1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,760 Hi and welcome to the in the cortex podcast. We are your hosts. I'm Paloma Garcia and I 2 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:17,040 am Danny Pericone and we're the founders of in the cortex, an online community with programs 3 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:21,520 that show people the tools that they need to change their lives, their brain reorganization, 4 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:26,440 no medication, just movement. When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate 5 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:31,560 your nervous system, you start to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex. 6 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:38,080 Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life. And now on to today's episode. 7 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:42,360 Let's start out with a quick cortex moment from one of our members. 8 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:48,960 Hi, my name is Sam. I'm a dad of two teenagers. Recently went through a pretty gnarly divorce 9 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:58,520 and found this program at the, I don't know, I'd say midpoint of the divorce. And wow, what 10 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:05,400 a life changer. I've recognized a lot of different changes in my life and my two teenage daughters 11 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:13,480 have noticed those changes as well. One of them is becoming a little bit calmer, just working 12 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:19,880 through things instead of, you know, snapping. It's just getting down to their level and 13 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:24,360 saying, Hey, how do we work through this? Or how come we're not doing this instead of 14 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:28,720 go clean your room? It just comes across a lot better. And they respect you differently, 15 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:33,440 especially when they're teenagers. You really need that, you know, to be able to get through 16 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:37,640 your hard days. I've also noticed that I've become a little bit more compassionate, being 17 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:43,720 able to see things differently, see my girls differently, see my fiance differently. And 18 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:48,480 just, you know, from a male's perspective, sometimes compassion isn't where you think 19 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:54,120 it is. And, you know, I'm much more aware of that. And communication, well, lots of different 20 00:01:54,120 --> 00:02:00,120 things there. One thing I used to do is just walk right into their rooms and, you know, 21 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,800 what are you doing, checking up on them because their doors were shut. Now I knock on the 22 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:08,520 door real calmly instead of knock on it real loudly. Just knock on it, count backwards 23 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:13,680 from five and, but that's changed how our relationship is, is me seeing and hearing 24 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:18,840 them on what they're feeling. And I never really was aware of what other people would 25 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:24,160 feel in some cases of life. And I'm sure we could all relate to that. And it's just amazing 26 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:29,880 what this program has done for me. So I just want to say, you know, the ITC program is 27 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:36,200 fantastic. It just changes a lot of things. And it's changed so much in my life in the 28 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:40,200 short period of time of doing it that now my two teenage daughters just started doing 29 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,400 the program too, because they want to see some better changes in their lives. 30 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:49,360 All right. Welcome back to another episode of our podcast. Today we're talking all about 31 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:55,360 putting the spotlight on parents and why that is so important. And this is not to shame 32 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,680 anyone. We always want to start with that disclaimer. This is not about judging or shaming. 33 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:04,440 It's really about us giving our take on parenting from a brain perspective. And it's such an 34 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:08,880 important piece that Paloma and I feel like we're screaming from the rooftops that everyone 35 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:13,720 needs to get really on the floor and start working on their brains and regulating their 36 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:18,640 nervous systems, because we have so many parents that come to us that tell us, Hey, can you 37 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:24,120 please fix my child? They're experiencing this, this, and this. We've tried everything. 38 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:28,480 We've tried timeouts. We've tried motivation boards. We've tried mainstream therapy. We've 39 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:32,840 tried parenting courses. We've tried drop off programs. We're now medicating. And we're 40 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:37,440 not saying that any of that's inherently bad or not a great route to go. We just want to 41 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:42,120 share that there's something that needs to happen before you really get into that. And 42 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:47,400 that's where we talk about our approach, which is really a bottom up approach. And we're 43 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:51,640 going to share some more stuff in another episode on how you can really address that, 44 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:56,120 giving strategies and tips on how to approach parenting with the brain in mind. But today 45 00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:01,480 is really starting with parents and putting that as the forefront of today's conversation. 46 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:07,000 And we're all about the bottom up approach with you and with your kids. And because the 47 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:11,640 neurological piece is so important, right? We look a lot at behaviors. We look a lot 48 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:16,440 at the way that we interact with others. Maybe we look at academics, speech, whatever it 49 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:21,440 might be. And we don't often look at what's going on underneath that, right? We look a 50 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:26,080 lot at the symptoms and not as much at the roots. And so that's why I add in the cortex 51 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:32,920 we help people get their brain where it needs to be neurologically, right? So if their primitive 52 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:37,120 brain is underdeveloped, that means that the nervous system is going to be dysregulated. 