I stabbed myself with a...
Oh, you do have a boo-boo.
I know, I've got a...
I stabbed myself with a screwdriver today.
Oh no.
So, dumb.
I knew, in fact I thought I'm probably gonna hurt myself by doing this and a split second later, there it was.
Yep, slip.
Stabby town.
Okay.
Stabby town.
Anytime I do any kind of DIY walking across the floor.
I end up doing something that makes me pee my pants.
[Theme song plays]
Welcome to episode 36 of Delete This History, a podcast by two besties of a certain age searching for answers.
We are your hosts, Cara Burch and Brea Brown.
Hi.
How are you?
It's been forever.
So, long.
It's been like two weeks.
I know.
I mean, we saw each other last week.
Well, we did.
But we were slackers.
Yeah.
Don't tell anyone.
Yeah, we didn't want to do any, like, work.
But we're back.
We are back.
My vacation is just around the corner.
Oh, yeah, it's coming up.
I cannot friggin' wait.
What about your bookmarks this week?
OK, so, these are very relevant to what's been going on with Sean and I the last couple of weeks.
We're still cleaning out his father's estate.
So, my first recommendation under bookmarks this week is everyone should consider Swedish death cleaning.
Correct.
Swedish death cleaning is amazing if you guys don't know what it is.
And you wish your father-in-law had done it.
Yeah, well, and you know what's crazy about that is that he had already started, like he had already cleaned out and sold a bunch of things before he passed away.
Holy crap.
Swedish death cleaning, if you guys don't know what it is, is beginning to purge large items, well, they don't even have to be large, just items in your house that you no longer use, you no longer want, and doing it all with the idea that your loved ones won't have to figure out what to do with your stuff.
Correct.
And then part of that also is after you've done your Swedish death cleaning--and you can do this at any age, there doesn't have to be a life-changing event, just at any point.
And then part of that is not continuing to purchase more stuff that you don't need or you're not in love with.
That's the hard part though.
It is the hard part.
But things are easier to clean when you don't have a bunch of crap around and you think of your loved ones that are spending all their vacation days cleaning up your stuff.
Just saying.
Even the loved ones who didn't come from your loins.
Who just by happenstance.
It's true.
My other bookmark that relates to that somewhat is, if you have not set up a trust, do so.
Trusts are super important.
Trust us.
Set up a trust, go find an attorney, doesn't cost that much, and it's well worth it, the money spent.
Yeah.
Peace of mind.
And if something catastrophic happens, just everything is in place and you don't end up in probate, et cetera.
Correct.
Those are my bookmarks for the day.
Not super cheerful, but super important.
Yeah, yeah.
And top of mind.
Yes.
Very impactful.
I asked Brea to be the executor of our estate.
When was that?
Was that a couple of years ago?
It was.
Maybe a year ago.
And Brea was kind and gracious and said, thank you for asking and trusting me, but no.
Not just no, hell no.
I was just thinking about that earlier today.
And I get it now.
I get it now.
I was like, I think you should give that honor and privilege to somebody related to you.
Somebody I don't like.
Yeah, your least favorite sibling.
Yes.
Fo sho.
Because, yeah, I mean, my brother was my mom's executor.
And she had a lot of her ducks in a row.
Yeah.
Most of them, actually, he was just basically carrying out what she wanted done.
And oh my gosh, that was like a two-year process.
It's still a lot of work.
I mean, it is so much work, even if you do have everything in place.
I'm not saying that setting up a trust and doing Swedish death cleaning is going to make this an easy process for whoever has to take care of your estate when you're gone.
It's still a pain.
It's still a lot of work, but please just think of your loved ones and help them out just a little tiny bit.
Yeah.
I'm telling you, if Sean goes first and it's just me, I'm just going to empty out the house and have a chair and a TV and a refrigerator.
That sounds perfect.
And a bed.
Yeah, we gotta have a bed.
And I think that's pretty much it.
All right, that'll be your side of the duplex.
And then my side of the duplex.
What will you have on your side?
Same things.
I might have a couch.
Yeah, that's really about it.
It's all you need.
I mean, I have a refrigerator, I have appliances and things like that, but…
Yeah.
Oh, I'm gonna need my paper crafting things too.
Man.
This is the slippery slope.
No, no, that's it.
That's where I draw the line, paper crafts.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Okay, well, I have some bookmarks as well.
What do you have?
I have a show, Big Mood.
It is a British show.
Starring Nicola Coughlin from Dairy Girls and Bridgerton.
Oh, yes, I had to draw the lines.
Oh, I love her.
And it's about two best friends, one of whom has a mood disorder.
Okay.
A pretty serious mood disorder.
Like she's on lithium for this mood disorder.
And episode two nearly broke me because not to spoil anything, but they threw a Love Actually costume party for this character's 30th birthday.
No.
Cara, we have to do this.
Oh my gosh.
Some of the costumes.
I was gonna die.
And then I was explaining them to Clint, and I thought, well, he won't think it's as funny because you know he hasn't watched Love Actually 40 times like we have right but he was even cracking up.
Oh my god some of these costumes.
They were hilarious.
What a great idea.
Yeah, so, it's a funny show, but at the same time, it has some serious stuff, some dark stuff, you know. 
But it's good.
Okay also eating less sugar is one of my bookmarks.
Oh yes?
Because I feel amazing.
