Then I think about when I was pregnant, and my mom and dad's dog ate my pizza rolls when I left them unattended.
Do I know that? I don't think I know that story.
I made some pizza rolls. My mother-in-law came by and was like, hey, you want to go do this? And I was like, yeah, okay. So, I put the pizza rolls on the counter and pushed them back. And their stupid Dalmatian jumped up on the counter and ate my pizza rolls. 
Oh, I bet he had a burned mouth. 
I don't give a crap. Hope it hurt. I was so mad. You do not eat a pregnant woman's pizza rolls.
[THEME MUSIC: “SO GOOD” BY ORKAS]
Welcome to Delete This History, a podcast by two besties of a certain age searching for answers. We are your hosts, Cara Burch and Brea Brown.
Episode four.
Did you think we'd get here?
Absolutely.
I did too, because we don't back down. We're like Tom Petty.
Yep.
I'm starting to look like him too.
You know what's weird is I mentioned Tom Petty in this week's episode. Did you just get chills? You don't look like you got chills. You're contemplating.
I just got a typical McCaskill feeling.
Yeah. It's not shocking. I know what you've been doing all week. You don't even have to tell me.
What?
Reading all of my text messages about social media and how I hate it and how I'm not doing good at it, and I hope nobody's following it right now. Oh, I struggled.
We have both been on the struggle bus with the social media.
It's broken down a lot of times.
With the sosh meeds.
It's going to get better.
The bright spots about social media though, Indi's debut.
Indi's debut.
She's so cute.
That's my dog, not Brea's.
That's right. Cara needs to learn how to speak like Bob Dole in social media texts. There's a nice old reference for you in speaking the third person so that everybody knows who's talking.
The perm pic was a big hit.
It was a huge hit.
Oh my gosh.
Especially on Facebook. People who knew me back then were really into it.
I looked at that picture more than once. I love it.
I kept looking at it and it looks like my daughter Jacki.
I showed it to Sean. He went, whoa.
It is creepy.
She looks like Jacki. I thought you had sent me a picture of Jacki. It's amazing.
I sent you two. In one, I looked like a real stoner, so I asked you to use the other one.
It's a good picture of you.
Well thanks. I mean it was before I got my teeth fixed.
They're so cute though.
My little bunny teeth. What else is going on in your world, Cara Burch?
I have a delivery date for my new car.
By the time this episode airs on the 22nd…
I should have it. Sean and I were talking about what we're going to name her.
I don't name my cars.
I only named my first car, because of course, I was sixteen, and you have to name your car. But I haven't named any since, but I feel like she and I are starting out together. I think she needs a name. I said I think it needs to be classy because it's a classy car. So, I'm kicking around ideas like Accordia or Hondina. If anybody has any classy names to go with a pearl white Honda Accord hybrid, I'll take any suggestions.
Okay. Now my husband does call my vehicle the Wokemobile, because of all my stickers on it. And I kind of have a funny story about that this week.
Oh, what is it?
I didn't put it up on our board what of what we're going to talk about. I was the lunch taxi for people at work on Thursday. We all went out to lunch. And one of the people who rode with me, he's on the conservative side but we love him anyway. And he got in my car, and he said I don't know about sitting over here. And I said why? And he said it was because of the Patrick Mahomes stickers. Because he’s a 49ers fan.
Ugh. Why?
I know. Again, two strikes, dude. But anyway, I said well slide on over and you can sit over by the window that has the uterus on it.
What’d he say to that?
And he said I think I'll just stay over here. So you know.
The uterus.
Whatevs.
Oh my gosh.
But every time I add a sticker especially if it has a little message my husband says, “Add another one to the Wokemobile.” And I love that name.
I love it too it's the best.
I also got my butt pillow, my extra-large butt pillow, this week.
What's the review?
Well, I just opened it and unpacked it this morning and used it for the first time. It's amazing.
Nice.
But what really got me was the literature on the inside of the packaging. One of the things in there it said it actually said all day sitting comfort. And I was like decision making validated. All day. It's like they know me. The Cushion Lab, sponsor us.
The Cushion Lab is the name?
Yeah.
Oh, I need to work there.
What else?
I got a letter from the Alzheimer's Association this week.
Have they been listening to the podcast?
Announcing the new drug for Alzheimer's, which thank goodness they're making a breakthrough there because I'm pretty sure I'm going to need their help. And it's not addressed to the resident. It's addressed to me. And I said why am I getting a letter straight up from the Alzheimer's Association?
And Sean said, “Cara, that’s the fifteenth one you’ve gotten.”
You're married to a funny, funny man.
I hate you but that's also really funny.
I love it.
He had another good one.
We went and saw Oppenheimer Thursday night. No spoilers. 
Except that it’s long.
Manage your liquids, girl. On the way, I said “I'm so excited to see this movie. I've heard such good things about it.” Sean said, “I know! I heard it's the bomb.”
Oh my gosh.
He was on fire this week.
His puns.
He lives for puns.
They're not just dad jokes peeps. He's a dog dad but…
He's also a dork. But I love him.
Anything else going on with you?
One more thing I did want to mention before we get started is you know how I'm obsessed with the analytics.
She is.
For the podcast. So, I look every day sometimes multiple times a day to see what's going on. Who's downloading how many people where they live. I'm stalking you all. We have a new international download.
Where?
You know last week I said Belgium and Mexico and the UK. This week Israel.
You're kidding.
I'm not kidding.
So random. Oh my.
I bet they thought it was something else.
I mean not that people from Israel can’t enjoy this.
We may have a new fan.
We might be like David Hasselhoff in Germany. We might be the David Hasselhoffs of Israel.
That's my dream.
Anything else?
No.
All right.
You know what we're here for.
I do know what we're here for.
Do you? Because I don't.
Oh OK. Let me tell you.
OK.
You and I search a lot of things for various reasons. Because you're settling arguments between your children. We might be trying to learn new things. And our searches are kind of ridiculous sometimes.
Sometimes?
So, we're here to share those with our listeners.
