WEBVTT 00:00:01.770 --> 00:00:04.950 Welcome back to another episode of Diplomacy 00:00:04.950 --> 00:00:08.390 and Discourse. Today, I want to speak with you 00:00:08.390 --> 00:00:12.150 about two words that are so often repeated, but 00:00:12.150 --> 00:00:17.109 rarely practiced with any real depth. Diplomacy 00:00:17.109 --> 00:00:21.690 and Discourse. These are not just political terms 00:00:21.690 --> 00:00:24.890 reserved for heads of states and ambassadors 00:00:24.890 --> 00:00:28.489 in faraway capitals. They are survival tools 00:00:28.489 --> 00:00:32.630 for societies, for communities, and for individuals 00:00:32.630 --> 00:00:36.509 who must learn to live with differences. And 00:00:36.509 --> 00:00:39.310 at this moment, as we reflect on the passing 00:00:39.310 --> 00:00:42.409 of conservative activist Charlie Kirk, it becomes 00:00:42.409 --> 00:00:45.509 painfully clear that these tools are eroding 00:00:45.509 --> 00:00:50.729 right when we need them the most. No one should 00:00:50.729 --> 00:00:53.670 die because of their opinions. No one should 00:00:53.670 --> 00:00:57.250 be reduced to a headline on social media or a 00:00:57.250 --> 00:01:00.229 cause for celebration by those who disagree with 00:01:00.229 --> 00:01:02.880 them. There are things that I do agree with Charlie 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:05.739 Kirk, and there are things that I don't see eye 00:01:05.739 --> 00:01:08.959 to eye with. In fact, I disagree with many things," 00:01:08.959 --> 00:01:12.540 he said. But disagreement is not a crime, and 00:01:12.540 --> 00:01:15.840 difference is not an offense punishable by death, 00:01:16.219 --> 00:01:19.700 violence, or celebration when tragedy comes. 00:01:20.579 --> 00:01:23.640 He was a man who voiced his convictions. And 00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:27.180 in a democracy worth its name, we need people 00:01:27.180 --> 00:01:30.049 willing to voice their convictions. even if half 00:01:30.049 --> 00:01:33.930 the country rolls their eyes at them. That is 00:01:33.930 --> 00:01:38.730 part of the deal. That is part of freedom. But 00:01:38.730 --> 00:01:41.310 look around, and it's hard to avoid the sense 00:01:41.310 --> 00:01:44.909 that freedom of thought is being replaced with 00:01:44.909 --> 00:01:49.969 tribalism, partisanship, and vitriol. We live 00:01:49.969 --> 00:01:52.730 under a dual -party system in America that is 00:01:52.730 --> 00:01:56.299 meant to simplify governance, but has instead 00:01:56.299 --> 00:01:59.140 compressed the full spectrum of human complexity 00:01:59.140 --> 00:02:04.359 down to two shallow buckets, left and right, 00:02:04.900 --> 00:02:09.699 Republican or Democrat, conservative or progressive. 00:02:10.680 --> 00:02:14.539 But no single person's identity, beliefs, or 00:02:14.539 --> 00:02:17.699 conscience fits neatly into those two boxes. 00:02:18.419 --> 00:02:22.219 And yet, we are forced to act as if they do. 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:26.240 The result? is a society where vast portions 00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:29.219 of the population view each other not only as 00:02:29.219 --> 00:02:32.719 political opponents, but as existential threats. 00:02:34.439 --> 00:02:37.539 Our geography is divided. Many neighborhoods 00:02:37.539 --> 00:02:40.680 are politically homogeneous, entire states lean 00:02:40.680 --> 00:02:44.180 decisively one way or the other, and fewer people 00:02:44.180 --> 00:02:47.180 encounter genuine opposition in their daily lives. 00:02:48.020 --> 00:02:50.840 Religion, rather than standing as a bridge between 00:02:50.840 --> 00:02:54.080 people of different politics, is too often harnessed 00:02:54.080 --> 00:02:58.539 as a fault line. Race, gender, sexuality, and 00:02:58.539 --> 00:03:01.960 language, all of them become battle fronts instead 00:03:01.960 --> 00:03:07.960 of enriching features of a diverse society. In 00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:11.080 this two -bucket world, our information becomes 00:03:11.080 --> 00:03:15.099 sorted by allegiance. The news you watch. The 00:03:15.099 --> 00:03:18.300 podcasts you hear. The social feeds you scroll 00:03:18.300 --> 00:03:22.800 on is often curated by invisible algorithms that 00:03:22.800 --> 00:03:26.319 prioritize outrage because outrage keeps you 00:03:26.319 --> 00:03:30.180 engaged. Over time, this doesn't simply give 00:03:30.180 --> 00:03:34.180 you a perspective. It encloses you in a reality. 