1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,280 Hi and welcome to the In The Cortex podcast. 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,280 We are your hosts. 3 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:11,600 I'm Poloma Garcia. 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,640 And I am Danny Parakoni. 5 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:17,240 And we're the founders of In The Cortex, an online community with programs that show 6 00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:21,480 people the tools that they need to change their lives, their brain reorganization, no 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,880 medication, just movement. 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:28,080 When you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start 9 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:32,160 to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex. 10 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:36,520 Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life. 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,360 And now, on to today's episode. 12 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,520 And today we have an extra special Cortex moment. 13 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:53,200 Every morning I do my brain work and I show cortex and I wash it every day. 14 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,200 Okay. 15 00:00:54,200 --> 00:01:00,120 I don't have any more meltdowns, so skip the meltdown. 16 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:04,080 I stop by my nanny house and I have super salt. 17 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,240 Yeah, my hair is super long. 18 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,240 It's like this. 19 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:13,640 My mommy can brush my hair and I don't wind. 20 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:14,640 Okay. 21 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:20,240 When everybody says me to do something, I do it. 22 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:26,280 I will ruin my cortex. 23 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,280 Okay. 24 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:34,520 Today, we're going to talk about how to spot a survival brain and what to do about it. 25 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:39,320 So we're going to be making what might be making a real neuroscientist in a lab kind 26 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:43,880 of cringe right now because we're going to break this down to make it make sense. 27 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:49,400 Our goal here in the Cortex is to normalize brain reorganization and doing it from a space 28 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:54,000 of really understanding the why behind what's going on in the brain. 29 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,000 Exactly. 30 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,440 So let's go over some of our ITC terms. 31 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:02,560 When we talk about the ponds, remember if you've listened to some of our older episodes, 32 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:07,480 we're talking about that anxiety, fight or flight reactive brain. 33 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:11,320 When we talk about the mid brain, we're talking about the part of the brain that's more involved 34 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:17,040 in our prioritization, organization, motivation and dopamine creation. 35 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,960 That all rhymed. 36 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,800 When we talk about the primitive brain or the survival brain in general, we're talking 37 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:27,100 about all of that together along with our primitive reflexes and basically the whole 38 00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:32,040 structure of the brain and the brainstem that is designed to react and keep us alive. 39 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:37,160 We talk a lot about survival mode, but we really want to dive into what does this actually 40 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,080 mean in our daily life? 41 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:44,320 We also share that survival mode is the same thing as saying a dysregulated nervous system 42 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:49,320 or a lot of people notice the fight, flight, freeze response and we also have added in 43 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,960 more recently the fawn response. 44 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:57,880 So our goal here is to really break this down so you can understand what that looks like 45 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:02,520 in day-to-day living, but ultimately to create more compassion in the world because we're 46 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,080 all doing the best that we can. 47 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,920 And there is so much more that we can do and that's what we're here to share with you 48 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:13,080 at In the Cortex, but we really want you to understand what does this look like in day-to-day 49 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:18,280 living so that way everyone can just kind of normalize that, hey, we're all operating 50 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:22,200 from these things and there's no judgment or shame here, but we're just here to spread 51 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:27,040 the word of this is what you can do about it and this is what it looks like. 52 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,320 I think it's important to talk about survival mode and what it actually means, right? 53 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:37,680 So it's our brain going into a reactive state where its only goal is to keep us alive. 54 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,440 And so like we said in a different episode, if you're going to be run over by a car or 55 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,640 if you're being chased by a saber-toothed tiger, that's great. 56 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:45,840 You want that on. 57 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:50,320 What happens is a lot of what's going on in our day-to-day life is not life or death. 58 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,200 These are perceived threats. 59 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:57,480 And so our nervous system and our brain is still learning how to adapt to those things, 60 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,280 especially if our brain is underdeveloped, right? 61 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,960 And so if we didn't get that movement in that first year of life. 62 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,920 So that's how we're kind of tying this all together and why this, everything we're going 63 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:12,760 to talk about in this podcast is about how it actually shows up in your day-to-day life. 64 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:17,280 All of us are probably walking around with some sort of disorganization in our brain 65 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:18,280 nowadays, right? 66 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:19,920 And there's nothing wrong with that. 67 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:24,080 The whole point is to share with people that there are so many things that you can do at 68 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,080 home. 69 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,760 So for example, you can go take our quiz. 70 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,400 It's going to be linked in the show notes. 71 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:32,960 You can also find it on our social media and our link in bio in all those places and on 72 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,400 our website. 73 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:39,360 And we suggest you do this before listening to the rest of the podcast because we are 74 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:44,520 going to go through like the different neurological profiles that go with that first part of the 75 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,960 brain, the pawns that I was talking about earlier, which is that anxiety survival mode 76 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,480 brain, that reactive brain, right? 