Hello, Delete This History listeners. Life doesn't give a crap about podcasting and neither does the opposite of life. Kara's family had a death in the family over Thanksgiving and we did not get a chance to record over that weekend. So today we present you a repeat, we like to call it recycle, reduce, reuse of episode one of Delete This History. We hope you enjoy it. and we will be back next week with a brand new episode. We love you.

My eyeballs are like sandpaper.
Mine were so goopy last night. It was disgusting! Yeah, I was watching the
Women's World Cup through like gel. It was so nasty
I thought you were gonna announce the platform you were watching on, but no...  through gel.
Yeah through goopy gel on my eyes.
I got up this morning, and they were so swollen, they were almost swollen shut. They were… they were like just little slits.
And mine were all, like... This is gross everybody. We're so sorry. This is your introduction to us probably and here we go.
Yeah, these girls are nasty.
Might as well just dive right in.
[Theme music]
Welcome to DELETE THIS HISTORY, a podcast by two besties of a certain age, searching for answers. I'm Brea Brown. 
I'm Cara Burch, and we're your hosts. Hi, bestie. 
Hi.
Yeah, so what are we doing here?
Well, we're just two friends who went to university together, but don't remember having any classes together.
None
Majored in the same thing.
Did.
Got jobs after college at the same place. Left at about the same time.
Almost the same time yeah.
To take jobs that were almost exactly the same in a completely different... Not... I wouldn't say industry, but like
I think industry is the right word.
And then we became best friends.
Yeah, after all that after all that.
So weird. And here we are. Anyway, what is this podcast about? 
Oh my gosh. Okay, so we've reached this age where we can't remember anything and we don't go out as much as we used to, so we maybe haven't heard of certain things.
We don't get much exposure. To life.
So because of those things we do a lot of internet searches sometimes. They're so ridiculous. But necessary.
Yeah, and educational. They tend to be kind of interesting. 
Yeah, they provoke conversations in my household for sure yes, so we decided to start sharing them on this podcast. We think we're very funny. I think Brea is funny. 
Those are the best kind of people, the people who think they're funny.
So we thought oh my gosh. You know what the world is missing? US.
It's been an exciting week for me.
Has it?
I got a shoutout on one of my favorite podcasts. 
Yes!
Which was crazy. Actually it happened months ago, but I was unaware because I'm behind on the podcast, and I've been binge listening. It's a catch-up. I just heard it. I was like, "Oh I never finished this episode!" and they were right in the middle when they talk about... Well, they call it "That thing in the middle." This is THE BOX OF ODDITIES with Kat and Jethro, and they were doing listener mail--like email--and they read an email that I sent them. And at first when he started reading it, I'm just listening to it like I would normally to any other listener email, and I'm like "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! That's me. That's my email. Those my words." And I was like, "Oh my gosh."
That's exciting
And Jethro even got choked up a little bit when he read it.
Yes, it was a good email. 
Well. Thank you. I'm pretty passionate about that topic.
Well, I think that's very exciting that you were nationally--internationally--recognized because I mean those podcasts. They're big all over the world. 
They have millions of listeners.
Yeah.
I have been mentioned on that podcast before.
Yes. I remember that.
When I answered a question on their Facebook page. They said, "What's the funniest way you've ever hurt yourself?"
This is a good one. 
Yeah, my funniest way that I'd ever hurt myself was I punched myself in the face when I was putting on my bra. And I've done it more than once.
Do you know what else I do if I'm trying to in the wintertime trying to pull up a sleeve?
Oh, yes.
And the sleeve is tight. My hand will slip off, and then I'll punch myself in the boob. 
Oh.
I do that a lot.
That feels amazing.
Love punching my own boobs.
So that's my exciting week.
I had one exciting thing happen this week. Well, Sean's birthday was this week.
Yes, that's exciting. 
We had a good time. I came home from work last night, and as I walked through the living room, I saw this necklace laying on a couch cushion, and I said, "Where did that come from?" and Sean said, "I found it down in the couch." And I said, "I lost that, like, three years ago." And I tore the house apart looking for that and I finally decided that I cleaned the house, and you know how you or just you don't really know what you're doing, you've got things in your hands, and I finally decided that I had just thrown it out by accident. Like, I had been doing things, cleaning up, you know putting away the clutter and that somehow I had just thrown it out. 
With a bunch of other stuff. 
Yeah, exactly. But Sean, I don't know why he was flipping the couch cushions yesterday, and he found it down in the couch cushions. This is the level of my excitement. 
Well...
You know, I had already replaced it so now I have two of them.
Exactly the same? 
Exactly the same.
Because you loved it so much, you were like I can't live without it.
Exactly.  I use that necklace all the time. It's perfect. It goes with everything.
Now, you've just got to give it to me. 
I will give it to you.
Oh my gosh, that could be one of my prizes!
It could! Okay!
Speaking of, it's time to do the Reading of the Lists. 
I'm so excited. Okay, do you want to go first or do you want me to?
I want you to go first.
Here we go so Reading of the List.  
1.	How are bra sizes determined?
Full question.
2.	Will there be another season of quarterback on Netflix?
Full question.
3.	When was the stand originally published?
Need I say, full question.
4.	How to correctly use a roundabout with or without yield signs.
5.	At what age do people begin talking about their ailments in general conversation?
Oh my lord. I think I was 12.
What?!
I think I was 12. Well, I lived with older people. Like, my granny lived with us. Anyway, this isn't about me. Anyway, I've always been old.
"I think I was 12"...
Probably.
Oh, crap. Okay, your turn.
Here's my list for the week. 
1.	First, slippery stairs championship. 
2.	When did people start saying "verse" instead of "versus."
Full question.
Yep.
I'm rubbing off on you.
3.	Herschel Walker son.
4.	Abby white murder case, slash Eileen Gay Gibson, slash Cruise Ship Killers real names.
That's it that's my list. I only had four because that last one was mega. 
Read that last one again. 
Okay.
I need to wrap my brain around it. 
Abby white murder case / Eileen Gay Gibson / Cruise Ship Killers real names.
Okay. 
Oh, trust me, all will be revealed. 
I look forward to it. Now we come to a segment we like to call...
Both:  "Search me!"
This is where we play a little game, where I pose a question to you...
Uh-huh, you pose a question to me about our searches, and we have to determine which of this list is the correct answer.