00:03:35.099 --> 00:03:38.180 You and your neighbor can live on the same street, 00:03:38.599 --> 00:03:42.400 share the same weather, pay the same taxes, and 00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:45.439 yet inhabit fundamentally different worlds of 00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:49.860 facts. And once facts diverge, Persuasion becomes 00:03:49.860 --> 00:03:53.939 nearly impossible. Discussion devolves into accusation, 00:03:54.439 --> 00:04:00.280 and accusation escalates into contempt. The mechanics 00:04:00.280 --> 00:04:04.759 of our politics deepen this sorting. Gerrymandered 00:04:04.759 --> 00:04:08.219 districts reduce competitive elections, rewarding 00:04:08.219 --> 00:04:12.139 the loudest and most ideological voices in primaries 00:04:12.139 --> 00:04:16.199 while punishing compromise. Media personalities 00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:20.019 and influencers discover that controversy converts 00:04:20.019 --> 00:04:24.120 attention into currency, and nuance is a poor 00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:28.540 business model. Even well -meaning leaders begin 00:04:28.540 --> 00:04:32.779 to speak in absolutes because absolutes win the 00:04:32.779 --> 00:04:37.339 day online. What gets lost is the quiet work 00:04:37.339 --> 00:04:41.600 of bridge building, the kind of unglamorous conversations 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:45.779 that produce trust, which is the true infrastructure 00:04:48.599 --> 00:04:52.800 When we speak about the risk of division, what 00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:55.740 we are really talking about is the potential 00:04:55.740 --> 00:04:59.360 for conflict not just on social media, but in 00:04:59.360 --> 00:05:03.439 the streets. Civil wars are not born in a single 00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:07.300 day. They grow year after year in the soil of 00:05:07.300 --> 00:05:12.060 mistrust, anger, humiliation, and a refusal to 00:05:12.060 --> 00:05:16.139 engage with differences. And as you can see, 00:05:16.420 --> 00:05:19.339 the signs are all around us if you look closely. 00:05:20.180 --> 00:05:23.439 The contempt in people's voices when they describe 00:05:23.439 --> 00:05:26.879 the other side. The way friendships dissolve 00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:30.240 online. The way families fracture at the dinner 00:05:30.240 --> 00:05:34.019 table during election years. We have become addicted 00:05:34.019 --> 00:05:36.740 to the idea that one half of the country is the 00:05:36.740 --> 00:05:40.639 villain and the other half the savior. And we 00:05:40.639 --> 00:05:43.959 forget that villains and saviors rarely exist 00:05:43.959 --> 00:05:48.160 in the real world. What exists are human beings, 00:05:48.699 --> 00:05:52.300 complicated, flawed, sometimes wise, sometimes 00:05:52.300 --> 00:05:56.420 foolish. Human beings who need one another more 00:05:56.420 --> 00:06:02.100 than they want to admit. History offers warnings 00:06:02.100 --> 00:06:05.800 as well as remedies. Societies that drift into 00:06:05.800 --> 00:06:10.079 internal conflict share familiar patterns. factional 00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:14.399 media ecosystems, leaders who profit from division, 00:06:15.220 --> 00:06:19.000 a shrinking middle that grows exhausted and silent, 00:06:19.879 --> 00:06:22.660 and a normalization of political intimidation 00:06:22.660 --> 00:06:27.459 as a tool. But history also shows that de -escalation 00:06:27.459 --> 00:06:30.899 is possible through cross -cutting institutions, 00:06:31.860 --> 00:06:35.680 shared projects that transcend party, and rituals 00:06:35.680 --> 00:06:38.930 of civic life that remind people they belong 00:06:38.930 --> 00:06:42.610 to something larger than a faction. Town halls. 00:06:42.930 --> 00:06:46.329 Community service. Joint problem -solving around 00:06:46.329 --> 00:06:50.790 local issues. These are not mere niceties. They 00:06:50.790 --> 00:06:57.230 are inoculations against violence. Another lesson 00:06:57.230 --> 00:07:02.129 is that pressure needs release valves. If grievances 00:07:02.129 --> 00:07:05.629 have nowhere to go but the internet, they ferment. 