77 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,880 And we ask that you take this quiz, you can take it for yourself. 78 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:59,760 You can take it maybe for a child, a partner, a friend or ask them to take it. 79 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:03,680 And we want to make sure that we're looking at ourselves in the mirror before we're going 80 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,760 to go, you know, help out anybody, right? 81 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:06,760 Cause we're here. 82 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,600 The whole point of this episode is to learn how to spot a disorganized brain, a brain 83 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,920 that's in survival mode, but we are in survival mode ourselves. 84 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,280 It's going to be a little bit harder, you know, to help anybody else. 85 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:21,520 So we're all about putting on the oxygen mask before helping others. 86 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:25,800 So first go ahead and get an idea of what your brain profile is and then come back to 87 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,560 the podcast so we can go over them. 88 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:32,240 And don't be totally shocked and surprised if you're, or even feeling bad about yourself 89 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,400 if you're like, Oh my gosh, I just got the results of hot mess express. 90 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,400 Yeah. 91 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:42,000 Because I will be very much relating to those people who have those results because that 92 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,000 was me. 93 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,160 And that's as Danny, by the way, talking. 94 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,360 So go ahead and check it out. 95 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:52,680 Now we're going to break down the movement piece because our biggest thing here is understanding 96 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:59,680 that the way that you move is exactly connected to what is showing up with your results and 97 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,840 the ones that you just took the quiz for. 98 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,160 So the movement part, this is fun. 99 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,600 You can try this out now. 100 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,280 You can have somebody record you. 101 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,640 You can have someone watch you and give you the feedback. 102 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,760 But again, it's humbling. 103 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,000 It's a very uncomfortable feeling at first because you're like, wow, we're humans. 104 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,040 We're supposed to be on our feet all the time. 105 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,360 Why would I get back on my belly? 106 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,120 That's so weird and so awkward. 107 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:23,160 I am not a baby and we're not calling you babies. 108 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:27,360 But once you start doing these movements with us and all of our members can attest to this, 109 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:31,560 it's just this natural thing that we all just gravitate to. 110 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,880 So that's our goal here in the cortex is to normalize, laying on your belly and moving 111 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,400 across the floor even though it feels so weird. 112 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,080 So we feel comfortable and like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I just did that. 113 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,960 It felt so weird at first, but then it started feeling really right and like what my body 114 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:45,960 needed. 115 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:46,960 Yes. 116 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,960 So here's how you're going to check out where your brain is. 117 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,300 And remember, we're only focusing on the pawns. 118 00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:57,800 This is when a baby is developing this part of the brain from zero to five months of life. 119 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:03,000 So you're going to lie on your belly and you're going to move across the room. 120 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,960 It's best to do one slick flooring. 121 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:09,200 It's really hard to do on carpet, but if you're in a pinch, you can go ahead and try it just 122 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,640 to kind of see what your body wants to do. 123 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,200 And you have to keep your hands in front of you. 124 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,000 Your chest is down on the floor. 125 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,640 Your belly is down on the floor. 126 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:22,680 And the key part here is move your body any way you want to get across the floor. 127 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:23,680 Okay. 128 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:29,080 So as you're doing that movement, the person who's watching you or you yourself can tune 129 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:32,640 into what does my body naturally want to do? 130 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:38,800 Do I naturally have both of my hands moving in front of me at the same time? 131 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:44,380 Is my right hand going first and then my left hand is coming after and it's alternating? 132 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:48,200 Do I have both of my legs wanting to bend and push? 133 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:51,280 And this is kind of giving too much information away on these movements. 134 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:55,720 But we want you to tune into what is your body wanting to do. 135 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:56,720 Okay. 136 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:02,400 So we don't want to give it all away because it is important that you do the movement that's 137 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:10,520 natural and so much of our society is so concreted in what's right and having to be a perfectionist 138 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,960 and oh, there's nothing wrong with me. 139 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:16,920 But this is where we get really raw and real here at In The Cortex and we really want you 140 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,360 to do what felt natural for you. 141 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:23,680 Yeah, and Tag us in your videos, if you made a video, tag us on Instagram if you're a brave 142 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,880 soul, we have so many people that tag us in their videos on TikTok. 143 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,400 And so we'll stitch your video and we'll do a little assessment and kind of tell you what 144 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,400 that means for your brain. 145 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:35,720 But the reason Danny's talking about not like overthinking about the way that you're moving 146 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,760 is because these movements are completely reflexive. 147 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,600 These are movements that babies are naturally designed to do, right? 148 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:46,800 When a baby is on their belly, you don't have to like teach them to move their arm and then 149 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,880 their leg and this and that to start creeping. 