Yes.
And we play for prizes. 
Yeah, there's prizes. So, this week you're playing for a couple of things:  One thing you're playing for is some slightly used paper craft storage boxes.
Oh, yes! 
Two of them, to be exact. 
Yes. Yes. 
The other thing you're playing for are these four different varieties of Dove chocolate.
Get out of here.
Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, milk chocolate with caramel in the middle, and this one's dark chocolate with almonds. So, I'm gonna just put those here. 
That last one's healthy!
Inspiration in this caramel one.  I'm sure you've had it before, but if you haven't, go eat it alone in a room somewhere.
With cigarettes handy for later? Okay.
It's so good.
Okay, I'm ready for your question.
Question is which of my searches took place in a fit of rage because there's no one I can specifically yell at about this ongoing issue? Oh, now that I'm reading this out loud, it's almost a trick question. I don't mean for it to be, but I think you can do it.
Well, I've got it narrowed down to two. I'm gonna say, How are bra sizes determined?
Exactly. That's it. 
That would cause rage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 
I know. It’s just… it's a constant struggle
It used to be that there was a formula you would measure underneath your boobs…
Yep, 
And you measure around the fullest part of your boobs. 
Yep.
And then that would determine your cup size.
Yeah.
Whatever the difference was, it would be a B, C…
Whatever.  That is a whole bunch of BS now.
I don't know what rulers people are using. Like, an inch is an inch is an inch.
Yes.
So why would there be any variation?
So in this particular bra I am wearing right now, it is extremely comfortable. Yeah, it fits really well. It's a C. In other bras, I get the exact same numbers. 
Yeah…
Different brand. It's like I'm wearing an A. I'm spilling out the top of it and it's bullshit people. I don't know who is making bras or what you're doing, but get it right. You're not doing it right. Get it right. How hard is it? 
I don't know
I'm about to find a tailor to say just figure it out and make me nine of them. 
Make me some bespoke bras
Oh my god, that's the best business name I've ever heard. 
Bespoke. Bras. 
You're out there somewhere. I know you are. Take Brea's idea…
Yes. 
Start a business. 
Because I don't want to do it. 
Bespoke Bras. You can have it. And call me, for the love of God!
You could pay me a hundred bucks for the name. I would take it. 
Or free bras for life. 
Oh my gosh!
And a friend. 
Yeah, they would go broke giving me free bras for life.
It just that they're so expensive, and they stretch out, and they wear out. It's like, God bless America!
I've stopped buying expensive bras. 
I have, too. I just buy the cheap crap ones. 
I buy a Playtex and throw them out. $14.99 bra and I'm like well that way if it doesn't fit right or it's not comfortable after, you know, the first however many wears or whatever and it wears out or it gets damaged in the washing machine… because come on people. I'm not going to hand wash my bras. 
That's the other thing. 
Then I can just throw it away and not feel bad about it. 
Or make a ferret hammock. 
A ferret hammock!
Or two gerbil beds. 
Oh man, those would be some massive beds. I just keep getting bigger and bigger every year. I can't eat anything anymore without…
It goes straight to your boobs?
Yeah, I mean I look down I'm like what the hell. 
I know they're in the way all the time. Oh not your boobs. My boobs. Your boobs are fine.
Well, ever since you told me, “Back off, lady,” they haven't been in your way anymore. 
All of these chocolates. They're yours. 
I'm so excited.
They're going to go straight to your boobs. 
Yeah that's what I need. More chocolate. 
Okay. Hit me. I'm ready. 
Okay. Cara, today you are playing for… Oh did you hear it rattle? 
What is this? 
You're playing for some magnetic poetry words. 
Oh my god. 
In a cute little plastic box.
I really want to win that. I've got a perfect place for those at work. I'm excited. Okay. Hit me
Today I want you to try to guess which search resulted after I tried to set up a recording of the England World Cup match and got sidetracked by all the other stuff on YouTube TV. 
Slippery Staircut Championship. Slippery Staircut Championship.
Yes that was the fastest win ever. YouTube please sponsor us. Girl. 
Slippery. It's hard to say. Slippery. The SS8. I can't even say the initials. Well. Slippery Staircase Championship. 
It's actually called Slippery Stairs.
Oh sorry. 
Slippery Stairs World Championship, actually. When I searched I was corrected. I was trying to set up this recording and while I was doing that there were things on YouTube TV on my phone that were just like auto playing which kind of annoys me. But in this case one of the things was these little kids trying to get up this ginormous white staircase in the middle of like a field or something. I thought it was ice at first but it's not. And they're trying to get up there wearing helmets and everything and just you get halfway up and you slide back down again
What is making it slippery? 
It's gel. Like a slimy gel stuff. 
Okay. 
So the stairs are gelled down. 
I'm trying to figure out what that crap might be.
It's like lube. It looks like KY jelly. 
Yeah like silica. Silica gel. 
Yeah. Anyway, it's slippery as fuck. 
Okay.
So the basic concept is four to five people stand at the bottom and then you eliminate people as you go up through the rounds. But what Peyton and I were watching originally was little kids and it was on ESPN Ocho and we were laughing so hard that we missed one of the USA goals against Vietnam last night because we were watching this and laughing our butts off at these kids just sliding down the stairs and then if one of the people who falls or slides if they're ahead of the others then everybody goes.
Yes. So you know what this is reminding me of? You remember that old show Wipeout? 
Yes. 
This is what it is reminding me of. 
Yeah. It's very much like that.
Okay.
Then I wanted to watch more of this. I watched the boy kids do it and then I watched the girl kids do it because you know it has to be separated into boys and girls because boys are always so afraid they're gonna lose to a girl. So of course I searched it after.
Obviously. 
I was, like, where did this start and what the hell, and I found the very first one ever and that's what I sent you the link to. It was grown-ass people which maybe I just missed. 
It was very funny.
Oh my gosh these guys they were ruthless first of all.
They were pulling each other down like the little kids were polite to each other and whatever but these guys were pulling each other by the foot. Because you’re barefoot. Oh my gosh it's just crazy. 
It was funny. 
So look it up if you have never seen it because it is funny as heck. 
It is funny. I enjoyed it and I was trying to watch it again while also watching soccer and I got so distracted and I finally just paused the soccer game. I was like I really want to look at this video. And Sean said well that's okay I need to go pee anyway so we took a little pee break, little slippery stair break. 