Oh good.
If I wasn't severely anemic, I can't imagine how wonderful I would feel.
Oh nice.
But I did go to the doctor this week for my yearly checkup.
And I'm anemic, pre-diabetic.
All the good things that I was pretty much expecting.
Yeah.
I was like, oh geez, it's coming.
Um, so, I'm on a low sugar diet.
That's good.
It's really not been too bad.
Good.
I've white-knuckled a few days.
Yeah.
And then there was one day that I drank some granola out of a package.
So, I was like, this is healthy.
It's not healthy, but other than that, I've been pretty good.
Good.
I've been putting lots of nuts in my mouth.
Nice.
Because that keeps you full.
It does.
That's what she said.
And then I've got one more bookmark.
Okay.
Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Oh yes.
I got to go there recently for the third time.
On, you know, business.
I like to say that.
I went on business… for work.
Business trip.
And it was another great trip.
Everybody there is so friendly, and it's just a fantastic locale.
I know it.
Like it's so… it's such a quaint, but also big enough town, and the people are wonderful.
And if you go to Green Bay, I have to say, please visit Cycling Brews Tap Room because I know the owner, and he's wonderful.
And it's a really cool place.
Excellent.
Really, really cool.
It's in a converted church.
It used to be a church.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Does it look like a church?
No, I thought it was a converted garage, like an old mechanic shop.
Hmm.
Okay.
But somebody recently said, oh, it's in a converted church.
And I was like, that is an interesting looking church.
Must've been, but anyway, it's right by the river.
It's right by the cycling path, which is why it's called, you know, cycling brews, 30-something beers,
including sours for those of us sour fans.
Love it.
And just a great atmosphere and a wonderful person who owns it.
So, those are all my bookmarks.
Those are good ones.
I've had a good, relatively good week.
You know what I noticed when Sean and I were in Green Bay, the thing I took away the most was every time we were at a crosswalk, people stopped.
I know.
Like without lights, like it was just a crosswalk.
They just stopped and they let us walk.
That does not happen here.
People, you got to take your life into your own hands if you're at a crosswalk with no light.
When I was there, somebody actually said, somebody who used to live in St. Louis, actually, he said, you know what I don't miss about Missouri?
And I said what?
And he said, the drivers.
Everybody in Missouri drives like such an asshole.
And I was like, guilty.
We're not here to talk about our terrible driving or those that we hate that drive terribly.
Not this week.
What are we here for?
We're here to share our internet search histories with our DTH besties.
And we're gonna do that with The Reading of the Lists.
This is when we tell you our top three most interesting, funniest, most successful internet searches of the week in list form.
My list for this week is King's X meaning.
Number two, why was the word stop used in telegrams?
Number three, return to nature funeral home update.
Yes.
Cannot wait.
All right, my list this week is the jax in Irish slang, Book Nook Model Kits.
Oh no.
And Etymology of the C word.
Really?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I'll be interested to see what, see what that produces.
Maybe I'll C-U-Next Tuesday.
Well, now it's time to play a little game that Brea and I both like to call Search Me.
This is where we each pose one question to each other to see if she can answer based only on The Reading of the Lists, which we just did.
We did.
Today, Brea, you are playing for...
God, I can't wait to show you this.
If it's food, I'm hitting you over the head.
It's not food, and I purposefully did not get you food.
You're so sweet.
But what I did pick out for you, I hand-picked this from a stack of books.
You brought a book?
Yeah, look, it's Barbara Walters' memoir.
Audition is what it's called.
Our one brain is so strong today.
Oh my God, did you bring a book too?
Is it Barbara Walters' memoir?
No, it's not.
But that looks good.
Look how thick.
This is a bug squasher.
This woman had a lot to say.
Oh, poor Baba Wawa.
Baba Wawa.
Look at the beautiful picture of her on the back.
R.I.P.
Anyway, this is what you're playing for.
This is what's on the line.
Excellent.
Which of my searches was prompted while I was watching the Matthew Macfadyen slash Julia Ormond version of Howard's End?
That is a good version.
It's excellent.
That should be a bookmark.
Mm-hmm.
I'm going to say.
"Why was the word stop used in telegrams?"
That's right! Yeah! I was so, worried you were going to say King's X.
I was so close to saying King's X, but I was like, wait a second, I was thinking about the movie.
So, that was a good little buried clue in there.
Okay, alright.
So, I found a couple of different theories.
I couldn't find, like, a definitive answer.
That's so frustrating.
I know.
One theory is that people could save money by using the word stop instead of punctuation at the end of sentences because punctuation costs more on a telegram.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I didn't either.
Another theory I found is that the word stop was used in World War II telegrams containing military orders after some orders were misunderstood.
So, I guess all the words were running together or something.
So, using the word stop became a general rule of thumb and people just started using it widespread.
Okay.
That was the other theory I found.
So, what would some military orders be that would be confusing without the word stop in there?
Well...
Was it like procedures?
Like, like, attack at dawn?
I would guess so.
Stop.
Because there… it said military orders.
I would guess that, yeah, it was either, you know, advance or don't advance or, you know, I mean, it had to be some tactical situation or I don't know, maybe some intelligence that they had gotten and maybe the intelligence was confused and I don't know.
I just don't know why.
Oh, because they weren't using punctuation.
Yes.