150 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,880 This is called creeping by the way the movement we're doing. 151 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:52,960 They just do it naturally. 152 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:57,000 So that's what we're trying to do is to get you away from that logical part of your brain 153 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:01,120 that's always trying to analyze everything and do everything perfectly, which like we've 154 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:05,160 all been there and just let your body move the way it naturally does. 155 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:08,720 And so that's how we're going to get into a little bit of that along with the quiz. 156 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:13,560 I was going to tell us more about your brain, about anybody that's listening or anybody 157 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:16,320 you know, because this is all about spotting the brain, right? 158 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,320 The disorganized brain out in the wild. 159 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:22,400 We want to know when people are in survival because we want to know how can we help them 160 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:26,000 out and how can we, you know, keep things as calm as possible. 161 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,600 And if you're listening to that, to this, you probably understand that feeling. 162 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:35,600 So the first and I guess the least developed brain profile is what we call in the quiz, 163 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,960 the hot mess express. 164 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:41,680 And all of our results on the quiz are meant to be funny just to take it lightly because 165 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:46,000 once again, we understand that the challenges associated with a disorganized brain can be 166 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,760 so, so hard, almost debilitating to a certain point. 167 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:53,840 But that's why we like to give it a little bit of levity and make it fun because the 168 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,200 truth is this is life. 169 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,200 We got to live it. 170 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:01,000 And this is, you know, we have so many tools that we can use. 171 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:06,400 And it's honestly not fun to get the hot mess express breakdown. 172 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,400 That was me. 173 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:08,640 I was a hot mess express. 174 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:13,480 I was literally the person that just did everything with such an energy attached that 175 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:17,160 people just like looked at me with like the head cock to the side, like, is she okay? 176 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,680 Is she doing okay? 177 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:20,680 And this is no. 178 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:21,680 Yeah, right. 179 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,840 And the answer was no, I am a complete mess. 180 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:27,720 Like everything that ever from the minute I wake up in the morning to the minute I go 181 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,920 to bed at night was just like chaos in between. 182 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:34,680 And it wasn't that I wasn't a high functioning person able to do things. 183 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:38,280 It just everything was so much harder than it needed to be. 184 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,800 I was late all the time. 185 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:44,960 It was all the things, even though I was able to do so much in life, I was working so much 186 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,960 harder than I needed to. 187 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,760 And that's really how we can look at this is are you working harder than you need to. 188 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:53,320 So the hot mess express people are working over time. 189 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:58,000 Everything that's happening for them is literally coming into them and that survival brain is 190 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,200 interpreting every stimulus as survival. 191 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,560 So for example, I'm late to work. 192 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,320 Oh my gosh, it's survival time. 193 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:06,640 I have to cut people off. 194 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,200 I have to zoom through this light. 195 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,400 I have to go as frantically as I possibly can. 196 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:15,560 And in the process of being that person trying to get on time, number one, you're not getting 197 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:18,480 any closer to being at your deadline on time. 198 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:22,360 But what you are doing is probably spilling your coffee on your lap or creating some road 199 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:26,880 rage situations on the road and then you're sweating and then you just show up to shovel. 200 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,960 That was 100% me. 201 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:34,120 So this person when they get on the floor, they sometimes just can't even move and they 202 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,400 go, wait, move, huh? 203 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,400 How? 204 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:41,960 They cannot figure out how do I move from point A to point B across the room? 205 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,840 And then if there are people like you, could be athletes, they can be super coordinated 206 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,400 and like move all the time, right? 207 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,840 Like you can be very, very coordinated in your day to day life and then you get on the 208 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,360 floor and you're like, what? 209 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,520 I do not know what to do right now. 210 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:56,520 And that's what's so crazy. 211 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,160 So this is not talking about your intelligence. 212 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,000 This is not talking about anything that's like really you. 213 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,040 It's just how is your brain wired? 214 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,760 That's really the key part here. 215 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:05,760 So that was me. 216 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:06,880 I could not move. 217 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:12,960 And if I did move, it was like, it was as if I had no lower half to my body, literally 218 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,240 pulling myself with both of my hands across the floor. 219 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,160 So I had no lower body engagement. 220 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,200 And this comes in different forms too. 221 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,000 Sometimes people put their feet up in the air. 222 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,240 Sometimes they do this like squirmy thing and then they take their hands down by their 223 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,920 side and they're by their hips and they're trying to like shuffle themselves forward. 224 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,840 So we see a lot of variation within it. 225 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,880 But ultimately it's the person who's just like unable to figure out how to move. 226 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,400 And so those people are the hot mess express. 