Exactly.
Because everybody needs to laugh.
We call this the reading of the lists.
Brea and I choose our top five searches for the week that we think will be the most interesting.
Would you like to hear?
No.
Oh.
I thought you were going to ask if I wanted to go first.
I was going to ask if you would like to hear my list.
And I was going to say no you have to go first.
Yes.
Because it's your turn to go first.
It's my turn. Week four.
Cara's list first. Here we go. Number one.
Balls at the end of long ropes to swing during a performance slash entertainment act swinging rope balls slash entertainment act swinging rope balls kind of like nunchucks. Number two. What does the year-round blue porch light indicate. Number three. What is Carrot Top up to? Number four. Roy Orbison. Number five. Human dog bed.
All right. Those are weird. I'm ready though.
Okay. I want to hear yours.
My list for this week in no particular order is number one. Fake bear Chinese zoo. Number two. Cat Lavoie author books. Number three. Waldo Astoria. Number four. Four one five area code. And number five. German word for hopefulness followed by crushing resignation.
How dare you call my list weird?
I cannot wait to tell you about all these searches.
But before we do we got to play a little game called search me.
This is a game where we each pose one question to each other and see if she can answer based only on the reading of the lists.
Your prize this week is a prize that I have had for a month and a half. Because I forgot I purchased it in New York. I promptly came home put it in my podcast bag and forgot it.
Oh, excellent.
I've been carrying it back and forth all these weeks. So, your prize is… it's a New York notebook. But if you open the cover, I've pasted a picture of me inside it. This is my selfie from on stage at Carnegie Hall.
I love it.
This is before this is we were getting ready to start our dress rehearsal. So now every time you open this New York notebook, my little face will be right there.
It's a beautiful little picture and I could never get enough notebooks. So perfect.
Okay, so it's got a picture of the Flatiron building on the front of it.
I love the Flatiron building.
It is a cool area.
Learned a little bit about that in America The story of us, watching with Peyton.
That's cool.
Yeah.
All right. So that's your prize. So, your question is how many of those particular searches were prompted while I was driving around this town?
I'm going to guess two.
No.
Do you want to guess again?
Three.
No.
You want to guess again?
No.
It was four.
Four of my searches.
Four out of five.
Yep. All but the human dog bed.
You're really concentrating on other things besides driving, which is comforting.
I'm sure these all happened at stoplights. And you waited till you got to your destination.
Absolutely, because my memory will hold all of that information until I stop and turn off my vehicle.
Correct.
Positive.
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
I really want you to have this notebook.
Well, I will play for it next week.
Okay.
You sure?
Yep.
I'm going to set a little sweet notebook over there.
Because that's how we work, Cara, because this week you are still playing for the washi tape. Two thirds of the washi tape.
I'm excited. I want this.
However, I have decided to sweeten the pot because the washi tape is getting a little bit old.
Yes, I guess.
It's not very exciting anymore.
Okay.
So, I'm throwing in a pad of everyday paper.
Oh my gosh.
And it's card paper and it's pretty flowers.
Oh, look how Hawaiian that one is.
I know.
Oh, it's so cute.
There's so many different ones.
I know.
Oh, there's some polka dot ones.
I really want this. Okay.
I knew you would.
What is my question that I'm definitely going to get right?
Before we get there though.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I want you to think a little harder and take your time.
Okay, I'm going to.
Before you answer.
Because for somebody who claims that she can't make a decision, you sure do pull the trigger on your answers.
You're right.
And it doesn't serve you.
You're right.
You're just like, 
Do you know why? Because I am a trivia freak and I want to get like, I get really excited.
But you're making us look like liars about this whole one brain thing.
I know.
Okay.
I'm going to.
Okay.
I'm going to get this.
That's enough chastising.
Cara, which search was the result of an incoming text that had me replying with the old lady version of new phone who dis, which is sorry, I don't have this number programmed into my phone. To whom am I speaking?
Okay. Oh, I feel like this is a softball.
It's not a trick question.
I feel a lot of pressure right now.
You really shouldn't because it is a softball.
Is it 415 Area Code?
Yes ma'am.
Yes. I feel so good.
Can I tell you a little about this?
I would love to hear about it.
Experience?
Yes.
So, I got a text message Monday afternoon asking what I was doing after work from a number that I didn't recognize, from the 415 area code. So, I quickly searched and saw that it was a San Francisco area code. And one of my editors does live in that sort of area ish. So, I sent back the grammatically extra correct response. To whom am I speaking? And I started a conversation with someone or a bot. I don't know.
Yeah.
And she apologized profusely for having the wrong number and said she thought she was dialing her buddy Alice. And I told her no worries for the confusion and you know it happens to all of us and I tried to get back to work. But she kept texting and thanking me for being so polite with my replies and blah blah blah. Here's where I started to get suspicious and what ultimately made me block the number. She continued texting me and then she said, “I noticed you have the area code blah blah blah. Are you from Missouri? Being an Asian woman, I haven't explored many places in the United States and I have heard Missouri is a really good place to visit.”
Oh, my goodness.
That's the part there. I've heard Missouri is a really good place to visit. So she’s getting some really bad advice from somebody. Or it's a bot trying to butter me up and get more info from me.
Wow.
So, I blocked the number.
Yeah.
And then I kind of felt bad.
What?
Because hear me out.
Okay. I'm sorry.
While nobody hears that Missouri is a really good place to visit, especially for minorities, if she really is an Asian woman here in the United States wanting to explore more of the United States, I probably should have at least warned her away. Just in case she was legit.
No, I think.
Like don't come here.
I think your gut reaction that that was a scam is correct.
Okay.
Or a bot.
There's no asking me for like click this link or anything like that.
No but I think you did the right thing.
I don't know.
I just started to think maybe it's just some older woman for real.
No, you're just that nice. Blocking that old Asian lady was the right thing to do.
Oh my gosh.
I felt… I did feel bad.
Oh, my goodness.
When I said to block I was like oh man.