These guys you know they're fighting each other and then there are people at the top of the stairs who have like these gel guns and they're shooting more gel onto the stairs and at the contestants and they're throwing balls at them like trying to distract them and make them fall and it was so frustrating like people would get all the way up to the very top and they would just put a foot wrong or and then wipe out the entire staircase. They would just… everybody starts over. 
It was funny.
So the smartest people were kind of hanging out at the very edge of the stairs.
The women's. Did you watch it all the way through the women's? That one gal, she figured out in, like, a minute and she made it all the way to the top. 
Yeah she was fast. 
She was very good
It was kind of anti-climactic, actually. She kind of ruined it. 
I agree. 
I was like, come on girl this isn't about showing how great you are. This is about making us laugh at you wiping out. Anyway, it's hilarious because everybody's like in a bodysuit. Oh it's just… look it up.
That brings us to our next segment right? We’ve got some shared history, you and I. 
We do. 
And so we thought we would share our histories with the rest of you in the form of our search histories. 
Search histories. 
See what we did there? 
It was good. 
It only took us like, what, three hours to come up with it? 
About yeah.
I want you, in whatever order you want to, tell me about one of your searches.
So, we really talked about bra sizes a lot. 
I'm not going to talk again about slippery stairs again, either.
My original question for you for the Search Me game was going to be which of the searches happened to settle an argument at work. 
Oh. 
And then I thought, “That's kind of a little bit boring.” So I'll talk about that one. How to correctly use a roundabout with or without yield signs. Somehow we got to talking about roundabouts at work for a guy I don't normally work with. And he said, “Like, you know, you just you just go. I was like, “No, you don't just go. You have to yield to oncoming traffic. If there's a car already in the roundabout and it's coming your way you've got to yield. You've got to wait.”
That's why you have to use your blinker. 
Yeah. And he goes, “No, no, no. I'm talking about the roundabouts with multiple lanes.” I said, “Yeah, it applies to all types of roundabouts. If there's a car coming and if you go ahead and just go, and you could hit that car, you have to yield. You don't have the right of way to a roundabout if there are cars coming.”
Right. 
I said, “What do you do at a four way stop? Do you just barrel through it if there aren't any cars there?” “No, no. Not if there was a stop sign.” I said, “Yeah, you have to stop. You have to yield to oncoming cars.”
Right. And the way that you yield at a stop sign is by stopping. 
Yes.
Normally at a roundabout you don't have to stop. 
Yes. If there are no cars coming you just bust through.
Or they're way over the way. 
Exactly. 
Yeah. You use your common sense. 
That's the point of the roundabout is to keep traffic flowing. 
Keeps traffic going, but you're not going to just be like, “Well I'm here I'm going to go.”
Yeah. You’ve still got to yield. 
Yeah. 
And so I looked it up to prove it to him. And he said, “Well, you can't trust everything on the internet.” And I said, “Oh my gosh it's time for you to leave.”
Is that what he sounds like?
It's a perfect imitation. At that point I was like, “Ah, bye.” You can't argue with people like that. 
Well no, you can't fix stupid. 
So I just said, “Drive on the south side of town. Don't drive near me. Stay away from me.” Can I also say the roundabout on the south side of town near the nature center. I can't navigate it. I always end up on the highway. I get down there. Cause I don't drive on the south side very much. So, I get down there and I'm full of confidence because I'm like, I got it. I got it. And all of a sudden I'm like, well fuck no. I'm on the highway. I'm on the highway heading in the exact opposite direction. Every time. 
And you're wanting to go north? 
I'm wanting to keep going west. But then I end up in the wrong lane of the roundabout and it veers you off and you do the U-turn. 
Yes, yes.
And you end up going east on the highway. Oh, it's so frustrating. And so I have to go all the way. 
Yeah cause there's no way. There's no exit. 
No. I have to go so far to get back.
And so last time it happened Sean said just go home. We didn't even try to go back.
This town is roundabout crazy now. There used to just be one near the airport and one near the community college. 
That's a good one. It's so big and luxurious. 
And that was it. 
Yeah. 
Now we've got so many. And diverging diamonds. We love the diverging diamond.
The one on the north side near Commercial Street. It's so teeny tiny. 
Yes, yes, yes. 
That the city buses drive over the middle of it. I'm not even kidding you. They can't. They literally. It's so small and tiny. The buses cannot make the curve.
That is the most “this town” thing I've ever heard.
So they just drive over the middle hump. It's hilarious. 
“Ah, Screw it.” 
Anyway that's my roundabout story. What do you got?
I'm going to go with the really long one. I was watching Cruise Ship Killers. 
Is Cruise Ship Killers fictional?
Well it's funny you should ask that because I didn't think so. I thought it was true crime show. 
OK. 
Well, cheesy you know some reenactments. Some of them are cheesier than other ones. Dateline a little bit more sophisticated. Forensic Files still OK. Cold Case Files still OK. Then you get things like Murder in the Heartland. Cruise Ship Killers.
These are some productions that are filling a void I guess you would say.
That cannot be filled because people who love true crime cannot get enough.
That's what I was going to say. These are the shows that once you've watched all the good ones you're like I got to have more. 
Yeah. 
And your standards are low. 
Yes. At this point. 
Yeah. You're like I don't care, I'm just going to watch. OK. All right. 
So this is a Canadian production.
OK. 
And I know you can already tell it's stellar. And I wanted to know more about a particular case that I was watching or thought I was watching. And so I went to search it while I was watching the show. And the victim’s name on the episode was Abby White. She was an English fashion journalist. 
OK. 
And she supposedly took a cruise to get from England to New York Fashion Week. She just decided I'm going to take a cruise to get from here to there.
Why wouldn't you? 
In this day and age, who wouldn't?
Right. 
So it was it was portrayed as a modern-day case. Well early 2000s. Modern enough. And they all are. They all are. The oldest one I saw was 80s or 90s. 
OK. 
But for the most part these are all portrayed like this just happened recently.
OK. Which gives you the illusion that people getting killed on cruise ships all the damn time. You do not want to go on a cruise. 
OK. 
Because people get killed. 
OK. 
And there's no police on a cruise ship. So people get away with killing people. 
OK. All right. 
Anyway so this case was based on a case in the late 1940s.
