Darine: [00:00:00] Welcome to Beauty Babble. Today we're talking about being a solopreneur and what kind of boss you are to yourself. This is a very interesting topic, Suzanne, and I'm very excited to dive into it a little bit. Why don't you kick us off? I think you came across this. 
Suzanne: I did. I saw this little article and I thought, Oh my God, this is so true as a, you know, an entrepreneur.
So solopreneur, solopreneur, you know, the first thing on that article. And we can, we can highlight the article too, if we would like to, but I love saying if this was the requirement of your job, like if you were applying for this job, would you apply? And it says, must check work email first thing in the morning before you get out of bed.
Must be willing to work all hours of day and night. Must skip lunch breaks, eat while you're working. Must sacrifice friendship and hobbies I love. Must text, email with clients all day. Whenever they call or whenever they text, [00:01:00] right? Must not take any weekends and vacations off. Does that sound like a job you would want to apply for?
Like, no. And it brought back I shared it with you because it brought back a lot of memories when I was running my own spa and it's like, Oh my God, yes, I mind you then I didn't have to deal with texting because I, I had an actual offsite location that they had to actually call in to book or email and we.
You know, I have to say we did keep that pretty good for operating hours, you know, but I think in today's world that working from home and or out of a small boutique place, maybe. People are not doing this, and I thought, isn't that an interesting title? I love that. How, what kind of a boss are you to yourself?
And I think with mental health today and, you know, everything about it, I thought this should be something we should talk about. And I'd love to hear back from our audience, too, what they think if they resignate with this, you know? Absolutely. 
Darine: And [00:02:00] I think, you know, you go into working for yourself and thinking, you know, you're going to.
Have a better balance, but if you're not careful, it actually takes over your entire life. And then you catch yourself and you know, you're working instead of, you know, having dinner with your family or you're on your phone texting with the client or whatever it may be. And I think that just like you have rules or limitations in a traditional job, you should set those limitations for yourself as As an like a, a solopreneur, like I work from home and when my husband's home, he sometimes will come into the office and just want to chat.
And I'm like, no, I'm working that when that door is closed, that means I'm not here. I'm in the office. But you're here. I'm like, I pretend I'm not because if I was in, in actually at my place of work, you can't just walk in and talk to me. You can talk to me on my 
Suzanne: lunch break. [00:03:00] Right. And actually, now that you see that too, that's another thing that I find.
Clients, which, you know, I remember because people used to say to me, Suzanne, why don't you just open up a little place out of your house and just do your own thing. It's like, no, I don't think it'll go very well because I'm pretty, I was pretty strict. on hours and time. And I used to hear people when they would set up their own places, they would tell me, what do you think?
What do you think? And I'd say, make sure you set up your boundaries right away. These are your operating hours. I will not be responding to your text messages. After these hours, they will text you whenever they're thinking, because they think they have a direct contact with you. If you don't set up those boundaries right away, You're hooped.
How do you, how do you change it now when they're used to it? So you have to, you know, if, if this is you and you're hearing this right now, maybe this is your first goal. That's a big one is just say, you know what an update to my hours, my operating hours or this, I will respond. [00:04:00] So then you have to make sure if you are booking yourself back to back in those hours, you need time to respond to your clients too.
So, a half an hour before your day, but remember, they're going to respond back to you when they can. So it's that back and forth thing, that's why a lot of people just do their online booking now, which I think is a fabulous idea. It saves up so much time but Yeah, I think that would be one thing I would say if you could do anything for yourself is, is set the, set that up, have the boundaries, you don't want to deal with clients on your day off, it's a Sunday, you're, you know, maybe out with the family or friends or you're socializing or whatever it may be, or you're just by yourself and you want to read a book.
You know? For a walk, like, you know, so some things I think, how you can treat yourself better as a solopreneur is really important setting up those boundaries for yourself. 
Darine: I agree. And I think the one thing about text, which is not my favorite is there's an expectation of [00:05:00] immediacy when somebody texts when you're, you know, when somebody texts you and you're not responding.
So really having that clear communication in that your hours of operation include your text messaging and email is very important because just because it comes to your phone doesn't mean that you're available to answer it. 