53 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:41,480 And so all of the approaches that Danny was mentioning before, that's why they're not 54 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:47,760 working is because at the core, the brain is still in that survival mode, in that nervous 55 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:52,140 system dysregulation, right? And so you might try all the different things that are top 56 00:04:52,140 --> 00:04:58,440 down. And that's the reason they're not working because at a certain level, the brain is always 57 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:03,120 only thinking about survival. And so you might be able to operate sometimes a little bit 58 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:07,360 better than others. And that's why I'm sure a lot of you have heard the term scattered 59 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,800 efforts, right? Where sometimes things are really, really easy and you're like, okay, 60 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:16,120 cool, I'm in the flow. And sometimes you're like, why is everything so hard? And I mean, 61 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,320 we've all been there, right? And it always depends on what's going on in your life. Do 62 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:23,040 you have stressors? Are you feeling sick? Did you eat, right? There's so many different 63 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:28,280 things that can come up at the end of the day. The true way to actually make sure that 64 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:33,160 you're consistently able to process the way of the world around you from a logical perspective 65 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:38,600 is to give your brain that neurological support that it needs. And here's the thing, we're 66 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:44,640 really out of touch. I'm not a parent yet. Danny's a parent in our duo. And but we're 67 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:48,160 really out of touch in the way that we're asking kids to do things that a lot of the 68 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:52,520 time adults can't even do. Like how many times have we had that moment? I was just talking 69 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:57,920 about this with somebody on a call, that moment where you're like, sit down, calm down, stop 70 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,200 screaming, put on your shoes and get in the car. And the kids like, okay, sure, but you're 71 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:06,680 screaming and doing all the things you're telling me not to do. And I think every parent 72 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:10,160 has been there, right? I mean, I've seen it time and time again. I used to see it with 73 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:14,040 my mom. I've seen it with all the parents that I've worked with. And once again, we're not 74 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:20,000 blaming the parent. It's only happening because the dysregulated nervous system, the survival 75 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:24,680 brain, all the retained primitive reflexes, all the neurological stuff that we talk about, 76 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:30,260 it doesn't just happen in kids. If it happens in a kid, it's going to transfer into it adolescents 77 00:06:30,260 --> 00:06:34,680 and adulthood, right? A kid with a disorganized brain becomes an adult with a disorganized 78 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:39,840 brain. And so that's why we want to really look at that today, right? Is, is first of 79 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:45,080 all changing those expectations. And second of all, changing the focus because the parent 80 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:50,000 is the one that's setting that stage for the kid. And I don't know if you've heard of nervous 81 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:55,120 system co-regulation, but that's the way that you or your nervous system starts to regulate 82 00:06:55,120 --> 00:07:00,520 according to other nervous systems around you. And I know that sounds kind of strange, 83 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:04,160 but if you think about it, we are animals at the end of the day. That's why animals, 84 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:08,480 mammals, a lot of them travel in packs. That's why, you know, we are meant to be together 85 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:13,280 and be in a society and we do feed off of each other signals unconsciously, right? That's 86 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:17,360 our neuroception. That's our entire reception telling us what's going on inside of our body. 87 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,880 And that's stuff we're going to talk about in a different episode, but all of this is 88 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:27,360 to say that at a base level, we are created to regulate with each other. And so that's 89 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:31,440 why we say, okay, look at the parent first and then you can set the expectation for the 90 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:36,760 child because once again, you're asking your kid to listen the first time. And when's the 91 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:40,280 last time you actually listened the first time to something? Like, let's be honest, a 92 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:46,360 lot of us need 17,000 reminders to do one thing, right? So it's also about understanding 93 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:52,920 that kids are kids for a reason. And I do believe that in nowadays, like we really do have this, 94 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,920 this idea that kids have to act a certain way and be a certain way. And, you know, you've 95 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,840 got to sit up straight and listen to the teacher. And I think we talk about this every episode, 96 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:06,600 but it's true, right? Because it's not always neurologically possible for kids to do that. 97 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:11,280 And so we have these expectations that they're not meeting. And so it becomes a cycle, right? 98 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,360 So they're not meeting the expectation. And so they have to figure out compensations and 99 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,560 then the behaviors are going to come out and then they're going to get in trouble. And then 100 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,320 it's going to go way back to the beginning, right? So you start over again with the whole 101 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:26,720 cycle and it always has to do with what's going on in the brain and what's going on in 102 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,880 their central nervous system. So that's just one tiny piece of what we're talking about 103 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:36,320 today is like resetting the expectations. But of course we have to talk about a lot 104 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:40,400 of other pieces that are going in there. Yeah. And I just want to circle back to a couple 105 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,920 of things because I have these conversations all the time because I am in the throes of 106 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:50,040 parenting and I'm working with a four year old, a seven year old, a 15 year old and a 107 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:54,520 17 year old. So we really have the full gamut of, I mean, we don't have babies anymore. So 108 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:59,320 