227 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:44,040 So if that was you on the quiz, you just got on the floor. 228 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,040 Did that connect? 229 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,920 Did that resonate with you? 230 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:52,080 And so then after that, we have the medium we missy, which is kind of when you have one 231 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,080 leg going. 232 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:57,040 So you're going to have both hands pulling and one leg is kind of moving. 233 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,200 It can be the left or the right leg. 234 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,720 And these are people who do have a little bit more of that foundation, right? 235 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:03,880 In the ponds. 236 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,960 And so they're able to take on a little bit more. 237 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:10,280 So they might be able to deal with one stressful situation at a time. 238 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:14,720 If they have two things on their plate, if there's a deadline and then suddenly something's 239 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:20,280 going on in their personal life, or they are hungry or tired or anything else that's kind 240 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:25,160 of interrupting whatever they're meant to focus on, that's when they're going to start 241 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:28,080 to also go into that fight, flight, freeze mode, right? 242 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:34,760 And so the reaction is often the same, it just might be a bit of like turned down a little 243 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:35,760 bit, right? 244 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:41,280 So they might not be raging for four hours and being like totally, totally like, ah, 245 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:45,800 super angry about something, but they will still be the people who are feeling that anxiety. 246 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,560 They're feeling that reaction. 247 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:52,000 And ultimately, actually, this, what this is about is you're reacting rather than responding 248 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,000 to the world, right? 249 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,480 Like things that are happening. 250 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,240 It's just go your brain and your body is going. 251 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:02,000 And sometimes you look back and you're like, oh, I didn't mean to, why did I do that? 252 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:07,080 That was mean or that was, you know, maybe not the most myself that I've ever responded 253 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,080 to something. 254 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,280 And so that probably happens often to these first two profiles. 255 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:12,280 No, Danny. 256 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:13,280 For sure. 257 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,560 And I look at it as like, what's your threshold for handling stress? 258 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:20,360 So if you are totally understanding, you're like, oh, you just let's set out some of the 259 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,240 things that I experienced in my day to day life. 260 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:26,840 It just means that your threshold, your bandwidth for being able to get through all the things 261 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,280 that life brings you is very limited. 262 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:34,240 And so that's why you go to reaction mode because your brain is going, uh-oh, it's time 263 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,400 to survive. 264 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:42,280 This one stressor is equivalent to my life being in a true life or death situation. 265 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,280 And this is the key part. 266 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:44,440 It's distorted. 267 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,180 It's not reality. 268 00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:49,680 And that's why people would look at me in with like their head cocked to the side and 269 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:50,920 be like, is she okay? 270 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,120 Like that's so not what just happened. 271 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,800 And how many times have we been in those situations where we're hanging out with people? 272 00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:01,000 We all experience the same stimulus and we all react and respond differently. 273 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:06,320 And some people are like over extreme, like a spider crawls on them and they like flail 274 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:10,760 around and they're like a hot mess and everyone's just standing there staring at them like, 275 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,720 wow, that must have been really intense for you. 276 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:18,400 And it's true because every person only knows their own profile. 277 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,280 You only know what you feel like. 278 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,720 You don't actually, you can't actually go and experience what it feels like to be in 279 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:28,600 other people's shoes, you can emphasize as best you can, but you really don't know what 280 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,160 they're experiencing. 281 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:34,040 So that's the key part is understanding that everyone is truly experiencing these things 282 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:39,120 at a very real level, but there's a massive distortion happening. 283 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:43,280 And then when you get further along this scale here, so as we look at the threshold getting 284 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:49,320 more able to handle what's happening in life, we have the next category, which is mildly 285 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:50,320 messy. 286 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,400 And this is what we call the 50%ers. 287 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:57,560 These are the people who probably have two legs going and they're able to move across 288 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:58,560 the floor. 289 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,640 I'd say they'd still be getting worked up. 290 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,520 It's still challenging for their system, but they actually have an understanding of how 291 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,040 do I move from point A to point B across the room. 292 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:13,760 And they are the ones that are able to handle one, two, maybe three things at once before 293 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,640 they completely fall apart. 294 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,680 And those, those depend on the stressors. 295 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:23,560 So if you're someone who's like, Oh, I've got kids, I have a presentation at work. 296 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,760 And then all of a sudden a kid gets sick. 297 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:26,840 That's like, boom, I'm out. 298 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:27,840 I can't deal with this. 299 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,480 This is too much for my system. 300 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,560 And then they're screaming and yelling and shortness and you've all experienced that. 301 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,560 So that's the mildly messy category. 