Suzanne: Correct. I mean, but our whole society is turned into that immediate gratification.
Yeah. And that's what that means. They want to hear back right away. Absolutely. I know. And the other thing is, you know, when you are on your own, you're wearing a lot of hats, right? You're the service provider. You're the one that cleans up. You're the one that probably does your marketing, right? Your purchaser, your organizer, you're planning everything outside of work.
Are you a partner? Are you, you know, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a best friend, a mom, whatever it may be, an aunt. You know, like, or maybe you volunteer too, I don't know, but you wear a lot of different hats. And I [00:06:00] think, I always reference that I used to joke actually, I'd come into work and someone's, Oh, Susanna, so wait, wait, I haven't put my hat on yet.
Physically take it off. And okay, I'm ready, go. So that I could mentally prepare myself is, is, and that's how I got through it. I just wore my hats. You know, I love the physical 
Darine: action of that. 'cause it is like reminding you to get into a different frame of mind. It, it was, it's 
Suzanne: me. It's like, okay, hat's on.
Let's, let's do this. You know? 
Darine: Yeah. It's, I think especially too for like, currently people who work from home, like if you have your spa business out of your house, like I am, the work I do, I sit in front of a computer all day in my house, you know, so it's very easy to. Get those hats on top of each other, but you have to find a way that, you know, when you walk into your room, your treatment room at home, that you take that home hat off and you put your, you know, [00:07:00] business service provider hat on and that's what you're doing while you're in there and you're not thinking about the laundry or, or whatever.
I have laundry right now. 
Suzanne: Right. Another thing that speaking of that would come up, and I'm sure a lot of mums out there listening right now can hear this, especially if your children have phones, significant other, right, whatever, or your parents, whatever that may be, and they're texting you and you're not responding.
Next thing you know, they call you. So one thing that I set boundaries for at the beginning with my children was that you're calling because it's a crisis emergency. You're not calling to say, what can I eat for lunch? You're not just calling. It's the three B's. I call it the three B's. What's 
Darine: the three B's?
You can interrupt, if the kids are home and like I'm working, I'm like, you can only interrupt me if it's one of the three B's. Somebody's bleeding, somebody's barfing, or you're having trouble breathing. Anything else? Nope. Nope. Could not interrupt 
Suzanne: fire. Come get me. 
Darine: [00:08:00] I forgot about the fire, but I'll smell the smoke, but 
Suzanne: that's what I used to do.
And I see it in today's world. Like so many people there at work. Not just currently where I am just over the last, I don't know, probably even actually 10 years. Like when I go back to the school, when I was in the high school, it's like parents are texting their kids in class time. During class, and then they're, they're pissed off that their child is not responding.
I had a parent call in one time, we're in the middle of class, we're going through a review because there's an exam coming up, and she goes, Mom, I can't talk. She goes, I have to answer, she's, she's not going to stop calling. I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't understand this. I'm not understanding right now. I said, answer the phone.
I said, Mom, we're in the middle of class. You're interrupting us. We were being, Oh, it'll only take a second. I just need to talk to her. I said, and I said, she's hanging up right now. Click. Oh my gosh. She took it to the [00:09:00] off. She was 
Darine: in the wrong though. 
Suzanne: That's ridiculous. She went that far. I know. And obviously the principal, you know, I had my back on that and understood.
And so what was the emergency? You had to pick her up that you're going shopping. You pick her up every day. That's insane. You might have to tell her you're going shopping to the mall. That's why she called. 
Darine: That's ridiculous. Like, if it's a family emergency or something, you call the office and they pull the kid out of class.
Right? 
Suzanne: They don't get sending a text. Like, like I said to them, I said, here's the thing. You guys need to understand your future life here. This is what I was like. No wonder you don't turn anything off. Yeah. Because mentally that's not good for you. You're constantly on, on, on. This, that, this, that.
Distraction. No wonder there's no critical thinking today. No focus. No. You know what I mean? Like I did. Anyways, that's off topic, but you know, and so I see it. You know managers, bosses, like every, it's like, Oh, it's my kids again. I'm going to have to, isn't that what text is for? Like, I thought was a long ways that [00:10:00] mom I'm home from school, get it.