As your friend and your one brain don't feel bad.
You did the right thing.
I should have texted back unless you're a cis hetero white male who really likes the outdoors. This is not a good place to visit.
Oh, my goodness.
No offense to all of you who love Missouri, and you love this state.
That was interesting.
That was the story behind the 415-area code search.
Amazing.
I really thought so.
Well, that brings us to our next segment.
You and I have a lot of shared history and that's what this segment's called. And not only do we have a long shared history that goes way back. We also are going to be sharing our search histories with each other and all of you listeners out there.
Absolutely.
The first search I'm going to tell you about is number one balls at the end of long ropes to swing during a performance. Thank you for not making me wait. I was driving down a major street near where I work and there was a guy walking down the middle of all this traffic on the raised concrete median with a rope in each hand. And at the end of these ropes was obviously a weighted ball and he is just sauntering down this concrete median and he's swinging these like a performer. I don't even know how to explain it. It's his choice to walk in traffic. It's my choice to look up what the hell those ropes are with balls at the ends of them.
The crazy is so strong in this town.
It reminded me of like in Hawaii you might go to a luau and they're the fire dancers. So that's what it reminded me of. So that's why I started searching. I just started putting in all the words I could think of to describe what I saw which was balls at the end of long ropes to swing during performance because why else would you have those? I guess you use them to walk down a median.
These are my walking down the median balls.
Exactly.
Rope balls.
Rope balls.
Then entertainment acts swinging balls. Then I got really specific. Google was working very hard to help me out with this one and it was like are you meaning to ask what are the balls that clack together? You remember clack balls?
Oh my gosh yes.
I was like no Google not clack balls.
And then it said are you trying to search if nunchucks are illegal in Illinois? It's incredibly random.
Now you know.
So, I got even more specific and I typed in rope balls swung during an act similar to Polynesian fire dancing and boom. I hit on poi, P-O-I, performance art. And that's what it is. My further searching with poi performance art led me to learn that not only can poi be a performance art, it can also be exercise and poi is also the name of the balls attached to the ropes. So, you're swinging poi. So, it's been used by the Maori people, which are indigenous to New Zealand, to improve dexterity, strength, coordination, flexibility and balance. It was eventually incorporated into performance art which involves swinging tethered weights through a variety of rhythmical and geometric patterns. Poi artists might also sing or dance as they are performing. And the poi can be made of various materials with handles, weights and effects such as fire. Justification! I was right.
Look at you.
Right away I knew what I was seeing.
You spotted those and you were like.
Those should be on fire.
Oh my gosh that's all that they needed. Walking through traffic with fire swinging around.
I would have just stopped and watched.
Maybe he felt inspired by the Women's World Cup over there in New Zealand and Australia. He was like hey, time to get out the poi. Oh poi.
Oh poi!
Oh gosh. Sean has invaded my brain.
You should have seen his face when I read this search.
Oh my gosh.
He just stared at me.
You didn't talk about this around the dinner table that night or whatever?
No, I didn't. I like to save up my searches and let him read them all at once while I'm preparing for the podcast.
Yeah to get a good reaction.
Yes.
Yeah that's smart. I wouldn't have that kind of restraint.
Tell me about one of your searches.
Okay, the first one I'm going to talk about because this is what I like to do. I like to talk about the heavy slash sad ones first.
I appreciate that.
Cat Lavoie, author, books. Someone I knew from one of my other lives passed away.
Oh.
Cat. I haven't been on social media in what like five years, so I didn't know that she was even sick. She had a rare form of cancer.
Oh no.
I deduced from the posts that I saw but she was a fellow chick lit writer, rom coms, romantic comedies whatever you want to call it. And she was funny and kind and supportive. She was in a couple of the groups that I was in back when I was in indie and trying to get started and we're all struggling with the same stuff you know how to get exposure, how to get new ideas, how to write better. And we collaborated briefly on a project together. I actually helped her typeset and format one of her books, Peri in Progress, which is a really cute book. We were just kind of acquaintances. We weren't buddies or didn't really get to know each other on any kind of deep level or whatever. But it's just another person in my life and this one's younger than me passing away. I mean it's just like lately it's just been so many people. Every time I turn around somebody I know who's too young to die is dying and it's really freaking me out a little bit.
I'm sorry to hear that.
And I'm just really sad you know so I looked her up because I was looking up a link to share on social media to get people to read her books and it kind of sucks that she's not alive to see the bump in sales or whatever. Her books are worth reading so everybody look up Cat Lavoie, author books. She provided some joy to me, and I wanted to share that with everybody here.
That's really nice. I'm sorry to hear that she passed away.
The good ones always die young. That's what Billy Joel says. And then the dickheads, they get to hang around forever. So that's kind of my bummer.
Well, I'm sorry.
But I wanted to bring it up because I feel like she deserves tribute.
Absolutely.
Rest in peace Cat. Hey follow that one.
Well, you know what let's talk about Roy Orbison.
Oh yes.
We'll ramp up. We're gonna do some roller coaster rides today. So, Roy Orbison, I'm a big fan of his music and he popped up on my playlist this week working for the man was the song and that song always makes me laugh. I don't know why but it just it's a very jovial like it's an upbeat song. I would sing it for you, but I can't afford it. That's what Brea keeps telling me. I thought you know what I don't know that I know all there is to know about Roy Orbison, so I searched him and it turns out I knew a lot more than I thought I knew. But I did learn one thing. He stood out from a lot of the other rock and roll acts of the period because his lyrics were more vulnerable. And the other rock and roll performers chose to project more machismo if you will. His signature look was very dark sunglasses. I did not know how that came about. So, he was touring with the Beatles. He was opening for them in 1963. And he accidentally left his very thick prescription glasses on the airplane and all he had with him was his prescription sunglasses.
Oh my gosh.
And so, he used those during the performance and he actually really liked them better as he was performing. And so, he just went with it and the teens went wild.
They did.
They loved it. It added to some of the mystique and like his loner persona. Isn't that funny?
