Hey guys, welcome to or welcome back to the almost
living podcast Has it been about three months
three four months since I've done the podcast.
Yes Life happened. Okay, things got crazy things
got busy. I honestly I don't even know why I
initially pop like I just I Woke up one day and
I was like, oh But so much has happened in my
life and we have so much to talk about so let's
just get into it. I missed you guys I missed
you guys Welcome to the pod welcome back So firstly
the most exciting one of the most exciting things
is that I finally have a computer I Since moving
to New York since you know October 2024 honestly
since before that I I lost my computer quote
unquote lost my computer. I don't think I lost
it. I was living with my mom and It just vanished
one day and I don't think I lost it but it vanished
and that's that's what I will say but haven't
had a computer in almost two years and it's It's
been fine obviously, like I have my phone, but
god do I miss. I'm recording this on my computer
and I just like set it up like literally five
minutes ago, but holy shit. Holy shit. Like a
second screen, an even bigger screen. Like I
am in bliss right now. This is amazing. I'm really
excited for and I'm really hopeful that with
this new development, the quality will get a
little bit better because one of the things about
my podcast is that I was doing all of it on my
phone. So I was trying really hard to find a
way to edit the audio so that there was no background
noise or whatever. And it's just pretty impossible
to do. such a thing on a phone it's really hard
to do like any sort of editing video editing
audio editing on a phone and so I was just like
fuck it and yeah the podcast it's it's been just
very low budget so that is exciting new computer
let's go um and yeah I mean I don't really know
I don't even remember because I was I was listening
to my most previous episode Okay, so of course
of course when I start to record everyone on
the street wants to just utilize their horn like
we understand Sorry, I hopefully can edit that
out. Maybe maybe not Yeah, be patient with me
all but I was listening to my most recent episode
like a few days ago and I mean, here's the thing.
I don't remember why I recorded the last episode
and then fell off of the face of the earth but
what i do know is that since then i have thought
about my podcast it just popped into my mind
but then you know the thing happens where when
you're starting something creative or you're
trying to do something fun and you think about
it too much and you get embarrassed like that
started happening where i was like why am i doing
this like No one cares and this is embarrassing
But then I was listening to my most previous
episode and I was literally chuckling and I was
like girl You're funny like pack it up. I just
have to stop I just need to think about myself
a little bit less and like Realize that no one
cares as much as I do Um So, yeah Yeah, the podcast
is back I want to you know be consistent again
do it once a week like i was doing and just like
get back on my grind because y 'all know i got
shit to say y 'all know i got shit to say but
i will say it would have been really hard to
be doing this podcast in the past few months
because i have a second job and i started the
second job in mid december and that has kind
of been the biggest change in my life and has
really done a number on me and I feel like I've
learned a lot as we're kind of like I'm coming
out of it because here's the thing I feel like
I maybe talked about this on the podcast but
everyone in my life I was always like I was you
know I had my job my one restaurant job that
I was doing and it was paying the bills but I
never had savings After I paid my bills, I would
be left with, you know, a couple hundred dollars.
And it was just stressing me out. I was like,
I want to have savings. And I also really, I
was like, I wanna travel next year. Next year
being this year, 2026. I was like, I want to
travel. Like I want to go on trips. It's been
a minute and I want to be out of the United States.