What? 
I know. A British actress was going from Cape Town South Africa to Southampton. 
OK. 
England. She meets this deck steward on this cruise. James Camb. C-A-M-B. Then she disappears.
Why wouldn't that be pronounced Cam? 
Well, it probably is. 
Like lamb. 
Like lamb or cam. But I just I–
You like to say the B?
I stressed the B because I want you to know how to spell it. Camb. Camb. 
OK. 
But it's probably cam.
He was convicted of killing her after he admitted to throwing her body through a porthole. Which… I don't ever have to worry about that method of body disposal. That's a big damn porthole. Get my body through like a cartoon and still be pushing my body through the porthole.
I can't stop picturing it. 
And all my rolls are just kind of backing up through the porthole. Like what the hell. She must have been a damn stick.
How do you get someone through a porthole? 
Well…
OK. I have a lot of questions about that. 
Keep going. 
No, you go on. 
OK. Yes. He claimed he panicked when she died after a medical episode like a seizure or a heart attack or something while they were in bed together. Her body was never found. So obviously there are a lot of things wrong with this guy's problem-solving skills. I mean I know it's the 40s. Having sex with some chick and she dies. “I guess I just have to throw her out this porthole.”
I mean, the porthole is the obvious choice.
Oh, my gosh. 
OK. 
But a friend of hers did say that she had heart problems and that she was not well. 
OK.
In the months leading up to this voyage to nowhere. So there might have been some validity to his story and he was just a massive moron.
You know, like, I don't know. 
Back to Cruise Ship Killers. In the episode I was watching, Abby White in quotes was seduced by two men on her way to New York Fashion Week, an investment banker with a history of abusive relationships and a Spanish musician who'd been booked by the cruise line for evening entertainment. Oh yes, he was swarthy.
OK. 
Long story long, he says Abby started foaming at the mouth and convulsing while they were having sex. And she did have a history of seizures. 
OK. 
And she died. So he threw her overboard. 
Not out of porthole.
No.
OK. 
He threw her overboard because his wife was accompanying him. 
What?!
On this little freelance tour of his entertaining on the ship. And he didn't want her to know that he had had sex with somebody else. 
This is a made-up story, right? I don't have to hate this guy in real life.
Right. These people are made-up people. 
OK. 
But it's supposed to be based on the guy who threw the chick out the porthole, which is a real story. 
Right. OK.
Anyway, he was convicted and blah, blah, blah. And I'm being blasé about it because, like you said, these are not real people. 
Yeah.
But I was super-annoyed when I found out that these cases weren't real cases. 
Of course. 
I was like, “What is this bullshit?”
Of course! I would be. I'm annoyed by it. When you told me, I was, like, “What?”
And there's like this whole list out there now where you can kind of cross-reference, like you can see, “Oh, this episode was so-and-so. Whatever name they use is actually based on blah-blah case. So, there really were all these, I guess, killings or disappearances or whatever crimes on these cruises. But we're talking a span of the entire like…
As long as cruise ships have been around. 
Right.
Are you going to continue to watch the show? 
Of course, I am, because now it's just funny. But… but here's the thing. I should have known because the two “experts” they have in on this show, the experts, the forensic experts or whatever, you know, that they normally talk to on true crime shows. They'll have the cops who are involved in the case and they'll have a journalist, usually, or something like that. Their expert people on this show are a Canadian crime fiction writer who's really vampy-sexy looking. And I looked her up on Amazon and she's won some Amazon type awards. You know what I mean. Like, OK I'm a writer. I get it. Any award that you can brag about is whatever. But she was awarded some best newcomer or blah-blah-blah. 
OK. 
So, she converted that into being an expert on cruise ships.
Some Canadian dollars. 
Some loonies. 
So, anyway, I love you, Canada. I love Canadian people and I love Canada. 
Oh, Canada. 
But you just… you're kind of an easy target sometimes, just like people from the United States. And their crime expert dude is a former investigator. And you can tell that he used to work on ships. So basically, he was, like, a security guard on a ship cruise ship. 
OK. 
Because he has that kind of insider knowledge. 
I see. 
The captain is in charge when there are crime investigations because there is no police force on a cruise, which… why not?!
I don't know. I was just getting ready to say why wouldn't there be? You have police like official police. I wonder if there's issues with international waters or something.
Jurisdiction. 
Yeah. 
Yeah. But they explain over and over again on the show that the flag that the ship flies, that's the jurisdiction. But OK. Then have cops from that country on the cruise.
Exactly. I don't get it. That doesn't make any sense. I don't get it. Right up there with bra sizes. 
So anyway, here's what kept showing up every time I tried to search “Abby White murder case.” There's an actual high-profile murder case, an OnlyFans model. I don't know what OnlyFans is. But the article that I read made it sound like I should know what that is. 
OK.
And I was like, I'm not going to go down–
OnlyFans… OnlyFans…
It's all one word. 
OK. 
Capital O capital F. Abigail White. She actually killed her ex-husband or her ex-partner. I don't know if they were ever married but they had kids together and she was found guilty and sentenced to life in late 2022. But that's a whole other topic. 
So, this is quite the rabbit hole. 
I know, it was crazy! I think I missed an entire episode of Cruise Ship Killers researching the fake episode of Cruise Ship Killers that I'd already watched. 
OK. 
But it's like, each episode is, like, 45 minutes. You can find it on Roku, Freevee, and I think maybe one of those other free platforms that you have to watch commercials and you can't fast forward through them.
I've seen… Some of our platforms tell us we should check that out. 
Cruise Ship Killers?!
So, I think it's like on our home screen, where you have, like, all the options. And I know it has popped up like, “Hey…”
They must be pushing that show hard.
I think it said, “Brea Brown watches this show.” 
“So, steer clear. You take your rudder and point it in a different direction.” Anyway that was–
“Pop out the porthole.”
That was “Abby White murder case / Irene Gay Gibson / Cruise Ship Killers real names.”
That was… that was a good one. 
All right. What's up next for you?
I'm going to go with this one because it's kind of like it's a little along the same lines as yours. 
Really?!
A little bit of a rabbit hole. It's not quite that rabbit hole… rabbit hole-y.
Got it. 
This one is, “At what age do people begin talking about their ailments in general conversation?” And the reason I brought this one up is there are some people around me that… They don't bring up their ailments. They don't come in and they're like…
Right, right, right. 