You know he was kind of emo before emo was cool.
You're right.
So, he's very popular and then he had a lot of personal tragedies and it just really killed his career. And so, he kind of fell off the radar for a while but then he had a resurgence in popularity in the 80s.
Yes he did.
And then, in 1988, he co-founded the Traveling Wilburys. Have you heard of them?
Yes.
I love the Traveling Wilburys. My mother-in-law loved the Traveling Wilburys mostly because they were made up of George Harrison. She's a huge Beatles fan. Oh yes. Bob Dylan. She was a huge Bob Dylan fan.
Really?
Oh yes.
Okay.
Tom Petty.
Yes.
And Jeff Lin.
Who's Jeff Lin?
I have no clue.
I cannot believe you didn't look it up.
I started to and I was like this search is already too long. I'll look up Jeff Lin later.
Jeff Lin, Traveling Wilburys.
Jeff Lin, Traveling Wilburys. I'm gonna look it up. So anyway, here's the really sad part that I didn't realize. He co-founded that group in 1988, and he died in 1988. At 52!
Yeah he was young.
He was young.
Would you like to hear a funny story about Roy Orbison and me? When I was a little kid, when I was very little, like a baby, that song with him and K.D. Lang, “Crying,” was popular and it played on the radio all the time. I think it was a cover. Like it was older and then they re-released it with him and K.D. Lang. And so every time it would come on the radio when I was in the car with my mom and granny who lived with us, I would sit in the back seat and when they would get to the part where they go kind of high and they say crying, I would go ehhhh. I would pretend like I was crying.
I thought you were gonna say you met Roy Orbison or something.
Hell no.
That's still a good story because you know why? It sounds like something Peyton would do in the back seat.
Oh my gosh, it's totally a Peyton move.
It just sounds exactly like something he'd do.
Like when he did the oh oh oh oh. Reilly’s. Auto parts. Ow. He did the ow part. He must have been like maybe two.
I forgot about that.
We about lost it.
Oh shoot.
So many good memories of Peyton in the car.
My next search that I want to talk about is the fake bear Chinese zoo.
Oh no. This isn't gonna be another Collie Man thing is it?
No.
Okay.
But I do mention Collie Man in my…
Of course, you do.
Because that's why this news story caught my attention. It was in my news feed.
Yeah because you clicked on Collie Man and now they're like this lady will click on anything.
She loves things about Asian people in suits.
Yeah okay.
So, a Malayan sun bear named Angela at a zoo in China was captured on video and it went viral because people thought it was a person in a bear suit. They thought it was a zoo worker in a bear suit. And I looked it up and it does look less convincing than Toco in the Collie costume. But the zoo insists that it's just what sun bears look like. When they get up on their hind legs they're about the size or the height of a tall person but still a person. And it looked like the way that the bear's skin was kind of wrinkled in the butt area it looked like a costume with a saggy butt.
Oh my gosh.
But people have gone nuts over this, and people are flocking to this zoo. They’re getting, like, 20,000 people a day coming to see this bear.
What?
I'm not kidding. So look it up.
I'm looking right now.
It does look like it does look like a suit.
I know.
It's kind of creeping me out a little bit.
But as a fellow saggy asser, I feel for the poor girl. I mean I'm sorry Angela the sun bear. I'm with you girl.
I just stopped having Collie man nightmares. This is new.
So, animal experts have weighed in and they back up the zoo saying yeah this is really what they look like.
Ew. It's too human looking.
Mm hmm.
Why is it so skinny? What is its native homeland? Is it an Asian bear?
Malaysia.
Okay.
It's weird looking.
I know. It looks like something that was poorly done. Poor taxidermy that was put up in Bass Pro Shops or something. To scare the little kids. I love that her name is Angela.
I was thinking the same thing. That's a great bear name.
Alright I'm going to transition to human dog bed.
Hmm.
Because it's you know animal based. I don't really have much to say about this. But this popped up when I searched best dog birthday cake near me for Indi.
Oh, for Indi's B day.
She turned six. And so, then as I was looking at these birthday cakes for dogs it said oh if you're interested in that you might be interested in a bed for yourself that looks like a giant dog bed but it's actually for humans.
Why?
Have you seen these things? Human dog bed?
No.
Okay I took a little picture for you. Look at that. Oh Brea doesn't like it.
So, you put it on your bed.
You can put it anywhere.
It's just like a wraparound body pillow.
Yeah so we have for our dogs we call them bagel beds.
Yes it does look like a bagel.
Yeah. And so, they've just increased the size of bagel beds for dogs.
I don't know Cara. It might be about the size of the bagel beds that your dogs need.
They would love it.
Because they are humongo.
They are pretty big.
They are tall.
I think it looks extremely comfortable and I would like to have one but I'm not going to because they’re $400.
Holy crap.
It's like my bed will be just fine.
Besides the dogs would use it anyway and then it'd be doggy.
Oh, speaking of weird sleeping apparatuses. Apparati?
Where are we going with this?
Well, have you seen those sleep pods where you can put your feet down in them and they come up all the way around you and there's a little hole at the bottom so your feet can you can like poke your foot out kind of like Sean and I like to say we like to do.
A cooling fin.
The cooling fin.
You can poke your feet out but it's like a cocoon that you put yourself in.
That sounds like a nightmare.
It looks so claustrophobic.
So, is it like a onesie?
It. I can't remember the name of it. They say it's moisture wicking and all the things and it makes you feel like you're being swaddled like a baby.
I need to be able to get out of my sleep situation.
Well, you can because you can just poke your feet out and then you can walk.
No, I mean like no oh I don't have to look that up. I think my brain's making it worse than it may be. It sounds like.
No.
Oh, it sounds torturous.
I have a weighted blanket and I like to use that in the winter not in the summer. Too freaking hot and especially now that I'm Miss Perry Menopausal in progress.
You can't remember the name of it. What should I search?
Look for a sleep pod cocoon.
Oh, there it is.
Nope. Not just no. I can't like I can't breathe just looking at that picture.