Like wherever it is, I don't care. So I got a
second job and it's a barista job. I've never
Been a barista. I've never worked at a coffee
shop So that's been something I guess new and
just I guess Interesting and just like learning
about coffee because it there really is like
so much that goes into it and it's kind of crazy
but My work schedule is insane and has been insane
for three months. I have been doing Monday through
Thursday I open at this coffee shop and I work
from 6 a .m. To about noon and This place is
not right next to my house. It's in the city
and it's about you know, 40 ish minutes on the
train Which means I have to start my commute
at 5 which means I have to wake up around 430
Recently, it's been closer to like 440 445 even
So that has been an adjustment Because I'm sure
I've probably mentioned this but I'm not a morning
person never have been I am a night owl I like
staying up late. I like having my alone time
at night So it's just been an extreme Life change
Because 6 a .m. Is an early time to wake up,
you know, but I am up at 6 a .m. and I'm working
at 6 a .m. and yeah I don't know I mean getting
up four days a week at 4 30 and then you know
I've been doing that and then I have my restaurant
job where I'm working weekends and then I'm also
doing a closing shift like maybe once out of
the week I have I've been working like six days
a week like you know since mid -December and
Yeah, it's been exhausting. It's really been
fucking exhausting and I knew that it was gonna
be hard like I knew You know, I've had two jobs
before like I knew it was going to be a grind
and that was the goal I was like, you know, it's
winter like it's going to be miserably cold which
it very much has been so I was like I don't give
a fuck like what else am I gonna be doing and
so I don't know it's just been like it's been
a grind that I feel like I've never really done
to this full extent and Yeah, it's really hard
to I've just been neglecting like every other
aspect of my life because when you're working
so much and you're working so early It's like
oh, yeah, I'm off at noon but then you're tired
and so then it's like yeah, just getting into
a rhythm of that was like super hard of just
like Trying to fight not to take a nap and trying
to do stuff and then it's like oh I had all these
like aspirations where I was like, I'm gonna
get off my job and then I'm gonna Go read and
then I'm gonna learn Spanish and then I'm gonna
do this which recently I have been I've been
going to the library and I've been reading and
I've been doing my Spanish and I've been like
Sewing and like trying to do other things but
it took me like my first two months I would say
of doing the job like I was not doing that I
was going home and I was napping and Just sleeping
and like being exhausted. So yeah, that has been
my life. It's been um It's been rough for sure
Can like trucks stop making noise. Sorry Yeah,
it hasn't been great I Am definitely Done doing
this especially because it's warming up like
very soon and like I would like to have a life
and have free time and You know not wake up at
four o 'clock in the morning for most of the
week, so Yeah, but but My goal, like I said,
I was like, I want to build savings, which has
that happened? Not necessarily, but I said I
wanted to travel and I do have a trip coming
at the end of the month. I'm going to Columbia
with my best friend and I am so stoked. I've
never been to South America, so this is going
to be really exciting. And yeah, I'm just so
ready to not work for a week, but also like.
go out and like eat fruit and meet people and
just have like a really good fun and fresh time
um so that's great and i also i've had credit
card debt for a little bit and not a crazy amount
but enough to be stressful and be like weighing
on my mind and I have cleared most of that so
like my goals have been met for the most part
and I feel like I've been kind of reflecting
on like is it worth it like has this been worth
it and I mean guess so like just just for the
sake of like the fact that I have a vacation
coming up and That I've been able to clear my
credit card debt which I like would not have
been able to do with just one job you know cuz
I just like I I'm not good with money and it's
something I need to work on truly cuz like I
Don't have a budget. I don't really Budget myself.
I kind of just like spend money when I want to
and I'm not going crazy But you know, I like
I have no problem transferring money from the
savings to the checkings and then I'm I check
my savings and I'm like, oh So yeah, I mean is
it worth it like I guess but like I will never
do that again I That was a new low and Yeah,
the physical exhaustion is just crazy like especially
when I'm working my my job at night and I get
home at like 10 30 I'm in bed by 11 and I'm waking
up the next day at 4 and then I have a full work
day like You can only run on like five hours
of sleep for so long and it's like the thing
is it's like yes You can do it It's possible
and I've talked to people before who were like
I only need five hours and I'm like, okay Sure,
whatever and it's like yeah, I have been running
on you know, five six hours of sleep you can
do it but it's definitely not good for you and
I don't want to do this long term because I am
exhausted and just genuinely unhappy like And
I just haven't been social because it's like,
I want to be social. And then I'm like, wait,
I'm actually tired and I'm a shell of myself.
So it's a lot. And that's kind of also, I think,
a big reason why the podcast has been like in
the back of the mind. Because I've just been
fucking busy, but I'm tired of talking about
it. So let's move on. But yeah, that's exciting.
I guess that's like been the newest stuff in
my life. I... Let's talk pop culture a little
bit because I saw Wuthering Heights last night
with my friend shout out Ethan and I had no interest
in seeing the movie. I've seen the press about
it You know cuz like Margot Robbie has been talking
a lot about it and she's been saying some like
crazy shit and being like Yeah, I just I can't
do her accent either. She's Australian I'm not
really good in Australian accent, but she's been
just talking about how like She's I guess the
role has made her feel like some sort of like
she said something where she was like I find
myself looking for him and like He did this and
it was the most romantic thing. Whatever Margot
Robbie is married. So let's let's clear the air
on that but Yeah, I saw this press. I knew that
Jacob already was in it I knew that it was some
sort of romance and so I think that was probably
the biggest reason why I was not interested I
don't like romance. I don't like romantic books.