But if, you know, they've been sick and you ask them, or they've had an accident and you say, “How are you doing,” just strap in because here it comes. And you better just get a hot beverage and sit back for an hour. And so it prompted me–because you know you and I, we’re getting to a certain age, and I have found myself bringing up my ailments or, you know, maybe like, “Man, I just… my sleep was off last night!” I'll tell you about you know… Who gives a crap?
When I tell my co-workers that I haven't had a bowel movement in three days, they think it's so weird. 
Jerks.
I call it a BM to make it less awkward, but no.
So, I googled this, just like, you know what, I’m going to Google it. 
Yeah. 
I stumped Google. This is what came back. It said are you wanting to talk to your kids about your dementia? Are you wanting to know when to have the talk with your child? Are you wanting to know when to talk to your parents about not driving anymore? All of these things.
Old person things. 
So, I kept searching, like, I kept scrolling, kept scrolling, and I finally found a blogger who wrote a post called, “Why older people talk about their ailments,” and this blogger’s name is Rachel McAlpine. She wrote her blog post from the inspiration of another blogger.
Okay.
Rachel came up with a list of things, why she thinks people start talking about their ailments. 
Okay. 
And so, she wrote, “We're more self-involved and self-centered than we used to be because of social media.” I am sorry, Rachel. I don't agree with that. My grandpa never used social media, and he talked about his ailments constantly. 
Right. 
So, I don't buy that one. Maybe we're talking about our ailments younger than we used to. 
Uh huh. 
That, I would buy. 
Yeah. Yeah. 
So, if that's what you meant Rachel, I'm with you.
She also said, “As our bodies begin breaking down, we equate it to getting older and closer to death,” which… you know, we don't like either one of those things. 
Yeah.
We're like suddenly like, “Oh wait. I used to be able to do this and now I can't.” Company and reassurance, like we're looking for someone else to say, “Oh man, my back hurts, too, for no reason.”
Well, misery loves company. 
Yes. 
Yeah. 
We've transitioned from “doctor knows best” to “do it yourself” health maintenance.
Yes. 
So, we're constantly Googling “why does my back hurt?” “Why am I not sleeping all of a sudden?” We want to live for a long time, so we share how to manage our ailments in case someone is interested. And then, we just want to offer support and empathy to our friends. Your friend says, “Oh man, I'm sleeping so badly!” and you go, “You know what? I’m sleeping so badly too!”
Okay. 
“Because my back has been bothering me or yada yada yada.”
It's kind of a peer pressure thing is what they're saying, a little bit. So, in order to fit in. 
Yeah. Like you don't want to go, “I feel just fine.”
So, it's a domino effect that if some people are talking about their ailments younger than they used to… you used to have to be, like, an octogenarian or whatever before you started–
Maybe so…
–talking about your sciatica and your chilblains or whatever the hell.
Chillblains?!
You're going to have to search them.
Search. Chillblains. 
Yeah. B-L-A-I-N-S. 
I'm going to write it down. I haven't experienced that, I guess.
Probably not, because we live in a modern age. 
Okay. 
Now, because of social media, we're a little bit more self-centered, and we're a little bit more obsessed with searching these things on the internet. “Why is my back hurting all of a sudden? I'm only 30.” Whatever. So, if even a couple of people are doing that, it starts to, like, rub off on people.
I don't know. 
So now we're a whole society of people who talk about their ailments. It's like how the English people talk about the weather all the time. Do you notice that people don't talk about the weather as much? They talk about ailments or they complain about you know whatever. 
I don't talk to a lot of people.
Or they complain about millennials. 
Well, because I'm stuck at a desk, I'm a captive audience for people. 
That sucks.
And they just share and share.
And if you are sitting in a high-traffic area, people feel like they can't walk by without saying something like, “Oh, it's rude if I don't say something.”
Yeah, just say… you can just say hi and keep on walking. 
Okay. 
Or not say anything because I'm usually in the middle of something and I don't want to constantly say hi all day either.
Yes 40 times a day. Hi, hi. Oh, hi. Oh hi. Oh, you again. Going to the bathroom. Hi. Just go. And don't tell me about it when you get done.
Yes. Everything came out alright. I like the new paper towels in there.
So, this gal, because her blog post was inspired by another one, I had to take a little clip. 
Oh yeah.
So I have a little quote from the original blogger who calls herself Aunt Beulah. Which, by the way, I love the name Beulah. I have a relative named Beulah, and I love it. So, here's just the beginning of her post. “As of January 1, 2017, I will no longer describe my latest ailment to anyone who will listen. It will be a difficult resolution to keep. I enjoy clucking away about my physical difficulties to those who don't retreat when I lean close and confide, ‘You know, I have this rash…’” It was actually a really funny post. I read the whole thing. 
Aunt Beulah. 
Aunt Beulah. I don't– that's not her name. I clicked around on her website and that is actually one of her relatives that she just loved. And so she called, that's what she calls her blog is Aunt Beulah. 
Oh. 
In honor of her relative. 
Oh.
And so this Rachel McAdams–
Wow. 
Whoa. Whoa. Not Rachel McAdams. Rachel McAlpine. She has a rule after reading this other blog. She's created a rule that no more than five minutes per meeting per person can be spent on discussing health problems, whether they be bunions or cancer.
Okay. 
Isn't that interesting? She said that she had realized she had spent an evening with her friends, and the entire evening, hours and hours, all they did was talk about their ailments. Didn't talk about family, didn't talk about work, didn't talk about movies, books they're reading, the food they're eating… They only talked about their health ailments, and she said, “I walked away going, ‘what a waste of an evening.’” 
So, she set up this new rule because it's not interesting to her? I don't know. See here's my problem with this. Not that I think that it's a grand time to sit around and talk about loose stools or whatever–
I don’t know what your problem is.
–all night with your besties when you don't get to hang out with them very often. But if that's what everybody's jamming on, go with it. And if that's what everybody's kind of venting about and that’s what's top of mind, then maybe she just needs to get new friends.
Or get together more often.
Right. But I don't know… When you start to place rules on casual gatherings with people…
Well, and if you needed to talk about your cancer to me for three hours, guess what? I'm going to let you talk about your cancer for three hours. Now, I don't know that I want to talk about your bunion for three hours.