So anyway, it's supposed to.
That looks terrifying.
It's supposed to help you with anxiety. Kind of like a weighted blankie.
See, that would create anxiety for me. Hooded sleep pod. You're right.
Yeah. Sleep pod. 
Oh no no no no.
These pictures are hilarious.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, I see what you're saying about the feet.
Yeah they've got little holes down at the bottom where you can keep your feet in but then there's like an escape hatch.
No.
So, you can put a foot out and have your cooling fin.
There's nothing in the world that's more non-cara than that thing right there.
Yeah it looks a little like it wants a commitment. I'm not down with it. Remember when we could just sleep?
Without extra help because.
Without all these contraptions and weird things and melatonin and.
I blame social media.
Well yeah I blame them for everything. Especially after this week.
So, the next thing I would like to talk about is the Waldo Astoria. I was reading the next book in one of my favorite Cozy Mystery series. It's called Clouds in My Coffee by Julie Mulhern and it's part of the Country Club Murders. It’s set in Kansas City, Missouri, in the 1970s, and the country club social set. So, it's all these really vapid shallow people who really care about social stuff and appearances and everything. And the main character kind of like Angela Lansbury she's always finding dead people or in the middle of murder mysteries. In it she mentions the Waldo Astoria and I thought I bet there's a story there. I know about the Waldorf Astoria but the Waldo Astoria nope. So at first Google thought I'd made a mistake when I typed it in.
Google is so smug.
Do you mean the Waldorf Astoria? And I persevered and told it I really don't want the F on the end of that. Thank you. And it said oh yeah I actually do have a lot of results for that.
Google come on.
It's like stay in your lane Google.
Absolutely.
You know what you're doing.
The Waldo Theater opened in Kansas City on August 25, 1973, so in the book I'm reading it's the new quote unquote theater which is hilarious. And it was quickly dubbed the Waldo Astoria by locals, but the building wasn't new. It was originally the Westmoreland Theater, when it opened in 1924. It showed silent films, and it showcased vaudeville and burlesque acts.
La la la la.
I know!
Risqué.
Yeah.
It had changed its name to the Waldo Theater and switched strictly to movies by 1939, and then it showed its last movie, the Godfather, in 1972.
[wheezing and bad Godfather impressions]
Sonny. That line that’s famous.
Make you an offer you can't refuse. I'm terrible at impersonations.
What that was amazing.
So, enter these two local theater producers who were already successfully running a dinner theater called Tiffany's Attic. They took over the building after it closed in 1972 and they refurbished it and turned it into a dinner theater like Tiffany's Attic. But it was very expensive to maintain because it was an old building. It wasn't in a part of town where people were just flocking because at that point in history people were starting to move out to the suburbs. The two closed the theater in 1991. And eventually parts of the building were demolished to make room for more parking. Eye-roll America! In 2007, a fire destroyed what was left of the building, which had been housing retail and other commercial spaces.
Oh geez. So, then it didn't turn into a parking lot.
Um yeah then it was just gone. I don't know what's there now.
Interesting.
Anyway, my source was cinematreasures.org.
Hmm that's cool. I like it. That's a good search.
It was interesting and I really enjoyed learning about it.
Have you finished that book yet?
I have not.
I'm about halfway through.
Okay. What was the author's name again?
Julie Mulhern.
Okay. I'm reading Gone Girl.
Oh, for the first time?
Yeah. I've not seen the movie either, so I don't know how this ends but I have my theories about what's about to happen.
I bet your mind's gonna be blown.
My next search I'm gonna share with you is what is Carrot Top up to?
Oh gosh I'm dying to know.
Okay girl, listen. Carrot Top has a very strong presence on Instagram. So, I took Carrot Top deep dive.
Whoa.
I scrolled through a bunch of his videos and his pictures, and it was actually pretty entertaining I have to say. I learned that he loves loves country music.
Hmm.
And.
I thought you were gonna say carrots.
He might he never talks about carrots though. And he likes to dance to country music too. He enjoys that a lot.
That is a mental image.
He has a boat that he loves, and he takes his boat out on a lake. I think that's in Florida because that's where he's from. Also, if you start to watch these videos beware he wears Speedos on his boat and he shows you his Speedos. So that's happening.
And a lot more I'm sure.
There is a lot going on there. And he posts a weekly video on his Instagram that he calls Saturday Night Stories and is actually very interesting. They're kind of serious talks. He just plops down, and he tells things about his life or things that have happened. One of the stories I found particularly interesting was he told about his dad who was a NASA engineer.
Oh wow.
I know it was a very interesting story and he just talked about one of the projects that he had worked on which was a really big project, a very important project and of course I can't remember the name of it and just what it was like to grow up with a NASA engineer.
I bet it was a laugh a minute.
So, then I found out that he has been the comedian in residence at the Luxor Hotel in Vegas since 2005.
Holy S’moly.
He’s about to hit 20 years at the Luxor. Did you know that?
No.
I didn't either. I think that's incredible.
Anyway.
I think I did know that he was out in Vegas though.
I knew he was in Vegas, but I just thought, you know, he's just going out there and doing some shows every now and then. But he has been at the Luxor for about twenty years straight.
That's crazy.
Isn't that nuts? I couldn't believe it.
Anyway, his real name is Scott Thompson in case you guys didn't know that.
That is so funny. Like one of the kids in the hall.
I've never seen that.
Holy smokes.
I know that's one of your favorite shows, but I've never seen it.
It doesn't age well, and they tried to.
They rebooted that didn't they?
Yeah, they tried to reboot it and bring it back and I really wanted to love it but they're all so old now, and I'm so ageist.
I can't think of his name, but he was in Talk Radio. Dave Foley.
Look at what my brain just brought up out of nowhere.
That's how Alzheimer's works.
Good job brain.
You can remember stuff from old, old, old times long past.
I should give it a treat.
Dave Foley. Loved Talk Radio. Loved Dave Foley in that show.
