate about right now

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because I did not grow up with parents who helped me regulate.

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Co-regulation is so a nervous system co-regulation is the dynamic and interactive process by

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which two or more people often in close relationships such as caregivers and infants or intimate

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partners, they synchronize their physiological and emotional states.

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It's primarily mediated through autonomic nervous system, the ANS, which is in charge

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of our automatic functions like heart rate, respiration and digestion.

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In co-regulation, we unconsciously exchange emotional and physiological signals, which

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leads to a mutual influence on each other's states of arousal, relaxation and emotional

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well-being.

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So this is such an important part of just everyone working together and everyone can

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feel this.

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You know that person who walks into the room completely disheveled, chaotic and frantic,

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everyone feels that like, dogs and kids are so good at feeling that energy.

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Like dogs will run away, kids will be like, get away from me, you know, we can feel that

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energy immediately.

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When I was growing up, I could feel my system constantly dysregulated because I didn't have

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the foundation in place of doing the brain work.

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And so anytime I started to get dysregulated, it would trigger my parents to dysregulate

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and they would just be chaos.

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And then it turns out that's what my baseline was.

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I craved chaos.

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So I would go seek it in every environment I was in.

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Because that's all you knew.

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I picked fights.

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I always was in the drama.

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I always just like that was what my baseline was because your nervous system will crave

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the chaotic known versus the calm unknown.

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We do have a four year old in the background right now, so you might hear some noises here.

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So my the new thing here is me working on me as a parent, calming my nervous system,

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making sure I'm regulated, and then I can just effortlessly just be there for my kids,

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support them through childhood and then see them for, hey, you're four, you're seven,

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you're not supposed to have it all figured out yet.

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That's the whole point of childhood, right?

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Childhood's really this amazing foundation for the rest of your life.

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So let's treat it like that.

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Let's start putting into our kids what we want them to have for the rest of their lives.

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But we can't do that if we're dysregulated as adults.

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It's impossible.

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I've really done it for years.

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And then I just decided to really commit to organizing my brain every single day and was

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like, oh my gosh, this was the ticket that I needed to be that calm, co-regulated parent.

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So it's a big job.

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It's 100% doable.

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It's something that I had brain work under my belt for so many years.

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And then once we brought in the reconnect process and looking at the subconscious beliefs

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and looking at what was stopping us, that's when everything really shifted.

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And I want to highlight today that when I'm with other parents, because this is very much

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my reality, my four-year-old, my seven-year-old, we're out with other parents all the time.

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And this is not to shame anybody.

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But we oftentimes, everyone knows this to you, we put our stuff on social media to make

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it look like life is perfect.

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And then you know when you know what's going on behind closed doors, because you know that

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family are like, wow, you're making your life look so easy.

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And I think that's, again, coping mechanisms, right?

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I was just going to say that.

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We pretend everything's fine.

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I'm totally hanging on.

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And you're like, but I know you're not.

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So let's normalize talking about not being fine.

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Let's normalize saying, hey, I am feeling some challenges right now.

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And then, you know, Pullam and I, we probably turn a lot of people away.

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We're like, hey, we got strategies for you.

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Not everybody wants to do the strategies to work through them.

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But we're telling you they're so incredibly doable and easy to do.

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And I was just talking, I had a call with somebody about this yesterday where they were

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saying this is so cool that you do the primitive reflex integration, the brain reorganization

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for adults too, because a lot of people focus on the kids.

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And that's another thing, right?

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And I keep coming back to this, but it's just the society's expectations of people.

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You know, that's what we have to do.

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And that's how we live in this world, and the expectations are so high that if you're

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not able to do it naturally, then your brain is just trying to figure out how to do it

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all the time.

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And it's hard.

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And a lot of us don't understand what our coping mechanisms are.

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So once you're able to start doing this and you stop doing your, by this, I mean brainwork,

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when you stop needing your coping mechanisms and you're like, whoa, I have so much more

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time and so much more energy to be myself and to do the things that I want to do.

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And of course, this is something that we're talking about people who are ready to come

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in and do their brain work.

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And you know, you can do it at home, you can do it anywhere.

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But if you're somebody who's just listening to this and is just like, oh, okay, that's

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interesting.

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That's great.

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Take that little seed, it will grow.

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And we've had people, a lot of our members are people who have followed us on social

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media for years.

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And then one day something clicks and they're like, yep.

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I'm ready to sign up.

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Oh my gosh.

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And I want to share.

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So I feel like when I read a lot of self-development books, when I listen to people talk about

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all these theories and things that are, and you're just like nodding your head, you're

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like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get, I'm with you, I'm with you.