302 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:44,640 And the last one is the little messy, which is actually where I started out this journey 303 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,960 of brain reorganization where you probably are like, Oh, I'm fine. 304 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:49,960 I'm not like that at all. 305 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,640 I don't react ever. 306 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:56,280 And actually, once you look at it, you're like, Oh, wait, yes, I do. 307 00:16:56,280 --> 00:17:01,880 And so a lot of the time when you have, this is like a 75% development. 308 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:06,160 So most of the time you actually do have it under control, but what happens, at least 309 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,660 what I have experienced. 310 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:12,600 And what we see in a lot of our members is that there's like an underlying piece of you 311 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,200 that's always in that fight or flight mode, right? 312 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:19,880 So for example, for me, and this is something that I have started to notice very recently 313 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:24,000 because we, Danny and I decided to restart our own program from beginnings. 314 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:28,280 And I haven't changed feeling these crazy changes in myself and not, I guess I hadn't 315 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:34,440 really noticed a lot of behaviors that were very, very much pawns, fight or flight behaviors, 316 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:35,440 right? 317 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:41,320 So for example, a lot of controlling a lot of like wanting everything to be in exact 318 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:46,880 in an exact order and an exact way to happen in a certain time, even like with food, for 319 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,440 example, it has to be the exact thing that I wanted to eat. 320 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,160 If not, I'm not going to eat it, right? 321 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:55,760 Or if somebody's going to come to my house, I need to know exactly what, when they're 322 00:17:55,760 --> 00:18:01,560 coming, who else is coming, like anything that's like out of what I planned is not, 323 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,880 is not, not something I was okay with, right? 324 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:08,360 And so I was able to kind of take most of the stressors in my day to day life very calmly. 325 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:09,360 And I still am. 326 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:12,880 But I didn't notice that it was still part of me that was holding onto also a lot of 327 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,280 perfectionist tendencies. 328 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,480 So that's that control piece, right? 329 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,760 And for a lot of people, it's this, but for other people, it shows up more as disengaging, 330 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:21,760 right? 331 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:23,200 So, oh, I just don't like to do that. 332 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,560 Oh, that's just not my thing. 333 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:29,400 We all have these moments and we're, we're, we find those compensations, but really it's 334 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,280 still your brain being like, I know that if I go into that situation where things are 335 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:38,080 not fully controlled, where everything's not perfect, my brain's not going to like it. 336 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,800 And I'm not going to be okay. 337 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,600 So that's kind of like the way that we figure out how to deal with it. 338 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:48,080 So honestly, the people that have the 75 to even the 100% development are really good 339 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,080 at compensating. 340 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:54,200 And a lot of us have figured out the methods that work to not put ourselves in that fight 341 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,080 or flight mode as often. 342 00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:01,600 We oftentimes get asked, well, does anyone have a 100% development in any parts of this? 343 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,720 And the answer is yes, but most people aren't seeking us out. 344 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,240 Number one, if they don't have any of these challenges, because they're like, that doesn't 345 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,240 apply to me. 346 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:13,360 And number two, we do see, we have seen a couple of brains that have a 100% development, but 347 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:17,000 like we mentioned in other episodes, we're living different lives than we ever have lived 348 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,000 before. 349 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,960 So the uptick in survival mode is huge. 350 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:28,360 We have seen a drastic increase in the responses across the planet now of how people are interpreting 351 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:29,600 information. 352 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:36,080 Many of you are somebody who is experiencing that, that just all resonated with you. 353 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,000 Don't forget to tag us in your video, send them to us. 354 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,760 And really quick, we're just covering the pawns part of the brain, that one part of 355 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,200 the profile of zero to five months of life. 356 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:50,040 We will talk about in another episode, the midbrain, the primitive reflexes and the subconscious 357 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,040 beliefs. 358 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:55,680 Remember the midbrains, the filter, the organizational brain, the reflexes, those are the automatic 359 00:19:55,680 --> 00:20:01,400 instinctual movements designed to keep you alive in your first year to two years of life. 360 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,480 And then our subconscious beliefs, those beautiful things, they just follow us everywhere we 361 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,520 go and something that we have to identify and look at. 362 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,280 So if none of that creeping stuff made sense to you, don't worry, stay tuned. 363 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:16,240 We're coming back for more information on the things I just listed. 364 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,240 So now we're going to talk about- 365 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,800 But it might have made sense for somebody to know. 366 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,560 It doesn't have to be just for you, right? 367 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,960 So that's what we're going to talk about now. 368 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:28,720 And so now here's a big thing and this is something that we get tagged so much on social 369 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,920 media is what do you do now with somebody who's in their survival brain? 370 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:39,680 And we see this all across social media channels where people are losing their minds on going 371 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,200 to a restaurant, the order got wrong. 372 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,400 This just happened to me the other day. 373 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:48,160 I was at a furniture store and a guy walked up to me, my fiance and then the person helping 374 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:52,800 us and he just raged and everyone just sat there stunned and was like, wait, what just 375 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,400 happened? Why is he so upset? 