I don't like romantic movies. I don't like love
stories I don't like rom -coms. I don't like
seeing other people happy and in love it doesn't
Does not spark joy for me. I don't want to see
that. I want it to happen to me, but Yeah, so
I was like, I don't care about this movie, but
my friend Ethan was like we should go see it
and I was like, you know, let's let's try it
out and I I Am attracted to Jacob Elordi Because
I love a tall man and That is a tall man. The
only thing I really know him from is euphoria
where he's playing like a terrible guy but he's
attractive in that and I also watched Saltburn
which is I literally don't remember anything
from that movie besides the bathtub scene where
the character is like licking the bat like licking
the fucking bathtub after Jacob Lordy's character
takes a bath or whatever the fuck happens so
yeah that and I went into the movie blind and
know what it was about never seen a trailer and
I will say I'm not gonna spoil anything. I mean,
there's really nothing to spoil but That shit
that was a steamy movie. I feel like I don't
usually watch Sexy like movies like that. I feel
like sex scenes in movies already even if it's
like a one -off like kind of make me feel awkward
and uncomfortable like I don't know and Yeah,
I mean I feel like that's pretty normal. It's
just like Okay, especially when you're in a theater.
It's like all right like we're just all watching
this together um But it was fucking it was steamy
and for the first half of the movie they were
both poor and Jacob Elordi was not doing it for
me like he he had this like long beard and he
was super like dirty and just you know looked
a little bit grimy and seedy. But then for the
second half of the movie, they both got rich.
They both inherited some money. I guess? I don't
know. Is that a spoil? I don't know. I don't
know. Sorry. If that's a spoil, I don't know.
I don't really care. It's honestly, like, the
plot does not matter. But in the second half
the movie they they got money so they they cleaned
up and Let me tell you Jacob Elordi he he was
like missing a tooth and he like didn't have
one of his teeth as a kid and he Grew up and
then also still didn't have the tooth when he
got rich he put a gold tooth so he had one gold
tooth on the side and he had this like gold hoop
earring and he was just looking so good and he's
just so big like that's I have nothing to say
about the movie besides the fact that Jacob Elordi
is so big and large and ginormous and tall and
massive and gargantuan And I really liked that
It was great. It was great. Jacob will already
come over here Yeah, I don't know it was a very
it was it was it was steamy it was I was in that
theater like Getting a little little warm But
it was cool, I mean, yeah, I definitely would
not go into the movie for any sort of plot or
storyline it was a beautiful movie like You know
beautiful landscapes. Margot Robbie is gorgeous.
Um, but yeah, it was kind of just like It was
just a horny movie, um So yeah, that's the most
recent movie I feel like I haven't seen a movie
in a minute the last movie I saw before that
was The Shining and I had never seen it before
which is kind of crazy because I'm I'm a horror
movie buff and I haven't seen Most of the classics
because I just haven't seen so many things. I'm
like bad at watching movies. I feel like I've
talked about this But yeah, that's Wuthering
Heights. If you're into Jacob Elordi, you will
definitely enjoy We're in a filler crisis you
guys we're in a filler we're just in a plastic
surgery crisis and I think everyone's aware and
Have a lot of thoughts about this and I my thoughts
have changed because I feel like I used to be
like You know women can do whatever they want
and obviously women are not the only people who
get plastic surgery, but I think most Women make
up the majority of people who are getting cosmetic
procedures and I mean I think the plastic surgery
industry it's a billion dollar industry that
profits off of making women feel insecure and
I think it's bad for a lot of reasons I think
it's bad because it stems from white supremacy
I think it's bad because it's just another thing
that women like feel pressure to do to just be
perfect and look a certain way and I think also
trends change and one day it's it's in to be
skinny and then one day it's in to be thick and
then one day it's in like it's just a fucking
train wreck But I have seen my friends were talking
to me about Jim Carrey and I was like, oh lord
Jim Carrey if y 'all have not seen him recently
he has gotten like an insane amount of filler
and he looks like I don't like he looks just
filled like that's really the best way to describe
it and I don't know it just like really Just
am confused by it. Like it just doesn't make
sense to me, especially the filler craze Because
it's just like it does not look good and I don't
understand why you would want to just Fill your
face like people who get a lot of filler they
look Their faces look big and they look puffy
and they look round and it looks like a pillow
And it's not attractive and it's really freaky.