Yeah, I was gonna say I just don't know why punctuation wouldn't have been just as good, but I wonder if doing punctuation in a telegram was harder for a telegrapher.
I don't I don't know what a keyboard even looked like. So, do you think that they were using morse code at that time?
Well, for telegrams, no.
Why not?
I don't think so,.
I would have just assumed, because isn't that how Telegram started was with Morse code?
Why did I think that it was separate?
I don't know.
Ooh, we're gonna have to do some more searching maybe.
Yeah, maybe.
I do have a fast fact though.
Western Union was still operating its telegraph service until early 2006.
Good grief.
They decided to end it when 20,000 telegrams were sent through in 2005.
And that was a low number.
Like they're like, oh, we only have 20,000 telegrams going through these days for the whole year.
And they were averaging $10 a message.
And the telegrams that were being sent were mostly from companies using the service for formal notifications, like, you're fired!
No, I don't know what it was for.
I didn't look that up.
So, they just decided to finally end their telegraph service in the early 2000s.
That makes sense though.
When they announced that they, here's another fast fact.
When they announced that they were gonna shut down that service, a whole bunch of people started sending telegrams, because they wanted to be the last people to use or to send a telegram.
So, they started getting all these crazy requester telegrams.
People.
My source for that was NBC News.
Oh, very interesting.
Yeah, I would like to know the... the relationship between Morris Code and the Telegram.
Okay.
I think we can.
I might have to look that, or you can look it up.
I think we can decipher that.
I think I would like to forget to look that up.
Okay.
All right.
Cara.
Brea.
Oh wait.
I win that book.
Barbara Wawa's book.
Is mine.
Read it.
Book report next week.
Did this come from the Beverly and Roy Burch Library?
Absolutely it did.
Of course it did.
I'm excited.
Okay, because I just finished a book.
Yeah.
A hold-in-your-hand bug squasher like this one.
Yes.
This week you're playing for this copy of The Frozen River.
The Frozen River.
By Ariel Lawhon.
I was wondering a couple weeks ago if you had finished that and if you liked it.
We finished it.
It was amazing.
Oh great.
I would have liked to have read it faster.
Oh yes because you guys were...
We broke it up into pieces.
It was painfully drawn out, especially when things started picking up, you know what I mean?
Okay.
I wanna know what happens next.
Yes, okay.
Oh, I'm so excited.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay, ready?
Hit me.
Which search made my fingers so itchy to hit add-to-cart that I almost couldn't stand it, and when I texted you about it, you said you'd been resisting buying one of these things for a while.
Book Nook model kit.
They are so cool! Book Nook Model Kits.
I saw this, two characters on one of my favorite shows, Abbott Elementary, they were putting this together.
Oh! They were putting a couple together.
They each had their own put together.
And I was like, what is this, and why don't I already own all of them?
Is this really a thing?
And I looked it up, and it's really a thing.
They're little kits that you put together, similar to doll houses.
And you can put them on bookshelves, and they fit, like, between your books so that you can use them as bookends or you can split up books on your bookshelf and use them as decorations, or you could just display them on a shelf, which is what I would do because I don't have any room on the very tiny bookshelf that I have.
It is crammed full of books.
Mm-hmm, so, I would have to find another place for it, and I can't think of any place.
And I'm so sad about it because I want one or ten so, bad Anyway, they're also lit by LED lights.
Yes, they are so cute.
My favorite ones that I've seen are the Parisian café, the detective agency the pastoral diary, which is a weird name, but it's kind of a private loft looking, like it has a little chair, like where you would read and a little ottoman to put, I don't know, there's no people involved, but to put your feet on and like knitting and in a little basket.
And then they're all two stories, each one that I've seen.
Um, what's the other one?
The Magic Library, of course, and Island Holiday.
Oh!
Which has a red phone box in it.
Oh, my word.
So, I think that means I have to buy it.
I think it probably does.
I'm obligated to add it to my red phone box decor.
Yeah.
Duh.
I have no space for this, and I have no need for more clutter.
This goes really well with what you're talking about with your Swedish death cleaning.
Because I really should not be adding to things that my family will have to go through someday and say what in the hell was mom thinking?
My mom used to put together doll houses.
Really?
She did at least one.
And then I think my sister, Cori, did too at one time.
I mean, I could see how that would be super fun.
I mean, it's like Lego.
Yeah.
And then you get to decorate it.
So, yeah, I mean, come on.
It's a little tedious.
Like, I remember watching her and there was a lot of glue and there was a lot of, you know, and then it can get really expensive because then you're buying all the furniture and the stuff for it.
Do you remember that episode of The Middle when the mom thought she was getting a new dining table?
And she was so excited because their dining room table was like just like crusty and from like school projects and stuff.
And she was like, oh, the kids are finally old enough that I can get a new dining table.
And she was, she's like, look at this dining table I bought.
And it was only $300.
And she was so excited.
And it came in the mail.
It was a dollhouse table.
No, I don't remember that.
Oh my gosh!
And at the end of the episode, she and Mike are sitting on the floor in the dining room.
Because they had emptied it out, they took their old table out.
And they've got the little dining table between them.
Man, that show is gold.
Oh my gosh, I don't remember that.
Anyway, my sources were Amazon.com, Michaels.com, and Abbott Elementary.
Nice.
And that book is yours.
Yay! You're gonna love it.
The Frozen River.