I really do love Dave Foley and I loved him also on The Middle. He played Brick's counselor.
He was his counselor.
Oh my gosh that show.
Who was obsessed with his ex-girlfriend.
I haven't seen that show in forever.
I recently rewatched the entire series.
Series.
Series.
Oh my gosh.
That show is the best.
I really loved that show.
I loved their last name was Heck.
Oh, heck yeah.
Oh, anyway I have, okay going back to Scott Thompson.
Scott Thompson yes.
Aka Carrot Top. Googlina says he’s worth 70 million dollars.
Oh my.
I know that also shocked me.
He's so much more attractive to me right now. Suddenly.
So, I have to say after doing all this like searching, so I just did a general search on him which took me to his Instagram account and I think you guys I scrolled so much through his account.
You saw so many pictures of Speedos.
He's just you know what he's just no no no no no they're not that many Speedos.
Oh okay.
Mostly, he just will say hey guys this is an awesome country song. He always snaps.
Oh yeah.
He just starts dancing to this country song, and you get like, ten seconds or fifteen seconds of him. It was a surprising search for me, and I enjoy that. I like to get a search where I'm like huh.
Yeah.
That's not what I was expecting.
Yeah it's nice to be surprised.
Yeah so you know Carrot Top that's a blast from the past for me really.
Real random. What made you think about that?
Alright I'm glad you asked.
I was driving down the same street where I saw the balls swinging.
Which is just so apropos since Carrot Top like stick pictures of himself in a Speedo. Swinging balls.
Same street. And there was a guy out there walking on the sidewalk this time. Good job guy.
Oh yes.
And he had the reddest hair, and it was kind of you know it was kind of… 
Bushy.
Yeah it was kind of bushy it was short, and it just reminded me of Carrot Top. I thought geez I haven't heard anything out of him in a long time is he okay?
Carrot Top are you okay?
Are you alright?
Call us and let us know.
So, my last thing I saved the best for last. Like Vanessa Williams. Don't sing it.
We might be able to afford that one. That was cruel wasn't it? Vanessa I'm sorry.
Wow.
I don't know where that came from.
Savage. So, the last one I'm going to talk about is German word for hopefulness followed by crushing resignation. I love etymology. Love it. I love knowing the meanings behind words and where words come from and blah blah blah.
And the Germans have.
I love that you ended that with blah blah blah.
Right because it's perfect and I just ruined it sorry.
Continue.
I love that you pointed it out because it is funny. It's ironic.
I love words blah blah blah.
I love words so much blah blah blah.
So, the Germans.
The Germans have great words for complex concepts that don't translate into English. Just single words that we don't have a single word for. One of the Freaks, that's what we call ourselves in the box of oddities. Facebook group, we're the freaks and we fly our flags proudly. He asked if there was a single word for waking up every day feeling hopeful only to be disappointed and weary by the end of the day.
A single word?
A single word that would sum up that experience.
Like every day you just wake up and you're ready to kick the world's ass and then by the end of the day the world has kicked your ass. A lot of people had some funny answers like life. The human condition, you know, stuff like that. But I was sure there was a German word for that concept. I was sure of it because they have words for everything. And after some digging, I found a blog by Martinique, single name, on EF dot com, called “Seventeen German Words with no English Translation.”
Oh perfect.
Nice.
I scrolled past words like wanderlust or vonderlust and schadenfreude.
What does that mean?
It's glee or happiness at somebody else's misfortune.
Say it again.
Glee or happiness that someone else's...
No, the German word. I know those words.
Well, I said it so smoothly the first time. You probably wanted me to say it again. Okay. It's schadenfreude.
Schadenfreude. Okay.
Please excuse my German pronunciations people.
I like it. What's the next one?
And number 13 was the one I was looking for. It's weltschmerz.
Oh, weltschmerz.
That's fun to say.
Weltschmerz.
What does that mean?
It's a mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state.
Whoa. They packed all that into one word.
Weltschmerz.
It goes on to say this part really cracked me up. Weltschmerz is what you feel when you come to terms with all the evils of the world and the fact that you have student loans and might not be a dolphin trainer after all. So, I really related to this.
I know that feeling.
Because it's how I feel when I remember that my books aren't deep and meaningful enough for Oprah's attention.
Oh man.
Or when I walk past a mirror and the person I see isn't at all what I picture in my mind when I think of myself. There's some weltschmerz going on.
I may have that tattooed on my body somewhere.
That's just going to be my motto.
I completely agree. The dolphin trainer part is killing me.
So, what do you feel weltschmerz about? Where did you think you would be at this point in your life?
Oh, my goodness.
Honestly?
Yeah.
I thought I'd be worth...
No, no lie to me. Tell me a big fat lie.
I thought I had no plans to get married.
Me neither.
I had written it off, not getting married. Sean ruined all that. He's so cute. I really thought I would either... One of two things. I wanted to start off being a camera operator for the NFL and then I wanted to be in the production booth for the NFL. And then I thought, because editing is what I really wanted to do, I really thought I was going to go to California, and I was going to edit movies. I really did.
Really?
Yep. I really thought that's what I was going to do. That was the plan.
So, do you feel weltschmerz about that?
Not really. I don't. I don't because Sean is the light of my life.
I'm going to throw up.
When I wake up and I see him, that's just like, this is where I'm supposed to be.
Disgusting.
I'm sorry. But I will say doing all of this podcasting stuff has just really injected a whole lot of energy into me. Because the editing part and the creative part and hanging out with you.
Sean can go out to California too.
He could.
He's portable.
Well, his job's portable too. He can work from anywhere. But it's okay.
I'm too old to start that game.
No, you're not.
Yeah, you're right. I'm not.
Every time I think I'm too old to do something, this is God telling me things, like speaking to me. Not to be weird. Every time I think I'm too old to do something, I see something online, and I am not kidding you, about somebody who did such and such at the age of fifty-one or didn’t do this until they were this age. And they're this age and they're still doing this.
I know.
Every time I think that, I'm like, oh, well, this is my life. This is what it's going to be forever and ever and ever.