00:07:06.649 --> 00:07:10.250 Productive discourse gives those grievances form 00:07:10.250 --> 00:07:14.529 and direction. When people can speak and be heard, 00:07:15.149 --> 00:07:19.389 truly heard, the temperature drops. This is why 00:07:19.389 --> 00:07:22.589 rules of fair debate, the presence of trusted 00:07:22.589 --> 00:07:26.089 moderators, and the practice of steelmanning 00:07:26.089 --> 00:07:29.529 the opposing view are not academic exercises. 00:07:30.329 --> 00:07:34.110 They are techniques for keeping pluralism intact 00:07:34.110 --> 00:07:38.709 under strain. They transform confrontation into 00:07:38.709 --> 00:07:44.410 conversation. Finally, we have to recognize the 00:07:44.410 --> 00:07:47.870 role of what some call conflict entrepreneurs, 00:07:48.810 --> 00:07:53.470 actors who benefit from keeping us angry. Their 00:07:53.470 --> 00:07:57.230 incentives are not alignment, but adrenaline. 00:07:58.490 --> 00:08:01.329 The antidote is building alternative incentives 00:08:01.329 --> 00:08:05.420 into our civic and media life. rewarding leaders 00:08:05.420 --> 00:08:09.459 who build coalitions, elevating outlets that 00:08:09.459 --> 00:08:13.579 verify rather than inflame, and personally choosing 00:08:13.579 --> 00:08:17.120 to share content that illuminates more than it 00:08:17.120 --> 00:08:21.699 incites. Each microchoice pushes culture either 00:08:21.699 --> 00:08:28.100 toward the brink or back from it. Overlay this 00:08:28.100 --> 00:08:32.120 division with something else. The silent epidemic 00:08:32.120 --> 00:08:37.799 of mental strain. Anxiety, depression, loneliness, 00:08:38.759 --> 00:08:43.240 addiction. These are not isolated problems. They 00:08:43.240 --> 00:08:46.940 are everywhere, and they touch every demographic. 00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:50.960 Some of this is fueled by the digital lives we 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:54.299 live, scrolling through endless feeds of outrage, 00:08:54.759 --> 00:08:59.070 curated to make us angry or afraid. Some of it 00:08:59.070 --> 00:09:02.610 flows from economic insecurity, the feeling that 00:09:02.610 --> 00:09:06.610 jobs, wages, and futures are slipping further 00:09:06.610 --> 00:09:11.009 out of reach. And some of it comes from the weakening 00:09:11.009 --> 00:09:14.509 of the institutions that used to provide community, 00:09:15.090 --> 00:09:19.690 like churches, clubs, civic organizations, extended 00:09:19.690 --> 00:09:25.029 families. In that empty space, politics has taken 00:09:25.029 --> 00:09:28.200 root. When you don't know where else to find 00:09:28.200 --> 00:09:33.399 meaning, identity, and solidarity, politics start 00:09:33.399 --> 00:09:38.080 to do the work religion or family once did. The 00:09:38.080 --> 00:09:41.779 problem is that politics, by its very nature, 00:09:42.379 --> 00:09:47.559 is about competition and conflict. And when fragile 00:09:47.559 --> 00:09:51.019 minds and lonely hearts go looking for refuge 00:09:51.019 --> 00:09:55.279 in competition and conflict, despair deepens. 00:09:55.440 --> 00:10:02.580 Anger sharpens and division grows. We are also 00:10:02.580 --> 00:10:05.600 living through a profound crisis of attention. 00:10:06.279 --> 00:10:09.879 The average day is carved into a thousand alerts, 00:10:10.500 --> 00:10:15.019 each demanding a response, each fragmenting our 00:10:15.019 --> 00:10:20.039 focus. Neuroscience tells us that constant context 00:10:20.039 --> 00:10:23.100 switching floods the brain with stress hormones, 00:10:23.980 --> 00:10:27.879 leaving us jumpy irritable, and less capable 00:10:27.879 --> 00:10:31.940 of sustained thought. The very state in which 00:10:31.940 --> 00:10:36.320 propaganda thrives. Couple that with social comparisons 00:10:36.320 --> 00:10:40.360 that make us feel inadequate, and you have a 00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:44.960 recipe for chronic dissatisfaction. In that condition, 00:10:45.679 --> 00:10:49.799 the simplest narratives, blame them, hate them, 00:10:50.360 --> 00:10:54.360 feel like relief. Complexity begins to feel like 00:10:54.360 --> 00:10:59.830 a threat. There are practical countermeasures. 