Excellent, well thank you.
You're welcome.
Are you ready to get a little awkward?
I'm so ready.
Okay, well, we're gonna try to transition into Shared History now.
Oh gosh.
Cause we have some shared history.
Oh, we do.
As our friendship.
Yeah.
And then this segment's called Shared History because we're gonna share our history.
Yes.
From our internet searches.
Correct.
How was that?
Perfectly awkward.
Excellent.
Great.
All right, so, the first thing I wanna talk about, I'm gonna follow Brea's rule and get the worst out of the way.
We're gonna talk about Return to Nature Funeral Home Update.
Yes.
All right, just a quick recap for all y'all, if you don't remember.
Jon and Carie Hallford owned the Return to Nature funeral home where authorities found almost 200 decaying bodies.
They have been indicted on federal charges now.
So, they had been, they had state charges like for- 
Abuse of a corpse.
I think I talk about those a little bit later here.
But now they've been indicted on federal charges.
Good.
And do you know why? They misspent pandemic relief funds.
Oh, my gosh.
Almost a million dollars.
So, it was real close, like it was around 900,000 and they spent the money on vacations, cosmetic surgery, jewelry, vehicles, dinners, tuition for their child, cryptocurrency, luxury retailer shopping, venues such as Gucci and Tiffany and Company, and other personal expenses.
Things that are going to be really handy and important when they're sitting in jail.
Exactly.
The fraud involved three loans obtained between March of 2020 and October of 2021, according to authorities.
The indictment reaffirms accusations from state prosecutors that the couple gave families dry concrete instead of ashes and alleged the couple buried the wrong body on two occasions.
These are things I hadn't heard yet.
But more stuff is being discovered.
The indictment also stated the couple collected more than $130,000 from families for cremations and burial services they never provided.
The 15 charges brought by the federal grand jury are in addition to the more than 200 criminal counts already pending against the Hallfords in Colorado.
Oh, here it is.
For abuse of a corpse, money laundering, theft, and forgery.
The federal offenses carry potential penalties of 20 years in prison and $250,000 in fines.
The Hallfords have also left in their wake a trail of unpaid bills, disgruntled landlords, and unsettled business disputes.
The couple once claimed to a former landlord that they would settle their rent when they were paid for the work they had done for the Federal Emergency Management Agency during COVID-19.
The business's website even featured logos for FEMA and the Department of Defense.
FEMA and the DOD have denied any contracts with his funeral home.
Oh, my gosh.
Now you done pissed off Uncle Sam, Hallfords.
Can you believe this?
Oh my gosh, they took YOLO to a whole new level.
The Return to Nature funeral home has failed to pay more than $5,000 in property taxes in 2022 and at one of its locations, according to public records.
And in 2023, the business was slapped with a $21,000 judgment for not paying for a, quote, couple hundred cremations.
So, they were funneling cremations to another company at one point, and they never paid for them.
My gosh.
It just gets worse and worse as the months go on.
I hope these people go away forever.
Me too.
That's just terrible.
It's awful.
My source was AP News.
Thank you, AP News.
Thank you.
Oh, my goodness.
Isn't that terrible?
It really is.
I mean, people are so vulnerable at that time when they need the services of a funeral home.
You're at such a vulnerable part of your life, somebody that you love or care about or even if you don't like, it's just stressful.
And you are putting a lot of trust in these people.
Like, you are going to strangers to help you with a burial because you can't do it.
Right.
You're trusting them to follow the laws, to do this appropriately and return your loved one to you if you have had them cremated.
Right.
And I mean, that is a lot of trust to put in a company, but golly gumdrops.
You kind of hope they're on the up and up.
Right.
And these people are not.
And so, when I search Colorado, I always forget the name.
I always forget Return to Nature.
So, I always search for "Colorado Funeral Home update," and then I put 200 bodies or whatever.
It always brings up multiple Colorado Funeral Home issues.
Y'all in Colorado, get your ducks in a row.
Get your shit together.
I just feel like it's harder to not cremate the bodies and take care of them.
Is it not?
Yeah, I would think so,.
What was their endgame?
Like, I don't understand.
I don't either.
I'm so, stressed out at just the idea of letting bodies pile up or letting bills go unpaid or...
Yeah, is this a...
Whatever, like this, the whole, their whole life was way harder, even with all the fancy stuff and whatnot and vacations.
I mean, were they just too busy?
Yeah, I don't understand.
Of all the things, of all the services to not... administer for a person.
Right.
This is probably one of the most heinous.
And it was, was it like a Thelma and Louise situation?
They're like, let's just go out in a blaze of glory and we're just gonna take a whole bunch of money and just do whatever the hell we want because that's what we wanna do and then we'll just pay for the consequences.
I mean, is that, or were they just so, delusional?
I don't know, Brea.
None of it makes sense to me.
It does not make sense.
You and I could never come to a logical explanation.
And I don't think I could ever say, oh yeah, I see your side of the story here.
I understand why you took FEMA funds.
I just…
It's like, if you don't wanna do this for a living, and you don't wanna do the work, then get out of it.
Just don't do it.
Sell it to somebody who will do it.
Yes.
And do something else.
But I don't know.
I don't either.
So, anyway, that's the update on the Hallfords.
Well, gosh.
As usual, when we talk about this story, I just become completely speechless.
I know.
And like, like it just blows my mind.