376 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,600 Cause he had a weight, something like that. 377 00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,840 It was something like his brain was obviously in that space of taking in information in 378 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:05,160 an incorrect way and he went to survival mode. 379 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:10,640 And really quick, when we're in that mode, there is no logic available. 380 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,360 He's in full reaction, full, you know, go for it. 381 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,160 And we'll talk about that in a second, but there's no logic. 382 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,680 There's no talking through something. 383 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,840 There's no looking at the bigger picture, right? 384 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:25,240 You're in that moment and all you can see is what's right exactly in front of you and 385 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,160 what you're feeling coming from your body and your, you know, all the adrenaline is pumping 386 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,000 through your veins. 387 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,200 And then people say, what, oh, just calm down. 388 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,320 And you're like, oh, gee, I didn't think to calm down when I'm in the state, right? 389 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:41,600 And then that's when someone usually picks something up and shucks it out your head. 390 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:46,240 Like somebody told me the other day, they were telling their friend like, oh, you know, 391 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,240 she was getting really stressed out. 392 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,560 So I told her, you know, it seems like you stress out really easily. 393 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,920 She's like, okay. 394 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,600 Or someone tells you just like, let's just take a deep breath. 395 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,440 And when you're in those moments, that's what a lot of the tools in the world are today 396 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:04,160 is like, take a deep breath, count to 10, name two things you see, name two things you 397 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,400 smell, name two things you hear. 398 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:10,200 That has to turn into just this habit when it happens. 399 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:16,400 Our work in the cortex is helping your brain stay regulated so it doesn't have to go to 400 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,920 that place. 401 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,440 So this is really important. 402 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:25,160 When you just went and did all those movements, the way you move will share where the brain 403 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,160 goes. 404 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:30,200 So as your brain figures out a more efficient way to move across the floor, that's now a 405 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:35,880 sign you have the ability to now just pause and do all these things without having to 406 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:36,880 think about it. 407 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,800 That's such an important piece, but not everyone's fully regulated. 408 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,080 We know that first. 409 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:46,760 And so if you spot a pawns and you see someone dysregulated, if you see that survival mode 410 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,960 happening in person, number one thing is check in with yourself. 411 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,040 Are you calm? 412 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,800 Are you feeling activated? 413 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:58,200 Do you need to walk away from the situation because it's turning something on in you? 414 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,360 And we already know two pawns turns into a brawl. 415 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:06,960 So we need to make sure that if you're noticing that and you just walk away and it's, you 416 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,760 know, just go take care of you, calm yourself down. 417 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,840 Then you're going to check them. 418 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:15,440 Are they how enraged to they seem, right? 419 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,000 Because remember with you engage you enrage. 420 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,560 So that's where you want to decide. 421 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,840 Do I want to get into this or am I not going to? 422 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,680 Oftentimes the answer is no. 423 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,920 So what we do is what we suggest is just don't engage with them. 424 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:32,280 If this is a small thing, especially when you're talking, for example, with kids, if 425 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,080 it's a small thing, you can usually still talk to them about it, right? 426 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:39,960 If they're still not super upset, but once the person is very, very, very dysregulated 427 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,600 and they're screaming, they're crying, they're throwing things, whatever that might be for 428 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:48,120 each person, boredom is the best way to get back into your cortex. 429 00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:53,400 So if you stop engaging, eventually they'll come down, right? 430 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,440 And that's the number one thing because you want to take care of yourself as well, right? 431 00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:02,640 And getting into that pause, heated argument, trying to calm down, trying to get them, you 432 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:07,520 know, touching them and talking to them and trying to get them to calm down, quote unquote, 433 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,160 is only going to make it worse in the moment. 434 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:13,320 So if you're able to remove yourself from the situation, we highly suggest that you 435 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,120 do that in that case, right? 436 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:18,440 When the person is just like really on a different level. 437 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:19,440 For sure. 438 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:23,000 You cannot be bored and in survival mode at the same time. 439 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,960 That's really important to know because your brain is looking for the threat, it's looking 440 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,800 for the adrenaline rush. 441 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,480 And if it's not there, then your brain just clicks back into cortex mode. 442 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:33,480 So parents. 443 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:34,560 I know I've been there. 444 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,320 Like whenever I would have like a tantrum and I was little and they're like, go to your 445 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,960 room and then 10 minutes later, you forget what it was all about. 446 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,360 You're like, hey mom, by the way, blah, blah, blah. 447 00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:43,480 They're like, what is going on with you? 448 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,040 It's like you forgot right about what happened. 449 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,040 It's true. 450 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:52,320 And honestly, like when you calm yourself down and you got, we have in the show notes 451 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,840 in a couple of episodes back about doing a brain hookup. 