00:11:00.389 --> 00:11:04.129 Individuals can adopt digital Sabbaths, curate 00:11:04.129 --> 00:11:07.570 feeds that include credible voices from across 00:11:07.570 --> 00:11:11.289 the spectrum, and replace doom -scrolling with 00:11:11.289 --> 00:11:15.889 deliberate reading and real conversation. Communities 00:11:15.889 --> 00:11:18.789 can expand access to mental health resources, 00:11:19.629 --> 00:11:22.730 create third spaces where people gather without 00:11:22.730 --> 00:11:26.190 a partisan purpose, and teach media literacy 00:11:26.360 --> 00:11:31.120 that emphasizes verification over virality. None 00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:34.360 of this eliminates conflict, but it increases 00:11:34.360 --> 00:11:40.240 our capacity to handle it without breaking. This 00:11:40.240 --> 00:11:43.360 is where the decline of diplomacy and discourse 00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:47.539 becomes so dangerous. Diplomacy is not just the 00:11:47.539 --> 00:11:50.220 language of foreign ministers negotiating over 00:11:50.220 --> 00:11:53.759 treaties. It is the language of neighbors who 00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:57.360 learn to coexist. This is the art of saying, 00:11:57.899 --> 00:12:00.740 I don't agree with you, but I will live alongside 00:12:00.740 --> 00:12:04.679 you anyway. It is the commitment to relationships 00:12:04.679 --> 00:12:08.960 in spite of disagreements. And discourse is more 00:12:08.960 --> 00:12:12.480 than debate. It is the refusal to walk away from 00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:16.000 the conversation. The insistence that dialogue 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:19.340 must continue even when agreement seems impossible. 00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:24.899 Discourse is slow. It is hard. And it is messy. 00:12:25.370 --> 00:12:30.129 But democracy collapses without it. Because democracy 00:12:30.129 --> 00:12:33.990 is not built on victory. It is built on exchange. 00:12:34.769 --> 00:12:37.889 It rests on the understanding that the shared 00:12:37.889 --> 00:12:41.590 table is more important than the argument happening 00:12:41.590 --> 00:12:48.110 at it. And here is the painful irony. We need 00:12:48.110 --> 00:12:51.370 voices like Charlie Kirk. Not because we must 00:12:51.370 --> 00:12:55.299 agree with everything he said. Far from it. But 00:12:55.299 --> 00:12:58.340 because without voices from the right, the left 00:12:58.340 --> 00:13:02.419 cannot see its blind spots. Without liberal voices, 00:13:03.080 --> 00:13:05.399 conservatives cannot measure their own extremes. 00:13:06.519 --> 00:13:09.860 In the friction between perspectives, society 00:13:09.860 --> 00:13:14.279 finds balance. It is not harmony, but tension 00:13:14.279 --> 00:13:18.940 that keeps things together. Imagine a tent with 00:13:18.940 --> 00:13:23.740 only one pole. It collapses. but stretch it between 00:13:23.740 --> 00:13:27.299 poles pulling in opposite directions, and suddenly 00:13:27.299 --> 00:13:30.779 the structure stands tall. That is what discourse 00:13:30.779 --> 00:13:35.240 provides. A framework held in tension, strong 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:38.340 because of its disagreements, not in spite of 00:13:38.340 --> 00:13:44.000 them. We should also be honest that engaging 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:48.500 across divides is emotionally taxing. It asks 00:13:48.500 --> 00:13:52.419 us to accept this comfort, as the cost of citizenship. 00:13:53.700 --> 00:13:57.340 A useful practice is to begin with shared values 00:13:57.340 --> 00:14:02.259 rather than contested policies. Safety, dignity, 00:14:02.899 --> 00:14:06.779 opportunity, fairness. If we can agree on the 00:14:06.779 --> 00:14:09.740 destination, we can debate the route with less 00:14:09.740 --> 00:14:14.399 suspicion. Another practice is charitable interpretation. 