And I think there's just a level of body dysmorphia
that you have to be experiencing Once you start
getting plastic surgeries, you know, you I don't
know if y 'all ever watch like botch i've never
seen like the whole thing, but I would always
watch clips on youtube, but like Yeah, you would
see these people who look insane and they're
like, yeah, I want I want more, you know it I
feel like you're just constantly trying to fill
this void and it just makes me so sad and then
I also saw I don't follow the Kardashians or
the Jenners because I'm an adult and I have responsibilities
and like things in my life that I care about
um and yeah like when I was a teenager like I
definitely was not like not obsessed with them
or anything Near that but I would like follow
them and I knew what was happening in their lives
because they're just like Just this weird family
that like everyone seems to be like clocked into
But I don't follow them anymore. I was on scrolling
on Instagram and I just saw someone post like
a picture of Kim K and It's it's pretty recent
on her Instagram. She's like laying down and
it's like two pictures of her face and the the
Kardashians and the genders are particularly
interesting to me because They I mean they're
rich as fuck obviously and so they have access
to I'm sure just the best plastic surgeons and
the best technology But I really truly need to
know What this is like they do the tiniest little
tweaks and they do it on purpose. I think so
that you don't clock it, but they do tiny little
changes to their face like every like three and
a half weeks to where you look at them and you're
like hmm like something looks a little different
but I also if you asked me what it was I couldn't
tell you and it's like you still look pretty
but it's like something is different something
is off and like that's what was going on with
Kim K where like she just she just looked different
like her Her eyes or her eye area was more like
pulled back or something and like something with
her nose was different like I don't know but
it's just truly disturbing to me because it's
like when are you going to be satisfied and especially
with Kim Kardashian like she's always been pretty
like you look at pictures of her as a teenager
like she's been gorgeous and She's pretty now,
but it's just like girl. How much shit do you
have to do before you just stop like Don't know
it just freaks me out and we're just in a time
right now Oh my god, and don't even get me started
on the fucking GLP ones and everyone just getting
sickly thin but like it's just a scary time to
be living in and It is truly It's an act of radicalism,
but it's also like just literally doing nothing
but like I love when Someone is just they just
look the way that they look and that's alright
like It's okay, it's oh Okay, and don't get me
wrong if you would have asked me ten years ago
as you know a 13 year old or whatever like if
you would ask me as a teenager Hey Caitlin, like
You know, you don't have to pay like what do
you want? What what procedure search do you want?
I probably could have named at least five things
like I definitely was like I want to get my forehead
reduced I Also like was 13 years old and looking
at the Kardashians and the Jenners and being
like Why does my body not look like that and
it's like well your body doesn't look like that
because you're going through puberty and Also,
their bodies don't look like that but I probably
would have told you a BBL like I could have given
you a bunch of different things and now that
I'm an adult and I I'm growing into my face and
I'm growing into my like adult body I think I
look great and I don't think I would ever get
anything done. I have had little teeny tiny tiny
little thoughts where I'm like maybe when I'm
like 40, you know, because the girlies are always
talking about preventative Botox and that That
is the only one that somewhat makes sense to
me because I've seen some like people on tik
-tok And you know people could be lying, but
I've seen some people who are like a little bit
older Maybe 40s, maybe 50s who look really good
and people are like, what do you do? And they're
they're like, you know retinol first. It's like
skincare. They're like I wear sunscreen I do
retinol or no one or whatever and then I've also
gotten you know, a little bit of preventative
Botox and I'm like hmm like okay like I can I
can see that you know, but I don't know because
that's the only thing is like I honestly love
the way that I look I just want to preserve it
like I just want to look like this for the rest
of my life, you know, so if that's a Botox can
do then like that makes more sense to me, but
it's also like do it when you're I mean, I don't
know they say it's preventative, but it's like
you literally see girls like 20 that are like
I'm getting preventative Botox. It's like bitch
grow like You're You're just like I don't know
it's just it's too much and I'm just really sick
of seeing celebrities pop out with new faces
like every week, it's very creepy and It just
it also just doesn't look good It's like it's
one thing if you look good and I think the best
plastic surgery is when you don't you can't tell
that someone got it done, you know, like If you
see someone and you're just like they're pretty
or they have they have a nice body or whatever
That's plastic surgery done well, but like I
feel like if you can look at someone and you're
like you got a lot of shit done That's disturbing
to me and I don't know Maybe that's problematic
to say maybe it's not that's just kind of my
stance. I'm also a feminist and I think It's
not Beneficial for women in the grand scheme
of things and you can say all day that oh i'm
doing this for me and i just want this and it's
like okay well why do you want this especially
when it comes to like nose jobs like why do you
want a nose job why do you want to get rid of
your ethnic nose like who told you that who why
do you not like your nose you know like it doesn't
you didn't just fall out of a fucking coconut
tree these things do not exist in a vacuum everything
stems from white supremacy everything stems from
patriarchy and yeah clock it y 'all need to wake
up um moving on Tyra Banks is evil and I We have
just got to talk about it because I Don't know
if y 'all saw but Tyra Banks J. Manuel Mrs. J
Nigel the people who were on America's Next Style
Model They released a documentary Did I watch
it? No, I did not. Am I going to talk about it?