452 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:59,200 That is the best way to calm your system down when you see dysregulation happening around 453 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:03,760 you, put yourself into a brain hookup and then help calm your system. 454 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:08,600 And that's another thing too is you can actually see the physiological changes in a person 455 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:09,920 when they go to survival mode. 456 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,920 Their eyes dilate, you can see the reddening of the skin. 457 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:13,920 They're sweating. 458 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:14,920 You can see their demeanor change. 459 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,880 You can just see that like breathing shift into like they're shifting in their chest 460 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,600 and they're breathing really heavily. 461 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,400 So that is a really obvious sign that we're in survival mode. 462 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:31,280 The next thing we always suggest is when we see someone in that state, we offer a question 463 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:37,600 with two options because you have to be in your cortex in order to answer a question. 464 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:41,600 You cannot, and that's literally what the brain does, it kicks it into the cortex because 465 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,080 now it has to process the thought of what's happening. 466 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:49,480 If the person's already super dysregulated throwing things across the room, screaming, 467 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,240 slamming doors, that's not a time to ask the questions. 468 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,000 That's the time to stay calm. 469 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:58,200 If you can tell they're starting to feel uncomfortable and like, ooh, you can feel that feeling coming 470 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:03,120 in, that's the time to grab them right before they go any further deep into that survival 471 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,120 brain. 472 00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:06,720 Hey, do you want to go out for a walk? 473 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,080 Hey, do you want to take your jacket with you or do you want to wear it? 474 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:14,440 And that's very big and like the love and logic parenting is like offering the two options, 475 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:15,440 giving them the choice. 476 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:21,200 So they have the autonomy to choose, but then ultimately you're giving that parameter of 477 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:25,400 how to answer versus an open-ended question, which is just like, how are you feeling? 478 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,400 They're like, I don't know. 479 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:27,400 I'm feeling I'm upset. 480 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:28,400 I'm uncomfortable. 481 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,400 I don't know. 482 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:30,400 I can't answer that. 483 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:31,400 So give them something to focus on. 484 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,400 Yeah. 485 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,760 And that can be the same thing for adults because with an adult, if you see that they're starting 486 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,280 to get upset, for example, let's say you're, you're driving somewhere and you missed the 487 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:44,160 exit or you took the wrong exit and they're starting to get upset, you can ask them, do 488 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:47,360 you think I should take the next one or should we just keep going and see if we can find a 489 00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:51,360 U-turn and like ask them to participate with you in the problem solving. 490 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:55,560 And what you're really doing is helping them understand that there are solutions because 491 00:26:55,560 --> 00:27:00,080 once again, sometimes the pawns can only see what's right in front of it. 492 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,080 Right. 493 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,080 And it's not able and what's wrong and it's not able to zoom out and be like, oh, it's 494 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,200 actually not the end of the world, we'll just take the next one. 495 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,200 Right. 496 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,960 Or that's just one example, but it can be for anything. 497 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,120 A hundred percent. 498 00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:14,080 And Paloma and I often, I often share from like the kid's perspective and parenting perspective 499 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:17,800 and Paloma always comes in as like, but adults need this too because there's so many dysregulatory 500 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,200 adults that are like, oh my gosh, a hundred percent. 501 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:25,440 So and on that note, if you are working with a child, if you are the parent or if you're 502 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:29,800 a teacher or caregiver and you have a child, the best thing to do when you see them going 503 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:34,740 into their pawns is to get right in front of them and offer some tactile feedback. 504 00:27:34,740 --> 00:27:37,320 That means putting your hands on their shoulders. 505 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,440 You're speaking from a calm space and you're right in front of them. 506 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:45,000 When a pawns is really underdeveloped, that means like the hot mess, express people. 507 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:49,320 If you are behind them, you don't exist because again, the brain is looking for what's in 508 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,240 front of it, threat, threat, threat, where you at. 509 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:54,000 If you're behind me, you don't exist. 510 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,440 It's important to keep in mind though, if you have somebody who has like tactile sensitivities, 511 00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,200 of course, don't touch somebody that doesn't like being touched if you know that about 512 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:05,040 them already, but you can also do that like Denny's saying with an adult. 513 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,880 Make sure you're standing there and they understand that you're here with them, right? 514 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:12,640 Because if they're starting to get to that point where they're dysregulated, what usually 515 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:13,640 happens? 516 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,840 If they get to that super, super triggered state that we were talking about earlier, people 517 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,920 usually kind of get away from them, right? 518 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:24,000 So once you start to sense it at a lower level, if you say, hey, I'm here, I'm not going to 519 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,200 leave because this is probably something they've experienced since they were little. 520 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:32,200 I have a huge reaction, I have a huge tantrum and everybody leaves. 521 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,280 So that's what I've learned to do, right? 522 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:35,280 Right. 523 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,280 You push people away. 524 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:37,400 That brings me to a point. 