that's a little different. But we have like the true time of when parenting and consequences 109 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:03,120 and all the things need to come online and we really do need to be a united effort. So 110 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:08,080 I am working with my fiance for all four of the kids. And then we have the other parents 111 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:14,080 that are on the other side. So we really are experiencing quite a challenging meshing of 112 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:19,360 all the systems come in together. My whole technique on parenting really goes into what 113 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:24,080 we're about to discuss. How do we really parent with putting the oxygen mask on ourselves 114 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:29,960 first? And that is so important because I was, we're dysregulated and I would be that 115 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:35,200 parent that's like, everyone calm down. And I'm like, but I'm not being calm. I just 116 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:39,680 had this conversation with my fiance the other day and he was asking my son, like, you need 117 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:43,360 to listen first time every time. And I was like, do you listen first time every time? 118 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,240 And he looks at me, he's like, actually, no, I don't. And I was like, exactly. So it goes 119 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:52,400 back to what Paul was just saying is we cannot keep asking our kids to do something that 120 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:57,800 we are not doing. And the bigger piece is, is why are we doing that? We're doing it because 121 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:03,640 if we have order outside of ourselves, it helps us feel calm. And that's really going 122 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:11,120 back to again, us put the oxygen mask on. So as I've regulated my nervous system, I 123 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:16,240 was just not, and this is where in the cortex, our program comes on, where we regulate you, 124 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:20,880 you help to get yourself in a space of coming out of survival mode. So the little things 125 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:26,360 aren't show stopping anymore. The best part is, is it's automatic. So you put in the time 126 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:30,760 to do the brain work. And then the rest of the day just flows. All the things that used 127 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:35,040 to be challenging, like getting out the door, transitioning, remembering to do this, this 128 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:40,040 and this, listening just happen. And it happens effortlessly. You don't have to think your 129 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,480 way through it. You don't have to go come up with other ideas on how to do X, Y and 130 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:48,440 Z. It just happens. Your brain is lined up for it. And then at the same time, once you 131 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:54,520 are to survival mode, the attachment parenting, the gentle parenting, that's all these major 132 00:10:54,520 --> 00:11:00,760 terms today become easy. And this is where the second half of our program dives into 133 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:05,680 the subconscious beliefs. And that's right in line with attachment and gentle parenting. 134 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:10,040 It's really about becoming a nurturing connection because you cannot be nurturing if you're 135 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,200 in survival mode. You're like, shoot, forget about you. I got to survive. I got to take 136 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:18,600 care of me. I got to feed me and help me forget about you guys. Right. And let's be honest, 137 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:23,040 parenting does take you to that extreme level sometimes because it's challenging. It's, 138 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,600 you know, you don't sleep all the time. And so then that's turning on that survival brain 139 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,960 or maybe you're not eating because you got to feed everybody else or you have to be 140 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:34,920 shuffling around to so many different extracurriculars that it's hard to have time to do it all. 141 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:38,800 Right. And again, we've talked about this before. We've lost the village. We really 142 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:43,880 are encouraging the village to come back to support raising humans. We cannot do it alone. 143 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:48,520 It's just, it's not how we were designed to be. And that's what Paloma just mentioned 144 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:54,960 with the mammals. We need to be a pack. So as we come out of survival mode, now we can 145 00:11:54,960 --> 00:12:00,000 really start to dive into the nurturing connection. Right. Noticing that I need to give them 146 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:07,400 a secure and independent and empathetic connection. We also then dive into being more respectful 147 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:14,160 and conscious and positive because now we're capable. Our bandwidth has now grown and now 148 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:20,400 we're able to see our kids for the individuals that they are. And so much of our world today 149 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:26,920 is parents feel like our kids are an extension of us and, you know, they are at some level. 150 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:32,520 Right. But we really need to really see that our kids having a certain behavior like what 151 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:36,840 Paloma was mentioning when we're dysregulated doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It means 152 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:42,280 that brain is getting a need met. What is that need? And so if we can look at it from 153 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:49,960 a curious angle and see it as, Hey, what are they needing right now? Okay, maybe they feel 154 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:55,320 that they're not being heard and seen. That's why they're yelling. Let's break this down. 155 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:59,400 Let's figure out what the root of this is. And now we can go in and support them. And 156 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,920 at the same time that you're experiencing that with your child, it's going to stir up 157 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:08,280 stuff in you. And this happens to me all the time as I'm parenting. And we always tell 158 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:13,960 parents, once you start becoming like once you're a parent, your children are your greatest 159 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:18,320 teachers and they put the spotlight on you and they help you see what you have yet to 160 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:22,600 go work on in yourself. And you really can't escape it anymore. So you can hide from it 161 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:26,880 until