I get that. I needed my kids to call in. They didn't have phones back then. So long ago. But when they did have a phone, they would text and say, mom, I'm home. Cause I knew around three 30, they should be home. So I'd look at my phone. Good. I don't need to worry them. So I do understand all those things, but you still have to set boundaries.
If, if I, I don't know. 
Darine: I'd love to. Boundaries and expectations, not just with your clients, but with your family as well. 
Suzanne: For sure. But they, they only phoned for, but I had people who worked with me and over the years, even back then that, Oh, my kids are driving me crazy. Well, cause you're allowing it. Yeah.
You know, kids, you're teaching them the immediate response. So you've, you've done this all their life. So now it's going to continue on that way. Right. So how do you, into adulthood, into adulthood. Yeah. It's like, wow, this is amazing. So anyways, that's a [00:11:00] whole other thing. I guess it's up to you. Maybe you're the worrier, you know, some of the people I know were in this cycle, I'll call it.
They were very worried in a controlling kind of sense as well. Like they, they had to know everything going on at all times. And I, I was because of worry, right, but I still think then at that point, maybe you should, you know, this might sound crazy, but I would actually go talk to someone to see why am I like this?
Why am I so uptight, worried and panicky? And what's behind all that, you know, because yeah. There's a lot to that, I think, deeper level. But anyways, yeah. So, I'm just saying, you want your sanity, I like your three B's, add an F at work. And an F. Three B and an F. Because I said to them, I closed my office door, I said, this was my time, so as I did this evening with staff, I said, when you see the office door closed, please don't interrupt me.
It'll be short. I'll be an hour at maximum. Because then I, [00:12:00] uninterrupted one hour is valuable. You can get a lot done in that time. A lot done, especially if you have a list to go through, right? And I think, 
Darine: too, that's important because If you like as a service provider, it's one thing to be in the room with your client because you're going to be more focused.
You're going to be paying attention to your client. But the other things that you do, we were talking about this off like your marketing or your that actually takes a lot of brain power and creative thinking. And it's what I do for work, full time, and when somebody interrupts me mid that, it's so hard to get back to it.
And it's just like, it's really like being pulled out of something, and it's almost jarring. So having that door closed, so setting those boundaries for your other stuff too, not just when you're client. Like, when you're doing your bookkeeping, or your marketing, or whatever it is you're doing, to have that boundary.
I agree. In that time as well, because that thinking process, that [00:13:00] takes a lot of attention and you don't want to be interrupted. 
Suzanne: Yeah, because you're starting over. Yeah. I don't know about well you and I have talked about that. You're in the middle of writing something out or you're doing something. Oh yeah, and then your thought goes, oh this and that and this, oh this is perfect.
Good, that, this, that's normal behavior, I think. That's how my brain works. Me too. interrupts me, I go, Oh, and it's gone. It's like, Oh, where was I again? So sometimes if that's, you know, if you're, if you're listening to this right now, and that's you, you need to set up maybe short periods, maybe, you know, kids are young.
I get it. They can't, they can't be without you for that long. I mean, I can't imagine people doing this with really young children. That would be difficult out of your home where they're accessible to you. That's tough. So I get it. But if you could do short. And actually, you know, you're doing your, your kids a big favor to understand, to wait and be patient and then understand the difference [00:14:00] of when I have to do it, the B's and the F or can I wait, can this wait?
So that's that critical thinking side that you're creating, you know, I think it goes both ways. But. Anyways, that's a, the whole thing of that, I could just imagine, you know setting the time. For instance, my husband, he has his own business and has forever. And I remember when he started to the business concept of everything changed and then his office was out of the home and he would want to talk to me at night about things.
And it's like, I said, no, I don't know. Because when he, before he'd come home, it was done, like he might check email or something, but he was done in his day. Now. It comes home, not today, but years ago when you've changed it. And I said, okay, my brain doesn't work like that. Like when you get me to help you with things and strategize, and we're like planning and thinking, now my brain's back on.