Yes, I absolutely am. Because I haven't seen
any of the newer seasons of America's Next Top
Model, but the older seasons in high school or
college, I don't even know when I was tapping
in, but like I was watching it. And I think I
was definitely either like a late teen or like
an adult when I started getting into America's
Next Top Model. So seeing it from like an adult
lens I think was kind of nice and also the lens
of like watching it you know probably in like
2020 -2021 like way after these seasons have
aired and yeah I mean if you never saw the show
it was basically Tyra Banks you know supermodel
trying to find America's next style model and
gathering girls from all over putting them in
a house and basically making them embody the
lives of models, you know, getting up early,
going to go -sees, doing photo shoots, doing
all these different things, different challenges.
And the show has gotten a lot of pushback and
a lot of, especially recently, a lot of like...
Is fleck the word? Is that a word? I don't, I
hear people, I don't know. People criticize the
show because... Tyra Banks is evil and She is
an emotional terrorist and I stand by this like
I fully fully fully stand by this The show was
terrible in so many ways and obviously if you
know anything about the fashion industry today
But especially like in the 90s and the 2000s
being a model has been for the majority like
since its conception being a model has been about
being extremely thin you see these girls who
are five nine five ten and up who are tiny you
know like just very very skinny and tyra would
always she would always like address that and
be like like she would always address things
about the fashion industry be like, you know,
this is how it is and this is what it is and
this is what it is, but it's like she didn't
she wasn't really trying to challenge that in
any way, especially as A supermodel who like
now has the power to like you're facilitating
your own World with this show and it's like I
understand the concept of trying to prepare these
girls for the industry that they want to step
into and letting them know like hey, this is
how it is, but Feel like she just kind of She
just perpetuated the same things that were perpetuated
against her and The show is terrible one for
for just like the whole thinness thing like Tyra
would have girls on there who were you know?
women who had like normal average body types
and She would be like yeah so you would definitely
be like a plus size model you know like she would
tell these girls like you are a plus size model
and there's nothing wrong with being a plus size
model the problem is that these girls were not
plus size in any way they were normal weights
at their large heights but in the fashion industry
that is seen as like you're big you're plus size
you're fat whatever and so that was something
that she would do she also Was known for doing
photo shoots where she would make the girls switch
races. It's like oh you're white Okay, you're
gonna be playing you're gonna be a black person.
You're gonna be Asian like she would do stuff
like that and You know the earlier seasons were
I think like 2003 something like that like very
early, you know 20 plus years ago and Okay, let
me not let me let me just get through these points.
So yeah, she would do that She would like to
do like a race switch or whatever She also I
think another way that she would just fucking
psychologically torture these women is that On
America's Next Top Model they would do a makeover
She would pick the girls that she wanted for
the season and then shortly after that she would
give them an extreme change, a makeover, a haircut,
whatever, to make them look more model -like,
you know, to make them go from, like, basic to,
like, high fashion model. A lot of times, that
meant cutting their hair. And she would give
girls, like, really short haircuts, like, shave
heads, or maybe, I don't know, she definitely
probably shaved a couple heads, but, you know,
she would take a girl... And it was like she
was doing on purpose like she I think there was
one season where there was a girl who had really
long hair and she was really attached to it and
Tyra was like she make she gave her like a pixie
cut and It's like Okay, like sure that's fine.