There are no words.
Yeah.
Would you like to know about my first search?
Yes.
Yes, please.
It is "the jax," an Irish slang.
OK.
I was reading Murder in an Irish Bookshop.
Because you had reminded me of this Irish village mystery series by Carleen O'Connor that I love.
And Murder in an Irish Bookshop is about book 17,000 in that series.
Now, it might be like eight or nine.
I've read a lot of them.
Anyway, somebody mentioned using "the jax" when talking about visiting the toilet.
Oh, okay.
And this is a common term for restroom, I learned, particularly public restrooms in Ireland.
Okay.
You do not ask, where's the restroom in Ireland?
People will look at you like you're crazy.
First of all, you're not resting in there.
Well, I mean, I guess you could be, sorta.
You're not resting, it's not a bathroom, you're not taking a bath, it's a toilet.
Yeah.
So, you could call it the toilet, but not restroom, not bathroom.
Okay.
But most often they call it the jax.
And I was like, huh?
So, it can be spelled with an X, like Jax, or like the game, jacks, with A-C-K-S.
The most common explanation as to the source of this term is that it's derived from "the Jakes," as far back as Tudor times.
That still doesn't explain it to me.
Okay.
Because I still don't know, like, "the Jakes."
That's still just as odd to me.
But you would say, where's the jax?
I love how Irish people, they don't do their TH's.
They say, they say "tings."
And "da," the instead of "the."
Where's da jax?
Now, just when I was like, I just don't understand, then I was reminded by one of these sources that we call it over here in the U.S., the john.
I gotta use the john.
Yes.
I don't know where that came from, either.
And I didn't look it up, because whatever.
And Jack is a diminutive form, or a nickname, a common nickname, of John.
Yes.
So, why is it so weird for me, for some reason?
I can't make that leap.
For one, it doesn't make any sense for it to be called the john.
No.
I don't get that.
Because it was Thomas Crapper, the toilet man.
What?
One of the first, he wasn't really the inventor of the toilet.
What?
I mean, there's a...
This is gonna get good.
There's a legend that Thomas Crapper was the inventor of the toilet, and that's why we call it the crapper, and that's why it's called crap and blah blah.
But he was just one person at the same time in history who kind of came up with a certain toilet design.
Okay.
And his name really was Thomas Crapper.
Oh, my word.
But his name's Thomas, so, we don't say, I gotta use the Tom.
So, the john. We've got some searching to do for next week Yeah, so, that's an interesting whatever but I just wanted to look it up because I was like the jax.
I mean I could tell by context what they were talking about, but I was like, that's really weird.
Why do they call it that?
I've always wondered why we call public restrooms "restrooms." 
Where did the word restroom come from?
Like, did that derive from when, you know, women would go to powder their nose?
I'm making this up.
And they would go in there and there were just mirrors and like a little settee? 
Yes, a settee.
Oh, yes.
And so, they would, you know, primp and make sure they looked good.
Yeah, they would rest.
Maybe.
And then maybe someone said, we should throw some toilets in there.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Why is it called the restroom?
I mean, I guess you are technically resting when you're sitting.
You're having to stop everything else and take care of this one situation.
Man, I was in a lot of jax a couple of weeks ago when I was traveling.
Lots of public bathrooms.
Oh, man, I hate public bathrooms.
Airport bathrooms.
Yeah, and okay yay.
It's like oh, I would like to have my own, but then my then my hotel room didn't have any toilet paper Oh, that's right, so public bathrooms were, you know.
They were at the forefront of your mind.
Really, I mean, when you take away that basic, you know, whatever, basic amenity, when you take that away, like you really get down to the Maslow's hierarchy.
And you were just like, "breathing, relieving, breathing, relieving."
That's all I care about right now.
And you're just like, I don't want to eat or drink anything because I'm going to need to.
That's what has been happening to us.
So, we're going all the way up to Bolivar or past Bolivar on this property where there are outbuildings, but no toilet.
So, you want to stay hydrated.
We've been working so hard out in the sun, schlepping trash, you know, and you need to stay hydrated, but at the same time, you don't want to have to go to the bathroom.
Yeah, not a problem for the guys.
I mean, yeah, it isn't.
And I mean, I could make it work.
I can go squat in the woods, but my preference is not to, because you know I will squat on poison ivy.
Or a snake will bite you in the ass.
What's that tickling my buttocks?
Oh, emergency room visit.
Yes, yes, exactly.
So, that's the jax.
I love it.
Well, this is another little bit of etymology that also kind of doesn't have a solution.
Okay.
So, I was finishing the book, Where the Heart Is, a couple of weeks ago.
Excellent book, guys.
And near the end of it, a character says, "oh, King's X about what I said then."
I've never heard the term King's X, have you?
No.
So, apparently this was popular in America in the 50s, and it indicates when children are playing like tag or hide and seek or something, it indicates like a timeout, like King's X and they would usually cross their fingers when they did it.
Like an X.
Like an X.
Sort of.
Yeah, like you cross them.
It's not.
widely used today, but you will find it more frequently in the South of the U.S., which is kind of, well, I guess that book was set in Oklahoma.
I wouldn't consider that the South.
I wouldn't either, but people in the North would consider it the South.
They would.
They would totally consider it the South.
So, um, the Oxford English Dictionary as the origin of the term King's X.