Mm hmm. But he's good because he's got it off his brain because that's how he'd bring, he needs it off. [00:15:00] Yeah. I'm on. Well, now I'm wide awake. That's because 
Darine: you're a woman. I mean, my brain's like that. It never stops. So 
Suzanne: yeah. Yeah. And my kids know when it like, when they were really little, it's like eight o'clock and I used to say, Kate, it's bedtime, it's mummy time.
And I always made time at the end of the night, at least one hour for myself. It wasn't the healthiest hour because I would You know, watch Netflix or something, but it was the one thing that took my focus off me thinking. It's meaningless stuff to watch, but that's important though. I think that is, I needed to, yeah.
And some things were really like, like, like even to this day, because like, what are you watching? I just, I don't even know. I mean, what do you mean you're not watching? No, 
Darine: this is why I watch reality TV because it is the most mindless thing you can watch it doesn't like it doesn't get you thinking like there's shows that are if there's like drama in them or lost or something I'm like this is making me I cannot watch it like it's triggering [00:16:00] me so I just watch reality TV because I'm just like, okay, mindless.
But I think, okay, this leads us into our next point, which I want to, you brought it up with your husband, but it's about having a work day and set hours, right? So whatever they are to set yourself hours for, for me in my, my work, what I do, I actually, because sometimes I meet with clients and I have to go like do filming or whatever.
I have on my website a booking calendar where I've set dates, days of the week, and times. And I have one evening and one weekend. No, that's a lie. I don't do weekends. So I have one evening booking available. And then Three other, no, two other days a week. So I only have three days available where I'm able to book and meet with clients because I need all the other time to do the, the doing of the work.
Right. But if you set those for yourself, then [00:17:00] you are restricting your work day. to those hours that you'd set because otherwise people will be texting me and I'm like, okay, we'll meet tonight. Okay. I'll meet, you know, and then I've ended up doing like three nights in one week, which I didn't want to do.
Right. So I think that works as a service provider too, like having, when I did aesthetics, I worked a week, I worked at one day, a weekend, I work one night a week, and then I work weekdays as well. So I can meet my clients in what's available to them and having that for yourself as You're, you know, if you're working out of your house or renting a space, to set your hours, however, if it's your life and your clients, but sticking 
Suzanne: to those times.
Exactly. You know, I think too sometimes what may help is, and I don't know, people are probably going to think, Oh my God, but what if they need to contact you, is to turn off your phone. I mean, notification wise, not off, off, right? But turn off so you're not hearing it. Yes. So you don't hear [00:18:00] it coming in, you're like, who's that, what's going on, what is this?
Totally 
Darine: distracting. You're not present for 
Suzanne: whatever you're doing. It's difficult because I know some people who, they don't have an open door, they're in their home, right? So it's locked. It's like, then, then you still can offer and say, just let me stay in your car. Text me when you're here and I will text you when I'm ready for you to come in.
You have to just think of ways around these things. And once you start that habit, it's so much better and so much easier for that for yourself too, because your clients will understand and they'll just wait and 
Darine: they get used to it too. 
Suzanne: They know the system. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's a big part too.
But I know it's tough. Like you say, you've got kids. You know, how do you, you can't really turn it off per se because you're worried, right? But yeah, I think like a few things we touched on is important. And then one thing too is, you know, if you work for somebody, typically they have [00:19:00] some sort of a bonus.
I don't mean tangible, like money wise, just something about it, like a recognition or a thank you, a perk. Things like that. Like, don't get crazy because it's expensive world we're in, right? But what are some things you could do for yourself? What's a perk for yourself? Like, I remember a big one was, I'm a person that I can just work and eat right through my whole day.
And people say, yeah, but that's not good for you. I said, well, but maybe that's not good for you. But for me, I can finish my day an hour earlier. Because I'm committed to cutting the day off at that time. There's a difference. Do you see what I mean? Now, there's some days where I'll go, Yeah, you know what? I need 15 minutes.
I'll get up and I'll go for a walk. So I clock out, as they say. And then come back. But I think really honing in on your needs, you need to sit down and figure out what makes you tick. Yeah, [00:20:00] right. Because at some point health wise, like that's why mental health is almost a crisis. Today's, you know, we haven't brought down the cortisol.