Well, you love feet so much. So, I wouldn't even talk about my bunion to you. Except after we're done with this, you've got to take a look at this.
Okay, I will. 
I'm going to show you my bunion.
So anyway, I didn't learn necessarily at what age. 
Because there's not a set age. 
No, we're all different.
But it is interesting to me how some people… like that's, that is something they want to talk about. And, oh man, that is just… I just don't… please stop me.
Well, you probably won't because you find that off-putting. 
Yeah. 
And you think, well, that's private. 
Yes. And I don't want people to know that about me. 
Yes.
That's a pet peeve of mine is when you've just met someone…
Over sharing!
And they are over-familiar already. It's like, I don't even know you, and I know how many surgeries you've had and what hospitals they took place in. I don't need to know that. 
Since we're bitching…
Sort of. Sorry. 
It's time for one of my pet peeves. It's a grammar pet peeve.
Oh. That's a whole other podcast. 
I know. 
Grammar faux pas with Bibi.
That's what my granddaughter calls me, Bibi. She's amazing and beautiful and adorable. 
Okay, what is it?
When did this start? When people start, instead of saying, “I watched the United States versus Vietnam last night in the World Cup,” they say, “I watched the United States verse Vietnam.”
I've never heard that. 
You've got to be kidding me.
No. You mean like commentators or just Joe Schmo? 
Yes. Last night there was a commentator on Fox, and he did a special where he got together with some former New Zealand rugby player, and he said, “It was me verse her.” I was like are you f'ing kidding me? You are a professional who's supposed to know grammar and words and you're saying “verse” versus “versus.” 
Yeah, that's not… I have not heard that.
It drives me insane. 
Well, it would drive me insane, too. That's not correct. 
It is an epidemic. 
Is that someone is just shortening the word, like…?
That's what I thought at first. Like, we're so lazy now that every word has to just be one syllable.
Just be one syllable, yes. But no, I think people think that that's what it really is. You know how you abbreviate it “vs”? 
Yes.
So, they just think it's “verse.” But “verse” is something in a poem, a Bible, a song. You can be well-versed in something, meaning you're knowledgeable about something.
But when you are going head-to-head with someone or there's a competition or a court case or whatever, it's “versus” with a U, spelling-wise. 
But we say versus, or whatever. Verses.
But that's why people get it confused. “Versus,” “verses.” They're two different words. 
I'm thinking real hard about this because…
If you listen to anybody under the age of 40, they'll say it.
It's got to be like that. I'm trying to think, like, I'm thinking. I'm trying to think of a shortened word that people say, and I'm drawing a blank right now. So, what did your search produce? Did it produce anything that would help us here?
In my searches I found out from a linguist that this kind of emerged and became prevalent in the 80s. So, it's been around for a while that people have been doing this abomination on our language. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. And I get that language is ever-evolving.
Sure.
And it's, you know, it's a living thing. And that's why only dinosaurs get all het up about it. And I don't want to be that person… most of the time. But it just sounds so ignorant.
It's just not the right word. 
It's not the right word. It's an incorrect vocabulary usage. Now, there has been the development of a new word, “verse.” Gamers say this a lot. 
Okay. 
I've been told. 
Okay. 
They'll say things like, “I'll verse you in basketball,” or “We're versing each other.”
That's not where I thought you were going. 
So they'll turn it into a verb. You know. 
Yeah. 
“Our two teams are versing each other” and blah blah blah. Okay. That's fine. You're turning “versus” into a verb form. Right. But it's still “versus.” This is why I'm going to die young. I'm going to have an aneurysm. I just let stupid things like this bother me. But then the more it bothers you, the more you hear it. 
Right. 
And the more you notice it. 
Yes. 
People, this is a public service announcement. Please. I mean, maybe not a public service announcement. It's a Bibi service announcement so that I don't die young. Please stop saying “verse” instead of “versus.”
I'm going to listen for that now. I've not… I literally have not heard that. 
And supposedly educated people are doing this. This is not just kids. This is not just somebody who was interviewed because a tornado blew through and, “It was me verse the tornado.” This is not that. This is, like, educated, professional people saying this. And I guess I'm a language snob. 
And you know what? That's OK. You're an author. So, words are your world. 
They matter. 
And it's OK to be that way. And I appreciate it. 
Use the correct words. 
Yeah. I'm going to listen for that now. But I have not heard that.
I mean it's not, “Joe verse the volcano.” It’s not “Roe verse Wade.”
Also a good one.
So that's the old grammar rant. 
All right. It's a good one. So, this is kind of going to segue into my next one. When was The Stand originally published?
The Stand by Stephen King. 
Yes. And so, do you know? This blew my tiny pea brain.
I'm going to say in the 70s.
You're right. 
Yeah. 
I'm not a huge Stephen King fan. I appreciate him. I think he's really intelligent, and I like to listen to him being interviewed. He's really funny.
Yeah. He's a good interview.
But I've never… I've not read a lot of his books. 
Yeah. 
So, I decided a few weeks ago… This was before we left for New York… I decided I needed a new book, and I just… The Stand was available immediately at the library on e-book. So I checked it out and I started reading it. I don't know. I got maybe five percent into it. And it's so close to COVID-19 that I started becoming anxious. 
Yes.
I couldn't sleep.
I was waking up in the middle of the night, my heart pounding, sweating. I was going throughout my day, and I just I felt slightly anxious, but I didn't know why. 
Yeah. 
And it just finally hit me.
I was like, it is that book. It's so close. Not so close, but it was just bringing all that up. Like it wasn't paralleling it, but it was just bringing all of that up all over again for me. And I just was not having it. So, I was like, I'm sorry, Stephen King. I'm going to just… I can't read this right now, maybe in 10 years when it's less fresh, I can maybe read it, because it was good. I mean, it was interesting, and I was reading a lot of it. Then a few weeks later, after we got back from New York, I was like, I had to think about that again. And I thought, man, I really want to read that book. And then I thought, when was that even written? I don't even know. So, I pulled it up and I was like, “oh, what?!” So, then that freaked me out on a whole other level, because…
Did you think that it was written recently enough that he was drawing on COVID-19 for inspiration?
No. No, no, no, no. I knew it was minimum 10 to 15 years, at least, old. I knew that, but I didn't know it was this old. 
Yeah, it's old. 