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Now what do I do about it?

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Right.

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And so we always come back to, we'll obviously do our program because we're obsessed with

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it.

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Obviously.

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But I want to share just like a real practical approach of how I've handled working with

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my seven year old because he is experiencing a lot of things that I know he came in to

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help teach me on how do I help work on this?

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And then I can help other people and guide other people with this.

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I know that my, you know, our children come to us for a reason, right?

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And we have these relationships for a reason.

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And my son is one of the most tender loving children in the entire world.

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He is so sweet, so caring, so energetic, like energetic, like feeling wise.

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So he can feel people's energies very deeply.

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And when I had him, I was pregnant with him.

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So this is where we say this goes before you have kids really sink in with what went on

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in your childhood.

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How did you feel about life?

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What were your expectations that were put on you?

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And so for me, when I was pregnant, I was also doing brain work sessions and people

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would always be like, oh my gosh, your baby is going to be a superhuman.

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Because remember, they were bringing their kids to me, I was helping their kids get their

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brain organized.

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And so they're like, well, if you know all this, your child's going to be set for life.

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You're not going to have any challenges.

400
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Well guess what?

401
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I took those ideas and thought to myself, you're right.

402
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Mission accepted.

403
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Childhood, his childhood will be absolute perfection.

404
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I'm not going to mess anything up.

405
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And then you laugh because it's literally impossible.

406
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Like I said, you cannot come out on the skate.

407
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So I did an emotional work session and I remember saying, I'm so scared to bring this child

408
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into the world because everything is so dangerous and toxic.

409
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But remember, think back to little Danny, she was scared of the world too.

410
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So look what I just did.

411
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I took what I was feeling and I put it onto my son.

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And this is what happens with the beliefs that we're talking about is whatever your

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caregivers are giving you, you don't know what to make sense of.

414
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That's your lens on the world.

415
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You pass it down to your kids.

416
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So we're here to break the cycle.

417
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So anyways, my attachment with my child was very strained because I was focused on pumping.

418
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I mean, I did baby care, baby wearing, we co-slept, we did all the things, but I still

419
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had this stress within me that was terrified of messing up.

420
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So I was so attached to an unrealistic expectation.

421
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And now Axel has some separation anxiety.

422
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I wonder where that came from.

423
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So now what we're working on is just him building that confidence.

424
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And there's a lot of times where I would have to check myself.

425
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And this is why our program is designed that parents do it first.

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Then they get to a certain position where their brains are now regulated.

427
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Now we bring our kids on board and now we're regulating together in a really cortex way.

428
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And now we're starting to go through all the reconnects in the subconscious.

429
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So now Axel is rebuilding his foundation of what he needs to take on the world.

430
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And we just had conversations yesterday of like, he's practicing to play goalie for

431
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soccer and he's scared of the ball.

432
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So it's a little bit of a challenge to be scared of the ball.

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And we're kicking the ball at him and he takes it personal.

434
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He's like, you're kicking it purposely hard.

435
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We're like, no, we're just preparing you for life.

436
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:34,400
And that's really the metaphor for life where things are going to come flying at you.

437
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How do you respond?

438
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And so we're just constantly helping Axel understand how to be prepared for this world.

439
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How do we help him become independent?

440
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How do we help him step into his power?

441
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So once we've done the brain work, now we're doing the reconnects and we're setting him

442
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up.

443
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And the coolest part at seven years old is when he feels that connection come online

444
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and he looks at me and he's like, mom, my brain works.

445
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Mom, I just did that reconnect.

446
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And so he can feel it and he is now able to walk himself through a lot of things.

447
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And yeah, I mean, he's still a seven year old kid who's like, mom, do I have to do my

448
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brain work because it does have times that it's not.

449
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,240
It's kind of how we feel about going to the gym and working out.

450
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It's like, oh, I don't really want to go.

451
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But then afterwards, you're like, I'm glad I went and I'm glad I did it.

452
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It's the same thing with brain work and same thing with reconnects is after you do it,

453
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you're like, oh, I'm so glad I kept pushing myself through this.

454
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And I can now see the growth in him.

455
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And now I'm telling parents, yeah, he might be behind on school and where we were, but

456
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:37,440
you have no idea how far we've come in his emotional well-being.

457
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:42,960
And that to me takes precedence over everything because that's going to be his driver for

458
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the rest of his life.

459
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,360
Learning is for life, right?

460
00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:47,360
Yeah.

461
00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:48,360
Yeah.

462
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,360
And that's childhood, baby.

463
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,800
But that's the thing.

464
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I have tools.