We have like, we're just, it's on all the time. Our heads are on all the time. And I think it's that hustle culture, 
Darine: right? Like, I think as a mom who works from home, Yeah. And is self employed. I feel like if I am, if my kids are at school, I should be working. Like, I should be taking advantage of the time to work.
But recently, I started doing where, like, Thursdays my kids are half day at school. So, not every Thursday, but at least once a week. a month. I take that morning off and I give myself a break and I have two and a half hours in the morning to myself. I don't clean my house. I don't do anything else. I just do something for myself and usually it's nothing exciting, but I'm just chilling and that's what I need to do.
Suzanne: But that's, you recognize what you need. And I was just going to say, like, that's a perk for [00:21:00] yourself. And maybe that maybe one day it'll be where you can do it every week for a little bit. Right. Like, but I mean, I get it. You start somewhere like once a month, that's, that's good. That's a great start. Right.
Maybe, you know, because of the hours and the changes and the PD days and all that stuff, it's hard to do, but yes, specific set aside. And then what will you do for yourself? Yeah. And what's the treat? Now, doesn't, like I said, think outside the box. It doesn't have to be tangible all the time, you know? I remember a friend of mine that said, I, you know, it's winter, it's cold outside, and I don't feel like going to the gym, so we go to the mall, walk, and just window shop, if you can control yourself, I guess.
I love window shopping. Whatever that may be, or once a month, you take that one day off completely for yourself. Maybe it's a, you know, lunch with a friend, or. You know what I mean? Like, I think it's important to do those kinds of perks. It's just so good for your soul and for your mind, you know? You gotta feed yourself within.
It's investing in yourself, right? Absolutely. 
Darine: [00:22:00] I think you forget that when you're working for yourself. You think you gotta work all the time, and you don't. 
Suzanne: You know, on that side too, it's like, people, cause I, I'm always, As you saw, I came across this article and I loved it, but I'm always reading and learning and that feeds my soul.
I love that. So I look at that as investing in myself. You know, continuing education is important to me. And I think that's something that we forget that that is something that feeds you because you'll learn ideas from people. Like maybe you're, if you're listening to this podcast right now, this is a perk to yourself that you're listening and maybe hearing somebody else talk about something, isn't work related.
Okay, fair. Yes, it is, but it's different. Right. Like it's, hopefully you're getting some ideas for yourself, but plus, you know, like I said, you know, invest in yourself, your education, it will help whether whatever it, maybe it's to meditate. Maybe it's a workshop on Reiki, maybe it's a workshop on [00:23:00] reflexology, you know, or downtime or how to organize myself or like, whatever it may be, you're still like learning and I get that, but you're investing into yourself.
That's how I see it. But yeah, 
Darine: yeah, I agree 100%. I love going to I tried to do like a work, I do online workshop sometimes. And there's like, I'm sure with aesthetics, and there was I remember going to trade shows and stuff for aesthetics, but Those were fun. And it's also about just meeting new people.
And it's a work trip. So you can like, you know, 
Suzanne: actually, and that's what I loved about when we would have product knowledge classes, like with the skincare line we had, I forgot how many times a year we would do this. It was so much fun. It was a day off. I get it. And, and the staff ended up enjoying it because they met other people and learned at the same time and they, they could bring something back, but it fed them that.
Even something small, they learn something all the time, but the big part was [00:24:00] to meet other people and see, look at all the people that are actually doing the same thing as me, right? And I think people forget that, especially if you're by yourself. 
Darine: Oh, absolutely. I just thought of something else too. Okay.
When I used to do aesthetics, I would do trades with my friend who was a hairstylist, so she'd do my hair and I'd do something for her. And recently I went to on work trip to Vancouver and when I was there, I got there early so I couldn't check into the hotel. So I went to a spa and I got my nails done.
I got a pedicure and when I came back, my cousin was like, well, I love your nails. Did you do them yourself? I'm like, no, I went to a spa. She's like, why would you go when you can do them yourself? I'm like, Because I didn't want to do that myself. But I think we also forget about that as service providers.