I know.
It doesn't have to be that way.
I don't know that I have a schmurch schmurch right now.
Weltschmerz.
Thank you. I'd rather be doing some other things in my life, but right now these are just those things are what the things that I'm doing right now.
Yeah, yeah.
Got bills to pay.
I have bills to pay.
And little doggy mouths to feed.
Yes.
And there ain't nothing in this world for free.
Yeah.
We've started our side business just that we're trying to get that going.
That's right.
What is that side business, Cara?
Well, in another life, Sean was a glass artist. And for several years, he did torch work making small glass objects, hummingbirds, earrings, jewelry. And then he's also a glass engraver with a stone wheel. He doesn't use lasers. It's hand engraved. So, he did that for a lot of years while we were young and it just didn't make much money. But he still loves doing that. And so, during the pandemic, we thought, you know what, we're just going to start our own business and we called it Moose and Mallard Trading Company.
I love it.
We don't know which one of us is the moose and the other one's the mallard. We haven't decided yet.
He's definitely the moose and you're the mallard.
So, I run the business. I do the social media and he is the glass artist.
He's the artisan. He does amazing things.
And we're going to branch out too. That’s why we didn't call it like the Burch Glass Company because we didn't want to limit ourselves to glass because I'm also quite creative and artistic.
Correct.
And I can make things.
Paper crafts!
Paper crafts and jewelry. And someday we're going to get to where we're just doing that.
Refurbishing antiques and things like that.
No, no, no, I don't do that.
I thought you were thinking about doing some of that, like going to junk stores and…
I do think that would be fun.
Painting furniture and things like that.
I do think that would be fun.
On the farm with your goats.
Oh, I do want goats.
I know.
But no, I probably won't refurbish furniture.
Okay. So, forget it then. I'm never backing you.
Crap.
That's a deal breaker.
What's your strange perch?
My whole life. No, I'm just kidding.
No, it's not.
Well, I, like I said.
Oh, you were saying yes.
That's how I feel when I remember that my books aren't deep and meaningful enough to get Oprah's attention.
You know what? Oprah is not the end all and be all.
I know she's not.
But she can push a book.
She can make people's dreams come true.
Yeah.
You get a.
Brea Book.
You get a bestseller. And you get a bestseller. That's kind of my weltschmerz sometimes.
I understand that.
But you know, I think about Agatha Christie. My gosh. Talked about her last week. She was writing books for forever.
Yeah.
You're a very good writer.
Thank you!
You've got a lot of books out there.
I do. I have 16.
Yeah.
Anyway, that was my last one.
I have one more.
It is what does a year-round blue porch light indicate?
Yes, yes, yes.
So I knew that many people would put a blue light on their porch to support Autism Awareness Month.
Oh, really? I do not know that.
Really?
That's weird for someone like me not to know.
I thought that's why you were nodding at me when I read that.
No, no.
Oh, what did you what were you nodding about?
I thought it was support for the police.
It absolutely is support for the police.
I didn't know that.
I know these things.
It's like the thin blue line.
Yeah.
Flag thingy.
Exactly.
Autism Awareness Month is April. And so, I've seen blue lights pop up more often in April. And then they take them down in April. But this one house that I drive by on the way to work has a blue light all the time. And I thought, well, it's probably just they're supporting autism all the time. Like, you don't have to take away your support. But I'm guessing that that's what this is. It's supporting the police in the community. So then that led me to look up what other colored porch lights mean, because I see different ones around town.
Yes.
And so, I'm going to share that with you here.
I love it. I'm ready.
Red originated from the “Shine Your Light” campaign to support firefighters in your community.
Oh, I thought it was going to be Satan.
Not Satan.
Firefighters, not Satan.
Firefighters.
Good.
Purple is used during the month of October to honor victims and survivors of domestic violence.
Oh, because purple is also an epilepsy color.
Oh, you're right.
I do know that one.
I forgot about that.
I think purple also is supporting of lupus sufferers. I may be wrong about that, though. Oh, no, maybe that's a butterfly.
What?
I will cut this part.
No, because that's awesome. Purple or a butterfly.
You guys, my brain is broken.
It's perfect. It's a beautiful mind.
OK, Alzheimer's Association, please sponsor us.
What's the Alzheimer's color? I bet that one's purple.
I forgot. That was a joke and you missed it.
Oh, gosh, because I was… Just edit this laughing part.
OK, pink is also used during the month of October for
breast cancer awareness.
Boom. Green is often used to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, but it also can be used year-round to show appreciation for US veterans and active military members.
And yellow kills bugs.
That's the end of my search list.
Wow. We had so much this week that we learned about and now, but what about this one?
This is a quick listing of our other searches from the past week that we didn't have time to discuss in this episode, but we'll possibly cover in a future bonus episode.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
If we get enough interest. You go first.
All right. Is Decalogue another name for the Ten Commandments? Jokes told by Ronald Reagan. New National Monument near the Green Canyon. Oppenheimer, the movie, the Great Wolf Lodge in Kansas City. Silly holidays. Hot Ones, the TV show. Buffer app not posting. Dog birthday cakes near me. Linda Cardellini in Guardians of the Galaxy, volume three. What is the plural for apparatus? Colleen Ballinger and Guy on a Buffalo.
Oh, my gosh, Guy on a Buffalo.
I knew that you would remember that.
Oh, my Lord.
All right, here's mine. Sunglasses headband, Ohio. Everybody talking about Ohio this week.
Oh, yes.
I just, I was like, why is everybody talking about Ohio from my log that I live in? William Bodette, etymology, Sister Cities, Springfield Arts Anonymous Group, Architect Barbie 2011. Downtown Bird e-scooters. COVID resurgence 2023. You know it’s happening because you.
I started it. I probably brought it back to this town.
Yep, I bet you did.
Sorry, everybody.
Patient zero.
I'm still struggling with it. You guys can hear it. You can hear it in my laugh.
And the clearing of the throat.
Yes, I cannot get past it.