But then sometimes she would do these extreme
makeovers and then she would send the girls home
Packing like the next week. So it's like oh you
like your long hair. Oh, you're attached to your
long hair Okay, well, we're gonna cut it all
off and we're sending you home back to Nebraska.
Bye. Bye like that was the show and The makeovers
would get more extreme than that. Like there
was one season where And it's so fucked up. There
was one season, I don't remember, it was maybe
season three or two, it was an early season,
and there was this girl, I believe her name is
Danielle, and she had a gap in her tooth, in
her front teeth, and Tyra wanted to remove the
gap. She wanted to remove the gap, and this girl
was like, no, I don't want to, like this is me,
this is who I am, like I... You know, she probably
at some point was insecure about it, but at that
point she was like, I love this about me. Like
I don't want to change it. And Tyra was like,
you know, basically like, I mean, okay, do you
want to be on the show? Do you not want to be
on the show? She filled in this girl's gap. And
then here's the gag. Later down the line, like
in later seasons, she gave a girl a gap. She
gave a girl a gap. So it's like you're taking
away this girl's gap. And then the next season
you're giving like, it's just like, she's just
She's just bored. She's just doing shit to do
shit and I don't think that is cool And there
was also I think maybe in that same season or
another season like around three where This other
girl went underwent some like very intense dental
work and I think is still struggling with it
like to this day So Yes, there's that and then
I think also just the greater theme. Tyra is
just like... Yes, I understand that this is how
the fashion industry allegedly is, but if y 'all
know who Janis Dickinson is, she was, I guess,
one of the first or the first supermodel ever,
and she was on the show, and also, by the way,
botched, got so much plastic surgery, just a
mess. but she was one of the judges on the show
and she would drag these girls for filth and
just like talk about their appearance and just
say the most like horrible things to them and
it was just a really terrible show there was
also an incident where they were on a trip to
Italy or somewhere doing some shit and and this
is talked about in the documentary but one of
the models she said she got really drunk she
had like two bottles of wine and you know these
girls These girls way less than me. So that is
insane. Like they're she was blacked out and
She basically said that She there was this guy
maybe a male model they went in the bathroom
They were engaging in some some things, but she
doesn't remember it So, you know, she basically
got assaulted on television and they brought
that up to tyra on this documentary and tyra
was like Yeah, I remember that but You know,
that's more like I'm not that's more like production
and that's not really like my you know side of
things Meanwhile, it literally is her and it
says in the fucking bottom right corner Tyra
Banks executive producer like mama You are a
part of production. Also, even if you're not
a part of production, this is your show So you
do have a responsibility to be overseeing these
things It doesn't you don't need to be knowing
about the the ins and outs of production, but
you should like maybe like step in and you know
not allow this like inebriated girl to do something
with this man and then also it was really fucked
up like on the show after this happened so this
girl had a boyfriend at home and Tyra I guess
the next day went on this monologue about cheating
and then this girl that had had this experience
with this man like was not reacting well and
tyra was basically like what like did you cheat
and she made this girl call home and tell her
boyfriend that she cheated on him so just terrible
and from the clips that i've seen tyra's whole
energy is kind of like it was a different time
then and it was just different and it was diff
and it was this and it was that it doesn't really
matter yes it was a different time but you still
have to take accountability for it now and I
feel like she was just taking no accountability
she's just evil she gives me narcissistic vibes
um and she also she likes to seem like the victim
and like the underdog and she's constantly talking
about like I was the awkward girl and I didn't
have any friends and Naomi Campbell she bullied
me and she did this and it's like you're a grown
ass woman you're like 50 years old like get the
fuck over it um and stop being insane also she
has like her hot ice cream like i don't know
she she has to be going through something i don't
trust her um she's a green -eyed demon and yeah
i probably won't be watching the documentary
like because i just don't really i mean i'm interested
why i also just don't want to watch like three
hours of her just like passing the baton and
like no one taking accountability for anything
But yeah, I don't know. I wanted to talk about
that because she's just a mess. She's a mess
to me and I don't like her. And I feel like I
also like that was my little pop culture segment.