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So I don't have, and I can tell you his teacher telling me a week ago, oh, he's really behind

466
00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,560
on reading.

467
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,640
Had I not regulated my nervous system, had I not done the reconnects on me, I would have

468
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,640
been devastated and in tears.

469
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,640
And now I can handle it like, yeah, whatever.

470
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,160
It's just a grade level.

471
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,720
What does that even really mean?

472
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,520
Again, it's subjective.

473
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:17,000
Like do you walk around at 35 years old telling people what grade you're in?

474
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,000
No.

475
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,880
I'm 35 and I hang out with 47, 50, 70 year olds.

476
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,960
None of it actually really matters.

477
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:30,560
So it's like, the more we look at what society has created, the more we can see how many

478
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:36,000
things are not working and what we need to do to shift them fundamentally.

479
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:41,560
And that's where when you can ultimately not care what everybody else is doing and only

480
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:45,960
focus on you and do what feels good for you, your world will change.

481
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,880
And these tools do that for you.

482
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:48,880
Exactly.

483
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:53,000
I think that also, like you just said about the reading, for example, somebody who's listening

484
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,960
to this podcast is like, oh my God, what am I giving?

485
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,480
What messages am I giving to my child?

486
00:24:58,480 --> 00:24:59,480
How can I fix them?

487
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:00,960
How can I make it perfect?

488
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:05,320
That's exactly your cue to know you got to get yourself regulated first.

489
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:11,880
You got to start there because if not, the feeling that you just had about these subconscious

490
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,880
beliefs or the feeling that you might have about the creeping and the crawling that happens

491
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:19,800
just all the time on social media where people misinterpret what we're saying and they think

492
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:25,160
that we're blaming people or that we're scaring, we're like fear mongering where it's the opposite.

493
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,080
We're saying there's so much time, dude.

494
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:32,200
If your baby didn't crawl enough, I'm crawling at 33 years old, you're crawling at 30.

495
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,840
Our parents are crawling and they're in their 60s and 70s.

496
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,560
Like there's more than enough time.

497
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:41,320
But it is that the way that your brain is looking at things and processing information

498
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:45,480
has to do with your dysregulation and with your subconscious beliefs.

499
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:51,800
So I can tell you a lot of the people who see that and interpret it that way as, oh,

500
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:56,760
you're trying to scare me for my baby walking earlier or something like that or shame me

501
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:57,880
or whatever.

502
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,240
I can tell you that they probably grew up with a lot of shame and with a lot of things

503
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:02,280
in their childhood.

504
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:09,640
So that's another reason we've worked on this stuff so much because we got a storm of comments

505
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,320
on TikTok at some point.

506
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,120
It was gnarly.

507
00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:17,680
I feel like we take like a two or three day break where we were just like, I can't do

508
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:18,680
anything.

509
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:19,680
I was freaking out.

510
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,680
You were freaking out.

511
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:24,480
We were like crying, questioning who we were, like what's going on?

512
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:29,680
Because it was literally millions of people giving us these horrible comments.

513
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,320
And then on the other side, there were millions who were like, this is amazing.

514
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:33,320
So cool.

515
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:34,320
Just signed up for your program.

516
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,320
This is great.

517
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,320
Thanks for sharing.

518
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:37,320
Right.

519
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:41,200
But of course, even our more regulated brains are going to focus on the negative piece.

520
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,880
And so we had to go and look at our subconscious beliefs and be like, okay, there's part of

521
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:50,720
me that still feels like I'm under attack or part of me that still doesn't feel worthy.

522
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:54,600
Part of me that still doesn't feel that I am the authority that I am.

523
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,520
And that's a lot of the what's that called?

524
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:58,520
Imposter syndrome.

525
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,440
Imposter syndrome that a lot of people grew up with, especially women.

526
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:02,440
Right.

527
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:03,440
And that's very common.

528
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,760
So you and I went into that.

529
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:08,320
Now we're able to see these comments and be like, oh, they just didn't.

530
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:12,960
They misinterpret it and we'll respond in a funny way or sometimes we won't even respond.

531
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:18,520
And then just like that, so many more people start to understand these things because they

532
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:19,760
start to look at it different.

533
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,320
And so it's really cool.

534
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,960
And so if you're somebody who's listening to this podcast right now and you're going

535
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:29,760
into that fear moment, take a second to check in with your body and take a second to take

536
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,040
a deep breath and really understand.

537
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:35,800
I mean, I'm not a parent and I think of what Danny says and I'm like, whoa, that's a lot.

538
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:36,800
Right.

539
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:37,800
So that's me, right.

540
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:42,140
Kind of going to having to look at my subconscious belief before I even think about having kids.