you have kids and then you're like, Oh, I have to face this, or you don't, that's 162 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:31,000 up to you completely. But when your child's acting the way they are, then it might bring 163 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:36,520 up stuff within you. And then you're going to start reacting and responding a certain 164 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:42,360 way, unless you're regulated and unless you can really see those as two separate things 165 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,800 and tackle them for what they both need. 166 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:50,240 Yeah. And that's where we love to share the subconscious piece as well. The second six 167 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:56,200 modules are all dedicated to the subconscious piece. And this is really, really important 168 00:13:56,200 --> 00:14:02,200 in the first seven years of life. Kids are in a brainwave state that's called theta, 169 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:07,760 which is kind of like a semi-hypnotic state. It's kind of like when you're about to fall 170 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:11,560 asleep or when you just wake up in the morning and you're still kind of in that hazy dream 171 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:16,920 world, but you're not fully awake yet. Or when you get into like a deep meditation, 172 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:22,200 that's when theta occurs. And in theta, what you're doing is you absorb a lot of information 173 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:27,040 into the subconscious. Usually the subconscious and the unconscious aren't really available 174 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:33,800 to us, right? In our day to day, they're guiding us 100% of the time, but they're not always 175 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:39,920 readily available for us to see. We operate with only 5% consciousness in our lives. So 176 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:46,420 we are only conscious of 5% of what's going on in our mind at any given time. Let that 177 00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:53,880 sink in literally to your subconscious because that's a lot. I mean, 95% of what we do is 178 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:58,680 our subconscious programming. So in those first seven years of life, kids do have that 179 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:03,800 much easier access to subconscious. So that's where they're programming their views on the 180 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:11,040 world, the views about themselves, about work, about money, about love, about every single 181 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:16,280 thing because that's what they're here to do is to learn about the world in those first 182 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:21,320 years of life. So then when it's their turn to go and live their lives and be independent, 183 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:25,680 whatever, they already know what the world quote unquote is about. The issue is that 184 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:31,240 a lot of the time our subconscious beliefs are shaped in not the most positive way. So 185 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:36,720 we all have subconscious beliefs that are very, very positive and some of them that are very, 186 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:42,080 very negative. And so they're holding us back without us even noticing. And that's another 187 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:46,880 piece that Danny's talking about when kids are mirroring things back to you. A lot of 188 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:53,080 the time what they're mirroring is that subconscious belief and the brain always wants to confirm 189 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:58,080 what it always already believes to be true. So it doesn't mean that it has it's not true. 190 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:03,360 It's not true. It's not an objective truth because truly nothing is objectively true. 191 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:08,200 And that's a whole different subject, but it's not objectively true, but your brain 192 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:14,680 believes it to be true. So your brain is going to look for clues that it is true all over 193 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:19,240 the place. And so that's another piece of our program where we really help people understand 194 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:23,560 that and reprogram it. And this is a lot of what Bruce Lipton says, right? It's like all 195 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:30,000 of his science is proving exactly this, the theta brain waves are that moment when you're 196 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:35,080 absorbing everything. And so it's important for two reasons. One is because your kids 197 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,520 are picking up on a lot of the things that you might not even notice. And Danny, this 198 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:42,240 happens to you all the time when like, Sigi will say something and you're like, whoa, 199 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:48,080 I did not realize she ever, you know, noticed that I said that or that I thought that, right? 200 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,160 And so they're picking up on things that parents have no idea. 201 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,160 Kind of scary. 202 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:57,240 It's scary, but it's also like, listen, nobody leaves childhood unscathed. We say this all 203 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:03,080 the time. And it's true. So also not, we want parents to not feel that guilt now for the 204 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:06,000 beliefs that you haven't even given your kids or you don't even know that you're giving 205 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:10,200 your kids because the truth is they're getting them for a reason. And the whole point of 206 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:16,760 this pro of our program is to give people the tools to say, okay, maybe my child or 207 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:22,600 I have some beliefs that are holding me back. Here are the tools that I can use to give 208 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:26,600 my brain the subconscious beliefs that are actually going to propel me forward rather 209 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:30,160 than hold me back. So that's the number one piece, but the other piece is something I 210 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:34,320 just said right now, actually, which is looking at your own beliefs, right? As a parent, if 211 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:38,560 you feel like you're getting that mirroring, if you feel like you're getting that pushback 212 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:44,080 from your kids, look at yourself first always. And we know this is not easy. And it's not 213 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:48,480 something you need to do in the moment, right? It's not like as you're being triggered, you're 214 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:52,040 like, I got to go look at my subconscious beliefs. But it is something that's important 215 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:57,200 for you to look at