You think if I'm not trading, then I'm doing it myself. But sometimes you just need to go and just get a treatment and pamper yourself. And even I don't even tell anyone that I do aesthetics because I don't want to have to talk biz or anything like that. And I'm just like, [00:25:00] do you just sit there? I'm here to relax.
And we forget that as service providers. Like, when was the last time you had a 
Suzanne: facial? Well, I know that I did not long ago. I'm so proud of myself. Yeah, you did my last one, 
Darine: my Gua Sha one, but when I was doing, when I was doing aesthetics full time, never would have been my answer. Like last time I had training, I don't know, like it was, it would go a very long time unless it was a trade, but I don't want to get a facial and then get up and give a facial.
Suzanne: You know what I'm saying? But that's what you take on that day off or something, right? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's tough. I mean, you know, a lot of, a lot of things to take, I guess, but, you know, set a goal. I think is a good one is like, Hey, what out of all this information, what should I do first? What, what would help me with my time?
I sanity, what would feed me the best? What would, and I mean, some people that don't resonate with that and I'm okay with that. That's fine. But setting yourself up with a simple goal that you can take out [00:26:00] of all of this to help yourself because you need to treat yourself better as sole entrepreneurs, because that's a lot of people have gotten into this industry because they think, Oh, it's so amazing.
You can set your own hours. You can take vacation when you want. You can, you know, you're helping people, you know, and I sound so sarcastic, but That's legitimate. We're all gone into this industry are still in the industry because we want to help people and care about them. Right. But we forget about ourselves.
Absolutely. I think that's a huge part, especially if you're a mom, or, you know, with a partner of some sort, like, you know, maybe your parents are older, right? I mean, there's so many things you don't take care of yourself, you're no good to anybody else. That's 
Darine: a hundred percent. If you drain yourself, you can't give, you can't give to your clients or your kids or your partner.
Suzanne: Right. And a big one that resonated with me once when I had my kids, like we're really, really small. It was probably Oprah. I used to watch Oprah all the time. [00:27:00] She was one that made that comment about take care of yourself first or else you're no good for anyone else. It's like, yeah, that's true. The other one was you're setting the example for your children.
I went, yeah, what am I? What did they see? That I'm doing and how I behave and, you know, I used to go up to them really little, say mommy had a really day chipped to D bad day. So, and I'd be down on my knees and talking about how they were just young and really small. So I just need. a little bit of quiet while I cook dinner.
You guys can go watch TV. I didn't care about that. Whatever tube time, like, you know what I mean? What's the difference? They're on their iPods now and their, and their iPhones and their tablets. And what's the difference of TV and that nowadays, it's the same concept anyways. And then they [00:28:00] would start like having a little tiff with each other and said, Oh, what did mommy ask you guys just for 15 more minutes?
It's half of your show. Just till the end of your show. So I kept those guidelines and I just, just had to turn it off because it can be stressful days and I didn't want to take it out on them. I knew I'd probably start yelling and I didn't want to start. And you would, 
Darine: if you didn't actually preempt it with something like that, you'd be like, no, I got this.
I got this. But eventually you'll just 
Suzanne: burst as human being. You can't do it all. So yeah. But yeah, yeah, I love it's like happy hour with a friend and I don't mean it has to be alcohol. It can be tea time. It could be whatever. Right. So, you know, I have a friend that every once in a while, so we'll go for a walk.
Say, is it our date time? And it's a walk is what we do because both enjoy a walk and then we can visit while we walk. And you know, it's so many little things, but it's tough, but you gotta, you gotta set those things, set those goals, people. 
Darine: Absolutely. And I think, remind yourself that you are the boss. [00:29:00] And how can you take advantage of that and make your life a little better balanced?
We all need to work and make money, but you also need to show up every day fully. And what do you need to like fill 
Suzanne: yourself? Yes. And for our listeners, we'd love to hear back from you. What are some things that you Have done or what you're thinking the first thing you're going to do. And then how did it go?
Do let us know. We are always here. Cause it's, it's for both. It's for you guys and us too, 
Darine: right? Absolutely. Well, this has been great. Thanks for the chat and thanks everyone for listening.