541
00:27:42,140 --> 00:27:45,380
But that's also the moment where you say, okay, now I'm here.

542
00:27:45,380 --> 00:27:46,800
Now I know this.

543
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:47,940
What am I going to do about it?

544
00:27:47,940 --> 00:27:48,940
The answer.

545
00:27:48,940 --> 00:27:49,940
Yeah.

546
00:27:49,940 --> 00:27:53,500
And the answer is you have so there's so many different things you can do and you're never

547
00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:54,500
done.

548
00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:59,920
So even if Paloma tried to do all the subconscious belief programming to get herself set to be

549
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:05,760
the ideal parent, she's still not going to be enough of like having that completely done.

550
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,880
The difference is the feeling inside of her.

551
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,900
And we talked about that on our last podcast was what happened to that woman when the baby

552
00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:13,900
was crying.

553
00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:14,900
She became dysregulated.

554
00:28:14,900 --> 00:28:19,800
Imagine a world where you can stay regulated and calm for your baby and let them know they're

555
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:20,800
safe.

556
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,640
And we talk about this so much.

557
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:28,000
And it's so important because if you are able to keep yourself calm, think about how incredible

558
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:31,920
that will feel when you can start to listen to your intuition and not care about what

559
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,040
society is telling you to do and you do you.

560
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:39,600
Holy cow, your doors open, your options open up, everything changes.

561
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,120
And you're just like, okay, life is not nearly as hard as I thought it was.

562
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,560
And now I actually get to enjoy why I'm here.

563
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,840
Why are we all actually here?

564
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:52,600
If you want to get deep with the existential crisis, comment or questions, it's like, why

565
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:53,600
are we all here?

566
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,280
Is it to put up our life on social media that everything's fine?

567
00:28:56,280 --> 00:29:01,800
No, we're here to have a human experience where we feel emotions and we learn and we

568
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:06,320
grow and we keep finding the best and most authentic version of ourselves.

569
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,660
And I'll be honest, not everyone's ready for that journey.

570
00:29:08,660 --> 00:29:09,840
And that's okay.

571
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,720
We hope we weren't ready for a long time.

572
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:12,800
It takes time.

573
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,240
It takes years.

574
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:18,200
And now we have this amazing core member group that we all get on these office hour calls

575
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,520
and we have some of the greatest conversations.

576
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:26,600
And it's really about we keep holding that vision in space and more people wanting to

577
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,200
know that there's something you can do about the way you're living.

578
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,520
If you're not happy right now, there's something you can do about it.

579
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,900
And it takes less than 20 minutes a day.

580
00:29:33,900 --> 00:29:38,000
And I know that sounds like such a sales approach, but we're so passionate about.

581
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:43,440
Listen, I'm going to end the podcast on this note and you're going to crack up.

582
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:44,440
But hey, YOLO.

583
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:45,440
OK, yes.

584
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:46,440
Twenty twenty three.

585
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:47,440
I just said YOLO.

586
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:48,440
YOLO.

587
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:49,680
You only live once.

588
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:56,560
So take charge now because it's going to go away sooner than we know.

589
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,040
And yeah, YOLO is one thing.

590
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,680
And also now you're probably thinking, OK, cool, what do I do about it?

591
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:06,680
So tune in for our next episode because we're going to talk about the strategy that we recommend

592
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:10,800
for those moments in parenting that can be a little bit tougher and how to approach it

593
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:15,240
from a more cortex space and truly give your kids what they actually need in that moment.

594
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:20,200
OK, let's do this.

595
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:26,120
Follow us on Instagram in the cortex underscore US follows on Tick Tock in underscore the

596
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,060
underscore cortex.

597
00:30:28,060 --> 00:30:29,060
And guess what?

598
00:30:29,060 --> 00:30:31,960
Facebook in the cortex, you want to send us an email.

599
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:32,960
Hello.

600
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:33,960
It in the cortex.com.

601
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:37,200
You can check our website in the cortex dot com.

602
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,960
And because we love you, we have a promo code for you.

603
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:47,000
It is promo code Brainiac to get 10 bucks off your very first payment of our program.

604
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,580
We are so happy you're here.

605
00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:51,860
Please continue to send us questions and reach out on social media.

606
00:30:51,860 --> 00:30:55,720
We have gotten so much inspiration from you all from social media and all your questions

607
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:56,720
and requests.

608
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,460
So please keep sending them our way.

609
00:30:58,460 --> 00:31:00,460
And we love you.

610
00:31:00,460 --> 00:31:01,460
Thank you.

611
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:07,760
Yeah, thank you.