’78 is when it was originally published.
Then it's real old. 
Yes.
So, the version that I got, there's an introduction by Stephen King. And so I read that. And so, he was saying that the original manuscript or whatever you want to call it, they made him cut it like crazy. And, you know, this book is, like, it is a cockroach killer. And so, they made him cut it because it's too long. And I can't remember how much they cut out, but a lot. He was telling how much this publisher made him cut. “I'm not going to publish this if you don't cut this down. So we're going to cut it or you can cut it.” So, he cut it himself. And so, the version that I checked out from the library, he added his shit back in.
Who keeps that?
So, it would be–is–a lot. Like, a lot. So, it's even longer than the original one.
So as a writer, 
Yes.
Not to interrupt, but I don't understand his process. Because who even keeps that shit? When you cut a book, especially back in 1978, you're typing that on a GD typewriter. You're not using a computer. He might have had a word processor. 
Maybe.
But you're still typing it out. Did he just keep the paper copies? I know some people used to use carbon copies. But how did he even have that, is what I'm getting at. How did he even have that stuff still around to put it back into the book?
I don't know. And I'm– You and I both know how bad my memory is, but I'm kind of having little flashes of him discussing this in that introduction to this version of the book.
OK.
I feel like he talked about that a little bit. It was a long introduction.
Of course, it was.
And he was explaining that because this was being republished with additional information, he was like, you people, this is not a new book. This is the same book. It was a funny introduction. 
“S0 don't get pissed off.”
Yes. It was… literally, I literally LOLed. That doesn't happen very often. 
No, it doesn't.
I was laying in bed, and I giggled. So I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how he saved it. I may get back to this book someday. 
You probably will.
I really want to read it. 
Here's the here's the ironic thing. This book upset you and affected your life so much. And then you came back from New York and probably had COVID. We don't know for sure. 
No, I don't know for sure because I'm an idiot. 
But we're pretty sure you either had COVID or you had mono-bronchitis or something.
RSV? It was something. 
It was something because you slept all the time.
Yeah. 
Anyway, not to get into your ailments. 
Right. HIPAA. 
Yeah. Sorry.
I think that's why it was still on my brain, and it was so upsetting. Well, no, I think that I was so sick that I was in the back of my mind. I was like, I think I've got COVID. And then it just, you know, your brain, it just jumps from this thing to that. So, I was laying there reading because I couldn't do anything else. And then it just… my brain just went back to that book again. And then that just made me think when was that even written? And I just find that fascinating. So, pandemics are not new.
But if his writing now and his depiction of it was still relatable to you and you were thinking, “oh, he wrote this 10, 15, maybe 20 years ago,” because that was still early 2000s.
No, no, it was 45 years ago. So it just… that's… that's a little different.
So that tells you kind of how visionary he is.
I want to talk to him about it. 
Yeah.
I would love– Oh, maybe that'll be one of my searches. Maybe he's had an interview since COVID to talk about that book.
Probably. Write that down with chillblains. I can't wait until you look up chillblains.
I don't know. It was just– I'm a simple person. You guys will find the longer you listen. I know, I'm simple. It just that 1978 date, I was like… I told Sean and he was like, “Yeah. Shut up, jerk! Just go with it and go, “What? 1978?!” I'm like, I can’t believe that. It's amazing.
You know, we know it's a long time ago because–
No, don't say it.
You know why we know that that year is a long time ago. We didn't have to do that math. 
OK. You also find I can't do math. It's really hard.
So, the fact that that just rolled off her tongue means that there's a connection there.
But anyway, a small connection. Tell me something about another one of your searches.
OK, my last one is about Herschel Walker's son.
Why don't I know that name? I know that name. But why don't I know who that is?
He was a football player.
OK, that makes sense. Back in the day.
Yeah, like I think 80s. OK, 90s maybe. But he recently ran for Senate. 
Oh.
And he ran on–
The US Senate? 
I believe so. 
OK.
One of those southern-ish states.
One of my great uncles is named Herschel. Continue.
I hope he's not like this guy. So anyway…
He's deed.
…not to get political. This is not about anything political, but the kids and I were talking about people who have political leanings that are surprising, knowing their backgrounds.
OK.
He's a black man and he's ultra conservative.
OK.
Like right-wing. And he's anti-abortion, staunchly. This is what he ran on. This was his platform. 
OK.
And family values and blah, blah, blah. So his son came out–Christian–and says, “Herschel Walker was a terrible dad. He abused me. He abused my mom. He had affairs all the time. He not only urged women that he was dating to have abortions, but he paid for their abortions.”
What?
This kid torpedoed his dad's campaign. 
Oh my gosh.
But then I was like, wow, what a brave kid, you know? And then I had to be informed by one of my kids that, “Well, he's not really a great guy, Mom. He's blah, blah, blah.” So we started talking about people who were not great people, but who did great things.
OK. That's an interesting conversation.
That you can do a good thing or be known for doing a good thing in history and still have been a garbage person. 
True.
There's lots of them. 
Of course, there are.
Or do garbage things and it might not make you a completely garbage person, especially given the time period that you lived in or whatever, but you're not going to be worshipped or deified or whatever. The obvious things are, like, presidents or founding fathers who had slaves and stuff like that. And a certain woman who wrote a series of wizarding books that we love who is now a little bit problematic, especially in our household, or this kid. You know, I just had to say, you know, sometimes–because I guess he's really, like, anti-LGBTQ, which is a strike in our house. And–
I have a question about him.
Yeah. 
So do you know, A, why he torpedoed the campaign?
He said that he felt like he was being asked to lie.
OK. My second question is, do we know if those things were true that he was saying?
Well, I mean, it's been corroborated. 
OK. 
Anyway, he didn't win.
How did this come up? How did this…?
Well, we were just talking. It was lunchtime and we were just talking, like you do. 
The conversations you have at your lunch table are better than–
They're exhausting, Cara. Sometimes I just want to eat a frickin’ bologna sandwich, okay? I come out, I come out of my bedroom / office / recording studio / whatever, and I just want to eat some effing lunch. This is all old news. But when you have an autistic child who suddenly, for whatever reason, thinks about something, she's going to talk about it whether you want to or not. And that's what we do. 
OK. Well, it makes for some really interesting searches for this podcast.
