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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills

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to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.

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As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients.

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When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find

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that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research

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program.

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Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit.

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However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs.

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For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians

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the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.

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Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene.

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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast.

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I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is such a pleasure to be talking with you today.

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Thank you for this opportunity.

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Now, I am talking today about why you should stay in the game, why you should stay in the

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game, and I'm betting that there are a couple of people listening to me right now who are

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really discouraged.

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And I will tell you that this journey is hard and you need support along the way.

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And that is why I recommend academic negotiation coaching for you, because it helps you negotiate

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your academic career so that you can build a research program that actually has impact

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and you can thrive in the career that you're building.

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And much of that happens in the space of community.

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And at Academics Negotiate, we have community that helps people thrive and helps people

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grow, build research programs that are actually worth it.

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So if you need a community, if you need the support that helps you move forward, you should

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sign up on our website, ClinicianResearcherpodcast.com slash negotiate.

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And definitely check us out and let's see how we can help you move your career forward.

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Okay.

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So why you should stay in the game.

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Now they tell you you shouldn't say should.

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But why would you want to stay in the game when it is so, so hard?

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When I started my career in academic medicine, I really wanted to do research and I just

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wasn't qualified to do it.

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I mean, I wasn't qualified by the standard and I didn't have enough publications.

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I didn't have funding.

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And so no one could make a case for me or so I was told that I would succeed in research.

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And so, you know, I have this clinical career and I was trying to make research work and

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there are a lot of late nights and trying to tame the clinic and a lot of grant submissions

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and grant rejections and a lot of manuscript attempts and difficulty finding time to write.

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And a lot of trying to make my clinical work happen alongside building a research career

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and holy cow, it was so hard.

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But I kept persevering because I could still see the goal was attainable.

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I could still see it.

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But I finally got to a point where one day something happened.

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It was just a huge, you know, issue in my clinical space that caused me to pause and

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say, wait a minute, why am I here?

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It's like, what?

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Why am I here?

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This clinical thing is overwhelming, overbearing.

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I can't do it.

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I can't even do the research I actually came here to do.

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Why am I here?

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And I just in that moment, I quit.

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I wouldn't even tell you that I was thinking about quitting.

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I just quit.

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You know when you quit in your mind before you quit physically, like the quitting first

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of all happens in your mind and then you're like, okay, well, let's make the quit happen.

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Right.

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That's where I was.

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I quit.

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Like I wasn't thinking about quitting.

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I actually quit.

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And it's a long story to how I unquit, but I really did quit.

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And I'm betting that there is someone who's listening to me today who's really on the

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verge.

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You're like, I can't do this anymore.

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I can't take this.

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I could live a better life doing something more fulfilling.

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I can't do this.

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And I want to say, if that's you, this episode is especially written for you.

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And I want to ask you to not quit long enough to finish this episode.

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And it'll only be like maybe 20, 30 minutes, 40 if we get really, really friendly.

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Don't quit.

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Don't quit until you hear me out in this episode.

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Okay.

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I'm going to talk in this episode about five reasons to stay in the game.

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Just five.

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Just five.

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I like five and seven.

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Today it's just five.

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And I want you to hear me out on five reasons why you should stay in the game.

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The first reason that you should stay in the game is that the work you do matters.

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The work you do matters.

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I don't know you.

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I've probably not met you.

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I probably don't know the work you do, but I know it matters because I know your phenotype.

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Actually, maybe it's your genotype I know.

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You're a physician.

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What does that mean about you?

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You bypassed every opportunity to make crazy amounts of money upon graduating from college

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to take on this weird career that started first with medical school, entered through

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residency and came out through possibly fellowship to then say, I'm going to now spend more time

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devoting myself to the care of patients and spend more time than I'm actually paid to

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make it work.

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And you, you are the person who's chosen to move a research career forward.

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You are a person who sacrificed a lot to be where you are.

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For that reason, I know that the only work you would take on is work that matters because

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you're the kind of person who has a depth of feeling for other people.

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So much so that you sacrificed your twenties so that you could get good at saving people's

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lives.

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You do not do work that doesn't matter.

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And so the work you do really matters.

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I know it because I know your genotype as a physician and I know that physicians care.

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And if you've gotten to the point where you feel like your work doesn't matter, where

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you feel like you don't care, it's not true.