Okay, pop culture segment over. I deleted TikTok
off of my phone like maybe a month ago. Don't
I honestly don't remember it's it's been a minute
though Because I got fed up y 'all and this is
this is going because like I said in the beginning
of this episode I was listening to my most recent
episode back the other day and it was about my
dopamine addiction and how I dopamine max and
how I do these things and I scroll on tik -tok
and I feel like shit and whatever and Can say
with confidence like I think being off of tik
-tok has really helped my brain like truly And
it's like am I a bit out of the loop like yes,
like I don't really know what people are talking
about right now I don't there's nothing. I'm
on where I feel like I'm really getting like
You know just like what what what the happenings
are but I feel like I can say I've I have never
felt more free and I do think I want to fully
just delete my account but I have so many saved
videos so I do kind of just want to like skim
through and see if there's anything that I must
save or like you know whatever because that's
the thing about TikTok it it can be very informative
for just like random shit cooking hair makeup
beauty tutorials like anything you know if you
want I do some, I do use TikTok as a search engine
or I used to like, cause it is just, there's
a lot of information on there, but I'm like over
the doom scrolling and I literally, I downloaded
it last night just because I wanted to see what
people were saying about Wuthering Heights. So
I downloaded it and I was like, let's just see
what the fuck's going on. And. Scrolling was
obviously weird because I haven't been on it
in so long. So like my for you page was like
blank Like it wasn't anything that I would be
interested in and then as I scrolled a little
bit more I guess it started, you know the algorithm
with whatever so freaky, but I was on it for
maybe 20 minutes maybe and I was just like yeah,
I'm not missing anything really and It's just
so bad for the psyche to be scrolling and just
be allowing your algorithm to decide what you're
gonna see and especially if you're like at any
point but like before you go to bed right when
you wake up like seeing like terrible things
happening in the world and then hearing like
discourse about some stupid shit and seeing so
many people's like opinions like it really is
not necessary and I have felt so good like since
I've been off of it just like Literally having
just having my own thoughts and not like Seeing
so like hearing so many other people's like takes
on everything like all the fucking time. It's
annoying So that's been good I also have been
on Twitter in a minute. I feel like I'm more
Open to having Twitter cuz Twitter I feel like
it's very funny, but then it's also the same
thing like you can just see stupid discourse
bullshit and whatever but Yeah Relationships
are being You know relationships are being I
Don't sorry me when my brain is shutting down.
I'm tired you guys I'm Have been up since 430
but um Yeah, it's been good. I'm I'm happy Well,
I'm happy now. I'm happy in this present moment.
Um I've been just trying to tap in to other hobbies
and one of my New Year's resolutions actually
was and is to read two books a month and I have
I was successful for the month of January and
then for February I finished one book the second
book that I started I have not finished yet but
I definitely could finish in like very soon so
whatever I'm just i'm just gonna pretend like
i did um because that's okay it's fine but that's
been good um reading and trying to like fall
in love with reading again and yeah just having
like a form of entertainment where there's no
ads and i can read a page read a sentence and
i can just like think about it and simmer on
it and it's just like I feel like slowing my
brain down and allowing some space. So yeah,
I've been doing that, I've been reading, I've
been doing my Spanish, which I talked about,
because my resolution last year was I want to
be fluent in Spanish. That did not happen, okay?
And that's okay. But this year, I really want
to be, and especially I'm going to Columbia in...
less than a month. So I want to be able to talk
to people in some capacity, which I think I can.
But that's been exciting because I do really
want to know multiple languages. I think that's
so cool. And I'm at a point in my life where
I genuinely, thoroughly need connection and want
connection and want to connect with people. And
I think like learning languages is such an Such
a cool way to do that and like yeah, just be
able to speak to people of different cultures.
Like I think that's awesome. So I've been doing
that it's hard. I I haven't been consistent like
every day, but most days I've been really trying
to practice So that's been good and I'm just
excited to tap back into the pod I missed Talking
to myself for an hour uninterrupted and Yeah
2026 is the year of creativity in the year of
stepping into what brings me joy because I would
get so excited to record and to just like do
this and I really need to hold on to that because
it's very rare that I'm excited about things
but I think this is a good point to wrap up.
My eyes are genuinely closing and I am exhausted,
but I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I hope
it was funny or entertaining in any way. And
we'll hopefully meet again in a week. TTYLXOX.