It does. Because originally she was like, “Oh, I’ve got to look up his name. I can't remember his name.” I was like, “No, no, I'll look it up!” But then I was like, oh, I don't know if I'm talking about this.
Do you still have any…? 
I just have one. 
OK, I'm ready.
And this could create a long conversation or a short one. I don't know.
Oh, crap. OK. 
Will there be another season of Quarterback on Netflix?
Oh, my Lord, I hope so. 
So, I looked it up. This is my search result is that, yeah, probably so. They were saying that they were in talks with Peyton Manning about it. And the reason they haven't determined if there will be a next show yet is, or next season, is because it's so early in the release of this original season one. And they don't have numbers yet. So… but I'm like, hello, Netflix. I think you can probably say, yeah, there's going to be a season two. I can't imagine a kajillion people have not watched that.
I know.
I've heard people talking about it. Luckily for me, the break room on our floor is just right on the corner from my desk.
Oh, that's so lucky.
I have heard the conversation since Quarterback was released. And people are talking about Quarterback in the break room. And the majority of the people on the floor I work on are women.
Well, there are some there's some eye candy in Quarterback. 
Oh.
Are you thinking about in your break room? No.
I was like, what are you talking about? No. No. Yeah.
So, I mean, that sounded so sexist like women can't like football. You know, I love football. 
Yes. 
It's my passion.
It's just a bonus. 
But that show is going to draw even more than just football fans because…
It totally is. So, of the quarterbacks, current quarterbacks, who would what three would you pick for next season? Jordan Love. They would have to pick Jordan Love because this is first season. Amazing.
Would you pick? 
Oh, my gosh, Cara. I almost just said, “Does it have to be quarterbacks?”
Let me explain. So, the name of the show is Quarterback. Now, if there was a show maybe called Running Backs…
Let's pretend like I didn't ask that stupid question. Quarterbacks. I think Derek Carr might be interesting. He just got traded from the Raiders to New Orleans. And I always thought he got kind of a raw deal in in Las Vegas, that there were problems with that whole organization.
I agree.
He's a good quarterback and it just kind of fell on his shoulders.
And so if we did Derek Carr, Jordan Love. Why don't you want to watch Jordan Love?
I'm not interested in him. I don't know why. 
It's all right. You don't have to be.
I don't think… I think it's because I just don't know enough about him. Like, he's just not… he probably would be a good choice, though, because he would be kind of the person that people wouldn't know much about.
So, well, and I think choosing him would be interesting because this is his first year as starting quarterback.
Yes, I think that would be interesting.
Yeah, but maybe that would be too much distraction for him.
I don't know. 
His coaches might be like, maybe no.
Yeah, I didn’t think about that. I don't know.
I would absolutely… If there's season two, I will give it a shot. But it's going to be hard to top this last one.
And the producers of this show just got so lucky.
Yeah, they did. What the heck?
They had no idea that that season was going to turn out that way.
No, you don't know. Yeah, that whole the whole thing could be a dud.
Like all three of your quarterbacks. 
Yeah. Get hurt. 
Yeah. What if they all got hurt and were just benched?
That'd be a great show.
Although they did have a lot of other stuff, you know, like with their houses and their families and their kids.
OK, I'm going to be a real jerk right now. And I'm going to tell on myself for being a jerk. 
OK.
But I feel like I've gotten better. I've come around. I wasn't a huge fan of Britney [Mahomes]. I really… I was judging her on things I've seen on the media.
Stuff she's done in tweets.
Superficial things. I was like, I don't think I would like that person. I don't think we would get along. But the more I watched her, and this is, this is where the turning point was for me that I think I would like her… She was a soccer player. 
I know! I had the same exact kind of light bulb moment.
When I learned that, I have a whole new level of appreciation for her and respect.
Yes. Yes. 
And I enjoyed watching her watch the game.
Me too. I was just like, oh, man, that would be me.
Yes. I'm so glad that they put that much in there about her. I'm glad that I learned that about her because I have a new level of appreciation for her and try not to judge people so harshly.
Yeah. 
As a person as her own person. 
Yes.
I liked the part where someone… I don't know if it was, I don't know if it was a friend that was just talking about what a badass she was. They're like, “She's having a baby in the morning, and she's just sitting out there, just, you know…” and I was like, yeah, that's what women do. 
Yeah. Women are badasses.
Yeah. 
I don't know. I just really enjoyed getting to know her a little bit better.
That's the end of my top five searches.
But what about this one? 
But what about this one?
These are the other searches from this week and they're a little bit boring. But here we go. Okay.
And you can't judge me for this first one, okay?
Okay. 
Please.
Okay! What the heck…?
What is a fly leaf page? Teeny little super guy. Titan games. How often to water a small succulent. Nope, the movie. Alan Arkin. And The Bear.
So, here's my but what about this one? List.
Okay.
Cruise ship jobs. Sporting Kansas City. 
Of course.
Barbell weight. Nutsy Fagan. Jutlandia ship. Very nautical.
If any of those are interesting to you listeners, Heather and Hopper, then let us know.
Because they may or may not be featured in a future episode.
Yes.
And how would people get in touch with us, Cara?
Oh my gosh. So, we would love to hear from anybody, everybody. Good, bad, ugly, all of the things.
You can email us at delete this history podcast at gmail.com. You could also follow us at DTH gals on Instagram and Twitter.
I might send us an email just so we get one.
We already get email. It's junk.
So, send us something more interesting than our junk mail. 
Absolutely.
We want to hear what you like about the show. 
What you don't like.
What searches you want to hear more about.
What searches you've done.
What do you have in your search history that the cops would be like, huh?
Let us know. No, don't. I don't want to be part of… I don't know. I don't want to be subpoenaed or something.
We don't have time for that. So, leave out all those Nutsy Fagan search histories.
But we just want to know what you're searching about your current ailments. What rashes are you finding? How many calories are in your venti vanilla latte?
Man, don't look that up.
I'm not going to.
But in the meantime…
Yeah?
I'm going to go delete my history.
Oh, me too. See you next time.
Bye. 
DELETE THIS HISTORY is created, written, hosted, produced, and edited by Brea Brown and Cara Burch.
Theme music by Orkas. Email us at delete this history podcast at gmail dot com.
Find us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at DTH Gals. Copyright 2023. All rights reserved.
Today's Old Man Laugh was brought to you by possible COVID-19.