00:14:15.200 --> 00:14:18.360 Assuming the best version of an opponent's intent, 00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:23.519 unless proven otherwise. It's not naive. It is 00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:27.440 strategic. Trust is the cheapest form of social 00:14:27.440 --> 00:14:32.860 glue. There are encouraging models to borrow 00:14:32.860 --> 00:14:37.159 from. Cross -partisan citizen assemblies, community 00:14:37.159 --> 00:14:41.759 mediation programs, and campus forums that require 00:14:41.759 --> 00:14:44.559 participants to articulate their opponent's view 00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:47.740 to their opponent's satisfaction before offering 00:14:47.740 --> 00:14:51.580 a rebuttal. These structures slow the conversation 00:14:51.580 --> 00:14:55.440 down so understanding can form before judgment 00:14:55.440 --> 00:14:59.960 hardens. They do not erase differences, but they 00:14:59.960 --> 00:15:03.820 make disagreement safer and therefore more sustainable. 00:15:05.480 --> 00:15:09.340 On a personal level, we can diversify our media 00:15:09.340 --> 00:15:12.899 diets the way a good doctor diversifies nutrition. 00:15:13.620 --> 00:15:17.820 Avoid all sugar outrage. Add sources that challenge 00:15:17.820 --> 00:15:22.759 you, and verify before you share. We can invite 00:15:22.759 --> 00:15:26.500 someone we disagree with to coffee and sat ground 00:15:26.500 --> 00:15:31.580 rules. Question first, no interruptions, summarize 00:15:31.580 --> 00:15:35.259 before responding. And we can model a tone that 00:15:35.259 --> 00:15:38.940 refuses mockery, even when it would be easy. 00:15:39.460 --> 00:15:43.399 Because mockery is the gateway drug to dehumanization. 00:15:45.230 --> 00:15:48.190 That is why celebrating the death of someone 00:15:48.190 --> 00:15:52.230 with whom we disagreed is not only unkind, it 00:15:52.230 --> 00:15:56.190 is destructive. It teaches us to think of political 00:15:56.190 --> 00:16:00.090 adversaries not as fellow citizens, but as enemies 00:16:00.090 --> 00:16:03.990 unworthy of human dignity. And once you start 00:16:03.990 --> 00:16:07.169 down that path, it is not long before words become 00:16:07.169 --> 00:16:11.409 weapons and weapons spill real blood. The silencing 00:16:11.409 --> 00:16:15.090 of voices through tragedy or the celebration 00:16:15.090 --> 00:16:18.330 of that silencing, is the opposite of discourse. 00:16:18.870 --> 00:16:24.289 It is the opposite of democracy. So where are 00:16:24.289 --> 00:16:28.850 we left? We are left with a choice. We can continue 00:16:28.850 --> 00:16:32.309 to reduce ourselves to characters, turning every 00:16:32.309 --> 00:16:35.509 election into an existential death match, every 00:16:35.509 --> 00:16:39.169 disagreement into a war of annihilation, or we 00:16:39.169 --> 00:16:43.399 can do something far harder. We can insist on 00:16:43.399 --> 00:16:46.759 practicing daily diplomacy. We can choose to 00:16:46.759 --> 00:16:50.200 pause before dehumanizing someone online. We 00:16:50.200 --> 00:16:53.259 can allow ourselves to hear voices we dislike 00:16:53.259 --> 00:16:57.379 without celebrating their misfortune. We can 00:16:57.379 --> 00:17:00.720 choose to protect the shared table, even when 00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:04.059 the conversation at that table drives us mad. 00:17:04.859 --> 00:17:08.180 Because the alternative is the collapse of conversation 00:17:08.180 --> 00:17:12.259 altogether. and when words no longer bind us, 00:17:12.900 --> 00:17:18.279 violence often takes their place. The death of 00:17:18.279 --> 00:17:21.799 Charlie Kirk is a moment not for gloating, but 00:17:21.799 --> 00:17:25.119 for reflection. To reflect on who we are becoming 00:17:25.119 --> 00:17:28.440 and how far we have strayed from the promise 00:17:28.440 --> 00:17:32.299 of democracy. It is an opportunity to recommit 00:17:32.299 --> 00:17:35.799 ourselves not to agreement, but to dialogue. 00:17:36.599 --> 00:17:40.670 Not to uniformity, but to coexistence. Because 00:17:40.670 --> 00:17:43.789 the health of a democracy has never been measured 00:17:43.789 --> 00:17:48.630 by the sameness of its voices, but by its ability 00:17:48.630 --> 00:17:51.910 to hold together voices profoundly different. 00:17:52.670 --> 00:17:55.710 That is the work of discourse. That is the work 00:17:55.710 --> 00:18:00.230 of democracy. And it is the work we cannot abandon. 00:18:02.150 --> 00:18:04.589 Thank you for sharing this time with me today 00:18:04.589 --> 00:18:07.809 on the Diplomacy in Discourse podcast. Until 00:18:07.809 --> 00:18:10.450 next time, let's commit to keeping diplomacy 00:18:10.450 --> 00:18:14.710 alive, keeping discourse alive, and most of all, 00:18:15.029 --> 00:18:19.509 keeping our humanity alive. Rest in peace, Charlie 00:18:19.509 --> 00:18:19.750 Kirk.