because that's truly the only way to create the lasting change is to 216 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:02,760 look at what's going on in your subconscious. Exactly. And just to highlight even more, 217 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:07,840 just to give that really like wow factor, the human brain can process over 11 million 218 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:12,880 bits of information every second, but the conscious mind can only handle 40 to 50 bits 219 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:18,280 of information a second. So it really puts into perspective that so much is happening 220 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:25,760 at such a subconscious level and it really requires such a thoughtful, introspective, 221 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:31,160 mindfulness approach to go, Hey, how am I coming across? How is my child hearing me? 222 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:37,720 And I have some good examples to share. And this is important that we cannot do that reflection 223 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:45,160 we cannot go there if we are in survival mode. And that was me 100%. It was really challenging 224 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:51,800 for me to get by because I'm tired. I've got a lot on my plate. I had this, this and this. 225 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:56,040 And until I really started committing my every single morning, wake up, do my brain work, 226 00:18:56,040 --> 00:19:02,920 set myself up, then all of a sudden, everything just became so manageable. So for example, 227 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:07,720 if you're talking to somebody and you say, could be to a child, a friend, whoever, and 228 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:14,360 you come across pretty direct and maybe with a demand, if some would say, it's going to 229 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:19,440 immediately trigger that survival brain. So my son was riding around on his scooter. 230 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:24,120 He knows he needs to wear a helmet. So my fiance came up to him and just stopped him 231 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:29,280 on a scooter and was like, where's your helmet? Now, it wasn't coming from a space of like 232 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:34,960 true survival, but it was enough of a threat for him to then shut down and go into his 233 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:40,640 fight flight freeze mode. And I said to my fiance, said, there's a different way to help 234 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:47,560 keep the brain in the cortex. And it's about going about it in a really novel way. So so 235 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:52,920 much of us as adults, we're tired, we're stressed, we don't have the time to be able to really 236 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:58,840 spend on keeping, you know, everything in that novelty space. But it will save you so 237 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,800 much time. And if you've been doing your brain work, it's so much easier. So instead of saying 238 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:08,120 to him, where's your helmet? You could stop and kind of like jump out in a goofy way and 239 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:13,360 be like, hmm, I think there's something missing on your head. What do you think it is? Is 240 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:19,680 it a banana? Is it a shoe? And then they'll be like, Oh, it's my helmet. And so when you 241 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:25,040 ask it that way, you ask with novelty, you can only process that in your cortex. So that 242 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:31,120 was just a really fast way of connecting, nurturing, staying cortex. And then we did 243 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:34,440 still set the boundary that, Hey, you still need to wear your helmet when you go ride 244 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:39,680 your scooter. It took maybe an extra 30 seconds to a minute. But then it made everyone just 245 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:44,800 keep moving forward. And again, we're going to reiterate this a million times, you cannot 246 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:49,360 parent like that, you cannot take your deep breaths, you cannot go walk and do something 247 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:54,440 else if you don't have the bandwidth to do so. And then you just end up with fights at 248 00:20:54,440 --> 00:21:01,400 home, you end up with pushback. I just witnessed some, there's so many things that I see in 249 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:06,800 society and I never want us to feel like we're judging other parents because I felt like 250 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,080 parenting is something that none of us really understand how to do until we're doing it. 251 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,240 And then we're all, I feel like there's a lot of moments where it's like on our heels, 252 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,920 like, Oh, I'm in so far. How do I get out of this? 253 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:20,000 Even now, when you know all this stuff about the brain, you've been working with kids for 254 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:25,520 however long and all 15 years. Yeah, all different. Oh, even longer because there's 255 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:31,800 a long way. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah. And even now you're like, every week you have 256 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:36,680 like one thing where you're like, Oh my God, there's a new struggle. And it's coming from 257 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:41,960 a space of compassion. And it's really about, I would definitely agree that I think I was 258 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,080 a little bit more on the judge your side of life, like, Oh, you just need to do your 259 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:49,520 brain work. But now that I have kids and now that I live that life, it is so much more 260 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,560 than anyone can ever prepare you for because you don't know what you don't know. And so 261 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:57,920 now that I'm there, I'm like, Okay, I get where you're at. I can truly empathize with 262 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:03,280 your situation. And I really am not the place where I don't even hesitate anymore to walk 263 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:07,220 up to parents and say, Hey, I've got some tools that can help you. And it's not to make 264 00:22:07,220 --> 00:22:11,520 you feel bad about yourself that you're doing a bad job. It's to really help you get out 265 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:17,080 of that space you're in because nobody likes that feeling. Nobody wants to feel like they 266 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,800 don't have options. Nobody wants to feel like they just said something that was really 267 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,880 shaming their child. And afterwards, like, I shouldn't have said that in front of everybody 268 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,440 that made them feel really horrible. I just heard a parent say this the other day at soccer 269 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:33,160 