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You do care.

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Right now your care, your caring muscle may be hurt, maybe wrapped up in layers and layers

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of burnout and anger.

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And for that reason, you're like, I can't feel anything.

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I'm numb and therefore this work doesn't matter.

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But it does.

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You know it.

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Deep, deep, deep inside your burned out heart, you know this work matters.

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And I just want to encourage you to go back to your why.

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Go back to the reason you started this in the first place.

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Go back to why you chose this part of your career to move forward.

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You could have chosen so many other things.

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There's so many other specialties you could have chosen.

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There's so many other patient populations you could have chosen to work with and you

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chose this one because, because it matters.

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And I want to invite you to revisit what matters about the work you do.

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To revisit the thing that made you fall in love in the first place.

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To revisit the reason why you gave up sanity to do this thing called a clinician research

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or career.

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It's because it matters.

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You know it does.

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And you should revisit why.

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Number two.

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No one will move this work forward like you can.

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Yes, you may be doing work in diabetes and people have been doing work in diabetes for

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centuries now and will be doing work in diabetes centuries from now.

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But nobody is coming at it with the same kind of lens that you were coming at it with.

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Nobody is coming at it with the same perspective that you have.

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You are uniquely equipped and prepared to move this work forward.

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Maybe somebody else will catch a clue and move the work forward, but not like you can't.

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There's the special sauce that you bring.

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And it's a combination of many tangible and intangible things.

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Some of the easy stuff is that, okay, you came through medical school.

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You have the training.

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You did some research.

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You have expertise in this area.

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That's the easy stuff.

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Other people can replicate that.

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But the intangible stuff, the experience you had with diabetes in your family that makes

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you say that this is the area that you want to tackle, this is the lens that you bring

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to it, nobody can replicate that.

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The reasons why you're in this space moving the work forward like you're moving it forward,

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you're only going to have a different outcome from the people around you.

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And eventually, the work you do is going to complement the work of other people, but the

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work you do is uniquely you.

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You bring your signature to your work.

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Your work is not generic.

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It is uniquely tagged with your ID.

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Your work is uniquely yours.

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And if you don't move it forward, who is going to move it forward?

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You should stay in the game because no one can move this work forward like you can.

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That's number two.

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Number three is that you have identified a problem.

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And until you solve it, people will continue to have this problem.

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Now, here's the thing about clinician researchers is that they're clinicians first.

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And their research is birthed from the place of their clinical experience.

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You know how much this thing that you're tackling is a problem.

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Maybe you've gotten into the weeds of it so much that you've forgotten the problem that

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led you to the work.

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But this thing is a problem.

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And it was the problem that made you dissatisfied enough to say, I'm going to figure out how

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to answer this question and solve this problem.

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The problem bugs you.

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It bothers you.

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It bugs you and you know that if you solve this problem, it's going to be huge.

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You know.

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But until you solve this problem, people are going to continue to have it.

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And so whether you stay in the game or not, this problem will bug you.

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It'll be the thing that got away, the thing I wanted to solve, but I never could solve.

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The problem continues unless you stay in the game and solve it.

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And so I would encourage you to stay in the game because you have identified a problem

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that matters to you.

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Therefore, you have the tools, the gift, the persuasion, the perseverance to solve the

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problem.

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Even if you don't do it, the problem will not go away.

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And the fourth is that your ideas are worth fighting for.

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One of the frustrations, especially in leading us to think that we should quit, is just how

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hard it is.

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It is so frustrating.

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Why is it that the things that should be easy are not easy?

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Why is it that there are people standing in the way of work that is so awesome and so

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great?

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Why is it?

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Why is it that I have to fight just to stay above water?

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What is that?

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But your ideas are worth fighting for.

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Yes, you are worth the fight.

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Your ideas, the value you're creating, all of it is worth fighting for.

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And it doesn't feel good to fight.

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It feels so exhausting to fight over and over and over again.

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But your ideas are worth fighting for, and the reason they're worth fighting for is

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what exists on the other side of the battle.

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Satisfaction, deep fulfillment, great glory, awards and accolades.

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We don't do the fight for the awards, for the rewards, or for the accolades.

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We really do the fight for the deep sense of fulfillment knowing that we bet on ourselves,

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and the bet paid off big.

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And if you quit, you short circuit the process.