So, they would cross their fingers and then somehow King's X came about as a term to accompany this.
Or it may also be linked to the King's Mark.
So, the King's Mark was a seal that was affixed to documents.
that included safe passage or other favors for subjects to carry around.
Yes.
I think we actually talked about this.
Oh.
Once.
Okay.
In an earlier episode.
Far, far away.
And I searched the crap out of this.
I mean, I searched and searched and searched and I...
That's it.
That's all I came up with.
It's the craziest thing.
So, when you're saying it, "King's Ex, what I just talked about... or what I just said," what would that mean?
So, that means forget what I just said.
Okay, so, like never mind.
Like never mind, forget that I even said that.
Okay.
So, it had a couple of, like I looked up, like in Merriam-Webster, and then I got most of this from grammarist.com, and it said it had a couple of like, it could either mean time out when the kids are playing a game, or it could also mean please just, you know, don't mind what I just said, or forget that part of what just happened.
Yeah.
It's so odd.
This is a very unsatisfying answer show.
It kind of is, because guess what?
I have an etymology.
My last search is an etymology of the C-word.
Yes, yes.
And it is quite convoluted.
OK.
But a little bit more definitive than that.
OK.
Are you ready for it?
Or are we?
Or do you want to King's X that?
No.
No, let's go.
All right.
It's related to The Frozen River.
Okay.
So, in that book, a character, no spoilers, but a character uses the C-word.
And one of my fellow book club members was like, King's X, time out.
Did they really use that word back then?
And I was like, did you watch Deadwood?
No, that was a little later.
And then another person said, I tried, but there was so much cursing in it that I could not even figure out what was happening.
It was so distracting.
And these are not prudish people.
These are not people who are like, ew, pearl clutchers or anything.
But they really were kind of like... what's going on with using this word in this book in post-colonial United States.
And I was like, you know what, I bet you would be surprised.
I suspect it's older than we think.
And I was right.
I looked it up on my work computer.
I know I'm such an idiot, but it's a work group of people.
And we're on Teams.
And so, I just without even thinking, I'm sitting in front of my work computer and just without thinking, I was like, I'm gonna look that up.
Why didn't I use my phone?
You should delete that history.
I'm gonna really have to scrub that history.
So, it could be like what?
Cause I actually spelled out the real word.
And the reason I'm not really saying it right now, I'm gonna say it a bunch here in a second, but I haven't said it up to now because it's one of my least favorite words ever.
I completely agree with you.
I really don't like it.
I don't either.
Now in other cultures it's not a big deal.
In England they use it all the time.
Yes.
It's just like calling somebody a dork or it's a little bit stronger than dork but not much.
I mean they just don't have that same horrible connotation ascribed to it.
Right.
But in America, we really hate women.
We're not allowed to have bodily autonomy.
And so, a woman's body part is definitely one of the worst things you can call somebody.
Absolutely.
Wikipedia and Wiktionary say that, C-U-Next-Tuesday, is from the Middle English, cunte, C-U-N-T-E, or queynt, Q-U-E-Y-N-T, or queynte, Q-U-E-Y-N-T-E, just add an E on the end or from the old English also cunte, c-u-n-t-e, and from the proto-germanic kunton K-U-N-T-O-N.
Okay.
And a bunch of other languages like Old Frisian, which I've never heard of, Old Norse, Middle Dutch, Middle Low German.
I mean, we are really slicing things.
I was wondering about that one, actually.
Yep, it's one of them.
Dialectical Swedish and Danish and Icelandic.
All kind of along that same, spellings, pronunciations, blah, blah.
Okay.
But there's no conclusive relationship to the Latin, cunus, you know, like cunnilingus or cunus or whatever, which would be more obvious, I would think.
But the first known reference in our native tongue, English, is from a street name in Oxford.
You wanna know what it's called?
Please tell me.
Gropecuntlane.
Oh, what?
It's all one word.
Gropecuntlane, circa 1230.
Oh, my word.
Current era.
Presumably this street was a popular hangout for sex workers.
You don't say.
I'm not making this up.
It was on Etymonline, which I've used lots of times, and is very scholarly.
And then in 1325 CE.
Cunte, C-U-N-T-E, 1325.
I know. That year doesn't even compute.
It's so early.
It was used in the Proverbs of Hending, a collection of religious and moral advice dating back to the 1200s.
It was also used in medical writing, circa 1400, but it's been avoided in public speech since the 15th century, and it was considered obscene by the 17th century.
That's interesting.
However, Chaucer used the word "queynte," or whatever, Q-U-E-Y-N-T-E, in The Canterbury Tales.
He's a dirty bird.
And so, to answer my book club's question, yes, this word was used, particularly as a slur or an insult, back in the 1700s.
And the particular character who uses it would definitely use it.
Okay, so, Arielle Lawhon did her research.
She knew.
Okay.
I mean, she wasn't gonna write such a historical masterpiece based on a real person and leave out a detail like that.
So, my sources were Wikipedia, Wiktionary, Etymonline, and Grammarphobia.
Wow.
Interesting.
Everything you wanted to know about the C word and then some.
Yes, you got that right.
So, we've learned about that, but...
What about this one?
My list is humongo.
Mine is too, because it's been two whole weeks since we have done this.
Yeah.
So, let's dive in since we have such huge lists.
Tommy Townsend, new NFL team.