525 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,480 It's not here in our notes, but it just made me think of it. 526 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,240 And it's such a major important thing is co-regulation, right? 527 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,240 So when you're calm, you can help someone regulate. 528 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,720 And that's what we're saying here, but there's also just a simple thing of giving someone 529 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:50,840 a hug. 530 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:55,320 So many times when my four-year-old was having big feelings and big emotions and having a 531 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:58,960 survival moment, I would just go up and pick her up and hug her. 532 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:03,160 And she would at first try to fight it a little bit, and then ultimately she just melt in 533 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,160 my arms. 534 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,840 And we were actually just reading something about the primitive reflexes and how all of 535 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:16,120 the grasping reflexes are designed so that babies understand and start to relate touch 536 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:20,560 to nurture, caring, safety, food, right? 537 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,800 Like everything that's going to keep them alive, right? 538 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,760 That's why our skin is intimately connected to our nervous system. 539 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:33,120 Just knowing the stuff that we just talked about today is going to help you manage somebody 540 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:37,200 or help somebody get through that moment or even just know how to react, right? 541 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,360 Or how to respond, I should say, when you see that somebody's in that fight, flight, 542 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,480 freeze, even fawn mode. 543 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,600 In the end, the one thing that's actually going to help it so it doesn't keep happening 544 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:51,480 is creeping and crawling and reorganizing your brain. 545 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:56,120 We keep coming back to this because it truly is the one thing that's going to create lasting 546 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:57,120 change. 547 00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:01,640 And so that's our message here is to help people understand themselves and understand 548 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:02,800 people around them. 549 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,000 And that's where that's how you're going to be able to meet people where they are and 550 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,720 meet people where you are, right? 551 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:12,200 Not have these expectations for yourself that you're supposed to operate in a certain way 552 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:16,600 when maybe you start to learn about this and you start to do the creep and do the quiz 553 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:20,760 and you're like, wait, my central nervous system is super dysregulated. 554 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:26,120 Why do I have these expectations for myself that I have to be at this like calm, stable 555 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,720 state all the time? 556 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:32,160 You got to hold space for yourself as well and use some of these tools on yourself, right? 557 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,160 While you're getting that brain reorganization in. 558 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,840 And I think the biggest part too is now that you start to gain the awareness of what's 559 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:43,560 happening within yourself, the world around you, now you can start to discern like what 560 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,120 is helping you? 561 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,600 Are you enjoying the patterns you're in? 562 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:52,240 Are you seeing that the habits that you do day to day are helping you become your best 563 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,160 and most authentic self? 564 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,440 Or are you like, I really want to break this pattern. 565 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,920 I really want to get out of this. 566 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,480 This is a big piece too is like when we go into relationships, especially if you just 567 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:07,080 took the quiz, you're like, oh my gosh, my spouse is a job mess express. 568 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,480 I've got to get him to do this. 569 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:09,880 It's like, no, you can't. 570 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,360 You can never force someone else to do this work. 571 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:13,360 We tried. 572 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:14,360 Yeah. 573 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:15,360 That is true. 574 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:19,000 We have tried very hard and guess what? 575 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,640 We got nowhere with it. 576 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:26,960 So the part is, is like you look at it, okay, that's you, but what can I now go do to take 577 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,320 care of me? 578 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,880 I thank everybody for listening. 579 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,200 Please follow us on social media and tag us in your videos. 580 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,320 We love getting videos of people creeping and crawling. 581 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:38,320 It's super fun. 582 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,320 We can give you a little bit of feedback of what's going on in your brain. 583 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:45,320 We started to get some questions from some of our followers on Instagram about things 584 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,160 they want to listen to on the podcast. 585 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,440 So if that's you, please reach out. 586 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,720 We really want to help everybody, you know, spread the word. 587 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:54,400 Like we always say, we want us to spread the word. 588 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:55,560 The brain can change. 589 00:31:55,560 --> 00:32:01,960 Life can get easier and you can do it at home any day at any age. 590 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:02,960 Please follow us. 591 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,520 Our Instagram is in the cortex underscore us. 592 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:09,000 Our TikTok is in underscore the underscore cortex. 593 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:15,280 Our Facebook is in the cortex us and our website is www.inthecortex.com. 594 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:16,480 And guess what? 595 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:23,920 Our email is hello at in the cortex.com and you can get $10 off your first payment of 596 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:24,920 our program. 597 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,840 If you use promo code Brainiac, because guess what? 598 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:29,840 We are all Brainiacs. 599 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:30,840 Yes, we are. 600 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,240 And yeah, that's it. 601 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,480 Thanks for being here and we'll see you next time. 602 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:35,480 Bye. 603 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:36,480 Thank you. 604 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,480 Bye.