practice, they were like, Oh, look at everyone can see you crying. Do you want your friends 270 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:38,200 to see you cry? And I was like, Oh, God, so, like, because it's coming from the space of 271 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:43,520 no, this kid is hurting, he's not crying, because he's just crying to cry, he needs, 272 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:49,000 he has a need that needs to get met. So coming down and connecting with him and saying, Hmm, 273 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:53,800 I can see you're upset right now. How can I support you? What do you need? But again, 274 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,800 if you don't have the tools to get out of it, and you just feel like this is the never 275 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,600 ending and there's no light at the end of the tunnel, of course, you're going to resort 276 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:05,400 towards, you know, threats, empty threats, shame, and all the things that we think help 277 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,120 people learn, which actually does quite the opposite. 278 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:12,720 Right. And the parent in that moment is thinking, Okay, how do I get my kid motivated to not 279 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,960 do this? Right. So they're not thinking, Oh, I really want to shame this child. No, they're 280 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:20,680 always, they're trying to do the best that they can. They're like, Okay, I just want 281 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:25,320 to motivate my kids to stop crying. So how do I do this? But sometimes you just don't 282 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:30,040 know what else that's going to cause. Right. And that's the truth. And that's, that goes 283 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:35,760 back to kind of what we were saying a while ago about, you know, it's very easy to put 284 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:41,040 a label on somebody and to just look at the behavior and be like, that kid is a blank. 285 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:45,800 And adults too, we do this all the time where we listen, we look at people's behaviors and 286 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:51,680 we label them based on one thing, one part of their brain, one part of their personality 287 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:56,360 of whatever it is that they might be doing. And it's so easy to put a label on things. 288 00:23:56,360 --> 00:24:00,120 And that's what our brain wants us to put labels on things. Right. Yeah. It makes everything 289 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:06,480 easier. Exactly. And then, and two, so as that parent is saying that thing to the child, 290 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:10,880 it's hitting that wound and that subconscious bleeper just talking about, there's something 291 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:16,800 wrong with me if I can't get my child to perform. And I have to tell you, since I was a division 292 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:21,800 one athlete in college and sports always came pretty natural for me, I'm watching my Sun 293 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:26,000 Play Sports and I have to walk away sometimes because I'm having those human moments of 294 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:31,200 like, oh my gosh, he's out there picking the grass instead of playing soccer. And then 295 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:36,640 I'm like, but I was an athlete, like why isn't it just genetically passed down to him? And 296 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:42,480 so this is where every moment of parenting have so many lessons involved and ingrained. 297 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:47,840 And this is where it takes a very conscious aware parent to take those lessons and turn 298 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:53,000 them into learning and growth versus there's something wrong with him. There's something 299 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:58,200 wrong with me. I'm never going to change. This is just who I am, like you just said. 300 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,920 And so this is where our approach, we don't, we don't ever want to say that this is the 301 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:07,200 only approach to go about parenting, but I'm living the life. I mean, we're in the throes 302 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:11,560 of a lot of the things happening with a four year old, seven year old, 15 year old, 17 303 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:18,560 year old. And we keep coming at it from a space of us in our cortex. We keep coming 304 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:24,160 at it from a space of what is that child needing? What, how can we support them? What's coming 305 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:29,600 up for us when we go into these next levels? Like, you know, is there shame on our end? 306 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:34,400 Are we feeling guilty? Did we not do enough? Are we, and trust me, going through a divorce 307 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:38,560 is the biggest guilt and shame experience you could ever experience as a parent. Cause 308 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:43,280 you're like, I ultimately just filled my kids. Like I took away their foundation and that 309 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,880 took a while to get over. I can say it now without crying, which is huge, but it took 310 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:51,120 me doing this deep work of like, why did I feel so much guilt? Why did I feel like I 311 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:57,800 ruined my kids? And we just want to really go into that space that we're all human. We're 312 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:03,600 all doing the best that we can. And then here are some tools to actually just level the 313 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:08,200 playing field to make it so you can look at your kids and yourself and say, Hey, we are 314 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:14,960 a team. It's not just cause I said so obey me for that control aspect. It's no, I actually 315 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:19,760 really want to help you learn and grow and be your most authentic and best self as you 316 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:20,760 become an adult. 317 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:24,600 Yeah. It's the biggest piece. And it's the base of that is really understanding that 318 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:30,000 we all deserve respect. We all deserve to feel worthy to feel like we're enough no matter 319 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:35,280 how old we are. Right. And this is something that you can start to instill in your children 320 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,760 from now. Right. And so if you look at your own brain development, if you look at what's 321 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:44,520 going on in yourself before, probably before having kids is ideal. But yeah, everybody 322 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:48,720 gets to it when they do. And once again, that's going back to like, there is no shame. And 323 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:53,520 I think that this is a big thing is that parents and I don't, somebody we talked to the other 324 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:58,840 day said this, like moms, every single mom always thinks that she's not doing enough. 