Imitrex side effects.
Cool Whip candy that tastes like three musketeers.
Early Bird Breakfast Pub.
Ye Shen, a Chinese Cinderella story slash CBS story break.
Do you remember CBS story break?
No.
Oh my gosh, Saturday morning?
No.
Holy cow.
All right.
Why was Insane Pools TV show canceled?
Landfill hours?
Basura meaning?
Armadillo mating season?
MSU parking?
80s tease dot com.
Twilight 10th Anniversary Release.
It was stupid.
People can't hear me shaking my head, but I'm shaking my head.
Do you know what the 10th anniversary release was?
What?
So, I guess they did a fancy like just re-release of Twilight itself, but she re-wrote.
Twilight again for a third time and she switched The female male leads so, the main character, Bella, turned into "Beau," and Edward turned into a female, Edwina.
I don't even know. I couldn't even get past the synopsis. It's so awful.
She is dining out on that for the rest of her life Absolutely.
She's just like, listen, I had one great idea.
I sort of did a good job with it, and this is it.
So, I've, I've gotten through book two and I've got three and four on hold at the library.
Cause I've got to push through now.
I'm halfway through.
It's, it's so bad that I don't.
So, the whole point of this, I was going to read Twilight and then I wanted to read the fifth book.
where she rewrote it from Edward's point of view.
I don't know if I'm even going to be able to reread that one because there's so much.
Well, wait, you've seen the movies.
I have.
The way it sounds with your hands over your face talking.
It's so bad.
You've seen the movies, you've read the first book.
Yeah.
And the fifth book is only the first book from Edward's point of view, right?
Mm-hmm.
So…
I just feel like I need to read the rest of it because.
Why?
Well, because I'll tell you why.
Life's too short.
But you know what?
That last book, the second one, it took me three days to read it.
They're so fast to read.
So, it's not like I'm losing a lot of my life here.
Yeah.
But I'm reading them because the movies, it's actually answering a lot of questions I had about the movies.
Like the whole time, I'm just like, huh?
Yeah.
And the reason I want to read the fifth book from Edward's point of view is to finally learn why the crap he cares about Bella.
She falls down a lot and he can't hear what she thinks.
Listen, she fell down two flights of stairs.
And she smells good.
That's right.
That's all I can take away so far from all the books and all the movies is she smells good, she's clumsy, and he can't hear her thoughts.
Why?
What is it?
I don't get it.
Well.
So, she's mysterious to him.
I guess.
Listen, I think some relationships have been built on less.
Ha ha.
Anyway, continuing with my list.
Packers 2024 draft.
Go pack, go.
Centimeters to inches.
Um, Oh yeah, conversion.
Conversion.
Thank you.
Update my phone number in Apple Pay.
Bakhtiari jerseys.
They are still so expensive.
They're like $170.
Because I thought I could look them up and get a cheap one.
Did he retire?
Or did he just...
You know what, I don't...
All I know is that they let him go.
Yeah.
I don't know that he's retired, retired.
Maybe he's not gonna play for any other team.
And so, now they're kind of like...
Oh, maybe so,.
That's why they're expensive, maybe.
Maybe so,.
I don't know.
They still, well, whatever.
I mean…
Thigh Society.
Have you seen this?
Oh my gosh.
Look it up, Thigh Society.
Okay.
Remove musty smell from oak furniture.
Tickets to Terry Bradshaw Branson show.
Oh, my goodness.
Kohl's email opt out.
Leave me alone, Kohl's.
Oh, my gosh.
For the love of Pete.
It's the same with Bath and Body Works.
It's like they're the same company.
They're like, let's send nine emails today.
Yeah, and you can unsubscribe all you want, and they still send you stuff.
They just keep coming through.
And last but not least, Heal Your Headache: The 1-2-3 Program for Taking Charge of Your Pain.
Man, you have a lot of good things on that list.
I know.
Maybe I'll backtrack and look some of them up and add them next week to the future.
Although we're already looking up things for next week that we're gonna need to report back on.
I'm never gonna do that.
Okay.
Just so you know.
Okay.
My What About This One list is maximum grams of sugar per day to lose weight.
What'd you find out?
24.
Oh, that can go fast
A glass of sweet tea, so, the red diamond sweet tea, okay?
30 grams in one serving.
Is that like eight ounces?
30 grams, 12 ounces.
30 grams of sugar in one serving.
That's more than what I'm allowed to have all day long.
And then some.
Yikes.
I had a scoop of chicken salad on my greens for lunch today, and that was six grams.
Sugar in chicken salad.
I love chicken salad.
I do, too, but America, why do we put sugar in effing everything?
Because it makes us eat more.
Yeah it does; it makes us eat a lot more.
Anywho, tilapia fillets cook time.
Plus-sized denim jacket.
Book Nook wallflower. It's waiting for me at home right now.
I can't wait to smell it.
Yeardley Smith slash Daniel Grice.
Donnie Brasco.
Lipase blood levels.
Kefir or kefir it's like this sour milk yogurt stuff.
Oh yeah drink yeah uh-huh.
I don't know how you pronounce it, but I know what you're talking about.
"Death stakes" definition in writing.
How to fix a zipper slider.
TSA carry-on rules.
First day of school 2024-2025.
Wow, you're already getting there.
Gallbladder sludge.
Colangitis.