I think we should talk about some viewer email.
Definitely.
Okay.
I'm so excited about this.
I know I'm super excited too.
And not just emails.
We have mentions and people contacting us.
Yeah, people contacting us in all different kinds of ways. First…
I want to say thank you to Diane B 2222. Diane wrote us a nice little note, and she rated and reviewed us, gave us five stars and congratulated us. And she said it was really nice to hear your voice again.
Oh, nice. I know what the B stands for in the Diane B and I got back in touch with her on LinkedIn.
Nice.
Because I just haven't had enough social media.
We made some new friends this week as well.
We did.
A little cross over from box of oddities to here.
Is that right?
It is right.
Bea. 
Hey, Bea.
She emailed us. This is my favorite part of her email. Because it's talking about me. I found your podcast because I was stalking Brea after she correctly guessed very specifically where I'm natively from based on how I say crayon in a comment on the box of oddities freaks group. She guessed tri-state Indiana slash Ohio, Kentucky, but she was close enough out of fifty states and countless countries, she threw out three and Indiana was correct. How did you know?
I bet I know how you know.
How?
You're from that area.
I am from that area. And she said, because there was a question in the group, how do you pronounce crayon? How do you pronounce this word crayon? And you can kind of hear how I used to pronounce it when I was a little kid. Cran.
Are you serious?
We call them crans.
Oh my gosh. Crans.
And Bea's answer was crown.
Crown.
And I dare anybody to say otherwise.
And I knew a lot of people when I was growing up in the tri-state area who called them crowns.
Oh, my goodness. I've never heard that.
Crayon. Two syllables. F that noise. They're either crans or crowns.
I've always said crayon.
Not there.
We've said it so much now. It sounds weird.
It is.
What does that even mean?
Bea, full disclosure, I know how to Facebook stalk people too. And when you said crown, I was like, whoa. I had a hunch.
Yeah.
Okay. I did go to your Facebook account, and I saw that you were from Indiana.
That's funny.
Because I didn't want to look like a complete moron. And maybe people in other places call them crowns too. But I was delighted when I saw that you were from the state of Indiana because I just validated everything that I ever grew up with. But Bea had some great ideas in her email about searches we could do.
Yes.
And some of the names of our fans and listeners that we could consider. So, thanks Bea for getting in touch.
Yes.
Also, I love the name Bea. We heard from an old friend. Her name is Dori. And she reached out to us, and she was so nice sending us a fan mail. 
Yes.
She's a fan. She says, I literally don't make any Google searches because I don't want Google to know what crazy things I think about. Sometimes I search on my laptop because that feels better than doing it on my phone. Maybe I don't want any targeted ads trying to sell me cream for my husband's bunion or foot fetish ads from OnlyFans.
Yeah. Because she, along with many of the rest of you, thought it was hilarious that neither Cara nor I knew what OnlyFans was and that our husbands had to tell us.
Yes.
Sean knew right away.
So did Clint.
Dori, just set Google up to be incognito.
Correct.
They won't know what you're searching. There will be no search history.
See, we can't do that because then our whole show would be dead.
We've got nothing to talk about.
So, we have to take the good with the bad. Take them both and then you have.
The facts of life.
Correct.
The facts of life.
All right, Dori.
Thanks for...
Thank you, Dory.
It was so good to hear from you.
Because we miss your sweet face.
Yes.
Then Cara, you also got another contact from somebody else.
Yes. A friend. Her name is Martha. I sent her our podcast and she's been listening. And so, she sent me some of her searches that she's been doing. Repair couch cushions. She has two big dogs. Shout out to Baxter and Teddy.
Baxter!
What bugs leave welts because I walked through a swarm of things and was stung all over today. Should I worry, my dog is puking yellow and over drinking and eating grass like a lawn mower.
Oh, my Lord.
His tummy hurts.
Very good searches.
Yes.
Gotta make sure your doggy's feeling good.
And lots of full questions.
And you know what? Oh, you're right. They were.
Martha's Cara's girl.
Oh my gosh.
And Martha, Cara and I both know Martha.
Yep.
Martha went to my church.
And Martha was my boss for a while.
Yeah.
And we didn't know.
We didn't know.
That there was crossover.
And finally, last but definitely not least, we got an email from Mike of Heather. Heather's Mike because Cara tried to fix Heather up with Phil last week. And so, I think Mike is feeling a little bit possessive.
This was such a good email.
He says, Dear DTH gals, the purpose of this email is to confirm your upcoming cat poop and puke odyssey experience for your October stay in Charleston, South Carolina. Your short-term work experience rental is located on James Island. This is not to be confused with John's Island. Note that there is no possessiveness in these names because the islands belong to everyone. It's not James verse John. However, there are two roundabouts and a disturbing number of places to get a perm. Don't worry though. Just stay in, be crafty and enjoy searching our interwebs. As our recent guest, Stephen King, said, it's a great place to stay. Just pop that bra latch and relax until you hear retching sounds.
Oh my gosh. Pop the bra latch is my favorite part.
So many callbacks. I love it. I can't wait. I'm so excited to clean up poop and puke, pop my bra latch. It's gonna be great.
Like I'm going to make you clean up any poop and puke.
I absolutely will help you clean that up. I'm not just going to go back and sit on the couch while I watch you scoop up puke. That's cold.
I would.
Okay.
Good to know.
So that is the end of our listener mail for this week.
Thanks everybody.
Keep them coming.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's so much fun.
It is.
It makes all the social media angst worth it.
If you'd like to reach us, you can email us at delete this history podcast at gmail.com.
And we also have some social media accounts, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram at DTH gals.
Yeah. Look for us.
You know what?
What?
I need to go delete my history.
Oh my gosh. Me too. Bye.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
Delete this history is created, written, hosted, produced and edited by Brea Brown and Cara Burch theme music is so good by Orkas. Email us at delete this history podcast at gmail.com. Find us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at DTH gals.
Flat affect provided by Mental Exhaustion and Weltschmerz.