325 00:26:58,840 --> 00:26:59,840 Right. 326 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:04,600 This person was talking specifically about mothers and Danny was like, yeah, that's totally 327 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,840 it. I always feel like, I'm like, what do you mean you're not doing enough? You do at 328 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,760 like you homeschool your kids, they're with you all the time. So he's with you right now. 329 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,720 You like have so much like amazing, gentle parenting strategies that you use with them. 330 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:19,640 I've seen it. You give them all the tools and all the openness and all the space to 331 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:25,200 express themselves, be themselves and mess up and fix their problems. And you know, all 332 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:29,400 of these things and you're still like, yeah, I'm not really not doing enough. And so that's 333 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:35,200 a lot of what comes from just being a parent today is like, I feel like I'm under attack. 334 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:39,560 Like I feel like there's something wrong with me or somebody that's going to post something 335 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:43,080 on Instagram is always going to make me feel bad. Right. Or somebody's going to make a 336 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:47,840 comment at a dinner table is going to make me feel bad about my own parenting style. 337 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,600 And that's the biggest thing is like, it's not about making anybody feel that one thing 338 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:55,560 is right and the other thing is wrong. It's all about being able to find what works for 339 00:27:55,560 --> 00:28:00,520 you. But the only way you can truly find what works for you is if you regulate your own 340 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:04,960 nervous system. Otherwise you might be using trauma responses. You might be using coping 341 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,480 mechanisms. You might be using compensations to get to you where you think you need to 342 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,960 be and serve where you really want and what you really need to become the best parent 343 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:13,960 you can be. 344 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:18,320 And you know what? As you're saying that, I was like, in the past six weeks, I have 345 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:25,080 not once said to myself or out loud, I'm not doing enough. And I've surrendered. And now 346 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:29,280 they were saying this, I'm having a projects moment. I have surrendered knowing I need 347 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:34,920 the village, right? I do homeschool my kids, but I did just find a pod that is absolutely 348 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:39,920 rad. But I have completely surrendered to my parents helping. And guess what they started 349 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:45,040 doing? Their brain work without me for over 13 years, I've been talking about brain work 350 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:49,960 and how it's the solution to everything. And now they're doing it. And now we have the 351 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:55,320 teenagers on board. They're doing it. Everyone's doing their brain work right now. And it's 352 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:59,280 quite amazing that I'm like, okay, now I can really go focus on me and I feel like I am 353 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,560 doing enough. So I haven't even had that thought for a really long time. I know that you've 354 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,560 said that that was a huge moment. 355 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:09,440 Yeah. And for anybody who hasn't been who hasn't been listening to the previous episodes, 356 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:15,600 me and I started doing our own program from the beginning again, six weeks ago, we're 357 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:21,000 on module six, we're doing one week per module. And oh my God, yeah, we've noticed so many 358 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:26,600 shifts and we love talking about this with everybody, but it's the little things that 359 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:31,560 just make life easier. I just telling this diploma yesterday, I totally just had this 360 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,800 moment where I just forgot about soccer practice and someone calls me like, Oh, aren't you 361 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,560 supposed to be at soccer? And I was like, Oh yeah, we should be at soccer right now. Danny, 362 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:44,560 before brain work would have been like, Oh yeah. And it'd been like a frantic fury to 363 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:50,440 get into the car. And I was like, okay, Axel, water bottle, shoes, Siggi, shoes, bathroom. 364 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:54,160 And then they went and did it. And it was just like calm. We got in the car and we were 365 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,840 early instead of being super late and we were just sitting there chilling. And I was like, 366 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,840 do you guys realize that we all just got in the car effortlessly and we didn't have like 367 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,560 any melt sounds, everyone just did what they needed to do. And we're here right now and 368 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:10,320 everyone's calm. And my son who's 70 goes, Yeah, mom, it's cause we did our brain work. 369 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:16,560 And I was like, that is right. And so now every time he sees dysregulation, he instead 370 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:21,880 of calling kids, you know, mean kids, whatever you want to call them or adults, he just goes, 371 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:25,320 Oh mom, they just need some brain work. And that is what so many kids start to see. And 372 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,400 they're like, if they just did a little bit of brain work, they wouldn't have to act that 373 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,200 way. And I'm like, I know, isn't that the truth? 