Oh, that sounds kind of like- Colangitis.
Like something you would do with the C-U-Next-Tuesday.
Colicistitis.
My Favorite Murder merch.
Internal organs diagram, male.
Lynn Dawson slash Teacher's Pet podcast.
Meaning of "I still believe in 398.2."
Mm.
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.
American Experience, A Midwife's Tale.
Dairy-free dinners?
SARK in Scotland.
You had a lot of good stuff there too.
Hey, um, do you have any listener shout outs?
Cause I have one.
I do.
I'm going to shout out to Alex J.
Oh, yes.
She sent me an email after I had been talking about migraines and every listener was sick of it.
Alex emailed us, and we love emails. I was so excited to see it, with a book recommendation about migraines, which was one of my searches that I did not talk about this week, that I'm gonna talk about now.
It was that book called, Heal Your Headache: The 1-2-3 Program for Taking Charge of Your Pain.
And so, I've started reading it, and I really appreciate Alex sending me the recommendation.
And she was very much like, you know, "I'm not trying to push this on you," and... "I don't want to be that person, but…"
I'm not proud.
I'll read anything to reduce my headaches.
So, thank you, Alex J., for sending that.
Thanks Alex.
I got to hug Alex and see her in person.
Hi, hi.
That's another reason why Green Bay is awesome.
Alex J. is there and lots of other people.
My listener shout-out is that we got a text from my niece, Brittany.
Well, I got a text, me and the mouse in my pocket.
Yes.
But I shared it with you.
Yes.
Because it's about you, too.
And she is the daughter of my sister, Cori, and she's a grownup with three kids and one of the coolest people I know.
It made me feel really good to read this text because if Brittany thinks we're funny, then we're pretty funny.
Oh.
Because she's funny.
She's a funny gal.
She's very funny.
Okay.
So, here was the text.
"OMG don't crucify me. I'm just now listening to your podcast. I don't listen to podcasts often but was looking for something good to listen to while doing a long walk. It's so good! You girls had me laughing literally out loud so much, people probably thought I was weird. lol."
We get that a lot that people listen while they're walking and laugh out loud.
Yes.
And worried that people are judging them.
"Okay, but who cares? Only on three or four episodes, but love it. Oh my gosh, the spider on the pillow almost made me pee my pants, by the way."
And then she said, "And now I have to go look up chillblains." And then she said, "Chillblains.
Well, not as gross as I was anticipating."
So, I told her that I was laughing like crazy in the office.
So, she got me back.
And then I said, "I totally get being hesitant about sampling a creative project by someone you know. What if it's horrible or cringy? Then you have to look that person in the eye the next time you see them and know they made something pathetic and feel that secondhand embarrassment that's so, terrible."
So, I get why people who know me, like siblings or family members or whatever, why they wouldn't want to listen.
Because then they're like, oh gosh, what if it's terrible?
Yeah.
It's like you not wanting to watch a show because you don't want to be disappointed.
Yeah, it's true.
Kind of like that.
Like, oh, I just don't want to even spend my time on something that might be awful.
Then I have to like, then I can't just say, oh, I haven't had a chance to listen.
Right.
Then you have to either lie and say, oh yeah, I listened and it's great.
Or you have to keep lying.
You have to lie basically.
Yeah.
Or hurt somebody's feelings.
Which nobody would ever do.
Never.
Anyway, she said we're really good together and we compliment each other well.
And she's looking forward to listening to the next episodes.
And I told her that I've talked about her before and her mom on this podcast.
Yes.
Just because, you know, that's what we do.
It's your family.
We talk about the peeps in our lives.
Thank you, Brittany.
I know, I'm so excited that she's listening and liking it, because...
Another listener.
I know, but listen, people up in Green Bay are really on, they are on it.
That is exciting.
They wanna listen to us.
All the ladies that were at this conference that I was at, they all wanna listen, and I was starting to be like, oh no.
Everybody across the company that I work with is going to have heard my potty mouth.
But anyway…
It is what it is.
That's true.
And that brings us to new listeners.
Hey, you guys, how can people get in touch with us, Cara?
They can email us like Alex J did at delete this history podcast at gmail.com.
What else can people do?
They can also get in touch with us on Instagram and Threads at DTH Gals and Delete This History on Facebook.
Yeah.
The hottest ticket out there.
Oh yeah.
The boomers are loving it.
I was about to say, or they can email us, but you already did that.
Speaking of boomers, I have worse memory than people two generations older than me.
Oh no, that's just one generation.
Oh geez.
It's time for us to shut this party down.
One degree of separation.
Yes.
Now.
Yes.
We've already talked about this, but especially with what was on my list this week, I definitely.
need to go do something.
You need to delete your history.
Yes.
You probably should have done that already.
I know.
It's just hanging out there.
I know.
Talking to your IT department.
IT is going to be like, what in the heck?
See you next Tuesday.
All right, well, I'm going to delete my history too, immediately.
Yes.
Stay fresh, cheese bags.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Delete This History is created, written, hosted, produced, and edited by Brea Brown and Cara Burch.
Theme music is "So Good," by Orkas.
Email us at delete this history podcast at gmail.com.
Find us on Instagram and Threads at DTHGals and Facebook at Delete This History.
Copyright 2024.
All rights reserved.
Chronic exhaustion brought to you by estate executorship, anemia, and pre-diabetes.