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You get out of the game before you win the game.

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Now I need to tell you that this game is rigged.

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You do win.

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At the end, you win.

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But you win only if you stay in the game and fight to the finish.

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And no, it doesn't feel good to fight.

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And sometimes you are just so drained.

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You're like, I can't do another battle and it's real.

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And this is why you don't fight on your own.

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This is why you don't fight without strategy.

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This is why you don't fight without community.

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The battle is real.

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But your ideas are worth fighting for.

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And the fact that you're in the space where you're feeling discouraged and you're feeling

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like you should probably quit, this is part of the fight.

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This may be the greatest part of the fight.

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The fight, the battle against your mind, the lies that fill your mind that says you're

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not good enough, that says you're an imposter, the lie that says that you can't hack it,

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the lie that says that you would be better off somewhere else, the lie that says that

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your patients could get along great whether you solve the problem or not.

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It's the big battle that you're really fighting.

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And the reason you're fighting it is because of what exists on the other side of the battle.

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And so reason number four why you should stay in the game is because your ideas are worth

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fighting for.

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Number five, number five, your own rule please.

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The fifth reason why you should stay in the game is because who you are becoming is so

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worth it.

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Who you are becoming is so worth it.

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Okay, you don't care for the battle scars.

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You do not care for the battles that you've had to fight.

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But man, look at you.

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Look at what you've become.

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Look at who you've become.

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Look at what you can do.

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And think back to three years ago, four years ago, five years ago before you started this

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process, who you were.

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You've changed.

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You've transformed.

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Goodness, your focus is sharper.

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Your ability to crystallize a question and answer is amazing.

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Look at you.

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You know the next set of experiments to plan out.

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Look at you.

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You're not afraid of no reviewer.

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You're not afraid like you used to be.

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You can look at like a rejection and be like, okay, let's move forward.

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You didn't used to be able to do that.

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You have changed.

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And it's not just that you've changed.

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You are still changing.

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Look who you're becoming.

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Oh my goodness.

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That is priceless.

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And that may be the biggest reason that you stay in the game.

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Because even though they are out to exhaust you, to bite you, and to push you out, the

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person you're becoming is so phenomenally awesome.

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You're so much more patient.

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You're able to see the bigger picture.

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You're able to put aside your differences.

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You're able to bring mentees together to accomplish great work.

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You are becoming an amazing person.

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And the journey has really just begun.

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You stay in the game, this game that challenges you.

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And there's so much more coming out on the other side.

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Oh my goodness.

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You know, you stay.

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You stay for you.

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You stay for who you become.

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You stay for the day you look in the mirror and say, whoa, here's looking at you, kid.

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You stay because who you're becoming is absolutely worth every fight that you have had to fight

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and the day is coming when you're not going to fight like you're fighting now.

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The day is coming where things are going to come easy for you.

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A day is coming where you're going to tell your story and other people who are struggling

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in the fight are going to be like, oh, I just want to be like you.

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And that's why you stay.

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Because who you're becoming is absolutely worth this experience.

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It feels horrible and wonderful and crazy and good all in the same word, all in the

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same sentence, all at the same time.

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It's crazy and it's amazing and it's chaotic and it's so cool.

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You love this game even when it frustrates you and you love it because of who you're

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becoming in the process.

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So I just want to invite you to think about who you were before you started this journey

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of becoming a clinician researcher.

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Think about what you already have and all the things you can do now relative to that

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time.

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Think about how much you like who you are.

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Deep down you love who you are.

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You know you're good.

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You know how awesome you are.

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You just know.

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Even when it feels like that's in doubt, you know.

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Just think about that person and just think about that person times 10.

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Think about that person times 3,000.

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That's who you could become if you just stayed.

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Stay in the game because you want to.

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Not because you have to, but because you want to.

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And I hope these five reasons have helped you think carefully about whether you quit

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or whether you stay.

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All right, you know somebody else who needs to hear this.

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Please share it with them.

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I look forward to talking with you again the next time.

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Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast where academic

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clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program whether or not they have

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a mentor.

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If you found the information in this episode to be helpful, don't keep it all to yourself.

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Someone else needs to hear it.

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So take a minute right now and share it.

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As you share this episode, you become part of our mission to help launch a new generation

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of clinician researchers who make transformative discoveries that change the way we do healthcare.