374 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,400 Yeah. And we see it all the time with our friends and the people that we know, people 375 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:41,480 on the street. I mean, it truly is about that moment where I remember the other day, I think 376 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:45,960 it was at the movie, I think it was an airplane and you know, airplane babies, it's a whole 377 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:50,520 thing, it's a thing that everybody gets. But at the end of the day, like, you know what, 378 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:56,880 it's a baby, babies cry, darling, they just do. And so people getting mad at a baby crying 379 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:03,360 in my brain, in my mind, it makes no sense. I also love babies. And so I just, cause this 380 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:08,080 poor woman was just like, she felt so bad. I could tell she was like red sweating. And 381 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:13,760 we haven't even gotten onto the plane. It was like at the gate. And everybody was like, 382 00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:18,320 and I just looked at her and I smiled and she was like, thank you. She was so cute. 383 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,880 I told you about this. It was when I was coming here or maybe, I don't know if I told you 384 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:28,080 about it. I was just like, he's a baby. And she was like, I don't know. I don't know. 385 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,360 I don't know what do I do. And I was like, he's just a baby. It's fine. He's just a baby. 386 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:36,520 But it is that thing where you feel like all eyes are on you. And also like the truth is, 387 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:42,360 like if you look at it logically at a situation that is a baby crying on a plane or being, 388 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:47,640 having 20 minutes to get to soccer practice, what can you do? Right? You can, you're not 389 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:52,680 going to put a, you know, tape over the baby's mouth or like drug him so we'll go to sleep. 390 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,840 Right. So he stops crying. So what can you do? You can control how you respond to it. 391 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,600 Put on some headphones. And then that's the co-regulation. 392 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:07,120 So you say, I call myself, if everybody around me is calm, then I'll, I'll be more successful. 393 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:11,360 Like I'll feel better. Right? But he, but you can't control everybody else. So like if you, 394 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:15,800 and when you get to that place with brain work, cause you will get there where you literally 395 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:21,000 can block out what anybody else is projecting at you. And you can put up that invisible wall. 396 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:26,640 That's like, that's not my stuff. That's obviously you having issues with control. And guess what? 397 00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:32,280 This is out of everyone's control. And if you stick home for your baby, your baby immediately feels it. 398 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,960 Absolutely. And so that's the thing is if she had been able to do that, 399 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:40,120 maybe the baby would have cried, maybe he wouldn't have, but she would have processed 400 00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:43,480 the whole thing in a different way. And that's ultimately the whole thing. And that's the 401 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:49,560 book that we're reading with the Gabor Mate with the myth of normal. He talks about how trauma is, 402 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:55,520 can happen in any sort of situation, but trauma responses are what happened, the way that you 403 00:32:55,520 --> 00:33:01,400 respond to the thing, not the thing that happened, the way that your brain and your body responded 404 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:06,880 to the situation. And that there's part of that that we can't control. If we have had trauma in 405 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:13,400 the past, if we had had stuff that happened, but now that you know the tools, you can start to set 406 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:18,240 your brain up for success in those situations. Ultimately, we, I mean, we always say the biggest 407 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:24,040 thing, right? But the biggest thing is to put the spotlight on yourself, because that's the only 408 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:29,000 person that's always going to be with you. Your entire life is you. And so let's just help you, 409 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:35,360 me, everybody, just help yourselves get to the point where you're able to process the world in 410 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:41,200 a way that's just easier for you. Yes. That is our dream and mission on this planet is to share 411 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:46,280 that it's possible. You do not need to turn your power over to anyone else. You can do it yourself 412 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:51,800 at home in less than 20 minutes a day. It is truly almost some people are like, what's the catch? 413 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,480 We're like, there literally is no catch other than your time. And you have lifetime access to the 414 00:33:55,480 --> 00:34:01,840 program. By the way, lifetime access. It's so doable. And it's something that we think parents 415 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:06,640 need to do with their children. If you're in a relationship, if you're single, if you're just a 416 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:11,200 neighbor, if you're in your seventies, it doesn't matter how old or what's going on in your life. 417 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:16,160 Everyone has a brain and everyone can improve it and the way that they're processing the world. 418 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:21,560 So just hold space. I like hold that vision in my mind all the time. Like just imagine everyone 419 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:26,880 getting on the floor normalizing, creeping and crawling as a way to help yourself feel better. 420 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:31,280 People are just telling us it's so weird. Yeah, who cares? I don't care if I look weird and I feel 421 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:37,400 better. Yeah, that's, it's ultimately all I care about. So thank you for listening today. I think 422 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:41,640 we have so much more to unpack on parenting and the future episodes and we will continue to do so. 423 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:47,000 And please write to us and let us know. We have so many people asking us to do more episodes. So 424 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:51,960 if you've got an idea and you want us to share our brain perspective, we are happy to do so. And 425 00:34:51,960 --> 00:35:00,880 here we go. Instagram in the cortex underscore us Facebook in the cortex us tick tock in underscore 426 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:10,480 the underscore cortex website, www.inthecortex.com email hello at in the cortex.com. And because 427 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:14,640 we love you and we love that you're listening and we love that you're helping us spread the 428 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:19,440 word that life can get easier and the brain can change. You can use promo code Brainiac to get 429 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:27,080 $10 off your very first payment of our program. We're here. Please reach out to us and thank you 430 00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:45,520 so much for being with us. Bye. Bye.